So two or three years ago my dad went to prison and his pitbull was going to go to a shelter and my mom and I felt bad so we decided to take her in because we were worried about her being euthanized. After about a year the novelty wore off and my mom wanted to get rid of her (she does this chronically) but I was adamant about keeping her out of a shelter so we kept her, but she said she wasn’t going to interact with her or help take care of her. Long story short I’m a full time student and work full time. I’m routinely out of the house for 15-16 hours per day between class and work and she isn’t getting the attention or exercise she needs. I was able to keep up with it for awhile but after school and work I don’t have the time or energy to give her the long walks she needs. Because of this she’s constantly extremely hyper and my mom is going to take her to a shelter in a week if I’m unable to find her a new home. I don’t know anybody personally who’s willing to take her and I’m very scared of what would happen to her in a shelter and I’m wary of giving her to some random person because I feel like people often want pit bulls for not great reasons. If anyone knows of any resources in the Cincinnati area (or even Kentucky/Ohio) that could help me connect her with a new home or foster situation it would be greatly appreciated.
TLDR; If anyone knows of resources for rehoming a pitbull quickly in the Cincinnati/Ohio/kentucky area please send them my way.

If you don't follow the trends in pit bull lobby propaganda, you should! Recently, one of the major pit bull advocates started forwarding their new lies of "pit bulls are only BELIEVED to have descended from Bull and terriers" and that "pit bulls are ALL mixed-breed dogs".
The lobby is shucking the idea that pit bulls may have originated from American Pit Bull Terriers and their offshoot breeds, but have been bred so many generations since the outlawing of dog fights that these breeds have no current similarity with those fighting dogs.
My guess is that the pit-lobby has been foiled with their fake science papers that allege that pit bull behavior isn't heritable, and those that allege no one can identify a pit bull by sight. These lies are failing, so the pit-lobby must come up with new ones.
The other recent development is their buckling down on the idea that pit bulls and racism (against Black Americans) are related. That argument has failed because we see too many white people, young white women especially, advocating for pit bulls and owning them (often walking them at the end of a strained leash, if not altogether broken loose from their 90# handler). The pit-lobby is trying to push a 'paper' by Ann Linder as their proof that discriminating against pit bulls in housing is the same thing as discriminating against African Americans in housing (which is forbidden by housing laws), but in the same paper Linder cites Pew Research results ( Profile of Pet Owners, Pew Research Center ) which contradict Linder's results.
Pew shows that white people have dogs more than twice as often as black people (45% versus 20%), that dog ownership goes UP as the income bracket goes UP (29% at lowest income bracket, 50% at highest income), and dog ownership goes UP the further away from urban centers (urban 21%, suburban 39%, rural 51%).
Linder, and the pit bull lobby, would have you believe that pit bulls are associated with "poor young black urban males", which is the furthest from actual research results.
Linder's paper, which is full of some of the worst racism lines I've read in a long time, tries to argue that because "surveyed people perceive" pit bulls are most likely owned by young black urban males, that discriminating against pit bulls in housing (rental applications) means that apartment building managers who prohibit pit bulls are in fact doing so in order to discriminate against the poor and black communities, which -- Linder argues -- points to violating the Fair Housing Act.
This, of course, is bullshit.
Linder's paper isn't the first I've seen about pits and racism. The pit-lobby has also been pushing the idea that BSL was invented specifically to exclude black people from whole areas. More invented propaganda.
But follow the trends we must. One of the ways to see "what's new" is to follow the changes the pit-advocates make to the Wikipedia pit bull page. All new published items which forward their agenda show up there.
And you can discover who the pit-advocates are by following their arguments about that Wikipedia page.
* Ann Linder's paper is called "The Black Man's Dog: The Social Context of Breed Specific Legislation"

I created a new reddit account for the purposes of typing down my thoughts; I didn't realize how much journaling actually doe's for me. If I don't write it down it just continues to build up; It takes me a while to release these thoughts. On the other topic, I created another reddit account as the last one had stalkers on it... I hope it doesn't happen again. Of course I don't need to type my every thought on here, but it feels good to press that post button and send them away; like I'm talking to a pen pal.
I feel very lonely. I made some online friends by pure chance. I first met the two of them back in october 2022. I felt this pit in my chest that needed filling. I usually don't join v.c's on discord after entering random servers, but I was desperate and thought: "What's the worst that can happen,I can just log off". I am so very glad I did this. We still text each other! On one hand it brings me so much joy to be around people that accept me and have similar interests; On the other hand, I Think about them all the time and get all sorts of strange thoughts and strenous emotions, that sometimes drives me to faint nausea.
I often think about deleting all my social media and starting over, as having online friends often doesn't fully satisfy me. I still feel alone. I felt less alone, when I had no-one; What a paradox! I can't actually touch them, walk along side them, feel safe by them. There is a limited experience when it comes to online relationships. I feel like I'm starting to slip and lose my hold on people; I feel our boats slowly drift apart. Ocassionaly there may be a change in wind and sail; and we drift slightly closer. Although to stay close required a prolonged effort and this attraction need's to be willed. One
of my friends seem to have always kept a distance. I wish to get closer, But I am horrible at social interactions and rack my brain trying to think of what to say to them and how to carry on the conversation. On the verge of metal breakdown I started texting everyone; I first started to attempt conversations on discord servers, but it was in vain, I couldn't get anything going. I have no word's left, no more quips, I am trying to find someone to talk to even if I am completely interested in them and it shows. My attempts at making new "friends" went horribly. I think I just wanted to feel validated; Or perhaps I trying to ignite new friendships as I feel my current ones are at a certain cross roads. I could attempt to grow the relationships, But I feel as if they don't like me, I always feel like this, and want to give up.
I texted all three of my whatsapp friends today also, I am so desperate for something. I was thinking a moment ago that they must hate me, and I mean nothing to them, That I am a horrible person, with an awful personality. I still can't get this idea out of head, that everyone else must hate me. Could it be possible that it's true? I don't think so, but my relationships at work are on the verge of telling me otherwise.
One thing that has always irked me with life, Is that we have to move on, changes have to be made, whether you like it or not. My original defence against this inevitable tide, is to give up early, to ignore people and delete my accounts once I start to like them. This way I feel like I can't get caught up in that feeling, that everything will be gone, and all that will be left are memories. I understand it's stupid, but sabotage is how I have dealt with it for a long time, and not much has changed; I still get urges to ghost everyone and start over; Because how much I love people, and I never want them to leave me! I am not jesus, I get tired of people sometimes, and this makes me feel disappointed as... I'm not entirely sure, what I actually feel.
Let me try to understand it. I Sometimes open my whatsapp, or discord; look at some people who I haven't talked to in a while and I feel some sort of sadness, or disappointment. I would love to be their friend! But maybe it's not meant to be? No, this isn't what I feel, I don't understand it. I am in perplexion. That isn't the correct feeling. Again, it could be described as some sort of emptiness. Perhaps it's disappointment in a relationship never fully realized; I wish for beautiful relationships! I my self don't know what it means. I would like to be really close to someone. How do I go about doing this? How do I attract people? I am attracted to people, but no-one is ever attracted to me?
Why is no-one attracted to me? Of course it must be my personality. I'm not sure what I am, and I'm sure other's don't either. More internal reflection is required. I feel like I'm just drifiting through life, clueless of what lies dormant. Of course I do have some core principles and vapid ideologies. When I ask myself the question: "What reason is there for me to live, I often think, "none, but as long as I'm here I will try and do some good". This would be the reason for attempting veganism; Hopefully one day I will be able to commit fully to it. I am also an antinatlist, and against consumerism as people are ofetn exploited In industries required by capitalism.
I try and be nice to people, but, I am terrible at being compassionate, A part of me just won't let me. I often act very coldly as another defence mechanism, It's a behaviour I learned a long time ago and admittely it has lowered the quality of my life greatly. I want to bloom! But how? How do I become this other person? Should I experience this mostly alone, or surround myself with people I love? In which way do I develop? Thre is this tendancy to fall back into though patterns that have prevades most of my life: self-loathing, general negative thoughts about the world, and suicidal ideation. I think about suicide alot; and have been for atleast a decade. I just feel like I can't get along with people, as it I am some sort of alien. I also often think about, as previously stated, my purpose for existence; There really isn't one thing I would like to dedicate my life too. And thinking about spending chunks of my life focus on a certain field fills me with dread, knowing how many more things there are to experience!
I really struggle with living, but I get up again, and again; Drag myself through these motions, and rituals. I fear death, I can't kill myself. I would tell myself that I believe it will get better somewhere around the corner; I don't believe that. What I am doing right now isn't living. Again I am filled with a profound sense of emptiness. It always come's back to this dreaded emptiness.
I felt like I could write another 10 paragraphs, but i've had enough for now.

I was in chimney canopy, in this long shaft room that gets you from ground to high level. For some reason I decide to mess with a white lizard but get killed in the process. I go back to that area to see another white lizard and begin throwing stuff at it to make it fall. Another lizard in the area cut me off and ran after me at an alarming pace. I tried backflip jumping over him and he whipped around and caught me at a very alarming and frightening speed and started flinging me around in its jaws like a dog. I went back and proceeded to commit lizard genocide (on all lizards) and got ambushed by a white lizard. This time i got a culture mask from a scuffle with a vulture and proceeded to terrorize the lizard with it. I stabbed it with a spear and watched as it tried to climb back and up out of my reach. I hit it with rocks and watched as it tried to climb on a pole wich was directly over a death pit and it didn’t have the strength and it fell into the hole. Every time I see a white lizard now, I make sure to get in the last laugh.

Written by Vincent O’Sullivan and first published in January 1916; translated to modern English, otherwise left exactly the same.
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[Introduction]
One night— during my last voyage across the Atlantic— someone mentioned that we were passing over the spot where the Lusitania went down. Whether or not this was true, the thought alone was enough to dampen the mood and begin a serious discussion regarding the emotional state of the passengers when they realized they were sinking. From there, the conversation turned to the fate of those who drowned, (after all, they were the fortunate ones) and tales of the survivors.
A Scottish lady asked if their ghosts ever appeared on passing ships and if there was a risk of seeing one should the light in her cabin go out. This put an end to everyone’s seriousness, and most of us laughed— all except for a short, tight-faced man whose expression was bleak and gray. The lady noticed this and appealed to him for support.
“Do you also believe in ghosts?” She asked lightly.
He hesitated, thinking it over before replying. “In ghosts? N-no, I don’t; I’ve never seen one… Have any of you?”
No one replied. Instead, most of us laughed again— only a little uneasily this time— and the man continued. “All the same— even if you discount the existence of ghosts— life is filled with strange happenings that just can’t be explained. You try to laugh them off until you experience something big enough to truly shock you, and then you stop laughing entirely… It’s like being thrown out of a car—”
The man’s words were cut off by the blast of the ship’s whistle, and everyone rushed up to the deck, but we had only entered a fogbelt. I ended up smoking a cigar and walking the upper deck with the bleak man who soon returned to the topic of our dinner conversation; it was clear that our laughter had bothered him.
“Life is filled with so many strange things... You can laugh at faith-healing, dreams, and all of that until something unexplainable happens. Then, you have to throw your hands up and admit that you don’t have an answer. I’m as logical as any man here, but I’ve experienced such a situation. It doesn’t matter whether or not other people believe it— it happened. I can’t doubt it any more than I could doubt having a tooth pulled. If you will sit in this corner with me— out of the wind— I’ll tell you about it…”
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[The Burned House]
Some years ago, I had to be in Northern England for several months while I appeared before the courts. The trial itself is irrelevant, and I’ve forgotten most of the details anyway, but it was a long and worrisome case that added twenty years to my age. All of my time in that grimy Manchester courtroom was spent thinking of a fresh little place in the Lake District and how I would go there if the trial went well; it was the only thing that helped pass the hours.
The morning after I was acquitted, I boarded the north-bound train. It was early autumn, so— by the time I arrived— the sun had already set, and it was cold. The village was dark and deserted; they don’t go out at night anyway, but the strong mountain wind was enough to deter anyone who might try.
The hotel was not modernized like the great ones in the city. Instead, it was a real old-fashioned tavern— one of the most uncomfortable places on earth. They show you that traveling is like being in prison— that home is the best place for you— both morally and physically. The landlord brought me supper with a hat on his head and a pipe in his mouth. The room was chilly, but when I asked for a fire, he said he couldn’t go to the woodshed until morning. There was nothing else to do after I ate, so I went outside to escape the smell and warm myself with a short walk.
Being unfamiliar with the area, I didn’t mean to go far, but it was an overcast night with high winds and occasional rain flurries. Even with the moon concealed behind the clouds, it lit the night well enough to see a good distance ahead, so I continued walking until I was in a lonely, isolated region. Large trees and shrubs lined the road, and there was a mountain stream several feet below. The wind blowing through the high trees combined with the racing water sounded like a crowd of people. Sometimes the tree branches became so thick, it was like walking through a black pit, but then I would return to the gray countryside.
I had been walking for about 45 minutes when I came to a fork in the road. One side led downward— almost reaching the stream below— and the one I decided to follow ascended a steep hill. I climbed for more than half a mile fully aware of how lost I would be should I lose track of a landmark. Then the path curved and came out onto a broad plateau, where— to my astonishment— I saw a house.
It was three-storeys high with a verandah around two sides, and it overlooked a far stretch of the country. There were a few large trees nearby and a clump of bushes behind it, but the home seemed lonely with all four sides so vulnerable to the wind. Regardless, I was glad to know there were people who could give me directions if I became lost… Except— once I got closer— I found that it was uninhabited. All the shutters were closed, and there wasn’t a flicker of light to be seen.
There was something sinister and barren about it that made me shiver. It was the same feeling as if one were to consider jumping into the black waters of the stream below. It’s not an entirely unpleasant feeling— it makes one appreciate their current safety that much more. I wasn’t really frightened. I was alone— miles from any help and at the mercy of anyone who might be lurking behind those sullen shutters— but I knew that I was most likely safe. My hesitation was due to the wild scenery’s effect on my nerves along with the unexpected discovery of such a lonely house.
Instead of continuing along the road, I walked roughly 250 yards through the grass until coming to a stone wall where I rested and surveyed the scene. A strange light lingered atop the far away hills— like the first touch of dawn on a rainy morning or the last glimpse of twilight before the night comes. Between myself and the hills was a wide stretch of open country with an apple orchard to my right. A set of steps had been made in the wall of piled stones so the residents could go back and forth.
After standing there for a considerable time, I noticed a man coming towards me from the orchard. He was a tall, skinny fellow with a clean shaven face, and he wore a cowboy hat with a woolen shirt and rubber boots. He walked with a good stride and appeared to be between 25 and 30. As he began crossing over the stone wall, I wished him a neighborly goodnight, but he made no reply. Instead, he looked right at me, and his expression made me uneasy. He didn’t have an evil face— in fact it was a handsome, serious face— but it was ravaged by something terrible. It had the look of stealth, ruthlessness, and a deadly resolution… Yet he also held the appearance of a man driven by some uncontrollable power— a man asking for comprehension and mercy. It was impossible to resent his rudeness; his thoughts were so obviously elsewhere that I doubt he even saw me.
He had only passed by a few seconds ago when I turned to look for him, but he’d disappeared. Even if he’d sprinted, he couldn’t have gotten inside so quickly, but I like to attribute things I don’t understand to natural causes that I’ve merely failed to observe. Surely the man went back into the orchard or some other opening farther down… Or maybe the distorted light was playing tricks on my eyes… Either way, that’s when I noticed lights appearing behind the house’s shutters; they were flickering— going from bright to dim— and glowing like a fire. It didn’t take long to become convinced that’s exactly what it was; the house was on fire!
Black smoke billowed from the roof while red sparks flew in the wind. Suddenly, a pair of shutters were thrown open above the verandah, and I heard a woman scream. I ran towards the house as fast as I could until I could see her clearly.
She was young, and her long hair fell in disarray over a white nightgown. She stretched out her bare arms, screaming, and then a man grabbed her from behind, but they were trapped. The flames were licking around the windows, and the smoke was killing them as the house began to cave in over where they stood. Appalled by the horrible tragedy, I moved even closer; if the two could make their way to the side without the verandah— they could jump, and I could try to break their fall.
I shouted this plan to them, but— as I came right up to the flames— I noticed something astonishing… The fire wasn’t producing any heat! Truly— I was standing close enough to be burned, yet I felt no heat whatsoever! The sparks flew all around my head— some even landed on my hands— but I wasn’t even singed; likewise, there was no glare against the sky. That’s when I noticed the smoke was billowing in great columns, yet I wasn’t choked by it at all— I didn’t so much as smell it! I stood there stupefied as the whole house was engulfed by a flaming tornado and crumbled into a red ruin.
Heart stricken, I made my way down the hill while shouting for help and came to a small, wooden bridge. At the end, there was a rope fastened to the railing and thrown over the side… Looking down, I saw a man hanging between the road and the stream; upon closer inspection, I recognized him as the man I saw exiting the orchard. His hat had fallen off, and the tips of his boots just barely touched the water.
It didn’t seem possible, but there was no denying he was the same man. I scrambled to the bottom hoping to lift the body and relieve the weight on the rope. I was just able to reach his loose shirt, yet there was no resistance when I pulled, and— for a moment— I thought the shirt tore loose; then I realized my hand had closed on nothing but air… I was so suffocated by the horror that I feared losing consciousness.
I began running and stumbling along that dark road in total panic; the only thing I could think to do was wake the whole town and bring more men back to the bridge… At least, that was my intention, but— when the village was finally within sight— I instinctively slowed down and began to think it over more logically… After all, I was a stranger in those parts… One who had just endured a rather disagreeable trial, and country folk are notoriously suspicious by default.
I was already at my limit for baseless accusations, so I decided the smartest option was to drop a few hints to the landlord. That way, I could decide how to proceed based on his reaction. I found him exactly as I’d left him— still sitting in that same spot while he smoked.
“Well, I was wondering where you ran off to.” He said slowly.
I told him about my walk and casually mentioned the forked road and hill before asking who lived in the house at the top.
For a moment he only stared at me in confusion before confidently replying, “house? There’s no house up there. Old Joe Snedeker owns that land, and he wants to build a house for his son after the boy gets married, but he ain’t even gotten started yet… Some folks don’t think he ever will.”
“I’m pretty sure I saw a house…” I protested feebly, lacking the courage to dispute his claim. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact there was no heat or substance to it.
The landlord gave me a look of concern with his next response. “You seem a bit out of it; maybe it would be best for you to get some sleep...”
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[Conclusion]
The man paused from telling his story, and— for a moment— we sat in silence, listening to the hum of the machinery and the lashing sea merge with the singing voices from the deck below.
As a rule, we tend to feel a shade of contemptuous superiority over those who believe in their dreams or a fortune-teller’s predictions, and that’s what I felt now. “Hallucinations— it was just your eyes playing tricks. Your nerves were probably shattered after the long strain of your trial.” I said with reassuring indulgence
“That’s what I thought, too— especially after I returned to the hill the following morning… There was no sign of the house ever existing.” He replied shortly.
“And no corpse at the bridge?” I asked with a laugh.
“And no corpse at the bridge.” He confirmed while trying to light another cigar. It took a little time, but— once he managed it— he rose from his chair and stood looking down at me before continuing.
“Now, listen. I told you this all happened several years ago. I’d almost forgotten it; if you can convince yourself that something was only your imagination— the memory begins to dim inside your head. Once you recognize it as a delusion, it loses its hold on you. Whenever I would remember it, I would think of how close I came to losing my mind; that’s all. Last year, I went back to that same hotel and talked to the same landlord who immediately remembered me as the man who thought he saw the house. After sharing a laugh, he said a house had since been built up there.
“He also said it would’ve been better if the house had never existed. Old Snedeker built his son a big, fine house with a veranda on two sides, and Young Joe began courting Mabel Elting. She was from Windermere, but she worked at a shop in Liverpool. She used to date a fellow named Jim Travers, and he was wild about her; he’d save his money to go visit her, but she eventually ended the relationship to marry Joe— probably because of his house and his old man’s money. Well, Jim went crazy, and— on the newlywed’s very first night in their new home— he burned it down while the couple slept… The landlord speculated the guy must have been drunk; he’d always known Jim as a quiet, gentle man…
“He looked surprised when I told him that wasn’t the case, but when he asked if I’d heard about the incident, I simply said no and prompted him to continue. After burning the young couple in their bed, he hung himself at the little bridge just before the road forked… He personally witnessed the body hanging on the following morning and saw that the tips of Jim’s boots just barely touched the water…”

