Lilly pulitzer one shoulder dress

21/11/1
I worked from home today because the kids' school was having a teacher work day. It was a decent day. When I am alone with the kids they don't really argue too much and even if they do I am there to help them. It seems like I have a better relationship with my kids and my children don't misbehave as badly when it is just me taking care of them. They really ratchet things up when their mother is home. Wife came home and she is nearing the end of her academic degree plan. Had to have an HVAC repairman come try and fix our heater. He shocked himself 3 times. Wife has had problems with her Dr office adding stress to her day meaning that she was in a bad mood and let me know it. She spent all afternoon in the bedroom while I dealt with the kids, cooked supper, did the dishes, washed clothes, and did the laundry. We took the kids for a short walk after supper without the dogs because it was already getting dark. I gave the kids baths and they went to bed on time. Wife stayed up late working on schoolwork and I went to sleep alone.
21/11/2
Woke up with ychild in bed. Wife was already up and griping about something. Getting gripped out 1st thing in the morning always starts off the day in a bad mood. Work was uneventful but productive. Got home and cleaned off the kitchen table (of course there wasn't a single square inch of available space on it for the past 1 1/2 weeks) none of the mess was mine it was all wifes/kids projects.I cleaned it so that she would have a space to make cookies with the kids like she promised. Trying to make her day a little easier knowing that had she gone in there with the table like that it would have been bad and also knowing that there were things on the table so I knew that I would get blamed for any misplaced objects. My prediction came through when she came into the kitchen and thanked me for cleaning the table but immediately started griping about missing items and how she had wished she had cleaned it to show she would know where they are. This always happens and is one of the main reasons I cannot declutter our house. It just leads to more gripping. If I clean or don't clean I'm gonna get bitched out. Wife had to head to town quickly to pick up an Rx so we went with her. I had not yet started supper so I put everything up so we could have it the next day and we all went into town together and ate supper in the van. She also got some negative comments on some of her schoolwork so she was in a bad mood x2 because of an incident with her dr's nurse. Wife stayed in the bedroom working on schoolwork while I got the kids dressed in their PJ's and put them to bed about 15 min late. I walked into the bedroom and she was searching for socks for the kids in the laundry hamper. When she was done I took the hamper into the living room and matched them all then put them up. I then played on my computer. Wife went into the kitchen at about 9:45. I went in there about 10 min later and asked her if there was anything I could do for her. She said no then asked me if I saw her come into the kitcher. I said yes and she started gripping that I should have come in there sooner to help her cause she was now almost done. She started complaining that the only time she gets to relax is when she is laying down on her phone in bed (nevermind the number of times i come into the bedroom to find her watching TV or on facebook on her computer.)
I was only on my computer for about 30 min. Its not like I spend all day doing nothing but she makes me feel like I do nothing at all. A common mantra in this house is the wife saying "I never get any help" and "I cannot keep this house clean by myself" when she literally hasn't done any cleaning since her parents visited last month and I still did most of the cleaning. The only time she cleans is when someone is coming over. Needless to say I am feeling very resentful and unloved. We haven't shown any affection to each other since a month ago. Some Days when things are decent (not good just not bad) I wonder if it's a mistake to be considering divorce but days like today are more common and remind me of why I want one. I couldn't sleep due to drinking some tea at supper so I got out of bed and sat on the couch until 1am.
21/11/3
Woke up this morning very tired and sleepy with ychild in bed with me. Wife was already in a mood and I was gripped out for "not listening" she then proceeding to account for 3-4 times recently that I have asked her a question that she had already told me an answer in a previous conversation. So once again I get to start the day in a bad mood. I feel compelled to kiss her and tell her I love her now or she will get upset. I did that then came back inside for something and she got upset when I didn't go back and give another hug/kiss. No way am I gonna do that while being bitched out so I just walked out the door. Great start to the day. Got the kids from school and came home. Cooked supper and took out the trash. Got the kids into bed but ychild talked herself into falling asleep in our bed. Wife said she would move her but of course didn't and ychild slept in our bed all night long.
21/11/4
Woke up with ychild in bed with me. kissed and told her i loved her before work. Had a decent day at work and left to pick up the kids. This was my last day picking the kids up from school and we stopped for ice cream on the way home. We were supposed to walk the dogs before I started supper. I told my wife this but she was on the phone with her mother about her job offer. 25 min later and it was getting close to supper time and she was still on the phone.I decided it was too close to supper to walk and then cook. Wife came out and I told her that. she got upset and we ended up having a small walk. I got back and cooked supper and we all ate at the kitchen table. Wife disappeared back into the bedroom to work on schoolwork. I put the kids to bed on time and then got on my computer. Wife started working on the kids lunches and I asked if there was anything i could do. She said no. Then the bedtime ritual started. This all happened within 20min. I came to bed and turned the lights out. When my wife came back she bitched at me cause she had left one of the lights on on purpose. Then she zinged me for not paying attention when she told me about her medication a few days ago. Then she complained that I had missed a bag of trash in the bedroom. Then she accidentally slammed the bathroom door and got mad when I asked if she did that on purpose. Then she cussed at me when she complained about the bed hurting her back and I suggested a sleep study. Despite all of this I really felt the need to try and cuddle with her. I rolled over and she immediately asked if she needed to turn off her phone. I told her no but she could if she wanted to, then she complained that this is the only time she gets to relax and then immediately jumped up cursing because she forgot to put the clothes from the washer into the dryer. I rolled over and put my mask on to fall asleep. I knew I would get hurt but I couldn't help myself. It took me a while to go to sleep because of the pain in my heart and the lack of love.
21/11/5
I worked from home today so i did not have to wake up as early. Wife woke up and got the kids ready. Wife had a full one sided conversation with ychild in our bed while i was trying to sleep. I feel like she was resentful for me being able to sleep in and her having to get up so she did it as a way to wake me up and keep me from being able to sleep. The kids yelled goodbye and the wife left without so much as a word or touch. I had a decent day at work. The HVAC repair man showed up early.I was going to go and pick up the kids at 11:00 but we decided to just get powerhouse(aftercare) at the school instead also for monday. I could have gone and picked up the kids but didn't because they were already scheduled and I thought we had already paid. Wife got mad at me for that. She was really late because it was her last day of DT and she had people say goodbye to her then went to pick up the kids. We decided to eat at the new seafood place then went and picked up groceries. We got home and put the groceries away and watched some shows on the couch. She got upset because I was on my phone (so was she) and said she watched more of the tv than I did. I tried to get the kids in bed but she overruled me because it was the weekend. The kids stayed up and eventually convinced her to go to bed with her. I slept alone but honestly I think I prefer that now.
21/11/6
Woke up alone. Had a decent day and went to Ychilds 1st birthday invite party. Wife made appointments for both kids to get the flu and covid vaccine. We had a great time at the party and socialized for the 1st time in a long time. We had to leave early to get to the pharmacy for the vaccines. When we got there the pharmacist told us we were scheduled for the flu only. It greatly upset the wife and she flew into a rage. Canceled both appointments. We got back to the car and she was yelling, screaming, and violently hitting her phone on the steering wheel. I told her to be an example to kids and she told me to "kiss her ass." She is angry the whole ride home. She started getting loud with me multiple times and I asked her not to talk to me like that. Apparently, asking her to speak to me politely instead of raising her voice at me is not giving her grace. Saying that I never give her grace when she talks nasty to me. saying that I do it all the time to her and she never says a word. I told her to speak up next time and she says she does and just gets bitched out. I am at my wits end. She is being very nasty to me and then puts the blame on me instead of realizing how she is treating me and accepting blame. A really nice day totally
ruined by her temper. We ended up having cereal for supper and going for custard afterwards. We stayed up late and the kids convinced my wife to go sleep with them.
21/11/7
Woke up by myself again. After wife got up we ended up going to the new donut store for breakfast and we stopped off at walmart on the way home. When we got home I noticed my radiator was leaking.I went to oriellys to buy some stop leak. We got back and I put on jumanji and then beethoven. Ochild really loved jumani. We were having a decent time. Today I did 4 loads of laundry, bathed the dog, cleaned the aquarium, cooked supper, and cleaned the guest bathroom. Of course wife got onto me when I did the kids laundry because i missed 1 shirt and 4 socks out of ychilds room. After supper we played a board game. Then the kids had a bath and I was chastised when I went in there to talk to the kids after my wife was yelling at them. I am not supposed to step in except when I am supposed to of course I have no idea when that is supposed to be. Kids went to bed a little late. I slept by myself.
21/11/8
Woke up by myself. Got up early even though I am working from home to help my wife with kids and take the dog to the vet. Wife started gripping about me not doing anything to help with the kids. I don't understand because she gets them ready at the last minute. That's usually when I am getting together also. She doesn't tell me or let me ask what she needs help with. Just grips after the fact. Dropped the dog off and returned to work. Picked the dog back up and returned to work again. Wife got home late due to her new job onboarding and flu vaccine. We had mcdonalds for supper and the kids went to bed really late. ychild spent the evening with wife because she wasn't feeling well. Since both the kids were up past their bedtime wife went to sleep with them.
21/11/9
Woke up early because I am still stuck on the old schedule. Wife came in and got herself ready for her 1st day. I got up, helped with the kids and got the dogs ready (surgery) then went to work. work was ok. Came home and cooked supper. The evening was uneventful.
21/11/10
Ychild got sick so I worked from home. We were both asleep when wife came into the room. She then had a loud conversation/argument with ochild in the room. waking up ychild and me. If I were to wake them up when they were sleeping in I would get bitched up one side and down the other. Seems like she does it all the time. Took Ychild to the dr and she was covid negative thankfully. Wife came home and the day went ok. She was tired so we watched netflix. I cooked supper and did the dishes. We got the kids in bed a little late. Wife went to bed a little early. I went into the bathroom to get some medicine shortly after. Wife was visibly upset when I came in. I really don't understand why and she wouldn't tell me. Eventually she said that she didn't expect me there. It made me feel really hurt. I felt like she not only didn't want me there but actually got mad that I showed my face. Maybe she thought I was going to lay down with her
but if that was so it would be no reason to get mad, I know she plays on her phone in bed and that's her relaxation time. Either way it was totally uncalled for and if that's how she is going to make me feel I don't see a point in staying together. storm came rolling in and ychild woke up so she had to go sleep with them.
21/11/11
Holiday today so I stayed home. I could hear the wife yelling at the kids trying to get ready. So I got up to help.
21/11/15
Skipped some days because nothing happened. Nothing good or bad. At bedtime my wife was getting lunch ready. She has been a little stressed lately due to her computer HD failing and EDTPA coming back for revisions. Her professor didn't come to her appointment to help. I helped make the kids lunches. The kids' clothes were still sitting in the chair (apparently it's my job.) I offered to help get the kids clothes together. She very sarcastically said she would welcome the help if I could turn on a light so she could see. I know it doesn't sound bad on paper but she was very hateful and hurtful. When I asked her not to talk to me like that she responded that she didn't need a lecture right now. I just want to be spoken to with respect and love not hate and vitriol.
21/11/21
Not journaling everyday because things aren't as bad everyday. Yesterday I did the laundry for the entire house. This morning I got up. my wife had already left for the grocery store to pick up groceries. I got up with Ychild. She got home and we unloaded the groceries. I relaxed in the living room. and she started cleaning the kitchen. I always hate days like this because anytime she cleans I get to hear her bitch and moan and the state of things. I am the only one to clean the house/kitchen for the last 6 months, actually even longer,for as long as she has been in college or working. It is not messy, it's just not up to her standards. Plus most of the mess is hers. She does projects and things but doesn't clean up afterward. When I get in to clean, if I move things around or put up her things I get yelled at. It feels like a handicap because the only one that can truly clean is her and when she doesn clean I feel like crap because she spends the whole time
mouthing and bitching about me because it isn't clean enough to suit her. And if I try to go in and help or clean another part of the house I get bitched at again because "i'm only cleaning because she is upset" she doesn't seem to notice the hours of cleaning I do when she is not around or is concentrating on other things.
21/11/29
We left on the 23rd (my birthday) to go down to Carthage for the weekend. The holiday went well with minimal fussing. Friday the 26 came and my wife surprised me with a weekend getaway sans kids. her family pissed her off right when we left. we get to our BnD and then leave to do some shopping. We went way too long, ate supper,and drove to longview. She had thought that we would just spend the weekend together. I wanted to get physical. I take her to a sex shop and she gets embarrased and refuses to look at anything or consider any toys. Our sexlife is laughable and practically non-existant. You would figure if someone was trying to save their marriage they would at least attempt to spice things up. I got upset and we went back to our cabin. I am tired and we just go to sleep. Wife makes us take a bath in the morning. We wash each other, then when we get out she changes into a negligee. She tells me I am not allowed to do any oral on her and that it will be the last time I see her in a G string. Totally sexy right? I had put some nice smelling lotion on my privates and she made a comment about how that would taste ( thinking I might get some oral) but instead she just led me to the bed and got on top. She has sex with me and I find it difficult to finish becuase she is clearly not enjoying it and refused to do any foreplay. We leave for the day and walk around Jefferson. Get back and start drinking wine and painting. She gets drunk enough to make a move and changes into another negligee. I feel like I almost forced her to let me eat her out after I gave her oral. She says I am not allowed to kiss her. we eventually start having some decent sex but she cannot stand much of the physical aspect and eventually it just shift to the standard missionary. I cannot finish and she gets up. I tell her i'll finish myself off if she will help. She starts cleaning and doesn't care when I get upset. We eventually have a small heart to heart where she tells me she is resentful
for the way my parents treated her and I was very pacifist instead of confrontational with my parents. She tells me she watches squirting videos and masturbates in the bath (lied to me when she says she doesnt masterbate.) She clearly has very strong issues with sexual intimacy and refused to do anything I wanted. She thought it was a successful weekend and I'm thinking it just shows how far apart we are and how little in common we have. multiple times just both of us on our phones because we have nothing to talk about. We go back and pick up the kids and it takes forever to get home. When we do I find the dog with something sticking out of her chest.
I am trying to work on her when my daughter comes out there and the dog jumps up and runs to her. She starts freaking out and i try and get ychild to come to me, unfortunately i did yell because i was scared of her getting stabbed by the dog. Of course she freezes up screaming as the dog is trying to get to her. I end up having to go to her and pick her up. As I am trying to take her to the garage I fall and bust my knee. This starts a big fight because I am now hurt, angry, and yelling while also trying to find out what's wrong with the dog. Eventually I discovered that the dog had forced herself inside the metal loop of a small childs butterfly net. I end up cutting it off her with some wire cutters. My knee is now busted and my wife and I have been fighting because she feels like when I am angry and hurt is the best time to keep getting in my face and talking shit about me. Just makes me want to seek a divorce all the more. She thinks this weekend was a success and all I can see is the end. I was angry when I went back out to her van and hit the open door button too hard and dented it. No real excuse but I wish she didn't pile on my problems by yelling at me in front of the kids while I'm trying to discipline them. I wasn't abusing them or being physical in any way but my wife will not allow for any dissent from the way she wants to raise the kids. I feel like I am not a father. I am allowed no say in raising them. The kids can just yell/scream/cry and my wife will come to the rescue, preventing me from actually doing any good or teaching them to understand right/wrong. It's her way or the highway.
Dec 2021

