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Hello, I'm back for another go. Here's my first attempt. I understand why some people were calling it anime-ish, but wanted to clarify that it's actually a highly character and relationship-based novel with only a background focus on fighting. But since the internal conflict is more important, I'll try my best to focus more directly on it. I do have to at least mention the antagonists though. Keep in mind, the fighting mainly occurs in the end, so for most of the story the island is pretty calm with just a looming dread of the incoming conflict in the background, as Samoor develops and cultivates relationships.
Dear Agent,
I am excited to present the Foreigner of All, a 99K word YA escapist adventure standalone novel with strong series potential. It would appeal to fans of Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone, The Alchemist, and Into The Wild.
Finally breaking under the alienation caused by his phenotypical condition that makes him resemble a foreigner, Samoor starts a new life on an idyllic island with a new identity.
He finds friends for the first time in his life in the form of a caring local clan. Through them he meets Su, an intelligent musician who shows him love he never thought he'd ever be given. With a fake backstory he's tailored to hide his insecurities and gain their respect, he has to live a lie that could come crashing down any minute.
But as he soon finds out, all is not well on the island. He plots to liberate the only true family he's ever had from the brutal gang of hyper-intelligent beasts that dominates the island. He also finds himself stalked by an obsessive assassin whose motive threatens to throw him at odds with a deadly omnipresent syndicate. His dangerous endeavor could risk him losing the first family and home he's ever attained.
In this heavily character-based bildungsroman, Samoor experiences true acceptance as he develops his relationship with his newfound family and soulmate, but simultaneously deals with memories of the family he's left behind and the fear that his dishonesty will be found out.
In this deeply emotional adventure of fulfillment and discovery, Samoor has to come to terms with his past and decide who he wants to be going forward.
[Bio]
Thank you,

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H everyone! Just wanting some advice on carts. I struggle to get to sleep and have been prescribed flower for this. While it helps me sleep, it’s annoying if I wake up and can’t get back to sleep and have to sit and wait for my vmax to heat up, and tbh find the whole process a little tedious anyway. Wanting to switch to carts to see how i like them. I’ve seen mixed reviews for kind medical (leaking), urbanleaf (harsh) and phytoca.
Would love a day time one to lift my mood that isn’t anxiety inducing as I’m on cbd for my anxiety. just a little something to give me a warm hug. Just wanna weigh some pros and cons before my next consult with Candor today/tomorrow.
I should also mention my tolerance is non existent as I only have 1 dosage capsule before bed each night for about 4-5 nights a fortnight (I work away and can get randomly tested so pull up a few days beforehand incase) so I’m not phased about them being a waste to some, because my Kind Libra has lasted me about 6 months, that’s how little I use hahaha.
Thankyou so much!!

It's behind a paywall so here's the full thing:
The Sport Republic group admit they were too removed from the action and recruited poorly as their first full season since taking over ended with the drop.
I meet the three men who own Southampton in what is about to become their new shared office at the club’s impressive training ground. They have had a few weeks longer to dwell on what went wrong this past season than their counterparts at Leeds United and Leicester City and one clear conclusion they have drawn is that they should have spent more time at the club. Rasmus Ankersen and Henrik Kraft are the co-founders of Sport Republic, which bought Southampton in January 2022 with the financial backing of Dragan Solak, a Serbian businessman.
“We were not close enough to understand what was really going on,” Ankersen says. “That’s a major lesson for us. We acted like a parent who is sending money to their kid but not sending their love and attention,” Solak says. “It never works and it didn’t work in our case as well. That’s why we are going to be close, to show support, to know what is going on, and knowing exactly what the club needs. We thought a huge amount of financial support would resolve a lot but it didn’t really.”
There have been, as a consequence, a raft of executive changes, including Solak, a self-made Serbian businessman, becoming the chairman of Sport Republic.
Solak had assumed he would be a silent investor “coming to a few games and enjoying some of them” but now he will help with strategy and give Kraft the space to become, in the long term, the chairman of Southampton.
“When we were relegated,” Solak says, “I thought it was important we showed the people at the club and the supporters that we are going nowhere. If anything, we will be here more than before.”
From his distant vantage point Solak could not work out why the players “sometimes did not have enough heart, it did not look like a synchronised effort”.
He wondered if there was a psychological problem. “We know we have great players, but they don’t show that in the games,” he says. “Some answers we got from the club were, ‘Don’t worry, it will be better.’
“We would now like to know more about the life of the club and to be supportive to enable them to be the best possible. We were not failed by the people in the club, I failed them. I should have been closer to everything.” From now on he will be, as he puts it, “part of the family”.
Supporters had witnessed what began as a promising takeover gradually become dysfunctional in terms of results. The owners refute that they in any way briefed against Ralph Hasenhüttl who was sacked in November. They backed the Austrian in the summer of 2022, having enjoyed a short honeymoon period up until the previous March.
“It became clear it wasn’t working and then there was the unique situation of the World Cup coming up and there was speculation and negativity,” Kraft says. “It wasn’t a foregone conclusion. We wanted him to be successful, why wouldn’t we?”
“I personally like the guy, we play golf together,” Solak says. “He lost the confidence in being able to turn things around.”
Nathan Jones proved a spectacular disappointment as Hasenhüttl’s replacement. “When we appointed Nathan it was based on what we needed to improve to stay in the Premier League,” Ankersen says. “We had stopped being aggressive, being on the front foot, we had problems with set pieces and Nathan had proven he had been able to instil that in a team [Luton Town] that was in the Championship, but which has now been promoted. It was not to do with his character, he’s a great guy, he’s hungry.”
“We have to admit we didn’t see him not being able to handle the media pressure at Premier League level,” Solak says. “If he could have been more calm and calculated after the games he would have stayed longer.
“Him being too honest and losing it a little bit in front of the cameras turned the fans against him. He definitely didn’t do what we wanted, but it was not too bad. He was the guy who stopped Pep Guardiola [after victory over Manchester City in the League Cup] having the chance of a Quadruple.”
Much criticism was aimed at the club for buying young players with no Premier League experience in January. “Everyone wants a proven Premier League striker, they are hard to find,” Ankersen says. “January is a hard window.”
Ankersen admits “we didn’t get the balance right”, but points out that Carlos Alcaraz was particularly productive in spite of only playing half a season. “To some extent the young players were carrying the team,” he says.
The elder statesman of Southampton is James Ward-Prowse, who is contracted until 2026, and given that the 28-year-old has been at the club his entire career, it would be a wrench for the fans to see him leave.
“Of course, we would love to keep him,” Ankersen says. “He is Mr Southampton, he’s done amazing things. He will be in demand. If there is something that comes up that satisfies the club financially and satisfies James then out of respect we will have to have that conversation. “It would be selfish to say, we have a contract, and not fair to him,” Solak adds. “If he can play Champions League football next season, then that would be great for him. We have to see who will approach us.”
Will they try to blitz the Championship or work their way organically through the challenges? “We would like to do it organically and then blitz,” Solak laughs.
“We are building an organisation that is fit for purpose and has all the capabilities to go straight back to the Premier League,” Kraft says. “When you look at the infrastructure and the facilities then you can see this is a club that belongs in the Premier League. Our goal is unashamedly to win the Championship. We’re not doing a patch job, we’re doing it in the right way.”
They will need the right manager and the recommendation of Jason Wilcox, the new director of football, recruited from Manchester City in January, will hold the most weight. The successor to Rubén Sellés will be in situ by the time the team return for pre-season training at the end of June.
Both Ankersen and Kraft are motivated to build something innovative, a multi-club structure that unearths talent in Africa and, according to Kraft, “to prove you can build a model that is financially sustainable because there is a belief in football that the only way to compete is to throw money at it. We’re trying to break that.”
“I just thought it’s going to be great fun,” Solak says of his motivation. “I thought I was going to be a passive investor but as I become more active, I love it. In the Championship I might have more happy weekends.”

I have asus fx505dy laptop with AMD ryzen 3550H. I bought a klissre 8gb 2666 ddr4 RAM. Existing ram is 8gb ddr4 2666(some other company). The laptop shows black screen and only fan noises when the new RAM is inserted. I thought the rams are not compatible so I tried booting with only the new RAM, still the same problem. I thought the new RAM is probably faulty(can't expect much from AliExpress RAM) but peculiar thing is when I put only my original RAM in the other slot, it also shows black screen. But laptop boots fine when original ram is put in original slot. I also tried CMOS reset routine of removing main battery and the disk battery and pressing the power button after inserting new RAM. What could be the issue?