Please help me.My (24 f) spouse (24 f) takes care of her mother with sickle cell (50 f). We've known each other for over 10 years and are coming up on our one-year anniversary (tomorrow). Our relationship has been amazing despite some learning curves and we are extremely in love. I am noticing this situation has recently taken a toll on my spouse/our relationship- especially the last crisis. The situation has been taking a toll on me as well and I feel like her mother is constantly around or we're doing something that involves her.When my spouse and I were just friends I knew of her mother's illness but not in detail. I'd say I was the friend she vent to and took her mind off things by going out, traveling, etc. At the start of our romantic relationship, my spouse did not fully emerge me into the health concern or lifestyle. When her mother got sick, she would try to educate me and leave for the hospital or her mom's house to take care of pain, withdraw, etc. She would be gone for hours and I tried to be supportive by just having things in the house ready so she can relax once home, being open to talk, etc. When she was gone for hours, she always tried to be clear and communicative throughout the process and I tried to be supportive although I did not understand the full scope of the disease or this lifestyle. I've never had someone with a serious illness in my immediate family. My dad has addiction issues but I've been distant since the first couple of rehabs did nothing. Recently my spouse's mom had an attack and we took her to the hospital. We were in the middle of heading to our reservation when she got a call from her mom and we turned around to take her to the ER. I sat in the car for at least 4-5 hours until her mom got settled. My spouse was extremely apologetic. I tried to be kind and supportive telling her not to apologize for stuff she cannot control and let's continue with our day now that her mom is situated. But if I am being honest, this is a reoccurring thing. I want to be there and be supportive of my spouse when she needs me, but my personality in general has a lot of scheduling and control. I suffer from depression and when I am not "up and moving" I get fearful I will be down, so it's really has been a difficult adjustment for me. Anyways, her mom was in the hospital for about 4 days and my spouse went back-forth before/after work which is relatively normal. My spouse says the hospitals usually do not care about sickle cell and her mother often has no one there to advocate for her. My spouse came home extremely drained those days and was restless which impacted both our sleep (at least 3 days without real sleep). My spouse says it's draining to constantly argue with medical staff and advocate for her mom. Thursday night her mom got out of the hospital, long story short she had an anxiety attack and was rushed to the ER near her. They had no idea how to deal with it and should be shut down IMO. They tried to take blood directly from her artery and almost killed her. We let her get oxygen (low blood pressure) and then transferred her, ourselves, to another ER. They refused to transfer her without blood work and my spouse (and her sister via Facetime) refused to let them try to take it again/kill her. Her mom ended up feeling better by the time we to the other hospital and we went home. My spouse, and her mother, were distraught so her mom ended up staying with us. At this point, it was at least 2 in the morning. She and her dog stood with us in our one-bedroom for 3 days. I honestly had no problem with this, but I do work from home and it was extremely hard dealing with the noise. Additionally, I have depression and trouble sleeping throughout the night. It was hard to be confined to my office/bedroom throughout the day. It was hard not keeping my routines which is something I rely on. It was hard sleeping with the TV on the whole time since her mom is a night owl. I usually do not let small things bother me but lack of sleep and overall irritation with the situation got to me. My spouse was also restless and anxiety-anger driven which was causing tension. Her mom ended up going home and feeling better Sunday morning but she has been having anxiety about being alone. I thought we would drop her off on Sunday and get her settled, but we stood at her house for another 4-5 hours altogether. Finally, my spouse and I went back home to rest. An hour into us being home her grandma & mom called and my spouse went back over there for another 3-4 hours by herself to see them and hang out. It was now about 8 pm before I began hanging out with my spouse. Sunday is my only day off and time to spend with my spouse we are up for work by 5 am. It was also my brother's 21st birthday and I was not able to leave because we share a car, I did not want to leave my spouse, and I was extremely exhausted my eyes would barely stay open/kept leaking tears. The next day, Monday I am working from home (my spouse and her mom are off due to memorial day). My spouse's mom showed up here with her dog and we are now all going out once I am off at 5 pm. We ended up going to a Korean Spa and guess who paid for the entry- ME. Tuesday her mother asked me to go see some cars with her before my shift. My spouses sister is coming home from college and is getting her first car so I went. Wednesday (today), my day off, her mom randomly shows up at our house with her dog and assumes it is okay to leave her here without asking me or informing my spouse. The heating system in her building is out and she does not want her dog to overheat. I completely understand but it is very annoying and inconsiderate to assume I will be okay with that. My spouse has had that conversation with her multiple times and she does not seem to understand or care. Recently, my spouses landlord came over and saw the dog. Our apartment does not even allow dogs.I have to say, my spouse and her mothers relationship is already very strained. They're both working to fix it but the illness causes tension. Her mom feels like a burden and completely withdraws when she is feeling betteindependent. My spouse is depleted around that time and withdraws as well. Her mom gets sick every 6 months or so. Also, there is past abuse between them from childhood-adolences (physical, finanical, and verbal) that my spouse is holding onto. My spouse has a sister (f 20) who is away at college and she is going to talk to her about completing her master degree at home. I am unsure how sucessful that will be since the college is funding the masters degree and she also holds onto past trauma with her mom.I am on PTO until Monday and do not want to be bothered with anyone (or anything- pets included)! I am trying to use this time to get my mental health right and have my space. I understand medical emergencies but does this feel extreme to anyone else? How do I express this to my spouse? How do I (we) set boundaries in this situation?

Last Thursday I made a post where I showed the unlabeled timelines of each Documental season, and wrote that I planning to release all my data showing the entire breakdown of every card given in the first 10 seasons (and the shelved S8).
That time has come.
Reddit posts are limited to 40k characters, so I can't fit all the seasons in one post. However, I was planning to cap off the data post with a post reviewing every season, where I'd divide Documental into three eras (1-4, 5-7, shelved 8 - 10) and try to rank them. Instead, I'll combine the timeline, data, and review into three posts, one for each era. The reviews will go in a comment to save space.
Welcome to the Classic Era (alternatively, the Cookie-Fujimoto Era) of Documental. Introduction and methodology in the comments to save space.
ドキュメンタル。。。スタート！

Season 1

U! S! A!
Documental Season 1 Card Timeline
Winner: None (three-way tie, unofficial winner Anthony)

Contestant	Duo Name	Catchphrase*	Points**	Final Rank
Miyagawa Daisuke (宮川大輔)	(solo)	１、２を争うゲラ (Quick To Laugh)	N/A	7th (Tie)

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Time	Card	Primary Culprit(s)	Secondary Culprit(s)	Description	Category
5:20:25	Yellow	(self), Jimmy		Thwaps Jimmy with a rubber band in his bald spot. Twists the rubber band around his mouth immediately after, he claims he was "trying to make a funny face" but Matsumoto says he was using it to hold back a laugh and "that's wrong".	Boke, Self-Destruct
3:31:49	Orange	kukky		kukky comes out with the Tenga Egg on his head that he inflates.	Immediate, Absurd
2:59:31	Red	kukky, Fujimoto	(self)	["Double elimination"]: Fujimoto initiates cleaning Daisuke's ass of the toilet paper, the killing blow comes when kukky comes and sprays something (perfume)? Both Daisuke and Saito get reds.	Coup de grace, Absurd, Lost Endurance

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Ohchi Yosuke (大地洋輔)	Dienoji (ダイノジ)	エアギター世界王者 (Air Guitar World Champion)	N/A	9th

​

5:47:52	Yellow	Jimmy		"Yoshimoto's Al Capone": Ohchi is laughing pretty much throughout the group's conversation about Hachimitsu's shirt (and Fujimoto's "giant wife", per Kubota) but Jimmy coming out with his "mother and child" lamb gets him to laugh, chided for hiding behind cigarette.	Boke, Absurd, Passive, Warning
5:26:26	Safe!	Anthony		Examined during the Saito orange, Ohchi accused of laughing but holding it in during Anthony's "move" which consists of him squeezing his head through the opponent's arm and saying Hello.	Absurd
4:28:33	Red	kukky		Laughs at kukky's joke about his jacket hood being full of tofu, specifically just the joke and the word "tofu", as he even reinacts it "It's soaked in sweat." "Yeah, it's wet." "That's not sweat. There's tofu in there.". He explains that kukky uses tofu as a joke for everything.	Immediate, Boke, ???, Personal, Unfunny

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Kubota Kazunobu (久保田和靖)	"Torosa-mon" [sic.] (とろサーモン)	サイコパス的な。。。(Psychopathic...)	N/A	Survived*** (would have placed 2nd on points)

​

1:06:33	Yellow	Anthony		Loses the rock-paper-scissors against Fujimon and has to look at the photo of Anthony's dad (same photo where he blends into background that Kawahara laughs at) first. His voice trembles with a laugh.	Traditional, Strict

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Fujimoto Toshifumi (藤本敏史)	"Fujiwara" (FUJIWARA)	嫁への依存心でハングリーになれるか？ (Can He Be Hungry Dependent On His Wife?)	N/A	4th

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5:33:48	Yellow	Jimmy, Daisuke		["They calm me"]: Jimmy and Daisuke line up to play rock-paper-scissors, Daisuke tells Jimmy to put the sheep away and he says they calm them, then Jimmy bursts into laughter. Saito and Fujimoto also caught smiling (albeit Fujimoto smiles in a way that he will always do in the later seasons).	Strict, Warning
2:14:53	Orange	Anthony		A talk starting from Fujimon not needing 10M, name a comedian still popular in their 50s, Ishizuka... Anthony mentions "But I heard that when he does those gourmet reports, he leaves a lot of food." and Fujimoto goes "Hmph!".	Strict, Personal
18:50	Red	Kawahara, (self)		Kawahara goes out with his boxing glove punch strainer dip routine. Fujimoto joins in taking the strainer, and Kawahara hits him in the face with the boxing glove at the end. Fujimoto laughs. "When you get punched that much, you can't help but laugh. I thought, 'What the hell am I doing?'".	Rolling, Absurd, Coup de grace

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kukky (くっきー)	"Yaseibakuden" (野性爆弾)	ドリ客 (Can-ghter)	N/A	5th

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4:34:08	Yellow	Hachimitsu		Laughs at Hachimitsu's black-and-yellow lucha libre mask. Contemporary with Ohchi's orange for laughing throughout. No time given, so I'm going off of the 4:33:18 seen when Ohchi's laughs minus 50 seconds of broadcast time to the start.	Traditional
4:07:16	Orange	Daisuke		["Analympics"]: Daisuke demonstrates the game he used to play in dressing rooms: Analympics, strips underwear and shows anus very fast. Kukky laughs because he had toilet paper crumbs left ("looked like termites"), Hachimitsu and Saito also examined, Saito marked safe but other two get orange.	Vulgar, Immediate, Unexpected
2:19:00	Red	Kubota		Kubota performs an unfunny version of Pikotaro. "B... oo... boobs!" It's not even remotely funny, so kukky laughs. Time not shown so going off starting time.	Unfunny

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Saito Tsukasa (斎藤司)	"Trendy Angel" (トレンディエンジェル)	ハケごときで (His Baldness Is Lame)	N/A	7th (Tie)

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5:33:48	Yellow	Jimmy, Daisuke		Jimmy and Daisuke line up to play rock-paper-scissors, Daisuke tells Jimmy to put the sheep away and he says they calm them, then he bursts into laughter. Saito and Fujimoto also caught smiling.	Boke
5:26:26	Orange	Jimmy		"First orange": After Jimmy gives him his hair, he goes to wash his head. Jimmy "makes a funny face" and Saito laughs. The group insists Jimmy was laughing and hiding his face in the sink but Matsumoto doesn't check up on it. Ohchi also examined and not carded. Since Saito was attacking he gets an orange, which is explained as the last step before red.	Boke
4:07:16	Safe!	Daisuke		["Analympics"]	Vulgar, Immediate

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Kawahara Katsumi (川原克己	"Tenjikunezumi" (天竺鼠)	板尾創路の系譜 (The "Itsuji Itao Type")	N/A	Survived*** (would have placed 3rd on points)

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2:09:52	Yellow	(self)		"That's quite manly of you...": Nobody's ever seen Kawahara laugh, so he decides to show them. He hides his face and uncovers it to indeed reveal him laughing. "I thought he wouldn't make a face at all. But he gave us a full on laugh. It was so unlike him.". His goal was that everybody would laugh in response. Fujimoto does laugh, but after the siren.	!!!
1:12:11	Orange	Anthony		Laughs at Anthony's second photo of his American dad Viktor (a night photo where his dad is barely visible due to his dark skin color).	Traditional

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Hachimitsu Jiro (ハチミツ二郎)	"Tokyo Dynamite" (東京ダイナマイト)	地肩が強い (Mr. Highly Proficient)	N/A	6th

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5:59:17	Safe!	(self)		["First siren on Documental"]: pretty much everyone is laughing, but specifically Jiro's smile as he introduces himself to Jimmy and Jimmy's "stretched mouth" after Kawahara introduces himself as "Kyojin from All Hanshin" get called out.	Lost Concentration, Fun
5:00:25	Yellow	Jimmy		Jimmy eats the bun with the wasabi clearly on it, there's still one more, Hachimitsu laughs as he says "It should be okay...".	Lost Concentration
4:07:16	Orange	Daisuke		["Analympics"]	Vulgar, Immediate
2:50:51	Red	Fujimon	(self)	Earlier on, as Hachimitsu shows off the lucha libre masks, he stands on a chair and breaks it, and Ohchi swings a broken part of the chair around like a tonfa. Later, Kawahara is doing a running joke where he takes credit for other things, and replicated Ohchi's joke. Hachimitsu remarks that he made that and Fujimon says "You didn't make it". They repeat this exchange and Hachimitsu smiles. Fujimoto is stunned as Hachimitsu smiled at the simplest possible tsukkomi response: "What else should I say? You didn't make it." In the interview after, Hachimitsu talks about how he lost his focus, and couldn't understand why Fujimoto was so persistent about something so trivial, as "When you think about it, I made that prop".	Tsukkomi, Lost Concentration

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Anthony (アントニー	"Matenrou" (マテンロウ)	毛色が違う (A Horse of a Different Color)	N/A	Survived*** (would have placed 1st on points)

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3:21:16	Yellow	(self)	kukky	Anthony puts on kukky's Tenga Egg and enjoys it, saying "This is fun" but smiling as he does.	Lost Concentration, Fun
1:16:37	Orange	(self)		Laughs "like at a normal dinner" while showing Fujimon his kindergarten photo.	Lost Concentration, Fun

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Jimmy Onishi (ジミー大西)	(solo)	化物 (Monster)	N/A	10th

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5:59:17	Safe!	Kawahara		["First siren on documental"]	Traditional
5:33:48	Yellow	(self), Daisuke		["They calm me"]	Boke
5:26:26	Safe!	(self)		["First orange"]	Boke
4:56:08	Red	Fujimon	(self)	Hachimitsu says Fujimon is close to laughing and Fujimon complains about Jimmy: "But he keeps drinking!" (after they agreed using bottles to hide a laugh is a foul). Jimmy laughs and gets mad at Fujimon, saying he was only drinking because the wasabi was still hot and he kept tricking Jimmy into laughing.	???

FINAL WORDS:

Anthony: You act like you're the best, but you're hopeless. ([小僧?]一番出来る感じ出して、なんてないっす。）
Kubota: Hm?
(silence)

Season 2

The legendary 657 seconds. A true fight to the death. This is Documental.
Documental Season 2 Card Timeline
Winner: Kotouge (2 remaining, won 3-0 on points)

Contestant	Duo Name	Catchphrase*	Points	Final Rank	Likelihood To Win**
Yoshimura Takashi (吉村崇)	Heisei Nobushikobushi (平成ノブシコブシ)	破天荒芸人 (The Wild Cannon Comedian)	1	3rd	5th

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Time	Card	Primary Culprit(s)	Secondary Culprit(s)	Description	Category
4:28:29	Yellow	Jimmy		["Reshuffled"]: Jimmy gets his balls sucked in the vaccuum and reacts to the pain: "Look at my balls, they've been reshuffled (互い違い)". Matsumoto says everyone could be called out but Yoshimura and Tsuda were clear outs, giving everyone a yellow as a coincidence. The two assert that at first they had no idea what Jimmy meant, but his balls had indeed moved "not just up and down, there was a lateral transfer too".	Boke, Verbal, Vulgar, Physical
20:25	Orange	Fujimoto		As Fujimoto undresses, Joyman falls out. Turns out Fujimoto had stuck Joyman inside his underwear, and it even stuck to his butt for a moment.	Unexpected, Trap
10:56	Red	Kotouge		Kotouge spits water onto the photo of Tsuda's mother and yells "old hag!". Almost all of it richochets onto Yoshimura.	Unexpected, Physical

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Miyagawa Daisuke (宮川大輔)	(solo)	楽屋での密室芸 (The Closed-Door Backstage Artist)	0	10th	2nd

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5:28:02	Safe!	Jimmy		["Yam-jelly"]: Jimmy "quits priesthood" and strips, uncovering his smelly yam-jelly dick (konnyaku) covering. Himura laughs, says Daisuke laughed as he looks down but Matsumoto rules it as after the red siren.	Absurd, Boke
5:20:39	Yellow	Jimmy, Himura, (self)		["Atsui/Itai"]: Daisuke shoots a rubber band at Jimmy's ass, Jimmy responds with "Atsui!" (It's hot!). Himura starts to tsukkomi Jimmy saying that's not right, he should say "Itai!" (It hurts!) instead. Miyagawa all along is holding it in, eventually hissing out a laugh (Matsumoto-san! Matsumoto-san!), and says Himura was laughing too but Matsumoto says the cameras didn't catch Himura.	Boke, Lost Endurance
4:17:38	Red	Jimmy, (self)		Jimmy washes his head and is soaking wet, Daisuke offers Jimmy a towel, Jimmy says No thanks, Daisuke chuckles as he responds "Why? It's just..." (... a towel.). Asked why he laughed he repeats this story over and over. He was just talking with Jimmy as he normally would and lost his concentration.	???, Boke, Lost concentration

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Oshima Miyuki (大島美幸)	Morisantyu (森三中)	女芸人登場 (The First Female Competitor)	1	8th	9th

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5:42:01	Yellow	(self)		Hands her panties to Jimmy, then they get examined by the group: "Do you play baseball in them or something?".	Self-destruct
4:58:21	Orange	Kotouge, Kojima	Fujimon	As the group rags on Kojima being unfunny with his wooden drum, Fujimon points out there's a "wooden drum right next to him" (Kotouge) and Kojima gets spurred to play him. Kojima thwacks Kotouge on the head with his mallet a bit too hard and Kotouge reacts in pain.	Physical
3:29:16	Red	(self), Jimmy		"A poorly written mystery:" Oshima makes Jimmy ramen. He eats it and complains it's sweet. "You put sugar in it, didn't you? Oshimaaa!" She can't hold it in. After the red card she reveals she made Jimmy's ramen half-filled with orange juice - Jimmy's still angry as she leaves.	Self-destruct, Boke, Trap

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Himura Yuki (日村勇紀)	Bananaman (バナナマン)	笑いの有段者 (The Black Belt Comedian)	0	5th

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5:28:02	Yellow	Jimmy		["Yam-jelly"]	Absurd, Boke, Passive
5:20:39	Safe	Jimmy, (self), Daisuke		["Atsui/Itai"]	Boke, Passive
2:01:01	Orange	Kotouge	(self), Fujimoto, Yoshimura, Saito	Fujimoto starts a sketch with his screaming mouth mask. Yoshimura joins in with his beer liker cap mask. Saito comes in with the titty cap as if it was really funny, and that turns off the pressure. Then Kotouge comes out with absolutely nothing (he wanted to join, but they already ended), and Himura laughs as he realizes Kotouge doesn't have anything.	Passive, Unexpected
1:27:56	Red	Kotouge		Kotouge does Akira 100% while getting his balls slurped by the vaccuum. On the suggestion that he do it standing on the tray, he slips and impales himself on the trunk behind him. Himura laughs when he sees the bruise that Kotouge has from it.	Physical, Passive

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Kojima Kazuya (児嶋一哉)	Unjash (アンジャッシュ）	木偶の坊 (The Dunce)	0	9th	7th

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4:37:54	Yellow	Jimmy, Yoshimura		["Under the konnyaku"]: Jimmy brings in the vaccuum cleaner, Yoshimura says "What if we try under the konnyaku?" and sucks up his genitals, Jimmy reacts in pain as expected. Matsumoto comes for Kojima but group says Kotouge was who they all saw, both get yellows.	Physical
4:08:07	Orange	Kotouge		Kotouge comes out wearing a chainmail helmet and proclaims "If you hit me (again), it wouldn't hurt at all". Kojima hits him again and it hurts - it didn't work at all. Matsumoto checks to see whether to give an orange (warning) or another yellow (which would mean a red), but gives him orange because he was attacking.	Physical, Rolling
3:46:45	Red	Fujimon, Kotouge	Saito	"An incredible stutter": Saito attempts a titty gag but nobody laughs and the group around the porthole point out that's all he's been trying. Kotouge gives an "unclear stutter" as he says "You only brought titties to thish sh-show..." ("お前今日、おっぱいしか（？？？）じゃない、この番組。。。” and Fujimon reacts with a "Hm?". Discussion as to whether it counts as Kotouge's point, Kojima says he laughed at Fujimon's "Hm?" reaction. Saito says he set it up but Matsumoto says it wasn't even remotely funny.	Tsukkomi, Unexpected

