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2013.11.14 04:55 16semesters For Those Visiting Las Vegas
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2023.06.01 01:20 MooMooOut Saw ‘The Carpenters Story’ Today! Here are my thoughts:
 | Saw ’The Carpenters Story’ live in Liverpool this evening and it was brilliant! As hinted at by the name (Carpenters Story) the show does cover some of the duos story through on screen archival footage and narration which I believe worked well! The band were terrific musicians. The saxophonist blew me away, I remember just saying ‘wow’ out loud when it came to the sax parts on both ‘A Song For You’ and ‘Rainy Days And Mondays’. The drum parts really stood out to me, they sounded so full and impactful (Karen would’ve been proud). The electric guitar on ‘Goodbye To Love’ was a highlight and the piano playing was top notch. This is a polished act! Singer Claire Furley did a great job. While not having that same distinctive husky tone which Karen had each number was sang well. submitted by MooMooOut to carpenters [link] [comments] I thought the medley nearing the end of the show was very creative and fitting since the Carpenters always loved a good medley. The medley included songs such as Superstar, All You Get From Love Is A Love Song, I Won’t Last A Day Without You, I Can’t Smile Without You, Yesterday Once More, etc. I’m a musician and performer myself and thought the songs flowed well into one another. The setlist was very well constructed and kept me engaged the whole way through. I heard someone behind me say at the end ‘I loved every minute of it’. I would argue the best numbers performed were the non-ballads such as Jambalaya, Top Of The World, Sweet Sweet Smile (wasn’t expecting this one and was so pleased) and A Kind Of Hush (loved the way The Carpenters story opened this track, very creative!). The non-ballads worked best (in my opinion) because the audience could be more involved, clapping and singing along. Audience participation is not as easy to achieve on ballads such such as ‘Ticket To Ride’. Nevertheless, the ballads were still performed to a high level. This show is also an emotional roller coaster, you’ve got the highs of Jambalaya and A Kind Of Hush. But part of the Carpenters Story features archival footage on screen from a news report addressing the death of Karen Carpenter. This is followed by the song ‘Now’ (Karen’s last vocal recording) which is incredibly emotional. The performance is accompanied by images of a frail Karen. Very sad. I and other people on my row were nearly in tears. In terms of the imagery used, a lot of it was great with ‘The Carpenters Story’ logo and Karen and Richard on each side however some of it could’ve been better, mainly during songs. With ‘Sing’ there was footage of The Muppets which was cute but somewhat random. I understand that Karen liked Disney and The Muppets (as explained by the band) but it just seemed a little too much having The Muppets on screen for the whole song. Stock footage was used with songs including ‘Rainy Days And Mondays’ and ‘Top Of The World’. With footage of rain and the sky for ‘Top Of The World’ which seemed a little cheap. Images of the Carpenters could’ve instead been shown on screen or videos of the duo performing the song (although video footage of the duo may be a bit distracting). I’m an editor myself so I would be happy to help with the imagery for specific songs to help it appear more professional. The stripped down version of ‘I Need To Be In Love’ was fine but I think that song needs the drums as well to really work especially leading into the chorus as it’s meant to be an impactful and emotive ballad. I’m sure there’s other carpenters songs which would better suit being stripped down (End Of The World yet that might be a bit too obscure). Anogher nitpick I have is while the band were successful at including the audience with songs such as ‘Sing’ on the ‘La la La La La’ parts. At times I think the audience felt somewhat left out. There could’ve been more ‘come on sing a long’ or times when singer Claire Furley could’ve indicated for the audience to sing a line or two. This was done a few times but arguably not enough. The audience needed more instructions or cues such as with the hand claps (which worked well). Nevertheless this critique is not solely applicable to this show, making an audience feel included is a hard skill to master. Even the Carpenters struggled with that in the 70s. Conclusion: Overall, ‘The Carpenters Story’ is well worth watching. I was unsure if to go at first as my friends weren’t interested in going with me because they aren’t too familiar with the Carpenters despite me talking about the duo almost all the time. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed myself (despite going alone) and couldn’t help but walk away from the show with a ‘sweet sweet smile’ on my face 🤣. The musicianship is essentially perfect and I appreciate the creativity. However, audience participation and some of the imagery on screen could be improved. I give ‘The Carpenters Story’ an 8/10 😊 Were any of you Carpenters fans there? (Empire Theatre, Liverpool, 31st May 2023) Btw, I only have this footage because we couldn’t film during the show. |
2023.06.01 01:17 daveg222 Adults only infinity pool at sheraton waikiki
Curious, if anybody knows anything about the adults only pool at the Sheraton Waikiki. There is an adults only infinity pool. I had seen a YouTube video one time and I thought they had said that anybody could use the pool meaning, non-hotel guess does anybody know if this is true? I had originally scheduled a reservation for there because of this pool but then switched to the Hilton Hawaiian Village because I wanted a fridge in the room, but now I am second-guessing it because everyone is saying it is full of kids and I really want my adults only infinity pool. Does anybody know if non-hotel guests can use the pool if they go and buy drinks or food?
submitted by daveg222 to VisitingHawaii [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 01:01 stlatos PIE and Armenian K
IE changes to velars (K) often seem irregular, and since these include k > x & *h > k, it is likely that PIE h1 = x^, h2 = x, h3 = xW.
G. kúmbos ‘vessel/goblet’, Skt. kumbhá-s ‘japitchewater japot’, Av. xumba-
*xamanto-s > R. xomút ‘horse’s harness’, Li. kãmanos ‘leather bridle’
*k^alh- > L. calēre ‘be warm’, Lt. silt ‘grow warm’, salts, Li. šáltas ‘cold’, R. xolod ‘cold’
? > *xalpikiko-s > Slavic *xolpĭčĭkŭ ‘boy / young servant’, TB kālpśke ‘youth / boy’
*kaudh-? > OP xauda- ‘cap’, Av. xaōda- ‘helmet’
Skt. kardama- ‘mud’, NP xard ‘muddy place’
Skt. kharjura- ‘silver’, Greek árguros ‘silver’
*h3ost- > G. ostéon ‘bone’, OCS kostĭ, L. costa ‘rib’
*xWokW- >> L. oculus ‘eye’; *xWokW-ixto- >> Li. akytas ‘having eyes’, L. *xokwel-it- ‘having (one) eye’ > cocules ‘one-eyed’
*prdumxo- > Kh. purdùm ‘leopard’, Skt. prdakū-, prdākhu- ‘leopard/tigesnake’
*kxapros > OIc. hafr ‘male goat’, L. caper, *gGapro-s > OIr. gabor, *xałfros > Arm. k’ał ‘male goat’
*kenh- / *kanh- > Arm. kanxem ‘rise up/hurry/go first/arrive before’, OIr. cinim ‘spring / descend from’
*kap-ye- > L. capiō ‘seize/take’, G. káptō ‘gulp down’, Go. hafjan, OIc hefja ‘lift’
*gab- > Arm. kapem ‘bind’
*ghabh- > L. habeō
(compare kapem ‘bind’ to Latvian kampt ‘seize/grasp’)
Slavic *golumb- > R. goluboj ‘blue’, Baltic *golimb- > OPr. golimban ‘blue’, *gelumbiyā- > Li. gelumbė ‘blue kerchief/cloth’
Slavic *golumbi- ‘dove’
Sanskrit kalamba- / kaḍamba- / kadamba-, Greek kolumbís / kólumbos ‘diver (bird)’, Latin columba ‘dove, pigeon’
*š\salam(b)a\u > MArm. salam -u-, salamb -a- ‘(francolin?) partridge’
*kwap- ‘smoke / steam’ > Lithuanian kvãpas ‘breath / odor’, *xwap- > Latin vapor
*k^witro- > Lithuanian švitràs ‘glasspaper / sandpaper’, *xwitro- > Latin vitrum ‘glass’
? > *mxëlto > TA mkälto ‘young’, malto ‘in the first place’
? > *pesuxā- > TA puskāñ, TB passoñ ‘muscles’
? > *lewax^- > TA lu, pl. lwāk, TB luwo, pl. lwāsa ‘animal’
Skt. srákva- \ sṛkvaṇ- ‘corner of mouth’, TB *sǝrkwan- > *sǝrxwan- > särwāna (pl. tan.) ‘face’
Most of these are already recognized as cognates, some are distputed. For Skt. kharjura- ‘silver’, Greek árguros ‘silver’ from PIE *h2arg^uro-, see https://www.reddit.com/IndoEuropean/comments/13umn3s/greek_kh%C3%A1lub_hardened_iron_steel_khalk%C3%B3s/ . Armenian and Celtic sometimes changing *ka- > *ga- (and g > k in Arm.) would explain some data, but this is not regular. Many of these might come from clusters like *k^x-. The similar *zg is also optional around IE:
*mezg- > L. mergō, Skt. májjati ‘submerge/sink’, *mezgu- > L. mergus ‘gull’, Skt. madgú-
*zgWes- ‘quench/extinguish / put out a fire’ > *djas- > Skt. dásyati be exhausted / despair, jása- \ dása-, etc.
*azgWolxo-? > G. ásbolos / asbólē ‘soot’, *ask^ülxo- > Arm. acuł / acux ‘soot/coal’
*presgWu-? G. présbus ‘old man’, Cr. preigus, Arm. erēc` ‘elder’
Some say *pres-gWh2u-? ‘coming before / ancestor’ is needed to explain Armenian erēc`, but I think acuł shows the same (caused by g > g^ before u (indicating u > ü as in Greek)). This would mean h2 was unneeded, and even K > K^ by u in Arm. is not regular.
Just within Arm., the changes to K include k > k \ kh \ x \ *h > 0:
Arm. kayt ‘mark on marble’, xayt \ xayc ‘mark/spot’, Skt. keta-, ketú- ‘mark/sign’, TB kāy ‘mark’
OE sceolh ‘crooked’, G. skélos ‘leg’, skellós ‘crooked-legged’, Arm. šeł ‘slanting / crooked’, xeł ‘mutilated / lame’
Arm. sałim ‘be mistaken’, sxalim ‘be mistaken / stumble’, sxalak ‘drunken’, Skt. skhálati ‘stumble’,
G. skórodon / skórdon, Alb. hurdhë, Arm. xstor ‘garlic’
Arm. mxrčem ‘immerse/dip’, mkrtem ‘immerse/dip / bathe/baptize’
Skt. khād- ‘chew/bite/eat’, Arm. xacanem, kcanem ‘bite/sting’
Arm. ozni, MArm. xozni / kozni, G. ekhînos, Skt. jáhakā-, Brahui ǰaǰak, YAv. dužuka-, NP žūža ‘hedgehog’
(compare kh vs. *h > 0 in G. khḗr ‘hedgehog’, L. ēr )
Li. kárštas ‘hot’, Arm. xaršem ‘cook/burn’, Skt. kuṣāku- ‘burning’, *kurzd- > kūḍayāti, kuṇḍate ‘burn’
*skandlo- > L. pl. scālae ‘ladder / flight of steps’, *sxandułxo- > Arm. pl. sanduł-k` / sandux-k` ‘laddestairs’
G. khaláō ‘loosen/slacken’, Skt. khallate, Arm. xał ‘game/pastime’ (from ‘free / loose’ (compare L. laxus ))
Arm. ktł- ‘burning desire’, xtił ‘tickling/lust’
Skt. kartati ‘cut/slice’, Arm. ktrem ‘cut’, kotor \ ktor \ ktur-k’ ‘cut/share’, ktir-k’ ‘dowry’, hatu-ktir\kčir
*tetk^-? > t’ek’em ‘shape, bend, twist, weave’, t’akart’ ‘trap, snare, net’
*h2aukWtro-? > *akurt > MArm. akut’ ‘cookstove’, Van dia. angurt’ ‘portable clay oven’, *aukslo- > L. aulla ‘pot’
G. knḗthō ‘scratch/itch’, Arm. xaz ‘line (in hand) / scratch’
If x, kh, and k were regular and separate, why would so many words show both? This is not limited to PIE *k(h), even PIE h > h \ 0 \ x has no set order:
*h3od- ‘smell, stink, hate’ > L. oleō, odor, odī ‘I hate’, Arm. hot
*h3owi- > L. ovis ‘sheep’, Arm. hovi-, *+pah2- > hoviw ‘shepherd’
*h2awi- > L. avis, Arm. haw ‘bird / roostehen’, Moks xav
*h2awo- > L. avus ‘grandfather’, Arm. haw
*h2ak^o-sth2o- > G. akostḗ ‘barley’, Skt. apāṣṭhá- ‘barb of an arrow’, Arm. hawasti-k` ‘tassels of a belt’
*h2ak^-st(h2t)i- > Li. akstìs \ akštìs ‘kind of skewer’, Arm. hask -i- ‘ear of grain’, Van xašk
*h2ag^- > G. ágō ‘lead’, Arm. acem ‘bring/lead’
*h2arh2mon- > Li. armuõ ‘arable land’, Arm. haravun-k’ ‘arable land / plow-land’, K’łi harmunk' ‘plowable soil softened by spring rains’
*h1nek^-n- > Arm. hasanem ‘arrive at / reach / catch/take/get/gain’, Skt. naś-, L. nanciscor ‘get/reach/obtain’
? > Arm. xełd- \ hełj- ‘drown/suffocate/strangle’, hełjamłjuk ‘drowned/suffocated’, młjuk- ‘strangle’
*h3oid- > G. oîdos ‘swelling’, Oidí-pous, Arm. ayt -i- ‘cheek’, aytumn ‘swelling’, *xoyt’ > Łarabał xüt' ‘*swelling/*mound’ > ‘hillock’
This works best if h2 = x and most x > h, some retained. Dialects with x- for older h- are more conservative, not innovative. The intermediate s > š > x fit Pamir data for Iranian (sk > šk, other s > x) and sw- > *xw- > kh- in both. Slavic also shows some s > x with no apparent cause. This also matches s > *x > x \ h \ 0, p > *xW > x \ h \ 0, completely bereft of regularity:
*pewyo- > ogi \ hogi ‘soul/spirit’; *pew-ah2- > hewam ‘breathe heavily’
Skt. pṛthuka- ‘child / young of animal’, G. pórtax \ pórtis (f) ‘calf’, Arm. ort’ -u- ‘calf/fawn’, xort’ -o- ‘stepson/adulterine’, Muš. xort’ ‘young (man)’
Arm. ort’ ‘grapevine’, G. pórthos ‘shoot’
*samhǝdho- > E. sand, G. ámathos, Arm. awaz, L. sabulum
*kWyeh1-sk^e\o- > L. quiēscō ‘rest’, *sm- > Arm. hangč’im ‘rest’, Muš hang‘ ‘rest/breath’, Moks xangY
? > Arm. boyl -i- ‘group (of people/deeetc)’, hoyl -i- ‘group of animals/people’, xoyl -i- ‘swelling/tumogland’, bołǰ ‘swelling/tumowound’
Since *h at the start can remain as x, x within words shoud have the same explanation. This includes kanxem above (both k and x odd), and many in https://www.reddit.com/etymology/comments/w04cuz/importance_of_armenian_retention_of_h123/
For PIE *w, a stage with w > GW (G = voiced velar fricative) makes sense (see Hrach Martirosyan). This also shows w > g / kh / x / v / 0 with no cause; it is likely that there was optional *G / *x then optional *x > kh. This is seen by supposed original *gWh = *GW > *x > kh in the other direction. This *x is retained in many examples, often with alternation:
*widk^mt- > *GWic^amt- > *xis^anD- > k’san ’20’
*gWhen- > G. eu-thenḗs ‘in abundance / wealth’, Arm. yo-gn / yo-k’’n ‘numerous/abundant’
*wergY- > TA wärk-, TB wark- ‘shear’, Arm. gercem ‘shave / make bald’, k’ercem ‘shave / peel / strip off’
*Gony- > xonǰim ‘be tired/exhausted’, *yoGn- > yognim / yok’nim ‘be(come) tired/exhausted/discouraged’
*proh3-gWhen- ‘very abundant/large/great’ > G. parthénos ‘virgin’, Arm. aṙa-k’ini ‘valiant/courageous/virtuous/honest’
*GorGuD / *xoruxD > xoroxt / xroxt ‘haughty/proud’, goṙoz ‘proud/arrogant’, goṙ ‘shout/fierce/bold/haughty/warlike’
*wel > G. hélix ‘object with spiral shape’, Arm. xec’ ‘pot / shell (of mollusks)’, xec’ \ hec’ ‘felloe’
*widhw- ‘(arms) apart / tree’ > *GüDG- > *gu(r)g- / *gi(r)k(h)- > Arm. girk-k’ ‘tree’, girk ‘arms/lap/bosom’, gog ‘lap/bosom’, *gurg ‘embrace’, girg ‘tendedelicate/soft’, ołǰ-a-gurem ‘greet / embrace’, gurgurel ‘cuddle/caress’
and even Iran. loans seem to show a stage with GW and optional GW > v or GW > gh:
*g^hew- > jagar ‘funnel’, *javar >> Gr. jabri
*g^wah2lo-, *dz^walanō > Skt. jválana-s ‘fire’, Balochi jal ‘hot ashes / charcoal’, ? >> *azgal > Arm. gazał \ gazax ‘ashes/embers’
Arm. is also known for having odd changes to *r like Arm. kēt ‘biting fly’, kret ‘wasp’; *akurt > MArm. akut’, Van dia. angurt’ (above) among many others https://www.reddit.com/etymology/comments/zkgi2m/latin_pr%C4%93x_request_armenian_a%C5%82ersank_a%C5%82a%C4%8Dank/ . The simplest reason for some r > 0 is a uvular pronunciation R, common in many languages. If R became a fricative, as in French, it might merge with PIE h1, h2, h3 and disappear. The Dardic languages might show traces of this R, with r > x \ h in Kh. (or indirectly, with Rt > xt > th): Skt. vṛtra- ‘stone’, *vart(r)a- > Rom. barr, Kh. boxt \ boht \ bohrt ‘rock/stone’, Ks. bath, Ti. baṭ(h) ‘large rock’, Dm. bāṭ , Dv. wāt'
If this *R is already needed for *r, including *k > *q to help make sense of IE optional treatments of K could work. PIE h1, h2, h3 and R sometimes disappeared; any uvular fricative to 0 would thus cover both. Pamir languages also show irregular K > Q, and their location relatively near Dardic, showing traces of the same, could explain that those on the fringes of IE territory shared this retention. This is not regular, yet orderly, fitting, and in step with common features seen around the world. It also allows many irregular changes to velar C’s to merge into one kind of optionality: K vs. Q. Even if this is not the exact cause, trying to understand broad changes by broad rules is better than coming up with an odd explanation for each oddity.
Alb Albanian
Arm Armenian
Aro Aromanian
Asm Assamese
Av Avestan
Bal Baluchi
Be Bengali
Bg Bulgarian
Bu Burushaski
E English
EArm Eastern Armenian
G Greek
Go Gothic
H Hittite
Hi Hindi
Is Ishkashimi
It Italian
K Kassite
Kd Kurdish
Kho Khotanese
Khw Khwarezmian
Ku Kusunda
L Latin
Li Lithuanian
Lt Latvian
M Mitanni
Mh Marathi
MArm Middle Armenian
MW Middle Welsh
NHG New High German
MHG Middle High German
OHG Old High German
OBg Old Bulgarian
OBr Old Breton
OIc Old Icelandic
OIr Old Irish
OE Old English
ON Old Norse
OPr Old Prussian
OP Old Persian
MP Middle Persian
NP (New) Persian (Farsi)
Nw Norwegian
Os Ossetian
Phr Phrygian
Ps Pashto
R Russian
Ru Romanian\Rumanian
Sar Sarikoli
Shu Shughni
Skt Sanskrit
Sog Sogdian
TA Tocharian A
TB Tocharian B
W Welsh
Wx Wakhi
Gy Gypsy
Dv Domari \ Do:mva:ri:
Lv Lomavren
Rom Romani
Dardic Group
A Atshareetaá \ (older Palola < *Paaloolaá)
B Bangani
Ba bHaṭé-sa zíb \ Bhaṭeri
D Degaanó \ Degano
Dk Domaaki \ Domaá \ D.umaki
Dm Dameli
Gi Gultari
Id Indus Kohistani
Ka Kalam Kohistani \ Kalami \ Gawri \ Bashkarik
Kati
Kh Khowàr
Km Kashmiri
Ks Kalasha
KS Kundal Shahi
Kt ktívi kâtá vari
Kv Kâmvíri
Pl Paaluulaá
Pr Prasun
Ni Nišei-alâ
Np Nepali
Sa Saňu-vīri
Sh Shina
Ti Torwali
Wg Waigali \ Kalas.a-alâ
submitted by stlatos to IndoEuropean [link] [comments]
G. kúmbos ‘vessel/goblet’, Skt. kumbhá-s ‘japitchewater japot’, Av. xumba-
*xamanto-s > R. xomút ‘horse’s harness’, Li. kãmanos ‘leather bridle’
*k^alh- > L. calēre ‘be warm’, Lt. silt ‘grow warm’, salts, Li. šáltas ‘cold’, R. xolod ‘cold’
? > *xalpikiko-s > Slavic *xolpĭčĭkŭ ‘boy / young servant’, TB kālpśke ‘youth / boy’
*kaudh-? > OP xauda- ‘cap’, Av. xaōda- ‘helmet’
Skt. kardama- ‘mud’, NP xard ‘muddy place’
Skt. kharjura- ‘silver’, Greek árguros ‘silver’
*h3ost- > G. ostéon ‘bone’, OCS kostĭ, L. costa ‘rib’
*xWokW- >> L. oculus ‘eye’; *xWokW-ixto- >> Li. akytas ‘having eyes’, L. *xokwel-it- ‘having (one) eye’ > cocules ‘one-eyed’
*prdumxo- > Kh. purdùm ‘leopard’, Skt. prdakū-, prdākhu- ‘leopard/tigesnake’
*kxapros > OIc. hafr ‘male goat’, L. caper, *gGapro-s > OIr. gabor, *xałfros > Arm. k’ał ‘male goat’
*kenh- / *kanh- > Arm. kanxem ‘rise up/hurry/go first/arrive before’, OIr. cinim ‘spring / descend from’
*kap-ye- > L. capiō ‘seize/take’, G. káptō ‘gulp down’, Go. hafjan, OIc hefja ‘lift’
*gab- > Arm. kapem ‘bind’
*ghabh- > L. habeō
(compare kapem ‘bind’ to Latvian kampt ‘seize/grasp’)
Slavic *golumb- > R. goluboj ‘blue’, Baltic *golimb- > OPr. golimban ‘blue’, *gelumbiyā- > Li. gelumbė ‘blue kerchief/cloth’
Slavic *golumbi- ‘dove’
Sanskrit kalamba- / kaḍamba- / kadamba-, Greek kolumbís / kólumbos ‘diver (bird)’, Latin columba ‘dove, pigeon’
*š\salam(b)a\u > MArm. salam -u-, salamb -a- ‘(francolin?) partridge’
*kwap- ‘smoke / steam’ > Lithuanian kvãpas ‘breath / odor’, *xwap- > Latin vapor
*k^witro- > Lithuanian švitràs ‘glasspaper / sandpaper’, *xwitro- > Latin vitrum ‘glass’
? > *mxëlto > TA mkälto ‘young’, malto ‘in the first place’
? > *pesuxā- > TA puskāñ, TB passoñ ‘muscles’
? > *lewax^- > TA lu, pl. lwāk, TB luwo, pl. lwāsa ‘animal’
Skt. srákva- \ sṛkvaṇ- ‘corner of mouth’, TB *sǝrkwan- > *sǝrxwan- > särwāna (pl. tan.) ‘face’
Most of these are already recognized as cognates, some are distputed. For Skt. kharjura- ‘silver’, Greek árguros ‘silver’ from PIE *h2arg^uro-, see https://www.reddit.com/IndoEuropean/comments/13umn3s/greek_kh%C3%A1lub_hardened_iron_steel_khalk%C3%B3s/ . Armenian and Celtic sometimes changing *ka- > *ga- (and g > k in Arm.) would explain some data, but this is not regular. Many of these might come from clusters like *k^x-. The similar *zg is also optional around IE:
*mezg- > L. mergō, Skt. májjati ‘submerge/sink’, *mezgu- > L. mergus ‘gull’, Skt. madgú-
*zgWes- ‘quench/extinguish / put out a fire’ > *djas- > Skt. dásyati be exhausted / despair, jása- \ dása-, etc.