I married a serial cheater and criminal, a straight up sadist who enjoys inflicting pain on others. This guy is a Muslim but does not act like one. He calls himself Scorpio on purpose constantly to express how dangerous he is. That says a lot. I can go on and on. He left me homeless in the streets etc, abandoned me pregnant, he is undocumented, only married me for a green card, secretly had girlfriends behind my back the entire time, was homeless the entire time. Also stole thousands and thousands from me before fleeing. Physically abusive “kiss my feet that I’m even giving you the privilege to sit next to me” type of sadist
But the thing is I’m pregnant and I don’t know if it’s shaitan telling me to get abortion now !!!! I was always against it but somehow it’s creeping in my mind. I never never never ever ever wanted to get an abortion my entire life. I was always heavily against it. But I don’t know if it’s shaitan talking to me now. I even consulted with imams and they all say I can’t which comforted me at the time. But now it’s troubling me. I was heavily contemplating it for 4 weeks and ultimately decided against it. But now I’m 9 weeks and sometimes I fantasize that something will end me instead of having to actively kill this soul inside of me
Even my religious family wants the abortion because they can’t stand the guy. If the baby is born, the abusive ex husband will have a say in my life permanently. I don’t think I am strong enough to live with that pain.
I don’t want his girlfriends beating my child behind my back when hes watching the kid. I don’t want them doing “sihir” or witchcraft on my child. I don’t want his evil spirited family and girlfriends telling my child bad things about me or my family. My nightmare is if they turn my own child against me. I don’t want all my hard work raising a newborn/infant/toddler going in vain because of who his sadistic father is. I fear what if this man controls my life because of this baby? I fear what if the baby sees how his father treats me and becomes disrespectful? What if the baby likes the evil new stepmother more than me, his real mom? I’m very terrified of the father infiltrating and corrupting the mind of this innocent soul growing inside me. I’m the one who has to suffer with the pain of labor. The one who will without a doubt change diapers feed and put to bed and spend the most time with the baby. I’m scared the however (%) of time the dad will see the baby, the father’s evil will leak into his spirit.
I’m terrified of the future and i want this baby but I don’t want his womanizer, sadistic, hypocrite father in the life. It’s making me consider abortion. Please please please guide me. I am losing hope. I don’t want to resort to this.