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Fujimoto Toshifumi (藤本敏史)	Fujiwara (FUJIWARA）	ムードメーカー (The Moodmaker)	4	4th	6th

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4:42:40	Yellow	Tsuda		Tsuda brings in the photo of his mom at 14 hula hooping, tells the story of her bad-smelling farts, and reveals that she was a javelin thrower. The group locks on to Fujimon and makes him look at the photo. "Textbook comedy".	Traditional
59:52	Orange	(self)	Saito	"Are 200 watts funny?": trying to do his nose hair remover and heating it up in the microwave, it isn't working. Fujimon insists it will work. Saito: Doesn't that say 200 watts? Fujimon: It only has 200 watts. Saito: 500 watts before. Fujimon: Well, this won't work... it's broken. He chuckles casually while saying that last phrase for some reason. After the card, the group repeats 200 watts to try to make Fujimoto laugh.	???, Lost Concentration
16:16	Red	Yoshimura		"Revenge of the Joyman": During the seltzer-chug challenge, Yoshimura puts Joyman on the bottom of the water bottle, getting revenge for his own orange from Fujimon.	Traditional

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Saito Shinji (斉藤慎二)	Jungle Pocket (ジャングルポケット）	唯一無二の個性 (A Unique Character)	0	2nd (Survived, lost on points)	10th

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4:49:37	Yellow	Jimmy		During Kojima's skit, the microwave beeps. What did you heat? Jimmy answers Strawberry candy (earlier, during Fujimon's "Cat's Eye, Dog Nose... add one more" associated word exchange with Kotouge, Jimmy answered with the complete non-sequitur Strawberry Candy). The group thought Jimmy laughed but Saito is called out for suspiciously eating bread right after that statement.	Absurd, Boke

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Tsuda Atsuhiro (津田篤宏	Daian (ダイアン)	ナニワが抜けてない (He Still Reeks Of Old-Style Osaka)	1	6th	8th

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4:28:29	Yellow	Jimmy		["Reshuffled"]	Boke, Verbal, Vulgar, Physical
4:00:37	Orange	(Yoshimura or Fujimon, whoever brought Joyman and laid the trap)		As Tsuda shows the picture of his silver-capped-tooth mother, he turns around and sees a trap: somebody placed Joyman's Takagi on the hula hoop. He goes "Heh!" and Matsumoto lets him off with a "any mistake and you're done, this orange card is virtually a yellow"***.	Trap, Strict
3:01:00	Red	(self), Fujimon		Laughs throughout his Masayuki Suzuki impression (Chigau, chiiii-gau, sou jya na-iii...), final laugh after Fujimon's "See you in Yoyogi" (5 o' clo...).	Self-destruct, Tsukkomi

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Kotouge Eiji (小峠英二)	Viking (バイきんぐ)	怒り芸 (The Anger Artist)	3	1st (Survived, won on points)	4th

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4:37:54	Yellow	Jimmy, Yoshimura		["Under the konnyaku"]	Physical, Boke
1:13:24	Orange	Fujimon	Saito	Saito tries inhaling the helium that he brought but it doesn't work for him. Fujimon shows him how it's done and says "Hello". Kotouge has a slight smirk, the group defends him (We don't want to see him expelled just for that...) and he gets an orange.	Strict, Traditional

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Jimmy Onishi (ジミー大西)	(solo)	異星からの贈り物 (A Gift From Outer Space)	9	7th	3rd

​

5:56:42	Orange***	(self)		Laughs casually as he's distributing his "crackers for friendship".	Lost Concentration
5:42:01	Yellow***	Oshima		Oshima hands her panties to Jimmy, then they get examined by the group: "Do you play baseball in them or something?". Oshima laughs but Jimmy gets caught too.	Traditional
3:21:27	Red	Fujimon		Fujimoto randomly does the Ice Bucket Challenge (after Saito spits on Kotouge's head to wash off his "hair").	Unexpected, Absurd, Immediate

FINAL WORDS:
What will we do? Thirty seconds... time for one more. It has to be... (rubber chicken sque-eak).
(Followed after final bell by 'Wait wait wait, please..." "It's over").

Season 3

Squeee... squeee squeee squeee... (Toos! Haah!)
Documental Season 3 Card Timeline
Winner: Yamamoto (2 remaining, won 1-0 on points)

Contestant	Duo Name	Catchphrase	Points	Final Rank
Kendo Kobayashi (ケンドーコバヤシ)	(solo)	無冠の嘘帝王 (An Emperor Without A Crown) / 不惑のTHEエロス (A Merciless Pervert)	2	4th

​

Time	Card	Primary Culprit(s)	Secondary Culprit(s)	Description	Category
3:40:40	Yellow	Kasuga		["Kasuga after the bell"]: They look at Kasuga's dick during the bell, but immediately after: "Can you show us again?". Kendo looks down but RG goes "bu-bu". Matsumoto comes for Kendo first "but what's the story with RG?". No time given but after the bell is 3h4040s, so I'll go with that.	Physical, Vulgar, Joins in
3:31:36	Orange	Kasuga, Goto		["Curry rice"]: Immediately after Kendo's previous card, Goto asks to try putting the curry rice in there. Kasuga does and it comes at slowly - the speed at which it's served makes him laugh, but Kasuga is said to be smiling during it as well, though I don't see it.	Physical, Vulgar
1:25:45	Red	kukky (zombie)	Date (zombie)	["Teddy Bear-chan enters"]: Date as the daddy brings out kukky's Teddy Bear-chan for the first time. Kasuga and Kendo get reds.	Absurd, Immediate, Routine

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Goto Terumoto (後藤輝基)	Footballhour (フットボールアワー)	ツッコミスナイパー: "Comedy Sniper"	2	7th

​

5:01:01	Yellow	kukky		Laughs at kukky's "ghost photo" of Master Daisuke, particularly the green head one - "you have no respect for these veterans, it's downright rude".	Traditional, Absurd, Coup de grace, Prepared, Prop
3:47:48	Orange	(self), Iwahashi, Kasuga		"A remarkable coincidence": Kasuga shows off his pubic area and Goto calls his skin smooth (tsuru-tsuru: つるつる), and Iwahashi says "Brings back memories, right?" as he at the same time was making a paper crane (tsuru: 鶴). Goto laughs all-out but he's spared, as "I have never seen such a coincidence in my life.".	???, !!!, Unexpected
2:46:35	Red	Kendo, (self)		Kendo comes out as Yuriko Koike. Goto asks him: "Are you moving the markets to Toyosu?" the response: "Not anymore. Changed it again. Jakuzure." Goto laughs at the response: "Why would you build a fish market there?".	Impersonation, Quip

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Akiyama Ryuji (秋山竜次)	Robert (ロバート)	千のキャラを持つ男: "The Man of a Thousand Characters"	1	5th

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3:41:23	Yellow	Kasuga, (self)	Goto, Kendo	Kasuga shows off his privates and his impressive foreskin as Goto eats a sausage. "How can you eat while seeing that?" Goto is tasked to eat while face-to-face with Kasuga's foreskin. Kendo sits down next to him. Akiyama jumps in too but laughs - "I don't usually laugh at things like that. But his foreskin was even more impressive than I imagined". Matsmoto only gives him a yellow as "He jumped into that by himself. I take such efforts into consideration.".	Jumps In, Vulgar, Physical
3:22:47	Orange	Kasuga, Goto		Kasuga puts the mini eel bento eraser out of his foreskin. "Almost all of you were laughing. But if we go down there, there will be no end. So the guy who stood out the most is out. Akiyama." Akiyama: "I held on the whole time, but then he started clenching his body. Nobody guessed it wouldn't come out. Then he tried to push it out with while whole body, and an eel bento popped out.".	Vulgar, Physical
1:39:46	Red	Yamamoto	Kendo	During Kendo's conversation with Yamamoto about why the latter "went away", Yamamoto reveals he's been sucking on Iwahashi's pills from before, still, without chewing. 1h41m09s shown earlier. Final time.	Traditional, Unexpected

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Kinoshita Takayuki (木下隆行)	TKO (TKO)	本気芝居入道 (True Bald Actor)	0	[2nd (Survived, lost on points)

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2:15:21	Yellow	Iwahashi, (self)		Makes Iwahashi play his "Can do it or Can't do it?" game. The first card is Chomi from Chomi-Choko and Iwahashi insists he could "do her".	Counter, Boke
44:37	Orange	Akiyama (zombie), Kendo (zombie)		"The sweat laugh": One of the most memorable endurance trials in Documental history, the sweat laugh. Akiyama and Kendo's VIP service routine, where Akiyama is a Chinese masseuse who massages Kendo with oil and continuously offers 30-minute extensions, lymph node massages, and the "Double Dip Course", involving massaging his groin. Kendo says he's "about to blow", and Akiyama says he has to finish himself in the shower. You can hear Kendo shower in the changing room as Akiyama sings something in Chinese. All along, Kinoshita is sitting there trying to endure without laughing, to the point where he has a physical reaction and sweat pours down his face. After Akiyama starts singing, he breaks and laughs out loud.	Passive, Explosive, Lost Endurance, Vulgar, Routine

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Kasuga Toshiaki (春日俊彰)	Audrey (オードリー)	奇怪なる節約魔獣 (A Bizarre Thrifty Monster)	6	3rd

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3:31:36	Yellow	Kasuga, Goto		["Curry rice"]	Self-destruct, Strict
2:39:28	Orange	Akiyama		Akiyama comes out with the panty mask and the penis enlarger stretching device he got from a magazine he writes for.	Vulgar, Prepared, Prop, Absurd, Immediate
1:25:45	Red	kukky (zombie)	Date (zombie)	["Teddy Bear-chan enters"]	Absurd, Immediate, Routine

​

kukky (くっきー)	Yaseibakudan (野性爆弾)	綱渡り放送コード (Walking The Tightrope Of The Broadcast Laws) / 正真正銘最終兵器 (The Ultimate Weapon)	4	10th

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5:15:39	Yellow	Goto	Yamamoto, Kasuga, Kinoshita	The massage tappers brought by Kinoshita keep getting held by Yamamoto after Kasuga's sixpad performance. Eventually they try it on a shirtless Goto holding the "guitar" (violin), and Cookie laughs after he joins in a bit saying "bi-bi-bi".	Join in, Absurd
4:05:07	Red	Goto	(self)	Earlier Cookie gave Goto the pull tab with the mini sushi eraser (that Goto brought). Goto returned the favor by giving a pull tab with a mini curry inside. Cookie laughs full-on and gets a red.	Trap

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RG	Razor Ramon (レイザーラモン)	進撃のあるあるシンガー (The Attack of the Observational Humor Singer) / 日本のアイアンハート (The Iron Heart of Japan)	0	8th

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4:36:45	Yellow	(self), Cookie		RG writes UFO backwards on his forehead accidentally (because he did it in a mirror), Cookie asks "Why is ON written on your forehead" (note that UFO backwards (O=	U) sort of looks like ON).
4:34:34	Orange	Kendo?, (self)	Yamamoto	Immediately after RG's previous card, they get watermelon rinds to eat, and somebody (sounds like Kendo?) asks "Can you eat like Shimura?". RG smiles	Lost Concentration
3:40:40	Red	Kasuga		["Kasuga after the bell"]:They look at Kasuga's dick during the bell, but immediately after: "Can you show us again?". Kendo looks down but RG goes "bu-bu". Matsumoto comes for Kendo first "but what's the story with RG?". No time given but after the bell is 3h4040s, so I'll go with that.	Physical, Vulgar, Passive

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Date Mikio (伊達みきお)	Sandwichman (サンドウィッチマン)	金髪ブタおしゃべり野郎 (Blond Chatty Pig)	0	9th

​

4:57:27	Orange	kukky		Laughs at kukky's "ghost photo" of Master Daisuke, particularly a shrunken head one. Given an orange because he laughs out loud (after saying "I can't take this" - Master Daisuke's head gets smaller and smaller).	Prop, Lost Endurance, Explosive
3:54:33	Red	(self), Kinoshita		Who broke Kinoshita's mirror. Date - you are a girl. Proof - show us your breasts. He shows his stomach - one level higher. Date smiles twice - once while showing one breast, the second time for the other. All I did was show a nipple and go "hmmph".	Self-destruct, ???, Strict

​

Iwahashi Yoshimasa (岩橋良昌)	Plus Minus (プラス・マイナス)	やってはいけない症候群 (Compulsive Behavior)	1	6th

​

4:36:45	Safe	RG, Cookie		RG writes UFO backwards on his forehead accidentally (because he did it in a mirror), Cookie asks "Why is ON written on your forehead"?. Iwahashi not carded but Matsumoto accuses him of using his condition as an excuse.	Warning
2:35:07	Orange	Kendo	(self), Yamamoto	Laughed in the middle of a normal conversation: Iwahashi says he needs to shave the side of his head but his wife can't do it. Kendo: "You have a wife?" Iwahashi: "I have a wife. And two kids." Kendo: "She must be crazy.". Iwahashi laughs because he was so relieved Yamamoto took the razor that he relaxed like in a salon.	Lost Concentration, Fun
1:50:50	Red	Kasuga	(self)	Iwahashi bring the "Strange Supplement" supposed to make you lose taste, and demonstrates it. Kasuga tries it with condensed milk, tabasco that makes him cough (though he insists it's not spicy), and mustard. The mustard also makes him cough, and Iwahashi cracks up (putting on the glasses and buck teeth), because "It was funny watching him pretend he's okay. He kept pretending. In the end he couldn't pretend". Kasuga was pretending all along.	Lost Endurance, Boke, Explosive

​

Yamamoto Keiichi (山本圭壱)	Gokuraku Tombo (極楽とんぼ)	蘇る金豚 (Resurrection of the Golden Pig)	1	1st (survived, won on points)

​

5:49:25	Yellow	(self)	(room), Iwahashi, Kinoshita	According to Matsumoto, Yamamoto was just constantly smiling for the first ten minutes due to the mood in the room: happy to be there.	Fun, Lost Concentration, Warning
5:04:03	Orange	kukky		Laughs at kukky's "ghost photo" of Master Daisuke, particularly the shrunken head one. Unusually, no time shown after so time is based on shot during Yamamoto's rampage after.	Prop

FINAL WORDS:
A series of squeaks and sighs.

Season 4

In the space between you and the sky / Today, too, a golden rain falls...
Documental Season 4 Card Timeline
Winner: kukky (4 remaining, won 4-2-1-1 on points)

Contestant	Duo Name	Catchphrase	Points	Final Rank
Nobu (ノブ)	Chidori (千鳥)	ツッコミ界のクセ強者 (The Tricky Straight Man)	0	10th

​

Time	Card	Primary Culprit(s)	Secondary Culprit(s)	Description	Category
5:40:25	Safe	Daigo, Kurochan		["Stick to your mustache"]: Kurochan drinks milk, when told by Daigo "It'll stick to your mustache" he drinks it in one gulp and it doesn't stick to his mustache. Daigo laughs first, Nobu judged safe.	Boke
5:02:50	Yellow	(self)	Fujimoto	Daigo and Nobu accidentally get into a pose that Nobu explains looks like they're "young actors doing a photoshoot". He poses with Fujimon, who shrugs him off. Nobu laughs as everyone looks at him, just from setting up the joke.	Self-destruct
3:51:53	Orange	kukky		The famous "Kaan!" laugh. kukky hands out collectible photos of Master Daisuke with obscene phrases. Nobu tries to hold it in, making goofy faces as he does, but the normal phrase "I'm gonna buy some Yomeishu" hits him "like a body blow", and he lets out a laugh with a "Kaan!" sound.	Explosive, Lost Endurance, Coup de grace, Prop
2:59:42	Red	Iio, Fujimoto		Iio pulls out his oogiri responses, and it turns into an oogiri game with Fujimoto playing support, revealing the Nishizawa's phone case of Master Sakata, "say a word for this photo" (写真で一言). After a series of attacks where Nobu gets weaker, Iio comes up with new responses (normal oogiri), the one that gets Nobu to crack is "I love you." (好きだ！).	Personal, Prop, Lost Endurance

​

Itoda Jun (井戸田潤)	Speed Wagon (スピードワゴン)	同情するなら笑いくれ (If You Feel Sorry For Me, Laugh)	0	7th

​

1:54:03	Yellow	Daigo	Miyasako	["The Nose"]: Miyasako makes everyone perform a gag to eat his steak. Daigo puts netting around his face with a hole cutout for the nose. "I'm here to play The Nose". Itoda and kukky checked, kukky is safe and Itoda gets a yellow for "defending himself too much like that".	Traditional, Absurd
29:56	Red	Nobu (zombie), Daigo (zombie), Miyasako		["Oh, I ended up pissing"]: Chidori performs their "ika nikan!?" standup (as Matsumoto points out, the exact same skit they performed the day before, at Lumine, at which Matsumoto's daughter laughed) naked, after which they talk about how Daigo was unable to get hard and in the end he wore a condom. Miyasako says he was afraid Daigo would end up pissing with the condom on, and Daigo says he can't piss either. As Miyasako turns away and holds in his laugher, Nobu begins pissing. Miyasako turns back around to see it and laughs hard - Itoda get caught up laughing too.	Vulgar, Unexpected

​

Fujimoto Toshifumi (藤本敏史)	Fujiwara (FUJIWARA)	ガヤ永久機関 (The Perennial Supporting Commedian)	2	5th

​

4:41:44	Yellow	Kurochan	(self)	Iio starts measuring in bananas, Kurochan starts performing various gags with bananas. Fujimoto eggs him on. Kurochan does a "Nipple beams, they point outwards, heart!" gag, and Fujimoto laughs because "he said outwards, but they're pointing sideways!".	Boke, Verbal
3:49	Red	Iio (zombie), Nobu (zombie)	Itoda (zombie), Miyasako (zombie)	The four zombies come in and do the fighting geezer factions skit (from 24-Hour No Laughing?), involving blowing air into Iio and Nobu's anuses. Fujimon laughs because of a combination of Iio farting (how could he do soemthing like that? after all these years (he's 48) as a pro?) and Nobu being unable to fart (if he can piss, why can't he fart?).	Vulgar, Unexpected, Absurd

​

kukky (くっきー)	Yaseibakudan (野性爆弾)	芸人殺し芸人 (The Comedian Killer)	[4	1st (survived, won on points)

​

5:23:42	Yellow	Fujimoto	(self)	During the group conversation on souvenirs, talking about edible chili oil. "Pengin Shokudo started it off." Cookie tries to go on the offensive by responding "Who "ur" that?" (ペンギン食堂？なんなら？). Fujimoto goes up to him and asks remember "throwable dumplings"? ("投げるシューマイって覚えてる？”), a completely made-up thing in response to the edible chili oil. Cookie laughs at the imagery.	Verbal, Unexpected, Absurd
1:54:03	Safe	Daigo	Miyasako	["The Nose"]	Traditional, Absurd

​

Kurosawa Kazuko (黒沢かずこ)	Morisantyu (森三中)	歌って踊れる肉塊 (She Sings, She Dances, And She's Chubby)	1	4th (survived, lost on points)

​

4:57:36	Yellow	(self), Nishizawa		Kurosawa goes around and feeds people pickled cucumbers, giving Nishizawa a "big load". He spits it out and Kurosawa laughs because it came out bigger then she expected, as he chewed it and it comes out mashed.	Self-destruct, Physical
4:51:19	Orange	(self)		"I want to pick up a man"... picks Itoda for her skit where comes home drunk and she plays the wife, but she smiles during the beginning of the skit (maybe too in character).	Self-destruct

​

Daigo (大悟)	Chidori (千鳥)	荒くれハニカミ坊主 (The Bashful Ruffian)	2	9th

​

5:40:25	Yellow	(self), Kurochan		["Stick to your mustache"]	Counter, Unexpected, ???
5:14:33	Orange	Miyasako		Miyasako brings out one squeaking rubber chicken, then brings out many and squeezes them all at the same time.	Prop, Absurd, Traditional
1:19:52	Red	kukky!, Kurosawa, Fujimoto, Mishizawa		The legendary foursome: Kurosawa sings, Fujimoto dances unwillingly with the gold leotard and the tattoo of his partner, Mishizawa joins in with his student looking for Puma wallet character, and finally kukky comes out as the Teddy Bear-chan, in his I <3 2 PARTY leotard. Matsumoto: "To be honest, he was laughing for a while." Daigo: "I made that face that said "What's so funny aobut this?" and kept that character.	Lost Endurance, Absurd, Passive, Warning

​

Iio Kazuki (飯尾和樹)	Zun (ずん)	関根流 正統系統者 (The Legitimate Successor of the Sekine Style)	1	8th

​

4:18:21	Yellow	Kurosawa		Kurosawa's Mao Daichi "Straddle Time!" ("あ！あ！お跨ぎさ！") skit, riding the rope. She continues singing it into the locker room, and the siren goes off. The contestants conclude Kurosawa laughed, but Matsumoto says it was Iio who was holding it in and could no longer. Iio says "it was the vibration on the rope when she rubbed it that got me".	Routine, Lost Endurance
2:23:22	Orange	(self)	Fujimoto, Kurosawa	Fujimoto places an (apricot pit?), Iio adds tabasco, Kurosawa picks it up with her mouth. What follows is a cycle of many members sucking it up and spitting it down. Iio sucks it up and is caught laughing, explaining "It was so slimy, I nearly vomited.".	Physical, Join in
1:04:54	Red	Miyasako		Miyasako comes out with a hard-on: "Who left this porn magazine here? In the middle of a serious battle?" The ability to get a hard-on in this situation impresses everyone, but Iio is the one whose face laughs.	Vulgar, Physical, Routine

​

Nishizawa Yusuke (西澤裕介)	Daian	不可思議ポーカーフェイス (The Mysterious Poker Face)	1	3rd (survived, lost on points)

​

3:42:57	Yellow	Miyasako	(self)	Nishizawa gives out phone cases with Yoshimoto masters, one of which is Master Osamu. Miyasako tells the story of how Master Osamu has an elevator in his house that's super slow. Have you ever been there? Goes like this... and imitates it. "Most natural laugh yet".	Personal

​

Kurochan (クロちゃん)	Yausda Dai Circus (安田大サーカス)	ドッキリ日本記録保持者 (The Most-Pranked Comedian in Japan)	2	2nd (survived, lost on points)

​

56:44	Yellow	kukky	Itoda, (self)	kukky is cleaning up Itoda's piss (after the members try to figure out what Kurochan's weak at and he replies with dirty jokes, like touching somebody's balls, and Itoda pisses after the stimulation of Miyasako touching his balls (and Fujimon beginning a chorus of Sora to kimi to no aida). Cookie cleans it up and Kurochan hands him one sheet of a paper towel. Cookie complains "Don't just hand me one sheet! If you hand me just one sheet I'll get piss on my hand" and Kurochan smiles as he thinks "Yeah, he'll get piss on him".	Lost Concentration, Tsukkomi, Verbal, ???