*azgWolxo-? > G. ásbolos / asbólē ‘soot’, *ask^ülxo- > Arm. acuł / acux ‘soot/coal’
*presgWu-? G. présbus ‘old man’, Cr. preigus, Arm. erēc` ‘elder’
Some say *pres-gWh2u-? ‘coming before / ancestor’ is needed to explain Armenian erēc`, but I think acuł shows the same (caused by g > g^ before u (indicating u > ü as in Greek)). This would mean h2 was unneeded, and even K > K^ by u in Arm. is not regular.
Just within Arm., the changes to K include k > k \ kh \ x \ *h > 0:
Arm. kayt ‘mark on marble’, xayt \ xayc ‘mark/spot’, Skt. keta-, ketú- ‘mark/sign’, TB kāy ‘mark’
OE sceolh ‘crooked’, G. skélos ‘leg’, skellós ‘crooked-legged’, Arm. šeł ‘slanting / crooked’, xeł ‘mutilated / lame’
Arm. sałim ‘be mistaken’, sxalim ‘be mistaken / stumble’, sxalak ‘drunken’, Skt. skhálati ‘stumble’,
G. skórodon / skórdon, Alb. hurdhë, Arm. xstor ‘garlic’
Arm. mxrčem ‘immerse/dip’, mkrtem ‘immerse/dip / bathe/baptize’
Skt. khād- ‘chew/bite/eat’, Arm. xacanem, kcanem ‘bite/sting’
Arm. ozni, MArm. xozni / kozni, G. ekhînos, Skt. jáhakā-, Brahui ǰaǰak, YAv. dužuka-, NP žūža ‘hedgehog’
(compare kh vs. *h > 0 in G. khḗr ‘hedgehog’, L. ēr )
Li. kárštas ‘hot’, Arm. xaršem ‘cook/burn’, Skt. kuṣāku- ‘burning’, *kurzd- > kūḍayāti, kuṇḍate ‘burn’
*skandlo- > L. pl. scālae ‘ladder / flight of steps’, *sxandułxo- > Arm. pl. sanduł-k` / sandux-k` ‘laddestairs’
G. khaláō ‘loosen/slacken’, Skt. khallate, Arm. xał ‘game/pastime’ (from ‘free / loose’ (compare L. laxus ))
Arm. ktł- ‘burning desire’, xtił ‘tickling/lust’
Skt. kartati ‘cut/slice’, Arm. ktrem ‘cut’, kotor \ ktor \ ktur-k’ ‘cut/share’, ktir-k’ ‘dowry’, hatu-ktir\kčir
*tetk^-? > t’ek’em ‘shape, bend, twist, weave’, t’akart’ ‘trap, snare, net’
*h2aukWtro-? > *akurt > MArm. akut’ ‘cookstove’, Van dia. angurt’ ‘portable clay oven’, *aukslo- > L. aulla ‘pot’
G. knḗthō ‘scratch/itch’, Arm. xaz ‘line (in hand) / scratch’
If x, kh, and k were regular and separate, why would so many words show both? This is not limited to PIE *k(h), even PIE h > h \ 0 \ x has no set order:
*h3od- ‘smell, stink, hate’ > L. oleō, odor, odī ‘I hate’, Arm. hot
*h3owi- > L. ovis ‘sheep’, Arm. hovi-, *+pah2- > hoviw ‘shepherd’
*h2awi- > L. avis, Arm. haw ‘bird / roostehen’, Moks xav
*h2awo- > L. avus ‘grandfather’, Arm. haw
*h2ak^o-sth2o- > G. akostḗ ‘barley’, Skt. apāṣṭhá- ‘barb of an arrow’, Arm. hawasti-k` ‘tassels of a belt’
*h2ak^-st(h2t)i- > Li. akstìs \ akštìs ‘kind of skewer’, Arm. hask -i- ‘ear of grain’, Van xašk
*h2ag^- > G. ágō ‘lead’, Arm. acem ‘bring/lead’
*h2arh2mon- > Li. armuõ ‘arable land’, Arm. haravun-k’ ‘arable land / plow-land’, K’łi harmunk' ‘plowable soil softened by spring rains’
*h1nek^-n- > Arm. hasanem ‘arrive at / reach / catch/take/get/gain’, Skt. naś-, L. nanciscor ‘get/reach/obtain’
? > Arm. xełd- \ hełj- ‘drown/suffocate/strangle’, hełjamłjuk ‘drowned/suffocated’, młjuk- ‘strangle’
*h3oid- > G. oîdos ‘swelling’, Oidí-pous, Arm. ayt -i- ‘cheek’, aytumn ‘swelling’, *xoyt’ > Łarabał xüt' ‘*swelling/*mound’ > ‘hillock’
This works best if h2 = x and most x > h, some retained. Dialects with x- for older h- are more conservative, not innovative. The intermediate s > š > x fit Pamir data for Iranian (sk > šk, other s > x) and sw- > *xw- > kh- in both. Slavic also shows some s > x with no apparent cause. This also matches s > *x > x \ h \ 0, p > *xW > x \ h \ 0, completely bereft of regularity:
*pewyo- > ogi \ hogi ‘soul/spirit’; *pew-ah2- > hewam ‘breathe heavily’
Skt. pṛthuka- ‘child / young of animal’, G. pórtax \ pórtis (f) ‘calf’, Arm. ort’ -u- ‘calf/fawn’, xort’ -o- ‘stepson/adulterine’, Muš. xort’ ‘young (man)’
Arm. ort’ ‘grapevine’, G. pórthos ‘shoot’
*samhǝdho- > E. sand, G. ámathos, Arm. awaz, L. sabulum
*kWyeh1-sk^e\o- > L. quiēscō ‘rest’, *sm- > Arm. hangč’im ‘rest’, Muš hang‘ ‘rest/breath’, Moks xangY
? > Arm. boyl -i- ‘group (of people/deeetc)’, hoyl -i- ‘group of animals/people’, xoyl -i- ‘swelling/tumogland’, bołǰ ‘swelling/tumowound’
Since *h at the start can remain as x, x within words shoud have the same explanation. This includes kanxem above (both k and x odd), and many in https://www.reddit.com/etymology/comments/w04cuz/importance_of_armenian_retention_of_h123/
For PIE *w, a stage with w > GW (G = voiced velar fricative) makes sense (see Hrach Martirosyan). This also shows w > g / kh / x / v / 0 with no cause; it is likely that there was optional *G / *x then optional *x > kh. This is seen by supposed original *gWh = *GW > *x > kh in the other direction. This *x is retained in many examples, often with alternation:
*widk^mt- > *GWic^amt- > *xis^anD- > k’san ’20’
*gWhen- > G. eu-thenḗs ‘in abundance / wealth’, Arm. yo-gn / yo-k’’n ‘numerous/abundant’
*wergY- > TA wärk-, TB wark- ‘shear’, Arm. gercem ‘shave / make bald’, k’ercem ‘shave / peel / strip off’
*Gony- > xonǰim ‘be tired/exhausted’, *yoGn- > yognim / yok’nim ‘be(come) tired/exhausted/discouraged’
*proh3-gWhen- ‘very abundant/large/great’ > G. parthénos ‘virgin’, Arm. aṙa-k’ini ‘valiant/courageous/virtuous/honest’
*GorGuD / *xoruxD > xoroxt / xroxt ‘haughty/proud’, goṙoz ‘proud/arrogant’, goṙ ‘shout/fierce/bold/haughty/warlike’
*wel > G. hélix ‘object with spiral shape’, Arm. xec’ ‘pot / shell (of mollusks)’, xec’ \ hec’ ‘felloe’
*widhw- ‘(arms) apart / tree’ > *GüDG- > *gu(r)g- / *gi(r)k(h)- > Arm. girk-k’ ‘tree’, girk ‘arms/lap/bosom’, gog ‘lap/bosom’, *gurg ‘embrace’, girg ‘tendedelicate/soft’, ołǰ-a-gurem ‘greet / embrace’, gurgurel ‘cuddle/caress’
and even Iran. loans seem to show a stage with GW and optional GW > v or GW > gh:
*g^hew- > jagar ‘funnel’, *javar >> Gr. jabri
*g^wah2lo-, *dz^walanō > Skt. jválana-s ‘fire’, Balochi jal ‘hot ashes / charcoal’, ? >> *azgal > Arm. gazał \ gazax ‘ashes/embers’
Arm. is also known for having odd changes to *r like Arm. kēt ‘biting fly’, kret ‘wasp’; *akurt > MArm. akut’, Van dia. angurt’ (above) among many others https://www.reddit.com/etymology/comments/zkgi2m/latin_pr%C4%93x_request_armenian_a%C5%82ersank_a%C5%82a%C4%8Dank/ . The simplest reason for some r > 0 is a uvular pronunciation R, common in many languages. If R became a fricative, as in French, it might merge with PIE h1, h2, h3 and disappear. The Dardic languages might show traces of this R, with r > x \ h in Kh. (or indirectly, with Rt > xt > th): Skt. vṛtra- ‘stone’, *vart(r)a- > Rom. barr, Kh. boxt \ boht \ bohrt ‘rock/stone’, Ks. bath, Ti. baṭ(h) ‘large rock’, Dm. bāṭ , Dv. wāt'
If this *R is already needed for *r, including *k > *q to help make sense of IE optional treatments of K could work. PIE h1, h2, h3 and R sometimes disappeared; any uvular fricative to 0 would thus cover both. Pamir languages also show irregular K > Q, and their location relatively near Dardic, showing traces of the same, could explain that those on the fringes of IE territory shared this retention. This is not regular, yet orderly, fitting, and in step with common features seen around the world. It also allows many irregular changes to velar C’s to merge into one kind of optionality: K vs. Q. Even if this is not the exact cause, trying to understand broad changes by broad rules is better than coming up with an odd explanation for each oddity.
Alb Albanian
Arm Armenian
Aro Aromanian
Asm Assamese
Av Avestan
Bal Baluchi
Be Bengali
Bg Bulgarian
Bu Burushaski
E English
EArm Eastern Armenian
G Greek
Go Gothic
H Hittite
Hi Hindi
Is Ishkashimi
It Italian
K Kassite
Kd Kurdish
Kho Khotanese
Khw Khwarezmian
Ku Kusunda
L Latin
Li Lithuanian
Lt Latvian
M Mitanni
Mh Marathi
MArm Middle Armenian
MW Middle Welsh
NHG New High German
MHG Middle High German
OHG Old High German
OBg Old Bulgarian
OBr Old Breton
OIc Old Icelandic
OIr Old Irish
OE Old English
ON Old Norse
OPr Old Prussian
OP Old Persian
MP Middle Persian
NP (New) Persian (Farsi)
Nw Norwegian
Os Ossetian
Phr Phrygian
Ps Pashto
R Russian
Ru Romanian\Rumanian
Sar Sarikoli
Shu Shughni
Skt Sanskrit
Sog Sogdian
TA Tocharian A
TB Tocharian B
W Welsh
Wx Wakhi
Gy Gypsy
Dv Domari \ Do:mva:ri:
Lv Lomavren
Rom Romani
Dardic Group
A Atshareetaá \ (older Palola < *Paaloolaá)
B Bangani
Ba bHaṭé-sa zíb \ Bhaṭeri
D Degaanó \ Degano
Dk Domaaki \ Domaá \ D.umaki
Dm Dameli
Gi Gultari
Id Indus Kohistani
Ka Kalam Kohistani \ Kalami \ Gawri \ Bashkarik
Kati
Kh Khowàr
Km Kashmiri
Ks Kalasha
KS Kundal Shahi
Kt ktívi kâtá vari
Kv Kâmvíri
Pl Paaluulaá
Pr Prasun
Ni Nišei-alâ
Np Nepali
Sa Saňu-vīri
Sh Shina
Ti Torwali
Wg Waigali \ Kalas.a-alâ
2023.06.01 00:48 Unliraeldi Non-Smoking hotel? Am I wrong?
I'm staying in a 5 star hotel in Miami area where rooms are costing an average of 500 per night. So I decide to go on my balcony and I smell a strong smoking smell and I look over and see there are a group of people smoking (w**d) hence the smell and the smell is traveling up.
I called front desk and asked if this was a non smoking property an reported them. I don't think I'm wrong but I expect that for the cost of the room and the level of the hotel that smoking wouldn't be an issue. I can't really go on the balcony because the smell is strong.
Would you report them or let it go?
******I don't care if a person choose to smoke in their home or what not but in a hotel that out other people have to stay at is a problem. Especially if your paying $$$ for the room.
submitted by Unliraeldi to travel [link] [comments]
I called front desk and asked if this was a non smoking property an reported them. I don't think I'm wrong but I expect that for the cost of the room and the level of the hotel that smoking wouldn't be an issue. I can't really go on the balcony because the smell is strong.
Would you report them or let it go?
******I don't care if a person choose to smoke in their home or what not but in a hotel that out other people have to stay at is a problem. Especially if your paying $$$ for the room.
2023.06.01 00:35 SchlitzInMyVeins Rob Manfred and MLB are lying. Their greed and arrogance are the only reason the Brewers would ever leave Milwaukee.
I am triggered in response to this recent article about Manfred's visit to Milwaukee. Need to vent. Sorry in advance.
Like Stearns said, "we want to get as many bites out of the apple as possible." It's about being just good enough to keep butts in the seats, not to push us over the hump. It's about maybe, accidentally winning a championship. Small markets either gut their teams and completely exploit their fans like the A's or Reds... or they attempt to compete just enough but never actually have the means to truly compete.
This threat to leave is just another sad example of MLB's infinite greed, constantly trying to pry money out of public funds. For a league that already barely scrapes together a competitive league, this is absolutely pitiful. The MLB is only set up this way because it's old and corrupt. Other leagues (like the NBA or NFL) actually allow small markets to compete on a level playing field... and they're much better off because of it. The MLB refuses to admit that. They constantly disrespect their players who make up the actual product on the field, fail to market the game correctly, and siphon money away from the competitiveness of the game.
submitted by SchlitzInMyVeins to Brewers [link] [comments]
If Milwaukee hopes to keeps the Brewers in town, the city better figure out a plan to renovate American Family Field. Otherwise, the MLB franchise could be looking for a new town to call home. At least that’s the indirect message from league commissioner Rob Manfred.I know something that will ACTUALLY fix the product on the field—revenue sharing and salary floors/caps. This league is already catastrophically broken by greed. Who the fuck thinks a league can exist long-term when some teams spend 4-5x the payroll of others?? The current state of competitive balance is a ruse. The lack of constant stadium upgrades isn't the reason teams "can't afford to put a decent product on the field," it's the fact that there are no real guardrails to ensure a competitive league. Small market teams only exist to make billionaires rich and not to actually compete.
Manfred used the recent news of the Oakland A’s to make his point. The Athletics have a tentative deal in place to move to Las Vegas after the organization struggled to receive assistance from Oakland for stadium renovations.
“It resulted in a decline in the attendance which had an impact on the quality of the product that the team could afford to put on the field,” Manfred said, per the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel.
Like Stearns said, "we want to get as many bites out of the apple as possible." It's about being just good enough to keep butts in the seats, not to push us over the hump. It's about maybe, accidentally winning a championship. Small markets either gut their teams and completely exploit their fans like the A's or Reds... or they attempt to compete just enough but never actually have the means to truly compete.
This threat to leave is just another sad example of MLB's infinite greed, constantly trying to pry money out of public funds. For a league that already barely scrapes together a competitive league, this is absolutely pitiful. The MLB is only set up this way because it's old and corrupt. Other leagues (like the NBA or NFL) actually allow small markets to compete on a level playing field... and they're much better off because of it. The MLB refuses to admit that. They constantly disrespect their players who make up the actual product on the field, fail to market the game correctly, and siphon money away from the competitiveness of the game.
TLDR:
Strip MLB's antitrust exemption and federally legislate that any money from public funds to MLB franchises MUST be met with a percentage of equity in the team in return.2023.06.01 00:28 plague_witch13 Thinking about moving to vegas
So my fiancée and i both chefs, we were thinking about moving to Nevada to grow our culinary careers. I would love to take Amaury Guichon pastry course, and my mom said she would help us move over there and pay for the course. My fiancée is willing to work anywhere. Any advice for the work environment in Las Vegas?
I feel like my area is very limited on options
One day, we want to have our own restaurants and bakery. We also wana grow our food knowledge and better job opportunities.
My mom says that we should take advantage that we are young and don't have kids to work and learn wherever we want.
I feel kinda lost, i don't know what to do
I used to work for a big hotel chain, and i got screwed over by HR, im scared to go work for another hotel again. I tried finding restaurant/ bakery jobs near me, and i feel like it's not good. I had to leave one because of a roach infestation, and some fell on top of me, crawled all over me, and my food prep. Some places had really shitty people and not clean. My last few jobs i haven't been working with food just selling or being a hostess.
I just want to be paid a livable wage and work in a place that feels good to work in.
Any advice would be helpful. Please and thank you
submitted by plague_witch13 to Chefit [link] [comments]
I feel like my area is very limited on options
One day, we want to have our own restaurants and bakery. We also wana grow our food knowledge and better job opportunities.
My mom says that we should take advantage that we are young and don't have kids to work and learn wherever we want.
I feel kinda lost, i don't know what to do
I used to work for a big hotel chain, and i got screwed over by HR, im scared to go work for another hotel again. I tried finding restaurant/ bakery jobs near me, and i feel like it's not good. I had to leave one because of a roach infestation, and some fell on top of me, crawled all over me, and my food prep. Some places had really shitty people and not clean. My last few jobs i haven't been working with food just selling or being a hostess.
I just want to be paid a livable wage and work in a place that feels good to work in.
Any advice would be helpful. Please and thank you
2023.06.01 00:26 Living-Argument9950 Pain in outer corner of eye
38 female, Bulgaria, non-smoking, no medications or known illnesses, 64 kg 167 cm
Hi, for several months I’ve had some pain in the outer corner of one of my eyes . There is nothing visible at all, it’s not really the eye but the feeling is more in the skin to the side and going a bit below the eye. No redness or other inflammation. The pain is sometimes less, sometimes more, and hurts a bit when I blink. What could it possibly be - and what specialist do I need to go to? Is it eye/nerve/skin issue? Thanks for any suggestions!
submitted by Living-Argument9950 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Hi, for several months I’ve had some pain in the outer corner of one of my eyes . There is nothing visible at all, it’s not really the eye but the feeling is more in the skin to the side and going a bit below the eye. No redness or other inflammation. The pain is sometimes less, sometimes more, and hurts a bit when I blink. What could it possibly be - and what specialist do I need to go to? Is it eye/nerve/skin issue? Thanks for any suggestions!
2023.06.01 00:23 Just-Letterhead1382 Should I sell my tickets to Luke Combs or go? I'm pretty torn.
My wife and I have had tickets to an upcoming out of state Luke Combs concert since last year. We're both big fans and missed out on getting tickets to his local show last year. It's on a Saturday and the idea was to take Friday and Monday off and make it a long weekend - the concert is about five hours away.
First problem, someone at work beat me to asking for time off, and their PTO includes that Friday and Monday, so now I can't get either day off because we'd be empty-handed at work with both of us not there. It would be a short whirlwind type trip now where we leave after work on Friday, travel for five hours and then come back on Sunday morning/afternoon.
The second problem is the early forecast for that day is for PM thunderstorms and the concert is outside in a football stadium with no roof. It's 10 days out so the forecast could still change for the better (or for the worse)
The third problem, I have two people on my team at work, and they are both out of state that night. If I am too, and there's an emergency situation at work (unlikely but a non-zero chance) then we would be really up a creek with no coverage.
The fourth problem, Ticketmaster is only offering me $50 bucks per ticket for lower level endzone aisle seats. That would be a big loss on what I paid the day they went on sale - $105 apiece plus taxes and fees for a total of $247.
The mistake I made was not getting tickets to his Dallas show, which was in March in a stadium with a retractable roof, and at a time when there wasn't a bunch of staffing considerations at work. But we chose Kansas City, a little farther away, ecause I could stay there with family and save hotel costs.
submitted by Just-Letterhead1382 to Advice [link] [comments]
First problem, someone at work beat me to asking for time off, and their PTO includes that Friday and Monday, so now I can't get either day off because we'd be empty-handed at work with both of us not there. It would be a short whirlwind type trip now where we leave after work on Friday, travel for five hours and then come back on Sunday morning/afternoon.
The second problem is the early forecast for that day is for PM thunderstorms and the concert is outside in a football stadium with no roof. It's 10 days out so the forecast could still change for the better (or for the worse)
The third problem, I have two people on my team at work, and they are both out of state that night. If I am too, and there's an emergency situation at work (unlikely but a non-zero chance) then we would be really up a creek with no coverage.
The fourth problem, Ticketmaster is only offering me $50 bucks per ticket for lower level endzone aisle seats. That would be a big loss on what I paid the day they went on sale - $105 apiece plus taxes and fees for a total of $247.
The mistake I made was not getting tickets to his Dallas show, which was in March in a stadium with a retractable roof, and at a time when there wasn't a bunch of staffing considerations at work. But we chose Kansas City, a little farther away, ecause I could stay there with family and save hotel costs.
2023.06.01 00:16 Weather23k Big Test this Past Weekend
Over the weekend I went past the 70 day mark and I wanted to do something (adult) fun with my wife and in-laws (never-smokers) so we went to a casino nearby. Since COVID, the gaming area has been smoke free but they opened up a “smoking room” late last year. Out of curiosity (and maybe a bit of a test), I went into the smoking area. What I can tell you is that the atmosphere in there was so heavy and thick with cigarette smoke I couldn’t stand it more than a few minutes. I continued to walk around the room seeing smokers do their thing. I used to pop in there to play the machines when I smoked…it stunk to high heaven. I think many of us who have cravings forget the smell of cigarette smoke—we just remember the routine of it all. Happy to say I wasn’t tempted or triggered in the least—in fact it renewed my commitment to stay on the road to becoming a non-smoker.
submitted by Weather23k to quittingsmoking [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 23:28 PageTurner_Official The Burned House
Written by Vincent O’Sullivan and first published in January 1916; translated to modern English, otherwise left exactly the same.
------
[Introduction]
One night— during my last voyage across the Atlantic— someone mentioned that we were passing over the spot where the Lusitania went down. Whether or not this was true, the thought alone was enough to dampen the mood and begin a serious discussion regarding the emotional state of the passengers when they realized they were sinking. From there, the conversation turned to the fate of those who drowned, (after all, they were the fortunate ones) and tales of the survivors.
A Scottish lady asked if their ghosts ever appeared on passing ships and if there was a risk of seeing one should the light in her cabin go out. This put an end to everyone’s seriousness, and most of us laughed— all except for a short, tight-faced man whose expression was bleak and gray. The lady noticed this and appealed to him for support.
“Do you also believe in ghosts?” She asked lightly.
He hesitated, thinking it over before replying. “In ghosts? N-no, I don’t; I’ve never seen one… Have any of you?”