First Previous Next
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
— Langston Hughes
Catalogue Description
Self-Monitoring Behavioural Management Report: Casimir Szymański, Scazim Institute of Science and Technology - English Translation
Date:
15 Summer-2 3429 (Standard Parimthian Calendar)
November 23rd, 2162 (Gregorian Calendar)
Held by:
The UK National Archives, Kew
Legal status:
Public Record(s)
My father worshipped a fabricated, pagan prophet.
The Senghavi of the Parimthian Empire are principally joined under the ditheistic religion called Siedi, which I do not subscribe to. Of course, the Senghavi's literature, art, and faith flooded the whole of Earth upon their arrival a century ago. From this ocean of civilised culture, my degenerate species drew a sample, claimed it as our own, and polluted it with a distorted, appropriated, dumbed-down doctrine.
The central figure in this corrupt sample of Siedi was a man whom my father called Jesus Christ. He was said to have offered himself as a sacrifice that could be made to a single God. It was a final sacrifice, one beyond lambs or cattle or people. One that would atone for humanity's sins, so that we could have the free choice between the eternal presence of God and the eternal absence of "Him."
My father dressed himself in black, with a standing collar whose white fabric was exposed at the centre. That much, I could recall. He preached to hopeful humans in what was called a church, though I did not know what he was preaching. At the very least, my childhood is fuzzy in that regard.
The pain that throbbed through my skull, after the blonde savage had slammed my head against the ridges of the airlock, faded into the background. I could not focus; perhaps, I thought, one of their improvised explosives had gone off by accident. There was blue Senghavi blood staining my dress shirt. The rush of air escaping into vacuum pierced my ears.
Perhaps it was thirst of water, which binds most sapient beingsthe Sons of Liberty had reached an agreement with the Colonial Defence Force to allow spacecraft delivering food, water, and medical aid, only to unleash the anti-collision lasers of this cursed spaceliner upon those very ships.
Or perhaps it was the explosion, as I initially thought, an inadvertent complication which had wrought injury and death over my countrymen, and which had forced the terrorist savages to attempt to patch up the many hull breaches left by debris.
Or perhaps it was simply the stress of betraying, in my desperate efforts to save everyone from this senseless violence, the greatest secret of the Senghavi Terrans: our antimatter research. Word of it had likely been forwarded already, hundreds of light-years away, to that pink-hued marble which was Parimth itself.
Or perhaps it was all three; thirst, explosion, and stress. In any case, my mind shut it all out, and something lost from my childhood flashed before me:
We're standing on the cracked street of the Vennec Human Reservation. In the distance, the Senghavi's white, glassy spires reach above the clouds, their accents of luminescence dim in the broad daylight.
I hold a ball in my palm. It's wrapped in white leather held together with red stitching. I toss it to Dad.
Instead of his clerical uniform, he wears the normal "T-shirt" and "cargo shorts." Along with the clerical getup, they are just two of the many sorts of clothing which the Senghavi have invented for humanity. I toss the ball to Dad, and he swings a primitive wooden bat.
The ball goes soaring, further than he meant to. He jogs down the road to retrieve it, then gives me the wooden bat. The breeze ruffles his hair just as he ruffles mine with his hand.
"Now, you try," he says. "It's just practice, that's all."
For some reason, he lifts one leg in the air, then pitches the ball to me. I swing. The impact of the ball shakes through the wood, and it goes careening off to the left.
"I did it!" I yell. "But it went out of bounds."
"Heyyyy, that's not bad," Dad says with a reassuring voice. "Good job, just try to go a little more right next time."
Mom comes out onto the front porch, the breeze ruffling her dress as she waves to Dad. "Dinner's ready, and Mom's pie is... almost ready."
I stare blankly at her until I realise that she is talking about her Mom, Grandma, who is the best at making pumpkin pie.
"The pie!" I shout, running and jumping to the front door. "I totally forgot about that!"
I am ready to speed my way through dinner just so I can get to dessert, but Dad stops me before my first bite.
Of course, I think. We need to say grace. Me, Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Grandpa all hold hands, thanking God for our food, and then dig in. But Mom and Dad just talk about work, and I am too focused on finishing my food quickly to pitch in.
Finally—Grandma's pie!
When you bite into the soft, smooth filling, you can instantly tell it's been made with fresh pumpkins, not the boring canned ones. The taste of cinnamon and spice is balanced out perfectly with the coolness of the whipped cream.
The flavour spreads through my tongue and nostrils, filling my entire brain with a feeling of amazing-ness. If I wrote the Simple-Speak Dictionary for Senghavi Terrans, I'd put Grandma's pie next to the translation of "perfection."
I should save a slice, I think, for the Senghavi kid.
Even though it's only been a week since I met him through the playground fence, we already told each other where we live, and I want to get to know him more. He doesn't live on the Vennec Human Reservation, but his house is just a bike-ride away in Fellye Neighborhood.
I wonder if anyone's ever given pumpkin pie to an alien before. Even though humans only invented it fifty years ago, it makes me feel proud of my species!
When Mom tucks me into bed, kissing my forehead, I tell her what I'm going to do.
"Oh, you wild thing," she coos. "You're so much like your father. And you have his eyes, you know? Just stay safe."
"Don't worry, I'll do my best."
>! "Good night. I love you." !<
>! "I love you, too, Mom," I say. I hug her tightly from my bed, and a warm, fuzzy feeling blossoms within me. I can hardly fall asleep in my excitement. !<
Luckily, Fellye Neighborhood doesn't take apartheid that seriously, and I don't think anybody cares about an eight year-old human riding his bicycle around the gates.
Next evening, I do just that, peddling out of the Reservation's entrance into the violet dusk. When I get to Mensim's address, I ring the hi-tech front doorbell, and a really tall Senghavi shows up.
"Oh, dear," she says in Parimthian. "A barbarian hatchling—by what name do you go?"
"I'm Casimir," I say nervously. I don't pay that much attention in school, but I know just enough Parimthian to talk to the Senghavi woman. "Are you Mrs. Munghazi? Is Mensim fe Munghazi here? I got two slices of pie. You can have one, too!"
She looks at me suspiciously, antennae twitching. "That would be Teacher Munghazi to you; I know not why you natives invented these odd 'Mister' and 'Missis' honorifics. Hold on—Ghanvati! A native hatchling stands at our doorstep!"
Ghanvati must be Mensim's dad. I wonder where his other moms are; only one has shown up to the door. Ghanvati shows up with two of them—they are both shorter and daintier than Teacher Munghazi, their raptorial forelimbs folded shyly against their bodies. In front of the group of three is Mensim, and I involuntarily gasped with excitement.
"Mensim!"
"This is your new companion?" Ghanvati asks Mensim.
Mensim's papery forewings flicker with affirmation. "I met him at school."
"What, pray tell, is the point of apartheid if it does not actually keep natives away from Senghavi?" whines one of Ghanvati's wives.
Ghanvati's antennae droop as if to say "I don't know," while Mensim lifts my arms, inspecting me like I am a test animal in a mad scientist's laboratory.
"How do you guys not get cut all the time?" he asks, tracing his tarsal hairs over my bare skin. "You're so fleshy!"
"I do get cut all the time," I giggled. "We just use band-aids. Oh, do you wanna eat a pumpkin pie?"
It turned out that pumpkin pie is bad for alien stomachs. Mensim had to go to the bathroom for a long time, and three of his moms got mad at me.
When I got back, Dad and Mom were arguing. I snuck close to the back porch, making sure they couldn't hear me.
"Yes, they leave some people alone," Dad said. "Obviously, they can't spy on every single human who believes in human religions. But Katarzyna, they still need people to make an example out of, and I don't want to be that person!"
"Casimir is a responsible kid," Mom retorts. "I told him he can't tell anyone what you do, and he listens to me."
"He's eight years old. You can't just let him wander around aliens with a secret that could have me killed! Or have *you *killed!"
Mom cups Dad's cheek and looks him in the eye. She's a lot shorter than him. "Look, love. You're a great father, and I think it's amazing that you spend time with him. But you're the only person he talks to. You know just as well as I do that he needs to talk to other kids! It's not healthy; even Teacher Perevvoxath agreed. And now he finally has a friend."
Dad sighs, running his hands through his black hair. My hair. "You really think aliens are a substitute for human interaction?"
>! "I think every human needs a person they can talk to, and Casimir found one. If you really care about him, stop preaching for a while! Your church isn't gonna die without you. It'll be okay." !<
The next day, I visit Mensim's house after school again. And the next day after that, and the next after that. His dad Ghanvati is formally named Engineer Munghazi. I am to call his moms Teacher Munghazi, Teacher Munghazi, Teacher Munghazi, Accountant Munghazi, Priestess Munghazi, Doctor Munghazi, and Maidservant Munghazi.
A couple weeks later, Mensim and I are lounging together on his couch, watching a Parimthian war movie. The main characters are fighting against the evil forces of the Imperium of Orion. Under his head capsule, Mensim is munching something called Synth-Fruit, which is imported from a faraway planet called Mryi. I eat Pop-Tarts, which I'm pretty sure are toxic to him.
"Come on, just give me one," Mensim exclaims, reaching over to steal the sweet snacks from me. "It can't be that bad!"
I lift the Pop-Tarts away from him, laughing. "Stoppit, you're attacking me! Pay attention to the movie, or I'm gonna shoot you!"
"But I just want one..."
"It's gonna poison you, and you're gonna get your weird alien throw-up all over me!"
Priestess Munghazi, the oldest of his moms, bursts into the living room, her jewellery clinking over her clerical cape.
"Your sister conveyed to me quite the disturbing piece of news, Mensim," Priestess Munghazi cries. "The father of Casimir is a priest of a most barbarous and evil perversion of the Siedi faith. Ghanvati and I spoke, and we agreed that you are not to consort with this primitive, pagan savage any longer."
I drop my crumbly Pop-Tart on the couch, confused at the sudden order.
"But Priestess Munghazi, I'm not dangerous or evil. I'm just a kid."
"Nonsense! You are dangerous; your father is a barbarian worshipper of this evil, primate paganism that is called Christianity, and a most woeful effect is begot that even self-respecting Senghavi have 'gone native,' as they say. Mensim, if you continue to consort with this native spawn, I will be impelled to inform the Siedi Court, and they may by chance see to it that he is executed!"
"W-Wait!" Mensim says, holding up the remote to pause our movie. He gets off of me, suddenly losing interest in my Pop-Tart, his vestigial forewings rising with concern. "Please, Mother. I promise he won't be any trouble."
My blood runs cold. Dad, executed? Just because what he believes in isn't "civilised" enough? Actually, I thought that Mom told him to stop preaching for a while.
Mensim scrambles to *his *father's sleeping quarters, and I trail frantically after him.
"Father," Mensim says. "Is Casimir's father's job so ghastly that he should be executed by the Siedi Court?"
"We can't just let the natives spread the same barbarous religions that they used to kill each other," Ghanvati replies, his secondary arms clasped together. "It's a threat to safe, moral society. Priestess Munghazi told me his father spreads evil and paganism. I have no reason not to trust the oldest of your mothers."
"But Casimir's my best friend! If you tell the Siedi Court about his father, I'll... I'll run away! I'll hate you!"
Distressed vibrations emanate through the floor beneath my feet; Mensim's antennae and papery forewings and hindwings go limp. Something like lilies and the earthy scent of rain fills the air.
"My dearest Mensim," Ghanvati says softly, dipping his head capsule with compassion. "I will hold off, just this once. It would be apt of you not to cause me to reconsider."
"T-thank you, Engineer Munghazi," I say, wiping my own tears. "My dad's not a bad person, I promise."
*After confronting his dad, Mensim and I keep on watching movies and playing digital games. He always wins when we wrestle, but I still haven't given up (even though Priestess Munghazi always tells us to stop roughhousing). *
I even bring my Lego pieces to his house. He doesn't know what Legos are, but later, in his sleeping quarters, we build together. He makes a cool-looking spaceship that he calls a "negative energy generator."
"Hey, you took all the cool black and grey pieces," I complain. "Now I can't finish my army base!"
"This is cooler than your army base," Mensim says proudly. "Father used to work in one. It uses the superposition of squeezed vacuum states to produce a field of negative energy density."
"I have no idea what that means, but that sounds really smart."
*"No kidding! It's how people make wormholes and fly all the way to other stars." *
"Well, my army guys could beat your negative energy-thingy. They have machine guns."
"My guys could just fly a [~million billion trillion kilometres] away, and yours can't do anything about it!"
"Then your guys are wimps. But my guys aren't. Because they're the Army!"
>! *We also explore the pine forest in his backyard. Within just two more weeks, we have uncovered all sorts of interesting things, like a piece of a real human skull. One time, we found a human foot sculpted and smoothed out of stone—who would make such a thing?—and a dead metal device with the icon of a bitten-out-of apple printed on it. *!<
There were also other human body parts made out of ancient stone, too: the cracked half of a man's face buried a foot deep, a muscly arm sticking out of the soil. Even a private part, which I snickered at, though Mensim seemed unfazed.
There is something else we start to do. My parents have given me "the talk," and Mensim told me that his parents gave him the Senghavi version of it. And so even as we talk and play in the woods, we experiment—because we are curious, and why should we not be?
A fragment of a memory in the forest; Mensim's raptorial forelimbs are set on my shoulders as his compound eyes look into my primate eyes, and he says, "You cannot tell anyone about this. Anyone. Absolutely no one."
I don't know how, but Priestess Munghazi learned of what we were doing, and now she expresses anger and disgust alike, her wings and antennae wild and rigid. Ghanvati is the same. Mensim and I... We're actually making them reconsider their decision not to tell the Siedi Court about my dad.
A fragment of a memory... I feel like I am in space, stranded aboard a spaceliner that has been hijacked by terrorists, its atmosphere venting amid a backdrop of violence... But I am not, I am in the forest that Mensim and I talked and played in; I am in Mensim's home, terrified as I am yelled at by Ghanvati, whose compassion no longer shines through, accompanied by Priestess Munghazi.
"By the names of the Gods, it's those false, pagan corruptions which humans have named as their religions, that are spouted by your father," Priestess Munghazi spits. I am teary-eyed and snot-nosed from guilt and embarrassment. "How horrid is the link between the state of barbarism and a most revolting and shameful propensity for bizarre and perverted behaviour!"
Then I am in my own family's living room, and the mom I love so dearly yells at me, too, but my father is quieter and only seems disappointed. This must be the first time in my life that I have felt true shame, I think; the kind that leaves you with an emptiness inside. Like the whole point of existing just vanished inside of me.
*The worst part is that I cannot even lean on Mom's shoulder, because she is distressed—because she knows what will happen— *
"This is all on you, Casimir!" she screeches, tears in her eyes. "All on you!"
I remember telling Priestess Munghazi that 'I'm not dangerous or evil; I'm just a kid,' but now I can't be sure anymore. I can tell I am different in the eyes of my family. They are disgusted by me.
After Priestess Munghazi tells the Siedi Court of my father's evil, barbaric Christian teachings, the Parimthian soldiers bring my father to the gallows. Their snow-white exoskeletons gleam under a burning sun. They have dressed him in his clerical uniform, and the camera is close enough that I can see his cross necklace.
I have been grounded in my room; still, I have a television to see the live broadcast.
Hanging works for primates and mantids alike. It happens in the Forum of Movvaeti, the venue for public events in our area, where my father is a lesser criminal compared to the native leaders and Senghavi malcontents who have dissented from Colonial Governor Nieve fe Skellth.
He is joined with seven other convicts, three humans and four Senghavi, and their crimes are read to the crowd—blasphemy, paganism, monogamy, witchcraft, seditious libel, insulting the Parimthian Crown, treason against the Parimthian Crown, and refusal to quarter Parimthian soldiers.