​

Miyasako Hiroyuki (宮迫博之)	Ameagari (ダイアン)	決死のオフホワイト芸人 (The Not-So-Faithful Do-Or-Die Comedian)	3	6

​

2:12:20	Yellow	kukky	Daigo	kukky puts on his Shinya Yamamoto makeup. Starts playing with Daigo, "the distance between Sigourney Weaver and the alien". kukky's skit involves acting slowly, playing with his dentures, putting them in Daigo's mouth, putting on sunglasses, pulling out a banana, putting the dentures in Daigo's mouth... the room is tense, but Miyasako is the first to break when kukky nibbles the tip of the banana but it comes out intact: "He didn't even get one bite!".	Lost Endurance, Coup de grace, Absurd, Passive
29:56	Red	Nobu (zombie), Daigo (zombie), Miyasako		["Oh, I ended up pissing"]	Vulgar, Unexpected, Explosive

​
FINAL WORDS:
COOKIE: "Is it really your anus?" （本当肛門に入れてる？） KUROCHAN: He mimicked me. (何か真似した。。。)

Been trying to “heal” after realizing how horrible growing up was for me for a while now. Stuck in the endless pit of grief right now and really don’t see any way out of it.
I uncovered all my repressed memories of emotional abuse and neglect from my parents. I remembered the rape I experienced when I was 10 that sent my life into a downward spiral that still keeps going. I’ve looked at my life and realized how I’ve just been reacting to it and basically just letting it pass by. But this doesn’t really help me do anything besides notice how bad things have gotten.
My therapist keeps telling me I should be proud of myself for surviving all of this but I can’t shake the feeling that surviving was a mistake. If I had known this is what surviving was I don’t think I would have bothered since it just hasn’t been worth it. All the joy and happiness was sucked out of me a long time ago and life is just a never ending slog now. I can’t enjoy relationships or amazing things that happen to me since they can’t do anything about this huge weight that other people just decided to throw on me. I’ve always felt that “black cloud” over me and now I know it’s absolutely huge and it’s never really going away. No matter what I do now I’ll never not be the kid who got raped and his parents never gave a crap about him.
Im just really tired of pretending I can get past any of this. I feel like one of those extras in an action movie. Like the background character that gets killed to show the hero that somewhere isn’t safe or whatever that didn’t even stay on screen long enough to get a name or personality. Now im sitting around waiting for my next scene but it’s never coming. Im not supposed to be around anymore and im just taking up space.
I dont know what im trying to say here I guess. Everyone keeps saying grieving eventually ends or things start to get better but have nothing for me to tell me how that even works besides it just magically happens. It just feels endless and overwhelming and that’s all it will ever be.

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500

★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822

★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616

⎯

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300

★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629

★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326

★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233

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★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110

★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840

★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784

★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759

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★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801

★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751

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★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156

★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544

★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318

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★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646

★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574

★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257

★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255

★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287

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★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461

★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436

★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353

★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212

★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127

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★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363

★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269

★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192

★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126

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★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412

★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227

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★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214

★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192

★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105

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★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216

★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198

★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111

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★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368

★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228

★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201

★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108

★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105

★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99

★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85

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★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127

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★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111

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★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146

★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168

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★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375

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★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137

★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608

★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305

★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

GLOVES

★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204

★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142

★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84

★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

⎯

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75

⎯

★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359

★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229

★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77

★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48

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★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733

★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292

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★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212

★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160

★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59

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★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62

WEAPONS

AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130

AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70

AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72

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AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81

AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79

AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79

AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68

StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55

⎯

Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623

Desert Eagle Emerald Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $241

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Printstream FT, B/O: $54

⎯

M4A1-S Blue Phosphor FN, B/O: $434

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Bright Water MW, B/O: $55

⎯

M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1465

M4A4 Asiimov BS, B/O: $55

M4A4 Hellfire MW, B/O: $50

⎯

USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $72

USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69

StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $139

⎯

AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $234

P90 Run and Hide FT, B/O: $147

Five-SeveN Candy Apple FN, B/O: $61

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. 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Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - 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So long story short, my RN case manager lied to me about my doctor being paid. Workers comp hasn't paid him in a year. After workers comp cut off my benefits, I was told I had to pay $2800 before I could be seen. This doctors expertise is in my injury, is a pit bull in court, and my feeling is this was done on purpose by my RN case manager so I couldn't see him anymore.
This really sounds like neglect and I know it's possibly a reach but also patient abandonment. My legal counsel is aware, but wondering if I should report her to the state board?
Has anyone else had this happen?

[F] Jocoby Malor
994 .M41 - Torian sector; Plotesian Sub
The Bane of Foes, a colossal strike cruiser, sailed through the warp like a leviathan of the sea. The ship, as vast as a celestial metropolis, sailed through the clawing, shrieking madness of tortured non-reality. Its gellar field, a supernatural armor, protected the vessel from the grips of phantasmal beasts and unborn nightmare horrors.
Studded along this behemoth's titanic form were macrocannons. Double-edged like a sword, they flanked the ship, five to each side. This bulky planet destroyer, a testament to the gothic fury of the Imperium, held the capacity to tear asunder ships twice its size - a feat it had enacted on numerous war fronts within the depths of the Torian sector. Nestled beneath it lay orbital gun platforms, divine instruments of judgment designed to reduce cities to cinders. Fusion beamers, lascannons, railguns - all primed, all thirsty for the blood of the God Emperor's foes. The Bane was poised and ready for battle as it sailed towards the planet of Nialos Prime. It stood ready to enact divine retribution of the throne.
Within this monolithic beast, servitors labored in the hull, walked the gantries, and codified the data. These grotesque hybrids of flesh and machine labored without end, tireless drones who analyzed vast reams of data and shifted munitions, several tons in weight, to the ship's weapon batteries. Serfs, the fallen aspirants of the Trioris Valorum, navigated this frenetic chaos with a practiced ease, born of long servitude. Cloaked in cream-colored robes, they were entrusted with the sacred rites within the strike cruiser - from honing enormous swords twice their size in weight and height, to inscribing bolt shells with holy prayers of deference and hate to the God Emperor.
In the landing bay stood the Astartes, Space Marines! Humanity's stalwart guardians and the lantern bearers in this age of cosmic darkness. Each one was a walking testament to war. Humans reborn by gene science and baptized in the furious flames of battle, were holding at bay the monstrous terrors of the galaxy.
Five full squads were formed in disciplined rows, their poise echoing the martial precision of an army of angels. Jacoby Malor and his squad brothers of the Knights Of Valor Chapter stood ready for their debriefing and prayer ritual - an old and venerated fraternity, These Knights were tempered in the hearth of ceaseless battle and honed into a killing edge.
The bay itself was also a hallowed sanctum for those embarking into the jaws of death. Flickering candles and braziers filled with potent incense transformed it into a cathedral of imminent battle. Serfs chanted in High Gothic, their voices rising in a litany of war and honor. In a panoply of lightning yellow and stormcloud gray, the serfs attended to each warrior's power armor with devotion. Deftly anointing the Aquilas on their breastplates with twice blessed oil, stamping purity seals and the oaths of moment to shoulder guards, and securing the tools of wrath to their waists.
Jacoby was attached to Tactical Squad Numion, designation: Bladed Light. The fourth squad within the Third Battle Company. Led by Brother Sergeant Simon Traegle, his brothers in arms, a ten-man squad, carried their own legacy of battle within the contingent.
There in front, stood Lance Fultar. He had been with the squad since before the Sergeant was honored with his current role. He was the Sergeant’s second and the banner bearer for the squad. Aloft on his power pack was the banner itself, obsidian like the void. In the middle of the ancient, heavy fabric was a sword pointing to the heavens. Achievements were written in exquisite scrawl design on the blade's length, depicting the deeds the squad took part in throughout its centuries of service. Angels in gray robes were on either side of the tapestry. One hand raised to blare a horn while the other gripped a shining sword the color of citrine hilt down. A laurel wreath with a gold ribbon above it surrounded the sword's tip. The ribbon had the words “Duty Unto Death” stenciled in bold High Gothic. There, to his front right was Travis Hoatepion, heavy weapons and explosives expert, his Heavy Bolter held in both gauntlets. He led two other heavy weapon specialists within the formation. Saulinious Fugïr and Paul Rottly, who held Plasma Cannon and Multi Melta, respectively. To either side of Jacoby were Johan Holt and Caspian Hellteris, his Faetutiuos Coditum, his Fate's Companions. They began together as aspirants. They trained together as neophytes. Now, they fight together as full-blooded Astartes. For, in the fifty-six years of warring together, this would be their first time serving in an actual Blade squadron. No more sensoria scenarios. No more live-fire exercises. The yoke was off, and he was glad to have his Fated by his side in this action.
Serfs crescendoed in their dirge as three more giants walked into the bay from a side hatch. Their steps were heavy enough to shake the braziers and flicker the candles in their stands. With a final note of solemnity, the serfs stepped back behind the formation and filed out as the trio continued forward.
To the right of the trio was Steward Romero. One of five war priests who held the chronicles and deeds of the chapter. Skull helmet on and in all black, save for his left pauldron which held the chapter symbol, he came like a death that was promised - a living legend and spiritual guide, he would stoke the flames of hate when the time for battle commenced.
To the left was Blade Saint Chrolorian Rex. Company champion and hero, even to the Astartes assembled, was regal in his manner. Smooth, flowing, every swaggering step speaking to his skill as a bladesman. His power armor was richly adorned and ornate with battle honors, his very being seemed to glow with a radiant gleam. His broadsword, Indominus Valorus, hung behind his back just as he hung behind his Fated.
That fated brother was Captain Kylen Rostone, centermost in the trio. Liege lord and commander of the company. His half cloak was draped over his right side. The powered longsword, Wrath, was scabbarded and hung on the same side. His left arm, as if dipped in its substance, gleamed silver displaying the Deathwatch iconography in bold italics on the same shoulder guard. Command radiated off of him as he continued forward.
All three came to a halt in front of the formations of battle-hardened killers. The Captain, with his helmet under one arm, took his time scrutinizing his warriors. His face was relaxed, yet firm. Like old leather, it was creased and pitted with age. A scar ran diagonally from his forehead to jaw line. All those details were rendered moot compared to his eyes. Emerald bright, his rich green gaze landed on each of his warriors' helm-lens, searching for doubt or a lack of resolve, and they stared back in turn. Fervor evident in the way they tightened their fingers around their weapons and the slight puffing out of chests. Seeing this he gave a small nod and began to speak.
"My Brothers, one knee!” Captain Kylen's voice boomed. His rich baritone reverberated like the tolling of a cathedral bell. As one, his battle brothers knelt before their lord, servo joints grinding with the simple motion. The Captain blinked and data was revealed as he spoke. “A Terran month ago, our chapter received a distress call requesting immediate deliverance from a cult of Tyranid breed xenos erupting within the Fortress world of Nialos prime and are, at this very moment, harrying loyal sons and daughters of our blessed Imperium.” Inside Jacoby’s helmet, a world started to revolve in his eyes, data spooling to the side of the turning sphere.
The Captain continued; “They have been fighting this protracted and planet-wide war that grows increasingly bitter as time presses on. To us, it has been three months of travel in the black sea. To them, five years of fighting without cease or respite.”
The Captain blinked and the data changed within all their helms. What was a world spinning with color, now soured to just a malignant purple. To Jacoby, it was like seeing a fruit putrefy in real time. Mortis runes appeared over the majority of the world's surface, denoting enemy-held territory while Aquila runes stamped themselves on the map in their visor displays. Five loyalist-held bastions formed a horseshoe along the east coast of the continent Granddita. Gold against the purple. ‘Light against the dark’ Jacoby thought.
“This is our last update, with 80% of the world firmly in the hands of these apostates.” The Captain continued, his voice swelling with tightly controlled intensity. “These five bastions are what's left of the defiance against the unclean. They would kill this world and offer it up to their false alien god! We will deny them! Deny them of their pagan rituals! Deny them their conquest! Deny them their lives! You! My brothers will add your support to this undertaking. We expect heavy resistance upon translation. Your duty will be to take out the anti aerial batteries on these coordinates.” The Captain blinked and data spooled. “Purge the taint where you find it, clear the areas, and let us bring righteous wrath and fury to these scum!”
“To your valor, my kin! We translate within the hour.” With his speech concluded and orders deliberated, the Captain stepped back as death stepped forward. Steward Romero raised his hands to chest height, Imperial Rosary in one gauntlet, and his Crozius Arcanum in the other. “Let us pray.” He intoned.

I'll start with a few of mine!
You can hold down CTRL and mouse wheel up or down to control the in game speed. I embarassingly didn't know this for my first couple playthroughs.
It's possible to buffer some abilities, like Premeditation, when you know you're going to fight. The potential to use it will stay active while it goes on CD and this makes getting another one off a couple turns quicker a piece of cake.
If you're a crafter, you can get blueprints for items you'll never use, like guns on a psi character, and put the individual pieces you find in a dungeon together. They will almost always sell for more than what you can loot from dead enemies.
Completing the Gauntlet can actually be really easy even if you're slow, if you have some TM. You can Stasis when you hear the electricity coming in the final map, live through it, and then go flip the switch yourself to kill your opponents and "win."
Speaking of electric floors, you can manually enter combat and wait for all of the electricity to pass you by, then use your full MP and AP to get wherever you need to go. The combat trick also works for capturing hoppers.
You can cheese the Beast fight even at really low levels on DOM. 5-8 gas grenades and 40 or so bear traps in the pit and on the stairs, with Saban and Dan helping you, makes it a cakewalk and the full quest gives you an easy couple levels of XP with basically no combat.

(Originally tried posting to AsianMasculinity but got rejected)
I’m kind of tired of posting about this clown but wanted to share a small W with you guys today:
So as you all know, there was a streamer “Johnny”, who made a scene on the train in Japan, by being very disrespectful and saying disrespectful things.
While we Asians forced a public apology out of him the other day, it seems (unsurprisingly) that he wasn’t actually sorry.
He took the apology down from his Youtube and continued being a clown in Japan, playing racist music about “sucky sucky long time” on the streets of Japan:
https://twitter.com/suspendas_kick/status/1663853434477633536
Not sure what’s going through this guy’s head. But sometimes “words” don’t work and “alternatives” need to be considered.
FYI I’m not advocating for violence, but just a little self-respect in certain situations, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, a “self-respecting Asian” visited Johnny during his livestreaming today in Japan. And let’s say that this Asian gave Johnny a little “tap” in the face:
https://twitter.com/korboybeats/status/1663859741263818759
Now hypothetically, if someone were being very disrespectful to me / people like me – as in totally crossing the line, I would probably give said person a bit more than a “tap in the face”.
And I know the keyboard warriors are gonna come out in the comments saying the same, but not actually do anything, such as confront someone in person, fly out to Asia to call someone out publicly, etc.
But anyway, IMO, this “self-respecting” “tap in the face” is still a W for Asians, since Asians usually do nothing in the face of blatant disrespect, as we all know.
Times are changing though, which is good.
Sidenote: Johnny’s reaction (“chill bro!” “stop bro!”) was hilarious 🤣.
It actually reminds me of this clip I saw recently where some Asian girls are getting smacked for whatever reason. The one girl is recording with her phone, WHILE GETTING SMACKED, and saying “chill bruh!” 💀
Now I’m not harassing anyone, but hypothetically – if someone is getting physical with you, and your IMMEDIATE REACTION is to pull out the phone and say “AYO CHILL BRUH” you’re a p*ssy 😂
You have to realize that if someone is getting physical with you, you have every right to defend yourself and you HAVE TO defend yourself.
For those of you who have never been in a physical altercation before, I’ll explain:
You have NO IDEA what the attacker’s intentions are.
They might just be harassing you e.g. slap in the face and talking some shit.
Or they might actually be trying to seriously harm, if not kill you.
So your immediate reaction should be to defend yourself, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
There is no such thing as "bar fight Bushido".
No rules, no strikes are prohibited, no fair fight 1 on 1, "hypothetical" weapons may "appear in your hand", etc.
And sometimes “defense” means RUNNING AS FAST AS YOU CAN. Especially if you’re outnumbered. Even if you aren’t immediately outnumbered, you never know if the attacker has friends coming around the corner, is about to pull a weapon on you (especially these days, so many people are carrying shit), etc.
But sometimes “self-defense” (armed or unarmed) is the only option to get out of a sticky situation.
And if you are an Asian living in the US or some other unsafe country, which is also hostile towards Asians:
YOU NEED TO HIT THE FIGHT GYM.
IMO most people are not born with the warrior instinct where once they get hit, their first reaction is to hit back or defend themselves.
Most people do stuff like close their eyes, say “AYO CHILL BRUH!”, or some other thing that doesn’t help.
Therefore, you need to train this self-defense instinct (e.g. not closing your eyes, hitting back if necessary, etc.) by hitting the fight gym. Boxing is probably the most practical with Muay Thai being ok, too. But the latter probably emphasizes kicks too much
DO NOT do something like BJJ if you only have to pick one. Pick a striking martial art like boxing or Muay Thai. If you don’t understand why, use your brain for 5 seconds and think about why something like boxing is better than BJJ for the streets (fight sports aka competitive MMA or BJJ is different)
(Saying the above because BJJ seems to be trendy)
Anyway, I remember hearing someone say something along the lines of:
“You find out what you’re truly made of when you get hit in the face for the first time”.
And some of you suburb, boba tea Asians probably are thinking, “man this guy is crazy. Nothing bad will ever happen to me”
The thing is, you don’t need to know how to fight… until you do.
And that difference can literally mean life or death in some situations.
And even if you are from the suburbs, even the suburbs are f*cked these days - based on what I hear from people in the (US) suburbs. (Hard) drugs, carjackings, some shootings, etc. Maybe not as bad as the city but still night and day compared to even a few years ago
Anyway back to the topic of the post.
Props to the Japanese guy in the video for “having self-respect”. His “self-respect” benefits all Asians, no matter what ethnicity they are. (Non-Asians just all think we’re Chinese)
Though Johnny posted on his Twitter that the Japanese guy is being detained.
I’m not sure if that’s the case, but I wouldn’t be surprised, considering how cucked most Asians are. Not to mention countries like Japan, South Korea, etc. are US colonies in everything but name.
If the Japanese guy is actually in trouble though, us Asians need to get his back. Even if our governments and police are completely cucked and in the hands of “the enemy”, “self-respecting” Asians who hold it down for the rest of us need to know that the Asian people have their backs.
If it ends up that the guy is in trouble, we gotta find out his info and setup Gofundme or whatever.
I’ll personally be donating $100 (or more, depending on how much the legal fees are) if the Japanese guy needs help. I hope you all will do the same. Otherwise, you are part of the problem.
In summary, “self-respect” is the way to “stop Asian hate” not recording yourself getting smacked saying, “AYO CHILL BRUH!”, telling the teacher, calling the US police, etc.
Video formats of this post (Tiktok, Youtube):
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSLNLjvQw/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K48dldpRzlw
P.S. I am saying certain things “diplomatically” here, so I don’t get banned, censored, etc. Cuz I know some of you keyboard UFC champions are gonna start saying shit in the comments