I just watched
iGen: Narcissism and Neuroticism Dr. Jean Twenge
I think this poem I wrote really connects with what Dr Twenge was saying'
TROLLS
They see their world through Windows, but never ones of glass Sitting in their living room, a world cruise on their arse
They see their world through Windows, IOS and Android Living in their virtual world , a human contact void
Spouting words of hatred, with fingers lithe and supple Immune to all the pain they cause, or how they make such trouble
Typing words of hatred, with venom, spittle, bile When did they last visit, a place to socialize
To see the real expressions, of people they despise The droop of mouth and shoulders, the pain behind the eyes?
Confront the hurt created, and see the pain in tears Instead of hiding far away, from the world they really fear.
Trolling through the Twittersphere, looking for their victims Picking up on little slips, make hapless tweeters scream
Anxiety their closest friend, deflecting their self hatred Attacking the society, the one from which they fled
Driving people to despair, while wishing themselves dead They ought to mix with people, and have a life instead.
Tayfoun Mehmet 02/01/2020

Hi everyone, It’s my first time posting on here, or Reddit for that matter. But as I’ve scoured the internet for some answers or people experiencing the same thing, I thought i’d turn to this subreddit. I’ve been experiencing BD for years now in various forms, but one thing has been a constant source of daily discomfort. For context, I’m very insecure about my whole shoulders/back area. Any time these parts of my body are touched by people or objects (eg while laying down), I get an irrepressible feeling of discomfort, especially if I’m especially focused on it. I also feel like laying on my back is somehow making it ‘wider’, which is crazy, and I also have trained myself to sleep on the side to avoid that. I’d love to know if anyone else has experienced something of the like, it would be a little validating haha