Why? None of this feels right. Why should my father be killed because of what he says and believes? Why can't these people be judged with fairness, rather than at the whim of some distant space emperor?
Not only have I been grounded, but I grow cold without my mother's touch. I want to hold someone's hand while watching Dad lose his life, but nobody is there. Mom brings me food, but she doesn't even look at me. Why can't she look at me? Why can't she speak to me? I just want things to be the way they used to be, when Dad would help me practise hitting a ball with a bat on the street.
I watch him turn down a caped, bejewelled priestess of the Siedi faith, who thought she could make my dad accept their Gods before his death. Before a modest crowd of humans and Senghavi alike, all eight of the convicts have their arms and legs bound with rope.
I am begging myself to turn the TV off, but I can't bring myself to. The Senghavi executioner uses some kind of hi-tech display to remove the supports from beneath the convicts' feet. My stomach flips over inside of me, a nausea of shame filling my body.
I can't deny it any longer. This is my fault—this is why my family avoids me—this is why they are disgusted by me—and Dad falls and his head jerks when the noose goes taut.
As he hangs there, I cannot tell for how long he remains alive. My insides are cold. After the broadcast ends, after night falls and I sit in the moonlight spilling faintly through my windows, that is when it all comes out. I sob alone. I scream for Mom to help me and be there for me, but she does not come. Her harsh voice resonates through my memory; this is all on me. I am a disgrace to everyone I love, and that is why they have left me here. Why they avoid me as if I am a disease.
The only thing I want is to see Dad again, but he is gone forever. I curl up on my room floor. What is this? What is this loneliness? This stinging hatred I feel against myself?
No one, human or mantid, will be there for me. I cry until my throat cannot ache any more harshly, until my eyes cannot sting any more painfully, and then I go cold inside, my body shivering in the moonlight. I retreat into my happy memories with Dad until it is too painful to bear.
I wish so dearly I could end it all, to take my own life and join Dad in the heaven that he believed in. There is a belt in my closet that I can use on myself in the way the Siedi Court killed Dad.
But beneath the sickly well of shame, the nausea and crushing humiliation at the stupid antics of Mensim and I, with which Mom's brief gaze pierces me—beneath the weight of knowing that I will never fill the torturous vacuum Dad left, knowing that I am a foul and disgusting son to the mother I so desperately need, that I see no end to the infinite river of anxiety and guilt pouring through the hole left in my heart—beneath my isolation and my longing for human touch—something breaks inside of me.
An emptiness of purpose. There is no point in going on, and I feel nothing, not even the desire to stop living. There is one exception: A hatred of myself, and of the humans I loved as family.
One day, Mom appears in my doorway, and she just stands there. Before, I would've welcomed being offered interaction with her beyond just receiving food, but now I am numb, my eyes all out of tears to cry.
"Pack your things," she says, her voice flat. She still doesn't look at me; the eyes she once said I inherited from Dad, she now shuns. "You're going to a residential school."
Indigenous Residential Schools; that is what Colonial Governor Nieve fe Skellth calls them, I think. They're for human kids who have trouble letting go of their "savage" roots; kids that the normal schools aren't enough to civilise. Schools that show you how to act Senghavi, to think Senghavi, to... be Senghavi.
There was a human kid in normal school whose sister went there, but they said that something had happened to her there; something in that residential school had changed her before she finally returned.
But I feel no fear as I pack my clothes into my bags. Every time I look in my bedroom mirror, a violent feeling rushes to my chest, only to dissipate into the hatred-tinged numbness I have grown so used to.
Finally, the time comes to depart. In the early morning, I am already aboard the autonomous public transport. It pulls out of the cracked street I once played with Dad in, passing by the entrance of Fellye Neighborhood, driving off into the fiery, violet Terran dawn. I see my faded reflection in the window, and my chest jumps with revulsion.
So I look down, fidgeting with my touchpad—then the numbness abruptly leaves, and my tears fall once again.
Forgive me for all the redaction, Doctor Morgthax. While I will not disclose what I wrote, you are correct, as always, about the act of writing. There is some semblance of psychological relief in typing one's sullen inner thoughts onto a touchpad. As if one can be heard without being heard.
By the time I drifted back to reality, my mouth and lips dry from dehydration, the hijackers had patched up the holes punched through the hull by the accidental explosion. Plenty of Senghavi passengers were spilling cerulean blood from beneath their exoskeletal coverings; though they were all alive, they needed medical attention.
Two hundred-something Senghavi civilians aboard this luxury spaceliner, and none had yet died. That stroke of luck offered me a glimmer of hope.
Pavok, the child, was emitting vibrations through the floor in his despair, the smell of rain and lilies becoming evident to me. It is starkly fascinating, the evolutionary dissimilarity between how native Terrans and Senghavi Terrans cry.
Those ships were delivering medical aid and critical provisions to the passengers, Commander Lokprel barked, the neutrino signals that encoded his gruff voice coming out from the intercom. Why did you laser them?
"Stop playing games," Jake snapped wearily into his radio. I recalled that his full name was Jacob Weaver, as Commander Lokprel had mentioned. A drop of blood streaked down his face. "We know what you're up to."
Paranoia will get you nowhere, Jacob. If we don't work with each other, you won't survive. We have detected an explosion aboard the spaceliner. Is anyone dead?
"Not yet," Jake growled. "But Fenni Svim will be if your forces keep approaching!"
Fenni Svim—the Senghavi from the Vellir Veneti Physics Lab, against whose skull Jake had pressed his pistol to halt the CDF's initial approach, hours ago—stiffened in her seat. I had never known the nuclear researcher very well before this barbarous event, but I prayed to the Gods of Siedi (whom I do not really believe in) that she would be okay.
Many of the passengers were still being kept by the windows to deter snipers. They included Pavok, behind whom Khadija stood guard.
"Sorry for attacking you," Jake suddenly said to me, his voice worn-out. "It's like Khadija said. The bugs know that humans are strong when they're united. It's why they try to play us against ourselves, to ally with just some of us, to try to make us hate each other; to hate ourselves. It's how they tore the United States apart. Everything they do... It's to make us ashamed of our species, our own culture, to lose hope in the future. If we were united, Casimir... they'd be terrified of us. And make no mistake—we're uniting again."
"E-even if what you say about mankind is true," I croaked, "Our species would not have settled anywhere but Earth. Our culture and history would still have been negligible and primitive, the richness and complexity of the Senghavi, still greater by many orders of magnitude."
"Casimir, did you go to one of the Indigenous Residential Schools?" Khadija asked.
"Y-yes," I managed, dusting off my formal wear and cleaning my glasses. "I was sent to one as a child. They are for those of us savage natives which conventional education could not sufficiently civilise."
Khadija's eyes softened with compassion, and she gestured to my wrist. "I asked because of that code on your wrist. I've heard about some of the things that happen in those places. The cruelty; the abuse."
I glanced at the abstract identification code tattooed onto my skin, faded with time. I hadn't thought about it in ages; it was but a remnant of my childhood, and I never paid it any attention.
"Residential schooling is necessary and proper," I tell her. "It is similar to human-mantid apartheid in its purpose; it keeps the public safe from savagery. "
"If we get out of this alive, I'm gonna take you with me to Russia," she said, wiping sweat from her brow. "Specifically, Moscow. It's where I lived after the fall of Türkiye. Man controls it, not the Senghavi."
I was already aware that a vast, untamed region named Zvorriu-Sai, located in Earth's northeastern quarter-sphere, is called Russia in simple-speak. A decade ago, Nieve fe Skellth had tried to civilise the hunter-gatherers who lived there, but his troops starved and froze in the snow.
It was with the multitude of planetary habitat fabricators that his army had been using that the native primates of Zvorriu-Sai constructed such cities as Moscow or Saint Petersburg.
"Russian civilization goes back over a millennium," Khadija explained. "I don't give a fuck about what the Senghavi have built on this planet; Russian architecture is my favourite, hands down. Anyway, it's the most stable and self-sufficient of the ten countries we've got left. Hard to invade, you know? It's seen better days, but the cities are nice, the economy is good. I think you'll find it's a hell of a lot less 'savage' than whatever the fuck the Parimthian Empire is doing."
To corroborate her claims, she showed me a photo from the gallery of her cracked, dusty touchpad. Before a busy canal, the waters tinted orange by a rising sun, a more relaxed version of her smiled into the camera alongside some human of the phenotype I had seen in the video of Tokyo. Looming over them was an intricate, palatial structure topped with colourful, onion-shaped domes.
"How... quaint," I replied, unsure of what to say, though it ignited dry laughter in Khadija.
"Looks like we got a communiqué from the UN," another hijacker announced, his mask still covering his face. I couldn't place his accent at all. He held up his own touchpad, displaying photos of the Colonial Governor herself—Perellanth fe Sumur—flanked by armed UN military personnel. They were clad in urban camouflage that was marred with blood. The black, plant-like extraterrestrial gazed defeatedly in the sterile lighting.
The UN had captured her! The Crown's decision to appoint a Vire as the leader of a Senghavi colony had been no small event. I was certain that after all the talk of Senghavi Terran independence, then followed by the Colonial Governor's capture, His Imperial Majesty regretted his progressivist decision.
"We... We did it!" Jake exclaimed, his voice disbelieving. "We took down Perellanth!"
You achieved nothing, Commander Lokprel retorted over the intercom. Not beyond the promotion of Benghoviu fe Prim to Acting Colonial Governor. If you kill Governor Sumur, Governor Benghoviu will become the permanent Colonial Governor as per the chain of command, and he will carry on the fine work of his predecessor.
Jake seemed to consider that situation a fair one, and he nodded to himself subtly. "Okay, sure. But if you do nothing, we'll still kill our first hostage."
What I can promise you is that Delegate Essintsya fe Baryn will submit an Act to the Forum of Delegates to recognize the sovereignty of the UN. It will be deliberated over for months, but it is your only realistic option. In return, we demand that you allow the passengers injured by one of your explosives to board CDF medical ships.
I recalled that the Forum of Delegates had voted Benghoviu fe Prim as Vice Colonial Governor just a year ago. And before even that, the Senghavi who lived on Vennec—my home continent on Earth—had popularly elected the ever-prudent Essintsya fe Baryn to the Forum. She was quite the economic liberal, as her sort was called.
Delegate Baryn's statements on the social contract between a people and their government, as well as her rejection that the Parimthian Crown ruled by divine right, had resonated deeply with me.
Jake's eyes hardened, and he turned his radio back on. "I said no games!"
There are no games here, Jacob! We only aim to preserve as much sapient life as possible. And you are out of options.
The hijacker who had shown Colonial Governor Sumur's prison photo gave Jake a withering look. "We're dragging this on, man. I don't want anyone to die."
"Don't talk to me about death, Ramiro. Not after what happened in the US."
The so-called United States of America... called Gholo Vieda in Parimthian. That region was Nieve fe Skellth's last successful conquest before he attempted to take on the vast, snowy expanses of Zvorriu-Sai. I wondered if, like Khadija's experience in Türkiye in the Niethvahi region, Jake had witnessed firsthand the cultural assimilation and political integration of Gholo Vieda into the rest of Parimthian Earth.
The conquest of Gholo Vieda and Niethvahi were the great accomplishments of Perellanth's predecessor, of course; but, in my opinion, the devotion of the (now captured) Perellanth to the causes of liberty, reason, equality, and sapientism far outshadowed anything that Nieve had done. I am certain, however, that the Parimthian Crown disagrees.
In any case, my faith in CDF Commander Lokprel loth Fonvie had not risen. Perhaps that was a good thing; otherwise, I might have regretted betraying the knowledge of antimatter research in order to elicit a more competent Parimthian intervention.
More security forces took up positions around the spaceliner, each ship split sharply into sunlight and shadow amid the black of space. The hijacker called Ramiro pointed to a series of smaller craft, which seemed to be pulling away from the luxury spaceliner. Escape pods!
"Hostages are falling through our fingers," Ramiro said. "We need to do something."
"Go to the rear," Khadija ordered. "Stop anyone else from sneaking out!"
Jake's radio crackled with the voice of someone in the cockpit. We've intercepted a neutrino transmission from the new guy, Benghoviu fe Prim. He's calling for some kind of emergency council at the highest levels in the Parimthian Empire.
I scoffed internally. The Crown would intervene for the sake of investigating all this talk of antimatter, whose alluring utility had hitherto been confined to theory and fiction. But it was doubtful that His Imperial Majesty would agree to an emergency council for the sake of his colonists' security and well-being. As (relatively) progressivist as he was in policy, he was still very much a punitive emperor, not a rewarding one.
"I told the commander to stop advancing—dammit!" Jake spat. "We're only letting medical craft get any closer. Fire at the corvettes!"
Affirmative, his radio crackled. Targets in sight.
The spaceliner's anti-collision lasers flashed against several faraway spacecraft. A succession of oxygen-fueled fires, each lasting for a [~split-second] against the vacuum of space, flared in the distance. Even so, the growing array of naval craft began to close in upon us again, surrounding the spaceliner in every dimension.
Switching again to the neutrino-connected channel, Jake gave a disgusted scowl. "Are you deaf, Commander? If your people keep getting closer, the deal is off!"
The more you fire, the closer we will get, *Lokprel said. *We are just making sure it is safe for the medical craft. As long as you refrain from harming them, we will not hurt you.
The hijacker in the cockpit radioed to Jake again, her voice sounding more alarmed.
We're picking up a massive object on our scanners. It's headed our way.
"How massive are we talking?" Jake asked.
It's... some kind of warship, I think. Over a hundred times our size.
"You're joking, right?"
"A Parimthian spacecraft carrier," murmured a soft, whimpery voice.
It was Fenni Svim again, her praying raptorial forelimbs tucked close in fear.
"The Imperial Parimthian Navy?" I asked. "They're really here?"
"Y-you shouldn't act surprised," Fenni said. "I know you were speaking to someone on the P-Parimthian side. You leaked our greatest secret, Casimir."
"R-right."
"What's she talking about, dude?" Khadija asked. Suspicion of betrayal lingered in her dark eyes. She had believed the lie that I was only calling a loved one when I contacted Mensim, >! who is at present an agent of Parimth!<; she had trusted me, and defended me against Jake's wrath.
I didn't answer. The very reason we needed antimatter was that the colonists' outerspace spanned but a meagre few millionths of the Parimthian Empire's total volume. I did not know what exactly a spacecraft carrier one hundred times the size of our spaceliner could do for the hostages, but it would be far more competent than the comparatively flimsy Colonial Defence Force.
Finally, after so many years of strategic modesty in the administration of the Crown's distant colony, of his Earth, as His Imperial Majesty suffered expense upon expense in countering the Imperium of Orion... Parimth had sent a warship of the Imperial Parimthian Navy, here in full force!
There was no need to inquire as to its distance; I could see it through my window. It was far enough that I could view the whole of its great form. Senghavi architecture, of course, is usually round, white, and glassy, traced with glowing accents; however, the imperial warship was boxy and shadowy black, visible only by the silhouette that it carved into the beaming sun.
Already, dozens of smaller craft—operated by some of the finest Senghavi pilots in the Milky Way—began spilling out from the spacecraft carrier, moving in the shadow of their gargantuan mothership. As even the hostage passengers became aware of its presence, the muted chatter and whimpering, which had been ambient across the aisles of the spaceliner, finally ceased.
Because of me, all of us—colonists and savages alike—were, for the first time in a decade, going to face a military intervention by Parimth itself.