Mikey rolled his shoulder as he stepped out of the building. Ooh! That's gonna hurt in the morning! He thought, as he felt a twinge in his upper arm. He had had a good day and felt like pushing a little harder at the gym, and now he was paying the price of his hubris. It was a good pain though, it meant he had pushed his limits and in a few days he would be stronger for it, that's why you went to the gym after all. Turning west, he started to jog home. This was both the best and worst part of his workout. Best because it was the end, one last stretch and he was home. Worst because it would be sooooo easy to just slow down. Alex was exhausted from the workout, and try as he might, he couldn't seem to convince his legs that they did in fact want a cool down after a workout, but this wasn't a democracy, so screw their opinions.
.....
Meanwhile
Culleo backpedaled as a large panther snapped at him, a hairs breadth out of harms way. A panicked sweep of his rapier knicked the cat's face and kept it at bay, and he used the opening to risk a bit of magic. "Ignum Faciunt!" He tried to roar, but it came out more as a wheeze. Flames burst forth from his hand, but were a flicker compared to what he had done before. It was a massive stroke of luck that the Panther had chosen that moment to renew its attack, lunging with its gaping maw, and literally ate the flames. It was the cat's turn to step back and wheeze, and Culleo's to press the attack, but he could hardly move. Cursed abyss, I'm almost done he went into this battle with a desperate plan, by holding off on summoning his familiar the battle would start at a disadvantage, but bringing it out later would give an advantage in both numbers and a fresh ally. This would have been the perfect opportunity, he just needed to finish off the enemy familiar and complete the summoning. That would turn the battle from a 3v4 to a 4v3. As his legs gave out from under him however, he knew he had failed. This was his idea, he had pushed his team to take the risk, and how here he was, struggling to stay on his knees when the others needed him.
Suddenly the beast jerked, and Culleo saw a knife in its chest that hadn't been there before. Kellista, busy as she was, gave Culleo a reminder that being reliable was a two way street. Sure, the thrown knife was probably meant to kill the panther rather than give him a lesson in the power of friendship, but he still appreciated the gesture.
As the cat disappeared, sent back to wherever it was summoned from, Culleo took mental stock of the situation. He was bleeding, exhausted and low on mana, but he still had enough for his summoning spell. Kellista was covered in wounds from the one on one she was having against Kalivine, who in turn was hardly winded after summoning the Panther and was taking his time as he toyed with Kellista, who wasn't going to be standing much longer either.
Turri's battle was the only one seeming to go in their favour. His fast reflexes and powerful strikes combined with a fighting style that flipped between offense and defense had let him keep the two Lycs busy. Culleo actually considered being mad at him for just a moment. He knew the guy for years! Turri was a goof, and a lazy one at that! Oh but now he's just a mixed martial artist and a metalburner!? How long has he been able to do that!? When Turri had joined their side Culleo thought he would be the weak link, but it was only because of him pulling double duty that Culleo's plan even had a chance of working.
Even with that advantage, Culleo was becoming less and less sure that it would work. The energy needed to summon his own monster would definitely put him out of the fight, and Kalivine wasn't nearly as tired as he had hoped, and the two Lyc, while definitely hurting, weren't out of the fight. Still, this was the plan, and Culleo couldn't think of anything else. That uphill battle had to count for something, and it was up to him to make sure it did.
'Exire Amicum Eligo. Just focus on those three words' Culleo kept repeating his mental mantra as he began one last casting. "Exi-" He coughed, the effort already unbearable. "Exire..." He took a slow, deep breath. Kellista was dropped to a knee as she attempted to parry a crushing blow. "Amicum" Turri overextended, and took a bloody gash on his arm. Culleo just kept pushing. Exire Amicum Eligo. One last word. Just get it out. Culleo opened his mouth. Kellista rolled away from another swing that would have broken bones. "E...el..." His mouth made the correct movements, but no sound came out. His body just had no more to give. No. One... Last... Step...! Pulling on what little mental strength would still come, he forced the spell out!
But only a gasp came. He was done, no matter how mad he was about it, there was simply no more strength in his limbs. All that for- wait! The spell... had somehow worked...? Culleo felt the last vestiges of mana leave his body and saw the matrix form. He had done it! Help was on the way!
.....
Only a few minutes later, Mike had gotten his second wind and was hitting his stride. The wind was at his back, cloud cover kept the sun at bay and his headphones were jamming. This was a good day. Kinda wish I hit my timer, I could hit a record! As the beat dropped, Mike put on another burst of speed and went all out. His blood was really pumping now, but he knew that he could easily tire out before he made it home. That's the thing about long distance running, speed is almost irrelevant, you have to keep pace and focus on a steady rhythm so you don't wear yourself out. But today? No. Mike was pushing limits. he could do a hard run all the way home, he just needed to prove it. His usual path wouldn't allow that however, it would only take one red light at a street crossing and he would lose all his steam, and he would pass at least a couple, so he took an early left and cut through the forest in the middle of town.
Man, Micheal was in the Zone! Running flat out, perfect weather, great music and he was going off road! Today was the-Ow! What the heck!? Michael's mood was immediately soured as he tripped over something. Mike stopped his run and looked around, but his path was clear? Wait, there was a rock in the middle of it! No wait, it's gone again... Michael waved a hand in front of his face and was immediately concerned with the fact that he couldn't see it. "Oh no. Am I seeing blind spots!?" He was saved from further consideration as the rest of his vision lost focus and he couldn't see anything, but definitely wasn't blind? It was hard to describe, but he didn't need to, because his sight suddenly returned. Mikey wasn't sure that was a blessing though, because he found himself staring down an honest to god dragon.
Yeah that good mood was well and truly gone.
.....
Kalivine turned his attention to the familiar Culleo just summoned, forgetting Kellista, who was grateful for the respite, and took up a defensive stance. What was that? The bipedal creature was small, but not as much as the smaller races, and didn't seem to have any hide, it's pale skin was exposed to the elements. It had no scales and was completely featherless. Fur? Sure, but only on the top of its head. Was it some naked, juvenile Lyc? No, it didn't have a snout. Kalivine snarled and widened his stance. What was this thing? It made eye contact with him as soon as it was summoned but otherwise was as still as death. As he stared at it an uneasy feeling grew in the pit of his stomach. It just wouldn't move. Kal would have thought it a statue of it hadn't made eye contact. Was the thing waiting for his attack? He had never encountered one of these things and knew better than to underestimate a new opponent, so he had no intention of giving it an opening.
The battle came to an uneasy ceasefire, as everyone looked at Culleo's familiar. It still didn't move, but it's eyes scanned each one of them. Lirren, the older of the two Lycs broke the silence. "What is that?" The familiar instantly zeroed in on him, its head moving like lightning, causing Lirren to take a defensive stance. Kalivine shifted his focus to Culleo, who had collapsed from exhaustion and was only now starting to pick himself up. "Well?" Kal asked. "Whh... Wheeze... Wha... I-..." The kobold struggled to speak. "dunno... Thought... It'd be..." He gulped and took a moment to regain his breath. "My salamander." He coughed out. The summoned creature had turned its attention to Culleo by now, turning it's back on Kalivine, the Lycs and Turri. " Culleo looked up to the being and issued a command. "Attack."
Everyone tensed, readying themselves for the battle, but the creature didn't move. That was bad.
When summoning familiars, there are two possibilities; first is summoning a specific creature you have a contract with. You form a bond, make agreements and have an ally you know and can rely on. The second summons a random creature that meets a specific criteria. The spell seeks a being of sufficient power, a willingness to act and a lack of aggression to the summoner, and 'offers' the chance to be summoned. Should the creature consent it would be summoned and given the mana in the spell for its trouble. In exchange it would be bound to the will of the summoner and would follow their command for the duration of the spell.
The fact that this creature hadn't done as instructed meant that for whatever reason, it was deemed safe by the spell and allowed itself to be summoned, but resisted the geas. Only something powerful could do that, and only something devious would do that.
.....
Michael was frozen in place. That was a dragon. A freaking DRAGON was snarling at him close enough he felt its breath on his face! Mike didn't move a muscle as the thing sized him up. A deep growl emanated from the living legend as it slowly stepped back. Ooooookaaaaaay, it hasn't killed me yet, I suppose that's good? Even his internal monologue had a shaky voice. Mike slowly looked around and Oh great, a couple of werewolves were staring him down like their next meal, along with a giant hawk with wicked looking talons. Mike never would have thought that being teleported would be a distant second in terms of importance, but there were actually bigger things on his mind. he found himself in a field surrounded by buildings, none of which he even recognized the style of, and not the thickets he was running through a minute ago. "Tahw si taht." Michael nearly jumped out of his skin when one of the werewolves spoke! The thing looked just about ready to rip him apart, so just about all of his focus was going towards not giving it a reason. The dragon clearly responded, though its voice was so low he couldn't make out what it said. Not that he needed to, they were clearly making quips about their latest meal, probably something about how good fear tastes. Suddenly a third, weaker voice came from behind. 'Aww no am I *surrounded!? '* Mike spun around to see... A pair of kobolds? Both were bloodied and on their knees. Wait, just what situation had he managed to insert himself in? As his eyes landed on the one that was, well, trying to speak, he felt a need to help the small creature. He didn't move though, there was still a literal DRAGON breathing down his neck! Had he mentioned that part? The dragon? Because there was one right there!
Something perceptibly changed in the kobolds tone as it said one last word. "kcatta!" It muttered, and everything- everyone? Sure, everyone. Everyone tensed, even Mike felt the need to fight, but nobody actually moved. After yet another staredown, Michael felt like he should make sure nobody was actually about to eat him.
Slowly, he unshouldered his gym bag and set it down. Raising both hands to show he slowly started speaking. "Uhh, hi. What exactly is- gahh!" The chatty kobold made a sweeping motion with its hand and suddenly Michael's vision was messed up again. Good god that was unpleasant! A pins and needles feeling filled in the blind spots in his eyes, but somehow he also didn't feel anything? Either way it sucked! With vision again clear, Mikey saw that he was back in the forest, and so promptly fell on his arse as he rubbed at his eyes.
What just happened!? 'Oh I'll tell you what happened! I was blinded, magically teleported onto a DRAGONS dinner plate, threatened by a werewolf, blinded again and sent back because screw you!' Mike mentally screamed for no one to hear. The worst part was that there was nobody else! That just happened and he had no proof about it so hey! Here's a secret I'll have to take to my grave because if I don't I will be labeled a madman! Wonderful!
After sitting and stewing for a few seconds, Mikey took a breath, calmed down, and took a look at his situation. 'this started with me jogging. I took a path in the woods, tripped on a rock and saw a dragon... DID that happen?' the possibility that he just bumped his head suddenly came to mind. He started to feel around his head and skull, but there was no bleeding, no bruise, nothing. He was fine. Did he catch himself on a hallucinogenic plant? He did have a small scrape on his leg that had caught on a twig. There was really no way he could tell. Yeah it was unlikely that a scrape made him see that, but so was actually seeing it. Whatever. Mike reached for his bag and, oh no he dropped it in front of the dragon! He briefly entertained the idea that he had forgotten it at the gym, but he still felt the change in pressure on his shoulder, and looking at it he could still see the imprint on his skin. He had brought his bag but it wasn't here now, and looking at the ground there weren't anybody else's prints, so nobody could have looted his body. That confirmed it, Michael had officially been to dragon land.
Luckily Michael wasn't too attached to the bag. The thing was old and he was planning on replacing it anyway. All that was in it was a change of clothes, the gym pass which could be replaced, -"no, wait! my knife!" Dang it! That thing wasn't cheap! It was a high end omni tool that he took everywhere with him, it cost hundreds of dollars! He checked his pockets, "wallet, phone... That's just great." He sighed to himself. It wasn't actually that much of a loss, he rarely used the knife, it was more of an impulse buy. Something cool he didn't need, and he still had perfectly functional older knives at home. Dejectedly, he reached into his pocket again before realizing... No!... He checked his other pockets, already knowing they were empty but this just couldn't be! The bag of chocolates was in there too! Overcome with grief, Michael slowly sank to his knees and pounded the earth with his fists. "THERE IS NO GOD!"
____________________________________________________Authors note
Hello everyone! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my first book! I'm getting back into writing for the first time in a while, so any advice and critiques would be greatly appreciated! If all goes well I'll be uploading once a week, so I hope to see you then!

This query is for a book I recently started working on but isn't finished yet. I thought I'd try the advice I've heard about writing the query before the book--which ended up being so much easier than writing one after the book.
I'm thinking this would fall in the thriller category, but please let me know if you think another genre fits better or if anything isn't making sense. I also would love any suggestions for comp titles, as I need to read a little more in this genre now.
Dear:
(Personalization) I am excited to present my YA thriller RECLAIM. Complete at 80K words, RECLAIM is like the hit Netflix show Ginny and Georgia meets ( I need another comp)
With the help of her emotional support dog and a little therapy, Seventeen-year-old Riley is doing all right. She’s about to graduate high school and helps her foster mom run an animal rescue. Riley’s made peace with the mysteries of her past. She no longer wonders why her mother chose the life of a fugitive over her children. And she’s mostly stopped worrying about her half-brother Declan whose adoptive family kicked Riley out of his life.
Riley has the past tamped down like a rock in the dirt. That is until the police show up and tell her that thirteen-year-old Declan is missing and his adoptive family isn’t as perfect as they seemed. After an online search turns up diddlysquat, Riley posts a plea on TikTok for Declan to find her. Declan doesn’t answer. But her mother, who Riley hasn't heard from in five years, does, and she thinks she knows where Declan might be and the danger he is in if she is right.
With no better options, Riley and her dog team up with her mother. Together they revisit the places and people from their family’s past and hatch a plan to save Declan from the real people responsible for breaking up Riley’s family—the people who framed her mother for a crime she didn’t commit.
I am a clinical social worker and work closely with child protection, law enforcement, and the foster care system. I am a member of several online writing communities and the (name of) writing workshop. When I'm not writing, I enjoy gardening and playing with my kids. RECLAIM is my debut novel.
1st 300 words.
Miranda glances at her phone and then at me. The laugh lines around her light brown eyes sharpen. She’s worried. Last night, an emaciated retriever mix came into the shelter, and I hope it isn’t the vet with bad news. She excuses herself from the table we have set up at the Minnesota Humane Society’s Walk for Animals to take the call.
“Rescue dogs for rescue people?” A woman with shoulder-length green hair and a black leather jacket reads the logo for Miranda’s Mutts Animal Rescue. “That sounds awesome. Rosie here is a rescue too.” She ruffles the fur of a small poodle mix. “But I guess she really rescued me.”
“Same with me and Mama D.” I rub my thumb along a black spot on my pit bull’s ear. Her tail thumps against the grass, smashing a dandelion that picked the wrong spot to grow.
The woman tells me about her dog, and I debate which part of our origin story I could share to get her to donate. Earlier, I told an Iraq War veteran about how my foster mom, Miranda, is a retired cop who trains emotional support dogs. He donated a hundred bucks. This lady doesn’t seem like she’d be impressed by cops. Maybe if I tell her I’m a foster kid, a rescue just like my dog, she’d feel generous. Nah, I don’t feel like going there right now. Instead, I say, “Mama D was found when a dog fighting ring was taken down. She had six newborn puppies in a little shed with no food or water.”
“What?” The woman gasps. Mama D smiles up at me, her tongue hanging out the side of her broad mouth. I wish I could train her to look pitiful on command since we’d probably get more donations that way. I share a little more, “She had heartworm too and had to have shots every day for a month, it was real expensive, but we never give up on a dog.” That last part wasn’t actually true about Mama D, but it was about another dog we helped and shows what we do with the money, so I only feel a little bad about lying.

I am not the Original Poster. That was u/throwRA_rorotheMIL. She then created a second account: u/Throwawaydisownedson. She posted in relationship_advice, AmItheAsshole and legaladvice. And her own page.
I had changed letters to names in the previous BORU post here. I used those same names in her update posts for clarity.
Trigger Warning: pre-eclampsia, threatening suicide, psychiatric facility
Mood Spoiler: maddening and wtf
New Updates are marked with *****\*
Original Post: March 9, 2023
Title: My (F 50) Daughter in law (24F) gave birth and doesn't seem to want a relationship with me, making it difficult to have a relationship with my son (31M) and new granddaughter
Hello Reddit, TLDR: I'm looking for advice on how to build a relationship with my daughter in law, and get over the rift she's causing since giving birth.
My son (David, 31) has been married to my daughter in law (Bea, 24?) since September of 2020. Due to the pandemic I never really got to know her because they only dated for about a year before they got married, and I didn't know about her until they had dated for about 6 months.
I love my son very much, but I feel like our relationship has been rocky since they git married. He has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 10, and since they got together I haven't had the same relationship with her. I know this is partially because he moved out of my house (very suddenly without really saying anything I may add), and I no longer get her on his weekends. I try to get them to bring her to visit when they have her, but usually I only see her once a month or so, and lately it has felt like she has been more distant when she visits. I think this is because Bea says negative things about me around her, and I find that unfair.
They just had a baby at the end of January. She was induced due to pre eclampsia and in labor for 3 days before having a c section. I had been in an accident a few weeks prior and don't have a vehicle, and my son refused to pick me up to be there for the labor at all or to see the baby in the hospital, but her parents got to see the baby and were in the parking lot the entire time. I called him while she was in labor a few times, but on the second day after her water broke I called him and heard her snap at him to get off the phone and he refused to accept any calls after that. I just wanted to know thst the three of them were okay though! She was in the hospital 2 days after the c section, and they wouldn't stop to visit me on their way home after the birth because she was hurting, even though she had pain killers she could have taken and she "didn't feel right" according to my son. This is when I became concerned she had PPD. My daughter ended up picking up her prescriptions and some groceries for them and got to see the baby that night (her and Bea have a relationship that is apparently pretty good).
I was supposed to visit a couple days after they got home, but she ended up insisting something was wrong and went back to the doctor who apparently sent her to the hospital. My son told me they diagnosed her with post partum preeclampsia, but I was pretty certain that that was only something that happened during pregnancy and went away after birth so I was pretty sure he was confused. The day after they admitted her again, 5 days after the baby being born with everyone meeting her but me, was my birthday. I called her around 8 that morning to see what was really going on but she didn't answer. A while later my son called me and wished me a happy birthday and asked why I had called Bea. I admit I snapped at him and said SHE should be returning my call, because I called HER. I hung up on him and maybe 5 minutes later she called me.
I told her she should have called me and that I wanted to hear her voice and hear from her what was going on since my son gets confused. I then asked her if this was a mental or physical issue, and she went silent before saying physical. I asked of she was sure, and she got kind of snippy and said they had padding on her bed because she was a seizure risk and she couldn't be alone with her newborn, so she was pretty sure. I didn't comment on her tone because I was sure she was stressed.
She was released her the next day, and they came and visited me while I was at my daughters watching her two kids on their way home so I could see the baby. I offered her some pillows to sit on (my son said she "basically gave birth both ways", even though I knew this wasn't true I wondered if she had some soreness that made him think this), and she refused my hospitality saying she was fine and felt pretty good.
Two weeks later my son picked me up and brought me to their home to visit. I stayed for a few hours, and she didn't really make any effort to talk to me. She was just quiet and sat on the couch. When my son took me home I asked why she was so unhospitable, and he said I had been rude while she was in the hospital. That she shouldn't have had to call me, and that I shouldn't have asked if it was a mental or physical problem because he had already told me it was physical. He also said I shouldn't have posted anything on Facebook before her about the baby being born, and that I was rude when he called to make me take it down. She doesn't post on social media very often so I didn't think it would be a big deal.
He hasn't picked me up to see the baby because he says he needs to be there to help with the baby, and they won't bring the baby to me because he says the baby isn't allowed in my house.
I told my son I'm planning to quit my job to babysit for them, but I haven't even gotten her return to work date and she hasn't once thanked me for doing it. Overall I feel like she's holding onto some very petty things and is using them to keep me from my son and granddaughters. I want a relationship with her, but I am missing some critical bonding time with the baby and I am going to struggle to forgive her for it. Especially over petty nonsense she won't even bring up to talk to me.
I'm really wanting to send a text and lay all my feelings out for her and just hash it out, but I understand there are probably cultural differences at play with all of this too, so I could use some advice on what to say.
Relevant Comment: (I took out some from my original BORU Post for length.)
Commenter: Lady, if you don't pull your head out of your ass, you're not going to be part of their lives at all. You're not owed nearly any of what you seem to think you are. When it comes to their baby, they don't owe you crap.