No one replied. Instead, most of us laughed again— only a little uneasily this time— and the man continued. “All the same— even if you discount the existence of ghosts— life is filled with strange happenings that just can’t be explained. You try to laugh them off until you experience something big enough to truly shock you, and then you stop laughing entirely… It’s like being thrown out of a car—”
The man’s words were cut off by the blast of the ship’s whistle, and everyone rushed up to the deck, but we had only entered a fogbelt. I ended up smoking a cigar and walking the upper deck with the bleak man who soon returned to the topic of our dinner conversation; it was clear that our laughter had bothered him.
“Life is filled with so many strange things... You can laugh at faith-healing, dreams, and all of that until something unexplainable happens. Then, you have to throw your hands up and admit that you don’t have an answer. I’m as logical as any man here, but I’ve experienced such a situation. It doesn’t matter whether or not other people believe it— it happened. I can’t doubt it any more than I could doubt having a tooth pulled. If you will sit in this corner with me— out of the wind— I’ll tell you about it…”
-----
[The Burned House]
Some years ago, I had to be in Northern England for several months while I appeared before the courts. The trial itself is irrelevant, and I’ve forgotten most of the details anyway, but it was a long and worrisome case that added twenty years to my age. All of my time in that grimy Manchester courtroom was spent thinking of a fresh little place in the Lake District and how I would go there if the trial went well; it was the only thing that helped pass the hours.
The morning after I was acquitted, I boarded the north-bound train. It was early autumn, so— by the time I arrived— the sun had already set, and it was cold. The village was dark and deserted; they don’t go out at night anyway, but the strong mountain wind was enough to deter anyone who might try.
The hotel was not modernized like the great ones in the city. Instead, it was a real old-fashioned tavern— one of the most uncomfortable places on earth. They show you that traveling is like being in prison— that home is the best place for you— both morally and physically. The landlord brought me supper with a hat on his head and a pipe in his mouth. The room was chilly, but when I asked for a fire, he said he couldn’t go to the woodshed until morning. There was nothing else to do after I ate, so I went outside to escape the smell and warm myself with a short walk.
Being unfamiliar with the area, I didn’t mean to go far, but it was an overcast night with high winds and occasional rain flurries. Even with the moon concealed behind the clouds, it lit the night well enough to see a good distance ahead, so I continued walking until I was in a lonely, isolated region. Large trees and shrubs lined the road, and there was a mountain stream several feet below. The wind blowing through the high trees combined with the racing water sounded like a crowd of people. Sometimes the tree branches became so thick, it was like walking through a black pit, but then I would return to the gray countryside.
I had been walking for about 45 minutes when I came to a fork in the road. One side led downward— almost reaching the stream below— and the one I decided to follow ascended a steep hill. I climbed for more than half a mile fully aware of how lost I would be should I lose track of a landmark. Then the path curved and came out onto a broad plateau, where— to my astonishment— I saw a house.
It was three-storeys high with a verandah around two sides, and it overlooked a far stretch of the country. There were a few large trees nearby and a clump of bushes behind it, but the home seemed lonely with all four sides so vulnerable to the wind. Regardless, I was glad to know there were people who could give me directions if I became lost… Except— once I got closer— I found that it was uninhabited. All the shutters were closed, and there wasn’t a flicker of light to be seen.
There was something sinister and barren about it that made me shiver. It was the same feeling as if one were to consider jumping into the black waters of the stream below. It’s not an entirely unpleasant feeling— it makes one appreciate their current safety that much more. I wasn’t really frightened. I was alone— miles from any help and at the mercy of anyone who might be lurking behind those sullen shutters— but I knew that I was most likely safe. My hesitation was due to the wild scenery’s effect on my nerves along with the unexpected discovery of such a lonely house.
Instead of continuing along the road, I walked roughly 250 yards through the grass until coming to a stone wall where I rested and surveyed the scene. A strange light lingered atop the far away hills— like the first touch of dawn on a rainy morning or the last glimpse of twilight before the night comes. Between myself and the hills was a wide stretch of open country with an apple orchard to my right. A set of steps had been made in the wall of piled stones so the residents could go back and forth.
After standing there for a considerable time, I noticed a man coming towards me from the orchard. He was a tall, skinny fellow with a clean shaven face, and he wore a cowboy hat with a woolen shirt and rubber boots. He walked with a good stride and appeared to be between 25 and 30. As he began crossing over the stone wall, I wished him a neighborly goodnight, but he made no reply. Instead, he looked right at me, and his expression made me uneasy. He didn’t have an evil face— in fact it was a handsome, serious face— but it was ravaged by something terrible. It had the look of stealth, ruthlessness, and a deadly resolution… Yet he also held the appearance of a man driven by some uncontrollable power— a man asking for comprehension and mercy. It was impossible to resent his rudeness; his thoughts were so obviously elsewhere that I doubt he even saw me.
He had only passed by a few seconds ago when I turned to look for him, but he’d disappeared. Even if he’d sprinted, he couldn’t have gotten inside so quickly, but I like to attribute things I don’t understand to natural causes that I’ve merely failed to observe. Surely the man went back into the orchard or some other opening farther down… Or maybe the distorted light was playing tricks on my eyes… Either way, that’s when I noticed lights appearing behind the house’s shutters; they were flickering— going from bright to dim— and glowing like a fire. It didn’t take long to become convinced that’s exactly what it was; the house was on fire!
Black smoke billowed from the roof while red sparks flew in the wind. Suddenly, a pair of shutters were thrown open above the verandah, and I heard a woman scream. I ran towards the house as fast as I could until I could see her clearly.
She was young, and her long hair fell in disarray over a white nightgown. She stretched out her bare arms, screaming, and then a man grabbed her from behind, but they were trapped. The flames were licking around the windows, and the smoke was killing them as the house began to cave in over where they stood. Appalled by the horrible tragedy, I moved even closer; if the two could make their way to the side without the verandah— they could jump, and I could try to break their fall.
I shouted this plan to them, but— as I came right up to the flames— I noticed something astonishing… The fire wasn’t producing any heat! Truly— I was standing close enough to be burned, yet I felt no heat whatsoever! The sparks flew all around my head— some even landed on my hands— but I wasn’t even singed; likewise, there was no glare against the sky. That’s when I noticed the smoke was billowing in great columns, yet I wasn’t choked by it at all— I didn’t so much as smell it! I stood there stupefied as the whole house was engulfed by a flaming tornado and crumbled into a red ruin.
Heart stricken, I made my way down the hill while shouting for help and came to a small, wooden bridge. At the end, there was a rope fastened to the railing and thrown over the side… Looking down, I saw a man hanging between the road and the stream; upon closer inspection, I recognized him as the man I saw exiting the orchard. His hat had fallen off, and the tips of his boots just barely touched the water.
It didn’t seem possible, but there was no denying he was the same man. I scrambled to the bottom hoping to lift the body and relieve the weight on the rope. I was just able to reach his loose shirt, yet there was no resistance when I pulled, and— for a moment— I thought the shirt tore loose; then I realized my hand had closed on nothing but air… I was so suffocated by the horror that I feared losing consciousness.
I began running and stumbling along that dark road in total panic; the only thing I could think to do was wake the whole town and bring more men back to the bridge… At least, that was my intention, but— when the village was finally within sight— I instinctively slowed down and began to think it over more logically… After all, I was a stranger in those parts… One who had just endured a rather disagreeable trial, and country folk are notoriously suspicious by default.
I was already at my limit for baseless accusations, so I decided the smartest option was to drop a few hints to the landlord. That way, I could decide how to proceed based on his reaction. I found him exactly as I’d left him— still sitting in that same spot while he smoked.
“Well, I was wondering where you ran off to.” He said slowly.
I told him about my walk and casually mentioned the forked road and hill before asking who lived in the house at the top.
For a moment he only stared at me in confusion before confidently replying, “house? There’s no house up there. Old Joe Snedeker owns that land, and he wants to build a house for his son after the boy gets married, but he ain’t even gotten started yet… Some folks don’t think he ever will.”
“I’m pretty sure I saw a house…” I protested feebly, lacking the courage to dispute his claim. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact there was no heat or substance to it.
The landlord gave me a look of concern with his next response. “You seem a bit out of it; maybe it would be best for you to get some sleep...”
-----
[Conclusion]
The man paused from telling his story, and— for a moment— we sat in silence, listening to the hum of the machinery and the lashing sea merge with the singing voices from the deck below.
As a rule, we tend to feel a shade of contemptuous superiority over those who believe in their dreams or a fortune-teller’s predictions, and that’s what I felt now. “Hallucinations— it was just your eyes playing tricks. Your nerves were probably shattered after the long strain of your trial.” I said with reassuring indulgence
“That’s what I thought, too— especially after I returned to the hill the following morning… There was no sign of the house ever existing.” He replied shortly.
“And no corpse at the bridge?” I asked with a laugh.
“And no corpse at the bridge.” He confirmed while trying to light another cigar. It took a little time, but— once he managed it— he rose from his chair and stood looking down at me before continuing.
“Now, listen. I told you this all happened several years ago. I’d almost forgotten it; if you can convince yourself that something was only your imagination— the memory begins to dim inside your head. Once you recognize it as a delusion, it loses its hold on you. Whenever I would remember it, I would think of how close I came to losing my mind; that’s all. Last year, I went back to that same hotel and talked to the same landlord who immediately remembered me as the man who thought he saw the house. After sharing a laugh, he said a house had since been built up there.
“He also said it would’ve been better if the house had never existed. Old Snedeker built his son a big, fine house with a veranda on two sides, and Young Joe began courting Mabel Elting. She was from Windermere, but she worked at a shop in Liverpool. She used to date a fellow named Jim Travers, and he was wild about her; he’d save his money to go visit her, but she eventually ended the relationship to marry Joe— probably because of his house and his old man’s money. Well, Jim went crazy, and— on the newlywed’s very first night in their new home— he burned it down while the couple slept… The landlord speculated the guy must have been drunk; he’d always known Jim as a quiet, gentle man…
“He looked surprised when I told him that wasn’t the case, but when he asked if I’d heard about the incident, I simply said no and prompted him to continue. After burning the young couple in their bed, he hung himself at the little bridge just before the road forked… He personally witnessed the body hanging on the following morning and saw that the tips of Jim’s boots just barely touched the water…”
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------
[Introduction]
One night— during my last voyage across the Atlantic— someone mentioned that we were passing over the spot where the Lusitania went down. Whether or not this was true, the thought alone was enough to dampen the mood and begin a serious discussion regarding the emotional state of the passengers when they realized they were sinking. From there, the conversation turned to the fate of those who drowned, (after all, they were the fortunate ones) and tales of the survivors.
A Scottish lady asked if their ghosts ever appeared on passing ships and if there was a risk of seeing one should the light in her cabin go out. This put an end to everyone’s seriousness, and most of us laughed— all except for a short, tight-faced man whose expression was bleak and gray. The lady noticed this and appealed to him for support.
“Do you also believe in ghosts?” She asked lightly.
He hesitated, thinking it over before replying. “In ghosts? N-no, I don’t; I’ve never seen one… Have any of you?”
No one replied. Instead, most of us laughed again— only a little uneasily this time— and the man continued. “All the same— even if you discount the existence of ghosts— life is filled with strange happenings that just can’t be explained. You try to laugh them off until you experience something big enough to truly shock you, and then you stop laughing entirely… It’s like being thrown out of a car—”
The man’s words were cut off by the blast of the ship’s whistle, and everyone rushed up to the deck, but we had only entered a fogbelt. I ended up smoking a cigar and walking the upper deck with the bleak man who soon returned to the topic of our dinner conversation; it was clear that our laughter had bothered him.
“Life is filled with so many strange things... You can laugh at faith-healing, dreams, and all of that until something unexplainable happens. Then, you have to throw your hands up and admit that you don’t have an answer. I’m as logical as any man here, but I’ve experienced such a situation. It doesn’t matter whether or not other people believe it— it happened. I can’t doubt it any more than I could doubt having a tooth pulled. If you will sit in this corner with me— out of the wind— I’ll tell you about it…”
-----
[The Burned House]
Some years ago, I had to be in Northern England for several months while I appeared before the courts. The trial itself is irrelevant, and I’ve forgotten most of the details anyway, but it was a long and worrisome case that added twenty years to my age. All of my time in that grimy Manchester courtroom was spent thinking of a fresh little place in the Lake District and how I would go there if the trial went well; it was the only thing that helped pass the hours.
The morning after I was acquitted, I boarded the north-bound train. It was early autumn, so— by the time I arrived— the sun had already set, and it was cold. The village was dark and deserted; they don’t go out at night anyway, but the strong mountain wind was enough to deter anyone who might try.
The hotel was not modernized like the great ones in the city. Instead, it was a real old-fashioned tavern— one of the most uncomfortable places on earth. They show you that traveling is like being in prison— that home is the best place for you— both morally and physically. The landlord brought me supper with a hat on his head and a pipe in his mouth. The room was chilly, but when I asked for a fire, he said he couldn’t go to the woodshed until morning. There was nothing else to do after I ate, so I went outside to escape the smell and warm myself with a short walk.
Being unfamiliar with the area, I didn’t mean to go far, but it was an overcast night with high winds and occasional rain flurries. Even with the moon concealed behind the clouds, it lit the night well enough to see a good distance ahead, so I continued walking until I was in a lonely, isolated region. Large trees and shrubs lined the road, and there was a mountain stream several feet below. The wind blowing through the high trees combined with the racing water sounded like a crowd of people. Sometimes the tree branches became so thick, it was like walking through a black pit, but then I would return to the gray countryside.
I had been walking for about 45 minutes when I came to a fork in the road. One side led downward— almost reaching the stream below— and the one I decided to follow ascended a steep hill. I climbed for more than half a mile fully aware of how lost I would be should I lose track of a landmark. Then the path curved and came out onto a broad plateau, where— to my astonishment— I saw a house.
It was three-storeys high with a verandah around two sides, and it overlooked a far stretch of the country. There were a few large trees nearby and a clump of bushes behind it, but the home seemed lonely with all four sides so vulnerable to the wind. Regardless, I was glad to know there were people who could give me directions if I became lost… Except— once I got closer— I found that it was uninhabited. All the shutters were closed, and there wasn’t a flicker of light to be seen.
There was something sinister and barren about it that made me shiver. It was the same feeling as if one were to consider jumping into the black waters of the stream below. It’s not an entirely unpleasant feeling— it makes one appreciate their current safety that much more. I wasn’t really frightened. I was alone— miles from any help and at the mercy of anyone who might be lurking behind those sullen shutters— but I knew that I was most likely safe. My hesitation was due to the wild scenery’s effect on my nerves along with the unexpected discovery of such a lonely house.
Instead of continuing along the road, I walked roughly 250 yards through the grass until coming to a stone wall where I rested and surveyed the scene. A strange light lingered atop the far away hills— like the first touch of dawn on a rainy morning or the last glimpse of twilight before the night comes. Between myself and the hills was a wide stretch of open country with an apple orchard to my right. A set of steps had been made in the wall of piled stones so the residents could go back and forth.
After standing there for a considerable time, I noticed a man coming towards me from the orchard. He was a tall, skinny fellow with a clean shaven face, and he wore a cowboy hat with a woolen shirt and rubber boots. He walked with a good stride and appeared to be between 25 and 30. As he began crossing over the stone wall, I wished him a neighborly goodnight, but he made no reply. Instead, he looked right at me, and his expression made me uneasy. He didn’t have an evil face— in fact it was a handsome, serious face— but it was ravaged by something terrible. It had the look of stealth, ruthlessness, and a deadly resolution… Yet he also held the appearance of a man driven by some uncontrollable power— a man asking for comprehension and mercy. It was impossible to resent his rudeness; his thoughts were so obviously elsewhere that I doubt he even saw me.
He had only passed by a few seconds ago when I turned to look for him, but he’d disappeared. Even if he’d sprinted, he couldn’t have gotten inside so quickly, but I like to attribute things I don’t understand to natural causes that I’ve merely failed to observe. Surely the man went back into the orchard or some other opening farther down… Or maybe the distorted light was playing tricks on my eyes… Either way, that’s when I noticed lights appearing behind the house’s shutters; they were flickering— going from bright to dim— and glowing like a fire. It didn’t take long to become convinced that’s exactly what it was; the house was on fire!
Black smoke billowed from the roof while red sparks flew in the wind. Suddenly, a pair of shutters were thrown open above the verandah, and I heard a woman scream. I ran towards the house as fast as I could until I could see her clearly.
She was young, and her long hair fell in disarray over a white nightgown. She stretched out her bare arms, screaming, and then a man grabbed her from behind, but they were trapped. The flames were licking around the windows, and the smoke was killing them as the house began to cave in over where they stood. Appalled by the horrible tragedy, I moved even closer; if the two could make their way to the side without the verandah— they could jump, and I could try to break their fall.
I shouted this plan to them, but— as I came right up to the flames— I noticed something astonishing… The fire wasn’t producing any heat! Truly— I was standing close enough to be burned, yet I felt no heat whatsoever! The sparks flew all around my head— some even landed on my hands— but I wasn’t even singed; likewise, there was no glare against the sky. That’s when I noticed the smoke was billowing in great columns, yet I wasn’t choked by it at all— I didn’t so much as smell it! I stood there stupefied as the whole house was engulfed by a flaming tornado and crumbled into a red ruin.
Heart stricken, I made my way down the hill while shouting for help and came to a small, wooden bridge. At the end, there was a rope fastened to the railing and thrown over the side… Looking down, I saw a man hanging between the road and the stream; upon closer inspection, I recognized him as the man I saw exiting the orchard. His hat had fallen off, and the tips of his boots just barely touched the water.
It didn’t seem possible, but there was no denying he was the same man. I scrambled to the bottom hoping to lift the body and relieve the weight on the rope. I was just able to reach his loose shirt, yet there was no resistance when I pulled, and— for a moment— I thought the shirt tore loose; then I realized my hand had closed on nothing but air… I was so suffocated by the horror that I feared losing consciousness.
I began running and stumbling along that dark road in total panic; the only thing I could think to do was wake the whole town and bring more men back to the bridge… At least, that was my intention, but— when the village was finally within sight— I instinctively slowed down and began to think it over more logically… After all, I was a stranger in those parts… One who had just endured a rather disagreeable trial, and country folk are notoriously suspicious by default.
I was already at my limit for baseless accusations, so I decided the smartest option was to drop a few hints to the landlord. That way, I could decide how to proceed based on his reaction. I found him exactly as I’d left him— still sitting in that same spot while he smoked.
“Well, I was wondering where you ran off to.” He said slowly.
I told him about my walk and casually mentioned the forked road and hill before asking who lived in the house at the top.
For a moment he only stared at me in confusion before confidently replying, “house? There’s no house up there. Old Joe Snedeker owns that land, and he wants to build a house for his son after the boy gets married, but he ain’t even gotten started yet… Some folks don’t think he ever will.”
“I’m pretty sure I saw a house…” I protested feebly, lacking the courage to dispute his claim. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact there was no heat or substance to it.
The landlord gave me a look of concern with his next response. “You seem a bit out of it; maybe it would be best for you to get some sleep...”
-----
[Conclusion]
The man paused from telling his story, and— for a moment— we sat in silence, listening to the hum of the machinery and the lashing sea merge with the singing voices from the deck below.
As a rule, we tend to feel a shade of contemptuous superiority over those who believe in their dreams or a fortune-teller’s predictions, and that’s what I felt now. “Hallucinations— it was just your eyes playing tricks. Your nerves were probably shattered after the long strain of your trial.” I said with reassuring indulgence
“That’s what I thought, too— especially after I returned to the hill the following morning… There was no sign of the house ever existing.” He replied shortly.
“And no corpse at the bridge?” I asked with a laugh.
“And no corpse at the bridge.” He confirmed while trying to light another cigar. It took a little time, but— once he managed it— he rose from his chair and stood looking down at me before continuing.
“Now, listen. I told you this all happened several years ago. I’d almost forgotten it; if you can convince yourself that something was only your imagination— the memory begins to dim inside your head. Once you recognize it as a delusion, it loses its hold on you. Whenever I would remember it, I would think of how close I came to losing my mind; that’s all. Last year, I went back to that same hotel and talked to the same landlord who immediately remembered me as the man who thought he saw the house. After sharing a laugh, he said a house had since been built up there.
“He also said it would’ve been better if the house had never existed. Old Snedeker built his son a big, fine house with a veranda on two sides, and Young Joe began courting Mabel Elting. She was from Windermere, but she worked at a shop in Liverpool. She used to date a fellow named Jim Travers, and he was wild about her; he’d save his money to go visit her, but she eventually ended the relationship to marry Joe— probably because of his house and his old man’s money. Well, Jim went crazy, and— on the newlywed’s very first night in their new home— he burned it down while the couple slept… The landlord speculated the guy must have been drunk; he’d always known Jim as a quiet, gentle man…
“He looked surprised when I told him that wasn’t the case, but when he asked if I’d heard about the incident, I simply said no and prompted him to continue. After burning the young couple in their bed, he hung himself at the little bridge just before the road forked… He personally witnessed the body hanging on the following morning and saw that the tips of Jim’s boots just barely touched the water…”
2023.05.31 23:28 idekkanymoree_ Ive had non stop stomach ache and nausea for like 4 days and its really painful but idk whats caused it
16 Female 5’4 Around 12st Dont smoke or drink
Since Sunday night ive had really bad non stop stomach ache and dehydration. I was rolling around in pain Monday night and it hasnt gone away. Ive had no appetite all day yesterday and all this morning too. Ive felt nauseous for the past 2 days despite eating non greasy foods and drinking like 5 pints of water a day. Ive had dirrahea like 3/4 times today in the space of a few hours and it wont go away. Ive tried quite a few pain relievers but non will work and it wont go away. Ive been in discomfort for days with no explanation. I also kept going dizzy yesterday and ive been dehydrated since the night my stomach ache kicked off. Any causes for this??
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Since Sunday night ive had really bad non stop stomach ache and dehydration. I was rolling around in pain Monday night and it hasnt gone away. Ive had no appetite all day yesterday and all this morning too. Ive felt nauseous for the past 2 days despite eating non greasy foods and drinking like 5 pints of water a day. Ive had dirrahea like 3/4 times today in the space of a few hours and it wont go away. Ive tried quite a few pain relievers but non will work and it wont go away. Ive been in discomfort for days with no explanation. I also kept going dizzy yesterday and ive been dehydrated since the night my stomach ache kicked off. Any causes for this??
2023.05.31 23:27 JonathanRedding Ghost Word Pt 1.
Hello all! I'm a screenwriter and longtime lover of horror prose, taking some time during the strike to polish up old unpublished pieces and maybe embark on some new ones. This is the first I'm sharing publicly -- it's a nasty piece of work, about a nasty little man who receives a power he really shouldn't have. Most of my stories aren't like this, but Lyle Hereford insisted upon himself, and I haven't yet managed to forget him. It's also a bit lengthy, about 8600 words (30ish manuscript pages). I'm posting it in two parts.
WARNING: This story contains depictions of non-consensual sex and gun violence.
GHOST WORD
By Jonathan Redding
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ghost word
1. (noun) A previously unknown word appearing in a dictionary or list of words, often by error--but sometimes by design.
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Lyle Hereford laid there, slick and frightened, and thought about the Word.
He rolled his head to the right, to the nightstand beside his narrow bed, saw the flat green numerals pronounce it 3:17AM. On another night he might have thought of the Gospel According to John, at that hour, or more obscurely, of the Weird Sisters, of the Walpurgisnacht. Sleeplessness was a condition of his pinched, brittle being*.* Tonight he lay there sweating, insomnia buzzing in his thighs, his hamstrings. The inevitable heartburn seethed in his concave chest, and he thought about the Word.