My wife and I have had tickets to an upcoming out of state Luke Combs concert since last year. We're both big fans and missed out on getting tickets to his local show last year. It's on a Saturday and the idea was to take Friday and Monday off and make it a long weekend - the concert is about five hours away.
First problem, someone at work beat me to asking for time off, and their PTO includes that Friday and Monday, so now I can't get either day off because we'd be empty-handed at work with both of us not there. It would be a short whirlwind type trip now where we leave after work on Friday, travel for five hours and then come back on Sunday morning/afternoon.
The second problem is the early forecast for that day is for PM thunderstorms and the concert is outside in a football stadium with no roof. It's 10 days out so the forecast could still change for the better (or for the worse)
The third problem, I have two people on my team at work, and they are both out of state that night. If I am too, and there's an emergency situation at work (unlikely but a non-zero chance) then we would be really up a creek with no coverage.
The fourth problem, Ticketmaster is only offering me $50 bucks per ticket for lower level endzone aisle seats. That would be a big loss on what I paid the day they went on sale - $105 apiece plus taxes and fees for a total of $247.
The mistake I made was not getting tickets to his Dallas show, which was in March in a stadium with a retractable roof, and at a time when there wasn't a bunch of staffing considerations at work. But we chose Kansas City, a little farther away, ecause I could stay there with family and save hotel costs.

