I have a lot of health issues since having COVID and my quality of life has suffered. I feel like I’m declining more as time goes on and don’t know if I will be able to work or function if things continue. I feel like if I could get in with a doctor who can help treat my symptoms I will be a lot better but I haven’t found a good PCP and my rheumatologist and neurologist haven’t been helpful.
I started looking into direct primary care because at least then I would have a physician to be available, have time for me, and help with documentation for work accommodations and refills when I can’t see specialists for months. All of the cheaper ones aren’t taking patients. I found one after a lot of research today and I’m wondering if it’s worth doing. It’s a lot of money I will have to borrow from a family member and pay back over time. At my salary it would probably take me 3-4 years to pay back. But I’ve spent just about this much between copays and hospital visits with insurance… for no answers or treatment.
I know direct pay opens up more opportunity for help since doctors don’t have to fight with insurance. So basically I’m just wondering if I should invest in it. For one year it costs $6,950. This includes an in-depth work up (list below all included in cost except genetic which insurance will pay) and three hour consult. After that you get unlimited access to the doctor for the rest of the year and have their cell number for them to be on call for you. The doctor is triple board certified in internal medicine, oncology, and hematology but also has autoimmune knowledge. Thoughts?
• Complete medical history and full physical examination
• Stroke risk assessment and prevention
• Cardiovascular health, focused on heart attack, high blood pressure and organ damage prevention
• Medication review
• Lung function testing that examines how well the lungs work
• Skin cancer screening and examination
• Breast exam
• Prostate Exam
• Abdominal and pelvic organ health, aimed to screen for and detect early evidence of organ stress/damage or cancer
• Endocrine health and lipid profiling, in addition to standard-of-care screening, we also look at early markers of cholesterol and thyroid elevation, inflammation and oxidation, which can be elevated before the traditional ones suggest a problem
• Liver metabolic function and kidney function, examining liver inflammation, swelling, and ability to metabolize/excrete toxins
• Markers of systemic inflammation and cell turn-over and their effects on cardiovascular disease, hematologic and liver health
• Urinary function and composition, looking at blood, stones/crystals, protein, inflammation and infection.
• Screening for anemia (low red blood cells) and other blood abnormalities
• Prostate screening for men 40+ (PSA)
• Unlimited personalized access to the doctor and the services provided for the duration of your membership.
• Personalized overall health and lifestyle assessment with guidance to achieve your personal health-related goals.
• Nutritional evaluation and counseling
• Fitness evaluation
• Stress management and mindfullness recommendations
• Sleep health assessment
• Vitamin and supplement review
• Carotid Artery Ultrasound – which are the main arteries supplying blood to our brain, looking at markers of early inflammation, plaque and thickening and atherosclerosis as well as the evaluation of thyroid gland (nodules, consistency and inflammation).
• MRI of the abdomen — a safe and painless procedure to look at the health of your internal organs.
• Advanced bloodwork panel — an advanced bloodwork panel including over 30 different parameters.
• EKG (electric picture and patterns of the heart)
• Oxygen saturation levels
• Cardiac stress test—In a stress test, a patient walks on a treadmill that makes their heart work progressively harder. An electrocardiogram (ECG) monitors patient’s heart's electrical rhythms. The doctor also measures blood pressure and monitors whether a patient has symptoms like chest discomfort or fatigue. Abnormalities in blood pressure, heart rate, or ECG or worsening physical symptoms could point to coronary artery disease (CAD): fatty deposits (plaques) that reduce the flow of oxygen-rich blood to the heart muscle.
• Colonoscopy— is a procedure that is used to look for cancer of the colon (bowel cancer) or colon polyps, which are growths on the lining of the colon that can sometimes be cancerous or may grow to be cancerous.
• Upper and/or Capsule Endoscopy— is a procedure used to visually examine your upper digestive system with a tiny camera on the end of a long, flexible tube or a special bullet-like camera. A specialist in diseases of the digestive system (gastroenterologist) uses an endoscopy to diagnose and, sometimes, treat conditions that affect the esophagus, stomach and beginning of the small intestine (duodenum).
• Bone density test— a non-invasive test that measures bone mineral density to assess the risk of fracture or osteoporosis and bone strength.
• Audiometry— a painless, noninvasive hearing test that measures a person's ability to hear different sounds, pitches, or frequencies.
• 3D Mammogram and Ultrasound of the Breast— a more advanced version of a traditional mammogram that creates more detailed, refined images with targeted ultrasound examination of potentially concerning areas
• Breast MRI— a non-invasive, radiation-free imaging procedure, designed to detect early changes in the breast tissue, with over 90% sensitivity for early breast cancer detection.
• CT of the Lungs— a non-invasive form of imaging, uses a specialized form of X-ray, coupled with computer technology, to produce cross-sectional images (slices) of soft tissue, organs, bone and blood vessels in any area of the body. CT lung cancer screening has revolutionized medical imaging by providing more detailed information than conventional X-rays, improving lung cancer diagnostics
• MRI of the Ovaries/Uterus or Prostate—a non-invasive and painless form of imaging that helps create detailed cross-sectional images of pelvic organs and internals structures without the use of potentially harmful ionizing radiation.
• MRI of the Abdomen and Pelvis — a non-invasive and painless form of imaging that helps create detailed cross-sectional images of the organs and internals structures without the use of potentially harmful ionizing radiation.
• Functional Brain Scan—allows the clinician to combine brain measurements with standard assessments. Gives a snapshot of the brain function to track attention, memory and cognitive function to track brain performance. Provides information about a patient’s emotional state. Serial testing is promising to be an extremely useful tool to gauge patients’ risk and predisposition to developing dementia and neurocognitive decline. As the brain declines with age, trauma, depression and other conditions, our brain scan helps a patient see how they compare to the average in the same age category.
• Microbiome testing— looks at the entire bacterial, fungal, and viral composition in your gut. Since about 80% of our immune system resides in our gut, optimal health requires us to have a healthy digestive system. The microbiome test allows to identify bacteria, viruses, and yeast microorganisms residing in your gut that can be responsible for bloating, gas, diarrhea, constipation as well as celiac and “IBS” problems. Gives your physician the necessary information to develop a personalized diet and probiotic regimen to improve inflammation, gastrointestinal symptoms, energy levels and your immune system.
• Food sensitivity testing— Identifies foods and food-chemical sensitivities that can contribute to the overall inflammation and play a role in gastrointestinal, neurological, dermatological issues as well as mood/general wellbeing.
• Genetic testing— extensive analysis of the 80+ genes associated or linked to cancer and other critical illness
• HPV oral screening— a new painless type of test that helps to establish presence of HPV virus in the saliva which may increase one’s risk for oral cancer
• Cancer liquid biopsy—A test done on a sample of blood to look for cancer cells or tumor DNA that maybe circulating in the blood; if detected, these pieces of tumor DNA can further predict cancer’s site of origin for further testing and evaluation. This way a liquid biopsy may be used to help detect cancer at a very early stage.
• Urine biopsy— a relatively new screening modality that is successful in screening for prostate cancer by using a urine sample.
• Complete genome sequencing—this is the most comprehensive picture of your entire genetic code, that includes an analysis of 22,000+ expressed genes (exome), with an advanced profiling of over 1000 genes associated with cancer predisposition, genes related to cardiovascular, autoimmune and neurological conditions. This test may be of additional help for patients with atypical, difficult-to-diagnose symptoms, by focusing our attention on your top genetic/molecular predispositions.

A few days ago i broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years upon finding out he is a serial cheater.
over the years he gave me some stuffed animals, my favorite one was a build a bear who he named "sweetness"- (after me, because i was his sweetness) each day has been so horrible, but today i got home and seeing sweetness on my table absolutely killed me.
i looked outside and the neighbor was out playing with her little toddler son. i spontaneously went out and asked if he liked stuffed animals, and presented him with sweetness and some others. he was so excited and immediately took them and said thank you. when i came back in for some reason i completely broke down crying. this is the most painful experience i've ever been through and i know it would do me no good to keep those kinds of things, im so happy i could make that boys day but at the same time it's just a reminder of this loss im enduring.
please tell me it gets better, because i am absolutely miserable.

I have a current Passport A (Serial A123). I forgot I had it and applied to renew online with an Old Passport B (Serial 456). I spent 3 months talking to multiple people and they check my Passport A and say its still valid and I'm good to travel. The Online application will be rejected and its fine because my Passports have different serial numbers. I just got an email today saying that My Online Passport renewal was approved and new passport shipped. Does this mean my current Valid Passport A is not valid anymore? How screwed am I?
I am traveling in 2 days.

For over 20 years, audiences watched the adventures of a boy named Timmy Turner and his fairy godparents, Cosmo and Wanda. Fast paced and funny, The Fairly OddParents asked the question, “What if a kid had an unlimited number of wishes at his disposal?” and answered that question with, “He’d get into trouble, constantly.”
Now who would we get if the same fairy godparents took a new kid under their wing? A kid whose last name isn’t Turner? More hijinx and comedy, of course!
You might be wondering, why make yet another Fairly OddParents? Aren’t a series of shorts, 10 seasons, a live-action series and 3 live-action films enough? Well, my friend, the answer is no. Absolutely not. You can never have too much magic!
An 11-minute comedy just like its predecessor, the new Fairly OddParents is going to retain the retro, absurdist, irreverent sitcom feel the original had, with some added poignancy, serialization, and a tighter focus on character. Gags will still abound but will also have a bit more of an emotional core.
Timmy’s problems were external: evil babysitter and checked-out parents. Hazel’s challenges are more internal: life changes and becoming more comfortable in her identity. Teaming up with Cosmo and Wanda will give Hazel an opportunity to stand out and become the big, bold, hero she longs to be! And it’ll all begins… with a wish.
Hazel’s story and wishes will go further into what makes her tick, connecting to audiences with both humor and heart. Hazel’s journey will be one of self-acceptance and confidence. She starts the beginning of the series daunted by her new circumstances, but thanks to Cosmo and Wanda’s magical guardianship, and the new experiences and adventures she goes on via her wishes, she soon learns to put herself out there and just live life.
For Cosmo and Wanda, it’s about finding a new groove. They’re coming out of retirement and have decided to take on a monumental task in godparenting again! But why? In short, because they love it.
Godparenting is their calling, and they’re good at it. (At least Cosmo thinks so – though that ain’t saying much!) But the world is different, and kids today are more self-aware than ever before. They’re encouraged to vocalize their emotions, inspire, create change, and question tradition.
Because of this, fairy godparenting looks different, wishes aren’t wishing like they used to, and they’re trying their best to adapt!
We’re setting out to tell a new story in a new town, to introduce the amazing Fairly OddParents world to a new audience, while keeping the wide-ranging, ageless humor that will appeal to everyone, regardless of whether they grew up on the original, for some hilarious family co-viewing goodness. So yeah, we’re making another Fairly OddParents. To quote Timmy Turner, “What could possibly go wrong?!

The Story

Ten-year-old Hazel Wells has just moved to the big city of Dimmadelphia with her parents, so her dad could start a new job. On top of being in a new city, it’s the first time she’s been without her brother, who’s just started his first year of college. A bright, fun, creative kid, Hazel’s new situation suddenly has her feeling unsure of herself. But all that changes when the pink-and-green-haired couple next door reveals they’re no ordinary neighbors, they’re Cosmo and Wanda, fairy godparents! And they’re coming out of retirement to make all of Hazel’s wishes come true!
When we last saw our beloved pink-and-green-headed fairy godparents, in The Fairly OddParents: Fairly Odder, they were godparenting their second generation of Turner children, but after so long with just one family, they made the decision to hang up their fairy crowns and retire. Surely no new child could rival the Turners in their hearts, so why even try?! Jump to 10,000 years of vacationing through time and space! Exploring the wonders of Ancient Rome before it collapsed! Hobnobbing with aristocracy in 18th century France! Journeying to the moons of Jupiter in the year 26,000 P.G., whatever P.G. stands for!
Now they’ve settled down – no longer in some kid’s fishbowl but posing as humans in the bustling city of Dimmadelphia, assuming the form of endearing, across-the-hall neighbors to the Wells. Mimicking human life, Cosmo and Wanda set their sights on a peaceful retirement, ready to live out the remainder of their fairy days in an apartment that secretly offers direct access to Fairy World! That is, until they meet Hazel and are reminded why they loved their old job so much in the first place. Not since Timmy has a kid so tugged on their heart strings, and the instinct to fairy godparent quickly consumes them. Soon, they find themselves as fidget toys on Hazel’s backpack, ooey gooey blobs in her lava lamp, and even assuming the form of human bellhop and concierge at a hotel Hazel wished for. But after 10,000 years of using their magic only on themselves, are they really ready to get back in the game?
(Spoiler: they’re not, but they’re going to do it anyway!)

Hazel Wells

Black 10 years old
Spunky, fun, curious, and hugely imaginative, Hazel Wells is a small fry in a big world! Like, literally, she’s small. A petite cutie pie. A li’l nugget. She’s our tiny hero with a huge heart!
Think for a moment… Have you ever been the smallest kid in class? You have to ask for help to reach things, every year you get paraded to the front line for the class picture, and you get a patronizing pat on the head every time you do a great job at something – and that’s if they even notice you! Just about every kid can relate to the frustration of feeling, well, small. So when Hazel Wells moves to the BIG city of Dimmadelphia on account of her dad taking on a new job and is forced to leave behind everything she once knew – her friends, her home, and her big brother, Antony – she’s left feeling smaller than ever before.
But that’s not about to stop her! In spite of her miniature stature, Hazel is bold! She’s enthusiastic about life and all its wonders, and is an adventurer who loves to explore and ask questions! It’s what makes her such a great wisher – she’s curious about people, and the world, and hungry to learn more about her place in it.
At the very start of the series, she’s feeling a little more on the introverted than extroverted side. She’s in a new town and trying her best to be happy about it, but she always felt her brother Antony was like her secret superpower. He was smart, kind, confident, and most importantly, BIG. Having Antony around was an instant “in'' with people at school. All her teachers already knew and loved him, mean kids knew she had a protector, and cool kids thought she was cool just by association. Without him, she’s like Linus without his blanket… Dumbo without his feather. Without him, she’s just… Hazel. And just in this moment at least, she doesn’t feel like that’s enough.
Being chosen by Cosmo and Wanda as their fairy godkid is just the push Hazel needs to bust out of her shell and blossom! Where Timmy’s wishes were often self-serving, Hazel, at times, cares too much about other people. A little empathy is great. An over-abundance of it can lead to mental fatigue and well, chaos. Making wishes (and mistakes) and learning from them will teach her to love and put herself first, and share that love with the rest of the world.
And once the wishing begins, look out, because just like with Timmy, Hazel’s wishes are driven by who she is… and by the fact that she is a CHILD. And children are nothing if not passionate and unpredictable! Hazel’s wishes (and their undoing) will come mainly from the following personality traits…
She’s smart!
Hazel has a bit of an intellectual edge and tends to overthink things, thanks to her brainy mom and dad, so her wishes will have an extra layer of smarts to them. However, the bit of knowledge behind the wish won’t necessarily make it a wise wish. Children are charmingly lacking in critical thinking skills! Apologies to any children reading this. It’s not your fault. Your brains just aren’t at that developmental stage yet. It’s okay, you’ll get there. Also, who sent you this bible? This bible is property of Nickelodeon Animation Studio and its parent company.
She’s caring!
Hazel cares deeply about other people and fairness (so help you if Hazel sees you cut in line or litter…), so a lot of her wishes come from her compassion and her sense of right and wrong. Unfortunately, 10-year-olds don’t have a great grasp on nuance and tend to think of justice in black-and-white, and that is gonna lead Hazel into some sticky wishes.
She’s quirky!
Hazel’s an oddball with unusual interests and instincts. Timmy’s whole thing was that he was an average boy with average boy wishes. Hazel is… different, partly from being around her dad’s studies of freaky happenings in human history, partly from being around her mom’s studies into the human mind (also freaky), but also… it’s just who she is! She’s a feeler, adaptable, and full of imagination. This manifests in myriad ways, from turning her thoughts into songs and singing them aloud; to having niche obsessions with nature; to collecting a bunch of twigs, putting googly eyes on the twigs, and naming all the twigs.
In conclusion, Hazel’s wishes and adventures will inevitably result in making a lot of beautiful, messy mistakes. Hazel will learn and grow from each of these mistakes, just as all kids do! But Hazel’s learning and growing is gonna be full of magic, making it a heck of a lot more fun than the slow, boring growth the rest of us had to put up with.