1. Your son had two priorities when his wife was in labor. His wife and their baby. Not you. He didn't have time to come pick you up or talk to you on the phone. Have you ever heard of a taxi cab?
2. She shouldn't have to take a pain pill just so they can stop by and see you on their way home. How incredibly selfish of you. They did the right thing and went straight home.
3. Are you seriously questioning a doctor's diagnosis? Do you really think it's appropriate to ask her if it's physical or mental? Are you mental?
4. You're lucky anyone called you back at all. They are tired and are learning how to care for their newborn and that is after your DIL had a complicated labor and delivery and complications after birth. No one has the emotional bandwidth to deal with your entitlement.
5. You inconvenienced your son and had him pick you up and drive you home. Again, taxi, Uber, Lyft were better options. Then you're complaining his wife, who is exhausted and still healing was inhospitable. I'm guessing she was saying plenty to you in her head but was to polite to actually verbalize it.
6. Do they even want you babysitting their baby? Did they actually ask this of you or did you just decree that this is what is happening?
7. You do not post baby news on Facebook without the parents permission. You were rude and overstepping.
8. If you want to send them a text, send them a sincere apology for being a pushy, entitled, pain in the ass and promise you'll behave better in the future.

OOP's response:
I'm a grandparent and do deserve to be in my grandchildrens life. I also deserve not to have my eldest granddaughter turned against me. Saying they owe me nothing is incorrect, and courts would agree with that. I love them both so I don't want it to come to that, but I am OWED that.

1. If he would have came the first night before she was in real labor he wouldn't have needed to talk to me. We don't have taxi cabs, and the uber would have been well put of my budget.
2. She refused to take any of the pain killers once discharged, period. That was selfish of her. And I had food for them too, so my son wouldn't have had to cook. It wasn't just for me to see the baby.
3. No, I was question if my son had the right information. He's relayed wrong things before.
4. I understand that from her perspective after reading some of the comments. However in my family it's just common to call back regardless especially after having a baby. I see it's a cultural difference.
5. I can't uber to where they live otherwise I would be there every day! If that was an option I woukd have definitely jumped on it instead of having him pick me up, but uber isn't I their tiny town.
6. I told my son after I heard Bea telling my daughter about her struggle to find reputable daycare without a year long wait and how she was scared for the safety of her baby. They won't have to worry if I watch her!
7. My son just said not to post pictures. I didn't realize announcing I was a grandma again woukd be a big deal. I deleted it.
8. I told my son I was sorry for hurting her feelings when he told me. I've always apologized to him when he's told me I've done something wrong in her eyes, whether I think it was wrong or not. I don't want to hurt her feelings ever. I want her to know she doesn't have to run to my son though, she can come to me. And I want a chance to explain myself to her.

Post in Legal Advice: March 24, 2023 (2 weeks later) (post is deleted)
I'm seeking advice on getting grandparent rights in Indiana. My son has two daughters with two different women. The oldest is 10, and he and her mother were never married (no custody agreement, they just have an informal agreement). The youngest is almost 2 months old, and he and her mother are married.
I was under the impression that any grandparent could petition for custody/visitation in the US, but the way I'm reading it I can't unless my son is incarcerated or they aren't married? Is this correct?
What do I need to do to seek joint custody of my granddaughters? What do I need to build a solid case? I've already tried resolving this without going this drastic, but his wife doesn't want to work with me.
Commenters point out that she does not qualify for grandparent's rights in this scenario- she saw them at Christmas and they have to able parents:
I was under the impression that grandparents rights were for when a parent is keeping a child from having a relationship with the grandparents? Visitation would be more then once every 3 months or once a month wouldn't it? I don't feel like there is much of a relationship left with any of them to torpedo. So if I sacrifice a relationship with them to have a relationship with my granddaughters that would be fine."People draw attention to her previous post and that she's angry her son moved out:
I CAN'T travel to them currently - if I could I would be over there as often as I could be. I have apologized even though I don't think I was wrong. If she felt slighted by anything I said I apologized for it. Really, though, I don't think it should matter. You don't use kids as pawns. I can have a relationship with my granddaughters without her - or I should be able to. That's what I thought grandparents rights were for. To make sure parents couldn't stop an essential relationship with grandparents without a damn good reason (like abuse, drug use, etc). Also. He didn't need my permission to move. I just didn't appreciate that he gave no indication he was leaving.
"I have apologized for everything she felt I did wrong, against my better judgement. I don't feel like I shoukd have to continue to beg. My son says shes not preventing me from seeing them and appreciates my apologies, but I still haven't seen my grandchildren."
Update Post: March 30, 2023 (3 weeks from OG post)
Well, I apologized to my daughter in law for all the things my son listed. Since I had received feedback about it being my son's job to "handle" his family I told him my apologies to pass along, and then I waited. However, I got no response from Bea. No thank you, no trying to bury the hatchet, nothing.
So, last Friday I made an appointment with an attorney to discuss grandparents rights and had that appointment on Tuesday. The lawyer told me I had a good chance with my older granddaughter, but would likely get no where with the baby. I filled out some paperwork to get the process started, but Tuesday night I was questioning if I was doing the right thing. I called one of my friends to discuss, and was seriously considering not moving forward with it after talking to her.
Then yesterday I received this message from Bea:
"[Me] this is [Bea] I just wanted to let you know that [friend] told us you're intending to go for grandparent rights, and also shared everything you've had to say about me. Let me first say that I have not once kept the either of the girls from you, and I certainly have not kept [son] from you. He is a grown ass man, and if he wanted to talk to you he was free to. You have not asked to come over and visit since [son] picked you up - you cannot expect us to 1- read your mind or 2 - drop everything and come pick you up. We have a new baby, and we have our own lives. I also have not said a word to you about what happened during delivery/postpartum, because I have no energy to argue with you. [Son] said you apologized, and I told him I appreciated it (even though it was NOT a real apology. You apologize for what you did to hurt my feelings, not that my feelings were hurt). I don't have time for your drama. For the record, though, what you said was absolutely disgusting. I almost died - it had nothing to do with my mental health. Since you have decided to go for grandparents rights, we will have no direct contact with you. All contact will need to go through our lawyer. You have been removed from my Facebook. You are not permitted to post any pictures you have been sent of my child on social media, and [older granddaughters mom] feels the same way regarding [older granddaughter]. We intend to have something written up by our and sent to you by the end of the week regarding this, and ceasing contact with us. I assume we will be servered with your visitation paperwork this week as well. You will get no pictures or phone calls going forward. In fact, you will be blocked.
I also hope you realize you will absolutely lose this case. Your house is not suitable to live in, and you would have to be able to pass a drug test. When you lose, we will not resume contact with you. You lost your chance at being apart of our kids lives by deciding to go to the most nuclear option instead of just communicating with us."
I tried to respond to her and tell her that I didn't want to go through with it anymore and I reacted pit of anger, but she wouldn't answer texts or calls - so I assume I really am blocked. I called my son to tell him about the text she sent, and he said he knew about it and it was a lot nicer then what he wanted to send me.
So, that's where I'm at at this point. I'm going to show my lawyer the text so that it can show how unwilling to forgive and to work with me she is, and hopefully it will resolve quickly so I can at least get visitation rights with my oldest granddaughter.
Edit to add: I dont appreciate the nasty messages I have received or the barrage of nasty comments. I admit I made a mistake, but now this is my only option. It's clear that most of the responses from reddit are from those of young people not from my generation, as I have gotten different responses in other online support groups from people my own age who are also grandparents, many from my own culture.
Relevant Comments: (I again removed some that were in my OG BORU post)
Ummm the drug test?
"She says that I would have to pass a drug test. I use medical marijuana to help with a chronic illness, but it is still illegal where I live."
"I am quitting entirely since this is a possibility [getting in trouble]."Why tf is your daughter a better mother?"Because they need to have better cultural examples. For instance, the oldest mother is also not from our culture/race, and her hair is very different from her daughters. She has no idea how to take care of her hair! It's always a mess. My daughter in law has taken some initiative in doing and styling her hair, but she's still not great at it. The girls need someone who can teach them how to handle basic things like taking care of their skin and hair. Oldest hair has been something I have encouraged them to let me handle long before daughter in law came into the picture. Not taking care of a child's hair is a form of neglect. My daughter knows how to do those things because her hair and skin are much closer to theirs and she can handle it with her own children."One last gem:
I dont feel I deserve to be treated better, but equal. We are both equally important in my son's life. She is obviously more important in her daughters life right now, but without me that baby wouldn't be here. I would drop the grandparents rights case if I wasn't cut off - I reacted out of anger and desperation, but now it's the only option since I'm cut off."
A few people pointed out there is a post that seems like it is from the daughter's perspective on JUSTNOMIL, but OOP of that post has requested it not be re-shared. It has also been deleted.
However, some highlights include:
- MIL threatens suicide because "they turned the whole family against her and won't let her see her granddaughters." Is placed in psychiatric care for 72 hours and released.
- MIL called CPS and said they were starving and neglecting their infant. CPS had to show up.
- MIL also says OOP is holding her husband hostage and police show up
- Thankfully the police and CPS see there is nothing wrong and all charges are dropped
- OOP states she and husband are going to try to move
******NEW Post: May 22, 2023 (2.5 months from OG Post. New Username)****\*
Title: AITA for removing my son from my will after our relationship ended?
I really don’t think I’m wrong, but I just need reassurance that I’m doing the right thing.
I (F 50s) have a son (David, 30s) who is married to Bea, 20’s. They have a daughter who is 4 months old, and my son has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 10.
Bea & I had a falling out after their baby was born, and my son and granddaughters got caught in the crossfire. The falling out happened in March, and I know I did and said things I wasn’t proud of, and although she hasn’t apologized I’m sure she feels the same way. It would be too long to go over the history, but at the most extreme point I did consult a lawyer for grandparent rights. During this time, my son had no contact with me, but when I dropped the grandparents rights case I asked for things to go back to normal. My son expressed that he wanted things to go back to normal, but that a lot of damage had been done and he really didn’t know if we could go back to normal.
For Mother's Day, my daughter decided to take me out to dinner, and she begged David to go and bring the baby (oldest was with mom). David eventually did agree on the condition it wasn’t on mothers day, and He, the baby, and Bea came. Bea was quiet most of dinner, but did talk to my daughter a few times – I guess they have a pretty good relationship. Bea held the baby the entire time, and wouldn’t let me hold or take pictures (part of the falling out was over pictures and Facebook, so I found this to be petty).
Overall, I would have called dinner a success. At the end I hugged my son and told him I was proud of him for putting his foot down and coming to dinner with his daughter, and that I hoped he could continue to do that. Looking back, I know I shouldn’t have said anything. My son called me later that night and told me that he couldn’t continue to have a relationship with me. He said that Bea was their child's mother, and he wouldn’t ever bring the baby anywhere without her blessing. I was drunk when he called because I have had a hard time coping, and I admit I lost it a little bit on the phone call and told him it was despicable that he couldn’t man up to his wife, and that he should have come to see me on mothers day because I am his mother. He ended up hanging up on me.
I called the next day and profusely apologized to him. I know it was wrong of me to have said what I did, and I told him I want a relationship with him. He told me he couldn’t do this with me anymore.
I have been heartbroken ever since, but I understand I guess. I called him last night and told him that I wouldn’t be contacting him or his wife anymore ever, and that I respected that we wouldn’t have a relationship. I also let him know I would be taking him off as my power of attorney and out of my will so he never had to be bothered with anything from me again. I don’t have much anyways.
He got mad at me and called me a sorry excuse of a mother, and now my daughter is saying I’m manipulative. I really don’t understand how I was wrong in giving him what he wants."
Relevant Comments:
People figure out pretty quickly that she is the same woman as the other posts. The scenarios, ages and the way she often spells would with a "k" as a mistype. That and her overall tone.
You need therapy:
"I have been in therapy to help deal with this trauma. I've been told that I need to respect his boundaries so this feels like I am. Why would i want someone who doesn't care about me making medical decisions for me? He's also expressed I'm a hoarder and I don't have money so I don't know why he would want to be bothered with stuff in a will."
Someone links the DIL's post (again, OOP of that requested that it not be re-shared so I will not be posting it here) and asks if she really threatened to commit suicide if she didn't see the baby:
"No, I said I wanted to kill myself because I felt like I had no one. While I was on a hold for 72 hours and received treatment I got set up with my therapist to help deal with some of the trauma both from what's happening now and past issues."
"I had a psychotic break. This is one of the actions I truly regret."
Update Post to AITA: May 24, 2023
AITA woukdnt let me post an update due my post being "violent" so here we are.
after someone posted a link to what i believe is my daughter-in-laws reddit posts and i read some of the verbal beatings i got i did some more reflection. i feel like her perspective of events really helped shift my view. i do want to point out there are several people who told me i was not wrong and that this younger generation has a poor view of family values. i really believe i was judged so harshly because there are so few parents\grandparents on reddit.
i went to my son and dils house but it was mostly empty. i was afraid of this after reading her post and some of the comments. i found the listing and its been posted for almost a week and is currently pending but i cant find where they moved to and all the photos are of the house mostly empty. i suspect they bought it under an llc so i am currently trying to figure out how to find out the name of the llc and then find the house. i talked to one of their neighbors and they said they moved most of their stuff out around the beginning of may so my son kept this from me for quite a while and didnt even bother to mention it at dinner.
i had a meeting with my therapist to help me through this but im still a wreck. my son has just disappeared. i know everyone here is looking through my small 3000 character limited posts and my dils long gripes about me but my son woukdnt do this on his own. his wife is absolutely manipulative but it doesnt change the fact i handled this all wrong and drove him further away. if i woukd have just sought out a relationship with my son ang granddaughters without b i dont think i woukd be here. i should have just played nice. one commentor said it when they asked me “do you want to be right or do you want to have a relationship with your son and granddaughter?” and i choose wrong.
my therapist told me to give myself some healing time before pursuing anything but for now my plan is to just save some money and hire a private investigator to find my son and then rebuild my relationship and his trust so we can work to get him out from under her.
again i recognize i was wrong in some of this. i recognize i was overly demanding and critical – i was wrong in some of this. but i didnt deserve this. people who use kids and grandkids as pawns are evil.
i will probably continue to seek advice but it certainly wont be from this account. and to whoever linked my other posts from my other account and told my dil about this screw you.
Edit- One more comment from OOP when her post was crossposted to AmITheDevil
"screw everyone here. i am far from being a devil. i am not evil. the person who is evil is the one who took my family completely away from me. my dil has completely manipulated my son. ill admit i was far from perfect but i dont deserve what you people are saying about me. i hope one day you guys feel what it's like to lose your child and grandchild to a manipulative person who just wants to cut their family off."
Edit- A reminder that it is against the rules of this sub (and reddit) to comment on the Original Posts or dm OOP.
Edit 2- OOP has now deleted her second account.

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-
"I understand your plight, but unfortunately, I have my own circumstances I need to attend to," Salvanius said, leaning back in his chair. "Therefore, I'm unable to provide any transportation to Aldenshor."
Elijah had his hand covering his eyes while his elbow rested on Salvanius' desk. "I don't get it, the magical tool YOU were going to receive was stolen too," he said, looking up at the Demigod with an exhausted expression.
Having spent the better half of an hour negotiating with Salvanius, Elijah and his crew were beginning to reach the end of their patience. Each and every attempt to convince ‘his grace’ to chase after the thieves were met with half hearted excuses or flat out denials. It got to the point where Elijah glanced over to Theodius and seriously considered just taking him hostage in order to force a pursuit.
“That may be, but my duties dictate that I focus my attention elsewhere.” Salvanius replied, staring intensely at the mortal across from him. “And as much as it pains me, I cannot afford to turn around and delay my mission.”
Dragging his hand across his face, Elijah let out an exasperated sigh and asked, "Let me guess, the magical tool that I still currently hold on to will greatly enable you to complete your mission and thus, you can free up one of your ships..." He knew the game that was being played, and to be honest, he was surprised at just how shrewd this Holy Man actually was.
A smile spread across Salvanius’ face, elated at Elijah’s perceptiveness. "Indeed," he admitted. "The tool you possess is invaluable to my cause, but are you sure you’re allowed to make this decision and not your master?" He asked, looking at the fairy happily eating a biscuit on the desk.
Yana had been completely ignoring the exchange, her focus solely on the delightful treat she was consuming. Realizing the focus had turned to her, she perked up and waved her hand dismissively. "Ya, whatever, he can handle it," she said nonchalantly, going back to chomping away.
Salvanius clapped his hands together with a large smile spread across his face. "Very well," he said, turning his attention back to Elijah. "If that’s her decision, then I shall accept your gracious gift.” He said, leaning forward.
Elijah began tapping on the desk in one second intervals as he glared daggers at the Demigod in front of him. His eyes scanned the room, eventually settling on Theodius, who wore a goofy expression and shifted excitedly in place. For a brief moment, Elijah considered the idea of taking the oddball hostage, thinking it might be less painful than losing his potentially only bioscanner.
But, that thought was quickly dismissed as his gaze shifted to Rhea.
Shame consumed Rhea as she stared at the ground, her face etched with a painful look. The realization that her Liege was extorting the very people who had done nothing but help them weighed heavily on her conscience. Glancing up, Rhea noticed Elijah’s impassive gaze rested on her and for a moment, she wanted to voice her deepest apologies, but the foreign man just shook his head and turned back to Salvanius to continue their negotiations.
“... I have terms.” Elijah said, knocking his knuckles against the table.
Salvanius narrowed his eyes, “You have… Terms? Do you really think you’re in a position to dictate terms?” He asked incredulously.
Still wearing his impassive look, Elijah clenched his jaw and leaned back in his chair. "I wouldn't call it dictating terms. You’re more than free to refuse." He replied.
A rapturous laughter left Salvanius' lips as the man slapped the desk in front of him, the sound echoing in the room. "Well, you certainly have gall," Salvanius said, his expression shifting to a scowl. "But you should also remember whose presence you’re in." He growled as his hands dug into the table.
Pressing the tips of his fingers together, Elijah leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk and kept his same impassive expression. “And you should remember who understands this magical tool.” he said in a bored tone.. “Because I can guarantee you that you’ll never get it to work without my help and the cost of this tool… is significantly higher." The words were sharp, but his tone was even and controlled.
A loud crunch rang out as Salvanius glared daggers at Elijah with an enraged face. “And if I just kill you all and take the tool for myself," he snarled
Elijah didn't flinch; he maintained his calm composure, despite the literally God just across from him that seemed to be fuming. "You could," he admitted coolly, "but then you’d have a useless rock with no hopes of activating it.”
Salvanius ground his teeth, visibly struggling to control his temper. He couldn’t deny that there was a strong possibility that the mortal in front of him may be telling the truth, but his pride made it difficult to accept. The strange device used no magic he had ever seen before and functioned in a way that was completely alien to him.
“Surely my scholars and Artificiers would eventually figure it out," The Demigod argued, attempting to regain some control over the situation.
Both Elijah and Bennett looked at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter that had them clutching their sides. The mere thought of a bunch of primitives who didn’t even have plumbing would somehow figure out optical computing was simply too hilarious to entertain.
Managing to regain his composure enough to form a coherent sentence, Elijah wiped a tear from his eye and looked at the shocked Demigod. "Oh, trust me," he said, still chuckling, "your ‘scholars’ would be stumped for centuries, if not several millennia! Hell, I doubt they’ll ever figure it out in their lifetime!"
Bennett elbowed Elijah’s side, “I would be surprised if they managed to make an abacus let alone figure out what a logic gate was!” He added into the joke causing another round of laughter.
With pride wounded by the laughter, Salvanius couldn’t help but glower at the two mortals mocking him. Never in his life had anyone DARED mock him let alone insult him to such a degree and lived. A snap rang out as Salvanius' fingers dug through the table and squeezed into a tight fist, but just as he was about to order Rhea to kill them, the woman already had her weapon drawn.
However, he soon noticed the woman was not defending his honor, but the angry looking Vanir that somehow materialized in front of his face. One second she was happily munching away at a biscuit on the desk and the next she was floating in front of him glaring at him viciously with glowing violet eyes.
“Nuh-uh!” Yana shouted as she stuck her finger out at Salvanius'. “Don’t even try it you idiot!”
Salvanius hesitated, his rage momentarily dampened by a very primal fear that he’s never felt before. Something about this legendary creature caused his instincts to scream that he was underestimating the tiny thing and he would deeply regret any errant moves. Closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath, Salvanius composed himself to cover up the brief moment of weakness. "You have no right to address me in such a manner, Vanir." He opened his eyes and glared at Yana, his voice full of authority. “Nevertheless, in light of your contributions, I shall overlook this insult.”
Yana narrowed her eyes and held Salvanius' gaze for a few more seconds before letting out a harrumph. “No funny business, whelpling! They’re MINE and MINE alone!” She barked before floating off, muttering more insults as she returned to enjoying her treat.
Seeing Salvsnius' his hand dismissively towards her, Rhea slowly sheathed her sword but still maintained her vigilance towards the small being on the desk. Whatever the thing had done had put everyone save for the two beastkins on edge. Even her liege had second guessed lashing out against an obvious insult in the face of… whatever that thing was.
Elijah finally settled down and pulled out his datapad. "I suppose a bit of honesty is in order here." The man said with a mocking smile on his face as the device flashed to life. “It’s not magic.”
As Salvanius looked down at the display, his rage began to simmer down, and a mixture of awe and disbelief crossed his face. With just a few taps and strokes of the mortal's fingertips, the magical tool revealed astonishing moving images so detailed he couldn’t distinguish it from reality. In addition, an ethereal melody accompanied the moving images. A harmonious blend of sounds that seemed to emanate from the device itself that left everyone in the room completely speechless and spell bound by mesmerizing audio-visual experience.
“Magnificent…” Salvanius muttered.
Never in his life had he been treated to such an exquisite experience.
"Its structure and functionality are so far beyond you or anyone else's understanding in this god forsaken world, that no matter who you gave it to or where you went, you’ll never get it to work if we don’t want it to work.” Bennett explained with a bored expression.
Salvanius remained quiet as he stared at the device as it showed an individual singing and dancing through the streets of a metropolis so grand that it boggled his mind. Buildings made of glass and iron seemed to pierce the heavens themselves, bathed in a perpetual glow of colorful light. And the people themselves… What they wore was unlike anything he had ever seen, but he soon noticed the similarities to the garments the two mortals in front of him were wearing.
“You’re… You’re lying.” He said in complete denial.
Elijah scoffed and folded his arms across his chest. “By all means, take the scanner and have your people look into it.” He said with a coy smile on his face. “After you accept our terms of course.”
Even though his pride and anger were still simmering beneath the surface, Salvanius still hesitated as he continued to stare at the mesmerizing display. It was then he remembered that his brother had initially told him that he should tread carefully around these mortals. They wielded knowledge and intellect like the sharpest of blades and one misstep could lead to disastrous consequences.
Of course Salvanius waved off his brother's wisdom as another mindless ramble from a new fixation, but now he found himself stuck. Looking between Vanir happily eating on his desk and the two mortals were completely unphased by his presence, Salvanius realized he had quite literally stuck his hand into a dark pit of vipers.
“And what are your terms…?” The Demigod said in a low voice, full of frustration.
An angry snarl formed on Elijah's face as he leaned and jabbed a finger into the desk. “You help me get my stuff back, and I’ll show that you can do a lot more than find ‘miasma’ with my scanner.” He said, with his eyes burning in hatred. “I’ll even introduce you to the wonderful world of antibiotics.”
Salvanius had absolutely no clue what they were talking about, but he still understood what they were offering must have been substantial. Especially considering his brother behind him was sweating bullets in an effort to maintain his neutral stance and expression.
However, from everything he had learned today, there was one question burning in Salvanius' mind. "What are you…?" he asked, eyeing the two with suspicion and curiosity.
Even Azeline, who had been sitting at the back with an unsurprised and detached demeanor, suddenly perked up and started paying closer attention to the conversation as Elijah and Bennett exchanged meaningful glances.
“We’re Humans.”