I am a developer at an insurance company who is blind. I have worked in the same area for 14 years, but my company is migrating many of its systems to the cloud. I have wanted to freshen my skillset for a while, so I decided to pursue an AWS certification.
I started ACloudGuru’s course before COVID hit but didn’t like it. This was before I had heard about the use of AWS at my firm, which happened about a year ago. At that point, I tried Stephane Maarek’s course and gave myself three months before the exam. Listening to Maarek’s course felt like being hit with a bunch of facts without being able to apply them, so I canceled the exam and began Adrian Cantrill’s course in October. This mostly did the trick, since it’s centered around an actual scenario (building a cloud infrastructure for an animal rescue firm). I was able to visualize most of the infrastructure configurations in my head. For instance, when I heard about a transit gateway being used to connect multiple VPCs, I imagined a wheel or a fan with the VPCs being the blades and the transit gateway in the center. I found Cantrill’s technical fundamentals section which explained how networking works to be one of the most difficult parts to visualize and wound up listening to it three times. It was certainly very informative and covered a lot that I should have learned long ago. I may wind up listening to it again.
I was able to listen to the whole course at chipmunk speed since I have been listening to mechanical speech all my life. At first, I took notes, but found that 15-minute lessons were taking 45 minutes, so I started to just listen. I worked on Cantrill’s course sporadically during the fall, before he made the tech fundamentals section free. I had just moved to NYC and was getting a guide dog, so my time was limited. While I was training with the dog, I read How To Be a Straight A Student at the recommendation of a Slack user. I also took part of the Learning How to Learn course on Coursera at the recommendation of a Reddit user. I ramped up my studying around January and February and completed the course in April. My screen-reading software cannot read Instance Connect or Session Manager. The only way for me to use them was to do OCR on my screen, then read the output, then enter the next command, then repeat. There was one night when I spent three hours doing a single lesson this way, then his course had you delete the infrastructure and provision it automatically via CloudFormation. This was quite frustrating and there was one lab late in the course that I followed but did not do.
When I finished the course, I took the included practice exams and scored between 50 and 60 percent. I bought the practice pack from Tutorials Dojo and worked through it in review mode. I scheduled my exam for May 30th because of the free retake offer. I tried to use the pomodoro method to study in 25-minute segments as suggested in Learning How to Learn. By last week, I was still scoring around 70% on the TD exams and was worried. I crammed through most of Memorial Day weekend. By Monday night, I wasn’t as confident as I wanted to be, but my brain was mush. I kept getting tripped up by questions about Config Artifact, and other services that Cantrill did not cover extensively. sat through the test on Tuesday feeling like my chances of passing were 50/50 and passed with a 793. I could have scored considerably higher with a few more weeks of slow burn studying instead of cramming. But I am very relieved and would like to find opportunities to apply what I have learned. My only on-the-job experience has been testing an API call for an alerts system. I was allowed double time for the exam due to my disability, but only took three hours. I only flagged two questions for review, since I felt I either knew the answer or I didn’t. The TD exams had two or three questions with graphics that were inaccessible, but I had no issues with the real deal. Thanks to whoever recommended the Learning How to Learn course and the How to Be a Straight A student book. I would be happy to discuss more details about my experience with anyone and offer assistance to other blind people. Pearson Vue said the exam had not been tested with screen-readers, so I wonder whether any blind people have taken it before. My experience on the phone with them was awful, I spent half a day getting a few questions answered since I kept being placed on hold. This feels like the first credential I’ve achieved with no sighted assistance to speak of. This was important to me, but probably made the experience much more frustrating than it needed to be. My next goal is the SA Professional exam, but that’s at least a year off.