Cosmo and Wanda (Returning Characters… obviously)

White, ageless
Green-haired, daffy, and childlike, Cosmo is the same whirlwind of fun we already know and love, but a little wiser for his additional 10,000 years. He didn’t do it on purpose, but it’s hard not to pick up a thing or two about human nature when you’ve lived this long. Cosmo is still quite dimwitted and will muck up a wish five ways from Sunday, but he’ll accidentally give you an epiphany here and there too. This is a Cosmo that’s gotten a little zen.
Sassy and silly, yet pragmatic, Wanda has always been the brains of the godparenting operation, and that dynamic remains the same. Problem is, these brains have been out of the game for a loooooong time, so while she might once have seen the dangers in making Timmy a giant pair of cheese pants, now it’s not as clear to Wanda what might go wrong with a wish. Consequently, go wrong, it will!
Cosmo and Wanda have a very loving, supportive dynamic. They both have their flaws and are very different from one another, but they’re also each other’s biggest fans.
Cosmo and Wanda both provide aspects of what Hazel lost when Antony went away to college. In Cosmo, she has a silly playmate. Cosmo is drawn to Hazel because he immediately connects to her oddball nature. Someone who’s down to put googly eyes on twigs? That’s his kind of kid. Cosmo will help Hazel approach the world with more openness. In Wanda, she has a nurturing, non-parental guardian again. Wanda is drawn to Hazel because she’s a good-hearted mess. Cosmo sees Hazel putting googly eyes on twigs and thinks, “Fun!” But Wanda sees the emotional need behind Hazel giving those twigs rich emotional backstories and relationships. Wanda sees a sweet kid in need of companionship and guidance and helps Hazel work out her problems through play and fun.
Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda had a particular kind of friendship. Timmy and Cosmo were like a pair of unruly, id-driven goofballs with Wanda as the put-upon Mom. When a wish got out of control, Timmy needed heaps of pushing and prodding to clean up his messes. With Hazel, Cosmo, and Wanda, it will play out as a more evenly matched trio, with the comedy and dynamics shifting to fit the story and emotional core.
In a way, they’re all in need of help – Hazel because she’s new to making wishes, and Cosmo and Wanda because they’ve been on a 10,000-year break. Their dynamic will be about growing and getting better at magic together. Sometimes, a wish goes out of control because of Hazel, and Cosmo and Wanda must save the day. Sometimes, a wish goes out of control because of Cosmo, and Hazel and Wanda must save the day. And sometimes… well, you get it. All three will be the crisis and the solutions in a more equal measure

Angela Wells

Black, early 50s
Hazel’s mother Angela is an intelligent, poised therapist who’s accomplished all her life goals and continues to achieve. She has her own private practice and created a self-help therapy program, the “Be Wells Method.” Her “Be Wells” books and “Be Wells” therapy app are big hits with celebrities and on social media. Angela’s always taking inspiration from Hazel by osmosis. She’s constantly planning, strategizing, and developing her program, with plans to offer the “Wee Wells Method” for kids and “Deep Wells Method” for seniors.
Angela loves her daughter, but is such an expert in helping adults, she often forgets that Hazel isn’t one, and tries to tackle Hazel’s issues the same way she would help a grown woman in her 30s formulate a business plan. Sit down > offer coffee or tea > identify problem > offer solution. As a result, Hazel can spout a lot of therapy speak, but still has no idea how to deal with the basic kid things troubling her.
When Angela unknowingly gets caught up in the magic of Hazel’s wishes, she will always try to find a way to make it a “value add” to their home or her work. There are no problems in Angela’s world, only opportunities! Angela is a roll-with-the-punches kind of lady, so if Cosmo and Wanda suddenly fill the house with squid in a wish gone wrong, well then darn it, she’s gonna find a way to make calamari. She is often distracted and on the phone with her trusted assistant Beatrish via bluetooth earpiece. Which is great for Hazel, because keeping fairies a secret is a must!
Like Cosmo and Wanda, Angela and her husband, Marcus, are head over heels in love, despite having near opposite personalities. Their differences are often a point of hilarious conflict - Angela is minimalist, tidy, and thrives on structure, while Marcus is reckless and thrives in organized chaos. Both extroverts, their life has caused them to laugh, laugh, laugh through their challenges, always bringing them closer together.

Marcus Wells

Black, early 50s
Hazel’s father, Marcus, is a scatterbrained, but brilliant scholar, professor, and author who studies the intersection of human history, and the paranormal. He’s a guy who fully believes in every kind of magical/ mystical/inexplicable occurrence (witches, werewolves, ghosts, alien encounters, etc.), but will talk your ear off with the scientific explanation for each.
The Wellses have moved to Dimmadelphia so Marcus could take a teaching position at the Galax Institute, a small (unaccredited) institution of higher learning that focuses its curriculum on the “pseudosciences” (though, of course, that’s not how they refer to their subjects). What Marcus doesn’t know is all the evidence he’s chronicled over his career about paranormal events throughout history, has actually been fairy events throughout history.
His work will sometimes bring him dangerously close to finding out the truth about fairies and Hazel will have to scramble to throw him off Cosmo and Wanda’s sparkly trail. Unlike Mr. Crocker of the original series, however, Marcus’ continual near misses on finding out about the existence of fairies doesn’t come from a nefarious or selfish place, but an altruistic love of history and the truth. Marcus isn’t trying to steal anyone’s fairies; he’s just devoted to learning. Doesn’t mean we can have him in on the secret though! There are still Da Rules after all!
Marcus sees his daughter as being very special and even important to the world. While. Angela tries to analyze Hazel as an adult, Marcus hopes Hazel will become a leader in his field, often sharing newspaper clippings with her featuring unusual sightings and unexplained phenomena. He even sometimes does activities and exercises with her he hopes might encourage any possible latent supernatural talents within her, like telekinesis or mind-reading.

Antony Wells

Black, 18 years old
Hazel’s brother, Antony, is a smart, cool kid who’s going places. He’s an All-American, 4.0 track star. He also plays the oboe and rides a dirt bike. What doesn’t he do?! Antony is beyond smart and carries a quiet confidence – truly the mellowest of his family members. He can hold court on any topic from politics, to anime, to music theory. He is very protective of his younger sister and would do absolutely anything for her. He’s always been like a combination best friend/third parent to Hazel, but now that he’s off to college, he’s finding his way and making a new life separate from his oddball family.
We won’t meet Antony for a while – since his absence was the catalyst to Hazel needing Cosmo and Wanda, we can’t just bring the kid home for visits all the time. At the beginning of the series, he will only be present as an unseen living legend, which we’ll have some fun with by teasing the audience with only tiny glimpses – always out of frame, out of focus, present only in stories Hazel tells friends or in Angela and Marcus bragging about his college progress. Antony is a dream-come-true big brother, and he is sorely missed by Hazel. We all wish we had an Antony. We’ll meet him someday, but until then, the legend of Antony’s greatness will grow and grow.

Dale Dimmadome (Returning Character)

White, 40s
Dale is the long-lost son of Doug Dimmadome– billionaire, real estate tycoon, and owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome. When we last saw Dale, he was barefoot, in tattered clothes, and working in a sweatshop underneath Vicky’s lemonade stand.
Dale is now the tall, brooding heir to the Dimmadome fortune, and CEO of Dimmadome Gl0bal, the largest tech company in the world. Whereas his father was a haughty businessman clad in all white and a 10-gallon hat, Dale is a socially awkward genius, with slicked hair and a thirst for the next revolutionary tech breakthrough. The only thing bigger than Dale’s staunch demeanor is the chip on his shoulder – which is somewhat understandable, after being abandoned by his wealthy father for so many years.
Bit by bit, Dale will factor in as an adult antagonist to Hazel, Cosmo, and Wanda. Hazel’s wishes will sometimes leave a mark on the world, and Dale’s obsession with breaking new tech ground will have him take notice of some of these things, eventually making him a threat to Fairy World. But for now, he’s just an emotionally distant dad setting a bad example for his son, who will be Hazel’s first main antagonist.

Devin “Dev” Dimmadome

White, 10 years old
Dale Dimmadome’s son and frequent antagonist to Hazel (as stated above). Dev is in the same class as Hazel, giving her a front row seat to Dev’s raging sense of entitlement. Coming from money and seeing how his dad often operates “above the rules” as founder and CEO of his corporation, Dimmadome Gl0bal, Dev mimics that behavior at school – even going as far as having lunch delivered to class so he doesn’t have to walk to the cafeteria where the “peasants” eat.
Dev is smart as a whip and has fully embraced the need for technology, just like his father. His two drone babysitters, Au Pair 1 and Au Pair 2 accompany him wherever he goes and cater to his every beck and call (almost like a Siri or Alexa, but on the go!). On the inside though, he’s a lonely child yearning for his father’s attention. Somewhat like the wealthy Remy Buxaplenty of the original series, but with layers.
Hazel and Dev Dimmadome start as antagonists, but as he gets lonelier over the course of the season, he softens and grows

Season One Arc: Part 1 - Episodes 1-10

Most of Season One will focus on Hazel’s growth and her episodic adventures with Cosmo and Wanda. Some serialization will come into play with her antagonist Dev, as the two go from enemies to friends. The Season One, Part One finale, however, will introduce Dev’s dad, Dale Dimmadome, as a more serious antagonist, when Hazel appears in his data as a consumer anomaly, the only kid who isn’t addicted to his new app because she doesn’t need to buy things, she has fairy godparents granting her every wish! And Dale’s bad behavior in the finale will finally tip Dev into full needy child mode, one who is granted his very own godparent: a fully grown POOF (now Periwinkle a.k.a. Peri), Cosmo and Wanda’s son!

Season One Arc: Part 2 - Episodes 11-20

Hazel’s fun, episodic adventures with Cosmo and Wanda continue. Meanwhile, Peri struggles with how to be a good godparent to Dev, and Dale continues to research Hazel, eventually coming to learn about magic and fairies. Convinced it would make him the richest person who ever lived (imagine being able to use magic to sell people things!), he sets his sights on conquering Fairy World, with the help of classic FOP villains, the Pixies! In our Season One, Part Two finale, it’ll be up to Hazel, Cosmo, and Wanda to save the day!

I lost my AirPods charging case today, went back to the restaurant, and they had a slightly more beat up one.
I checked the serial number, and it was a match, but the model was not the same. Could it have been my case?

I registered my SSD today with the serial number on it, so the serial number is valid. But the warranty info page shows description "WDS100T3X0E-00B3N0,PCIe NVMe 1T00,Polaris+, BiCS5 512Gb eX3 2P,M.2 2280,16D,Vulcan PC SN770,non-SED,WD Black". I am concerned about "BiCS5 512Gb", what is it? Does it mean my SSD has been tampered with and I have been given a 512 GB SSD which fakes being 1 TB, or does this have nothing to do with actual storage on disk?