• ​

Flipping open the flap of the tent, Salvanius stepped outside and beckoned Elijah and his crew to follow. “I cannot task a ship of war to you at the current moment,” he said as the group walked through a maze of pyres and gallows. “Although, tomorrow I plan on Rhea to make a return trip to our homeland in order to update my father on the spread of corruption, and Aldenshor just so happens to be on the way.”
“And we can hitch a ride with him?” Elijah inquired, his interest piqued.
Salvanius nodded as his head turned to one of his Junior Knights that had a troubled look on their face. “That’s correct, and I’ll also have Rhea, empowered with my authority, accompany you.” He said, narrowing his eyes at the Knight. The man was overseeing a contingent of town guards as they corralled a group of Ferfolk slaves and a female Beastkin near the end of the dock. “She’ll be returning to the Holy Dominion as well in order to raise another Crusade and hunt down both your items, and the Kraven thugs that orchestrated the theft.”
Just as he finished, the Demigod marched over to the scene and loomed just behind the unwitting knight as looked over the terrified group to deliberate their fate. “Are you sure there’s no evidence to corroborate whether they’re heretics or assisting heretics?” The Junior Knight asked, looking over at the beastkin guard.
“Ah… No me lord. We were only able to find the bodies of some gang-I mean heretics that were slain by uhh, yer guests in their establishment.” he guard responded, stammering slightly under the pressure.
The Junior Knight frowned, his brow furrowed in frustration. "Then we cannot simply assume their guilt. There must be a proper investigation to determine their involvement, if any."
"Sir Elic, I understand your concerns,” Salvanius, overhearing the conversation, stepped in. “but we cannot afford to let any potential heretic slip through our fingers." He said looking over at the terrified group of girls. “The likeliness of whores to be in leagues with these fiends are too great, just hang them and be done with it.”
An aghast look spread across the faces of the women as they all simultaneously started screaming and pleading for mercy, tears streaming down their faces. The gut-wrenching sobs and desperate cries filled the air, creating an atmosphere of utter despair.
Sir Elic was clearly troubled by Salvanius' order, but didn’t hesitate. "Yes, right away your grace!" He said, nodding at the town guards.
The guards begrudgingly began to move forward, their faces a mix of unease and determination. As they approached the women, their hands shook slightly, betraying their own reservations about the task at hand.
Elijah, who had been observing the situation, stood there with a frown on his face as he watched Mara and the Ferfolk women be dragged towards the makeshift gallows. He closed his eyes for a moment and turned his thoughts inwards as the guards forcibly wrapped ropes around their necks. "Wait," he interjected with a calm, but firm voice.
All eyes turned to Elijah, and the guards hesitated in their actions. Salvanius raised a questioning eyebrow, clearly irritated by the interruption. "What is it now?" he demanded, his tone impatient.
“I can vouch for them.” Elijah said, opening his eyes and looking towards the Demigod.
Salvanius' expression shifted from annoyance to curiosity. "You vouch for… whores?" he asked, studying the ‘Humans’ as if he was growing an extra head.
"Yes," Elijah replied, maintaining eye contact. "They helped us a lot and made us feel at home when we first got here." He said confidently. “And as a stranger in a strange land, I find that’s worth a great deal.”
Silence reigned as Salvanius' gaze flicked back to the women, who were still trembling with fear, before looking back at Elijah in agitation. A hand came to his head in an effort to soothe his growing headache, and sighed in resignation. "I don’t have time for this… Very well.” And with a wave of his hand, the guards began to remove the ropes from the women’s necks.
Once freed, the group of women breathed a collective sigh of relief. Mara looked at Elijah with a mixture of gratitude and pain as she slowly made her way over to the man. “I… I… I’m so-”
Elijah put a hand to stop her. “Just say thank you.” He said in an annoyed fashion, with his arms crossed.
Mara hesitated for a moment, then nodded with a tearful smile. "Thank ye..," she said softly, her voice filled with gratitude. “Thank ye for everything.”
The Ferfolk, still visibly shaken, managed to express their gratitude with soft murmurs of thanks as they bowed their heads in deference towards their savior. Their eyes conveyed a mix of relief, fear, and newfound admiration for the man who had intervened on their behalf.
“Your dick is going to get you killed one day.” Bennett said impassively as he stared at the gaggle of women being escorted out of the hellscape.
“Shut the fuck up.” Elijah responded in annoyance.
Turning towards the Demigod, he refocused his attention on the matter at hand. "So when will we be joining Rhea on her trip back to the Holy Dominion?" he asked, wanting more details.
Salvanius stared long and hard at Elijah in an effort to figure him out, but realizing that was a fruitless endeavor. "Tomorrow at dawn.” He answered, shaking his head. ”We still need to prepare provisions and the crew for departure.”
"Understood," Elijah replied, acknowledging the tight schedule. "But can we spend the night on the ship? I’d rather leave as soon as possible,” he inquired, his eyes showing a sense of urgency.
Considering the request for a moment, Salvanius weighed the risks of any potential risks or complications before ultimately nodding in agreement. "Very well. You and your crew may stay on board tonight. I'll inform Rhea of the arrangement."
"Thank you," Elijah said gratefully.
The thought of having to go back to the tavern after everything that had happened made him feel incredibly uncomfortable, and he’d just rather not deal with it. By staying on the ship, he could at least avoid a terribly awkward situation and focus on getting out of here as soon as possible.
With a nod, Salvanius spun on his heel and strode away, his cape billowing behind him as he went to oversee the inquisition's work.
Rhea however, lingered as her gaze rested firmly on the Vanir that was taking in the scenery around her with a disturbing glee. Catching the Knight Captain's gaze, Yana swiftly darted toward her at incredible speed. Rhea instinctively flinched, expecting to be hit, but found that the small being had stopped just inches from her face. Yana appeared to be examining her intently, her curious violet eyes studying every detail of Rhea's features.
The knight captain seemed just as curious, but saw the Vanir's hand stretch out in an attempt to touch her face when a voice called out. “Yana! Dont.” Elijah barked out in a scolding tone.
Yana froze in place, her hand just a millimeter away when she turned around with a scornful look. "But she smells so familiar!" she protested, her eyes darting between Rhea and Elijah, her curiosity unabated.
"What did I say about messing with people I like?" Elijah admonished, raising an eyebrow at the tiny Vanir.
Giving the Knight Captain a derisive look, Yana finally relented and slowly floated over to Elijah. She landed squarely on his head with a scowl on her face, clearly unhappy about having curiosity unquenched. Rhea, on the other hand, finally let go of the breath she didn’t know that she was holding before spinning around herself and making off to catch up with her Liege.
Heaving a sigh, Elijah turned around to look back at his crew. "Alright... Let's go get our shit and go do whatever, I guess," he said, rubbing his head.
“Ya, you can have fun with that, I’m going back to the magic shop.” Bennett replied, immediately walking off in the direction of the city center
Elijah raised his hand in order to stop Bennett, but ultimately stopped in the realization that anything he said or did would have fallen on deaf ears. Instead, Elijah simply grumbled obscenities as he turned to Azeline. "Come on, let's go get our stuff and go find Auri," he said with defeat evident in his voice.
​
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Hope you enjoy this first is NEW BLOOD
By a river, a female Archosaur stalks a herd of dicynodonts called Placerias, looking for weak members to prey upon. Downstream, a male feathered dinosaur resides in a tree with his family. A female Postosuchus, a rauisuchian and one of the largest carnivores alive in the Triassic, attacks the Placerias herd, and wounds one individual; the herd scatters, leaving the wounded Placerias to the Postosuchus. Early bats are depicted feeding on dragonflies and cooling themselves in the little water remaining during the drought before being eaten by a larger dragonfly. Searching for food, a female badger like mammal, alongside another badger, discovers the dinosaur nest; the female wards them off. Later that evening, after he goes off hunting, an inquisitive chick follows but falls onto land trying to follow its father and is caught by the female badger. At night, the dinosaurs pick up their remaining pups and then move away. On the next day, the badgers work to collapse the tree. The female Postosuchus meanwhile is shown to have been wounded by the Placerias, a prior attack on them leaving her with a tusk wound on her thigh. After being unable to successfully hunt another Placerias, she is expelled from her territory by a predatory phytosaur. Wounded, sick, and without a territory, the female Postosuchus dies and is eaten by a pack of archosaurs. As the dry season continues, food becomes scarce. The Placerias herd embarks on a journey in search of water, while the archosaurs begin to cannibalise their young, and the male dinosaurs also resorts to hunting baby badgers at night. Finally, the wet season arrives; the majority of the archosaurs have survived (including the lead female), and the dinosaur pair have a new clutch of eggs. The episode ends with the arrival of a herd of giant Procoptodon like mammal which are followed by a large fox like mammal which fights and kills a Postosuchus.
TIME OF THE TITANS
This episode follows the life of a female prosauropod, beginning at the moment when her mother lays a clutch of eggs in the heart conifer forest. Three months later, some of the eggs hatch; the young prosauropods are preyed upon by fox like mammal and other dinosaurs. After hatching, the hatchlings retreat to the safety of the denser trees. They face many dangers as they grow, including predation by the foxes and existing Smilodon like mammals which are replacing the foxes increasingly . Even a giant Deinotherium like mammal accidentally also kills one of the hatchlings by swinging its tusks while fending off a pair of Smilodon like mammals and a weird crocodile like cetan. Elsewhere, adult herds of prosauropods are shown using their massive weight to topple trees in order to reach cycad leaves and giant ferns. Each one hosts a small mobile habitat of damselflies, bats, and beetles. After some time, the creche of cute creatures have grown into subadults. Nearly all are killed by a huge forest fire; only three survivors emerge onto the open plains, including the young female. They encounter several Paracetherium before only two reach safety of a herd of adult prosauropods. Several years later, the female mates, and a few days after, is attacked by a bull smilodon like mammals. She is saved when another prosauropod strikes the Allosaurus with its tail. She rejoins the herd, albeit with deep wounds on her side, but she will recover. The closing narration notes that their successors the sauropods will in the Cenozoic become the largest animals ever to walk the Earth but currently its the paracetherium.
CRUEL SEA
episode begins with a small elephant like mammal being snatched from the shore by a male Liopleurodon. It then cuts to show how dinosaurs have dominated the European islands with fauna similar to the ones in Jurassic Impact. Meanwhile, hundreds of cetans arrive from the open ocean to give birth but they are attacked by a Basilosaur look a like. Hybodus and a Liopleurodon are on the hunt; when a mother cetan has trouble giving birth, a pair of Hybodus pursue her. They are frightened off by the male Liopleurodon, which eats the front half of the cetan. Meanwhile, a Andrewsarchus like mammal the last of its kind if you forget the fox like mammals swims to an island and discovers a turtle carcass; it fights over the carcass with another. Later, during the night, a group of horseshoe crabs gather at the shore to lay their eggs, which attracts a flock of bats in the morning to eat the eggs. However, a few of the bats are caught and eaten by a giant dragonfly . While the cetan juveniles are growing up, they are hunted by Hybodus, which in turn, are prey for the Liopleurodon. While the male Liopleurodon is hunting, he encounters a female Basilosaurus like mammal; after the male bites one of her flippers, she retreats from his territory, and a group of Hybodus follows the trail of her blood. A cyclone strikes the islands, killing many animals, including several bats and the basilosaurus, who is washed ashore and eventually suffocates under his own weight. A group of small dinosaurs feed on her carcass. At the end of the episode, the juvenile cetans that survived the storm are now large enough to swim off and live in the open sea but are hunted by some other cetans.
GIANT OF THE SKIES
The episode begins with the last giant Dragonfly dead on a beach. Six months earlier, the last Dragonfly, resting among a colony of breeding giant bats in Brazil, flies off for Cantabria where he too must mate. He flies past a migrating group of chalicothere mimics and the nodosaur Polacanthus. He reaches the southern tip of North America, where he is forced to seek shelter from a storm. He grooms himself, expelling his body of fleas; the wings begin to change colour in preparation for the mating season. He then sets off across the Atlantic, which was then only 300 kilometres wide, and after a whole day on the wing, reaches the westernmost of the European islands. He does not rest there however, as a pack of dromaeosaurs are hunting horses; a young one is bullied off an Horse carcass by the adults. The Dragonfly flies to the outskirts of a forest to rest after stealing a fish from a bat, but is driven away by a flock of new fliers called Anurognathids. Flying on, he reaches Cantabria, but finds no other dragonflies and consequently he does not mate. After several days under the sun trying to attract a mate, the protagonist dragonflies dies from a combination of heat, stress and starvation. . The new replacements bats feeds on its corpse.
SPIRITS OF THE ICE FOREST
A few hundred kilometres from the South Pole, a clan of Leaellynasaura emerge during spring after several months of total darkness. They feed on the fresh plant growth (which has adapted to the changing seasons), and build nests to lay their eggs; a Koolasuchus also wakes and heads to a river, where he will stay during the summer. Out on the banks of the river, migrating herds of Macraucheia have also arrived to feed and lay their eggs. When summer arrives, many of the Leaellynasaura clan's eggs have been eaten; however, those of the matriarch hatch successfully. Meanwhile, a male Polar Smilodon like mammal and its pride hunts both the Leaellynasaura and the Macraucheia, the latter species also having to deal with blood-sucking birds the Smilodon male deals with being attacked and exiled by a larger male. When autumn arrives, the herd begins to migrate, and the Koolasuchus leaves the river to find a pool for hibernation and all the cubs of the old male Smilodon are killed. During the migration, some Muttaburrasaurus become lost in the forest; they vocalize loudly while trying to return to their herd, preventing the Leaellynasaura clan's sentries from hearing the male Smilodon approaching. It manages to kill the matriarch of the clan. Winter descends and the forest is shrouded in darkness, but the now matriarch-less Leaellynasaura clan is able to stay active, using their large eyes to help them forage for food. The clan and other creatures are also shown to use various methods of coping with the cold.. Finally, spring returns, and two Leaellynasaura males challenge each other for the right to mate, and the clan establishes a new dominant pair and the old male Smilodon kills the new male Smilodon and takes the pride back. The closing narration acknowledges that soon this landmass will be pulled closer to the South Pole and when that happens, this unique ecosystem and its inhabitants will disappear.
DEATH OF THE DYNASTY
Several months before the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event, the last mammals are living under intense environmental stress due to excessive volcanism. A female giant Entelodont like monotremes abandons her nest, the eggs rendered infertile due to acidic pollution. Her calls for a mate are answered by a smaller male, who kills a young rhino like mammal to appease her. Three days later, after repeated copulation, she drives him off. The mother fasts as she tends to her nest, contending with raids by dromaeosaurs and Squirrel like mammals. Meanwhile, herds of deer like mammals wander between islands of vegetation among the volcanic ash, and rhinoceros rut for the right to mate, while losing their young to attacking dromaeosaurs. Only three of the Entelodont hatches ; the mother hunts one of the last elephants to feed herself and her brood. One of the last giant bats flies into the area and is killed by the last cetans. Several days later, while defending her two surviving offspring, the mother is fatally injured by the tail of an Ankylosaurus. The juveniles remain expectantly next to the carcass of their mother the next morning; several hours later, they are killed along with the other mammals in the region by the impact of a comet in the Gulf of Mexico. The impact, said to be as powerful as ten billion Hiroshima bombs, resulted in 65% of life -the mammals included- dying out in the ensuing cataclysmic changes to the climate. In an epilogue, the present-day African plains are shown; while they are now dominated dinosaurs after millions of years of recovery from the impact, they are still populated by a small group of mammals that did survive the extinction: the rodents, the squirrels and many other small vermin like mammals.
THE GIANT CLAW- TO EDIT
searches the late Jurassic islands for Therizinosaurus, who has massive and very long claws.
The episode starts off with Nigel in his ship where he shows a giant claw that scientists originally thought to be the rib of a giant turtle but was actually the claw of Therizinosaurus. He is interrupted when a giant turtle passes through and he films them. The turtle sneezes on him and Nigel sets off on his journey
Nigel comes across a nesting ground of heterodontosaurs that he crosses by using a red flag to draw their attention while one snaps at his cameraman. They travel into a forest where they watch a pack of cassowary like dinosaurs and their friends hunt heterodontosaurs. In a different forest, Nigel sets camp and finds a scorpion that he keeps. At night, a group of Mononykus like creatures approach the camp site and Nigel tries to catch one. After he caught one, he discovers that they have feathers but he puts his thumb in its mouth causing it to bleed. The next morning, Nigel finds that the Mononykus have eaten his scorpion and he packs up his camp. In the scrublands, Nigel hides in the vegetation urging his cameraman to turn off the camera when he spots a feathered predator that spooks some Mononykus.
Then Nigel waits out at a beach with some Heterodontosaurs and Mononykus as a perfect place for theropods to hunt prey. There he finds a hatched nest with the skeleton of a baby Therizinosaurus in a partially hatched egg as well as herbivore dung. Not far away, he finds a full skeleton of a Therizinosaurus. A large crocodile notices him and chases him and his cameraman into the forest. They climb onto tall tree stumps out of their reach and use a bicycle horn to scare of the raptors. After hearing commotion from the heterodontosaurs, Nigel returns to the watering hole where a feathered apex comes to scavenge and drink but is interrupted by the roar of a Therizinosaurus leading to a clash of the titans. The Therizinosaurus fends off the Tarbosaurus with its formidable claws forcing it to back down. Nigel then finds whole herd of Therizinosaurus emerging from the forest and it is a herbivore that uses its sickle-claws to hook tree and bush branches towards its mouth. Nigel ultimately concludes that it was gentle herbivore by touching one that licks him and knocks him over.
Land OF GIANTS
Nigel travels back in time with his film crew. He travels to a nearby lake, where large mammals named Brutodontids nest every year. There Nigel sees a juvenile Brutodon, where he is attacked by a giant mosasaur. Nigel then coaxes it out of the lake by splashing a stick in the water. It lays on the shore. Nigel attaches a video camera to his head and walks towards it, and demonstrates it's biting power by pushing a stick into it's mouth and having it bite down on it.
Later Nigel climbs up the volcanic slopes to get a panoramic view of the area to see Brutodon herd. Instead he finds a herd of small horses. His search leads him all the way to the coast, where he views a colony of medium sized bats on the cliffs hunting fish. Nigel doesn't return to the campsite until night, where he finds that a large predator has attacked his tent, and left all the provisions littered across the surrounding ground. He finds a single theropod dinosaur tooth jammed in a can of meat.
The next morning Nigel has set up an alarm system outside the camp so that if something breaks the laser tripwire, a loud alarm will sound, alerting Nigel. Later he tracks down the predator, where, around midday, Nigel hears a commotion further ahead. He finds a wounded horse in a rocky gully. He walks further upstream to find a smaller dead individual with a strange feathered apex predator eating it.
Later Nigel is shown flying over the ash-fields in an ultralight. Soon he finds another Sea Bat flock. After breaking away he sees a giant bat, one of the largest animal ever to fly. Soon Nigel discovers the Brutodon herd far below, so he lands the ultra light nearby his jeep. He then drives off towards the herd and locates it without any trouble.
After appreciating their gargantuan size, Nigel drives into a natural 'funnel', caused by a break in some trees. He then sets up some weighing scales designed for lorries. After several fruitless attempts, an Brutodon steps on the scales, showing that it weighs 92.3 tonnes, and Nigel explains that that's the same as 30 African elephants.
The next morning Nigel in chasing an horse 20 miles away from the camp in the jeep, when he realizes that it is actually running because a Giganotosaurus is chasing them both. Nigel narrowly escapes the predator only to meet up with the herd later in the morning to find an entire pack of Giganotosaurus mobbing the herd but most are killed.
By the afternoon the pack has singled out a juvenile, and are inflicting wounds, waiting for her to bleed to death. The hunt continues for the rest of the day and into the night, when filming is no longer possible and Nigel must leave.
The next morning, Nigel finds the herd at the nesting site beside the lake. While the females lay their eggs Nigel comments on what a magical ending this is for his dinosaur safari. Suddenly a Mosasaur lunges at him out of the water
NEW DAWN- WWB REALITY