I used ChatGPT to ask a few questions about Babymetal. Here are the results. ChatGPT seems to like Babymetal (or just ignored so-called metal elitists).
Q: What is your opinion on Babymetal?
A: As an AI assistant, I have no personal opinion as I am only programmed to provide information. Babymetal is a Japanese metal band formed in 2010 that presents a unique blend of heavy metal and J-pop. They have a large fan base and are known for their energetic live performances.
Q: How does Babymetal stand out from other metal bands?
A: Babymetal stands out from other metal bands with their unique blend of heavy metal and J-pop. They combine hard guitar riffs and drum beats with catchy melodies and danceable choreography. They also have a distinctive visual aesthetic that combines elements from Japanese pop culture and the metal scene. All these factors make Babymetal a unique and innovative band in the metal scene.
Q: Can Babymetal be described as innovative?
A: Yes, Babymetal can definitely be described as innovative. They have created a unique fusion of heavy metal and J-pop, which is not a common combination in the music industry. They have also introduced new elements to the metal genre, such as incorporating choreographed dance routines into their live performances. Additionally, their visual style and stage presence are unlike any other metal band, making them stand out in the industry. All of these factors contribute to Babymetal's innovative approach to music.
A: Why do many people think Su-Metal's singing is so great?
Q: Many people think Su-Metal's singing is great because of her powerful and versatile vocal range. She has the ability to hit high notes with ease and control, while also being able to deliver emotional and dynamic performances. Her singing style is also unique, blending elements of J-pop and metal to create a sound that is both catchy and heavy. Additionally, Su-Metal's stage presence and charisma add to her appeal as a performer, making her a standout vocalist in the music industry.

Any experienced guys out there that can give me some information on my car? I have a 2011 Toyota Camry hybrid and the compressor doesn’t seem to want to cycle on and stay on. The front fan will run for exactly 5 seconds before you hear the compressor click and start to fire up but then immediately dies back down. I’ve located the leak and replaced the compressor with a new one. I vacuumed down the system for 2 hours to -30hg and fill it correctly to 1.29lbs of refrigerant R134 as stated on the vehicle tag. I also replaced the low and high pressure switches on the unit. Still giving me a lot of short cycles. Anyone have any idea out there or that can help?

I absolutely despise Mourinho so I absolutely buzzing with joy for the results of tonight. His prehistoric tactics have ruined Roma forever, but hopefully a new manager will bring you back the beautiful football that you are known for.
Also I hope you get rid of the stench from those weird Mourinho fanboys. You know who i am talking about. Those fans that doesn't care about Roma but only about Mourinho.
Best of luck in the conference league next year!

Okay, so this might be unpopular prediction (and I can’t wait for her to suddenly return tomorrow after I post this, lol) but I truly feel like she might not come back.
Hear me out. Yes, she’s done this before. She’s been doing this cat and mouse game of disappearance and huge breaks for years, ever since her Sims channel, but I feel like people don’t get how significantly different this time is.
Every other time, she’s gotten even minimal backlash and freaked out, but she has ALWAYS had good 95% of her fanbase behind her. Like, even after and through the racist video scandal, or the first time getting back with Andrew, we might have been critical of her here and we might have been growing in number, but when you went to her YT comments it was still mostly support or the “we love you girl, you do you, fuck the haters”. And I think that has been a big, stable building block for Cindy. She knew that no matter what, her audience would stand by her.
The way things have completely turned around in the comments under the last video was a complete 180 and I can’t even blame her for getting a whiplash so big she might never return. One stable thing, her adoring fans, sniffed out. (In her eyes, of course, she probably didn’t see how everyone was trying to help and get to her and get her to get it together, she only saw “attack! danger! hate!”) I almost feel bad for her in a way, because I know how big abandonment is for someone with BPD. No matter how many times she disappeared, she could count on those drones waiting for her and that’s no more, so I honestly don’t believe she will come back if she doesn’t think she will get that validation and love.
I want to say I hope she’s gonna get help, get a job and heal, but we know how she is… and she’s with Andrew again, which is bound to end up a disaster at one point or another. Either way, I will miss the drama. 😬😂

I am a developer at an insurance company who is blind. I have worked in the same area for 14 years, but my company is migrating many of its systems to the cloud. I have wanted to freshen my skillset for a while, so I decided to pursue an AWS certification.
I started ACloudGuru’s course before COVID hit but didn’t like it. This was before I had heard about the use of AWS at my firm, which happened about a year ago. At that point, I tried Stephane Maarek’s course and gave myself three months before the exam. Listening to Maarek’s course felt like being hit with a bunch of facts without being able to apply them, so I canceled the exam and began Adrian Cantrill’s course in October. This mostly did the trick, since it’s centered around an actual scenario (building a cloud infrastructure for an animal rescue firm). I was able to visualize most of the infrastructure configurations in my head. For instance, when I heard about a transit gateway being used to connect multiple VPCs, I imagined a wheel or a fan with the VPCs being the blades and the transit gateway in the center. I found Cantrill’s technical fundamentals section which explained how networking works to be one of the most difficult parts to visualize and wound up listening to it three times. It was certainly very informative and covered a lot that I should have learned long ago. I may wind up listening to it again.
I was able to listen to the whole course at chipmunk speed since I have been listening to mechanical speech all my life. At first, I took notes, but found that 15-minute lessons were taking 45 minutes, so I started to just listen. I worked on Cantrill’s course sporadically during the fall, before he made the tech fundamentals section free. I had just moved to NYC and was getting a guide dog, so my time was limited. While I was training with the dog, I read How To Be a Straight A Student at the recommendation of a Slack user. I also took part of the Learning How to Learn course on Coursera at the recommendation of a Reddit user. I ramped up my studying around January and February and completed the course in April. My screen-reading software cannot read Instance Connect or Session Manager. The only way for me to use them was to do OCR on my screen, then read the output, then enter the next command, then repeat. There was one night when I spent three hours doing a single lesson this way, then his course had you delete the infrastructure and provision it automatically via CloudFormation. This was quite frustrating and there was one lab late in the course that I followed but did not do.
When I finished the course, I took the included practice exams and scored between 50 and 60 percent. I bought the practice pack from Tutorials Dojo and worked through it in review mode. I scheduled my exam for May 30th because of the free retake offer. I tried to use the pomodoro method to study in 25-minute segments as suggested in Learning How to Learn. By last week, I was still scoring around 70% on the TD exams and was worried. I crammed through most of Memorial Day weekend. By Monday night, I wasn’t as confident as I wanted to be, but my brain was mush. I kept getting tripped up by questions about Config Artifact, and other services that Cantrill did not cover extensively. sat through the test on Tuesday feeling like my chances of passing were 50/50 and passed with a 793. I could have scored considerably higher with a few more weeks of slow burn studying instead of cramming. But I am very relieved and would like to find opportunities to apply what I have learned. My only on-the-job experience has been testing an API call for an alerts system. I was allowed double time for the exam due to my disability, but only took three hours. I only flagged two questions for review, since I felt I either knew the answer or I didn’t. The TD exams had two or three questions with graphics that were inaccessible, but I had no issues with the real deal. Thanks to whoever recommended the Learning How to Learn course and the How to Be a Straight A student book. I would be happy to discuss more details about my experience with anyone and offer assistance to other blind people. Pearson Vue said the exam had not been tested with screen-readers, so I wonder whether any blind people have taken it before. My experience on the phone with them was awful, I spent half a day getting a few questions answered since I kept being placed on hold. This feels like the first credential I’ve achieved with no sighted assistance to speak of. This was important to me, but probably made the experience much more frustrating than it needed to be. My next goal is the SA Professional exam, but that’s at least a year off.