The Word was not with him.
He thought about it sitting, inert, on the small rolling desk, in his office, across the city. Thought about the urban glow, blotting out the stars, seeping in the window, slanting though the low-bid venetian blinds the first contractors must have installed and none of those cheap bastards at the University ever bothered to replace, the blinds that always tear at their thin top fixtures, that Lyle mends with tight sleeves of Scotch tape. He thought about the city’s ambient nightlight seeping in, and falling, across the side desk, across the Word. He thought about the binding. Cream, once, probably, soft and blameless. Faded to no-color, now. An old traveler. But what was it? And how had it come to be there? How did it come to rest on that shelf, that groaning, overburdened, mid-century plank?
Lyle imagined someone slipping into the library, furtive, mounting the stair, the tome swinging against them, tucked in a messenger bag. Some faceless someone, head down, hood up, sunglasses in the dim. Lyle pictured them skirting around the encyclopedias and the medieval histories and bypassing the long rows of technical manuals and the corridors of Euclidean geometry and enzymology and theoretical economics and arriving at the neglected, quaint, neat rows of purest Reference: the Dictionaries.
Lyle had gone to consult the Oxford English Dictionary. Specifically the 1989 Second Edition, magnificent in twenty volumes; a tool with which he insisted each of his students familiarize themselves. On this day he had sought out the second volume specifically, the one beginning with B.B.C.
James, that young Turk, had challenged his interpretation of a passage of Taming of the Shrew. It turned on the etymology of the word bonnie.
Tried to score off me, in front of the whole class, that smug little prick.
James, graduate student par excellence. James of the falling black hair, perpetually obscuring his face, terminating above his perfect smile. James who was such a favorite among the bouncing, giggling undergraduates. James who found it easy to excel, in any environment, who found it very difficult to accept Lyle’s criticisms, Lyle’s guidance. James was many things Lyle was not, had never been, and Lyle knew it. But James had not yet learned to survive in academia. James was going to discover that you did not score points off Lyle Hereford, Ph.D., and Lyle would see to it that it happened painfully. In the town square, as it were. It would have to be just a touch humiliating.
`Darby, especially, Lyle thought. She has to see it. Yes. Just the right amount of condescension to really cut into him, to make it memorable.
Only Lyle never found his ammunition in the second volume beginning with B.B.C. because his interest was diverted. He never queried the etymology of bonnie in the compressed italics of lexicalese, never perused the examples from John Donne and Sir Thomas Aquinas and the Cursor Mundi behind their truncated century marks, because something else caught his eye. Something that shouldn’t have been there. Tucked in between the seventh and eighth volumes (Interval and Look, respectively, he knew) was a tattered book, somewhere in the neighborhood of a hundred pages, grayed to nothing, the color of a shroud. Lyle reached down, placed his index finger atop the book’s spine, and drew it from the shelf. He gave it a cursory glance—the cover lettering had been savaged by time, but fragments of the lower half survived:
PART A—ANT
#
OXFO D
1877
“What in the world,” Lyle said. The library swallowed the sound, took it into the mute stillness of itself, into its hush. What he held in his hands was not genuine—could not be genuine. The original OED was printed like this, piecemeal, in what were called fascicles.
But not this soon, God, not this soon! They hadn’t even started!
The first fascicle of the OED, the very first product of their seventy-year odyssey, the publication that made the London philologia realize they had bit off quite a bit more than they could chew, was designated A-Ant. It was a rare bird, a thing to be coveted. It was valuable.
It was first printed in 1884.
Lyle had always thought it a clever, tiny nod of Orwell’s, lost to the mass of readers: that the OED should rule for a century, before Newspeak replaced it. This, then, if it was what it purported to be, what the front cover claimed it to be, was early. Seven whole years early.
A misprint, he thought. Has to be. That would change the valuation—this could be one-of-a-kind. Not that Lyle would dream of selling such a book. Before this moment, he wouldn’t even have allowed himself to dream of holding such a book. He checked for a barcode, a borrower’s card. He found neither. What is it DOING here?
He had let it fall open at random, there, among the stacks, a single water-damaged page stood up like a cowlick, he gingerly pressed it flat. The type within was much more preserved than the weathered front-plating. He scanned, gliding over the forms: aglist, aglitter, aglomerular, aglopened, aglossal, aglow-
That was when he had seen the Word.
Though it wasn’t the Word itself, that had drawn his attention. It was the empty white, beneath it. The dictionary game was all about spatial economy. Column inches and abbreviations. In forty-seven years of nebbish quietude, forty-seven years of slow vanishing into a wilderness of text, Lyle Hereford, Ph.D., had never encountered empty white space in the body of a dictionary. Thus, first, the white. Then he had looked above it.
The Word did not begin with the letter “A”.
The Word did not conform to any structural schema that Lyle recognized. There was no easily discernible root in the Romance lineage, nor the Germanic, nor even the primordial Oriental or Sanskrit Anglicizations which the casual peruser of the Mahabharata or of Patanjali’s Sutras might intuitively place. The Word began with the character “X”, and proceeded from there to a feral enjambment of consonants and choked, almost Hebraic “Y’s”. It possessed no other vowels. Merely the Word, this strange word, had greeted Lyle. No origin, pronunciation, part-of-speech. No definition. Merely the Word, and the white beneath, there in the stacks.
Lyle brushed his thumb across the Word. Looking back, now, he couldn’t really say why. It was the sort of automatic, immediate impulse that you don’t question until it’s complete. It came over him like a yawn. He felt the thin whisper of the paper beneath his skin, he traced the Word from its first syllable to its eighth and final and
“FUCK— “
A kind of WRETCH, a spasm, behind his eyes, within his temples, his core, the cilia of his inner ears. His stomach flopped over queasily in his abdomen and he clenched his ass, just ahead of a hot dart of pressure, a hot sharp dart of pressure, gas and a tincture of liquid, a foul egg smell, he fought to hold it—
“fuckfuckfuck— “
Tremoring in his calves, his whole body strained, the feeble musculature flared from his neck, his weak chin pressed down and his gorge rose. Warm coppery blood pattered and trickled over his lips. Lyle’s nose was bleeding. The fit—whatever it was—began to pass, and Lyle looked down through watering eyes to the object in his hands.
“What in the Christ-?”
The library remained silent, the book remained still, the Word remained inscrutable. He noticed the spatter, low on the page, of his blood, obscuring the column inches, smearing over agnathous. He gathered up a shirt cuff in his hand, squeezed it to his nose—*that’s never coming out—*and awkwardly sat, pooling the book in his lap. He reached down with his other cuff to dab at the page, mitigate the damage. That is when, Lyle now thought, he may have gone mad.
The beads of blood began to crawl up the page.
The traversal of the droplets wasn’t smooth, wasn’t a rolling. They jerked upward in spurs—they forked, like lightning. They crept laterally, then cut upward again, the spastic scribbling of an unseen hand. Lyle became aware that his body was rigid, his breath held, his eyes dry and pained, he stared unblinking. Sweat stood out on the crenellations of his widow’s peak, his acne-scarred brow. His ruptured sinus oozed, his sleeve was warm and sodden. The bloodbolts reached the inexplicable white gap. Swirled into the emptiness. Beneath the Word the blood swirled. It arranged itself.
It formed shapes.
It formed letters.
Lyle had made a sound, then, something between a sob and a laugh and a scream—
—snakebit it’s a snakebit sound—
*—*rupturing the stillness, a harsh throaty sound, reeding through the library, and then he clapped the book shut and fled.
“But I didn’t drop it, did I?” he asked the green numerals. They showed 4:07AM. Time always slid, on sleepless nights. He thought it one of their worst qualities.
“I ran. I ran from it*.* But my hands… my hands wouldn’t let it go.”
Lyle sat up in bed. Only when the sheets peeled away from his back did he realize he was perspiring. He stripped the damp bedclothes and shambled across the room, to his small closet. He bent to his hamper, deposited the sheets inside, closed the latch with a discrete click. He took a fresh button-up and crisp slacks down from their hangers, and he began to dress.
#
Lyle barely heard as the starter of his aging Acura chugged, and whinnied, and finally caught. He floated across town, the CD player in the dash resumed Rachmaninov’s Prelude in C sharp minor, the volume hovered at the bottom edge of audibility. It did not pierce the veil of Lyle’s exhaustion. His memory, the vision of the mounting blood, felt unreal. The marine layer had rolled in with the night’s cool, heightening the strangeness. Occasionally headlights swam up out of the fog, the vague shapes of alien drivers flickered and were gone. Lyle had passed through a membrane—*a glass, darkly—*and everything normal was rendered strange, as though the laws underpinning the universe had grown suddenly elastic. His fatigue coupled with the new fact of the Word to cast a surreal pall over the familiar streets. He wondered, at each car he passed, about the journey of the driver. Was it possible that just beneath the frequency of his attention there was a whole world of men on grim, predawn errands? Men confronting mad and impossible things, men fallen through unsuspected cracks in their comfortable facade? And just where in the wild blue fuck had it come from?
Lyle made it, not without difficulty, to the faculty lot. He parked askew—someone’s sure to bitch about that he thought, and tittered*—*and walked his scuttling walk across the plaza toward the Humanities complex, fumbling for his keycard. His footsteps seemed to echo off of nothing but haze. The fog encroached, he felt as though it watched him.
His office was a shabby, cramped afterthought on the fourth floor. He turned the bolt behind him as he entered, resting his weary head against the door. He thumped it, once—his forehead, that is—against the wood. He crossed to his chair, the brown faux leather cracked and peeling, and sat heavily. The office was cheaply appointed, but pristine. No tchotchkes or personal touches were in evidence, with the exception of some of Lyle’s own (stark, black-and-white) photography. The book he had found, the impossible book, was not alphabetized on his shelves with the others. It sat alone. Nothing shared, with it, the small rolling side-desk, which Lyle pulled to himself. He reached for the book, heart pounding, hands tremoring. He breathed deeply, closed his eyes. Mastered himself. By and by, the shaking passed. He opened his eyes to look, again, upon the Word.
First there’s fear, of course there’s fear, but then... but then....
Then, perhaps, there was room for curiosity. He had found this thing, this extraordinary thing, or perhaps, just possibly…
“It found me. Maybe it was--meant. For me.”
And if it were, that might make it—would make it—the first thing, the first special thing, that had ever been meant, for Lyle Hereford, Ph.D. He opened the book, the tremor in his hands barely perceptible, now. He sought out the Ag’s—aglow, aglist, aglitter—and found them easily enough. He stared, eyes bulging, straining, at the page.
The Word was gone.
Nothing. No fractal X’s and Y’s, no phantom space, no broken line. Smooth, black column inches, the rhythms of the dictionary, nothing out of place.
“No—no, no, no—” Lyle flipped the page, aggressively, almost tearing it from the binding, another, another, flipped them, faster and faster, scanning, rapidly scanning, seeking white space.
“No, fuck you, no, it was here, you were just here, I didn’t imagine you you cocksucker come back here and talk to me— “
He flipped forward, the opposite direction, toward the front of the fascicle, when he felt something under the pad of his thumb. It was—a shift in the texture, a vibration—a definite, awful, sly little movement. He felt the thing change, somehow. Lyle froze. He held perfectly still—*snake, snake in my hands, subtle subtle snake—*then he slid his thumb, just his thumb, the tiniest hair, a fraction of an inch, over the page-ends. Rasped his thumb, along the margin of the book. *Something, there’s something, right there—*he rasped again. Felt it. Toward the back. A water-damaged page. Lyle seized on it, almost eagerly, letting the book part around it. It stood up like a cowlick. He pressed it carefully down, closed his eyes. Lyle felt a curious swirl of anxiety and hope. He was afraid. Afraid to see it again.
He needed to see it again. He needed to know.
He opened his eyes. He scanned the page, now, a completely different section of the fascicle. Amputee, ampyx, amrel, amrita, amry, amsel. Faster, faster…
There.
Crowded into the bottom-right corner. An empty, white space. Above it, a Word.
A different Word.
This one began with an LN, and to the litany of Y’s had been added double-Us. The same layout: no explicatory text below, nothing else. The single, unpronounceable Word.
“There you are,” Lyle whispered. He turned to his computer, felt for the green button along the back of his monitor, pressed it. He thumbed the spacebar on his keyboard. The desktop awoke mid a staccato burst of tiny electronic clicks, followed by the usual cheery synth-tone. Lyle set a yellow legal pad on his lap, popped the well-chewed end of a mechanical pencil into his mouth, clenched it between his teeth. He tugged open a gray metal desk drawer, hideous and utilitarian, pawed around inside until he found what he wanted, closed it again. He turned back to the Word.
“Tell me a secret,” he said. His voice was queerly pitched, hollow. He hardly recognized it. He held up the small object taken from his desk, held it up above the page, showed it to the Word. It was a pushpin. Tell me. Lyle pricked the ball of his middle finger, blood welled into a fat bead. He turned his hand over, held the blood above the white, watched it distend, watched it fall. This time there was no lightning, no crawl. This time it sizzled, as though he had dropped it on a skillet. It sizzled, bubbled, on the white, then separated, it raised blood-red letters below the Word. Characters. This time, Lyle was ready.
It’s Attic Greek, he realized. The characters stood out in the elegant script of the Septuagint, the language of Alexander the Great. The language that, at one time, had conquered the world, and had later been conquered in turn. A language of emperors, and of slaves. Lyle sucked on his bleeding finger as he hunched over the legal pad, copying out the unfamiliar letters:
ύπνος
It was a matter of a few moments to download a keyboard for ancient Greek characters on the desktop. A few more to pull up Google, find a translator widget, and hunt-and-peck his way to the answer. The cursor blinked beside the translation. The word beneath the Word, the Greek extraction written in blood, fat and placid and banal:
sleep
Lyle felt a flush of disappointment. He had expected something, he realized. Some kernel of an answer. The name of a daemon, or of a god. A celestial body, perhaps. And why Greek? If it was printed in the nineteenth century, printed in English in the nineteenth century? Lyle turned back to the fascicle but the blood was gone. He brushed a cautious knuckle across the white gap and found it dry.
Thirsty, he thought. You feel thirsty.
The language of Alexander, and of Oedipus Rex, and of Aristotle. He considered the Word. Sleep. A definition? Was the book itself carrying some kind of, what, repository, fragments of a lost language, preserved by some oblique arcana? The work of a secret society, or a cult? Some Rosicrucian gimmickry? He looked down at the white space, the secret-keeping space, awakened by blood. Considered, again, the crooked syllables, the LM, the double-X, the Y’s and double-U’s.
Sleep.
Sleep was a word with a certain beauty. Especially for the chronic insomniac. A beauty and a kind of longing. Sleep. The LM, the double-X, the Y’s and the double-U’s. Strange, riotous Word.
“Sleep is a beautiful word.” Lyly was unaware that he had spoken aloud. The LM, the double-X, in the middle, the double-X. It occurred to him that this Word, too, was beautiful.
Beautiful and possessed of a kind of interior sense, Lyle realized. A kind of logic. When you think about it.
The double-X, a kind of sluggish, sloughing sound in the middle. A collapse, to link the long consonants, as if the effort of producing the Word were too much for one’s throat, all at once. The LM, the double-X, the double-U’s. Lyle opened his mouth, still unaware. The Word intensified, in his field of vision, came into a sharp focus. The rest of the page somehow fell around it. Lyle wondered if he was being hypnotized. There was no more color in the world, he knew how to say the Word, the Word was teaching him, patiently, to say it, he opened his mouth not knowing and he said the Word that meant Sleep and—
#
Lyle awoke on the floor of his office. He shook his head, once, experimentally. He winced—his left temple was sore; a bruise was coming on.
Did I fall? Black out? The fascicle was still on his side-desk. It was closed, now. His computer was dark and quiet, hibernating. All at once he remembered—*oh, my God—*it wasn’t a definition or a repository or a code—
“It’s a command,” he croaked, his voice husky in the stillness. Everything clicked, almost audibly, like tumblers turning in his head. It was a command, and that made the book something else, that made the book something very much else indeed, oh, oh God, that makes it something else.
What time is it? The sun hadn’t risen, the streetlights still slanted through his shitty, frail blinds. Traffic had picked up though, he could hear it outside, and he felt—incredible, I feel incredible—fine, other than the bump on his noggin and a few cricks in his shoulders, his neck, Lyle felt like a million bucks. He pawed at his phone. He carried it in his front-left pocket, and if he had fallen on it it might have—
The phone showed 9:44PM. He had slept, all right. He ran the math. He had been at his desk, it had been maybe five thirty…
It put me to sleep for sixteen hours? Lyle have never slept that long in his life, to the best of his knowledge*.* It was enough to make him want to weep. He’d been just an anxious little bedwetter when his long war against insomnia began, and the notion of simply saying a Word, a beautiful Word, and dropping off like a stone—
He crossed to his office door, turned the bolt. Opened it. A sticky-note was affixed to the outside:
Dr. L, wasn’t able to get ahold of you today, hope you feel better. Walked the class through Act III, reiterated their assignments re: Marlowe comparison & cut them loose, will check in tomorrow first thing.
It was James’s fluid cursive. Even his penmanship was pretty*.*
Lyle turned his attention back to the fascicle. He picked it up carefully, reverently. He felt a surge of glee, an unbridled joy at the power in his hands. When he closed his eyes he could still see the sleep-Word, the constellation of unwieldy letters stood out bright and vivid. His heart raced with the implications of his discovery—something else something else it’s something else—
The term Grimoire drifted hazily across his consciousness.
He rasped his thumb along the margins and felt immediately the bristle of the damaged page, somewhere in the center. He held the book upright and let it fall open, the single page left standing. He smoothed it carefully down. He looked upon the book.
The empty white stood out easily, in the center column, the exact mid-point. Above it was yet another Word, this one shorter, beginning with an A and three O’s, a sound meant to be moaned. Lyle rummaged for another push-pin in his desk. He pricked his ring-finger, this time—*spread the love, I might be doing this a lot—*and smeared a sizzling patina of blood onto the white paper. The red letters formed on the page, he couldn’t wait for them, he was greedy for them—
That isn’t Greek, Lyle realized. The new Word was explicated in a much more familiar—and, curiously, more recent—tongue. The new Word was translated in Latin.
libido
Was the first Word I saw translated into Greek? he wondered. When I ran from the library, from the blood, the first time, were those Greek letters? He couldn’t be sure, it had happened so quickly, and hysteria warped the memory.
He couldn’t be sure, no. But he didn’t think so.
“Libido,” he pronounced into the quiet of the office. “Lust. Desire.” He stood there a long moment, lost in thought. Finally he reached beneath his desk and pulled out a slender leather briefcase. He wouldn’t leave it at the office again, not—
Not knowing what it can do.
He placed the fascicle inside, locked the briefcase, and killed the grating fluorescents overhead. As he left the office he crumpled James’s sticky note in his fist and let it fall.
CONTINUED IN PT. 2:
https://www.reddit.com/Horror_stories/comments/13wyq9j/ghost_word_pt_2/
submitted by JonathanRedding to Horror_stories [link] [comments]
WARNING: This story contains depictions of non-consensual sex and gun violence.
GHOST WORD
By Jonathan Redding
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ghost word
1. (noun) A previously unknown word appearing in a dictionary or list of words, often by error--but sometimes by design.
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Lyle Hereford laid there, slick and frightened, and thought about the Word.
He rolled his head to the right, to the nightstand beside his narrow bed, saw the flat green numerals pronounce it 3:17AM. On another night he might have thought of the Gospel According to John, at that hour, or more obscurely, of the Weird Sisters, of the Walpurgisnacht. Sleeplessness was a condition of his pinched, brittle being*.* Tonight he lay there sweating, insomnia buzzing in his thighs, his hamstrings. The inevitable heartburn seethed in his concave chest, and he thought about the Word.
The Word was not with him.
He thought about it sitting, inert, on the small rolling desk, in his office, across the city. Thought about the urban glow, blotting out the stars, seeping in the window, slanting though the low-bid venetian blinds the first contractors must have installed and none of those cheap bastards at the University ever bothered to replace, the blinds that always tear at their thin top fixtures, that Lyle mends with tight sleeves of Scotch tape. He thought about the city’s ambient nightlight seeping in, and falling, across the side desk, across the Word. He thought about the binding. Cream, once, probably, soft and blameless. Faded to no-color, now. An old traveler. But what was it? And how had it come to be there? How did it come to rest on that shelf, that groaning, overburdened, mid-century plank?
Lyle imagined someone slipping into the library, furtive, mounting the stair, the tome swinging against them, tucked in a messenger bag. Some faceless someone, head down, hood up, sunglasses in the dim. Lyle pictured them skirting around the encyclopedias and the medieval histories and bypassing the long rows of technical manuals and the corridors of Euclidean geometry and enzymology and theoretical economics and arriving at the neglected, quaint, neat rows of purest Reference: the Dictionaries.
Lyle had gone to consult the Oxford English Dictionary. Specifically the 1989 Second Edition, magnificent in twenty volumes; a tool with which he insisted each of his students familiarize themselves. On this day he had sought out the second volume specifically, the one beginning with B.B.C.
James, that young Turk, had challenged his interpretation of a passage of Taming of the Shrew. It turned on the etymology of the word bonnie.
Tried to score off me, in front of the whole class, that smug little prick.
James, graduate student par excellence. James of the falling black hair, perpetually obscuring his face, terminating above his perfect smile. James who was such a favorite among the bouncing, giggling undergraduates. James who found it easy to excel, in any environment, who found it very difficult to accept Lyle’s criticisms, Lyle’s guidance. James was many things Lyle was not, had never been, and Lyle knew it. But James had not yet learned to survive in academia. James was going to discover that you did not score points off Lyle Hereford, Ph.D., and Lyle would see to it that it happened painfully. In the town square, as it were. It would have to be just a touch humiliating.
`Darby, especially, Lyle thought. She has to see it. Yes. Just the right amount of condescension to really cut into him, to make it memorable.
Only Lyle never found his ammunition in the second volume beginning with B.B.C. because his interest was diverted. He never queried the etymology of bonnie in the compressed italics of lexicalese, never perused the examples from John Donne and Sir Thomas Aquinas and the Cursor Mundi behind their truncated century marks, because something else caught his eye. Something that shouldn’t have been there. Tucked in between the seventh and eighth volumes (Interval and Look, respectively, he knew) was a tattered book, somewhere in the neighborhood of a hundred pages, grayed to nothing, the color of a shroud. Lyle reached down, placed his index finger atop the book’s spine, and drew it from the shelf. He gave it a cursory glance—the cover lettering had been savaged by time, but fragments of the lower half survived:
PART A—ANT
#
OXFO D
1877
“What in the world,” Lyle said. The library swallowed the sound, took it into the mute stillness of itself, into its hush. What he held in his hands was not genuine—could not be genuine. The original OED was printed like this, piecemeal, in what were called fascicles.
But not this soon, God, not this soon! They hadn’t even started!
The first fascicle of the OED, the very first product of their seventy-year odyssey, the publication that made the London philologia realize they had bit off quite a bit more than they could chew, was designated A-Ant. It was a rare bird, a thing to be coveted. It was valuable.
It was first printed in 1884.
Lyle had always thought it a clever, tiny nod of Orwell’s, lost to the mass of readers: that the OED should rule for a century, before Newspeak replaced it. This, then, if it was what it purported to be, what the front cover claimed it to be, was early. Seven whole years early.
A misprint, he thought. Has to be. That would change the valuation—this could be one-of-a-kind. Not that Lyle would dream of selling such a book. Before this moment, he wouldn’t even have allowed himself to dream of holding such a book. He checked for a barcode, a borrower’s card. He found neither. What is it DOING here?