This is part of my little series about the adventures of Vr'ocria and Human Aldrick. If you'd like to read previous parts, they're linked below, along with brief summaries of each if you prefer to just jump right into the new installment:
Part One: Alien learns what "sleep" is and how humans prefer to do it in a comfy bed with blankets and pillows. And they find it utterly adorable.
Vr'ocria and Human Aldrick are sent on a survey mission together. Things go south, Aldrick makes sure they're safe, and then Vr'ocria learns what human sleep is and how vulnerable humans are when they sleep. Vr'ocria's people don't sleep, but enter stasis, a form of rest in which they typically stand, and they are still slightly aware of their surroundings. Vr'ocria finds human sleep utterly adorable, and also decides she will protect Aldrick while he sleeps. And she also develops a massive crush on him. (Her scales turning purple is her version of blushing)
Part Two: An alien + human adventure with such shenanigans as poison drinking, befriending dangerous wildlife, and fighting a space pirate. Oh, and they have a huge crush on each other.
Vr'ocria and Human Aldrick end up assigned together for another survey mission. Vr'ocria tries to deny her feelings for Aldrick after a tense conversation with her nestmate about the danger of humans, but when they're ambushed in the night by a pirate and Aldrick takes a blow to save her, becoming injured in the process, she comes to realize just how strongly she feels for him. She carries him to safety and the two share a tender moment, but nothing yet happens between them.
Part Three: When a cold-blooded alien has to cuddle a warm-blooded human for warmth
Vr'ocria and Human Aldrick are assigned to an ice planet for their next mission. Aldrick chews out Command for assigning Vr'ocria there when they know she's cold-blooded and not built for the cold, and when the power goes out, they cuddle to keep her from freezing. And they finally confess their feelings for one another.
On to the story!
—
Aldrick didn't ever want to move from this spot. Waking up in a beautiful woman's arms felt like a dream, and he still wasn't sure if it was real. As consciousness returned to him, he tilted his head back. Vr'ocria's head still rested on the pillow next to him. Her second eyelids were closed, the thin white membranes making her black eyes appear foggy. She was still resting in stasis.
Aldrick lazily trailed his fingers up her cheeks, across her forehead, all the way to the four ridges that ran up her sloped skull. The way her angular features and pointed ears sloped up towards the back of her head made her look…regal. Almost like she was wearing a crown. Her scales, which changed and flexed with her emotions, were at their neutral emerald green. However, the very tips of each individual scale nearly glowed a vibrant, dark pink. Vr'ocria had explained that the pink was triggered by strong feelings of love–as well as the result of a mating bond.
Mate. It wasn't a human concept. But the word still lit a fire in his heart.
Aldrick continued exploring Vr'ocria's body, slowly running his hands up her arms, tracing her shoulders, until he reached her back. Her spine seemed to buzz underneath his fingers, and he tried to recall what he knew about Ethyrian anatomy. They didn't have hearts, like humans did. Instead, their spine served a similar function, flushing their blood through the veins, but at a constant flow instead of a rhythmic pumping. At the moment, the buzzing was barely noticeable unless he felt for it, perhaps because she was so relaxed.
Still, he was surprised she hadn't woken from stasis yet. Ethyrians were still slightly aware of their surroundings while in stasis, unlike human sleep. Curious, he decided to see how much it took to rouse her.
He leaned forward and kissed the top of her head, between her two center skull ridges. Nothing.
He moved down to her left browbone. Nothing.
He kissed the tip of her nose. Still nothing.
Her cheek was next. Then just beneath her right eye. Her jaw. The crook of her neck.
Finally, she squeaked through her nose, a quiver running down the scales on her back. When he pulled back, her eyes were clear now and her scales had flushed purple. It had taken him a while to figure out that was her version of blushing, and he couldn't help grinning. "You're so cute," he chuckled. "I was trying to see how long it would take you to wake up."
She covered her face with her hands, but she was smiling. "How long were you doing that?"
"I got seven kisses in. You didn't notice?"
She pushed her chin out, pulling her neck up in a leisurely stretch. It reminded him of an Earth gecko. So damn cute.
Vr'ocria dropped her head back down with a sigh. "No," she mused. "I think I didn't register them as danger, so my defense mechanisms didn't kick in and alert me."
"But neck kisses are danger?"
"Neck kisses tickle," she giggled. She met his gaze with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Do it again."
Aldrick happily obliged.
—
The blizzard outside had finally died down enough for the power main to restore itself. Vr'ocria was grateful for the return of the heater, although she was still reluctant to leave Aldrick's warmth. But hunger finally drove the two of them out of bed, and together they headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
While they were eating, Vr'ocria's communicator pinged. She glanced over. "Oh, it's my nestmate, Galek." She shot Aldrick an apologetic look, but he shook his head and waved her away.
"It's your family, go, take it!"
She smiled gratefully. "I'll be right back." She trodded back to the resting quarters and shut the door behind her. Taking a seat at the desk in the corner, she set the communicator down and pressed the button that allowed a holoscreen to appear. Galek's face smiled back at her, a bit grainy due to a bad connection, but there he was nonetheless. She beamed back at him.
"Hey, how've you been?" He asked. "I haven't seen you in so long, I had to call you."
She rested her chin in her hand. "I've been good. Great, actually," she said dreamily. She launched into a summary of the past few moon cycles and how she'd started taking on more away missions since Galek had suggested it.
But as she talked, a shadow crossed his face. "So you're still working with the human?"
Vr'ocria rolled her eyes. "His name is Aldrick. And he's been nothing but wonderful to me." She looked down, tracing the edge of the desk with her finger. "I like him."
Galek was silent. When she finally glanced back up, he looked angry. She frowned. "What?"
"You turned pink just now."
Vr'ocria glanced down, and sure enough, the tips of her scales had flushed pink.
"Vr'ocria."
She refused to meet his gaze.
"Vr'ocria. Did you mate him?" Galek demanded.
"I didn't mate mate him," she blurted defensively. "I only mate bonded him. Accidentally." She blushed purple. "We haven't done that yet."
"You BONDED him?" Galek exploded. "And YET? What does that mean? That you plan to?"
"No! Well, yes–I mean maybe–" she scoffed and threw her hands in the air. "We haven't gotten that far, okay? Humans court each other first, remember? Also, keep your voice down," she said in a lower tone. "He's in the next room."
"HE'S WITH YOU RIGHT NOW?"
"Galek, I will hang up on you, I swear to the moons–"
But Galek had abruptly fallen silent, leaning forward towards the screen with his eyes narrowed.
"What now?" She demanded.
"What's that on your neck?"
"What?"
"On your neck. Is that a bruise?" His voice was dangerously low.
Vr'ocria stood and went to look in the small mirror hanging on the wall. Sure enough, there was a small bruise beginning to form on her neck.
Right where Aldrick had been kissing her.
Uh oh.
She slowly returned to the desk, a hand clasped over the bruise. She sat down. "It's nothing, I just slipped on some ice."
Galek's eyes bore a hole through her. "He did that to you, didn't he?"
"No!" Her protest was weak. She was never good at lying to Galek.
"You're a terrible liar." His voice was a low growl, a tone that she only ever heard when he was at peak protective-nestmate-mode. "I am going to kill him." She could see his hands shaking from where they were clasped in front of him, his scales bright yellow and standing on end. "I don't care if he's human, I don't care if he's a Union agent, I don't care–"
Vr'ocria threw her head back with a groan. "Shut up, you will not. It's nothing, it's just from a kiss."
"What in the planets is a kiss?"
"It's a human sign of deep affection," she quoted Aldrick, and couldn't wipe the girlish grin from her face as she recalled last night.
"Their 'affection' leaves bruises?" He looked close to bursting at the seams.
"Only that one time, because he was doing it so much." Her scales were a deep purple now. "Because I asked him to."
Galek stared at her in disbelief. "You…asked him to do that to you?"
She covered her face in pure embarrassment. "Planets, you're my nestmate," she groaned out between her palms. "I don't want to talk about this with you! All you need to understand is that I love him, and he loves me." Her spine buzzed at the last statement.
Galek crossed his arms, still looking upset.
Vr'ocria heaved a sigh. "Galek. When we were ambushed by that Norvidian, he saved my life. He protected me from an explosion and it almost killed him. You hear that? A human almost died! That doesn't happen! And he did it for me! And yesterday, you should've heard him tearing Command apart over the communicator for sending me to an ice planet."
Galek refused to meet her gaze. Only the crackle of the holoscreen filled the room.
"Okay, now you're just being stubborn," she snapped. "I'm not a hatchling anymore. I'm an adult and I can make my own decisions, and I've decided that I want to be with Aldrick." She slammed her hand on the table. "And you will respect him."
Galek remained in stubborn silence for a moment longer, before he finally blew out a breath and disappeared from the screen as he sank forward, presumably dropping his head to the table. "You know I'm just worried about you."
Vr'ocria softened. "I know."
He sat back up, rubbing his eyes. "You love him?"
"Yes."
"And he treats you right?"
"Yes."
Galek sighed. "Alright. Alright, fine. I'll be nice…and I'm sorry for being a jerk."
She smiled. "Thank you." She rose to her feet. "Now. I have to finish breakfast with my mate."
To his credit, Galek tried to stifle his groan.
When Vr'ocria emerged back in the kitchen, she found Aldrick looking concerned. "Everything okay? I heard yelling."
She plopped down at the table. "Galek is just protective of me. He's not too sure about…us."
"Oh." Aldrick picked at his nails. "Right. I mean, I understand why." He gave a strained smile. "I'm human, after all."
"Hey," she placed a hand on top of his to stop the picking. "Don't be like that, you're not a monster. Galek a good guy. He's not unreasonable, he'll come around."
His expression softened as he squeezed her hand. Then his eyes drifted down her neck. "Oh shit, he saw that, didn't he? Fuck, Vr'ocria I'm so sorry–"
She could only laugh. "Stop, stop, it's okay. I mean…I kind of like it."
Aldrick turned red and couldn't meet her eye. "Just remind me not to leave hickeys on you when I meet your brother for the first time."
"Nowhere he can see, anyway," Vr'ocria said casually, taking a bite of cereal.
Aldrick choked on his juice.
Alright, that's about as spicy as this series is gonna get, so don't get your hopes up for anything more explicit than that, LOL. I just wondered what would happen when aliens discover hickeys, hehe.
Next chapter will have some space pirate action, so buckle up babes 🤠