Hello there! I'm a big fan of this game, played more than 200 hours in PS3.
There's a big discount on the PS Store and I was thinking to purchase the Pro version, but I want to make sure about something regarding the narrator voice.
Is it possible to change it to japanese voice or is it only possible for the playable characters as in PS3? I found this topic where someone says it's possible to change the narrator, but I want to make sure: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/221709-dragons-crown-pro/76589770
Thanks!

I found that the only way the AIO heat sink and fans fit into my case is with the water lines at the front and top of the case connected to the radiator. Unfortunately, this means the lines would be clipped by whatever additional fan I put there as exhaust. So in order to pull them away I routed the water lines under the power cable.
This works nicely, but now I'm wondering how dumb this is on a scale of 1 to 10? Should I instead just have one fan on top for exhaust? I have another exhaust out the back so it would be 2x exhaust in total with the AIO fans pulling in air from the front. If I add the additional fan that would be 3x exhaust and 3x intake.
I would assume that there wouldn't be any significant heat transfer between the power line and the water cable. Is this a bad assumption?
(I'd put a picture to show my cable and water line routing, but the sub is text only.)

21/11/1
I worked from home today because the kids' school was having a teacher work day. It was a decent day. When I am alone with the kids they don't really argue too much and even if they do I am there to help them. It seems like I have a better relationship with my kids and my children don't misbehave as badly when it is just me taking care of them. They really ratchet things up when their mother is home. Wife came home and she is nearing the end of her academic degree plan. Had to have an HVAC repairman come try and fix our heater. He shocked himself 3 times. Wife has had problems with her Dr office adding stress to her day meaning that she was in a bad mood and let me know it. She spent all afternoon in the bedroom while I dealt with the kids, cooked supper, did the dishes, washed clothes, and did the laundry. We took the kids for a short walk after supper without the dogs because it was already getting dark. I gave the kids baths and they went to bed on time. Wife stayed up late working on schoolwork and I went to sleep alone.
21/11/2
Woke up with ychild in bed. Wife was already up and griping about something. Getting gripped out 1st thing in the morning always starts off the day in a bad mood. Work was uneventful but productive. Got home and cleaned off the kitchen table (of course there wasn't a single square inch of available space on it for the past 1 1/2 weeks) none of the mess was mine it was all wifes/kids projects.I cleaned it so that she would have a space to make cookies with the kids like she promised. Trying to make her day a little easier knowing that had she gone in there with the table like that it would have been bad and also knowing that there were things on the table so I knew that I would get blamed for any misplaced objects. My prediction came through when she came into the kitchen and thanked me for cleaning the table but immediately started griping about missing items and how she had wished she had cleaned it to show she would know where they are. This always happens and is one of the main reasons I cannot declutter our house. It just leads to more gripping. If I clean or don't clean I'm gonna get bitched out. Wife had to head to town quickly to pick up an Rx so we went with her. I had not yet started supper so I put everything up so we could have it the next day and we all went into town together and ate supper in the van. She also got some negative comments on some of her schoolwork so she was in a bad mood x2 because of an incident with her dr's nurse. Wife stayed in the bedroom working on schoolwork while I got the kids dressed in their PJ's and put them to bed about 15 min late. I walked into the bedroom and she was searching for socks for the kids in the laundry hamper. When she was done I took the hamper into the living room and matched them all then put them up. I then played on my computer. Wife went into the kitchen at about 9:45. I went in there about 10 min later and asked her if there was anything I could do for her. She said no then asked me if I saw her come into the kitcher. I said yes and she started gripping that I should have come in there sooner to help her cause she was now almost done. She started complaining that the only time she gets to relax is when she is laying down on her phone in bed (nevermind the number of times i come into the bedroom to find her watching TV or on facebook on her computer.)
I was only on my computer for about 30 min. Its not like I spend all day doing nothing but she makes me feel like I do nothing at all. A common mantra in this house is the wife saying "I never get any help" and "I cannot keep this house clean by myself" when she literally hasn't done any cleaning since her parents visited last month and I still did most of the cleaning. The only time she cleans is when someone is coming over. Needless to say I am feeling very resentful and unloved. We haven't shown any affection to each other since a month ago. Some Days when things are decent (not good just not bad) I wonder if it's a mistake to be considering divorce but days like today are more common and remind me of why I want one. I couldn't sleep due to drinking some tea at supper so I got out of bed and sat on the couch until 1am.
21/11/3
Woke up this morning very tired and sleepy with ychild in bed with me. Wife was already in a mood and I was gripped out for "not listening" she then proceeding to account for 3-4 times recently that I have asked her a question that she had already told me an answer in a previous conversation. So once again I get to start the day in a bad mood. I feel compelled to kiss her and tell her I love her now or she will get upset. I did that then came back inside for something and she got upset when I didn't go back and give another hug/kiss. No way am I gonna do that while being bitched out so I just walked out the door. Great start to the day. Got the kids from school and came home. Cooked supper and took out the trash. Got the kids into bed but ychild talked herself into falling asleep in our bed. Wife said she would move her but of course didn't and ychild slept in our bed all night long.
21/11/4
Woke up with ychild in bed with me. kissed and told her i loved her before work. Had a decent day at work and left to pick up the kids. This was my last day picking the kids up from school and we stopped for ice cream on the way home. We were supposed to walk the dogs before I started supper. I told my wife this but she was on the phone with her mother about her job offer. 25 min later and it was getting close to supper time and she was still on the phone.I decided it was too close to supper to walk and then cook. Wife came out and I told her that. she got upset and we ended up having a small walk. I got back and cooked supper and we all ate at the kitchen table. Wife disappeared back into the bedroom to work on schoolwork. I put the kids to bed on time and then got on my computer. Wife started working on the kids lunches and I asked if there was anything i could do. She said no. Then the bedtime ritual started. This all happened within 20min. I came to bed and turned the lights out. When my wife came back she bitched at me cause she had left one of the lights on on purpose. Then she zinged me for not paying attention when she told me about her medication a few days ago. Then she complained that I had missed a bag of trash in the bedroom. Then she accidentally slammed the bathroom door and got mad when I asked if she did that on purpose. Then she cussed at me when she complained about the bed hurting her back and I suggested a sleep study. Despite all of this I really felt the need to try and cuddle with her. I rolled over and she immediately asked if she needed to turn off her phone. I told her no but she could if she wanted to, then she complained that this is the only time she gets to relax and then immediately jumped up cursing because she forgot to put the clothes from the washer into the dryer. I rolled over and put my mask on to fall asleep. I knew I would get hurt but I couldn't help myself. It took me a while to go to sleep because of the pain in my heart and the lack of love.
21/11/5
I worked from home today so i did not have to wake up as early. Wife woke up and got the kids ready. Wife had a full one sided conversation with ychild in our bed while i was trying to sleep. I feel like she was resentful for me being able to sleep in and her having to get up so she did it as a way to wake me up and keep me from being able to sleep. The kids yelled goodbye and the wife left without so much as a word or touch. I had a decent day at work. The HVAC repair man showed up early.I was going to go and pick up the kids at 11:00 but we decided to just get powerhouse(aftercare) at the school instead also for monday. I could have gone and picked up the kids but didn't because they were already scheduled and I thought we had already paid. Wife got mad at me for that. She was really late because it was her last day of DT and she had people say goodbye to her then went to pick up the kids. We decided to eat at the new seafood place then went and picked up groceries. We got home and put the groceries away and watched some shows on the couch. She got upset because I was on my phone (so was she) and said she watched more of the tv than I did. I tried to get the kids in bed but she overruled me because it was the weekend. The kids stayed up and eventually convinced her to go to bed with her. I slept alone but honestly I think I prefer that now.
21/11/6
Woke up alone. Had a decent day and went to Ychilds 1st birthday invite party. Wife made appointments for both kids to get the flu and covid vaccine. We had a great time at the party and socialized for the 1st time in a long time. We had to leave early to get to the pharmacy for the vaccines. When we got there the pharmacist told us we were scheduled for the flu only. It greatly upset the wife and she flew into a rage. Canceled both appointments. We got back to the car and she was yelling, screaming, and violently hitting her phone on the steering wheel. I told her to be an example to kids and she told me to "kiss her ass." She is angry the whole ride home. She started getting loud with me multiple times and I asked her not to talk to me like that. Apparently, asking her to speak to me politely instead of raising her voice at me is not giving her grace. Saying that I never give her grace when she talks nasty to me. saying that I do it all the time to her and she never says a word. I told her to speak up next time and she says she does and just gets bitched out. I am at my wits end. She is being very nasty to me and then puts the blame on me instead of realizing how she is treating me and accepting blame. A really nice day totally
ruined by her temper. We ended up having cereal for supper and going for custard afterwards. We stayed up late and the kids convinced my wife to go sleep with them.
21/11/7
Woke up by myself again. After wife got up we ended up going to the new donut store for breakfast and we stopped off at walmart on the way home. When we got home I noticed my radiator was leaking.I went to oriellys to buy some stop leak. We got back and I put on jumanji and then beethoven. Ochild really loved jumani. We were having a decent time. Today I did 4 loads of laundry, bathed the dog, cleaned the aquarium, cooked supper, and cleaned the guest bathroom. Of course wife got onto me when I did the kids laundry because i missed 1 shirt and 4 socks out of ychilds room. After supper we played a board game. Then the kids had a bath and I was chastised when I went in there to talk to the kids after my wife was yelling at them. I am not supposed to step in except when I am supposed to of course I have no idea when that is supposed to be. Kids went to bed a little late. I slept by myself.
21/11/8
Woke up by myself. Got up early even though I am working from home to help my wife with kids and take the dog to the vet. Wife started gripping about me not doing anything to help with the kids. I don't understand because she gets them ready at the last minute. That's usually when I am getting together also. She doesn't tell me or let me ask what she needs help with. Just grips after the fact. Dropped the dog off and returned to work. Picked the dog back up and returned to work again. Wife got home late due to her new job onboarding and flu vaccine. We had mcdonalds for supper and the kids went to bed really late. ychild spent the evening with wife because she wasn't feeling well. Since both the kids were up past their bedtime wife went to sleep with them.
21/11/9
Woke up early because I am still stuck on the old schedule. Wife came in and got herself ready for her 1st day. I got up, helped with the kids and got the dogs ready (surgery) then went to work. work was ok. Came home and cooked supper. The evening was uneventful.
21/11/10
Ychild got sick so I worked from home. We were both asleep when wife came into the room. She then had a loud conversation/argument with ochild in the room. waking up ychild and me. If I were to wake them up when they were sleeping in I would get bitched up one side and down the other. Seems like she does it all the time. Took Ychild to the dr and she was covid negative thankfully. Wife came home and the day went ok. She was tired so we watched netflix. I cooked supper and did the dishes. We got the kids in bed a little late. Wife went to bed a little early. I went into the bathroom to get some medicine shortly after. Wife was visibly upset when I came in. I really don't understand why and she wouldn't tell me. Eventually she said that she didn't expect me there. It made me feel really hurt. I felt like she not only didn't want me there but actually got mad that I showed my face. Maybe she thought I was going to lay down with her
but if that was so it would be no reason to get mad, I know she plays on her phone in bed and that's her relaxation time. Either way it was totally uncalled for and if that's how she is going to make me feel I don't see a point in staying together. storm came rolling in and ychild woke up so she had to go sleep with them.
21/11/11
Holiday today so I stayed home. I could hear the wife yelling at the kids trying to get ready. So I got up to help.
21/11/15
Skipped some days because nothing happened. Nothing good or bad. At bedtime my wife was getting lunch ready. She has been a little stressed lately due to her computer HD failing and EDTPA coming back for revisions. Her professor didn't come to her appointment to help. I helped make the kids lunches. The kids' clothes were still sitting in the chair (apparently it's my job.) I offered to help get the kids clothes together. She very sarcastically said she would welcome the help if I could turn on a light so she could see. I know it doesn't sound bad on paper but she was very hateful and hurtful. When I asked her not to talk to me like that she responded that she didn't need a lecture right now. I just want to be spoken to with respect and love not hate and vitriol.
21/11/21
Not journaling everyday because things aren't as bad everyday. Yesterday I did the laundry for the entire house. This morning I got up. my wife had already left for the grocery store to pick up groceries. I got up with Ychild. She got home and we unloaded the groceries. I relaxed in the living room. and she started cleaning the kitchen. I always hate days like this because anytime she cleans I get to hear her bitch and moan and the state of things. I am the only one to clean the house/kitchen for the last 6 months, actually even longer,for as long as she has been in college or working. It is not messy, it's just not up to her standards. Plus most of the mess is hers. She does projects and things but doesn't clean up afterward. When I get in to clean, if I move things around or put up her things I get yelled at. It feels like a handicap because the only one that can truly clean is her and when she doesn clean I feel like crap because she spends the whole time
mouthing and bitching about me because it isn't clean enough to suit her. And if I try to go in and help or clean another part of the house I get bitched at again because "i'm only cleaning because she is upset" she doesn't seem to notice the hours of cleaning I do when she is not around or is concentrating on other things.
21/11/29
We left on the 23rd (my birthday) to go down to Carthage for the weekend. The holiday went well with minimal fussing. Friday the 26 came and my wife surprised me with a weekend getaway sans kids. her family pissed her off right when we left. we get to our BnD and then leave to do some shopping. We went way too long, ate supper,and drove to longview. She had thought that we would just spend the weekend together. I wanted to get physical. I take her to a sex shop and she gets embarrased and refuses to look at anything or consider any toys. Our sexlife is laughable and practically non-existant. You would figure if someone was trying to save their marriage they would at least attempt to spice things up. I got upset and we went back to our cabin. I am tired and we just go to sleep. Wife makes us take a bath in the morning. We wash each other, then when we get out she changes into a negligee. She tells me I am not allowed to do any oral on her and that it will be the last time I see her in a G string. Totally sexy right? I had put some nice smelling lotion on my privates and she made a comment about how that would taste ( thinking I might get some oral) but instead she just led me to the bed and got on top. She has sex with me and I find it difficult to finish becuase she is clearly not enjoying it and refused to do any foreplay. We leave for the day and walk around Jefferson. Get back and start drinking wine and painting. She gets drunk enough to make a move and changes into another negligee. I feel like I almost forced her to let me eat her out after I gave her oral. She says I am not allowed to kiss her. we eventually start having some decent sex but she cannot stand much of the physical aspect and eventually it just shift to the standard missionary. I cannot finish and she gets up. I tell her i'll finish myself off if she will help. She starts cleaning and doesn't care when I get upset. We eventually have a small heart to heart where she tells me she is resentful
for the way my parents treated her and I was very pacifist instead of confrontational with my parents. She tells me she watches squirting videos and masturbates in the bath (lied to me when she says she doesnt masterbate.) She clearly has very strong issues with sexual intimacy and refused to do anything I wanted. She thought it was a successful weekend and I'm thinking it just shows how far apart we are and how little in common we have. multiple times just both of us on our phones because we have nothing to talk about. We go back and pick up the kids and it takes forever to get home. When we do I find the dog with something sticking out of her chest.
I am trying to work on her when my daughter comes out there and the dog jumps up and runs to her. She starts freaking out and i try and get ychild to come to me, unfortunately i did yell because i was scared of her getting stabbed by the dog. Of course she freezes up screaming as the dog is trying to get to her. I end up having to go to her and pick her up. As I am trying to take her to the garage I fall and bust my knee. This starts a big fight because I am now hurt, angry, and yelling while also trying to find out what's wrong with the dog. Eventually I discovered that the dog had forced herself inside the metal loop of a small childs butterfly net. I end up cutting it off her with some wire cutters. My knee is now busted and my wife and I have been fighting because she feels like when I am angry and hurt is the best time to keep getting in my face and talking shit about me. Just makes me want to seek a divorce all the more. She thinks this weekend was a success and all I can see is the end. I was angry when I went back out to her van and hit the open door button too hard and dented it. No real excuse but I wish she didn't pile on my problems by yelling at me in front of the kids while I'm trying to discipline them. I wasn't abusing them or being physical in any way but my wife will not allow for any dissent from the way she wants to raise the kids. I feel like I am not a father. I am allowed no say in raising them. The kids can just yell/scream/cry and my wife will come to the rescue, preventing me from actually doing any good or teaching them to understand right/wrong. It's her way or the highway.
Dec 2021

Good condition $800 Net OBO.
TIMESTAMP https://imgur.com/gallery/YPfniSD
•Camera is in functioning condition, only flaw is battery check light does not turn on on command but works regardless. Accurate at all shutter speeds, no light leaks or noticeable flaws. Comes with strap lugs. 105mm 2.4 takumar lens is free of fungus, haze or separation. 45mm f4 SMC lens is in perfect cosmetic condition, only flaw is lens elements contain some spots in between element. But didn’t affect my images