He had let it fall open at random, there, among the stacks, a single water-damaged page stood up like a cowlick, he gingerly pressed it flat. The type within was much more preserved than the weathered front-plating. He scanned, gliding over the forms: aglist, aglitter, aglomerular, aglopened, aglossal, aglow-
That was when he had seen the Word.
Though it wasn’t the Word itself, that had drawn his attention. It was the empty white, beneath it. The dictionary game was all about spatial economy. Column inches and abbreviations. In forty-seven years of nebbish quietude, forty-seven years of slow vanishing into a wilderness of text, Lyle Hereford, Ph.D., had never encountered empty white space in the body of a dictionary. Thus, first, the white. Then he had looked above it.
The Word did not begin with the letter “A”.
The Word did not conform to any structural schema that Lyle recognized. There was no easily discernible root in the Romance lineage, nor the Germanic, nor even the primordial Oriental or Sanskrit Anglicizations which the casual peruser of the Mahabharata or of Patanjali’s Sutras might intuitively place. The Word began with the character “X”, and proceeded from there to a feral enjambment of consonants and choked, almost Hebraic “Y’s”. It possessed no other vowels. Merely the Word, this strange word, had greeted Lyle. No origin, pronunciation, part-of-speech. No definition. Merely the Word, and the white beneath, there in the stacks.
Lyle brushed his thumb across the Word. Looking back, now, he couldn’t really say why. It was the sort of automatic, immediate impulse that you don’t question until it’s complete. It came over him like a yawn. He felt the thin whisper of the paper beneath his skin, he traced the Word from its first syllable to its eighth and final and
“FUCK— “
A kind of WRETCH, a spasm, behind his eyes, within his temples, his core, the cilia of his inner ears. His stomach flopped over queasily in his abdomen and he clenched his ass, just ahead of a hot dart of pressure, a hot sharp dart of pressure, gas and a tincture of liquid, a foul egg smell, he fought to hold it—
“fuckfuckfuck— “
Tremoring in his calves, his whole body strained, the feeble musculature flared from his neck, his weak chin pressed down and his gorge rose. Warm coppery blood pattered and trickled over his lips. Lyle’s nose was bleeding. The fit—whatever it was—began to pass, and Lyle looked down through watering eyes to the object in his hands.
“What in the Christ-?”
The library remained silent, the book remained still, the Word remained inscrutable. He noticed the spatter, low on the page, of his blood, obscuring the column inches, smearing over agnathous. He gathered up a shirt cuff in his hand, squeezed it to his nose—*that’s never coming out—*and awkwardly sat, pooling the book in his lap. He reached down with his other cuff to dab at the page, mitigate the damage. That is when, Lyle now thought, he may have gone mad.
The beads of blood began to crawl up the page.
The traversal of the droplets wasn’t smooth, wasn’t a rolling. They jerked upward in spurs—they forked, like lightning. They crept laterally, then cut upward again, the spastic scribbling of an unseen hand. Lyle became aware that his body was rigid, his breath held, his eyes dry and pained, he stared unblinking. Sweat stood out on the crenellations of his widow’s peak, his acne-scarred brow. His ruptured sinus oozed, his sleeve was warm and sodden. The bloodbolts reached the inexplicable white gap. Swirled into the emptiness. Beneath the Word the blood swirled. It arranged itself.
It formed shapes.
It formed letters.
Lyle had made a sound, then, something between a sob and a laugh and a scream—
—snakebit it’s a snakebit sound—
*—*rupturing the stillness, a harsh throaty sound, reeding through the library, and then he clapped the book shut and fled.
“But I didn’t drop it, did I?” he asked the green numerals. They showed 4:07AM. Time always slid, on sleepless nights. He thought it one of their worst qualities.
“I ran. I ran from it*.* But my hands… my hands wouldn’t let it go.”
Lyle sat up in bed. Only when the sheets peeled away from his back did he realize he was perspiring. He stripped the damp bedclothes and shambled across the room, to his small closet. He bent to his hamper, deposited the sheets inside, closed the latch with a discrete click. He took a fresh button-up and crisp slacks down from their hangers, and he began to dress.
#
Lyle barely heard as the starter of his aging Acura chugged, and whinnied, and finally caught. He floated across town, the CD player in the dash resumed Rachmaninov’s Prelude in C sharp minor, the volume hovered at the bottom edge of audibility. It did not pierce the veil of Lyle’s exhaustion. His memory, the vision of the mounting blood, felt unreal. The marine layer had rolled in with the night’s cool, heightening the strangeness. Occasionally headlights swam up out of the fog, the vague shapes of alien drivers flickered and were gone. Lyle had passed through a membrane—*a glass, darkly—*and everything normal was rendered strange, as though the laws underpinning the universe had grown suddenly elastic. His fatigue coupled with the new fact of the Word to cast a surreal pall over the familiar streets. He wondered, at each car he passed, about the journey of the driver. Was it possible that just beneath the frequency of his attention there was a whole world of men on grim, predawn errands? Men confronting mad and impossible things, men fallen through unsuspected cracks in their comfortable facade? And just where in the wild blue fuck had it come from?
Lyle made it, not without difficulty, to the faculty lot. He parked askew—someone’s sure to bitch about that he thought, and tittered*—*and walked his scuttling walk across the plaza toward the Humanities complex, fumbling for his keycard. His footsteps seemed to echo off of nothing but haze. The fog encroached, he felt as though it watched him.
His office was a shabby, cramped afterthought on the fourth floor. He turned the bolt behind him as he entered, resting his weary head against the door. He thumped it, once—his forehead, that is—against the wood. He crossed to his chair, the brown faux leather cracked and peeling, and sat heavily. The office was cheaply appointed, but pristine. No tchotchkes or personal touches were in evidence, with the exception of some of Lyle’s own (stark, black-and-white) photography. The book he had found, the impossible book, was not alphabetized on his shelves with the others. It sat alone. Nothing shared, with it, the small rolling side-desk, which Lyle pulled to himself. He reached for the book, heart pounding, hands tremoring. He breathed deeply, closed his eyes. Mastered himself. By and by, the shaking passed. He opened his eyes to look, again, upon the Word.
First there’s fear, of course there’s fear, but then... but then....
Then, perhaps, there was room for curiosity. He had found this thing, this extraordinary thing, or perhaps, just possibly…
“It found me. Maybe it was--meant. For me.”
And if it were, that might make it—would make it—the first thing, the first special thing, that had ever been meant, for Lyle Hereford, Ph.D. He opened the book, the tremor in his hands barely perceptible, now. He sought out the Ag’s—aglow, aglist, aglitter—and found them easily enough. He stared, eyes bulging, straining, at the page.
The Word was gone.
Nothing. No fractal X’s and Y’s, no phantom space, no broken line. Smooth, black column inches, the rhythms of the dictionary, nothing out of place.
“No—no, no, no—” Lyle flipped the page, aggressively, almost tearing it from the binding, another, another, flipped them, faster and faster, scanning, rapidly scanning, seeking white space.
“No, fuck you, no, it was here, you were just here, I didn’t imagine you you cocksucker come back here and talk to me— “
He flipped forward, the opposite direction, toward the front of the fascicle, when he felt something under the pad of his thumb. It was—a shift in the texture, a vibration—a definite, awful, sly little movement. He felt the thing change, somehow. Lyle froze. He held perfectly still—*snake, snake in my hands, subtle subtle snake—*then he slid his thumb, just his thumb, the tiniest hair, a fraction of an inch, over the page-ends. Rasped his thumb, along the margin of the book. *Something, there’s something, right there—*he rasped again. Felt it. Toward the back. A water-damaged page. Lyle seized on it, almost eagerly, letting the book part around it. It stood up like a cowlick. He pressed it carefully down, closed his eyes. Lyle felt a curious swirl of anxiety and hope. He was afraid. Afraid to see it again.
He needed to see it again. He needed to know.
He opened his eyes. He scanned the page, now, a completely different section of the fascicle. Amputee, ampyx, amrel, amrita, amry, amsel. Faster, faster…
There.
Crowded into the bottom-right corner. An empty, white space. Above it, a Word.
A different Word.
This one began with an LN, and to the litany of Y’s had been added double-Us. The same layout: no explicatory text below, nothing else. The single, unpronounceable Word.
“There you are,” Lyle whispered. He turned to his computer, felt for the green button along the back of his monitor, pressed it. He thumbed the spacebar on his keyboard. The desktop awoke mid a staccato burst of tiny electronic clicks, followed by the usual cheery synth-tone. Lyle set a yellow legal pad on his lap, popped the well-chewed end of a mechanical pencil into his mouth, clenched it between his teeth. He tugged open a gray metal desk drawer, hideous and utilitarian, pawed around inside until he found what he wanted, closed it again. He turned back to the Word.
“Tell me a secret,” he said. His voice was queerly pitched, hollow. He hardly recognized it. He held up the small object taken from his desk, held it up above the page, showed it to the Word. It was a pushpin. Tell me. Lyle pricked the ball of his middle finger, blood welled into a fat bead. He turned his hand over, held the blood above the white, watched it distend, watched it fall. This time there was no lightning, no crawl. This time it sizzled, as though he had dropped it on a skillet. It sizzled, bubbled, on the white, then separated, it raised blood-red letters below the Word. Characters. This time, Lyle was ready.
It’s Attic Greek, he realized. The characters stood out in the elegant script of the Septuagint, the language of Alexander the Great. The language that, at one time, had conquered the world, and had later been conquered in turn. A language of emperors, and of slaves. Lyle sucked on his bleeding finger as he hunched over the legal pad, copying out the unfamiliar letters:
ύπνος
It was a matter of a few moments to download a keyboard for ancient Greek characters on the desktop. A few more to pull up Google, find a translator widget, and hunt-and-peck his way to the answer. The cursor blinked beside the translation. The word beneath the Word, the Greek extraction written in blood, fat and placid and banal:
sleep
Lyle felt a flush of disappointment. He had expected something, he realized. Some kernel of an answer. The name of a daemon, or of a god. A celestial body, perhaps. And why Greek? If it was printed in the nineteenth century, printed in English in the nineteenth century? Lyle turned back to the fascicle but the blood was gone. He brushed a cautious knuckle across the white gap and found it dry.
Thirsty, he thought. You feel thirsty.
The language of Alexander, and of Oedipus Rex, and of Aristotle. He considered the Word. Sleep. A definition? Was the book itself carrying some kind of, what, repository, fragments of a lost language, preserved by some oblique arcana? The work of a secret society, or a cult? Some Rosicrucian gimmickry? He looked down at the white space, the secret-keeping space, awakened by blood. Considered, again, the crooked syllables, the LM, the double-X, the Y’s and double-U’s.
Sleep.
Sleep was a word with a certain beauty. Especially for the chronic insomniac. A beauty and a kind of longing. Sleep. The LM, the double-X, the Y’s and the double-U’s. Strange, riotous Word.
“Sleep is a beautiful word.” Lyly was unaware that he had spoken aloud. The LM, the double-X, in the middle, the double-X. It occurred to him that this Word, too, was beautiful.
Beautiful and possessed of a kind of interior sense, Lyle realized. A kind of logic. When you think about it.
The double-X, a kind of sluggish, sloughing sound in the middle. A collapse, to link the long consonants, as if the effort of producing the Word were too much for one’s throat, all at once. The LM, the double-X, the double-U’s. Lyle opened his mouth, still unaware. The Word intensified, in his field of vision, came into a sharp focus. The rest of the page somehow fell around it. Lyle wondered if he was being hypnotized. There was no more color in the world, he knew how to say the Word, the Word was teaching him, patiently, to say it, he opened his mouth not knowing and he said the Word that meant Sleep and—
#
Lyle awoke on the floor of his office. He shook his head, once, experimentally. He winced—his left temple was sore; a bruise was coming on.
Did I fall? Black out? The fascicle was still on his side-desk. It was closed, now. His computer was dark and quiet, hibernating. All at once he remembered—*oh, my God—*it wasn’t a definition or a repository or a code—
“It’s a command,” he croaked, his voice husky in the stillness. Everything clicked, almost audibly, like tumblers turning in his head. It was a command, and that made the book something else, that made the book something very much else indeed, oh, oh God, that makes it something else.
What time is it? The sun hadn’t risen, the streetlights still slanted through his shitty, frail blinds. Traffic had picked up though, he could hear it outside, and he felt—incredible, I feel incredible—fine, other than the bump on his noggin and a few cricks in his shoulders, his neck, Lyle felt like a million bucks. He pawed at his phone. He carried it in his front-left pocket, and if he had fallen on it it might have—
The phone showed 9:44PM. He had slept, all right. He ran the math. He had been at his desk, it had been maybe five thirty…
It put me to sleep for sixteen hours? Lyle have never slept that long in his life, to the best of his knowledge*.* It was enough to make him want to weep. He’d been just an anxious little bedwetter when his long war against insomnia began, and the notion of simply saying a Word, a beautiful Word, and dropping off like a stone—
He crossed to his office door, turned the bolt. Opened it. A sticky-note was affixed to the outside:
Dr. L, wasn’t able to get ahold of you today, hope you feel better. Walked the class through Act III, reiterated their assignments re: Marlowe comparison & cut them loose, will check in tomorrow first thing.
It was James’s fluid cursive. Even his penmanship was pretty*.*
Lyle turned his attention back to the fascicle. He picked it up carefully, reverently. He felt a surge of glee, an unbridled joy at the power in his hands. When he closed his eyes he could still see the sleep-Word, the constellation of unwieldy letters stood out bright and vivid. His heart raced with the implications of his discovery—something else something else it’s something else—
The term Grimoire drifted hazily across his consciousness.
He rasped his thumb along the margins and felt immediately the bristle of the damaged page, somewhere in the center. He held the book upright and let it fall open, the single page left standing. He smoothed it carefully down. He looked upon the book.
The empty white stood out easily, in the center column, the exact mid-point. Above it was yet another Word, this one shorter, beginning with an A and three O’s, a sound meant to be moaned. Lyle rummaged for another push-pin in his desk. He pricked his ring-finger, this time—*spread the love, I might be doing this a lot—*and smeared a sizzling patina of blood onto the white paper. The red letters formed on the page, he couldn’t wait for them, he was greedy for them—
That isn’t Greek, Lyle realized. The new Word was explicated in a much more familiar—and, curiously, more recent—tongue. The new Word was translated in Latin.
libido
Was the first Word I saw translated into Greek? he wondered. When I ran from the library, from the blood, the first time, were those Greek letters? He couldn’t be sure, it had happened so quickly, and hysteria warped the memory.
He couldn’t be sure, no. But he didn’t think so.
“Libido,” he pronounced into the quiet of the office. “Lust. Desire.” He stood there a long moment, lost in thought. Finally he reached beneath his desk and pulled out a slender leather briefcase. He wouldn’t leave it at the office again, not—
Not knowing what it can do.
He placed the fascicle inside, locked the briefcase, and killed the grating fluorescents overhead. As he left the office he crumpled James’s sticky note in his fist and let it fall.
CONTINUED IN PT. 2:
https://www.reddit.com/Horror_stories/comments/13wyq9j/ghost_word_pt_2/
2023.05.31 23:24 DonJuanMair Recent Images for a new restaurant here in Vegas - Cathédrale - Aria Hotel
 | submitted by DonJuanMair to SonyAlpha [link] [comments] |
2023.05.31 23:15 PashinNoActin Comparing myself to others in regard to sobriety of many things
For some reason in regards to any sobriety (marijuana, alcohol, junk food, masturbation, etc.) I always feel in competition when I hear about others who don't indulge.
Like, even though I don't smoke or drink when I hear about close friends who stopped or cut back significantly I feel like I can't ever indulge myself ever again just to keep some sort of "higher streak" in my mind. I feel like if I ever decided to get drunk I would get looked down upon by anyone I know who has cut back, or has quit entirely; especially the idea of being the only friend you does those things would bother me... like I can't live my life for myself.
Similar stuff has happened when friends mentioned their dislike of junk food, them doing nofap, and I'm sure other non-substance-related things. Part of me feels like it has to do with me missing an era of me and my friend's activity, but also feeling looked down by their sobriety even though I am sober myself.
Sorry if I was a bit confusing, this stuff gets me depressed and I feel like I can't word it well. The last thing I want is for anyone to fall back into a bad cycle. I guess the potential of being looked down for various (potential) activities like drinking gets me bothered, or feeling like I shouldn't because I am failing some made-up competition.
submitted by PashinNoActin to selfimprovement [link] [comments]
Like, even though I don't smoke or drink when I hear about close friends who stopped or cut back significantly I feel like I can't ever indulge myself ever again just to keep some sort of "higher streak" in my mind. I feel like if I ever decided to get drunk I would get looked down upon by anyone I know who has cut back, or has quit entirely; especially the idea of being the only friend you does those things would bother me... like I can't live my life for myself.
Similar stuff has happened when friends mentioned their dislike of junk food, them doing nofap, and I'm sure other non-substance-related things. Part of me feels like it has to do with me missing an era of me and my friend's activity, but also feeling looked down by their sobriety even though I am sober myself.
Sorry if I was a bit confusing, this stuff gets me depressed and I feel like I can't word it well. The last thing I want is for anyone to fall back into a bad cycle. I guess the potential of being looked down for various (potential) activities like drinking gets me bothered, or feeling like I shouldn't because I am failing some made-up competition.
2023.05.31 23:14 Tanen7 Infinite loading screen
I’m getting an infinite loading screen and I’m not sure why. I’ve used all the mods in this LO over the last couple of days. The newest mods are
Simple workaround framework
Ausrenias mixed hair pack
Dying world lite
Penitus oculatus
And I updated the latest version jayserpas which needed the workaround framework but both were working previously.
I have CC content disabled and it has been in my LO but I’m not sure if that with the combination of the mentioned mods might be causing an issue.
I disabled and deleted all the mods and reloaded them and the same thing. So I have deleted all save and storage but I can’t download anything to test it right now. I tried but when I attempted to download USSEP it just stayed queuing until it timed out.
MASTER FILES:
Ussep
Simple workaround framework
Reforging to the masses
Slawf (green)
Vanilla script micro
Lightened Skyrim complete
Serpentine dragons
FOUNDATIONS/NEW GAME MECHANICS:
Cheat room
Character creation overhaul
Rass shader and effects
MENUS, USER INTERFACE, FONT CHANGES
Evolving value economy
ScryUI-beggars can’t be choosers
EXISTING QUEST ALTERATIONS
Civil war quest immersion bundle
PURE CRAFTABLES
Anathemastudio elf ears
Travelers backpack
EXISTING GAME MECHANICS
Recyclr 515b
Violens
LEVEL PROGRESSION
PERK OVERHAULS
Vokriinator w/ mysticism ESP
Better magicka
Magic lights of radiance
Frozen electrocuted combustion
MAGIC ADDITIONS AND OVERHAULS
ITEM AND LOOT LEVELED LIST
cloaks and capes 1k optimized
Blanket scarf earth tones
Blanket scarf earth tones-leveled lists
Bandoliers, bags and pouches
Bandoliers B+P-NPC edition C&Capes
Rich merchants
Glass blades-glass swords Gswords
RttM weapon balance
EXISTING ENEMY SPAWN/NPC EDITS
The old gods
No random dragons
A side order of dragons
A aperitif of dragon priests
Ice titans
Better animals
Skyrim belongs to the nords-bandit edition
Immersive patrols
Immersive patrols simplified
ENEMY NPC LEVELED LISTS
AUDIO
Audio fx overhaul-no voices,water
Talkative dragons
Silent bards
WEATHEATMOSPHERE
Elden scrolls weather
Volumetric mists
Cathedral presets
Wonders of weather
GRASS MODS
Veydosebrom regions
LANDSCAPE AND GRASS FIXES
Landscape fixes for grass mods
Slawf patch-landscape fixes
Remove misc flora
SKIN MESH AND TEXTURES, SKELETON
Ethereal elven overhaul
Jarls complete character overhaul lite
XPMSSE
Unp body white bikini no texture
IDLES AND ANIMATIONS
NPC animation remix
Verolevi animation aio
Leviathan animations female
Relaxed sneak animations
EAD every attack different
Smoother walk
GENERAL MESH AND TEXTURES
SOT redid smim
Slawf patch smim
Skyland aio
Real wood textures-farmhouses
New dirt roads
Variations clothing
Vaultmans clothing replacer
amidianborn-skyrad extended cut
Fot4E
Practical armors
Bandoliers, bags, pouches/Fot4E patch
NWUA armor variants
NWUA race armor replacer
Unplayable factions
Sons of Skyrim 1k/512 replacer version
New legion redux
Wolven armor replacer
Bellyaches textures chaotic
Savrenx solstheim creatures
Amidianborn creatures
Cozy giants
Believable weapons(sheathed great wpns)
Better shaped bows of the heavens
Elsopas quivers redone
Natural forces dry
Embers HD-Ussep
Enhanced blood textures
NPC AI
AI overhaul non scripted non ussep
Lydia character overhaul 7k
Serana expanded-dialogue add on
NPC/ PC immersion
Visible favorite gear
Lightly populated settlements 31k
NPC/PC facial modifications
Ausrinea’s mixed hair pack
Vanilla hair remake
Ks hairdos lite lighter salt and wind
Salt and wind for vanilla fixes
Skyrim colors hair add on
Character editor aio
INTERIOR LIGHTING/ DECORATING
Smoking torches and candles
jKs interiors aio
jKs interiors AIO USSEP
JKs interiors AIO AI overhaul
LIGHT MULTIPLE EXTERIOR EDITS
Simplicity of snow
Icy mesh textures
SINGLE AREA EDITS
Great city of solitude
Great city of solitude patch
JKs Skyrim aio
JKs interiors AIO JKs Skyrim
JKs Skyrim AI overhaul
The great cities, towns, villages AI and JK
Stendarrs beacon
GT’s gardens of whiterun
Hunters cabin of riverwood
MULTIPLE AREA EDITS
TNF Skyrim house remodel
Missives
Ryns standing stones
Immersive fallen trees
Bridges of Skyrim
Dying world lite
Moss rocks
UNIQUE ITEMS ADDED TO LOCATIONS
Artefakes
COMBAT MODS
Smilodon combat
UNIQUE FOLLOWER MODS
QUEST MODS
Plenitus oculatus
Radiance radiant quests enhancer
More to say
MAP MODS
BOTTOM LO
Nature of the wild lands(small version)
Markarth overhaul
Markarth overhaul/NotW patch
Insignificant object remover
Disable free CC content
QOL and bug fix compilation
No respawn
Headtracking
Go to bed
Player blink fix
Quality cube maps optimized
Elden water
Natural waterfalls
RS children optimized- salt and wind
RS children/AI overhaul patch
At your own pace AIO
Jayserpa quest expansion bundle
At your own pace/jayserpa patch
Subsurface scattering
Alternate perspective
Improved performance
submitted by Tanen7 to SkyrimModsXbox [link] [comments]
Simple workaround framework
Ausrenias mixed hair pack
Dying world lite
Penitus oculatus
And I updated the latest version jayserpas which needed the workaround framework but both were working previously.
I have CC content disabled and it has been in my LO but I’m not sure if that with the combination of the mentioned mods might be causing an issue.
I disabled and deleted all the mods and reloaded them and the same thing. So I have deleted all save and storage but I can’t download anything to test it right now. I tried but when I attempted to download USSEP it just stayed queuing until it timed out.