Broose's daughter was in the fineries of a lady of the Red Keep when next he saw her.
"I feel like a stuffed pastry."
Broose chuckled at her comment. In truth, Marigold was perhaps the most beautiful Broose had ever seen his daughter. Despite her wild nature, the noble dress of a courtier suited her. She wore it with quiet defiance. Every time he looked at her he saw her mother in her.
"I don't get why I have to wear this stuff," the Dornish girl huffed, "This is only temporary isn't it?"
The two sat on a bench in one of the many hallways of the Red Keep. It had been barely a day or so since the man's induction into the Queensguard. The former king had left hurriedly from the Keep, and it seemed the queen was eager to give chase. Everyone anxiously awaited both of their safe returns.
The Knight of the Bloody Morn had not had a chance to talk to his daughter. He did not know how to explain his actions to her. Now he found himself face-to-face with her and he struggled to find the words to justify what he had done. How could he make her see?
The former hedge knight answered her question with a pained pause, "You are a guest of the Queen until further notice."
"The queen that you've sworn your life to? Did you think about me in any of this? Was this merely for your own glory?" Angry tears refused to fall from her face, the words were venomous enough to hit their mark. Broose looked away.
He thought on their short time together. He thought on his time with her mother. He thought on the many many sins of his life.
"I'm getting old, Mary." The knight shifted awkwardly in his new armor, "And you know I have done terrible things. I have now seen what happens to an old man when he lives his life refusing to own up to his misdeeds. I will not become that man. I must do better for myself, for you, for the realm-"
"Since when did you ever give a fuck about the realm? You'll put a bunch of stuck-up nobles before Harren, Endrew, Danny...before me?"
"Can't you see I'm doing this for you? That in doing this, I might save you from-"
"What if I don't want to be saved-"
"I WILL NOT LOSE YOU, TOO!" If passers-by noticed the conversation, they had the courtesy to keep walking. Where Marigold's tears refused to fall, Broose's did so freely, "I'm not...I'm not strong enough anymore, Mary. If I had found you ten or so years ago maybe I'd be more prepared but I just...my mind is unraveling...it was painful enough losing your mother. I can't leave you in this world without some way of carrying on after I'm gone. I refuse."
For once his daughter did not answer, but simply put an arm around the hulking man.
He continued, "You have kin in Tumbleton. You have kin in Thornefield. The queen has offered you her protection in exchange for my service. This is not goodbye forever, but this is what I must do. What kind of father leaves his daughter to fend for herself in the wild."
She rested her head on his shoulder, tears finally falling, "This...this isn't what I wanted."
Another pained pause, "I know."
-------------------------------------------------------------
Broose found the boys sparring in the training yard. He was quick to beckon them over. His two squires stood in front of him, while his knight-companion leaned against a fence to his side.
"Harren," he asked his former squire, "How long have you been with me?"
"...Going on a decade and a half."
"And in all that time have I been one for ceremony?"
A grin, "No, ser."
"Under what conditions did I make you a knight?"
A widening of the grin, "I disguised myself to enter a tourney and got my ass thoroughly handed to me...ser." He flashed a look at Drew. The young man's eyes widened, realizing what was to come.
Now Broose looked at Drew, "Endrew, it has been a long time coming. We have been busy as of late. Tonight you will stand vigil in the Sept of Baelor, the holiest of places. Seven willing, this Queensguard will make you Ser Endrew Thorne come the morn."

22/5/1
I stopped keeping a journal for a bit because it was getting a little better and I slacked off a little. There were some recent job changes and I now have to stay up late some nights to watch the weather for dam releases. This new job duty is a regulatory requirement and if I do not perform correctly and something where to happen I can be held personally and criminally negligent. It is important that I learn this and do it correctly. I still have insomnia and have difficulty falling back asleep after waking up. This morning there was a storm coming in and I woke up at 1 am to do dam release calculations. I couldn't go back to sleep.I have to do calculations every 2 hours. Since I couldn't go back to sleep I stayed up and cleaned the living room, did the laundry, and did the dishes. Wife woke up at 5 and started to complain about the living room light being on. I asked her if it woke her or the kids up and she said no she only noticed it after she woke up. I don't understand why complain about something if it didn't actually bother you. She didn't seem to care that I had been up all night or that everything was cleaned.
22/5/2
Second night of dam calculations. I was able to fall asleep each time but it is not quality sleep. I stayed in bed after my alarm went off because I was working from home today. She was very upset coming into the bedroom loudly banging things, talking to me, asking me to dress my daughter, yelling and screaming at the kids in the living room. I was just so tired it was hard getting out of bed and she just didn't seem to have an ounce of compassion or caring for me. Later that evening I had cooked a good supper and after she came home she was complaining of how tired she is ( this is a daily occurance) and we watched tv. While we were watching tv I started to fold the laundry. I folded 3 loads of laundry and she just sat on the couch on her phone and just watched me. i don't remember the last time she actually folded the laundry. It has been me for a long time. I am tired of being the only person to do housework and yet also the person yelled at when the house is messy.
22/5/3
another night of dam calculations, a bit easier this time.
22/5/4
another night of dam calculations, a bit easier this time. Had interviews today. 7 interviews and only one person showed up.
22/5/5
another night of dam calculations. Got out of bed. She (got interupted)
22/5/20
Grocery shopping tonight. As we were leaving and trying to decide on a place to eat.Wife made a comment about my diet and how it wouldn't hurt to splurge once a week and get off of it. I don't remember exactly what I said but I didn't expect the response I got. She got very hateful and defensive and turned the car around and wanted to force me out of the car at home in front of the kids. She slammed on the brakes of the vehicle when all I am trying to do is defend myself against her words. Eventually I fell silent again and we went grocery shopping. She leaves for her parents house in the morning so at least i get a weekend of peace.
22/5/22
Wife got back from her parents house in a bad mood. Like she has been just steaming all weekend. I spent the weekend putting up the kids slide and cleaning the house. When she got home she discovered that I got a basketball goal for the kids (didn't come with a net) and she just had a face so i asked "do you not approve" apparently that is being negative. She just went off on me. The rest of the night was just her doing things she needed to do for the following week. Very passive aggressive with little comments and slamming things down.
22/5/23
Wife continues the mood from the previous night. Lecturing my son about how gaming is a lonely life. She asked me if my sex toy made a static noise ( she was accusing me of masterbating at 11:30 the previous night.) My niece's graduation is this Friday. any time my family is brought up, even my brother's kids or my cousins, or anytime we are going to anything with them she gets in this mood that makes me angry. This mood usually lasts from the time plans are made till about a week after we see them. She has ignored my son's desire to see my parents saying he is not welcome where she is welcome. While I agree to an extent, if my son wants to see them I think we owe it to him to give him that opportunity.
22/5/25
I have worked some OT (comp time) in the last week. Last night a storm was coming in so I had to go in and learn how to do releases during a storm. I left at around 9 pm and got home around 3 pm. When I left I kissed my wife and kids goodbye and my wife was upset because it's the 1st time I have kissed her in 2 days. Instead of just talking to me about it she proceeded to just be very passive aggressive. Wife was in our bed with the kids and seemed upset that I wanted to move one of the kids so I could go to sleep. Wife got up at 5 am and was still upset. I could hear her yelling at the kids, coming into the bedroom and having conversations, and throwing things/slamming doors. It seemed like she was doing things to keep me from being able to catch up on sleep.
5/29/2022
Dropped the kids off at the in-laws for a week. A week with no kids. Not one time did we have sex or even hold han
​
June - July 2022

This is a super old video from I wanna say the 90s-2000s. It was one of the first internet videos I remember seeing.
They were "guitar gods" and teaching how to be awesome or something. I just remember one dude playing something clean and then the other guitar starts a slow ballot type solo and then proceeds to shred with insane runs.
I swear one was dressed like a bumblebee. he was kinda fat and pudgy. The other guy was skinny and was either "future man" or a cowboy.
I've been trying to find this video for the last decade i swear.

I just watched

iGen: Narcissism and Neuroticism Dr. Jean Twenge

I think this poem I wrote really connects with what Dr Twenge was saying'
TROLLS
They see their world through Windows, but never ones of glass Sitting in their living room, a world cruise on their arse
They see their world through Windows, IOS and Android Living in their virtual world , a human contact void
Spouting words of hatred, with fingers lithe and supple Immune to all the pain they cause, or how they make such trouble
Typing words of hatred, with venom, spittle, bile When did they last visit, a place to socialize
To see the real expressions, of people they despise The droop of mouth and shoulders, the pain behind the eyes?
Confront the hurt created, and see the pain in tears Instead of hiding far away, from the world they really fear.
Trolling through the Twittersphere, looking for their victims Picking up on little slips, make hapless tweeters scream
Anxiety their closest friend, deflecting their self hatred Attacking the society, the one from which they fled
Driving people to despair, while wishing themselves dead They ought to mix with people, and have a life instead.
Tayfoun Mehmet 02/01/2020