https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/our-40-favorite-watches-on-the-market-right-now
Article text:
"Well, folks. Here it is. The formation of a new canon.
The list you see here was compiled – after great deliberation – by the editors and staffers of Hodinkee to demonstrate how we view watch collecting today.
Of all the timepieces currently in production, these are the 40 we think matter most. The ones we'd buy ourselves or recommend to our friends.
They're watches that stand for something or represent a certain superlative – for instance, the best chronograph. The most coveted design piece. The most badass diver. The strongest value proposition.
The Hodinkee 40 recognizes modern classics at every price point, as well as innovations that continue to push the industry forward. Prices start at $50 and go all the way up to $1 million. From quartz movements to mechanical wonders to the undisputed top-of-the-line smartwatch, our selections represent the breadth of contemporary collecting.
The only limitations we placed on ourselves when making the list were that: (1) every watch is currently in production, and (2) none are a numbered limited edition. With these restrictions we had to exclude a number of our favorites, but we wanted the list to be useful – watches that are actually on the market, right now. Sure, some are hard to get. But every one is worth knowing about.
We plan to update this list once or twice a year, as new releases blow our minds. That way it's a living document – you can bookmark it or share it, and know it's always up to speed with our evolving tastes and the vagaries of the market.
One more thing: You'll notice this list is in alphabetical order. That's because we want your help ranking the Hodinkee 40. There's a poll at the end of this article. Please vote. In April, we'll reveal the results and crown the people's champ.
With no further ado, the inaugural Hodinkee 40.
A. Lange & Söhne 1815 Chronograph
It just might be the world's best modern chronograph
📷
No, it's not as historically important as the Datograph, but the 1815's slimmed-down profile means it's more wearable. In 2017, Lange introduced a white gold version combined with a black dial, the 1815 we'd been waiting for all along. If you're the type of person who's regularly looking at high-end chronographs, this white metal/black dial combination is exactly what makes your heart – and savings – turn to mush. And with the 1815 Chronograph, the aesthetics are only half the story. Flip the watch over and you'll see Lange's caliber L951.5, the finest serially produced manual-wind chronograph being made today. It's got all the technical goodies you'd expect – column wheel, vertical clutch, jumping minute counter – but it's mostly discussed because it looks so damn good. Aficionados say the movement's depth makes it look like a mini-city, and it's one I wouldn't mind getting lost in. –Tony Traina
The white gold Lange 1815 chronograph measures 39.5mm by 11mm thick. The manual-wind caliber L951.5 features 60 hours of power reserve. For more, visit A. Lange & Söhne.
Apple Watch Ultra
The smartest smartwatch ever made
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Sometimes things are popular for a good reason. Adele has a great voice. Cheeseburgers are delicious. The Apple Watch is a useful tool that makes a lot of people's lives easier. Last year's Apple Watch Ultra built on what worked in previous models and added a handful of features – many useful (better battery life, temperature sensors, emergency siren) and some frivolous (new faces!) – which is kind of the crux of watch enthusiasm, no? In an industry where product changes can sometimes be as baffling as they are frustrating, the Apple Watch pushes us forward to places no timepiece has gone before. –Nora Taylor
The Apple Watch Ultra features a titanium case measuring 49mm. MSRP: $799. For more, visit Apple.
Audemars Piguet Royal Oak ‘Jumbo’ Ref. 16202
The integrated bracelet icon that needs no introduction
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Nowadays, you can find countless variations of the Royal Oak. In 1972, there was only one: the "Jumbo." Today, it's still the most important Royal Oak, if not the most important sport watch, full stop. In 2022, Audemars Piguet updated and improved the Royal Oak Jumbo for its 50th anniversary, introducing the 16202. The reference didn't bring dramatic changes, but when we're talking about the Royal Oak that's not what we want anyway. AP added a new, modern caliber with the specs we've come to expect from a sport watch, but kept the external dimensions the exact same. If you were pressed to choose only one modern AP, this is still the one. –Danny Milton
The Audemars Piguet Royal Oak "Jumbo" Ref. 16202ST.OO.1240ST.01 measures 39mm x 8.1mm, and 50m of water resistance. MSRP: $33,200. For more, visit Audemars Piguet.
Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Black Ceramic 34
This one's for the ladies…and the fellas
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Audemars Piguet sure knows how to deliver on the unisex watch front. When this 34mm black ceramic watch was released back in the summer of 2021, it changed the game for all genders. Finally, a watch that was thoroughly modern in execution, yet conveniently sized for all of us who prefer things on the smaller side – a compact, jet-black, all-ceramic watch, complete with the elegantly slim caliber 5800, supplied by Vaucher. Let's hear it for form AND function. If it weren't a limited edition, the Carolina Bucci limited edition – another 34mm black ceramic Royal Oak, but with a subtle rainbow dial, might've been on this list. Every female collector I know is completely enamored with it. –Malaika Crawford
The Black Ceramic Royal Oak Ref. 77350CE.OO.1266CE.03.A measures 34mm x 8.8mm thick and has an MSRP of $53,000. For more, visit Audemars Piguet.
Breitling Aerospace
SuperQuartz is just plain super
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A true '80s baby, the Breitling Aerospace launched as a quirky quartz take on the traditional pilot's watch style. The modern Aerospace EVO is a souped-up Chronograph with a minute repeater (surprise!), countdown timer, second time zone, alarm, and calendar. Still quartz-powered (though way more normal-looking in today's landscape) the Aerospace is powered by Breitling's chronometer-certified SuperQuartz caliber, which Breitling says is 10 times more accurate than standard quartz. Chock full of features, long-lasting, and designed to look like nothing else in the lineup, this model may not be as famous as its Breitling siblings. But in our minds the Aerospace is still a star. –Nora Taylor
The Breitling Aerospace features a titanium case measuring 43mm and uses a SuperQuartz movement with a chronograph, day, date, countdown timer, second time zone, alarm, and minute repeater. For more, visit Breitling.
Bulgari Octo Finissimo Perpetual Calendar
The world's thinnest perpetual calendar
📷📷Octo Finissimo Perpetual Calendar Titanium
Few brands have been able to take a watch and make it a platform for a singular groundbreaking achievement. For Bulgari and the Octo Finissimo, breaking records is just another day at the office. It all started in 2014, when Bulgari set the record for the world's thinnest tourbillon. Today it's 2021's Octo Finissimo Perpetual Calendar that feels like the standard-bearer. Just 5.8mm thick, it features an automatic in-house movement that clocks in at just 2.75mm tall – and that ruthlessly knocked Audemars Piguet off the top spot for the thinnest perpetual calendar, a title it's held ever since. With unmistakable design language, titanium case, and an integrated bracelet, the watch wears comfortably and shockingly light. And you literally cannot top its horological prowess. –Mark Kauzlarich
The Bulgari Octo Finissimo Perpetual Calendar has a titanium case measuring 40mm x 5.8mm. It's powered by Bulgari's automatic in-house perpetual calendar caliber BVL 305, 2.75mm thick. MSRP: $71,000. For more, visit the Hodinkee Shop.
Bulgari Serpenti (Yellow Gold)
Drop-dead gorgeous
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I dare you to find a watch sexier than the Bulgari Serpenti. The yellow gold double-twirl wins every time. From the way its sinuous form grips your arm to the ribbed texture of the Tubogas bracelet and the subtle flash of diamonds on the bezel, the sum of these qualities just exude heady Italian glamor.
Not all watches win awards for mechanical prowess; we think perfect design like this is equally worthy of celebration. The Serpenti has seen all sorts of twists and turns, it has morphed into multiple variations, with different metals, sizes, and even complications (tiny tourbillons!). But this model remains the most outstanding. If a yellow-gold Serpenti was good enough for Elizabeth Taylor, it's good enough for the rest of us. –Malaika Crawford
The Bulgari Serpenti Tubogas features a 35mm 18-karat yellow gold curved case set with diamonds and a double-spiral 18-karat bracelet. For more, visit Bulgari.
Cartier Crash
An asymmetrical masterpiece that's more coveted than ever
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No legacy watch has had as prolific of a rise over the past few years as the Cartier Crash. Five years ago, a vintage Crash was a weird 1960s relic that sold for about $30,000 at auction, cared about by only a small group of in-the-know collectors. Slowly, then seemingly suddenly, the Crash was everywhere. Public figures were wearing vintage Crashes, and every real-deal collector started paying attention to the model. So did Cartier: In 2018, it brought the Crash back to its lineup to celebrate the reopening of its London boutique, where the watch was born in 1967. The new Crash is still about as rare as the original: Cartier only produces one a month, and you can bet they're reserved for your favorite collector's favorite collector. Today we see the Crash as a timeless design that represents everything Cartier is, totally singular and creatively unmatched. –Tony Traina
The Cartier Crash ref. WGCH0006 features a yellow-gold case measuring 22.5mm x 38.5mm. One piece is made per month, exclusively for the Cartier London boutique.
Cartier Panthère (Yellow Gold)
Yes, we are aware of the Tank. Right now, we prefer this cool kitty
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The Cartier Panthere in yellow gold is an unimpeachable crowd pleaser. It has an easy-to-manage quartz movement, a beautifully crafted linked bracelet, blue sword hands, Roman numerals, rail track minute counter, and sapphire crown. It is a simple elegance that doesn't overwhelm a beginner but still speaks to a seasoned veteran. Initially released in the '80s as a delicate response to the decade's opulence – more party-ready than a Tank and more blingy than a Must – the Panthère has aged into an classic all its own. –Nora Taylor
The Panthère de Cartier measures 23mm x 30mm and uses a quartz movement. MSRP: $21,600. For more, visit Cartier.
Chopard Alpine Eagle 36
A modern sport watch that soars above the rest
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A beautifully finished automatic steel sport watch clocking in at 36mm just over $10,000? Where do I sign up? The Alpine Eagle is Chopard's entry into the steel sport watch boom of the past few years, but deeply rooted in its own history – taking cues from the long-gone St. Moritz but weaving in its modern manufacturing know-how. Chopard's own abrasion-resistant Lucent Steel A223 case surrounds an in-house, COSC-certified automatic caliber. Its good looks don't end there – many fans, including my Hodinkee compatriots, sing the praises of the watch's three-link integrated bracelet. The steel sport watch nest is crowded, but the Alpine Eagle is an excellent choice for collectors looking to soar above the ordinary. –Nora Taylor
The Chopard Alpine Eagle 36 has a steel case with 100m of water resistance. It uses Chopard's in-house COSC-certified caliber 09.01-C with a 42-hour power reserve. For more, visit the Hodinkee Shop.
Doxa Sub 300 Professional
A quirky cult classic diver – in orange!
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The orange Professional Doxa Sub 300 is the modern expression of a charming tool watch design that dates back to 1967 – a time when sex was safe and diving was dangerous. Cousteau vibes abound, and nothing looks like, or wears like, a Doxa Sub 300 with its cushion case, bubble crystal, twin-scale no-decompression bezel, tiny hour hand, and fun-loving orange dial. For my money (and penchant for dive watches), the Doxa Sub 300 is among the coolest sport watches ever made. The design has aged beautifully and packs more charm per millimeter than you'll find in just about any other diver. –James Stacey
The Doxa Sub 300 measures 42.5mm and 13.4 thick. It features a COSC-certified automatic ETA caliber, screw-down crown, and 300 meters of water resistance. MSRP: $2,490. For more, visit Doxa.
F.P. Journe Chronomètre à Résonance
The defining work of this generation's master independent watchmaker
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There might not be a better watchmaking story on the Hodinkee 40 than the F.P. Journe Chronomètre à Résonance. While François-Paul Journe has produced more complicated watches in the past (like his chiming Sonnerie Souveraine) or even present (the Astronomic is one of the most complicated on the market), the Résonance has its roots in a phenomenon first observed in the 1600s. Some of history's greatest watchmakers have pursued the phenomenon, but none have mastered it like Journe. The double-dialed dual timezone display hints at the magic of the movement inside – two balances that beat side-by-side, unconnected, but in sync, with each of their vibrations harmonizing to create an incredibly accurate movement, appropriate for a man and brand obsessed with accuracy and pushing watchmaking to its technical limits. –Mark Kauzlarich
The F.P. Journe Chronomètre à Résonance features Journe's Caliber 1520 which uses two independent escapements and balances. Pricing starts at $136,700 in rose gold. For more, visit F.P. Journe.
G-Shock DW5600
The quintessential G-Shock
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If you are not a watch nerd and just need a simple watch that's durable and accurately tells the time, then get yourself a G-Shock DW5600. If you are a watch nerd and need a simple watch that's durable and accurately tells the time, then you could also use a G-Shock DW5600. Basically anyone and everyone should own this watch. It's 200m water resistant, has a timer, stopwatch, alarm clock, and even a calendar. And maybe the best feature of them all is: It has a light! Pound for pound, feature for feature, this watch superbly balances real ruggedness with everyday wearability. And you get all of the above for less than a hundred bucks. –Brandon Menancio
The G-Shock DW5600 has a resin case measuring 49mm x 43mm. It has an MSRP of $74.95 but can frequently be found cheaper at various retailers. For more, visit Casio.
Grand Seiko SBGA413
The Snowflake, with a subtle pink twist
📷📷Heritage Spring Drive Four Seasons Spring U.S. Exclusive SBGA413
The Grand Seiko SBGA413, aka Shunbun, is the quintessential watch from the largest luxury watch brand in the East. Sure, the SBGA211, aka the Snowflake, initially grabbed the world's attention, but the Shunbun is a bestseller in its own right. It has Grand Seiko's nearly proprietary Spring Drive movement that provides quartz-level accuracy and a seconds hand that sweeps smoothly across a subtly textured light pink dial inspired by scattered cherry blossom petals. Let's not forget that Zaratzu-polished feather-light titanium case and bracelet. Japanese craftsmanship meets Japanese nature. It's sublime. –Brandon Menancio
The Grand Seiko SBGA413 has a 40mm titanium case and uses a 9R65 Spring Drive caliber that is accurate to +/-15 seconds per month. MSPR: $6,600. For more, visit the Hodinkee Shop.
Hamilton Khaki Field Mechanical
The value-packed introduction to that manual-winding lifestyle
📷📷Khaki Field Mechanical 38mm Black Dial
A handful of familiar names are always bandied about as answers to the age-old question: "What should my first mechanical watch be?" And the Hamilton Khaki Field Mechanical is almost always at or near the top of that list. With a certain styling reminiscent of old military field watches, a slim 38mm case, and an incredibly useful 12- and 24-hour scale, the Khaki Field Mechanical takes faux-vintage to an accessible price point under 600 bucks. And it's not just an entry-level watch. Much like a G-Shock, you'll see this in collections that include Patek and Rolex. And if you're a newbie, this is your gateway to a future horological addiction. –Danny Milton
The stainless steel Hamilton Khaki Field measures 38mm and features the manual-wind H-50 (ETA 2801-2), with an 80-hour power reserve. MSRP: $595. For more, visit the Hodinkee Shop.
IWC Mark XX
Part pilot's watch, part field watch — it works all day, every day
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No other pilot's watch has quite the same history, dashing good looks and (relatively) modest luxury price point as the trusted IWC Mark XX. Since the Mark series came into its own with the Mark XI after WWII, the line has been a terrific option for anyone who wants a watch that's just as good on land as it is in the sky. With 100m of water resistance, a reasonable 40mm case, a simple dial layout that matches almost any attire, and a movement with a five-day power reserve, the Mark XX could even make the case for a one-watch collection. But who am I kidding? That's impossible! –Brandon Menancio
The IWC Mark XX measures 40mm x 10.8mm, with 100 meters of water resistance. It's powered by IWC's caliber 32111, produced by ValFleurier. $5,250 For more, visit IWC.
MB&F LM-101
A Legacy Machine from a magician and his friends