MASTER FILES:
Ussep
Simple workaround framework
Reforging to the masses
Slawf (green)
Vanilla script micro
Lightened Skyrim complete
Serpentine dragons
FOUNDATIONS/NEW GAME MECHANICS:
Cheat room
Character creation overhaul
Rass shader and effects
MENUS, USER INTERFACE, FONT CHANGES
Evolving value economy
ScryUI-beggars can’t be choosers
EXISTING QUEST ALTERATIONS
Civil war quest immersion bundle
PURE CRAFTABLES
Anathemastudio elf ears
Travelers backpack
EXISTING GAME MECHANICS
Recyclr 515b
Violens
LEVEL PROGRESSION
PERK OVERHAULS
Vokriinator w/ mysticism ESP
Better magicka
Magic lights of radiance
Frozen electrocuted combustion
MAGIC ADDITIONS AND OVERHAULS
ITEM AND LOOT LEVELED LIST
cloaks and capes 1k optimized
Blanket scarf earth tones
Blanket scarf earth tones-leveled lists
Bandoliers, bags and pouches
Bandoliers B+P-NPC edition C&Capes
Rich merchants
Glass blades-glass swords Gswords
RttM weapon balance
EXISTING ENEMY SPAWN/NPC EDITS
The old gods
No random dragons
A side order of dragons
A aperitif of dragon priests
Ice titans
Better animals
Skyrim belongs to the nords-bandit edition
Immersive patrols
Immersive patrols simplified
ENEMY NPC LEVELED LISTS
AUDIO
Audio fx overhaul-no voices,water
Talkative dragons
Silent bards
WEATHEATMOSPHERE
Elden scrolls weather
Volumetric mists
Cathedral presets
Wonders of weather
GRASS MODS
Veydosebrom regions
LANDSCAPE AND GRASS FIXES
Landscape fixes for grass mods
Slawf patch-landscape fixes
Remove misc flora
SKIN MESH AND TEXTURES, SKELETON
Ethereal elven overhaul
Jarls complete character overhaul lite
XPMSSE
Unp body white bikini no texture
IDLES AND ANIMATIONS
NPC animation remix
Verolevi animation aio
Leviathan animations female
Relaxed sneak animations
EAD every attack different
Smoother walk
GENERAL MESH AND TEXTURES
SOT redid smim
Slawf patch smim
Skyland aio
Real wood textures-farmhouses
New dirt roads
Variations clothing
Vaultmans clothing replacer
amidianborn-skyrad extended cut
Fot4E
Practical armors
Bandoliers, bags, pouches/Fot4E patch
NWUA armor variants
NWUA race armor replacer
Unplayable factions
Sons of Skyrim 1k/512 replacer version
New legion redux
Wolven armor replacer
Bellyaches textures chaotic
Savrenx solstheim creatures
Amidianborn creatures
Cozy giants
Believable weapons(sheathed great wpns)
Better shaped bows of the heavens
Elsopas quivers redone
Natural forces dry
Embers HD-Ussep
Enhanced blood textures
NPC AI
AI overhaul non scripted non ussep
Lydia character overhaul 7k
Serana expanded-dialogue add on
NPC/ PC immersion
Visible favorite gear
Lightly populated settlements 31k
NPC/PC facial modifications
Ausrinea’s mixed hair pack
Vanilla hair remake
Ks hairdos lite lighter salt and wind
Salt and wind for vanilla fixes
Skyrim colors hair add on
Character editor aio
INTERIOR LIGHTING/ DECORATING
Smoking torches and candles
jKs interiors aio
jKs interiors AIO USSEP
JKs interiors AIO AI overhaul
LIGHT MULTIPLE EXTERIOR EDITS
Simplicity of snow
Icy mesh textures
SINGLE AREA EDITS
Great city of solitude
Great city of solitude patch
JKs Skyrim aio
JKs interiors AIO JKs Skyrim
JKs Skyrim AI overhaul
The great cities, towns, villages AI and JK
Stendarrs beacon
GT’s gardens of whiterun
Hunters cabin of riverwood
MULTIPLE AREA EDITS
TNF Skyrim house remodel
Missives
Ryns standing stones
Immersive fallen trees
Bridges of Skyrim
Dying world lite
Moss rocks
UNIQUE ITEMS ADDED TO LOCATIONS
Artefakes
COMBAT MODS
Smilodon combat
UNIQUE FOLLOWER MODS
QUEST MODS
Plenitus oculatus
Radiance radiant quests enhancer
More to say
MAP MODS
BOTTOM LO
Nature of the wild lands(small version)
Markarth overhaul
Markarth overhaul/NotW patch
Insignificant object remover
Disable free CC content
QOL and bug fix compilation
No respawn
Headtracking
Go to bed
Player blink fix
Quality cube maps optimized
Elden water
Natural waterfalls
RS children optimized- salt and wind
RS children/AI overhaul patch
At your own pace AIO
Jayserpa quest expansion bundle
At your own pace/jayserpa patch
Subsurface scattering
Alternate perspective
Improved performance
2023.05.31 23:13 Mizzery50 How do People in the First Nation Community feel about the practice of land acknowledgement on company/government website and email?
Hi, we are very curious about how People in the First Nation Community feel about the practice of land acknowledgement on company/government website and email? Especially in Canada.
Do you like it and wish that there is more to be done by business and government that make such acknowledgement?
Do First Nation Community as a whole endorse the practice?
Do the practice of land acknowledgement by various company and government actually make the First Nation Community better (or does it provide tangible benefit to the community?)
Holder of certificate of First Nation Status can have province sales tax exempted for hotel accommodation if the accommodation is provided on First Nation land. It companies are acknowledging they are operating on unceded First Nation land, should the hotels just waive the provincial sales tax (offer to pay the provincial sales taxes for the guest) to show that they really mean what they said (according to the province, First Nations land is defined as on reserve or former reserve land now part of treaty lands; however there is no specific method provided by the province to clearly determine the area)
Looking at the following 3 examples, one of the acknowledgment did not use the word "unceded". What do you think about it?
Example 1 We acknowledge and respect that the land on which the Hotel stands is the traditional territories of the Coast and Straits Salish Peoples. Specifically, we recognize the lək̓ʷəŋən peoples known today as the Songhees and Esquimalt First Nations, and that their historic connections to these lands continue to this day.
Example 2 Hotels would like to acknowledge that the land on which the Oceanfront Resort in Sooke resides and where our guests visit today is situated on the traditional unceded territory of the T’Sou-ke Peoples.
Example 3 Located on the traditional, ancestral and unceded lands of the Lekwungen People, also known as the Songhees and Esquimalt First Nations communities
As a non-First Nation, I would like to respectfully seek the feedback from people in the First Nation Community. Thank you very much.
submitted by Mizzery50 to FirstNationsCanada [link] [comments]
Do you like it and wish that there is more to be done by business and government that make such acknowledgement?
Do First Nation Community as a whole endorse the practice?
Do the practice of land acknowledgement by various company and government actually make the First Nation Community better (or does it provide tangible benefit to the community?)
Holder of certificate of First Nation Status can have province sales tax exempted for hotel accommodation if the accommodation is provided on First Nation land. It companies are acknowledging they are operating on unceded First Nation land, should the hotels just waive the provincial sales tax (offer to pay the provincial sales taxes for the guest) to show that they really mean what they said (according to the province, First Nations land is defined as on reserve or former reserve land now part of treaty lands; however there is no specific method provided by the province to clearly determine the area)
Looking at the following 3 examples, one of the acknowledgment did not use the word "unceded". What do you think about it?
Example 1 We acknowledge and respect that the land on which the Hotel stands is the traditional territories of the Coast and Straits Salish Peoples. Specifically, we recognize the lək̓ʷəŋən peoples known today as the Songhees and Esquimalt First Nations, and that their historic connections to these lands continue to this day.
Example 2 Hotels would like to acknowledge that the land on which the Oceanfront Resort in Sooke resides and where our guests visit today is situated on the traditional unceded territory of the T’Sou-ke Peoples.
Example 3 Located on the traditional, ancestral and unceded lands of the Lekwungen People, also known as the Songhees and Esquimalt First Nations communities
As a non-First Nation, I would like to respectfully seek the feedback from people in the First Nation Community. Thank you very much.
2023.05.31 23:06 Paul2p Japanese Music Spreadsheet See what's coming out this month (June)!
For those interested in what's coming out this month here is a spreadsheet of release dates.
Here's the link [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1VcrXXQKn\_wuwtiExqZK9Ahj2R4jqwDIgL4O7xPBKAIs/edit?usp=sharing]
If you want to help I have a submission form you can use here [https://forms.gle/ixaPcJ6z3oSpjoMz7]
If you see any errors please pm me.
Also thanks to everyone who helped submit new things this year! I couldn't do it without you! Feel free to share this in communities that are related to Japanese music.
The linked spreadsheet is the most up-to-date resource as well. I won't update the table here if there are any changes.
Follow the twitter account if you want to be notified when someone submits something new through the submission form: https://twitter.com/JapaneseRelease
submitted by Paul2p to japanesemusic [link] [comments]
Here's the link [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1VcrXXQKn\_wuwtiExqZK9Ahj2R4jqwDIgL4O7xPBKAIs/edit?usp=sharing]
If you want to help I have a submission form you can use here [https://forms.gle/ixaPcJ6z3oSpjoMz7]
If you see any errors please pm me.
Also thanks to everyone who helped submit new things this year! I couldn't do it without you! Feel free to share this in communities that are related to Japanese music.
The linked spreadsheet is the most up-to-date resource as well. I won't update the table here if there are any changes.
Follow the twitter account if you want to be notified when someone submits something new through the submission form: https://twitter.com/JapaneseRelease
| Artist name (romaji) | Artist name (original/kanji/etc) optional | Release title in original language | Date of release | Type of release | Genre (leave empty if you do not know) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Taisetsuna Oshirase | 大切なお知らせ | クソでもブスでも僕らは永遠にアイドル | 6/1/2023 | album | idol |
| WONKWONK | Passione | 6/1/2023 | single | soul | |
| DX×DX | デラックス×デラックス | 千紫万紅 | 6/2/2023 | album | |
| Travis Japan | Moving Pieces EP | 6/5/2023 | ep | idol | |
| Crack6 | カナリア最終楽章:CODA | 6/6/2023 | album | visual kei | |
| Oyama Maki | 大山まき | Valkyrie | 6/6/2023 | album | rock |
| V.A. | LIVEPRO MUSIC | 6/6/2023 | mini album | idol | |
| 703goushitsu | 703号室 | BREAK | 6/7/2023 | album | |
| Aimyon | あいみょん | 愛の花 | 6/7/2023 | single | pop |
| Asilo | Bouquet | 6/7/2023 | ep | ||
| BANSHIMOKU | 板歯目 | SPANKY ALIEN | 6/7/2023 | single | rock |
| Chara | ohhh! | 6/7/2023 | single | pop | |
| CodyLee | Cody・Lee(李) | ひかりのなまえ EP | 6/7/2023 | ep | pop |
| DA PUMP | サンライズ・ムーン～宇宙に行こう～ | 6/7/2023 | single | pop | |
| Genin Wa Jibun Ni Aru. | 原因は自分にある。 | Foxy Grape | 6/7/2023 | single | pop |
| Hara Yuko | 原由子 | スペシャルライブ 2023『婦人の肖像（Portrait of a Lady）』at 鎌倉芸術館 | 6/7/2023 | BluRay/DVD | pop |
| HERE | 電撃 | 6/7/2023 | album | ||
| Johnny's WEST | ジャニーズWEST | しあわせの花 | 6/7/2023 | single | idol |
| MARURI | まるり | ily | 6/7/2023 | single | pop |
| Meme Tokyo | ミームトーキョー | MEMETIC INFECTION | 6/7/2023 | ep | idol |
| Miyuna | みゆな | 笑って | 6/7/2023 | single | pop |
| MOROHA | MOROHA V | 6/7/2023 | album | rap | |
| OverTone | OverTone | 6/7/2023 | album | pop | |
| Sexy Zone | Chapter II | 6/7/2023 | album | idol | |
| sumika | Starting Over | 6/7/2023 | single | rock | |
| The Stalin | ザ・スターリン | 首だけアツレキ | 6/7/2023 | single | rock |
| Tomita Shiori | トミタ栞 | ラーメンウォーアイニー | 6/7/2023 | single | pop |
| Uru | 心得 / 紙一重 | 6/7/2023 | single | pop | |
| YANUSHI | 家主 | INTO THE DOOM | 6/7/2023 | live album | rock |
| You'll Melt More! | ゆるめるモ！ | GOLDEN YOU | 6/7/2023 | album | idol |
| zutomayo | ずっと真夜中でいいのに。 | 沈香学 | 6/7/2023 | album | pop |
| MUCC | 99 | 6/9/2023 | single | visual kei | |
| JUN SKY WALKER(S) | そばにいるから | 6/10/2023 | single | rock | |
| fishbowl | 深海 | 6/11/2023 | single | idol | |
| umbrella | dilemma | 6/11/2023 | single | rock | |
| 7riot | アマテラス | 6/13/2023 | single | idol | |
| Takahashi Yu | 高橋優 | spotlight | 6/13/2023 | single | pop |
| WEBER | 10→1 | 6/13/2023 | album | pop | |
| &TEAM | First Howling : WE | 6/14/2023 | ep | pop | |
| 10-FEET | 10-FEET 25th ANNIVERSARY ONE-MAN TOUR 2022 FINAL in 太陽が丘 | 6/14/2023 | BluRay/DVD | rock | |
| 20th Century | 二十世紀 FOR THE PEOPLE | 6/14/2023 | album | idol | |
| ART-SCHOOL | luminous | 6/14/2023 | album | rock | |
| B'z | B'z LIVE-GYM 2022 -Highway X- | 6/14/2023 | BluRay/DVD | rock | |
| BABYMETAL | BABYMETAL RETURNS - THE OTHER ONE - | 6/14/2023 | live album | metal | |
| Chiaki Sato | 佐藤千亜妃 | 線香花火 (ft. 幾田りら) | 6/14/2023 | single | pop |
| haju:harmonics | Ember | 6/14/2023 | ep | ||
| KANA-BOON | 恋愛至上主義 | 6/14/2023 | album | rock | |
| Kawasaki Takaya | 川崎鷹也 | ぬくもり | 6/14/2023 | album | pop |
| Kinniku Shoujo Tai | 筋肉少女帯 | 一瞬！ | 6/14/2023 | compilation | rock |
| Kinoco Hotel | マリアンヌの教典 | 6/14/2023 | album | rock | |
| kyanai | きゃない | 僕はヒーローになれない | 6/14/2023 | single | pop |
| M!LK | Jewel | 6/14/2023 | album | pop | |
| Midnight Grand Orchestra | Midnight Grand Orchestra 1st LIVE『Overture』 | 6/14/2023 | BluRay/DVD | pop | |
| Mikansei VS shinsekai | 未完成VS新世界 | 音楽という魔法に夢をみていたよ | 6/14/2023 | album | |
| Petit Brabancon | Automata | 6/14/2023 | ep | metal | |
| Ryukku to Soine Gohan | リュックと添い寝ごはん | 反撃的讃歌 | 6/14/2023 | single | rock |
| Sada Masashi | さだまさし | なつかしい未来 | 6/14/2023 | album | folk |
| SixTONES | こっから | 6/14/2023 | single | idol | |
| THE BACK HORN | REARRANGE THE BACK HORN | 6/14/2023 | album | rock | |
| THE BEAT GARDEN | Bell | 6/14/2023 | album | pop | |
| TM NETWORK | DEVOTION | 6/14/2023 | album | electronic | |
| TOMOVSKY | BELL | 6/14/2023 | album | ||
| tonun | Intro | 6/14/2023 | album | rnb | |
| UniteUp! | Unite up! | 6/14/2023 | album | idol | |
| S.S.NiRVERGE∀ | 秘密結社ニルヴァージュ∀ | Continue Distortion | 6/20/2023 | single | rock |
| V.A. | ヤババババババババババキューブ | 6/20/2023 | compilation | idol | |
| Vivarush | 神ノミゾ知ル | 6/20/2023 | single | visual kei | |
| Ado | カムパネルラ | 6/21/2023 | BluRay/DVD | pop | |
| Amamiya Sora | 雨宮天 | COVERSⅡ-Sora Amamiya favorite songs- | 6/21/2023 | album | pop |
| Ayaka | 絢香 | Funtale | 6/21/2023 | album | pop |
| cali≠gari | 16 | 6/21/2023 | album | visual kei | |
| CIDER GIRL | サイダーガール | Bluebell | 6/21/2023 | ep | rock |
| ClariS | 淋しい熱帯魚 | 6/21/2023 | ep | pop | |
| Dempagumi.inc | でんぱ組.inc | ONE NATION UNDER THE DEMPA | 6/21/2023 | ep | idol |
| DIALOGUE＋ | にゃんぼりーdeモッフィー!! | 6/21/2023 | single | idol | |
| Hayashi Tetsuji | 林哲司 | Hayashi Tetsuji Song File | 6/21/2023 | compilation | pop |
| KANDYTOWN | LAST ALBUM | 6/21/2023 | album | rap | |
| KISAKI | Preuve d'etre | 6/21/2023 | album | visual kei | |
| KiSS KiSS | KiSSES | 6/21/2023 | single | ||
| QUBIT | G.A.D. | 6/21/2023 | single | ||
| Strange Reitaro | 奇妙礼太郎 | 奇妙礼太郎 | 6/21/2023 | album | rock |
| Suzuki Matsuo | 鈴木マツヲ | ONE HIT WONDER | 6/21/2023 | album | |
| THE MODS | 続・約束の夜 | 6/21/2023 | BluRay/DVD | rock | |
| Tomita Lab | 冨田ラボ | 冨田ラボ / 冨田恵一 WORKS BEST 2 ～beautiful songs to remember～ | 6/21/2023 | compilation | pop |
| TUYU | ツユ | アンダーメンタリティ | 6/21/2023 | album | pop |
| Versailles | VOGUE | 6/21/2023 | single | metal | |
| YOASOBI | アイドル | 6/21/2023 | single | pop | |
| YONA YONA WEEKENDERS | into the wind | 6/21/2023 | ep | pop | |
| Sala | ROCK ON!!! | 6/23/2023 | album | rock | |
| WAAARZ | Cross the line | 6/27/2023 | single | idol | |
| Aoi Shouta | 蒼井翔太 | 蒼井翔太 LIVE 2023 WONDER lab. Garden | 6/28/2023 | BluRay/DVD | pop |
| BE:FIRST | BE:FIRST 1st One Man Tour "BE:1" 2022-2023 | 6/28/2023 | BluRay/DVD | pop | |
| Cornelius | 夢中夢 -Dream In Dream- | 6/28/2023 | album | shibuya kei | |
| Genie High | ジェニーハイ | ジェニークラシック | 6/28/2023 | album | |
| Mogamigawa Tsukasa | 最上川 司 | 飛んでけ花笠 | 6/28/2023 | single | enka |
| Non | のん | PURSUE | 6/28/2023 | album | pop |
| PK shampoo | Pencil Rocket Opera E.P | 6/28/2023 | ep | rock | |
| Sato Chiaki | 佐藤千亜妃 | BUTTERFLY EFFECT | 6/28/2023 | album | pop |
| SHISHAMO | SHISHAMO NO BUDOKAN!!! ～10YEARS THANK YOU～ | 6/28/2023 | BluRay/DVD | rock | |
| syudou | 露骨 | 6/28/2023 | album | pop | |
| TAICHI MUKAI | 向井太一 | CANVAS | 6/28/2023 | mini album | rnb |
| TOMORROW X TOGETHER | ＜ACT : LOVE SICK＞ IN JAPAN | 6/28/2023 | BluRay/DVD | pop |
2023.05.31 23:02 FortyYearTransform Documental Seasons 1-4: The Classic Era Full Timelines and Match Reports
Last Thursday I made a post where I showed the unlabeled timelines of each Documental season, and wrote that I planning to release all my data showing the entire breakdown of every card given in the first 10 seasons (and the shelved S8).
That time has come.
Reddit posts are limited to 40k characters, so I can't fit all the seasons in one post. However, I was planning to cap off the data post with a post reviewing every season, where I'd divide Documental into three eras (1-4, 5-7, shelved 8 - 10) and try to rank them. Instead, I'll combine the timeline, data, and review into three posts, one for each era. The reviews will go in a comment to save space.
Welcome to the Classic Era (alternatively, the Cookie-Fujimoto Era) of Documental. Introduction and methodology in the comments to save space.
ドキュメンタル。。。スタート！
Documental Season 1 Card Timeline
Winner: None (three-way tie, unofficial winner Anthony)
FINAL WORDS:
Documental Season 2 Card Timeline
Winner: Kotouge (2 remaining, won 3-0 on points)
FINAL WORDS:
What will we do? Thirty seconds... time for one more. It has to be... (rubber chicken sque-eak).
(Followed after final bell by 'Wait wait wait, please..." "It's over").
Documental Season 3 Card Timeline
Winner: Yamamoto (2 remaining, won 1-0 on points)
FINAL WORDS:
A series of squeaks and sighs.
Documental Season 4 Card Timeline
Winner: kukky (4 remaining, won 4-2-1-1 on points)
FINAL WORDS:
COOKIE: "Is it really your anus?" （本当肛門に入れてる？） KUROCHAN: He mimicked me. (何か真似した。。。)
submitted by FortyYearTransform to GakiNoTsukai [link] [comments]
That time has come.
Reddit posts are limited to 40k characters, so I can't fit all the seasons in one post. However, I was planning to cap off the data post with a post reviewing every season, where I'd divide Documental into three eras (1-4, 5-7, shelved 8 - 10) and try to rank them. Instead, I'll combine the timeline, data, and review into three posts, one for each era. The reviews will go in a comment to save space.
Welcome to the Classic Era (alternatively, the Cookie-Fujimoto Era) of Documental. Introduction and methodology in the comments to save space.