So I (17M) have locked my eyes on this one girl (15) at school, and I don’t know what to to about it.
First time I saw her was about a year ago, give or take, and I was just like “huh she’s cute”. But as time has passed I just like her more and more, the more I saw her the more I liked her, every day. And I don’t really know her at all since we are not friends, but I just love how she looks, how she dresses, how she moves (body language), how she talks, how she laughs, even the little bit I know of the music she likes I love, and everything in between.
The first time I talked to her, and one of the only times, was at the beginning of this year when we shared a class (PE class), everybody introduced themselves, and during class we talked a bit, a normal “what do you like” short conversation. In the next class as I arrived she waved hi at me, we talked very briefly. The teacher made us play basketball, and we were the only ones who didn’t wanted to play and stayed off the field, we were in the opposites sides so we’re not next to each other. Eventually she was changed from my group of the class.
And that’s basically it, a few encounters here and there, at the hallway, at the cafeteria, but not really socialising. I see her every day and feel nervous every time I walk next to her, and I never say anything. She is always with some one or with her group of friends, her class is right in front of mine so I always walk in front of it. I pretty much have no friends at the school but I’m not a weirdo.
I need help in how to start on actively talking to her, how to approach her, keeping in mind that we have walked past each other so much and never say a word to each other. I want to also imply that I like her, but not to come of as weird, loser, nor creepy.
I’m honestly kinda worried that she might think wrong of me, since sometimes I stare at her too much. I’m currently trying to control that. Personally It would be a little easier to talk to her if she was alone, but she never is, the only times she is, is when she walks to her next class, or like to the bathroom, something like that, but I don’t want to interrupt. Even if I said screw it and walked up to her, I don’t know what to say, like… WHAT DO I SAY!? WHAT DO I DO?!?
We both play guitar, she knows it, and she has brought her’s at school a couple times, but I have not approached to her when she does. Like I already said she is always with some one or in a group, talking.
To be honest I’m fine if we never go anywhere romantically, but I just need to talk to her, hang out with her, at least, at least have that.

10/1/22
I had to work on the weekend today. Left at 6:30 and got home at 1:30. I stopped off to get a salad for lunch and got home and ate it. Considering I worked all day I sat down and watched tv for 20 min. My wife was cleaning after I got home. I then got up to put up the laundry the wife had left in the chair for the last 2 weeks since the last time I put up the laundry. she then started yelling at me that the only time i help is when she is mad. Honestly I couldn't even tell she was mad because she has been in the same mood for a month already and I couldn't tell the difference. She has been in the mood for the past 4-5 years anyway i've just gotten used to it.
10/2/22
OC wanted to stay home from church on today and then yc did too. I kept them all day and took them to the park at 3:30pm while wife was still at her school working. She found out they went to the park after i told oc to tell her about petting a hamster at the park. She got very angry that i didn't tell her we left the house to go to the park.
10/3/22
Making my life miserable hasn't stopped. We no longer say I love you and no longer say goodnight. I have caught her yelling at the kids multiple times at night,but of course I'm the problem not her. Today I had to work and my wife was taking the kids to the state fair. I unfortunately left my work uniform at home and had to come home to change and take a shower after working out. The wife was still home and gave me a pissed off go to hell look when she opened the door. I got home at the usual time and texted her to tell me when she left so I could have supper ready when they get here so we could be in time for the scouts. She texted back that she would barely have time to get to scouts much less come home and eat supper first. I then texted her ok just swing by and pick me up so we don't waste gas. She left late and told me that she wouldn't have time. This woman controls every aspect of her time when on trips. She could have left early enough for some family time before scouts. I feel like she is trying to alienate me from my kids already. I can tell this is going to be a rough divorce. She went to bed early
and never said goodnight. I can't count the number of times she has gotten mad at me for going to be without telling her goodnight much less I love you. We rarely say love anymore and I never hear a kind word out of her mouth.
10/6/22
This morning as usual I was getting the kids dressed as I usually do. I usually just start dressing them while they are waking up and they usually do fine. OC i do not dress because he is older and will do it himself after he completely wakes up but he is also difficult to wake up. Yc does not do anything herself and she is the one I dress while waking up. She is usually chipper and happy afterwards. Wife came into the room and started berating me for not working with the kids to wake them up. They will not wake up this way with me. So I leave the room after essentially being told I don't know how to parent my kids. The kids were not crying or hurt in any way until the wife came into the room and yc instantly started crying. After they woke up I could not find my daughters shoes. I searched the house including the kids' bedrooms. I tell my wife who then as usual starts to berate me and then goes and looks for them. After a few minutes she finds them in the Oc room hidden beneath a pile of toys that they had made the previous night. Oc room is absolutely disgusting and piles of toys and blankets everywhere. How was I supposed to know to look under that specific pile? it would take a long time to sift through all of his crap. Wife then goes on a tangent about not getting any help cleaning the house, completely ignoring the number of times i have cleaned the house and his room and them messing it up within days of it being cleaned and her not helping to enforce them cleaning their own rooms. I go back to my yc because i usually brush her hair in the morning. She didn't want me to brush her hair and I told her mommy is busy and is already mad so please let me do it. She started crying and my wife instantly started asking what I did to her. Wife instead of telling yc to go back to me to brush her hair, told her to gather her brush and spray and she would do it after they got to school.
I just need her to back me up and stop instantly giving in to the kids every single time they start to get upset. I am afraid the precedent is already set and cannot be overcome easily and will never be overcome so long as she doesnt make it a team effort. It's just making both of our lives more difficult but she doesn't have a backbone when it comes to the kids.
10/21/22
Wife asked me to pay the gas card today so she could fill up. I messed up and had to reset the password. I updated the password on our google sheet and then texted her that i paid it, had to reset the password, and saved it on the google sheet drive. She came home and started to gripe at me for resetting the password and said that I probably didn't remember the password. I told her I saved it on the google sheet and she said that I should have told her that. When I said I did she got mad at me and told me that I didn't. I then reread the text that I sent her about it and she got even more upset because she had an excuse because she was busy. Then she started to tell me that I never believe her when she says that I didn't tell her things and only occasionally have proof that I am right. That statement makes no sense. If I have proof that something she accused me of is wrong, why am I supposed to believe her the other times when she was wrong this time? I feel like I am being gaslighted.
10/22/22
Wife had a state exam today. She has been really busy and studying for it for a month or so. She asked me to change the guinea pigs blanket and food. I agreed and did as she asked. Afterwards she got home and talked to ychild about the guinea pigs. The ychild told her about changing the pigs habitat i overheard her talking to ychild about how I don't take of them very often.
I didn't even want the guinea pigs. We are supposed to be saving up for ychild surgery and then she went and bought the guinea pigs because the ochild threw a fit about them. We spent over $100 on them on a whim essentially. When I was given an aquarium for free, I was told that I could only have it if I cared for it, that she would not do anything to help the fish/aquarium.
I feel like the same should hold true here. She/kids wanted them so they should have to take care of them but now i am being shamed to my ychild by my own wife because she has to take care of them.
10/24/22
Got woken up by my wife this morning because my alarm didn't go off (i forgot to turn it back on after turning it off on friday.) She started griping that now she had to get the kids ready then go and finish her things. I told her not to worry that I would get the kids dressed 1st before I took care of myself. She then angrily told me to just go to the bathroom and get ready, she would
deal with the kids, so I did. We found my ochild overdue library books in the floorboard of my car's backseat (must have fallen out of his backpack) the previous thursday. After we found them I put them in his backpack and later discovered they had taken them out and were leaving them strange places. I did this several times before I put them on top of the bookshelf so they don't get lost. This morning after the alarm fisco wife started griping at me because I didn't put the books in ochilds backpack. I started to explain where i put them and why i had done that. She didnt care she said it was stupid and for me to get off my high horse. I keep feeling there is no winning in this relationship, there is only pain. I decided to reread some of the early journal entries today and noticed some things and figured I would put them here. I am no longer stating where my wife sleeps and when I wake up alone because for almost a year I have slept in my bed alone and woken up alone. I am no longer stating what housework i do mostly because I always cook, do the dishes, and laundry.
10/30/22
Today is Halloween trunk or treats we will be going too. I have done 3 loads of laundry and put up the kids clothes that my wife has left on the chair and then moved to the bed that has sat unfolded for 2 weeks. I cooked supper last night,did the dishes today, and then mowed the lawn and pulled the weeds in the front and back yards.Afterwards i came inside and wife started griping at me because she assumes i wanted to take a shower after all the things I did and we only had 20 minutes before we left for the events. I decided to just change clothes and throw on some cologne. I sprayed one spritz and next time my wife came into the room she said I must have sprayed myself directly, she makes fun of me when I spray it in the air and walk through, and said she could smell me down the hall. She then started complaining about how she didnt even think about putting perfume on but now she couldn't because we would clash. I don't think she has ever complimented my cologne but she sure does like to complain about it. When we get to the church we had a decent time then came time to clean the pumpkins. Afterwards we went to clean our hands. We had left our buckets so i went back to get them while my wife and ychild went to wash up. Me and Ychild washed our hands as well. Afterwards we waiting outside the bathrooms to find them. I get a text asking if we were coming to get the pumpkins. They had gotten out before us,my wife was mad that I didnt come to the pumpkins instead of waiting outside the bathrooms. She started to gripe at me in public and I got upset with her, i didnt say anything but she knew i was upset from the look I gave her.
10/31/2022
Halloween night. Got home and discussed where to go for trick or treating. After getting in the car my wife almost instantly started getting on me about money, almost accusing me of hoarding money. I explained to her about keeping some money in case of an emergency but that just made her worse. I don't know what to do. I don't understand how we can be making this much money but have nothing to show for it. Last year around this time we were living solo off of my paycheck. She has been making 2k a month and then recently 3.5k a month net. She now brings home more money than I do and yet every check she demands my entire paycheck. How can 6.5k a month net us almost nothing in return. Something is wrong and I don't know what it is.
Nov 2022