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Max Büsser & Friends (aka MB&F) don't make watches, they make machines. And while the brand's "Horological Machine" line with avant-garde style was its first, the "Legacy Machines" have taken off as an optimized blend of modern styling and traditional watchmaking. MB&F announced the LM-101 in 2014 with a comparatively affordable price, wearable 40mm size, and movement with a hairspring from friends at H. Moser & Cie. The movement was developed by independent watchmaking genius Kari Voutilainen and shown off through a dramatic domed crystal with a giant balance wheel floating over two enameled dials and a sunburst metal baseplate. The dial colors and metals have changed to keep the line fresh over the last nine years. If not for making something this wonderful, what are friends for? –Mark Kauzlarich
The MB&F Legacy Macine 101 measures 40mm and features a manual-wind movement developed by MB&F and designed and finished by Kari Voutilainen, displaying a three-dimensional flying balance wheel. For more, visit MB&F.
Nomos Tangente 38
The definitive Bauhaus watch
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The Tangente 38 is the Nomos model most representative of the brand in both design and execution. It's minimal, versatile, and none other than F.P. Journe has sung the praises of Nomos as an incredible watchmaking value at its price point. The Tangente works well on anyone, not just ol' F.P., constructed with strong design principles that make it feel refined and timeless. At its price range, it's hard to find competitors that offer in-house movements with the same level of finishing and build quality. –TanTan Wang
The Nomos Tangente 38 measures 6.6mm thick and features Nomos' in-house manual-winding Alpha movement with 43 hours of power reserve. MSRP: $2,330. For more, visit the Hodinkee Shop.
Omega Seamaster 300M
Bond…Omega Bond
📷📷Seamaster Diver 300M Co-Axial Master Chronometer 42mm Blue Dial On Bracelet
In 1993, Omega introduced the Seamaster Professional 300M, a modern take on the dive watch. The wave dial was an instant hit. Soon the blue Seamaster 300M even found its way onto James Bond's wrist. Over the past 30 years, Omega has never rested on the Seamaster's success, continuing to tweak the 300M for the better. The skeletonized hands have improved, the dial is now ceramic to match the bezel, and the movement is co-axial (not to mention a Master Chronometer). With each new generation the Seamaster 300M continues to cement its reputation as a classically styled but cutting-edge dive watch. It's simply one of the best modern divers around. –Mark Hackman
The Omega Seamaster 300M Co-Axial Master Chronometer measures 42mm x 13.5mm with 300m of water resistance. It uses Omega's METAS-certified automatic caliber 8800. MSRP: $5,600 on bracelet. For more, visit the Hodinkee Shop.
Omega Speedmaster Moonwatch Professional Hesalite
"Moonwatch" says it all
📷📷Speedmaster Moonwatch Professional Co-Axial Master Chronometer Chronograph 42mm Hesalite Crystal On Bracelet With Caliber 3861
Up until today, the list of essential watches according to Hodinkee wasn't a list at all – it was the Speedmaster Professional. "I'm not saying you have to keep it," Ben Clymer wrote in 2016, "but I really think each man or woman who loves watches owes it to themselves to own a manually wound, three-register Speedmaster at some point in their lives."
We still love it and always will. In 2016, the Speedmaster to own was a vintage example or a "Pre-Moon." But Ben and the vintage nerds didn't have the new-for-2021 Moonwatch equipped with Omega's superb caliber 3861. Incremental improvements over more than half a century have given us the ultimate modern Speedmaster. Go with the hesalite crystal if you're like me and want the old-school Moonwatch feel, though the "sapphire sandwich" is a nice way of Omega flexing. –Rich Fordon
The Omega Speedmaster Moonwatch Professional Co-Axial Master Chronometer Chronograph uses Omega's METAS-certified caliber 3861. It measures 42mm x 13.6mm and features 50m of water resistance; it has a Hesalite crystal and closed caseback. MSRP: $6,600 on bracelet. For more, visit the Hodinkee Shop.
Oris Big Crown Pointer Date Cal. 403
A tremendous movement with power for days
📷📷Big Crown Pointer Date Calibre 403
The Big Crown Pointer Date has been central to the Oris catalog since its introduction in 1938. In 2021, a refreshed Big Crown Pointer Date arrived with the in-house caliber 403, which boasts a five-day power reserve, resistance to magnetism, 10-year service interval, and better-than-COSC accuracy. A sleeker bezel (along with updated font and hands) pumped new life into the model. Oris remains one of the world's most beloved independent watchmakers, and this is the piece that represents both where it's been and where it's heading. –Mark Hackman
The Oris Big Crown Pointer Date features Oris' in-house automatic caliber 403 with a five-day power reserve. The steel case measures 38mm x 13mm and has 50m of water resistance. MSRP: $3,700. For more, visit the Hodinkee Shop.
Parmigiani Fleurier Tonda PF GMT Rattrapante
A sleek sport watch with an innovative complication
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During a time when just about every brand has its riff on a sport watch, Parmigiani does something truly original. The brand introduced its Tonda PF line in 2021, but the GMT Rattrapante from 2022 is what brought the collection into its own. The complication is an absolute joy to use – a button is discreetly hidden in the teardrop lug at 8 o'clock. Press it to advance the white gold hour hand, and a yellow gold hour hand is revealed below to track home time. Other than that, the GMT Rattrapante stays sleek, slim, and understated, the defining traits of the Tonda PF that've quickly made it a world-class sport watch. –Tony Traina
The Tonda PF GMT Rattrapante has a steel case measuring 40mm x 10.7mm with 60m of water resistance. It also features a guilloche blue dial and knurled platinum bezel. The caliber PF051 is a micro-rotor caliber with a*"split GMT" function for dual time zone display. MSRP: $27,000. For more, visit* Parmigiani Fleurier.
Patek Philippe Perpetual Calendar Chronograph 5270
The most important complication combination in high horology, now in-house
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The perpetual calendar chronograph is to Patek Philippe what the Daytona is to Rolex. And yet when it was introduced in 2011, the 5270 wasn't well-received. Sure, it was Patek's first perpetual calendar chronograph with an in-house caliber, but some thought the design was too big, too bulky, or just unbalanced. But over the past decade-plus, the 5270 has bettered its aesthetics to match the achievement that is Patek's in-house CH 29-535 PS Q. Today, the 5270 is offered in a trio of metals – yellow gold, rose gold (with matching rose gold bracelet), and 2022's platinum version. While it might not have the collector following of the previous references in Patek's all-important lineage (yet), there's no doubt that, as with all Patek perpetual calendar chronographs, it's only a matter of time. –Tony Traina
The Patek Philippe 5270 features the caliber CH 29‑535 PS Q, Patek's first in-house perpetual chronograph movement. It measures 41mm x 12.4mm and starts at $187,400. For more, visit Patek Philippe.
Patek Aquanaut 5167A
A modern sport watch that builds on Genta's legacy
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If you want a simple stainless steel sport watch from Patek Philippe in 2023, the Aquanaut is really your only option. Introduced in 1997, the Aquanaut is Patek's most recent attempt at a casual sport watch, complete with a tropic rubber strap. It's smaller and less expensive than the Nautilus, while still managing to capture the essence of Gérald Genta's design. The Aquanaut is not exactly a secret and remains difficult for mere mortals to buy at retail, but the demand is justified. Few watches have been as important to Patek's history over the past 25 years. –Tony Traina
The Patek Philippe Aquanaut 5167A-001 has a steel case measuring 40.8mm x 8.1mm that comes on a black rubber strap. It uses Patek's caliber 26‑330 SC with a 45-hour power reserve. MSRP: $24,250. For more, visit Patek Philippe.
Ressence Type 1 Slim
Design so good, it needs no introduction
📷📷Type 1 Slim White
The avant-garde Belgian watchmaker Ressence is one of the only brands confident enough not to slap its name on the dial – the design speaks for itself. Nothing else looks like a Ressence. Nothing else works like a Ressence. Nothing else has the audacity to introduce a whole new way of time telling like the Ressence Orbital Convecs System (which shortens to the acronym ROCS, and which does indeed rock). The watches are not easy to find, or to afford – and in models like the 46mm Type 5, they're also not easy to wear. But the Type 1 Slim shrinks and flattens the case size (by at least 4mm in each direction) and knocks 15 grand off the price. So even the bill is slimmer. –Nick Marino
The Ressence Type 1 Slim measures 42mm x 11mm and is water resistant to 100m. The orbital display system uses Ressence's automatic ROCS system to show the hours, minutes, seconds, and day of the week. For more, visit the Hodinkee Shop.
Richard Mille RM27 Series
A trophy watch, yes. But also a technical marvel that's so light it floats
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Richard Mille, the most divisive brand in horology, continues to rack up achievements in mechanical and material innovation. It has established an instantly recognizable design language. And the model you see here is the one we think best reflects the virtues of a watchmaker that routinely charges seven figures a pop. Would we actually wear it? Hell yes, we would.
The RM 27 series was made in partnership with tennis champ and RM brand ambassador Rafael Nadal, specifically developed for Rafa to wear while he plays in matches. The original RM27 blew our minds when it floated on water in 2010. Then in 2020, the latest RM27-04 upped the ante with its ability to resist accelerative forces in excess of 12,000 Gs, all while only weighing a mere 30 grams, including the strap! Which works out to about $33,000 per gram. –Malaika Crawford
For more on the Richard Mille RM27 series, visit Richard Mille.
Rolex Day-Date 36 Ref. 128238
The dress watch to end all dress watches
📷📷Day-Date President 18238
It's as perfect as an Eames chair. As stylish as a 911. As beautiful as Audrey Hepburn. As dignified as Sidney Poitier. As immutable as the laws of physics. With its applied hour markers, supreme legibility, fluted bezel, champagne dial, and general bearing of elegance, the Day-Date looks almost exactly the same today as it did 40 years ago, which is the point. We are all for progress. But to change something this perfect would be a crime. –Nick Marino
The Rolex Day-Date ref. 128238 has a yellow-gold case measuring 36mm x 12.1mm with 100m of water resistance. It's powered by Rolex's COSC-certified caliber 3255 with 70 hours of power reserve. MSRP: $35,000. For more, visit Rolex.
Rolex ‘Rainbow’ Daytona
The planet's most exciting gem-set timepiece — and the rainbow every other brand is still chasing
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Rainbows are everywhere in watchmaking these days, and the modern lineage begins with Rolex. We would argue that it also ends with Rolex. One thing's for sure: The Rainbow Daytona sets the benchmark for gem-setting in watchmaking. The quality of craftsmanship and calibration, the gradient of hand-selected sapphires, it's all so good…and so Rolex.
Lest anyone think this is "just" about the bling (not that there's anything wrong with that), remember that lapidary is no easy feat when it comes to watches. Up to 90 percent of each colored stone is disposed of in order to ensure they all fit perfectly into the gradient setting. And then there's the case, a rose-gold stunner even for those of us who prefer yellow.
The Daytona ref. 116595RBOW has forced the entire industry to reposition its approach to the much-neglected discipline of gem-setting. It now has many imitators, but it remains in a league of its own. –Malaika Crawford
The Rolex Daytona ref. 11659 RBOW has a 40mm case in Everose gold. It features pink gold crystal subdials, 36 baguette-set sapphires in the bezel, 56 diamonds set into the lugs and case, and colored 11 sapphire indexes. MSRP: $96,600. Since not even Rolex will tell you much more, check out our hands-on with the Rainbow Daytona.
Rolex Submariner 124060 No Date
The platonic ideal of a modern watch
📷📷Submariner 124060
Since its introduction in the early 1950s, the Rolex Submariner has become synonymous with the word "wristwatch." It is both never-changing and ever-changing. Most of us who wear one will never go diving, but Rolex continues to finesse the design, making it more capable as the years go on. Nowadays, you'll find the Sub with a ceramic bezel for increased scratch resistance. The case has been upsized to 41mm, but that size increase actually worked to slim down the overall profile. It's a sexy watch, it's a robust watch, and it could be the only watch you would ever need – especially in no-date form. Come on, it needs no further justification. It's the freakin' Rolex Submariner. –Danny Milton
The Rolex Submariner ref. 124060 has a stainless steel case measuring 41mm x 12mm with 300m of water resistance. It's powered by Rolex's COSC-certified caliber 3230 with 70 hours of power reserve. MSRP: $9,100. For more, visit Rolex.
Seiko Alpinist
Not just for mountaineers
📷📷Prospex 'Alpinist' SPB121 With Green Dial On Brown Strap
When Seiko resurrected the Alpinist in three references in 2006, the green-dialed SARB017 took the watch enthusiast community by storm. Today, the modern SPB series Alpinist remains a value proposition with heritage and a beautiful dial design, plus the unique internal rotating compass bezel. The Alpinist can be an easy starter watch or a worthy addition to an already fleshed-out collection. We think it surpasses even the hallowed Seiko 5. With a multitude of dial colors to choose from (the green SBP121 is still our favorite), the Alpinist has established itself as a force in Seiko's current lineup. –TanTan Wang
The Seiko Alpinist SBP 117, 119, 121, 123, and SBP 209 measure 39.5mm x 13.2mm with 200m of water resistance. The Alpinist features Seiko's automatic caliber 6R35 with 70 hours of power reserve. MSRP: $725. For more, visit the Hodinkee Shop.
Seiko Prospex SPB317
Seiko and diver – two words that just go together
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You can't form a list of great watches without a Seiko diver, and the Prospex SPB317 is our pick — embodying so much of what we love about Seiko dive-watch design. The black dial offers a backdrop for a vintage-inspired handset with ample legibility and excellent lume. The wide steel case sits flat on your wrist with an offset crown at 4 o'clock. The bezel is just begging for a PADI certification and some bottom time. Even if you don't dive, a Seiko diver offers a huge amount of value and enjoyment to just about any watch enthusiast. And this is the best one out there. –James Stacey
The Seiko SBP317 measures 41mm x 12.3mm and is water resistant to 200m. It's powered by the automatic Seiko caliber 6R35 with a 70-hour power reserve. MSRP: $900. For more, visit Seiko.
Swatch x Omega MoonSwatch
The universe-altering collab that had fans lining up across the globe
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It's the watch that broke the internet and wasn't even sold online — a Swatch x Omega collaboration that turned a whole new generation into watch enthusiasts, and that was so popular upon release that the cops had to be called in to control the crowds. The piece itself is basically a Speedmaster in a Bioceramic (a.k.a. plastic) case. It comes in 11 colorful and celestial-themed designs. It costs less than $300 and remains one of the most challenging watches to buy at retail unless you don't care which model you purchase. We see fewer MoonSwatches on the street than we do Royal Oaks; a year after the first release, there's still an excitement to spotting one in the wild. –Danny Milton
The Omega MoonSwatch has a BioCeramic case measuring 42mm x 13.5mm. It retails for $260 at Swatch stores (if you can find one!). For more on the MoonSwatch, check out our Week on the Wrist.
TAG Heuer Aquaracer 200
Set it and forget it
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When this 40mm Aquaracer was released in 2022, one thought came to our mind: TAG Heuer, the Swiss entry-level brand, is back. This is the brand's stab at a watch for everybody. In retrospect, a 40mm TAG Heuer inspired by its first dive watches from the 1980s sounds so obvious (and it is!), but it was missing from the brand's catalog for far too long. Now, finally, we have one that can satisfy both hardcore enthusiasts and mass consumers, all for less than three grand. –Tony Traina
The TAG Heuer Aquaracer Professional 200 WBP2111 measures 40mm x 11mm. It has 200m of water resistance and is powered by TAG Heuer's automatic caliber 5. For more, visit the Hodinkee Shop.
Timex Q
A funky vintage reissue that's unashamedly quartz
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When you're a watch lover with limited resources (like me), you've gotta pick and choose. I generally think it's best to skip the lowest-priced watches, no matter how fun they might be, and save up for the occasional splurge. So it's saying something, then, that I have two different Q Timex editions – they're just undeniable.
Launched in 2019 as a nearly 1:1 reproduction of a vintage Timex from 1979, the squared-off and beveled stainless-steel case is reminiscent of many an integrated-bracelet watch. The prominent "Q" on the dial tells you this is proudly quartz and is all the better for it. It's also been the basis for a lot of cool limited-edition watches over the last four years, including a few GMTs and two Hodinkee releases. The whole H family is on board with this one. –Mark Kauzlarich
The Timex Q Reissue measures 38mm x 11.5mm. It uses a quartz movement and has 50 meters of water resistance. MSRP: $179. For more, visit Timex.