ドキュメンタル。。。スタート！
Season 1
U! S! A!Documental Season 1 Card Timeline
Winner: None (three-way tie, unofficial winner Anthony)
| Contestant | Duo Name | Catchphrase* | Points** | Final Rank |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Miyagawa Daisuke (宮川大輔) | (solo) | １、２を争うゲラ (Quick To Laugh) | N/A | 7th (Tie) |
| Time | Card | Primary Culprit(s) | Secondary Culprit(s) | Description | Category |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5:20:25 | Yellow | (self), Jimmy | Thwaps Jimmy with a rubber band in his bald spot. Twists the rubber band around his mouth immediately after, he claims he was "trying to make a funny face" but Matsumoto says he was using it to hold back a laugh and "that's wrong". | Boke, Self-Destruct | |
| 3:31:49 | Orange | kukky | kukky comes out with the Tenga Egg on his head that he inflates. | Immediate, Absurd | |
| 2:59:31 | Red | kukky, Fujimoto | (self) | ["Double elimination"]: Fujimoto initiates cleaning Daisuke's ass of the toilet paper, the killing blow comes when kukky comes and sprays something (perfume)? Both Daisuke and Saito get reds. | Coup de grace, Absurd, Lost Endurance |
| Ohchi Yosuke (大地洋輔) | Dienoji (ダイノジ) | エアギター世界王者 (Air Guitar World Champion) | N/A | 9th |
|---|
| 5:47:52 | Yellow | Jimmy | "Yoshimoto's Al Capone": Ohchi is laughing pretty much throughout the group's conversation about Hachimitsu's shirt (and Fujimoto's "giant wife", per Kubota) but Jimmy coming out with his "mother and child" lamb gets him to laugh, chided for hiding behind cigarette. | Boke, Absurd, Passive, Warning | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5:26:26 | Safe! | Anthony | Examined during the Saito orange, Ohchi accused of laughing but holding it in during Anthony's "move" which consists of him squeezing his head through the opponent's arm and saying Hello. | Absurd | |
| 4:28:33 | Red | kukky | Laughs at kukky's joke about his jacket hood being full of tofu, specifically just the joke and the word "tofu", as he even reinacts it "It's soaked in sweat." "Yeah, it's wet." "That's not sweat. There's tofu in there.". He explains that kukky uses tofu as a joke for everything. | Immediate, Boke, ???, Personal, Unfunny |
| Kubota Kazunobu (久保田和靖) | "Torosa-mon" [sic.] (とろサーモン) | サイコパス的な。。。(Psychopathic...) | N/A | Survived*** (would have placed 2nd on points) |
|---|
| 1:06:33 | Yellow | Anthony | Loses the rock-paper-scissors against Fujimon and has to look at the photo of Anthony's dad (same photo where he blends into background that Kawahara laughs at) first. His voice trembles with a laugh. | Traditional, Strict |
|---|
| Fujimoto Toshifumi (藤本敏史) | "Fujiwara" (FUJIWARA) | 嫁への依存心でハングリーになれるか？ (Can He Be Hungry Dependent On His Wife?) | N/A | 4th |
|---|
| 5:33:48 | Yellow | Jimmy, Daisuke | ["They calm me"]: Jimmy and Daisuke line up to play rock-paper-scissors, Daisuke tells Jimmy to put the sheep away and he says they calm them, then Jimmy bursts into laughter. Saito and Fujimoto also caught smiling (albeit Fujimoto smiles in a way that he will always do in the later seasons). | Strict, Warning | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2:14:53 | Orange | Anthony | A talk starting from Fujimon not needing 10M, name a comedian still popular in their 50s, Ishizuka... Anthony mentions "But I heard that when he does those gourmet reports, he leaves a lot of food." and Fujimoto goes "Hmph!". | Strict, Personal | |
| 18:50 | Red | Kawahara, (self) | Kawahara goes out with his boxing glove punch strainer dip routine. Fujimoto joins in taking the strainer, and Kawahara hits him in the face with the boxing glove at the end. Fujimoto laughs. "When you get punched that much, you can't help but laugh. I thought, 'What the hell am I doing?'". | Rolling, Absurd, Coup de grace |
| kukky (くっきー) | "Yaseibakuden" (野性爆弾) | ドリ客 (Can-ghter) | N/A | 5th |
|---|
| 4:34:08 | Yellow | Hachimitsu | Laughs at Hachimitsu's black-and-yellow lucha libre mask. Contemporary with Ohchi's orange for laughing throughout. No time given, so I'm going off of the 4:33:18 seen when Ohchi's laughs minus 50 seconds of broadcast time to the start. | Traditional | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4:07:16 | Orange | Daisuke | ["Analympics"]: Daisuke demonstrates the game he used to play in dressing rooms: Analympics, strips underwear and shows anus very fast. Kukky laughs because he had toilet paper crumbs left ("looked like termites"), Hachimitsu and Saito also examined, Saito marked safe but other two get orange. | Vulgar, Immediate, Unexpected | |
| 2:19:00 | Red | Kubota | Kubota performs an unfunny version of Pikotaro. "B... oo... boobs!" It's not even remotely funny, so kukky laughs. Time not shown so going off starting time. | Unfunny |
| Saito Tsukasa (斎藤司) | "Trendy Angel" (トレンディエンジェル) | ハケごときで (His Baldness Is Lame) | N/A | 7th (Tie) |
|---|
| 5:33:48 | Yellow | Jimmy, Daisuke | Jimmy and Daisuke line up to play rock-paper-scissors, Daisuke tells Jimmy to put the sheep away and he says they calm them, then he bursts into laughter. Saito and Fujimoto also caught smiling. | Boke | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5:26:26 | Orange | Jimmy | "First orange": After Jimmy gives him his hair, he goes to wash his head. Jimmy "makes a funny face" and Saito laughs. The group insists Jimmy was laughing and hiding his face in the sink but Matsumoto doesn't check up on it. Ohchi also examined and not carded. Since Saito was attacking he gets an orange, which is explained as the last step before red. | Boke | |
| 4:07:16 | Safe! | Daisuke | ["Analympics"] | Vulgar, Immediate |
| Kawahara Katsumi (川原克己 | "Tenjikunezumi" (天竺鼠) | 板尾創路の系譜 (The "Itsuji Itao Type") | N/A | Survived*** (would have placed 3rd on points) |
|---|
| 2:09:52 | Yellow | (self) | "That's quite manly of you...": Nobody's ever seen Kawahara laugh, so he decides to show them. He hides his face and uncovers it to indeed reveal him laughing. "I thought he wouldn't make a face at all. But he gave us a full on laugh. It was so unlike him.". His goal was that everybody would laugh in response. Fujimoto does laugh, but after the siren. | !!! | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1:12:11 | Orange | Anthony | Laughs at Anthony's second photo of his American dad Viktor (a night photo where his dad is barely visible due to his dark skin color). | Traditional |
| Hachimitsu Jiro (ハチミツ二郎) | "Tokyo Dynamite" (東京ダイナマイト) | 地肩が強い (Mr. Highly Proficient) | N/A | 6th |
|---|
| 5:59:17 | Safe! | (self) | ["First siren on Documental"]: pretty much everyone is laughing, but specifically Jiro's smile as he introduces himself to Jimmy and Jimmy's "stretched mouth" after Kawahara introduces himself as "Kyojin from All Hanshin" get called out. | Lost Concentration, Fun | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5:00:25 | Yellow | Jimmy | Jimmy eats the bun with the wasabi clearly on it, there's still one more, Hachimitsu laughs as he says "It should be okay...". | Lost Concentration | |
| 4:07:16 | Orange | Daisuke | ["Analympics"] | Vulgar, Immediate | |
| 2:50:51 | Red | Fujimon | (self) | Earlier on, as Hachimitsu shows off the lucha libre masks, he stands on a chair and breaks it, and Ohchi swings a broken part of the chair around like a tonfa. Later, Kawahara is doing a running joke where he takes credit for other things, and replicated Ohchi's joke. Hachimitsu remarks that he made that and Fujimon says "You didn't make it". They repeat this exchange and Hachimitsu smiles. Fujimoto is stunned as Hachimitsu smiled at the simplest possible tsukkomi response: "What else should I say? You didn't make it." In the interview after, Hachimitsu talks about how he lost his focus, and couldn't understand why Fujimoto was so persistent about something so trivial, as "When you think about it, I made that prop". | Tsukkomi, Lost Concentration |
| Anthony (アントニー | "Matenrou" (マテンロウ) | 毛色が違う (A Horse of a Different Color) | N/A | Survived*** (would have placed 1st on points) |
|---|
| 3:21:16 | Yellow | (self) | kukky | Anthony puts on kukky's Tenga Egg and enjoys it, saying "This is fun" but smiling as he does. | Lost Concentration, Fun |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1:16:37 | Orange | (self) | Laughs "like at a normal dinner" while showing Fujimon his kindergarten photo. | Lost Concentration, Fun |
| Jimmy Onishi (ジミー大西) | (solo) | 化物 (Monster) | N/A | 10th |
|---|
| 5:59:17 | Safe! | Kawahara | ["First siren on documental"] | Traditional | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5:33:48 | Yellow | (self), Daisuke | ["They calm me"] | Boke | |
| 5:26:26 | Safe! | (self) | ["First orange"] | Boke | |
| 4:56:08 | Red | Fujimon | (self) | Hachimitsu says Fujimon is close to laughing and Fujimon complains about Jimmy: "But he keeps drinking!" (after they agreed using bottles to hide a laugh is a foul). Jimmy laughs and gets mad at Fujimon, saying he was only drinking because the wasabi was still hot and he kept tricking Jimmy into laughing. | ??? |
Anthony: You act like you're the best, but you're hopeless. ([小僧?]一番出来る感じ出して、なんてないっす。）
Kubota: Hm?
(silence)
Season 2
The legendary 657 seconds. A true fight to the death. This is Documental.Documental Season 2 Card Timeline
Winner: Kotouge (2 remaining, won 3-0 on points)
| Contestant | Duo Name | Catchphrase* | Points | Final Rank | Likelihood To Win** |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Yoshimura Takashi (吉村崇) | Heisei Nobushikobushi (平成ノブシコブシ) | 破天荒芸人 (The Wild Cannon Comedian) | 1 | 3rd | 5th |
| Time | Card | Primary Culprit(s) | Secondary Culprit(s) | Description | Category |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4:28:29 | Yellow | Jimmy | ["Reshuffled"]: Jimmy gets his balls sucked in the vaccuum and reacts to the pain: "Look at my balls, they've been reshuffled (互い違い)". Matsumoto says everyone could be called out but Yoshimura and Tsuda were clear outs, giving everyone a yellow as a coincidence. The two assert that at first they had no idea what Jimmy meant, but his balls had indeed moved "not just up and down, there was a lateral transfer too". | Boke, Verbal, Vulgar, Physical | |
| 20:25 | Orange | Fujimoto | As Fujimoto undresses, Joyman falls out. Turns out Fujimoto had stuck Joyman inside his underwear, and it even stuck to his butt for a moment. | Unexpected, Trap | |
| 10:56 | Red | Kotouge | Kotouge spits water onto the photo of Tsuda's mother and yells "old hag!". Almost all of it richochets onto Yoshimura. | Unexpected, Physical |
| Miyagawa Daisuke (宮川大輔) | (solo) | 楽屋での密室芸 (The Closed-Door Backstage Artist) | 0 | 10th | 2nd |
|---|
| 5:28:02 | Safe! | Jimmy | ["Yam-jelly"]: Jimmy "quits priesthood" and strips, uncovering his smelly yam-jelly dick (konnyaku) covering. Himura laughs, says Daisuke laughed as he looks down but Matsumoto rules it as after the red siren. | Absurd, Boke | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5:20:39 | Yellow | Jimmy, Himura, (self) | ["Atsui/Itai"]: Daisuke shoots a rubber band at Jimmy's ass, Jimmy responds with "Atsui!" (It's hot!). Himura starts to tsukkomi Jimmy saying that's not right, he should say "Itai!" (It hurts!) instead. Miyagawa all along is holding it in, eventually hissing out a laugh (Matsumoto-san! Matsumoto-san!), and says Himura was laughing too but Matsumoto says the cameras didn't catch Himura. | Boke, Lost Endurance | |
| 4:17:38 | Red | Jimmy, (self) | Jimmy washes his head and is soaking wet, Daisuke offers Jimmy a towel, Jimmy says No thanks, Daisuke chuckles as he responds "Why? It's just..." (... a towel.). Asked why he laughed he repeats this story over and over. He was just talking with Jimmy as he normally would and lost his concentration. | ???, Boke, Lost concentration |
| Oshima Miyuki (大島美幸) | Morisantyu (森三中) | 女芸人登場 (The First Female Competitor) | 1 | 8th | 9th |
|---|
| 5:42:01 | Yellow | (self) | Hands her panties to Jimmy, then they get examined by the group: "Do you play baseball in them or something?". | Self-destruct | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4:58:21 | Orange | Kotouge, Kojima | Fujimon | As the group rags on Kojima being unfunny with his wooden drum, Fujimon points out there's a "wooden drum right next to him" (Kotouge) and Kojima gets spurred to play him. Kojima thwacks Kotouge on the head with his mallet a bit too hard and Kotouge reacts in pain. | Physical |
| 3:29:16 | Red | (self), Jimmy | "A poorly written mystery:" Oshima makes Jimmy ramen. He eats it and complains it's sweet. "You put sugar in it, didn't you? Oshimaaa!" She can't hold it in. After the red card she reveals she made Jimmy's ramen half-filled with orange juice - Jimmy's still angry as she leaves. | Self-destruct, Boke, Trap |
| Himura Yuki (日村勇紀) | Bananaman (バナナマン) | 笑いの有段者 (The Black Belt Comedian) | 0 | 5th |
|---|
| 5:28:02 | Yellow | Jimmy | ["Yam-jelly"] | Absurd, Boke, Passive | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5:20:39 | Safe | Jimmy, (self), Daisuke | ["Atsui/Itai"] | Boke, Passive | |
| 2:01:01 | Orange | Kotouge | (self), Fujimoto, Yoshimura, Saito | Fujimoto starts a sketch with his screaming mouth mask. Yoshimura joins in with his beer liker cap mask. Saito comes in with the titty cap as if it was really funny, and that turns off the pressure. Then Kotouge comes out with absolutely nothing (he wanted to join, but they already ended), and Himura laughs as he realizes Kotouge doesn't have anything. | Passive, Unexpected |
| 1:27:56 | Red | Kotouge | Kotouge does Akira 100% while getting his balls slurped by the vaccuum. On the suggestion that he do it standing on the tray, he slips and impales himself on the trunk behind him. Himura laughs when he sees the bruise that Kotouge has from it. | Physical, Passive |
| Kojima Kazuya (児嶋一哉) | Unjash (アンジャッシュ） | 木偶の坊 (The Dunce) | 0 | 9th | 7th |
|---|
| 4:37:54 | Yellow | Jimmy, Yoshimura | ["Under the konnyaku"]: Jimmy brings in the vaccuum cleaner, Yoshimura says "What if we try under the konnyaku?" and sucks up his genitals, Jimmy reacts in pain as expected. Matsumoto comes for Kojima but group says Kotouge was who they all saw, both get yellows. | Physical | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4:08:07 | Orange | Kotouge | Kotouge comes out wearing a chainmail helmet and proclaims "If you hit me (again), it wouldn't hurt at all". Kojima hits him again and it hurts - it didn't work at all. Matsumoto checks to see whether to give an orange (warning) or another yellow (which would mean a red), but gives him orange because he was attacking. | Physical, Rolling | |
| 3:46:45 | Red | Fujimon, Kotouge | Saito | "An incredible stutter": Saito attempts a titty gag but nobody laughs and the group around the porthole point out that's all he's been trying. Kotouge gives an "unclear stutter" as he says "You only brought titties to thish sh-show..." ("お前今日、おっぱいしか（？？？）じゃない、この番組。。。” and Fujimon reacts with a "Hm?". Discussion as to whether it counts as Kotouge's point, Kojima says he laughed at Fujimon's "Hm?" reaction. Saito says he set it up but Matsumoto says it wasn't even remotely funny. | Tsukkomi, Unexpected |
| Fujimoto Toshifumi (藤本敏史) | Fujiwara (FUJIWARA） | ムードメーカー (The Moodmaker) | 4 | 4th | 6th |
|---|
| 4:42:40 | Yellow | Tsuda | Tsuda brings in the photo of his mom at 14 hula hooping, tells the story of her bad-smelling farts, and reveals that she was a javelin thrower. The group locks on to Fujimon and makes him look at the photo. "Textbook comedy". | Traditional | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 59:52 | Orange | (self) | Saito | "Are 200 watts funny?": trying to do his nose hair remover and heating it up in the microwave, it isn't working. Fujimon insists it will work. Saito: Doesn't that say 200 watts? Fujimon: It only has 200 watts. Saito: 500 watts before. Fujimon: Well, this won't work... it's broken. He chuckles casually while saying that last phrase for some reason. After the card, the group repeats 200 watts to try to make Fujimoto laugh. | ???, Lost Concentration |
| 16:16 | Red | Yoshimura | "Revenge of the Joyman": During the seltzer-chug challenge, Yoshimura puts Joyman on the bottom of the water bottle, getting revenge for his own orange from Fujimon. | Traditional |
| Saito Shinji (斉藤慎二) | Jungle Pocket (ジャングルポケット） | 唯一無二の個性 (A Unique Character) | 0 | 2nd (Survived, lost on points) | 10th |
|---|
| 4:49:37 | Yellow | Jimmy | During Kojima's skit, the microwave beeps. What did you heat? Jimmy answers Strawberry candy (earlier, during Fujimon's "Cat's Eye, Dog Nose... add one more" associated word exchange with Kotouge, Jimmy answered with the complete non-sequitur Strawberry Candy). The group thought Jimmy laughed but Saito is called out for suspiciously eating bread right after that statement. | Absurd, Boke |
|---|
| Tsuda Atsuhiro (津田篤宏 | Daian (ダイアン) | ナニワが抜けてない (He Still Reeks Of Old-Style Osaka) | 1 | 6th | 8th |
|---|
| 4:28:29 | Yellow | Jimmy | ["Reshuffled"] | Boke, Verbal, Vulgar, Physical | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4:00:37 | Orange | (Yoshimura or Fujimon, whoever brought Joyman and laid the trap) | As Tsuda shows the picture of his silver-capped-tooth mother, he turns around and sees a trap: somebody placed Joyman's Takagi on the hula hoop. He goes "Heh!" and Matsumoto lets him off with a "any mistake and you're done, this orange card is virtually a yellow"***. | Trap, Strict | |
| 3:01:00 | Red | (self), Fujimon | Laughs throughout his Masayuki Suzuki impression (Chigau, chiiii-gau, sou jya na-iii...), final laugh after Fujimon's "See you in Yoyogi" (5 o' clo...). | Self-destruct, Tsukkomi |
| Kotouge Eiji (小峠英二) | Viking (バイきんぐ) | 怒り芸 (The Anger Artist) | 3 | 1st (Survived, won on points) | 4th |
|---|
| 4:37:54 | Yellow | Jimmy, Yoshimura | ["Under the konnyaku"] | Physical, Boke | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1:13:24 | Orange | Fujimon | Saito | Saito tries inhaling the helium that he brought but it doesn't work for him. Fujimon shows him how it's done and says "Hello". Kotouge has a slight smirk, the group defends him (We don't want to see him expelled just for that...) and he gets an orange. | Strict, Traditional |
| Jimmy Onishi (ジミー大西) | (solo) | 異星からの贈り物 (A Gift From Outer Space) | 9 | 7th | 3rd |
|---|
| 5:56:42 | Orange*** | (self) | Laughs casually as he's distributing his "crackers for friendship". | Lost Concentration | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5:42:01 | Yellow*** | Oshima | Oshima hands her panties to Jimmy, then they get examined by the group: "Do you play baseball in them or something?". Oshima laughs but Jimmy gets caught too. | Traditional | |
| 3:21:27 | Red | Fujimon | Fujimoto randomly does the Ice Bucket Challenge (after Saito spits on Kotouge's head to wash off his "hair"). | Unexpected, Absurd, Immediate |
What will we do? Thirty seconds... time for one more. It has to be... (rubber chicken sque-eak).
(Followed after final bell by 'Wait wait wait, please..." "It's over").
Season 3
Squeee... squeee squeee squeee... (Toos! Haah!)Documental Season 3 Card Timeline
Winner: Yamamoto (2 remaining, won 1-0 on points)
| Contestant | Duo Name | Catchphrase | Points | Final Rank |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kendo Kobayashi (ケンドーコバヤシ) | (solo) | 無冠の嘘帝王 (An Emperor Without A Crown) / 不惑のTHEエロス (A Merciless Pervert) | 2 | 4th |
| Time | Card | Primary Culprit(s) | Secondary Culprit(s) | Description | Category |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3:40:40 | Yellow | Kasuga | ["Kasuga after the bell"]: They look at Kasuga's dick during the bell, but immediately after: "Can you show us again?". Kendo looks down but RG goes "bu-bu". Matsumoto comes for Kendo first "but what's the story with RG?". No time given but after the bell is 3h4040s, so I'll go with that. | Physical, Vulgar, Joins in | |
| 3:31:36 | Orange | Kasuga, Goto | ["Curry rice"]: Immediately after Kendo's previous card, Goto asks to try putting the curry rice in there. Kasuga does and it comes at slowly - the speed at which it's served makes him laugh, but Kasuga is said to be smiling during it as well, though I don't see it. | Physical, Vulgar | |
| 1:25:45 | Red | kukky (zombie) | Date (zombie) | ["Teddy Bear-chan enters"]: Date as the daddy brings out kukky's Teddy Bear-chan for the first time. Kasuga and Kendo get reds. | Absurd, Immediate, Routine |
| Goto Terumoto (後藤輝基) | Footballhour (フットボールアワー) | ツッコミスナイパー: "Comedy Sniper" | 2 | 7th |
|---|
| 5:01:01 | Yellow | kukky | Laughs at kukky's "ghost photo" of Master Daisuke, particularly the green head one - "you have no respect for these veterans, it's downright rude". | Traditional, Absurd, Coup de grace, Prepared, Prop | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3:47:48 | Orange | (self), Iwahashi, Kasuga | "A remarkable coincidence": Kasuga shows off his pubic area and Goto calls his skin smooth (tsuru-tsuru: つるつる), and Iwahashi says "Brings back memories, right?" as he at the same time was making a paper crane (tsuru: 鶴). Goto laughs all-out but he's spared, as "I have never seen such a coincidence in my life.". | ???, !!!, Unexpected | |
| 2:46:35 | Red | Kendo, (self) | Kendo comes out as Yuriko Koike. Goto asks him: "Are you moving the markets to Toyosu?" the response: "Not anymore. Changed it again. Jakuzure." Goto laughs at the response: "Why would you build a fish market there?". | Impersonation, Quip |
| Akiyama Ryuji (秋山竜次) | Robert (ロバート) | 千のキャラを持つ男: "The Man of a Thousand Characters" | 1 | 5th |
|---|
| 3:41:23 | Yellow | Kasuga, (self) | Goto, Kendo | Kasuga shows off his privates and his impressive foreskin as Goto eats a sausage. "How can you eat while seeing that?" Goto is tasked to eat while face-to-face with Kasuga's foreskin. Kendo sits down next to him. Akiyama jumps in too but laughs - "I don't usually laugh at things like that. But his foreskin was even more impressive than I imagined". Matsmoto only gives him a yellow as "He jumped into that by himself. I take such efforts into consideration.". | Jumps In, Vulgar, Physical |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3:22:47 | Orange | Kasuga, Goto | Kasuga puts the mini eel bento eraser out of his foreskin. "Almost all of you were laughing. But if we go down there, there will be no end. So the guy who stood out the most is out. Akiyama." Akiyama: "I held on the whole time, but then he started clenching his body. Nobody guessed it wouldn't come out. Then he tried to push it out with while whole body, and an eel bento popped out.". | Vulgar, Physical | |
| 1:39:46 | Red | Yamamoto | Kendo | During Kendo's conversation with Yamamoto about why the latter "went away", Yamamoto reveals he's been sucking on Iwahashi's pills from before, still, without chewing. 1h41m09s shown earlier. Final time. | Traditional, Unexpected |
| Kinoshita Takayuki (木下隆行) | TKO (TKO) | 本気芝居入道 (True Bald Actor) | 0 | [2nd (Survived, lost on points) |
|---|
| 2:15:21 | Yellow | Iwahashi, (self) | Makes Iwahashi play his "Can do it or Can't do it?" game. The first card is Chomi from Chomi-Choko and Iwahashi insists he could "do her". | Counter, Boke | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 44:37 | Orange | Akiyama (zombie), Kendo (zombie) | "The sweat laugh": One of the most memorable endurance trials in Documental history, the sweat laugh. Akiyama and Kendo's VIP service routine, where Akiyama is a Chinese masseuse who massages Kendo with oil and continuously offers 30-minute extensions, lymph node massages, and the "Double Dip Course", involving massaging his groin. Kendo says he's "about to blow", and Akiyama says he has to finish himself in the shower. You can hear Kendo shower in the changing room as Akiyama sings something in Chinese. All along, Kinoshita is sitting there trying to endure without laughing, to the point where he has a physical reaction and sweat pours down his face. After Akiyama starts singing, he breaks and laughs out loud. | Passive, Explosive, Lost Endurance, Vulgar, Routine |
| Kasuga Toshiaki (春日俊彰) | Audrey (オードリー) | 奇怪なる節約魔獣 (A Bizarre Thrifty Monster) | 6 | 3rd |
|---|
| 3:31:36 | Yellow | Kasuga, Goto | ["Curry rice"] | Self-destruct, Strict | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2:39:28 | Orange | Akiyama | Akiyama comes out with the panty mask and the penis enlarger stretching device he got from a magazine he writes for. | Vulgar, Prepared, Prop, Absurd, Immediate | |
| 1:25:45 | Red | kukky (zombie) | Date (zombie) | ["Teddy Bear-chan enters"] | Absurd, Immediate, Routine |
| kukky (くっきー) | Yaseibakudan (野性爆弾) | 綱渡り放送コード (Walking The Tightrope Of The Broadcast Laws) / 正真正銘最終兵器 (The Ultimate Weapon) | 4 | 10th |
|---|
| 5:15:39 | Yellow | Goto | Yamamoto, Kasuga, Kinoshita | The massage tappers brought by Kinoshita keep getting held by Yamamoto after Kasuga's sixpad performance. Eventually they try it on a shirtless Goto holding the "guitar" (violin), and Cookie laughs after he joins in a bit saying "bi-bi-bi". | Join in, Absurd |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4:05:07 | Red | Goto | (self) | Earlier Cookie gave Goto the pull tab with the mini sushi eraser (that Goto brought). Goto returned the favor by giving a pull tab with a mini curry inside. Cookie laughs full-on and gets a red. | Trap |
| RG | Razor Ramon (レイザーラモン) | 進撃のあるあるシンガー (The Attack of the Observational Humor Singer) / 日本のアイアンハート (The Iron Heart of Japan) | 0 | 8th |
|---|
| 4:36:45 | Yellow | (self), Cookie | RG writes UFO backwards on his forehead accidentally (because he did it in a mirror), Cookie asks "Why is ON written on your forehead" (note that UFO backwards (O= | U) sort of looks like ON). | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4:34:34 | Orange | Kendo?, (self) | Yamamoto | Immediately after RG's previous card, they get watermelon rinds to eat, and somebody (sounds like Kendo?) asks "Can you eat like Shimura?". RG smiles | Lost Concentration |
| 3:40:40 | Red | Kasuga | ["Kasuga after the bell"]:They look at Kasuga's dick during the bell, but immediately after: "Can you show us again?". Kendo looks down but RG goes "bu-bu". Matsumoto comes for Kendo first "but what's the story with RG?". No time given but after the bell is 3h4040s, so I'll go with that. | Physical, Vulgar, Passive |
| Date Mikio (伊達みきお) | Sandwichman (サンドウィッチマン) | 金髪ブタおしゃべり野郎 (Blond Chatty Pig) | 0 | 9th |
|---|
| 4:57:27 | Orange | kukky | Laughs at kukky's "ghost photo" of Master Daisuke, particularly a shrunken head one. Given an orange because he laughs out loud (after saying "I can't take this" - Master Daisuke's head gets smaller and smaller). | Prop, Lost Endurance, Explosive | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3:54:33 | Red | (self), Kinoshita | Who broke Kinoshita's mirror. Date - you are a girl. Proof - show us your breasts. He shows his stomach - one level higher. Date smiles twice - once while showing one breast, the second time for the other. All I did was show a nipple and go "hmmph". | Self-destruct, ???, Strict |
| Iwahashi Yoshimasa (岩橋良昌) | Plus Minus (プラス・マイナス) | やってはいけない症候群 (Compulsive Behavior) | 1 | 6th |
|---|
| 4:36:45 | Safe | RG, Cookie | RG writes UFO backwards on his forehead accidentally (because he did it in a mirror), Cookie asks "Why is ON written on your forehead"?. Iwahashi not carded but Matsumoto accuses him of using his condition as an excuse. | Warning | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2:35:07 | Orange | Kendo | (self), Yamamoto | Laughed in the middle of a normal conversation: Iwahashi says he needs to shave the side of his head but his wife can't do it. Kendo: "You have a wife?" Iwahashi: "I have a wife. And two kids." Kendo: "She must be crazy.". Iwahashi laughs because he was so relieved Yamamoto took the razor that he relaxed like in a salon. | Lost Concentration, Fun |
| 1:50:50 | Red | Kasuga | (self) | Iwahashi bring the "Strange Supplement" supposed to make you lose taste, and demonstrates it. Kasuga tries it with condensed milk, tabasco that makes him cough (though he insists it's not spicy), and mustard. The mustard also makes him cough, and Iwahashi cracks up (putting on the glasses and buck teeth), because "It was funny watching him pretend he's okay. He kept pretending. In the end he couldn't pretend". Kasuga was pretending all along. | Lost Endurance, Boke, Explosive |
| Yamamoto Keiichi (山本圭壱) | Gokuraku Tombo (極楽とんぼ) | 蘇る金豚 (Resurrection of the Golden Pig) | 1 | 1st (survived, won on points) |
|---|
| 5:49:25 | Yellow | (self) | (room), Iwahashi, Kinoshita | According to Matsumoto, Yamamoto was just constantly smiling for the first ten minutes due to the mood in the room: happy to be there. | Fun, Lost Concentration, Warning |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5:04:03 | Orange | kukky | Laughs at kukky's "ghost photo" of Master Daisuke, particularly the shrunken head one. Unusually, no time shown after so time is based on shot during Yamamoto's rampage after. | Prop |
A series of squeaks and sighs.