11/1/2022
After being accused of squirreling away money last night, today I took out $400 out of my checking account and deposited it in our joint account. I also changed my direct deposit to put $100 into my account and the balance into our joint account. This left me with $60 to my sole name. I told my wife what I did. When she got home she didn't say anything. I had already cooked supper (in the oven) by the time they made it inside. When ochild asked what we were having and I told him (made from scratch chicken pot pie) he said he didn't like it and my wife said to him “I feel your pain.” It hurt. I cannot help but think what would have been had I said something similar to what she cooked (if she ever cooks again.) Children fell asleep shortly after supper. Wife spent the evening on her computer and phone (tik tok) while I did 2 loads of laundry right in front of her. She eventually left to go take a bath. It really doesn't feel very good to be completely unappreciated.
11/5/2022
Today we decided to clean the house.My wife spent literally the entire day cleaning ochilds room and didn't even finish because we went and unexpectedly visited my cousin. In the same amount of time. I cleaned the living room including the walls and vacuumed, swept and mopped the kitchen, hallways, doorway,and bathroom. Cleaned the bathroom and toilet, cleaned the washedryer area (absolutely disgusting) and cooked supper. While doing all of this my wife said something along the lines of it takes her so long because she deep cleans, implying I only superficially clean. I would rather have a superficially clean looking house than an obviously trashy, cluttered, disgusting house because she never has time to deep clean. I tried to put the kids to bed at 10:30 and they fought and argued. I eventually got them down but my wife was saying that they are allowed to stay up late on the weekends. Ridiculous that 10:30 is too early to put the kids to bed on a weekend.
11/6/2022
I woke up this morning after the time change and thought we were already late for church so I decided to make banana bread. Turns out I forgot about the time change and I had to stay home to make sure it didn't burn. After my wife got back home we decided to continue cleaning the house. My wife once again spent the rest of the day cleaning ochilds room. While I did the dishes and then completely cleaned the fronts of all the cabinets (disgusting caked on things) and cleaned inside out the fridge. I also did 4 loads of laundry later in front of the kids watching a movie and my wife while she was working on her computer. Wife actually said thank you for helping. Wasn't wanting a thank you. I just want her to stop saying I never help.
11/7/2022
After all the cleaning this weekend I woke up to a busy wife. She eventually got upset because I did the dishes but didn't wash her coffee cup that was sitting in the middle of the cluttered table where she put it and not in the sink. After work we ate at Sonic on the way to scouts. I made the kids go to bed at a decent hour but they refused to stay in bed. I eventually went to bed a little early and heard the kids bother their mother. I have no authority to make them go to bed because I cannot overrule their mommy like she can me.
11/8/2022
I tried to wake the kids up. I was not mean. Ochild kept crying that he wanted his mom to come wake him up. I told him she was busy but he insisted. She came in while i was dressing ychild. She got hm dressed and he went back to sleep while I brushed ychilds teeth and combed her hair. I caught ochild back in bed and told him to go brush his teeth. He got mad and started stomping his feet and slamming doors on his way to the bathroom. My wife,as usual,asked me what I had done. She just assumes that I piss off the kids on purpose, not that their lack of discipline is responsible for their poor behavior when I have done nothing wrong.
11/10/2022
Day started off not too terrible. My wife and kids came home a little late because they stopped at Walmart on the way home. The kids came in carrying sonic ice cream and “I mentioned oh nothing for me?” Wife looked annoyed that I said that and I said I was surprised she did that right before supper because now they aren't going to be hungry. We had leftovers a little while later when ychild said she was hungry, so I let her choose what dish she wanted to eat. She chose chicken enchilada casserole. I made it for her and let her sit on the couch while I made mine. When I came into the living room she was sitting next to my wife with the bowl on the couch and her phone on her lap. We have a rule that the bowl must be in her lap to reduce messiness because she is inattentive. I made her put her phone next to her and eat her food from the bowl in her lap. She started crying (I wasn't being mean) and I could tell my wife was getting annoyed because I made her cry (she hears crying all day long and doesn't want to hear it when she gets home.) She continued to cry and the wife went to the bathroom. I kept trying to convince her to eat and she was being difficult and wouldn't talk to me barely. I discovered that she didn't want to eat the green chiles so I moved them to the side of the bowl so she could eat the rest. She started screaming that she wanted mommy to do it. I told her mommy was in the bathroom and asked her again why she didn't want to eat. I eventually told her that if she didn't eat I was going to clean off a section of the table and she would eat in the kitchen with me. She still wouldn't stop crying or eat and I took her to the kitchen. The wife eventually came out of the bathroom and asked what all the commotion was and why was I getting on to ychild. When she saw her mother come into the kitchen she fell backwards out of the chair and hit the floor. The wife started berating me that ychild would not eat so long as she is crying and kept talking down to me about trying to take care of the situation. She said I shouldn’t have kept talking to her and just let her cry. Once again she has countermanded me in front of the children. I believe this is why ychild started crying so that mommy would get onto daddy and she would her her way. I eventually left the room because I couldn't stand her about me like that. Eventually they make it back into the living room. A few minutes later I noticed the dog was eating the food leftover from her bowl. I asked how she ate and my wife answered more than half and was upset that I asked. About 30 minutes later ychild said she was hungry again and my wife made her spaghettios. I dont think this is a good lesson to teach ychild. That she can just cry to get her way and then later eat whatever she wants.
11/11/2022
Today is veterans day and I had the day off work. I woke up to help get the kids ready. My wife said she was surprised I was up. I felt I had to because in the past she would always complain if on a day off I slept in. I heard her complain that her clothes were always put in a pile and were wrinkled. I stopped putting up her laundry a long time ago. I am still the only one that puts up laundry 9 out of 10 times. This is just proof of the pudding that she doesn't even put up her own laundry let alone help out with the household laundry. This is after watching me put up 4 loads of laundry in front of her the previous weekend. After she got home from work she asked me what I had done all day. This is something she used to do all the time when she worked a 9-5 job and I worked 4-10s having an extra day off a week. She used to demand that I spent my extra day cleaning the house and doing chores. This is despite the fact that we both still worked 40 hours a week, mine was just convenient in that I had more consecutive time off. She used to always say that if she had that much time off the house would be spotless. Then when she got layed off or got the summer off once she became a teacher nothing would be done, much less housework.
11/12/22
My wife spent all morning taking a test for school and then went and spent the day volunteering for a local church woman to sit with her while her husband was gone due to her just having had given birth. I had the kids all day to myself with minimal fussing and did the dishes and cooked supper. They started to fuss once she came back home. yChild began to uncontrollably cry and scream over some issue after I went to bed. I have learned from experience not to try and parent at night when my wife is in control from the number of times I've been snapped at that she is taking care of it, so I stayed in bed. She ended up calling her sister to deal with her and I heard her ask where I was and my wife gave her a sarcastic response about me being in bed. She later got the kids in bed with much fussing and came home back into the bedroom to change and bitched me out for not coming in there to help. It's another case of damned if you do and damned if you don't.
11/13
My wife spent the morning again taking a test. I got the kids up and dressed and fed. She then came home from the test, ate lunch, and headed back to her school at around 11:30. Ychild wanted to go with her. I spent all day with my son watching our favorite anime. It was a fun day. I also did 3 loads of laundry and cooked supper for us. My wife and ychild did not get home till 11:00 pm and ychild has surgery tomorrow.
11/14
Ychild’s surgery went well. No issues other than a lethargic child.
11/15
ychild refuses to take her pain medicine from the surgery. My wife suggested she take the medicine with her and get her to take it while waiting for school to start. ychild ended up staying in my wifes classroom all day sleeping and developed a rash where the tube was put in. I stayed a little later than I normally would and got home around 4:45. My wife was already home and I walked into the kitchen and saw that the dishes were done. I had told my wife I would do them later today. I talked to her and asked her how long she had been home to already have done the dishes cause she usually gets home after 5. She told me it only took 15 minutes to do the dishes and she didn't understand why it takes me hours(it doesn't take me that long.). I then realized that what I thought was a nice gesture was just another way for her to put me down. Later she started telling me about ychild’s day and started to talk about how she should have stayed home. She started to berate me for not taking the day off and staying with her. I told her we had talked about it but had decided to try for school anyway. I guess I am supposed to overrule her, that will never happen, or volunteer to stay instead of having a healthy discussion and decision, she just blames me for everything that ends up not going the way she decides.
11/16/22
I worked from home today to stay with ychild.
11/23/22
It's my birthday today. Heard from some family and friends. Arrived at inlaws house for Thanksgiving. I decided to, without being asked, help trim trees and clean up the pasture. Mil and fil praised me in front of my wife, that wasn't my intention.
11/24/22
Thanksgiving day. My wife has made several comments today about me sitting around not doing anything. It has rained the whole day and there is literally nothing for me to do. We were watching McClintock today. It came to the end where John Wayne spanked his wife and my wife asked if they really did that back then. I commented probably not they most likely did a lot worse, she made a comment about being sure because I lived back then. Once again I forgot to just keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself.
11/26/22
It's official. One year without sex. Today we drive back home from the in-laws. Today has been a constant barrage of bs from my wife. Fortunately my in-laws heard some of it. My SIL told me she was sorry.
Next Entry Dec 2022