Which Reserved List cards will be worth the most in 10 years, compared to their current price tags?
This is my opinion.
Fueled by crossovers like LOTR and celebrity endorsements, Magic will increasingly become more visible in mainstream culture. Many more new players will be building Commander decks and buying cards, increasing the pressure on the prices of some cards on the Reserved List. Limited supply + increasing demand = higher prices.
So what happens to the Reserved List if a million new people get into Commander this year?
The Reserved List cards that stand to gain the most value over the next decade are RL cards with unique and/or powerful abilities. As I said in a previous post, I don't think Revised dual lands have nearly as much value to gain as other, more unique Reserved List cards like Earthcraft and Aluren. The most valuable Reserved List cards in the future are going to be the ones that are essential inclusions in a variety of Commander archetypes.
For example, an EDH Squirrels deck can function just fine without a Bayou but it usually needs an Earthcraft (to combo with Squirrel Nest, of course). Over time, as more players build Squirrel Commander decks, the price for Earthcraft will rise as the supply disappears. A cheaper example of another uniquely powerful Reserved List card is one of my all-time favorites: Thought Lash. Thought Lash combos with Thoracle and/or any cards that allow you to play with the top card of your library known (Bolas's Citadel or Elsha, for example). Some other examples of some uniquely powerful RL cards would be Intuition (a 3-mana instant that wins out of nowhere), Gaea's Cradle / Serra's Sanctum (it taps for how much mana?) and Aluren (do you have Acererak?).
Any Reserved List card that can function as an integral part of a game-winning action probably deserves a higher price tag than it currently has. Hardly anybody reads these posts so I'll name a few, what the heck. Why is Phyrexian Devourer still under $20? Why is Aluren under $60? Why is Corpse Dance selling for $15 damn dollars? WTH indeed. These are the sorts of Reserved List cards I'm buying, when I have the opportunity and the funds. A very recent example: I bought a play-set of four Earthcrafts today for $120 each, and it came out to $500 including tax. It was a large amount of money to invest in just four cards, but I believe I can sell each of them for $400-$500 in the future.
In order for a Magic card to be worth a ridiculous amount of money it needs to be both highly playable and printed in a limited quantity. Pyramids is an example of a RL card with an extremely, even artificially, limited supply. But Pyramid's actual sale price on the open market is never going to be very high, as the card is completely terrible in an actual game of Magic. Less demand = lower prices. Compare this to a card like Gaea's Cradle, a card that every Commander player wants to own and play with. A nice copy of Gaea's Cradle will quickly sell for market prices and increase in value over time. In fact, I suspect Gaea's Cradle will be a $3000+ card within 10 years. And while they're not technically Reserved List cards, the LOTR serialized Sol Rings check both the same boxes for what makes a card worth money--1) highly playable, and 2) printed in a limited quantity. The biggest difference between serialized cards and Reserved List cards is that serialized cards are all reprints and they occupy the same territory as Revised dual lands--they are impressive to behold but not integral to the deck's functionality.
I also feel like Magic's time as an unregulated asset class is probably going to come to an end very soon. The Feds ignorance of the monetary value of Magic cards makes them a perfect way for criminals to move money internationally; I feel like it must be happening already. And these new "lottery cards" like the LOTR Sol Rings and The One Ring means that collector boosters aren't much different than lottery tickets. Magic is going to get so big and expensive that it's going to become more heavily taxed, and that probably isn't good new for speculators!
I don't believe in the Roc of Kher Ridges, I don't believe in Narwhal. I don't believe in Thunder Spirit, Mercenaries, or Triangle of War. Yes, they are on the Reserved List. But they just don't win games. And for this reason I don't like investing in them. Someday, I want to sell cards that people are clamoring to buy. I want most of my RL speculation cards to be worth between $20-$50 someday, as in my experience it's usually harder to (successfully) sell someone a $500 card than it is to sell someone a $50 card. The longer we wait, the more expensive playable RL cards will become. I'm not sure WOTC has learned their lesson yet about messing around with the RL in the 30th Anniversary "product not for you." But even if they are stupid enough to go there again in the future (more reprints of the RL), I think playable, original Reserved List cards are going to hold up well over time.