The episode starts by showing how the mammals were dominating the land and that dinosaurs were small. Then it shows how "an asteroid the size of Mount Everest" struck the Earth and demolished the mammals, and how dinosaurs evolved into new forms thereafter. The first episode depicts the warm tropical world of the early Eocene, sixteen million years after the extinction of the giant mammals. Bats, the one of the surviving lineage of the mammals, including the giant carnivorous Mega Bat, rule this world, while dinosaurs are still very small. The setting is near the Messel pit in Germany. Due to volcanic activity, sudden bulk escapes of carbon dioxide trapped underneath lakes pose a significant hazard to the local wildlife. The episode centers around a Parkosaur family, a leaping, shrew-like dinosaur, which has emerged in the dawn hours to forage for food. As the mother forages, first in solidarity, and then with her pups, she wanders near a large predatory mammal, identified as an Ambulocetus the last cetan. A female Mega Bat, who has been taking care of the single undeveloped baby in her nest, makes two attempts to hunt a small herd of Protoceratops like dinosaurs, early ceratopsians. The first attempt fails when sounds among the vegetation betray her presence and they mob her. The second attack proves successful when the Protoceratops consume fermenting grapes and are unable to evade her attack also defends her territory from another. Unfortunately, while the mother hunts, a horde of Titanomyrma, giant carnivorous ants, encounter the baby when it dropped out of the nest, and successfully kill and eat the chick. When the female discovers her dead offspring at dusk she leaves the forest to try and start another family.
With the arrival of night, a band of lemur-like Godinotia, socialize and copulate in the dark the narration reveals how they will be the most successful in this new world. Ambulocetus finally manages to catch a Flamingo like bird near the lake edge. As the night wears on, an earth tremor unleashes trapped carbon dioxide out from underneath the lake and the gas suffocates most of the surrounding life. The Parkosaurs survive because the nest was upwind of the gas while the Bat was killed because she stayed in that area in the forest.
It is mentioned that although they survived the gas, they would ultimately leave many descendants, while the Ambulocetus, who was killed by the lethal gases, would leave none.
WHALE KILLER
This episode introduces the Mosasaur, an ancient type of mosasaur. Mosasaur became the new king of the ocean after the giant cetans of the Mesozoic died out alongside the mammals (see Cruel Sea). It was much bigger than the sharks it shared the ocean with, and it regularly ate the sharks. However, Mosasaur was still less advanced than the modern species; it still had rear flippers (that helped it during the mating) and lacked the blubber. At the same time, this program depicted the beginning of 'climate chaos' - a relatively minor extinction event between Eocene and Oligocene, also known as "The Great Cut". On land dinosaurs too have become big and huge. This episode featured Torosaurus like ceratopsians and the Andrewsarchus, a mammal that was considered to be a relative to the kings of the Cretaceous the Entelodont. Both were much bigger than the land dinosaurs featured in New Dawn episode, but their brains were still small and their behavior - primitive. They were the first true dinosaur rulers of the land and most of them would die out during "The Great Cut". As the El Nino continues and the extinction event is beginning, the female Mosasaur is forced to change her hunting ground from open seas to mangrove swamps (the future Sahara desert). There she encounters small sharks, Apidium, and Moeritherium. It is described as the last stronghold of the mammals A spinosaurid like dinosaur eats an Apidium but is too small to attack Moeritherium, The mosasaur hunts and eats one alive. She leaves.
The Torosaurus continue to strive but most of the juvenlies are killed young by the poisonous plants of their home Two Andrewsarchus steal such a calf, but begin to fight over it in order to determine which of them gets to eat it first. The calf's mother decides that the calf is alive and fights off the Andrewsarchus - for a time, but leaves when the rest of her young hatch.
The female Mosasaurus discovers a lagoon where dolphin like mammals that appeared after the mass extinction of cetans are beginning to calf. At first the smaller whales use their numbers' advantage to chase away the giant, but the female Mosasaurus eventually returns and begins to hunt and devour the calves - and this time the adults can't stop her.
Several months later Basilosaurus gives birth to her own calf, but the episode ends saying that both the mother and child are doomed to perish - but whales as a group will survive.
LAND OF GIANTS
The third episode takes place in late Oligocene Mongolia, where seasonal rains are followed by long periods of drought. It follows a mother giant hawk, an enormous herbivorous bird , and her young male calf. The mother struggles to raise her calf, fending off predators such as Dromaeosaurs and trying to teach the calf to survive on its own. The episode also follows other animals in the surroundings, including a Therizinosaurid, tyrannosaurids and iguanodontids, and the hardships they endure as the new animals from the south move in.
NEXT OF KIN
A family group of the descendants of the Apidium is down; yet another female was killed by the Troodontids that hunt them, leaving behind an orphan daughter. The males of the group, Grey and Hercules, are beginning to challenge each other for leadership, and the females are supporting Hercules rather than Grey, A bigger, more numerous group attacks, driving the focus group from their old home. Because of this, they start to migrate through the highlands of Ethiopia, searching for a new one. During their travels they meet a large stegosaurid in musth which chases them away from its territory as it tries to wow a much larger female. They settle in a area with a waterfall where many iguanodontids roam they try to scare them off but can't. However it is also home to a large allosaur type creature which kills many and drags the rest for its chicks to eat. Grey is killed in the process and using some planning they steal some of the allosaurs chicks and cause it to migrate for the safety of its chicks. That night one of the babies is stolen by a Troodontid which now rule the area without the constriction of the Allosaur. One day the female orphan is attacked by the Troodontids in full daylight when the rest rally together and try and kill the Troodontid. They settle down and some evolved descendants of the protagonist from the first episode comes and eats the lice in their fur.
SABRE TOOTH
The fifth episode shows the strange fauna of the isolated continent of South America and explores the effects of the Great American Interchange, which had happened 1.5 million years earlier. Since South America had drifted apart from Antarctica 30 million years ago, many unique dinosaurs had evolved, including a Ankylosaurus like creature , an armored armadillo-like ankylosaur with a cannon ball-sized spiked club on its tail; An edmontosaurus like dinosaur, a camel-like dinosaur with a long trunk and though not a dinosaur a large heron like pterosaur has evolved larger than the largest of the bats.
Before the continents of South America and North America collided, a 10-foot-tall predatory bear called with sabre teeth like Smilodon, had reigned as top predator. However, the great birds, migrating from the north, soon displaced them as top predators. The episode focuses on a male bear, a saber-toothed ursine, called Half Tooth, who lives a lone life in a territory of females all of their cubs are his one day two males chase him out and try to become the individuals the females mate with.
Next, the episode shows The new birds hunting down the edmontosaurs and the bears trying to protect the young from the two brothers (in vain) but they are eventually killed when they go hunting. In the background, the mammals still hunt, but give way to the birds. However, a therizinosaurid, who wanted to eat meat as diet supplement, charges the pack while the males attempted to mate, in order to eat some of the carrion. In the process, it kills the dominant rival male, enabling Half Tooth to return, kill the other male and reclaim his territory. Then he had another litter of cubs. Meanwhile the pterosaurs arrive for their winter migration.
Mammoth JOURNEY
narrator reveals that the world's climate is starting to deteriorate, bringing on an ice age. This means all animals, even the mighty titanosaurs and their symbiotic bird partners are struggling with the last of their kind living in the focus herd. One of the herd falls through a pond concealed by ice. Her sisters comfort her, and in the morning the scavengers Troodontids and humans gather gather. The herd then have no choice but to leave their fallen sister to prepare for the coming Ice Age winter. The narrator also reveals that so much water is frozen at the poles, causing sea levels to drop. A vast Ice Age forest, which today is the North Sea, supports an array of dinosaurs including a herd of titanosaurs. Also residing on the plains in summer is a new creature: Human.
Despite having no physical adaptations for the cold, they wear animal hides to keep warm. The episode's main focus is the mammoth's 400 kilometre migration to the Alps and back in the spring. Meanwhile, two stigymoloch like dinosaurs are fighting for a harem of females, but are then ambushed by the humans who kill one of the males. As the titans migrate, one of the herd and the juveniles under her care are separated and stalked by a woolly giganotosaurus, but survive.
Upon reaching the Alps, the mother and the juveniles are reunited with the herd. Here in the valleys, one of the herd lays her eggs to return next year to raise the survivors and the birds mate with each other and a new generation is born, some leave into the Alps but many stay with their parents. The episode also focuses on the Neanderthal, who, despite being built for the cold, is struggling as a result of the Ice Age. One of them is attacked by a Woolly Pachyrhinosaurus, but survives because of his shorter stature and thicker bones.
As the titanosaurs migrate back to the plains, they come into Neanderthal territory where the juveniles is annoyed by the mammals and one is killed by the largest of them all Cave Foxes which drag them down to their cliff home where several giant Parkosaurs watch. they arrive back in their forest where the Gigantosaurus the only thing an adult fears attacks and kills the matriarch. The humans scavenge on the carcass. The titanosaurs are revealed to be going extinct with their herd being the largest thanks to the Ice Age while their birds have a different story thanks to their big partners. The scene then changes to the Oxford Museum and the narrator reveals that "If all this has taught is anything, it's this: no species lasts forever.
BALLAD OF BIG AL
The special begins at the University of Wyoming's Geological Museum, showing the bones of a baby prosauropod followed by an Allosaurus (2.1 metres tall is the maximum height) named Big Al. After the ghost of Big Al wanders the museum passing by his own skeleton and a burrow with some fossilized eggs, the film then travels back in time to 150 Mya) showing a similar nest. Al and his siblings are hiding in the burrow when they are called by their mother. She brings them to a river bank and the hatchlings start to hunt for insects and lizards. When the mother leaves the hatchlings temporarily, a predatory Dilephodon like mammal comes out of hiding and kills one of them (luckily, the victim was not Al).
Al is then shown at the age of two years. He tries to hunt a flock of Dryosaurus. He has not yet learned how to ambush from his mother so he fails to kill one of the swifter, smaller dinosaurs. Later, he snatches a lizard from a branch to keep him satisfied. Al comes across a dead Deinotherium like mammal and an Allosaurus waiting for death in a pit of sticky mud, which forms a predator trap. Meanwhile, a two-year-old female Allosaurus, attracted to the carcass, also gets stuck. She struggles to free herself, but fails. Al luckily avoids the same fate, because he has learnt to avoid carrion and the large carnivores that it usually attracts. Unable to escape, the trapped Allosaurus pair die of exhaustion, their corpses left to the bats. Al returns to his mother and his three siblings and feasts on the carcass she has caught.
Three years pass, and a herd of juvenile Prosauropods are migrating across their forest home and into the grasslands, heading for a herd to the south. Al, now 1.2 meters long, is joined by several other Allosaurus (possibly, his siblings) and they manage to successfully panic the herd into leaving a weakened sick individual behind. But as the Allosaurus gather for the kill, Al is struck down by the neck of the prosauropod. The pack decides to wait for a few hours until the prosauropod is brought down by heat exhaustion and his illness. Though they feed, within the hour, a five-year-old female Allosaurus scavenges the kill. Al takes some remnants of the carcass for himself and leaves, trying to find a safer place to eat.
3 years pass by, and Al, now 1.8 metres long with the crests over his eyes reddening, is shown drinking at a pond. His presence however makes other mammals around the pond nervous and the smell of blood he brings with him puts off a pair of Deinotherium that were attempting to mate. Away from the pond, he discovers the scent of a nearby six-year-old female Allosaurus and issues a mating call. She is interested, but as Al attempts to mate, a Smilodon like mammal out on the prowl pack attacks and kills the female. Al is lucky enough to escape from the ensuing fight with his life, although he sustains injuries to his right arm as well as smashed ribs. Later the dry season comes, and Al is attempting to hunt a flock of rabbit like mammals as the Dryosaurus have moved away. Whilst ambushing them however, he steps on a hedgehog like mammal and kills it but then it is stuck in his foot so he ends up breaking something in his right foot in the resultant fall; he limps away the, his chances of survival as prey gets scarcer now very unlikely. As the dry season turns to a drought, Al's limp from the fall gets worse and his right middle toe -which he broke in the fall- has become badly infected. Soon, unable to hunt because of this handicap, he dies in a dried-up riverbed, where two hatchling Allosaurus are hunting for bugs and come across his emaciated carcass where they eat his eyes and tongue and leave. He is said not to have reached full size, dying as a mature adolescent and that the process of his fossilisation was so perfect it preserved even the injuries he sustained in his lifetime including -amongst others- lumps where his ribs healed after their break and the raging infection on his middle toe even the hedgehog he stepped on. The narrator concludes the special stating how Big Al, in death, represents a frozen moment in the fast and furious life of a carnivorous dinosaur.
Now I'm going to do the worst part of WWD, Walking With Dinosaurs 3D and I'm going to remove the voices and keep it as an actual documentary
In the early cretaceous a few million years before the fourth episode of WWD a thing that was actually good and next to the western interior seaway. Patchi is the youngest and smallest in a litter of tiny baby Torosaurus like dinosaurs that are being out competed by pronghorn like mammals. Their father Bulldust the leader is the leader of the herd. Patchi is also attacked by a bird, which attempts to eat him, but he is saved by his caring mother, resulting in Patchi having a hole in his frill as an injury.
Later, Bulldust moves his herd south as well, but when they try to pass through a forest, they are forced to flee when the local Dromaeosaurs make fire to flush out some pronghorns and a forest fire erupts. Taking advantage of the chaos, a pack of dromaeosaurs attacks the scattered herd. They kill most of Patchi and Scowler's family, while their leader and alpha, Gorgon, fights and kills Bulldust while he’s trying to run away as he cares nothing about his children thanks to his kind's ability to breed like rabbits. Afterwards, Patchi's herd, now led by Bulldust's mate, combine with a female named Juniper's herd as they continue their migration. Gorgon's pack attacks them again, and in the ensuing chaos, Patchi, Scowler, Juniper (and many others) fall into a river and are swept downstream to the ocean all juveniles but Juniper, Scowler and Patchi killed in the process, with a scavenger bat following them from above. At a beach, Scowler follows a herd of rhino like mammals to find food, leaving Patchi and Juniper behind as they are scarred up and Juniper's eye is destroyed. The two make their way through a forest and eventually are able to find their herd and Scowler.
After years of making the same migration from north to south and vice versa, the leader of the herd is killed in a river by two cetans Scowler confronts his brother and his gang of friends and challenges him for a battle in exchange for leadership of the herd. Scowler, as he is much stronger and larger than Patchi, quickly gains the upper hand and defeats his brother by trapping him under a young tree before disowning him and ordering Juniper, along with the rest of the herd, to leave Patchi behind. Despondent and heartbroken, Patchi, now trapped underneath the tree and unable to do anything, attempts to accept his fate by allowing scavengers to kill and eat him but thanks to a pterosaur literally pecking out his eye while looking at a butterfly he has the rage to go out fighting.
Reinvigorated by the bat, Patchi and his friends (actually just a bunch of dragonflies that live on his back but like him despite their intelligence) escapes and fights off the scavengers, before catching up to the herd, only to find them confronted by Gorgon and her pack once more (now its gets dark) they manage to scare most of the herd and a bunch of Pronghorn like mammals into a river which causes most to drown, during the battle between Gorgon and the ceratopsians. Scowler pushes Juniper accidentally into a hole with a spike and kills her. patchi in a fit of rage fights Scowler and has his last remaining eye gouged out but he manages to push him off a cliff that was there and while Patchi looks like he's contemplating his action when he is just standing there when Gorgon and her pack kill him, meanwhile a male approaches Gorgon and drops the head of Juniper in front of her she accepts this and leaves to mate.
It then cuts to the survivors who are building up their nest and thanks to their rerouted migration which saves them and their kind from extinction from the Pronghorns. Gorgon's pack have to move away and the lovely gory ecosystem collapses a few million years after this thanks to the arrival of Brutodon which out compete the definitely not sauropod replacement mammals that look like giraffes that will become the largest creatures on earth and it ends on one of Gorgon's young evolving WWM style into the giant theropods from Nigel Marvin's adventures with the largest creatures on earth. The credits this time are of a before and after showing the area in Patchi and friends era and in Nigel marvin's adventures era showing the river area where Patchi was killed into the river area where the Brutodon laid their eggs.
Species/ replacements
Nanotorosaurus replaces Pachyrhinosaurus
Nanogigantosaurus replaces Gorgosaurus
Pronghornodontids replaces Parkosaurus
Parkosaurs replace Chirostenotes
Loxodontamimus replaces Edmontonia
mega Dragonfly, Nanoanurognthathus and mega bats replace Quetzocoatlus
Brontomimus replaces the hadrosaurs
Atroxodontids replace troodontids
Tiny Compusnathids replace Alphadon
Avitelmessus replaces Avitelmessus (crab evolution wasn't that impacted)

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★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318

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★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646

★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574

★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257

★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255

★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287

⎯

★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461

★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436

★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353

★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212

★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127

⎯

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363

★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269

★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192

★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126

⎯

★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412

★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227

⎯

★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214

★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192

★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105

⎯

★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216

★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198

★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111

⎯

★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368

★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228

★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201

★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108

★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105

★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99

★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85

⎯

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127

⎯

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111

⎯

★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146

★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168

⎯

★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375

⎯

★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137

★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608

★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305

★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

GLOVES

★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204

★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142

★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84

★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

⎯

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75

⎯

★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359

★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229

★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77

★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48

⎯

★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733

★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292

⎯

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212

★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160

★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101

⎯

★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59

⎯

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62

WEAPONS

AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130

AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70

AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72

⎯

AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81

AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79

AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79

AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68

StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55

⎯

Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623

Desert Eagle Emerald Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $241

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Printstream FT, B/O: $54

⎯

M4A1-S Blue Phosphor FN, B/O: $434

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Bright Water MW, B/O: $55

⎯

M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1465

M4A4 Asiimov BS, B/O: $55

M4A4 Hellfire MW, B/O: $50

⎯

USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $72

USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69

StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $139

⎯

AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $234

P90 Run and Hide FT, B/O: $147

Five-SeveN Candy Apple FN, B/O: $61

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - Factory New (FN), Minimal Wear (MW), Field-Tested (FT), Well-Worn (WW), Battle-Scarred (BS), Stickers Holo/Foil/Gold - Katowice 2014, Krakow 2017, Howling Dawn, Katowice 2015, Crown, London 2018, Cologne 2014, Boston 2018, Atlanta 2017, Cluj-Napoca 2015, DreamHack 2014, King on the Field, Harp of War, Winged Difuser, Cologne 2016, Cologne 2015, MLG Columbus 2016, Katowice 2019, Berlin 2019, RMR 2020, Stockholm 2021, Antwerp 2022, Swag Foil, Flammable foil, Others - Souvenirs, Agents, Pins, Passes, Gifts, Music Kits, Cases, Keys, Capsules, Packages, Patches

Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.

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