So I (17M) have locked my eyes on this one girl (15) at school, and I don’t know what to to about it.
First time I saw her was about a year ago, give or take, and I was just like “huh she’s cute”. But as time has passed I just like her more and more, the more I saw her the more I liked her, every day. And I don’t really know her at all since we are not friends, but I just love how she looks, how she dresses, how she moves (body language), how she talks, how she laughs, even the little bit I know of the music she likes I love, and everything in between.
The first time I talked to her, and one of the only times, was at the beginning of this year when we shared a class (PE class), everybody introduced themselves, and during class we talked a bit, a normal “what do you like” short conversation. In the next class as I arrived she waved hi at me, we talked very briefly. The teacher made us play basketball, and we were the only ones who didn’t wanted to play and stayed off the field, we were in the opposites sides so we’re not next to each other. Eventually she was changed from my group of the class.
And that’s basically it, a few encounters here and there, at the hallway, at the cafeteria, but not really socialising. I see her every day and feel nervous every time I walk next to her, and I never say anything. She is always with some one or with her group of friends, her class is right in front of mine so I always walk in front of it. I pretty much have no friends at the school but I’m not a weirdo.
I need help in how to start on actively talking to her, how to approach her, keeping in mind that we have walked past each other so much and never say a word to each other. I want to also imply that I like her, but not to come of as weird, loser, nor creepy.
I’m honestly kinda worried that she might think wrong of me, since sometimes I stare at her too much. I’m currently trying to control that. Personally It would be a little easier to talk to her if she was alone, but she never is, the only times she is, is when she walks to her next class, or like to the bathroom, something like that, but I don’t want to interrupt. Even if I said screw it and walked up to her, I don’t know what to say, like… WHAT DO I SAY!? WHAT DO I DO?!?
We both play guitar, she knows it, and she has brought her’s at school a couple times, but I have not approached to her when she does. Like I already said she is always with some one or in a group, talking.
To be honest I’m fine if we never go anywhere romantically, but I just need to talk to her, hang out with her, at least, at least have that.

My brother is getting married soon and I am making a veil for the bride. As het wedding dress is very classy/elegant and it is a forest wedding I want to bring a bit more detail into the veil.
I want to put little embroidered flowers/butterflies on the edges, but the amount would take forever. I have been looking at appliques, but only find big ones or some that don't fit the vibe.
Does anyone know any quick tips or tricks, even if it is made of ribbon or something else?
She is all for the idea and I really want to do something she would be crazy about.

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Consider the Bag Type
Laptop bags come in various types, each with its unique features and advantages. Consider the following options:
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The primary purpose of a laptop bag is to protect your device from bumps, scratches, and impacts. Consider the following protective features:
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Assess Storage and Organization
Apart from accommodating your laptop, a good laptop bag should have sufficient storage for accessories and other essentials. Look for the following features:
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Conclusion
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I personally really like it. As someone who has stuggled with depression, I think it portrays feeling hopeless SO WELL. The family’s empty days, the house being a disaster, Amelia sitting in the bath with her dress still on, she’s becoming irrational and desperate in a totally realistic way. An outside observer would see the whole thing as a situation of a grieving, mentally ill mother. And Sam is a realistic child. He’s not some wiz kid knows whats going on boy. He’s just six years old and he acts how a six year old would (apart from the end :/), he’s scared and genuinely wants his mom to be happy. The way he reacts when he traps Amelia in the basement is just so sad tbh. The lack of color in every scene is also amazing. Even at Ruby’s party which is supposed to be princess themed, the only color comes from the presents that no one cares about, the gray dinner scenes, the tv glare, everything. ITS SO GOOOOOD! Idk if other pll feel the same though so what are you guys’ thoughts on it?

I’m rewatching dance moms and i’m being reminded on my problems with Cathy. She’s a major hypocrite, it’s okay for her and her moms to do things but not Abby’s. for example she can go in abby’s dressing room and gloat if they win but if Abby does the same she gets pissed. i just watched an episode where Abby was recording (on public property) Cathy after she barged in their dressing rooms and she got mad at her, but later Jill went to film Cathy being in her personal space and Cathy snatched her phone, one of Cathy’s moms started filming though. My point is that if you expect a certain type of behavior you shouldn’t be acting that way either. She’s so irritating.

Where are my teens & kids who spent the summers on the run with Luke & Laura?
Some of you may have seen recently that Jackie Zeman (Bobbie Spencer) passed away earlier this month at the age of 70. She played the role of GH RN, former hooker with a heart of gold, land lady, and Luke's baby sister for 45 years. She had been a near constant in my life, so her loss sent me to YouTube in search of old GH clips and episodes.
TLDR: I watched a lot of old GH.
I found a goldmine in youtuber Sussezq who has playlists beginning when Bobbie calls her brother Luke Spencer to Port Charles to help break up Laura Webber and Scott Baldwin (1979), Laura's marriage to Scott and Luke's rape of Laura at the Campus Disco and then their summer on the run hiding from mobsters (1980), and their Ice Princess caper with Robert Scorpio and their Nov wedding with 30 million viewers (1981).
I was 9-11 during the Luke and Laura heyday. Some things I didn't remember, didn't get at the time, or just didn't get to see due to school and not having a VCR until 1984. I've watched from Luke & Laura's first meeting to their honeymoon, and here are my Gen-Xey thoughts:
The Good

• The writing is much better than you think it's going to be. Gloria Monty was the showrunner at the time, and she turned a failing hospital daytime drama into the biggest daytime soap on the planet.
• Tony Geary (Luke) was just absolutely incredible as Luke Spencer. Smart, witty, and quick with ad-libs, he was also the little black dress of the show and had chemistry with everyone. He pulled better performances out of so-so actors, generously propped up lackluster actors, and allowed good actors to shine. He took Genie Francis under his wing and elevated her performance.
• Found Family is a more modern concept in media but soap operas have been creating families via long-lost children, paternity confusion, friends, step-parents, etc for decades. Luke has a less "traditionally" familial structure than Laura: his mother died due lack of health care, and his father abandoned them. Luke and his sister Bobbie grew up on the streets, with occasional help from his Aunt Ruby who then a brothel madam. By the time Luke has been back in Port Charles for a few months, Tony (Luke), Jackie (Bobbie), and Norma (Ruby) have built chemistry and loyalty into a "us against the world" bond that is impressive now, much less in the early 80s. Laura's family, while more traditional in structure, is also new: Laura was switched at birth and doesn't find out Dr. Leslie Webber is her birth mom until she's a teen. Leslie is married to Dr. Rick Webber, who is not Laura's bio father, and Laura has been raised with her sister Amy who is actually her sister via adoption. By 1980 you'd never know Rick and Leslie didn't raise Laura.
• The adventures are fun, cheesy, and fairly fast paced for a soap opera.
• The show often manages to tie Luke & Laura's adventures back to the hospital, or at least its doctors and nurses.
• The Campus Disco is both hilarious (why is it a college campus disco???) and amazing. The music is a weird muzak version of "Call Me" and "Ring My Bell," though.
• The fashions are glorious. I hated 70s fashions in the 80s, but they're incredibly forward now, seeing them as an adult. Luke often wears an amazing pair of pink Guess Jeans that I would kill for.
• Brian and Claudia are a hot, smart Black couple who are getting college degrees when we meet them, and they're both great friends to Laura and Scott (and later Luke). There's no racist subtext in their speech, clothing, jobs, and relationship. (But see me in the Bad Section later.)
• Richard Simmons (as himself) gives exercise classes as part of his Live-It (as opposed to diet) program. He's also -- and this amazing -- one of Luke's groomsmen for his failed wedding to Jennifer Smith! He shows up again to welcome Luke and Laura home after the Frank Smith / Left Handed Boy adventure, and then he just sort of fades away.
• Two henchmen chase after Luke and Laura during their summer on the run. "Hutch" Hutchinson is blond, gorgeous, and, like Tony Geary, appears to think he's acting on bigger show than he's on. His chemistry with Luke and Laura is amazing, and the three of them become great friends (this friendship triangle will later be replicated with Robert Scorpio). Sally Armitage, a bar owner in upstate New York for whom Hutch, Laura, and Luke work, turns out not only to be one of Frank Smith's hired guns, but also a man named Max Hedges in drag as Sally. I have so many questions! It's never explained why Max is Sally. It doesn't appear that he's trans (or transsexual as it was called then) and actually living as a woman, because we seem him as Max and he often uses his "Max voice" to talk to Frank Smith. Is he in drag to better disguise himself and make Luke & Laura more trusting of him? Or is the character merely a transvestite who just enjoys dressing as a woman at times? I DON'T KNOW! But it's fascinating, and treated with astounding respect in 1980 (despite Sally being a bad guy).
• The Ice Princess freezing plot is straight out of James Bond, but there are layers to it -- the discussions of the haves and have nots are especially poignant when Luke recounts his and and Bobbie's childhoods.
• The wedding of the century was phenomenal. I hated the bridesmaid dresses at the time (I still don't like mauve or hats), the antique cars and the outdoors setting, and all of the country decor from Luke and Laura's time hiding out on Whittaker's Farm is lovely, with a with a plotluck meal from the residents of Port Charles (including caviar and Oysters Rockefeller from the Quartermaines).
• Robert Xavier Scorpio. Hot dude, great accent, great actor, stellar chemistry with Luke.
• Rick Springfield is freaking fine as Dr. Noah Drake. Just as fine as I remember from 1981 when I bought "Working Class Dog."