Edit— obviously I need to further explain this interaction because it is coming off as judgmental rather than creepy. I was still in shock from this interaction hours later and it took me a bit to even find this subreddit to post. Sometimes intuition is stronger than you think though, always trust your gut.
Have you ever had an interaction like this??
His mannerisms, direct eye contact, slight cock of his head when responding to me, completely monotoned, extremely still for someone standing, completely uneducated in technology yet he was young… the interaction ended without a sale because of the short temper that came from him and his father. I couldn’t maintain eye contact with him and felt extremely uncomfortable, his presence made me feel so off. The whole interaction left me feeling so uncomfortable. At one point he was behind me and I felt… something so off. Idk how to explain it.
The father came back 45 min after because he was mad and the son was outside staring in.
— I bartended for 10 years, I’ve met thousands of people, traveled to 16 countries encountered many walks of life, 15 music festivals, and I have family and friends on the spectrum and I’m telling you this is not the same

Ordered my first Garand earlier this month via mail order. My credit card was charged today and the order shows up on their estore. Is the order# the serial number of the rifle? There is also a 5 digit number in the comments section. Is one of these the serial number of my rifle? Thanks

Pat Brown is a Criminal Profiler, Author & Commentator.
Brief Background:
In 1996, Pat Brown founded The Sexual Homicide Exchange (SHE). In 2000, she opened The Pat Brown Criminal Profiling Agency.
Brown wrote about her criminological approach in 2010 in The Profiler: My Life Hunting Serial Killers and Psychopaths with co-author Bob Andelman. In 2008 she wrote about the psychology of predators in Killing for Sport: Inside the Minds of Serial Killers. She is a co-founder of and a regular contributor to Women in Crime Ink.
Brown has provided crime commentary, profiling, and forensic analysis on national and international TV and radio. She has appeared on CNN, MSNBC,[FOX, NBC and CBS and has been a guest on "Today", "The Early Show", "Nancy Grace", Jane Velez-Mitchell, HLN "Prime News", “America's Most Wanted", and "Coast to Coast AM". In October 2006, she appeared on The Montel Williams Show to discuss women who unknowingly date wanted criminals.
To Watch Her Analysis on the Asha Degree case:
Profiling with Pat Brown: Gone Missing in The Middle of The Night

Today on march 21 2023 Serial Designation A aka Alpha has passed, he sacrificed his life holding down his position in southern Germany and was shot right in the head causing him to die, due to his own squad betraying him and having his regeneration box being torn out he was unable to regenerate his last words were fight on brothers
[END OF TRANSMISSION]

This story needs to be told. Those who have suffered must understand why. It’s not as simple as some have made it to be, which is why it needs to come from the person most responsible… me.
It began when I was least expecting it. But then don’t things always seem to happen that way?
***
“I’m tellin' ya, doc, people just don’t understand,” Frederick said while rocking back and forth in the chair.
“What exactly don’t they understand?” I said, trying to look more relaxed than I felt.
“There’s just something that takes over. You can’t stop it.”
“Impulse control?”
“What’s that mean?” Frederick said, struggling against his straight jacket, trying to get comfortable.
“It means that when you want to do something, you try your hardest not to. It means you try to control or suppress the urge to do things you know are bad.”
Frederick’s mouth lolled open. He narrowed his eyes in confusion.
“Why would I want to do that?”
I suppressed the urge to sigh.
“Because that’s what people do,” I said. “They think about doing bad things, but then they control themselves and don’t do them because those things are wrong and could hurt other people.”
“Hurting people is wrong?” he said.
“Yes, Frederick, hurting people is wrong.”
He shook his head as if he were trying to shake away a fly that was annoying him.
“Why?”
“Why is hurting people wrong?”
“No, why are you telling me this?”
“I don’t understand.”
“You’re saying I’m bad,” he said trying to rise from his chair. “You’re saying I didn’t need to hurt those people. That I’m a bad person.”
I got up from my chair and started backing toward the heavy metal door.
“I’m not bad!” he yelled at me. “You’re bad!”
I knocked on the door and the orderly opened it as Frederick got to his feet.
I slipped through the door as it slammed shut from the impact of his body slamming into it.
“Bad, bad, bad,” he screamed.
“Badbadbadbadbadbadbadbad!”
Spit flew from his mouth landing on the small observation window with metal grates embedded in it.
“You ok, doc,” the orderly said, startling me.
“Yes, I’m fine, thank you.”
I turned and walked down the white hallway, hoping the orderly wouldn’t notice the quickness in my step. I ignored the sound of Frederick beating on the door. I ignored all the sounds I heard. I just wanted to get away.
It was a long walk to my office, through many security gates. At each one, the nurse buzzed me through and gave me an acknowledging look that used to be a smile.
I suppose this place gets to everyone eventually.
I finally reached my office, closed and locked the door behind me, and collapsed into my chair. I breathed out a sigh of relief at reaching relative safety. I turned and looked out my window to the beautiful flowers blooming on the trees in the courtyard. I looked up at the tree stretching toward the sky.
I remember when they planted those.
I turned back to my center, my means of solace, the only thing that mattered in this cruel, unfair world. I picked up the picture of my lovely wife and smiled. She was the one who kept me sane all these years. She kept me seeing the best in people. Or at least trying. Sometimes there was no good to see—especially in my patients.
It takes a special kind of doctor to care for the mental needs of those who have done heinous things that are so bad they don’t even bother sending them to prison. They send them to me.
I’m like the dumpster for the dregs of society. Just drop them in the asylum and forget about them.
I kissed my wife and set her back on the bare desk, then turned on my computer and added notes from today’s session. There was never a recommendation for release. Once patients came here the only way they left was in a body bag. There was no curing them, only trying to make them docile until they left.
Oh, there were experiments. That was a large part of how we were funded. Companies would pay for certain tests to be done. Some might call it torture, but we called it research.
I finished typing my notes and leaned back in my seat. The diplomas and degrees stared down from their perches on the bare walls, mocking me. Demanding why I hadn’t gotten a better job.
As usual, I didn’t have an answer.
My office suddenly felt stuffy. I closed down my computer and left. Driving down the packed freeway, all I could think about was collapsing on the couch beside my lovely Elizabeth. Not telling her about my day until she dragged it out of me, then listening to her encourage me to help those who have been left in my care, because I’m the only hope they have.
Traffic was bumper to bumper and not helping my overall opinion of humanity much. Especially when a car that was swerving from lane to lane, nearly sideswiped me. It kept going on in front of me, nearly hitting several other cars.
The driver and passenger seemed to be having a disagreement about how to drive the car and it looked like it was about to come to blows.
Fortunately, they were soon out of sight, and someone else’s problem.
For the next few miles, I kept watching the side of the road waiting to see the offending car sitting in a ditch. However, they surprised me. They must’ve turned off to go terrorize some neighborhood streets with their reckless driving.
I hummed to myself, not wanting to have whatever dreck was on the radio forced on me.
When I was nearly to my exit, my phone rang. I immediately recognized the number as work. I contemplated answering it for a moment, then thought better of it. There had never been a time when work called with good news. And I was in no mood for bad news.
I hummed a little louder, trying to drown out the sound of the ring before it finally stopped.
The closer I got to home the less I thought about work and the more I thought about Elizabeth. Until I turned off at my exit, I had nearly forgotten work altogether. Maybe I would take tomorrow off and go do something with my wife. We hadn’t been out for a while. The weather had been lovely and I know she would adore a walk down by the lake.
My thoughts were interrupted when I turned down our driveway and saw a car in front of the house. It wasn’t quite in the driveway, it was sitting at an angle halfway in the front yard.
I parked my car and slowly got out. Something struck me about this car, but I hadn’t figured out what. I approached the driver’s side to have words with the person still sitting at the wheel.
“Excuse me,” I said staying a few steps back from the driver’s door.
He didn’t answer me.
“Excuse me,” I said a little louder.
Still no answer.
I tapped on the window and he ignored me.
I opened the door.
“Okay, look… “ I said.
But it was I who would do the looking. The man fell out of the car, thudding on the grass. The inside of the car was covered in blood. I looked down and the man’s throat had been cut.
“Oh my God!” I said jumping back.
I watched to see if the man was breathing, but the way his neck was bent at an unnatural angle against my yard told me everything I needed to know.
I glanced through the car but didn’t see the passenger.
It was then my eyes drifted to my front door.
It was open.
I stepped through the shrubs and up onto the porch, walking in a daze. The surrealness of the moment had yet to sink in. I was going inside to check on my wife and make sure everything was ok.
It didn’t strike me as anything more than that.
‘Oh, she just left the door open, that’s all.’
My mind kept trying to tell me that. I wanted desperately to believe it. Even though she had never been that careless during the entire time we’d been married. I had pushed aside all reason and common sense in favor of pure denial.
Everything was going to be ok. With Elizabeth, everything was always ok. She could literally light up a room with her positivity. She was the best person I ever knew. I have no idea how I got so lucky as to know her, let alone be her husband.
I floated in through my front door on my cloud of denial and looked for my wife.
It didn’t take me long to find her.
There was one wall of the living room she was constantly redecorating. She always said it looked bare and empty no matter what she did with it.
She was hanging from that wall, naked, her beautiful body desecrated by slices and rips. Her throat had been slit and blood still poured from it.
I ran to her.
Tried to take her down.
Screamed her name.
And then it was my turn to scream.
I looked down and saw a knife blade sticking out from my abdomen. It was part of the cutlery set I had gotten for Elizabeth three Christmases ago.
I screamed as I slowly turned to face my attacker.
“What’s up, doc?” Frederick said wearing a maniacal grin.
The shock had punched a hole in my reasoning. I saw him standing there, but I couldn’t accept it any more than I could accept my beautiful wife strung up like a macabre painting hanging on our living room wall.
My eyes tried to focus on his face. To make me recognize him as a threat.
“How’s that impulse control workin’ for ya, doc?”
He ripped the knife out of my back.
The pain, along with his arrogance woke me from my shock-induced stupor.
“Now do you understand?” he said, as he shoved the knife into my belly.
I did understand. I understood at that moment that I was already as dead as my wife. I knew that this piece of human garbage had taken something beautiful from this world. I knew I had to do something about it before there was nothing I could do. Before my body succumbed to injuries and I was unable.
I grabbed him by the throat. He tried to laugh, but my grip was fueled by desperation.
He tried to free himself but couldn’t. He began stabbing me over and over. I refused to release him. I carried him by his neck over to the kitchen counter and began bashing his head off the marble.
I was rewarded with spots of his blood. I knew at least I had made him bleed and that made me smile. His eyes grew wide as my grin grew maniacal. I smashed him repeatedly, crushing him against the sink, breaking the faucet, and causing water to spray into the air.
His eyelids fluttered as he lost his grip on the knife.
He was nearly gone. I would take him with me and that would be my parting gift to the world, removing something so evil.
Suddenly, my body wouldn’t obey commands. My grip loosened. I tried to tighten it, but I had lost all control. I looked down and I was standing in a pool of my own blood.
His eyes fluttered open and he coughed.
‘Nonononononono!’ I thought. ‘He can’t live. He can’t win. I had him.’
He stood as I sank to the floor.
“Looks like maybe you do understand, doc,” he said from what seemed like miles away. “Too bad you won’t be around to discuss it. We could have a session and evaluate how it makes you feel.”
His foot came down on my spine. I felt a crack. He started kicking me in the side repeatedly. Splashing water and blood on me as I felt my ribs crack.
I fought with everything I had.
My body didn’t even twitch.
‘Nooooo!,’ I screamed. ‘It can’t end like this.’
I heard a sizzling sound and then there was darkness.
***
I could feel movement.
Wasn’t I dead?
Was this what happened after?
It was still dark.
‘Hello?’ I tried to say.
Nothing. Just the sensation of movement.
Am I in a body bag? Am I on my way to the morgue or the grave? Please don’t let me be buried alive.
But I’m not alive, am I?
I don’t feel any pain. That’s a good thing, but not a good sign. The last thing I remember was lots of pain.
Suddenly there’s light and my movement stops.
I look up from the floor of a house I don’t recognize.
‘Where the hell am I?’
I’m on the floor next to a wall, looking up at an electrical outlet. Nothing around me seems familiar. I try to stand but it feels weird. It isn’t difficult, and there’s still no pain, it just carries an odd sensation with it. Like my body is just relearning things. Just like when I was a toddler. I teeter back and forth as I rise, but eventually, I’m upright.
My first few steps are tentative, but after that, I gain confidence with each stride.
Aside from the strange surroundings, there’s a sensation, like ants crawling all over me.
I pass a bathroom and glance inside. The reflection in the mirror draws me back. I slowly approach it, seeing something unique and terrifying.
It looks like someone drew an outline of a human form using a lightning bolt. The electricity shimmers and crackles as it races around the empty form of the being.
I wonder if it will hurt me.
Not sure if I want to test the limits of my newfound lack of pain, I hesitantly reach for this creature. It reaches for me at the same time. I’m mesmerized by this mutual curiosity.
My hand is about to touch the electric pulse shaped like its hand. I tremble with anticipation and fear as we touch.
Surprisingly, I don’t feel any pain. I don’t feel anything except a hard surface.
I move my hand back and forth. The creature does the same. I make quicker movements, and so does it.
Finally, out of frustration, I reach back and strike at the creature.
My hand strikes the hard surface and it splinters. There are now multiple creatures staring back at me.
I step back and come to the horrible realization.
I am the creature.
***
One month later…
“And police have been unable to find any credible leads in the string of brutal killings that began shortly after the patient escaped from the mental hospital last month,” the handsome anchorman stated from behind his desk. “They are asking people to call in if they know the whereabouts of Frederick Winston, now known as, ‘The Mangler’.”
“In other news, the Larsan Electric Company has issued a statement that the recent power surges are no cause for alarm. These surges seem to be random in people's homes and certain businesses. An LEC spokesman stated that there appears to be no pattern to the surges and that so far no one has reported them causing any harm. LEC is tracking down the problem and should have it under control soon.”
The anchorman shifted in his seat and turned to another camera.
“And on a lighter note, with Halloween months away, it seems that reports of ghosts are on the rise,” he said, wearing a half grin. “Several area residents have reported what they call a ghostlike figure, outlined in light, visiting them. Reports vary as to the duration and location of the visits, but they do seem to have a few things in common. The visits are usually short. In fact, most people say that if they blink the figure is gone. No one has reported the ghost doing any harm. And it seems like anyone within close proximity feels a tingling sensation and their hair standing on end.”
“Maybe I should be visited instead of my next hairdresser’s appointment,” the attractive woman anchor said with a laugh.
“Schedule me a visit too,” the male anchor said smiling. “And that’s our news for the evening, good night.”
Jimmy switched the channel.
“Gimme a break,” he said to the TV. “Ghosts? Who’s playing what? This’s some marketing scheme to sell Halloween crap. Like that stunt they pulled a few years back with the clowns hanging around the schools to promote that stupid movie.”
He switched off the TV and rolled over in his bed.
It wasn’t long before his breathing slowed. But before sleep could take him, he noticed a glow in the hallway. He didn’t remember leaving any lights on when he came to bed. Living alone had its advantages. If he heard someone in his apartment, he knew they weren’t supposed to be there. He slowly reached over to the bedstand and pulled out his Glock 9mm handgun, then held it close and listened.
He watched as the glow moved. It seemed like someone was looking around. But for what? He didn’t really have anything aside from his TV, phone, and video games. If anyone wanted those, they would be in a world of hurt. He had been lucky to get this apartment. If he was honest with himself, it cost more than he could afford, but when he had the chance he took it. It was too bad the opening came because the person who lived there before him was one of The Mangler’s victims. That’s probably why he was able to rent the place so quickly and get the price down to where he could almost afford it.
Maybe the glow was one of the street people who were stupid enough to see if there was an empty apartment to claim. That wasn’t gonna fly either. Jimmy had jumped on this apartment to get away from the dingy rat hole he used live in on the other side of town. And there was no way he’d let some bum come in here and take what was his.
The glow crept closer. He could feel the hairs on his arms raise. There was a sound too. It wasn’t loud, almost felt more than heard. A soft crackle, like electricity when it sparked.
The sensory input was almost too much for Jimmy to take. He pointed the gun in the direction of the glow and saw the barrel was shaking. His resolve, that he could deal with anyone as long as he had his gun, was beginning to fade.
The glow became so bright that it finally took form.
Jimmy’s eyes widened. It was the form of a person, just like the news had said.
It seemed to look around the room, then settle its gaze on the bed. Jimmy began to sweat as it approached and stared into his eyes.
It was the oddest thing, staring into what should be eyes, but nothing was there. The flashes of mini lightning bolts formed shapes that looked almost human, but it was just an outline, there was nothing inside what should be the body.
He shoved the shaking gun out from under the blanket and pointed it at the glowing figure.
The figure noted the presence of the gun, then continued to advance.
“S… stop,” Jimmy said. “I’m w… warning you.”
The figure ignored the warning.
Jimmy squeezed the trigger, setting off a deafening shot that went right through the face of the figure.
It acted as though nothing had happened, continuing to advance. The ringing in Jimmy’s ears made all sound seem muffled.
The figure stopped two inches from Jimmy’s face.
“Mangler… “ it said, sounding less like a voice and more like a transmission over an old staticky radio.
“I… I’m not the Mangler,” he said. “The person who used to live here was killed by him.”
It seemed to ponder this for a moment.
“Find Mangler… “ it said.
“I d… don’t know where to find him.”
It moved an inch closer. As the flashes of electricity arced, licked hungrily at Jimmy’s face.
“Find… him… “
“Ok, ok, I’ll find him,” Jimmy said, feeling the heat from the electricity.
The figure seemed to consider that for a moment then backed away. It moved toward the bedroom wall. Then, like someone had turned on a vacuum, it was sucked into an electrical outlet and disappeared.
Jimmy laid back in bed, breathing hard. His eyes darted left and right all around the room. But the only evidence of the figure that remained was the bullet hole in his bedroom wall.
***
The trips through the electrical conduits had become easier. There were still times when I came out someplace I didn’t intend to, but I was usually able to recover quickly and get to where I wanted to go.
But where did I want to go? At first, I wandered around, lost in this new form I found myself trapped inside. It was only after I had overheard a news report about the serial killer they called The Mangler that I gained my purpose.
Of course, Frederick was going to keep killing. Of course, they weren’t going to be able to catch him. He’d been inside away from his victims before and he didn’t like it. Not being able to torture and kill innocents was like a normal person not being able to breathe. Not that I know much about normal or breathing anymore.
I suppose on some level I should thank him. I thought about it for a long time and the only thing that makes any kind of sense is when we were fighting, somehow the water and blood I was laying in got splashed into the electrical socket. Instead of killing me, it bonded with me, making me able to become the electrical current. To ride it like a wave to wherever I wanted.
I became faster than any person ever was. And yet, I wasn’t a person anymore. I have no idea how I retained my consciousness, let alone my memory. But somehow…
I justify it by the old adage, ‘I think therefore I am.’
My life has become an endless hunt for the person who destroyed me, the person I must destroy. I don’t even know what I’ll do when I find him. But I will find him. I will stop him. This time, I won’t fail. I’ll end him like I should’ve before.
I owe it to the people he’s tortured and killed since my failure. Most of all, I owe it to my wife. I know she wouldn’t approve of my bloodlust. She would say there must be some other option. But if she would be able to see her dead body hanging naked from our living room wall, I think she just might change her mind.
My thoughts are interrupted as I arrive at my next destination, another victim’s house. I’m not sure what I’ll find that the police haven’t, but I have to try. Maybe I can pick up his scent somehow. A plan almost assuredly doomed to failure since I lost all sense of smell in the transformation.
I’m surprised though that I can still see and hear. I suppose waves of light and sound somehow intersect with my electrical body and it senses them. I don’t question it. I’ve learned to just go with it.
On the plus side, I don’t have to worry about eating, drinking, or using the bathroom. I guess there’s an upside to everything. Elizabeth would be so proud of me.
I arrive at the room where the victim was murdered. Looking around there’s still blood everywhere, along with evidence markers where they took pictures.
The sheer amount of blood tells me he took his time. He desecrated this girl in her own room. Her parents must’ve been out because there’s no way they didn’t hear the struggle. There were books on the floor, a chair overturned, and blood everywhere. The room was a disaster. It looked like she fought him. I wish she would’ve succeeded where I had failed.
But then, I wish I hadn’t failed, and this girl was still alive.
There’s nothing I can do now except find him and end him.
Finding him was proving more difficult than I thought. I had unlimited access to anywhere with electricity, but I couldn’t use a computer or a GPS. I was limited to transportation only through electricity. Granted that still made me the fastest being alive. I say being because I don’t think I qualify as human anymore. But I was limited to traveling to a place and then trying to find out where I was and if he was there.
If he knew I was searching for him all he would have to do is live the rest of his days in a cabin in the woods with no electricity. I’d never be able to reach him.
I believe two things worked in my favor with that theory.
First, I don’t think he’s that smart, and second, I don’t think he knows I’m looking for him. I believe that surviving our fight only further empowered him to kill. When someone feels invincible, they’re bound to make a mistake.
An officer walked into the room and I ducked back into an outlet. I was able to hang on where I was and watch from inside the outlet without being transported somewhere else.
The officer looked startled and stared at the empty air that I had just vacated. She looked like she was unsure if she trusted what her eyes had seen in the instant before I vanished.
She slowly stepped over to the corner and bent down to peer into the outlet. For a moment I wondered if she could see me, and what exactly she would see. But then her radio squawked calling her to another scene. When I heard the voice on the radio say the address and that they might have the killer cornered, I didn’t waste any time.
It was maybe fifteen seconds until I was across town at the address I’d heard. There was a lot of screaming and crying going on. I came out of the outlet and saw blood on the floor beside a body that wasn’t moving.
There was a girl being beaten by a man with his back to me. He turned to take another swing and I knew my search was over.
“My psychiatrist used to tell me I needed to work on my impulse control,” he said calmly as he slapped her. “I think I’m doing pretty good. I’ve been here ten whole minutes and you’re still alive.”
I shot across the room and knocked him to the floor. He jumped back up and looked around for what had hit him.
“What the hell?”
I saw the fear in his eyes when he saw me. I know Elizabeth would’ve been ashamed, of me, but I was enjoying his anxiety. After all he had done to me and so many others, I drank it in like an elixir.
He started edging toward the door. I was there in a heartbeat. His eyes darted back and forth between where I used to be and where I now stood. The panic in his eyes doubled.
I wanted to make him suffer, but I didn’t want to make the same mistake I’d made before and let him escape with his life.
I lashed out with a bolt that used to be my arm. The energy slashed through his shirt and fried a hole in his shoulder.
He screamed in pain and horror as he looked at the smoking hole in his skin. He tried to run but in an instant, I was there in front of him firing another bolt and searing the skin across his waist to his jeans.
His screams of pain and rage were only matched by the feral desperation in his eyes.
Not knowing what do to, he went with the familiar. Attack the innocent. He grabbed the girl who had been crawling away from the scene.
He grabbed her again and held her in front of him like a human shield.
What a waste of skin.
I fired a bolt into a ceiling light beside me which ricocheted and hit him full force in the leg, nearly severing it.
He went down like a ton of bricks, trying to hold on to his hostage, but she was fighting to get away from him. She broke free and he crumpled to the floor.
“What do you want?” he screamed at me.
With everything that is within me, I wanted to tell him who I was, what he had taken from me, and what I was about to take from him.
But I didn’t want to give the satisfaction. I wanted to give him only uncertainty and fear to cling to.
I could feel the seconds ticking away. I knew I had to make the most of this opportunity or he would get away again. And after this, I might never find him.
I unleashed every ounce of energy at him. I couldn’t even see him, he was only a smoking pillar of frying skin.
Just then, the police burst through the door.
“FREE… “ the first officer started then the shock of what he was seeing stole the rest of the word from his mouth.
He stood there, mouth agape when the female officer stepped in behind him. She looked at me and her wide eyes narrowed as she put two and two together and recognized me from the last crime scene.
I had no reason to fear. I didn’t know if I could even be harmed in my current state. But when you see that blue uniform burst through a door with a gun aimed at you, all rational thought takes a vacation.
I dove for the outlet and was gone. I didn’t even care where I was going. I knew I had done what I wanted to. The monster was destroyed.
Something felt different. Was it pride at finishing my crusade? Was it shame knowing Elizabeth wouldn’t have wanted me to do it?
I don’t know but there was something else. It was like there was added weight to my existence. I guess you can have a conscious in whatever you’d call this existence.
I appeared in the place that made the most sense, ironically. It was my old home. The one where everything I loved died, including me. It was where I took on this unintended new existence.
Is that why I felt this extra weight? Was it some cathartic aftereffect of my search for revenge that was finally over?
I looked around the charred debris of what used to be my home. In my mind's eye, I didn’t see the burned-out shell of what was left. I saw it as it was when we first moved in. When Elizabeth and I started decorating. When the interior was finally finished and I turned to her and said, “For now.” Knowing she would decide to change everything at some time in the future when she was bored, just like all women seem to do.
I remember getting a paintbrush across the mouth for that comment. I smiled remembering kissing her with my freshly painted mouth and ending up in the bedroom.
As I turned toward where I’d entered the house, my smile quickly faded. For some reason, I was still connected to the outlet. That had never happened before.
Another curiosity arose when I noticed the color of my electrical body was now tinged purple. It had always been blue before.
The tail of what had yet to come out of the outlet was red. As I pulled and it came the rest of the way out, it merged with me and turned purple.
“What the hell?” I heard someone say.
I whipped around but no one was there.
“Where am I?” the voice said.
“Who are you?” I said to the air.
There was a long silence.
“Doc?” the voice said.
As far as I knew it wasn’t possible for my spine to turn to ice, since I no longer had a spine, but the feeling seemed the same.
“Frederick?” I said.
“What happened?” he said. “This crazy electric thing attacked me and now… wait a minute. How am I talking to you? You died months ago.”
My shock gave way to utter despair. My enemy was now part of me.