Season 4
In the space between you and the sky / Today, too, a golden rain falls...Documental Season 4 Card Timeline
Winner: kukky (4 remaining, won 4-2-1-1 on points)
| Contestant | Duo Name | Catchphrase | Points | Final Rank |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Nobu (ノブ) | Chidori (千鳥) | ツッコミ界のクセ強者 (The Tricky Straight Man) | 0 | 10th |
| Time | Card | Primary Culprit(s) | Secondary Culprit(s) | Description | Category |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5:40:25 | Safe | Daigo, Kurochan | ["Stick to your mustache"]: Kurochan drinks milk, when told by Daigo "It'll stick to your mustache" he drinks it in one gulp and it doesn't stick to his mustache. Daigo laughs first, Nobu judged safe. | Boke | |
| 5:02:50 | Yellow | (self) | Fujimoto | Daigo and Nobu accidentally get into a pose that Nobu explains looks like they're "young actors doing a photoshoot". He poses with Fujimon, who shrugs him off. Nobu laughs as everyone looks at him, just from setting up the joke. | Self-destruct |
| 3:51:53 | Orange | kukky | The famous "Kaan!" laugh. kukky hands out collectible photos of Master Daisuke with obscene phrases. Nobu tries to hold it in, making goofy faces as he does, but the normal phrase "I'm gonna buy some Yomeishu" hits him "like a body blow", and he lets out a laugh with a "Kaan!" sound. | Explosive, Lost Endurance, Coup de grace, Prop | |
| 2:59:42 | Red | Iio, Fujimoto | Iio pulls out his oogiri responses, and it turns into an oogiri game with Fujimoto playing support, revealing the Nishizawa's phone case of Master Sakata, "say a word for this photo" (写真で一言). After a series of attacks where Nobu gets weaker, Iio comes up with new responses (normal oogiri), the one that gets Nobu to crack is "I love you." (好きだ！). | Personal, Prop, Lost Endurance |
| Itoda Jun (井戸田潤) | Speed Wagon (スピードワゴン) | 同情するなら笑いくれ (If You Feel Sorry For Me, Laugh) | 0 | 7th |
|---|
| 1:54:03 | Yellow | Daigo | Miyasako | ["The Nose"]: Miyasako makes everyone perform a gag to eat his steak. Daigo puts netting around his face with a hole cutout for the nose. "I'm here to play The Nose". Itoda and kukky checked, kukky is safe and Itoda gets a yellow for "defending himself too much like that". | Traditional, Absurd |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 29:56 | Red | Nobu (zombie), Daigo (zombie), Miyasako | ["Oh, I ended up pissing"]: Chidori performs their "ika nikan!?" standup (as Matsumoto points out, the exact same skit they performed the day before, at Lumine, at which Matsumoto's daughter laughed) naked, after which they talk about how Daigo was unable to get hard and in the end he wore a condom. Miyasako says he was afraid Daigo would end up pissing with the condom on, and Daigo says he can't piss either. As Miyasako turns away and holds in his laugher, Nobu begins pissing. Miyasako turns back around to see it and laughs hard - Itoda get caught up laughing too. | Vulgar, Unexpected |
| Fujimoto Toshifumi (藤本敏史) | Fujiwara (FUJIWARA) | ガヤ永久機関 (The Perennial Supporting Commedian) | 2 | 5th |
|---|
| 4:41:44 | Yellow | Kurochan | (self) | Iio starts measuring in bananas, Kurochan starts performing various gags with bananas. Fujimoto eggs him on. Kurochan does a "Nipple beams, they point outwards, heart!" gag, and Fujimoto laughs because "he said outwards, but they're pointing sideways!". | Boke, Verbal |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3:49 | Red | Iio (zombie), Nobu (zombie) | Itoda (zombie), Miyasako (zombie) | The four zombies come in and do the fighting geezer factions skit (from 24-Hour No Laughing?), involving blowing air into Iio and Nobu's anuses. Fujimon laughs because of a combination of Iio farting (how could he do soemthing like that? after all these years (he's 48) as a pro?) and Nobu being unable to fart (if he can piss, why can't he fart?). | Vulgar, Unexpected, Absurd |
| kukky (くっきー) | Yaseibakudan (野性爆弾) | 芸人殺し芸人 (The Comedian Killer) | [4 | 1st (survived, won on points) |
|---|
| 5:23:42 | Yellow | Fujimoto | (self) | During the group conversation on souvenirs, talking about edible chili oil. "Pengin Shokudo started it off." Cookie tries to go on the offensive by responding "Who "ur" that?" (ペンギン食堂？なんなら？). Fujimoto goes up to him and asks remember "throwable dumplings"? ("投げるシューマイって覚えてる？”), a completely made-up thing in response to the edible chili oil. Cookie laughs at the imagery. | Verbal, Unexpected, Absurd |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1:54:03 | Safe | Daigo | Miyasako | ["The Nose"] | Traditional, Absurd |
| Kurosawa Kazuko (黒沢かずこ) | Morisantyu (森三中) | 歌って踊れる肉塊 (She Sings, She Dances, And She's Chubby) | 1 | 4th (survived, lost on points) |
|---|
| 4:57:36 | Yellow | (self), Nishizawa | Kurosawa goes around and feeds people pickled cucumbers, giving Nishizawa a "big load". He spits it out and Kurosawa laughs because it came out bigger then she expected, as he chewed it and it comes out mashed. | Self-destruct, Physical | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4:51:19 | Orange | (self) | "I want to pick up a man"... picks Itoda for her skit where comes home drunk and she plays the wife, but she smiles during the beginning of the skit (maybe too in character). | Self-destruct |
| Daigo (大悟) | Chidori (千鳥) | 荒くれハニカミ坊主 (The Bashful Ruffian) | 2 | 9th |
|---|
| 5:40:25 | Yellow | (self), Kurochan | ["Stick to your mustache"] | Counter, Unexpected, ??? | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5:14:33 | Orange | Miyasako | Miyasako brings out one squeaking rubber chicken, then brings out many and squeezes them all at the same time. | Prop, Absurd, Traditional | |
| 1:19:52 | Red | kukky!, Kurosawa, Fujimoto, Mishizawa | The legendary foursome: Kurosawa sings, Fujimoto dances unwillingly with the gold leotard and the tattoo of his partner, Mishizawa joins in with his student looking for Puma wallet character, and finally kukky comes out as the Teddy Bear-chan, in his I <3 2 PARTY leotard. Matsumoto: "To be honest, he was laughing for a while." Daigo: "I made that face that said "What's so funny aobut this?" and kept that character. | Lost Endurance, Absurd, Passive, Warning |
| Iio Kazuki (飯尾和樹) | Zun (ずん) | 関根流 正統系統者 (The Legitimate Successor of the Sekine Style) | 1 | 8th |
|---|
| 4:18:21 | Yellow | Kurosawa | Kurosawa's Mao Daichi "Straddle Time!" ("あ！あ！お跨ぎさ！") skit, riding the rope. She continues singing it into the locker room, and the siren goes off. The contestants conclude Kurosawa laughed, but Matsumoto says it was Iio who was holding it in and could no longer. Iio says "it was the vibration on the rope when she rubbed it that got me". | Routine, Lost Endurance | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2:23:22 | Orange | (self) | Fujimoto, Kurosawa | Fujimoto places an (apricot pit?), Iio adds tabasco, Kurosawa picks it up with her mouth. What follows is a cycle of many members sucking it up and spitting it down. Iio sucks it up and is caught laughing, explaining "It was so slimy, I nearly vomited.". | Physical, Join in |
| 1:04:54 | Red | Miyasako | Miyasako comes out with a hard-on: "Who left this porn magazine here? In the middle of a serious battle?" The ability to get a hard-on in this situation impresses everyone, but Iio is the one whose face laughs. | Vulgar, Physical, Routine |
| Nishizawa Yusuke (西澤裕介) | Daian | 不可思議ポーカーフェイス (The Mysterious Poker Face) | 1 | 3rd (survived, lost on points) |
|---|
| 3:42:57 | Yellow | Miyasako | (self) | Nishizawa gives out phone cases with Yoshimoto masters, one of which is Master Osamu. Miyasako tells the story of how Master Osamu has an elevator in his house that's super slow. Have you ever been there? Goes like this... and imitates it. "Most natural laugh yet". | Personal |
|---|
| Kurochan (クロちゃん) | Yausda Dai Circus (安田大サーカス) | ドッキリ日本記録保持者 (The Most-Pranked Comedian in Japan) | 2 | 2nd (survived, lost on points) |
|---|
| 56:44 | Yellow | kukky | Itoda, (self) | kukky is cleaning up Itoda's piss (after the members try to figure out what Kurochan's weak at and he replies with dirty jokes, like touching somebody's balls, and Itoda pisses after the stimulation of Miyasako touching his balls (and Fujimon beginning a chorus of Sora to kimi to no aida). Cookie cleans it up and Kurochan hands him one sheet of a paper towel. Cookie complains "Don't just hand me one sheet! If you hand me just one sheet I'll get piss on my hand" and Kurochan smiles as he thinks "Yeah, he'll get piss on him". | Lost Concentration, Tsukkomi, Verbal, ??? |
|---|
| Miyasako Hiroyuki (宮迫博之) | Ameagari (ダイアン) | 決死のオフホワイト芸人 (The Not-So-Faithful Do-Or-Die Comedian) | 3 | 6 |
|---|
| 2:12:20 | Yellow | kukky | Daigo | kukky puts on his Shinya Yamamoto makeup. Starts playing with Daigo, "the distance between Sigourney Weaver and the alien". kukky's skit involves acting slowly, playing with his dentures, putting them in Daigo's mouth, putting on sunglasses, pulling out a banana, putting the dentures in Daigo's mouth... the room is tense, but Miyasako is the first to break when kukky nibbles the tip of the banana but it comes out intact: "He didn't even get one bite!". | Lost Endurance, Coup de grace, Absurd, Passive |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 29:56 | Red | Nobu (zombie), Daigo (zombie), Miyasako | ["Oh, I ended up pissing"] | Vulgar, Unexpected, Explosive |
FINAL WORDS:
COOKIE: "Is it really your anus?" （本当肛門に入れてる？） KUROCHAN: He mimicked me. (何か真似した。。。)
2023.05.31 22:52 korddhell Hushmode
Is that you in the pfp because I bet you are the ugliest disgusting monopoly mustache you be sliming that shit up and rubbing it all over your face and start packing on reddit you dumbass bitch now ima get to the packin and rappin and dappin and dap up and flippin and floppin dipping and dotting hippity hippity hippity hippity hippity what hold up bitch open your mouth tell me how in the flippity fuck your grandfather lost a 7 hour staring contest to a fuckin handicapped parking spot you bitch ass boy you dirty as fuck bitch you ugly as hell bitch you stupid as fuck bitch your grandma got a speeding ticket for brushing your teeth to fast like SHUT YO FATASS UP NOW IMA DO A COMBO MOVE ON YO BITCHASS NOW up up left right down down left right down right left left down right up you wipe your ass with bubble wrap.Boy if you don’t Get yo diabolical philosophical tap dancing cricket ass on before i get on yo bubonic iranian stripping naked mole rat with a pension plan nasty ass. You dumb ass fuck nigga. Tell me why i caught you fuckin a bioluminescent 3 headed orangutang wearing a crop top while he was doing the cha-cha slide on yo dead grandmothers tombstone. Don’t let me get on yo stinky no bath taking no teeth brushing no top lip havin ass. Tell me why i caught you at the back of the walmart parking lot with the jesus 7’s using a homeless niggas dick cheese as a spread for your baconeggncheese while that nigga was giving you divine judgement from the back with the end of a baseball bat. Nasty ass nigga big forehead having ass nigga it look like someone done a smash combo on your hairline up up down down left right left right neutral b neutral b fuck ass nigga. That vegeta ass hairline, mc donalds logo ass hairline, fatherless ass hairline, registered sex offender ass hairline, fuckin fat forehead bitch. You nasty as shit bitch you hair line is shit bitch and you on hush mode cuz you know im the shit bitch yo momma dead nigga that bitch got shot through the muhfucking titty by 2 big naked black men slicked up in baby oil. I smacked that dead bitch ass while she hittin the doggy pose in her insta noodles ass casket nigga. Yous a bitch never forget that shit fuck nigga. Punk ass nigga nasty bitch ass nigga. Fuck wrong witchu. Nigga we are not the same, i fucked yo momma in your bed and made your dad watch i scammed yo grandma outta her retirement fund and used that shit to buy crack houses and filled it with nae naeing healthy crackbabies. I fucked yo girl and got that shit on tape that bitch was moaning my name too dumb ass nigga. I put your dog into a blender and made your sister drink it then i smack that bitch upside the head with the dead dog tail and got that bitch feeling racially ambiguious nasty family ass nigga. You discombobulated philosophical buttfucking albanian cricket doing the harlem shake while crip walking ass first on your 83 year old grandmothers mobile scooter before shooting up her retirement home because the 45 year old latina desk bitch said that you weren’t “gran hombre fuerte”. Yo crush came into the room and you started stripping down naked and doing fortnite emotes nigga. Then you shouting like a sped nigga on some “that’s my mating call” dumb ass nigga. You nerd ass nigga, no chin ass mf, dumb boy “ i got god and anime on my my side” ass nigga. Nah i better stop cuz im really about to get to the packing and lacking big booty bitch ass smackin on yo dumb ass. You no neck, ass crack, no back, she a snack, crack shack, im shaq, no lip, nip slip, please baby just the tip, no dip, acid trip, look at me mom! I just hit a clip! chrome dome, dimmadome, extra chromosome, man tits, can't find the clit, no ass, smoke grass, ill pass. NASTY ass nigga. Stop playin with me bro you on hush mode
submitted by korddhell to copypasta [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 22:52 fastaaanndcurious Sheesha cafe/Lounge Islamabad
Could someone please recommend a good sheesha cafe in Islamabad? My friends from abroad are coming to visit me and they are really into smoking sheesha and all. I would appreciate any economical suggestions since I'm not familiar with the sheesha scene myself being a non smoker.
TIA
submitted by fastaaanndcurious to islamabad [link] [comments]
TIA
2023.05.31 22:51 fastaaanndcurious Sheesha lounge Islamabad
Could someone please recommend a good sheesha cafe in Islamabad? My friends from abroad are coming to visit me and they are really into smoking sheesha and all. I would appreciate any economical suggestions since I'm not familiar with the sheesha scene myself being a non smoker.
TIA
submitted by fastaaanndcurious to PakistaniiConfessions [link] [comments]
TIA
2023.05.31 22:48 artxdfw 34 [M4F] fwb & coffee - Dallas
Lets cuddle, get close, fuck, and fuck real bad because warm skins touching is just heaven.
I’m 5’11”, 180 lb, Middle Eastern descent, working professional, doing my grad school, have a family, and busy with a full life. I love what I’m doing, I love and value those around me but there is a side that I need/want/have to explore more.
I’m looking for a sneaky fwb relationship with a woman who is in a somewhat similar situation as I am. It can be either long or short term. I need to live the thrill of doing things in secret. I want to get away from my busy schedule for a quick car bj (I’m a 6”), a sneaky flirty coffee meet up, or cancel things off of my calendar to get to my girl for a half or full day of flirting, cuddling, dirty touching, fucking soft/hardcore, and exploring almost unlimited kinks. Some of my sexual kinks that I’m looking to explore with you is dirty talking and dom play.
I’m usually pretty generous with my partners when we’re together. I’m not a sugar daddy, to be clear, but I love to treat myself and my girl when the goal is to have a good time. I love for my fwb girl to try out some good Mediterranean food that you might not have tried out.
I’m open to any race, age, body type, marital status, social/financial situation. In general I’m pretty open to older ages, larger body types, and even married/in a relationship women, as long as it is drama free. Everything we do needs to be legal. You need to be clean, disease free, and dont smoke (at least when with me). I don't smoke, drink or do drugs. You can drink when you’re with me, but no drugs.
I’m looking for an indoor experience. Meaning I’m not generally interested in spending time going to the movies and/or bars. We can meet the first time in a public place for coffee but after that I’d want to be with you in a bedroom or a hotel suite just enjoying each others company. I love to chat, I’m a good listener, I love to have deeper thoughtful conversations too.
I can host and travel around DFW and even Texas if its worth it. Distance is not an issue to me. In fact I love to spend time cruising the roads with you sharing our music playlists lol.
Let me know how my post came across, and how you feel about it. If you are looking for what I’m looking for message me or send me a chat.
Its around 68 degrees in North Texas and will be like this for the rest of the weekend. This is a serious/real post and i’m looking for a woman who is as serious/real.
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I’m 5’11”, 180 lb, Middle Eastern descent, working professional, doing my grad school, have a family, and busy with a full life. I love what I’m doing, I love and value those around me but there is a side that I need/want/have to explore more.
I’m looking for a sneaky fwb relationship with a woman who is in a somewhat similar situation as I am. It can be either long or short term. I need to live the thrill of doing things in secret. I want to get away from my busy schedule for a quick car bj (I’m a 6”), a sneaky flirty coffee meet up, or cancel things off of my calendar to get to my girl for a half or full day of flirting, cuddling, dirty touching, fucking soft/hardcore, and exploring almost unlimited kinks. Some of my sexual kinks that I’m looking to explore with you is dirty talking and dom play.
I’m usually pretty generous with my partners when we’re together. I’m not a sugar daddy, to be clear, but I love to treat myself and my girl when the goal is to have a good time. I love for my fwb girl to try out some good Mediterranean food that you might not have tried out.
I’m open to any race, age, body type, marital status, social/financial situation. In general I’m pretty open to older ages, larger body types, and even married/in a relationship women, as long as it is drama free. Everything we do needs to be legal. You need to be clean, disease free, and dont smoke (at least when with me). I don't smoke, drink or do drugs. You can drink when you’re with me, but no drugs.
I’m looking for an indoor experience. Meaning I’m not generally interested in spending time going to the movies and/or bars. We can meet the first time in a public place for coffee but after that I’d want to be with you in a bedroom or a hotel suite just enjoying each others company. I love to chat, I’m a good listener, I love to have deeper thoughtful conversations too.
I can host and travel around DFW and even Texas if its worth it. Distance is not an issue to me. In fact I love to spend time cruising the roads with you sharing our music playlists lol.
Let me know how my post came across, and how you feel about it. If you are looking for what I’m looking for message me or send me a chat.
Its around 68 degrees in North Texas and will be like this for the rest of the weekend. This is a serious/real post and i’m looking for a woman who is as serious/real.