The Bad

• It's not even going to start with the rape. Shocker, I know. Rick and Leslie Webber and Gail and Lee Baldwin were okay with Laura at 17 marrying Scotty who had to be at least 23 (he was in law school). I grew up in a rural town in Oklahoma. It was extremely typical for girls to get married right out of high school where and when I grew up, and often to slightly older men in their 20s who were "settled." But those were poor people who had been raised to believe they had very few educational opportunities. Laura is the child of two MDs. Worse, Genie Francis actually was 17 and some of the things she went through were so not okay.
• Laura gets a job serving alcohol at the Disco when was 17. The drinking age in New York was 18 in 1979, so that was probably legal. Just weird if you're me.
• Laura is incredibly infantilized by Scott and her parents. It's kinda gross.
• The rape. It's so much worse than you remember. Luke comes to town to break up Laura and Scott (for Bobbie), fails, and then falls for high school senior Laura (they don't ever give Luke's actual age, but I think it's supposed to be around 25; Tony Geary was actually 32 in 1979). He even takes pictures of her in her cheerleading uniform (which Luke cops to still having a year later). When she is almost 18 and married to Scott, Luke pulls her onto the dance floor at the Campus Disco after hours and forces her to dance to Herb Alpert's "Rise." He kisses her despite her protests, and then drags her to the floor and rapes her while she is saying, "No." There's no ambiguity. Even a "what about" guy would struggle because Laura is 17, Luke's employee, and shell-fucking-shocked when it's over. She escapes to the park and later reports the rape, but doesn't reveal she knew her attacker. She accuses Luke of the rape to his face, and he doesn't deny it. Despite the fact that he is torn up about it, he raped her. She still keeps working at the disco, and she doesn't tell Scott, and she displays PTSD, but she still keeps helping Luke with his mob problems. The chemistry between Luke and Laura was such that the show ran with it. Tony was an incredible actor nd he brought out a strength in Laura we hadn't see before. So they have Laura punish Luke emotionally, but she doesn't turn him in, and she doesn't cut him out of her life. Before his abortive wedding to Jennifer, she writes him a letter where she forgives him (which Scott finds, ending their marriage). Once on the run, she "admits" to Luke that it wasn't rape, that she wanted it too, but was just too ashamed of her feelings for him and didn't want to break her marriage vows and be ashamed in front of her family and friends. The gross "seduction-rape" trope was huge in the 80s. Good girls could not be seen actively seeking sex, so they were often "taken against their will." It played out in real life, too, with several women my age not knowing they were raped because "they put themselves in a room alone with him" or "they should have fought harder." Several of my friends wouldn't use birth control, because that meant you had planned to have sex, rather than it be something that happened to you.
• Of all the grossness that surrounds the Luke & Laura rape, the worst is her apology to him that they made love, rather than that he raped her.
• Too much reliance on "kooky" characters like Slick Jones and Emma Lutz. While Slick isn't bad, Emma is really a single punchline (she's "trashy hot"! Ha ha! So funny!). Tony was so good at being "wacky" as Luke that they wanted to build on that. Unfortunately not every character actor is Tony.
• Brian and Claudia are attractive, smart, witty, fun, loving, loyal, and fit into Port Charles society seamlessly. They also don't have a single storyline that isn't supporting to someone else (at least between 1979-1981). Can a Black man get some amnesia or hysterical blindness???
• It's hilarious that Luke goes to Dan Rooney, the hospital administrator, for international banking intel about the Quartermaines, Cassadines, and Robert Scorpio. Oh, we get a line of dialogue about how he used to work for movers and shakers, but it's still amusing. One of my best friends is the CFO for a local small credit union. Imma hit her up about Musk and Soros.
• Laura is not only sacrificed on the purity altar, she's also dragged across the coals for getting a divorce. Since Laura's soon-to-be-ex father-in-law Lee Baldwin is apparently the only attorney in town, she must turn to his associate, Joe Kelly (who graduates law school in like 6 months) to get her divorce from Scott. Quick Mexican divorces were de rigueur on 80s TV, so off Laura heads to Juarez. Lee tears up the divorce decree in a drunken rage, and Luke confronts him about it. Lee is later apologetic, and explains it as "what a dad gotta do," but latter adds that it was also due to the mores of his generation. The mores of his generation?! Lee might be Greatest Gen, but his General Hospital CV will tell you that:

1. He's a recovering alcoholic with anger issues
2. He's the biological father of Rick Webber's younger brother Jeff who was conceived via infidelity between Lee and Helene Webber
3. He was totes fine with college grad Scott marrying a literal high school senior!

Yeah. Lee should sit this one out.
The Ugly
In a 2022 interview with Oprah's "Where Are They Now," Genie Francis explained the following about why she left General Hospital in early 1982 at the height of Luke & Laura's popularity:

"I was very young. I was only 19. I was having trouble with drugs and alcohol," she said. After spending a night in the hospital, she was told she had to return to work the next day. Then someone came to her dressing room to inform her what had been said about her on set. "They said it didn't matter if you lived or died because Tony was the whole show," the person told her. "That hurt," the actress added. Feeling that she didn't matter to the show and that she was considered "nothing," Francis thought, "Okay, watch this. I'm gone," and in a moment of anger, she quit "GH." She admitted the decision was rather hot-headed, saying, "I went a long distance to prove a point. A very long distance," acknowledging that her actions hurt herself as well.

Read More: https://www.nickiswift.com/1105223/the-heartbreaking-reason-genie-francis-left-general-hospital-at-the-height-of-luke-and-lauras-fame/
Despite the bad and the ugly of it all, the show meant A LOT to me between 9 and 25 or so, and Luke & Laura were probably my first fandom. It was amusing and sometimes surreal to relive it all again.

I live in an apartment, I just let them live in my apartment now. I got them to stop eating my shit and give them eat scraps instead(veggies). Took a lot of work to get them stop them shitting on my carpet but my scolding of them and constant "cleaning" of the carpet has subsided.
Anyways, they see my hatred of the dogs constantly barking, waking me from my sleep and especially when my smoke, they started dive bombing the neighbors walking their dogs. Vibe sorta became a parriah to the locals and have been directly contacted and confronted by the Corp that runs the place. I've scolded them but they seem to feel my anger against my neighbors and the maintenance that piss me off.
While I enjoy their loyalty and care about me, this shit can get me ejected from my apartment.
Yes I live with crows inside my apartment, think it's two murders that formed into one but I'm ignorant how their behavior is. Bi guesstimate probably 20-30. Bi only know Fred as he rides and sits on my shoulder when I go for my walks.
Obviously they don't speak English but I'm trying so hard at this point trying to telling them to behave. Obviously human standards are foreign to my murder(s).
Sorry to rant but this is sorta esscalationg

This is probably one of the dumbest questions on here, and I want to put a disclaimer that this is likely a product of normal teenage insecurity and questioning!!
Now to get to the root of the issue; is it normal to wish you were born a man if you are afab??
Whenever I think about myself in like another universe or like a fantasy setting (which is quite often, I’m kind of a day dreamer) I usually have a scenario where I’m just like suddenly a man or I can like shape-shift into one and I’m just so much happier??
For some unexplainable reason I feel like being a man would make me more attractive, confident— I’d finally be able to sing songs in the way I want them to sound (I’m a song-writer and I’ve always wished to have a males voice), or build muscle and be able to protect myself (and be hot) In that way. Honestly, the thought of even being completely androgynous gives a similar feeling, like I just genuinely think I’d be happier.
It’s embarrassing to admit but I’ve always wanted shorter more masculine hair, and I’ve definitely tried to make myself look more masculine with makeup before.
However, I don’t experience extreme gender dysphoria (and in some instances I am glad to be a woman and I appreciate all the parts) but there are definitely other times where I wish I was just biologically a man, with a man’s body and name and all that. Furthermore I do like being publicly perceived as an attractive woman, and I like dresses, skirts, fishnets, etc. I also love wearing more masculine clothing like suits and sports jackets too though?!
Even if I did come to the realization that I am transgender (AFAB Male or non-binary or a Demi-girl or what not) I’m not sure if I could ever transition because I am 5’1 with a feminine figure, and while my facial features are kind of like my dads, I genuinely don’t think it’s possible for me to look masculine or androgynous in the slightest. Furthermore, I have a boyfriend who I actually really like (we just started dating) who is straight and my family is pretty transphobic, so I’m wondering if even digging into this can of worms is a good idea because it could have catastrophic events on my life.
TL;DR: afab is wondering if it's normal to wish they were born a man. They often imagine scenarios where they are a man and feel happier, more confident, and able to express themselves better. They also have some desire for a more masculine appearance/voice. While they don't experience extreme gender dysphoria, they sometimes wish they were biologically male. They enjoy being perceived as an attractive woman but also like wearing masculine clothing. They are unsure about transitioning due to their physical appearance, their straight boyfriend, and their transphobic family, which could have significant consequences on their life.