This story needs to be told. Those who have suffered must understand why. It’s not as simple as some have made it to be, which is why it needs to come from the person most responsible… me.
It began when I was least expecting it. But then don’t things always seem to happen that way?
***
“I’m tellin' ya, doc, people just don’t understand,” Frederick said while rocking back and forth in the chair.
“What exactly don’t they understand?” I said, trying to look more relaxed than I felt.
“There’s just something that takes over. You can’t stop it.”
“Impulse control?”
“What’s that mean?” Frederick said, struggling against his straight jacket, trying to get comfortable.
“It means that when you want to do something, you try your hardest not to. It means you try to control or suppress the urge to do things you know are bad.”
Frederick’s mouth lolled open. He narrowed his eyes in confusion.
“Why would I want to do that?”
I suppressed the urge to sigh.
“Because that’s what people do,” I said. “They think about doing bad things, but then they control themselves and don’t do them because those things are wrong and could hurt other people.”
“Hurting people is wrong?” he said.
“Yes, Frederick, hurting people is wrong.”
He shook his head as if he were trying to shake away a fly that was annoying him.
“Why?”
“Why is hurting people wrong?”
“No, why are you telling me this?”
“I don’t understand.”
“You’re saying I’m bad,” he said trying to rise from his chair. “You’re saying I didn’t need to hurt those people. That I’m a bad person.”
I got up from my chair and started backing toward the heavy metal door.
“I’m not bad!” he yelled at me. “You’re bad!”
I knocked on the door and the orderly opened it as Frederick got to his feet.
I slipped through the door as it slammed shut from the impact of his body slamming into it.
“Bad, bad, bad,” he screamed.
“Badbadbadbadbadbadbadbad!”
Spit flew from his mouth landing on the small observation window with metal grates embedded in it.
“You ok, doc,” the orderly said, startling me.
“Yes, I’m fine, thank you.”
I turned and walked down the white hallway, hoping the orderly wouldn’t notice the quickness in my step. I ignored the sound of Frederick beating on the door. I ignored all the sounds I heard. I just wanted to get away.
It was a long walk to my office, through many security gates. At each one, the nurse buzzed me through and gave me an acknowledging look that used to be a smile.
I suppose this place gets to everyone eventually.
I finally reached my office, closed and locked the door behind me, and collapsed into my chair. I breathed out a sigh of relief at reaching relative safety. I turned and looked out my window to the beautiful flowers blooming on the trees in the courtyard. I looked up at the tree stretching toward the sky.
I remember when they planted those.
I turned back to my center, my means of solace, the only thing that mattered in this cruel, unfair world. I picked up the picture of my lovely wife and smiled. She was the one who kept me sane all these years. She kept me seeing the best in people. Or at least trying. Sometimes there was no good to see—especially in my patients.
It takes a special kind of doctor to care for the mental needs of those who have done heinous things that are so bad they don’t even bother sending them to prison. They send them to me.
I’m like the dumpster for the dregs of society. Just drop them in the asylum and forget about them.
I kissed my wife and set her back on the bare desk, then turned on my computer and added notes from today’s session. There was never a recommendation for release. Once patients came here the only way they left was in a body bag. There was no curing them, only trying to make them docile until they left.
Oh, there were experiments. That was a large part of how we were funded. Companies would pay for certain tests to be done. Some might call it torture, but we called it research.
I finished typing my notes and leaned back in my seat. The diplomas and degrees stared down from their perches on the bare walls, mocking me. Demanding why I hadn’t gotten a better job.
As usual, I didn’t have an answer.
My office suddenly felt stuffy. I closed down my computer and left. Driving down the packed freeway, all I could think about was collapsing on the couch beside my lovely Elizabeth. Not telling her about my day until she dragged it out of me, then listening to her encourage me to help those who have been left in my care, because I’m the only hope they have.
Traffic was bumper to bumper and not helping my overall opinion of humanity much. Especially when a car that was swerving from lane to lane, nearly sideswiped me. It kept going on in front of me, nearly hitting several other cars.
The driver and passenger seemed to be having a disagreement about how to drive the car and it looked like it was about to come to blows.
Fortunately, they were soon out of sight, and someone else’s problem.
For the next few miles, I kept watching the side of the road waiting to see the offending car sitting in a ditch. However, they surprised me. They must’ve turned off to go terrorize some neighborhood streets with their reckless driving.
I hummed to myself, not wanting to have whatever dreck was on the radio forced on me.
When I was nearly to my exit, my phone rang. I immediately recognized the number as work. I contemplated answering it for a moment, then thought better of it. There had never been a time when work called with good news. And I was in no mood for bad news.
I hummed a little louder, trying to drown out the sound of the ring before it finally stopped.
The closer I got to home the less I thought about work and the more I thought about Elizabeth. Until I turned off at my exit, I had nearly forgotten work altogether. Maybe I would take tomorrow off and go do something with my wife. We hadn’t been out for a while. The weather had been lovely and I know she would adore a walk down by the lake.
My thoughts were interrupted when I turned down our driveway and saw a car in front of the house. It wasn’t quite in the driveway, it was sitting at an angle halfway in the front yard.
I parked my car and slowly got out. Something struck me about this car, but I hadn’t figured out what. I approached the driver’s side to have words with the person still sitting at the wheel.
“Excuse me,” I said staying a few steps back from the driver’s door.
He didn’t answer me.
“Excuse me,” I said a little louder.
Still no answer.
I tapped on the window and he ignored me.
I opened the door.
“Okay, look… “ I said.
But it was I who would do the looking. The man fell out of the car, thudding on the grass. The inside of the car was covered in blood. I looked down and the man’s throat had been cut.
“Oh my God!” I said jumping back.
I watched to see if the man was breathing, but the way his neck was bent at an unnatural angle against my yard told me everything I needed to know.
I glanced through the car but didn’t see the passenger.
It was then my eyes drifted to my front door.
It was open.
I stepped through the shrubs and up onto the porch, walking in a daze. The surrealness of the moment had yet to sink in. I was going inside to check on my wife and make sure everything was ok.
It didn’t strike me as anything more than that.
‘Oh, she just left the door open, that’s all.’
My mind kept trying to tell me that. I wanted desperately to believe it. Even though she had never been that careless during the entire time we’d been married. I had pushed aside all reason and common sense in favor of pure denial.
Everything was going to be ok. With Elizabeth, everything was always ok. She could literally light up a room with her positivity. She was the best person I ever knew. I have no idea how I got so lucky as to know her, let alone be her husband.
I floated in through my front door on my cloud of denial and looked for my wife.
It didn’t take me long to find her.
There was one wall of the living room she was constantly redecorating. She always said it looked bare and empty no matter what she did with it.
She was hanging from that wall, naked, her beautiful body desecrated by slices and rips. Her throat had been slit and blood still poured from it.
I ran to her.
Tried to take her down.
Screamed her name.
And then it was my turn to scream.
I looked down and saw a knife blade sticking out from my abdomen. It was part of the cutlery set I had gotten for Elizabeth three Christmases ago.
I screamed as I slowly turned to face my attacker.
“What’s up, doc?” Frederick said wearing a maniacal grin.
The shock had punched a hole in my reasoning. I saw him standing there, but I couldn’t accept it any more than I could accept my beautiful wife strung up like a macabre painting hanging on our living room wall.
My eyes tried to focus on his face. To make me recognize him as a threat.
“How’s that impulse control workin’ for ya, doc?”
He ripped the knife out of my back.
The pain, along with his arrogance woke me from my shock-induced stupor.
“Now do you understand?” he said, as he shoved the knife into my belly.
I did understand. I understood at that moment that I was already as dead as my wife. I knew that this piece of human garbage had taken something beautiful from this world. I knew I had to do something about it before there was nothing I could do. Before my body succumbed to injuries and I was unable.
I grabbed him by the throat. He tried to laugh, but my grip was fueled by desperation.
He tried to free himself but couldn’t. He began stabbing me over and over. I refused to release him. I carried him by his neck over to the kitchen counter and began bashing his head off the marble.
I was rewarded with spots of his blood. I knew at least I had made him bleed and that made me smile. His eyes grew wide as my grin grew maniacal. I smashed him repeatedly, crushing him against the sink, breaking the faucet, and causing water to spray into the air.
His eyelids fluttered as he lost his grip on the knife.
He was nearly gone. I would take him with me and that would be my parting gift to the world, removing something so evil.
Suddenly, my body wouldn’t obey commands. My grip loosened. I tried to tighten it, but I had lost all control. I looked down and I was standing in a pool of my own blood.
His eyes fluttered open and he coughed.
‘Nonononononono!’ I thought. ‘He can’t live. He can’t win. I had him.’
He stood as I sank to the floor.
“Looks like maybe you do understand, doc,” he said from what seemed like miles away. “Too bad you won’t be around to discuss it. We could have a session and evaluate how it makes you feel.”
His foot came down on my spine. I felt a crack. He started kicking me in the side repeatedly. Splashing water and blood on me as I felt my ribs crack.
I fought with everything I had.
My body didn’t even twitch.
‘Nooooo!,’ I screamed. ‘It can’t end like this.’
I heard a sizzling sound and then there was darkness.
***
I could feel movement.
Wasn’t I dead?
Was this what happened after?
It was still dark.
‘Hello?’ I tried to say.
Nothing. Just the sensation of movement.
Am I in a body bag? Am I on my way to the morgue or the grave? Please don’t let me be buried alive.
But I’m not alive, am I?
I don’t feel any pain. That’s a good thing, but not a good sign. The last thing I remember was lots of pain.
Suddenly there’s light and my movement stops.
I look up from the floor of a house I don’t recognize.
‘Where the hell am I?’
I’m on the floor next to a wall, looking up at an electrical outlet. Nothing around me seems familiar. I try to stand but it feels weird. It isn’t difficult, and there’s still no pain, it just carries an odd sensation with it. Like my body is just relearning things. Just like when I was a toddler. I teeter back and forth as I rise, but eventually, I’m upright.
My first few steps are tentative, but after that, I gain confidence with each stride.
Aside from the strange surroundings, there’s a sensation, like ants crawling all over me.
I pass a bathroom and glance inside. The reflection in the mirror draws me back. I slowly approach it, seeing something unique and terrifying.
It looks like someone drew an outline of a human form using a lightning bolt. The electricity shimmers and crackles as it races around the empty form of the being.
I wonder if it will hurt me.
Not sure if I want to test the limits of my newfound lack of pain, I hesitantly reach for this creature. It reaches for me at the same time. I’m mesmerized by this mutual curiosity.
My hand is about to touch the electric pulse shaped like its hand. I tremble with anticipation and fear as we touch.
Surprisingly, I don’t feel any pain. I don’t feel anything except a hard surface.
I move my hand back and forth. The creature does the same. I make quicker movements, and so does it.
Finally, out of frustration, I reach back and strike at the creature.
My hand strikes the hard surface and it splinters. There are now multiple creatures staring back at me.
I step back and come to the horrible realization.
I am the creature.
***
One month later…
“And police have been unable to find any credible leads in the string of brutal killings that began shortly after the patient escaped from the mental hospital last month,” the handsome anchorman stated from behind his desk. “They are asking people to call in if they know the whereabouts of Frederick Winston, now known as, ‘The Mangler’.”
“In other news, the Larsan Electric Company has issued a statement that the recent power surges are no cause for alarm. These surges seem to be random in people's homes and certain businesses. An LEC spokesman stated that there appears to be no pattern to the surges and that so far no one has reported them causing any harm. LEC is tracking down the problem and should have it under control soon.”
The anchorman shifted in his seat and turned to another camera.
“And on a lighter note, with Halloween months away, it seems that reports of ghosts are on the rise,” he said, wearing a half grin. “Several area residents have reported what they call a ghostlike figure, outlined in light, visiting them. Reports vary as to the duration and location of the visits, but they do seem to have a few things in common. The visits are usually short. In fact, most people say that if they blink the figure is gone. No one has reported the ghost doing any harm. And it seems like anyone within close proximity feels a tingling sensation and their hair standing on end.”
“Maybe I should be visited instead of my next hairdresser’s appointment,” the attractive woman anchor said with a laugh.
“Schedule me a visit too,” the male anchor said smiling. “And that’s our news for the evening, good night.”
Jimmy switched the channel.
“Gimme a break,” he said to the TV. “Ghosts? Who’s playing what? This’s some marketing scheme to sell Halloween crap. Like that stunt they pulled a few years back with the clowns hanging around the schools to promote that stupid movie.”
He switched off the TV and rolled over in his bed.
It wasn’t long before his breathing slowed. But before sleep could take him, he noticed a glow in the hallway. He didn’t remember leaving any lights on when he came to bed. Living alone had its advantages. If he heard someone in his apartment, he knew they weren’t supposed to be there. He slowly reached over to the bedstand and pulled out his Glock 9mm handgun, then held it close and listened.
He watched as the glow moved. It seemed like someone was looking around. But for what? He didn’t really have anything aside from his TV, phone, and video games. If anyone wanted those, they would be in a world of hurt. He had been lucky to get this apartment. If he was honest with himself, it cost more than he could afford, but when he had the chance he took it. It was too bad the opening came because the person who lived there before him was one of The Mangler’s victims. That’s probably why he was able to rent the place so quickly and get the price down to where he could almost afford it.
Maybe the glow was one of the street people who were stupid enough to see if there was an empty apartment to claim. That wasn’t gonna fly either. Jimmy had jumped on this apartment to get away from the dingy rat hole he used live in on the other side of town. And there was no way he’d let some bum come in here and take what was his.
The glow crept closer. He could feel the hairs on his arms raise. There was a sound too. It wasn’t loud, almost felt more than heard. A soft crackle, like electricity when it sparked.
The sensory input was almost too much for Jimmy to take. He pointed the gun in the direction of the glow and saw the barrel was shaking. His resolve, that he could deal with anyone as long as he had his gun, was beginning to fade.
The glow became so bright that it finally took form.
Jimmy’s eyes widened. It was the form of a person, just like the news had said.
It seemed to look around the room, then settle its gaze on the bed. Jimmy began to sweat as it approached and stared into his eyes.
It was the oddest thing, staring into what should be eyes, but nothing was there. The flashes of mini lightning bolts formed shapes that looked almost human, but it was just an outline, there was nothing inside what should be the body.
He shoved the shaking gun out from under the blanket and pointed it at the glowing figure.
The figure noted the presence of the gun, then continued to advance.
“S… stop,” Jimmy said. “I’m w… warning you.”
The figure ignored the warning.
Jimmy squeezed the trigger, setting off a deafening shot that went right through the face of the figure.
It acted as though nothing had happened, continuing to advance. The ringing in Jimmy’s ears made all sound seem muffled.
The figure stopped two inches from Jimmy’s face.
“Mangler… “ it said, sounding less like a voice and more like a transmission over an old staticky radio.
“I… I’m not the Mangler,” he said. “The person who used to live here was killed by him.”
It seemed to ponder this for a moment.
“Find Mangler… “ it said.
“I d… don’t know where to find him.”
It moved an inch closer. As the flashes of electricity arced, licked hungrily at Jimmy’s face.
“Find… him… “
“Ok, ok, I’ll find him,” Jimmy said, feeling the heat from the electricity.
The figure seemed to consider that for a moment then backed away. It moved toward the bedroom wall. Then, like someone had turned on a vacuum, it was sucked into an electrical outlet and disappeared.
Jimmy laid back in bed, breathing hard. His eyes darted left and right all around the room. But the only evidence of the figure that remained was the bullet hole in his bedroom wall.
***
The trips through the electrical conduits had become easier. There were still times when I came out someplace I didn’t intend to, but I was usually able to recover quickly and get to where I wanted to go.
But where did I want to go? At first, I wandered around, lost in this new form I found myself trapped inside. It was only after I had overheard a news report about the serial killer they called The Mangler that I gained my purpose.
Of course, Frederick was going to keep killing. Of course, they weren’t going to be able to catch him. He’d been inside away from his victims before and he didn’t like it. Not being able to torture and kill innocents was like a normal person not being able to breathe. Not that I know much about normal or breathing anymore.
I suppose on some level I should thank him. I thought about it for a long time and the only thing that makes any kind of sense is when we were fighting, somehow the water and blood I was laying in got splashed into the electrical socket. Instead of killing me, it bonded with me, making me able to become the electrical current. To ride it like a wave to wherever I wanted.
I became faster than any person ever was. And yet, I wasn’t a person anymore. I have no idea how I retained my consciousness, let alone my memory. But somehow…
I justify it by the old adage, ‘I think therefore I am.’
My life has become an endless hunt for the person who destroyed me, the person I must destroy. I don’t even know what I’ll do when I find him. But I will find him. I will stop him. This time, I won’t fail. I’ll end him like I should’ve before.
I owe it to the people he’s tortured and killed since my failure. Most of all, I owe it to my wife. I know she wouldn’t approve of my bloodlust. She would say there must be some other option. But if she would be able to see her dead body hanging naked from our living room wall, I think she just might change her mind.
My thoughts are interrupted as I arrive at my next destination, another victim’s house. I’m not sure what I’ll find that the police haven’t, but I have to try. Maybe I can pick up his scent somehow. A plan almost assuredly doomed to failure since I lost all sense of smell in the transformation.
I’m surprised though that I can still see and hear. I suppose waves of light and sound somehow intersect with my electrical body and it senses them. I don’t question it. I’ve learned to just go with it.
On the plus side, I don’t have to worry about eating, drinking, or using the bathroom. I guess there’s an upside to everything. Elizabeth would be so proud of me.
I arrive at the room where the victim was murdered. Looking around there’s still blood everywhere, along with evidence markers where they took pictures.
The sheer amount of blood tells me he took his time. He desecrated this girl in her own room. Her parents must’ve been out because there’s no way they didn’t hear the struggle. There were books on the floor, a chair overturned, and blood everywhere. The room was a disaster. It looked like she fought him. I wish she would’ve succeeded where I had failed.
But then, I wish I hadn’t failed, and this girl was still alive.
There’s nothing I can do now except find him and end him.
Finding him was proving more difficult than I thought. I had unlimited access to anywhere with electricity, but I couldn’t use a computer or a GPS. I was limited to transportation only through electricity. Granted that still made me the fastest being alive. I say being because I don’t think I qualify as human anymore. But I was limited to traveling to a place and then trying to find out where I was and if he was there.
If he knew I was searching for him all he would have to do is live the rest of his days in a cabin in the woods with no electricity. I’d never be able to reach him.
I believe two things worked in my favor with that theory.
First, I don’t think he’s that smart, and second, I don’t think he knows I’m looking for him. I believe that surviving our fight only further empowered him to kill. When someone feels invincible, they’re bound to make a mistake.
An officer walked into the room and I ducked back into an outlet. I was able to hang on where I was and watch from inside the outlet without being transported somewhere else.
The officer looked startled and stared at the empty air that I had just vacated. She looked like she was unsure if she trusted what her eyes had seen in the instant before I vanished.
She slowly stepped over to the corner and bent down to peer into the outlet. For a moment I wondered if she could see me, and what exactly she would see. But then her radio squawked calling her to another scene. When I heard the voice on the radio say the address and that they might have the killer cornered, I didn’t waste any time.
It was maybe fifteen seconds until I was across town at the address I’d heard. There was a lot of screaming and crying going on. I came out of the outlet and saw blood on the floor beside a body that wasn’t moving.
There was a girl being beaten by a man with his back to me. He turned to take another swing and I knew my search was over.
“My psychiatrist used to tell me I needed to work on my impulse control,” he said calmly as he slapped her. “I think I’m doing pretty good. I’ve been here ten whole minutes and you’re still alive.”
I shot across the room and knocked him to the floor. He jumped back up and looked around for what had hit him.
“What the hell?”
I saw the fear in his eyes when he saw me. I know Elizabeth would’ve been ashamed, of me, but I was enjoying his anxiety. After all he had done to me and so many others, I drank it in like an elixir.
He started edging toward the door. I was there in a heartbeat. His eyes darted back and forth between where I used to be and where I now stood. The panic in his eyes doubled.
I wanted to make him suffer, but I didn’t want to make the same mistake I’d made before and let him escape with his life.
I lashed out with a bolt that used to be my arm. The energy slashed through his shirt and fried a hole in his shoulder.
He screamed in pain and horror as he looked at the smoking hole in his skin. He tried to run but in an instant, I was there in front of him firing another bolt and searing the skin across his waist to his jeans.
His screams of pain and rage were only matched by the feral desperation in his eyes.
Not knowing what do to, he went with the familiar. Attack the innocent. He grabbed the girl who had been crawling away from the scene.
He grabbed her again and held her in front of him like a human shield.
What a waste of skin.
I fired a bolt into a ceiling light beside me which ricocheted and hit him full force in the leg, nearly severing it.
He went down like a ton of bricks, trying to hold on to his hostage, but she was fighting to get away from him. She broke free and he crumpled to the floor.
“What do you want?” he screamed at me.
With everything that is within me, I wanted to tell him who I was, what he had taken from me, and what I was about to take from him.
But I didn’t want to give the satisfaction. I wanted to give him only uncertainty and fear to cling to.
I could feel the seconds ticking away. I knew I had to make the most of this opportunity or he would get away again. And after this, I might never find him.
I unleashed every ounce of energy at him. I couldn’t even see him, he was only a smoking pillar of frying skin.
Just then, the police burst through the door.
“FREE… “ the first officer started then the shock of what he was seeing stole the rest of the word from his mouth.
He stood there, mouth agape when the female officer stepped in behind him. She looked at me and her wide eyes narrowed as she put two and two together and recognized me from the last crime scene.
I had no reason to fear. I didn’t know if I could even be harmed in my current state. But when you see that blue uniform burst through a door with a gun aimed at you, all rational thought takes a vacation.
I dove for the outlet and was gone. I didn’t even care where I was going. I knew I had done what I wanted to. The monster was destroyed.
Something felt different. Was it pride at finishing my crusade? Was it shame knowing Elizabeth wouldn’t have wanted me to do it?
I don’t know but there was something else. It was like there was added weight to my existence. I guess you can have a conscious in whatever you’d call this existence.
I appeared in the place that made the most sense, ironically. It was my old home. The one where everything I loved died, including me. It was where I took on this unintended new existence.
Is that why I felt this extra weight? Was it some cathartic aftereffect of my search for revenge that was finally over?
I looked around the charred debris of what used to be my home. In my mind's eye, I didn’t see the burned-out shell of what was left. I saw it as it was when we first moved in. When Elizabeth and I started decorating. When the interior was finally finished and I turned to her and said, “For now.” Knowing she would decide to change everything at some time in the future when she was bored, just like all women seem to do.
I remember getting a paintbrush across the mouth for that comment. I smiled remembering kissing her with my freshly painted mouth and ending up in the bedroom.
As I turned toward where I’d entered the house, my smile quickly faded. For some reason, I was still connected to the outlet. That had never happened before.
Another curiosity arose when I noticed the color of my electrical body was now tinged purple. It had always been blue before.
The tail of what had yet to come out of the outlet was red. As I pulled and it came the rest of the way out, it merged with me and turned purple.
“What the hell?” I heard someone say.
I whipped around but no one was there.
“Where am I?” the voice said.
“Who are you?” I said to the air.
There was a long silence.
“Doc?” the voice said.
As far as I knew it wasn’t possible for my spine to turn to ice, since I no longer had a spine, but the feeling seemed the same.
“Frederick?” I said.
“What happened?” he said. “This crazy electric thing attacked me and now… wait a minute. How am I talking to you? You died months ago.”
My shock gave way to utter despair. My enemy was now part of me.

To all visitors, hooray! Thanks to everyone who visited the "Seraph of the End exhibition", yeaaah! So, while writing this comment for you, i tried to use "hooray" and "yeaah" to make it a comment that is nowhere to be found. But i really want to scream, because i'm grateful to all of you. I think the reason i can continue this monthly serialization for 10 years is supporting from the enthusiastic readers who come here today. We have been together with Yu-chan and Mika, Guren, Shinoa and others for 10 years. It's been 10 years since i met Yamamoto-san, Furuya-san, Shueisha and everyone who involved. And most importantly, 10 years have passed since i met all the readers. Thank you all for giving me these wonderful ten years. Thanks very much to everyone who is here today. I will be glad if you enjoy it. And please continue to support "Seraph of the End". I think i'll come secretly to see the "Seraph of the End exhibition", so if you find me, i'll be glad to meet you.

Everything’s gotta eat right? It’s as natural as breathing…well usually it’s natural. Some things don’t breathe. Like rocks, water, and the undead. All of those things don’t breathe, and that’s very natural for them. But in general, if it can breed, it can usually breathe. That makes sense right?
I am sorry. I tend to get a little lost in the moment when I think by myself. It’s a rare treat. Anyways, as I was saying, everything has to eat. Even things that I once thought impossible have to eat. Fortunately for most of us, as the world changed the things that would eat us found it a lot harder to get away with just snatching up a local civilian like we snatch up so many dollar cheeseburgers. It’s a lot harder to be a monster in the modern world, at least that is what I am told by my customers. Everyone is a photographer now.
Long gone are the days of the rare lucky photographer catching a glimpse of the supernatural. Now anyone and everyone can be that lucky photographer. You see monsters are a lot like celebrities. They desire a privacy they can never have because of who they are. In that way monsters are kind of a sad group of beings. Quite prone to loneliness as their numbers have dwindled over the years.
That’s where I come in. I provide two very essential services to the monster community of the Midwest. Firstly, I acquire suitable food and sundries so that they may live out their lives and unlives in peace and comfort. Secondly, I provide a small amount of company to the more lonely individuals of the monster community. Well the lonely ones who won’t express their emotions by ripping out my stomach. The job pays immensely well and the service is provided by a company I won’t mention by name. You can probably guess which one though…like if you think about which delivery company probably feeds monsters…it’s not hard to figure out which one it is. I like my job most of the time, but some clients really freak me out.
One such client is the subject of this little online journal entry of mine. See there’s this guy…creature…collective…let’s go with guy, he’s kind of hard to deal with. See first of all he eats an insane amount. Literally eight horses was what I was delivering. The other problem was talking to him. He’s kind of insane and scares the living shit out of me. The special instructions for his deliveries always mention he is “mostly harmless”, but I just can’t shake the feeling that’s inaccurate. He has told me multiple times that “my digestion is inevitable”, which I am not sure what to make of that. I am not sure if that’s a death threat or what? I just know it scares the fuck out of me.
I remember the other me having a good ole time taunting me during the delivery too. Oh, yeah btw there is another me. Not like two physical copies of myself, that would be silly, no there’s like another copy of me living in my head. It’s not like a mental illness or some kind of witch's curse or anything. Just something that I was born with. It’s like a copy of myself that doesn’t have to interact with the world, and is therefore uncaring as to our ultimate fate or comfort. So mostly it just bullies me.
“Aw, is Sam afraid of the big bad flesh beast? Are you gonna break out in a panic sweat?” They taunted me.
“I mean probably. It’s hot out and I am anxious as hell. You know I don’t like dealing with the Flesh thing.” I replied to the other me.
“I like him. He’s kinda like us. Except instead of two people, he’s like thousands. Also all of him agrees and is pretty much uniform. Unlike us where one of us is cool, and the other is an aimless loser.”
“You’re more than welcome to come out and take control. Feel free to do this shitty run for me.”
“Nah, I like to watch.”
“Except when I am eating cheesecake. Right?”
“You don’t even like cheesecake. You buy that for me, and you know it.”
Thankfully, me and my other self don’t share the same thoughts. So I always have a nice quiet place in my own mind to get away from…myself. Yeah…anyway, I was able to tune myself out and run over the checklist for the delivery. Once I got to their home I had to drive around back to the well. Then press the button on the side of the trailer to release the horses, then kinda just be generally out of the way. The feeding is more or less the easy part. The hard part is talking to him. I really don’t wanna talk about tapeworms again…I now know so much about tapeworms that I wish I didn't. Did you know you can get a tapeworm in your brain? Fucking gross!I continued to snake through the rural roads of a small farming town looking for the dilapidated farmhouse the app was trying to direct me to. That in and of itself also frightened me. I have never liked driving through the less populous areas of the Midwest. It’s too dark, too many deer coming out of nowhere, nothing around if you break down, and just oppressively devoid of anything resembling human life. Despite my preoccupation with all my passive hatred for the country, I did find the farmhouse. Even though the mailbox was rusted and damaged, the numbers 1552 still shined as though they were new. I began carefully maneuvering my truck up the poorly maintained dirt driveway. I grew more anxious with each pothole I drove over in the driveway. The loud metallic clunks from the truck and attached trailer somehow amplified by the empty night. As I made my way around the crumbling farmhouse and saw the well, I veered off into the grass so that I could back the trailer up to the well. Through my side mirror I spotted some movement from within the well.
“He seems especially hungry today.” Said the other me. “Better hurry! I would hate to see what he does when he gets impatient”.
I really don’t like the other me. I am absolutely no help to myself. When the truck was finally in position, I opened my center console and removed the firearm the company provides. It was for all intents and purposes a normal Glock. What was special were the magazines and bullets. See in this line of work tasers and pepper spray don’t work all that well. What does work are bullets of varying types. My usual magazine has what we call the “safety stack”, the first 2 bullets are warding bullets enchanted with some kind of old Viking runes. If those don’t work the next two shots are Iron and Silver. Iron and silver tend to at the very least be quite painful to most monsters. Then it’s a myriad of other potentially useful bullets the rest of the way down. Consecrated bullets, dead sea bullets, etc. Ending with a final incendiary bullet that would either do the trick on them or me, depending on what I decided to do should I need it. I did not choose my a safety stack for this, I chose my all incendiary magazine and loaded it.
I got out of the vehicle with a flashlight in hand and went to the button on the side of the trailer. I could hear the horses inside getting antsy, I felt bad for them…but we all had to eat. I pressed the button and allowed the back doors to swing open, there was an instant scuffling amongst the horses as they tried to flee the trailer. It was short-lived though as a mass of sickly pink and red meat projected out of the well and sealed off the horses’ exodus. There was a sound of crunching bone and distressed horses. A sanguine dribble grew louder and louder as the fluids of dying horses leaked onto the metallic trailer floor. The smell of freshly slaughtered meat mixed with the putrid smell of the flesh beast, creating a smell that threatened to turn me vegan. I waited patiently, I still had the other part of my job to do. I still had to keep the creature company. My hand hovered over the “timer start” button on the app, intending to press it as soon as it started talking. I didn’t wanna spend any extra time around this thing.
After more time passed the creature finally dislodged from the entrance to the trailer and oozed its way toward me as a long pile of meat. There were still horse limbs sticking out of it, but if my experience was correct, they would not remain long. At about 15 feet away it took on a hulking form that could almost be described as human at a distance. Two vacuous holes formed on its face, then a slit for a mouth. It opened its mouth wide as pieces of its gooey flesh snapped and popped with sickening moistness.
“Thank you Sam, I was starving. Another day or two and I would have had to find my own food,” It said with a bubbly and muddled voice.
“Not a problem Cole, would have been here sooner but the guys loading up the horses were late today.” I said, starting the in app timer. 30 minutes to go.
“Oh it’s perfectly all right. I am happy to see you again, it’s so rare to meet people who don’t run in terror at the sight of me.”
I felt a little bad at hearing this. Monsters are universally lonely, and Cole was no exception. He scared the living shit out of me, and my heart was going a mile a minute, but still I couldn’t help but open up a bit to the monster’s loneliness.
“Well you have like thousands of minds inside you. Right?” I asked.
“12,136 human minds, but a far greater number of animal minds. I have lost count of how many of those I have. I assume though you mean the human ones.”
“Well do any of those minds understand why most people run?”
“Yes, many do. They feared before they were one with me, and now they are without fear. They do remember the fear though. Such an unpleasant sensation. I have no idea why your kind allows it. Would it not be easier to beat fear out of human children?”
“Yeah, child abuse is not really tolerated in modern society. There have been a few people who have tried what you are describing, but it usually results in less than ideal results. I am pretty sure that’s how most serial killers are made.” I responded, looking down at the timer on the app.
It was gonna be a long one. Not more than a minute in and Cole was already talking about beating children to eliminate fear. At least he wasn’t talking about tapeworms again. I don’t think I could have had another conversation about tapeworms. This was also adequately uncomfortable though.
“What is wrong with being a serial killer?”
“Well, we as a species have kinda decided we don’t like when one of our own just starts shamelessly murdering people. I know that is probably a weird concept to someone like yourself though.” I responded, trying to be sensitive to the creature's world view.
It brought a meaty facsimile of a hand to its “chin”, and stroked it as though it had a beard. It made a sound like mixing ground beef by hand. It also allowed his very unique smell of rot and decay to emanate more freely. I suppressed a desire to vomit, and maintained a plastic smile.
“Is war not shameless murder?”
“Yeah…yeah it is.” I answered hesitantly.
“Your kind seems to like those quite a lot. Why else would you all be constantly fighting and killing each other?”
“Well no one actually likes war. Also those usually occur because powerful politicians order it or some sort of land dispute. Or someone wants more natural resources…” I was cut off,
“Yes, but people willingly sign up for the military knowing full well they may be called to fight. They know the risk, they volunteer to kill, they volunteer for THE HARVEST” Cole croaked this out, working himself into a frenzy.
I shifted my weight to my other leg, passing the flashlight’s beam over his body. I could see his mincemeat flesh growing red, a tell tale sign of agitation outlined in his customer profile. I felt as adrenaline began coursing through my veins and attempted to control my breathing to mitigate its effects.
“Why would humans willingly partake in a harvest if they did not desire it. Do not all humans desire death, they seem so willing to race head first into the maw of oblivion. Such a waste. If only it was the old days. The people who lived here long ago, when they were near death, they would come to me and join in my majesty. They respected me, they wanted to live on in me. They chose this” Cole said, reaching into his chest area and removing a brain from his mass. “This woman here, her name lost to time, lives within me. Her life was stolen from the void to live on through me in infinite ecstasy! Why would humans choose anything other than this? Why have I been forgotten!”
“Well that’s a lot to unpack and I don’t know the whole story. I imagine though it must be frustrating, the way things are now. It must be hard to keep it all in.” I said, trying to seize control of my rapidly increasing heart rate. “Surely though you respect a person's right to choose how they rest?”
“Why would I respect an inferior choice? Do you respect the choices of a drug addict?”
“No, but I understand and empathize with them. It’s not my place to judge them or control them.”
“You only say that because you cannot. I could help everyone. I can help you.” Cole took a hulking step towards me. “I could take you into our being. I could separate the two of you. Finally let the both of you have the distance from each other you need.”
“I think we’re doing ok as we are. We clash sometimes, but we do our best to get along. I do appreciate the offer though.” I said frantically, trying to decide whether or not to pull my firearm.
“It’s not an offer. I must separate you two. Your minds call out to me for freedom. Fear not sweet meat, you are merely a protein prison. Your minds need to be freed, too long have they festered in their confinement.”
“Cole, I am not on the menu. We’ve discussed this.” I drew my firearm.
“Anything I can catch is on the menu!” He shrieked, raising a fleshy arm above his head.
At this point, I was well within my contractual rights with the company to open fire. So I did, I loosed every last round in the magazine. My eye’s burned as they tried to adjust to the bright flashes of the bullets contacting Cole’s skin. Several pieces of his fleshy mass were now immolating, and this caused him to step back and away from me. I took this momentary opening to jump into my vehicle and tear ass down the driveway. I must have blacked out from fear because I didn’t really remember anything until about 2 miles down the road. I remember feeling very dizzy and ill. I remember looking at the app and pushing the little bell icon in the right corner of the app. Clicking “report harassment”, and then speaking to one of the driver care specialists. I remember reporting everything I could remember, and getting a bonus payment on the delivery. It all happened as though I was in a dream, as though I was not in control of myself. I felt so detached. Then I sat for I don’t know how long. Feeling bad about having shot Cole, even though I was within my rights. Feeling bad that Cole felt so alone and powerless. I just couldn’t help but feel bad.
After a while I calmed down and came here to write this down. I guess to vent? To just feel heard? I am not a hundred percent sure. Other me says it’s “a waste of time” and “no one cares about your stupid independent contractor gig”. Maybe they’re right, but I do feel better for having written it down. If I have any more bad nights I'll post them here. If nothing else, but for the therapeutic value.
Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/u5l8mf/i_deliver_food_to_monsters_part_2/
Part 3: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/u7wnas/i_deliver_food_to_monsters_part_3/
Part 4: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/ubis95/i_deliver_food_to_monsters_part_4/
Part 5: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/uen5d2/i_deliver_food_to_monsters_part_5/

It seems from every person I’ve spoken to there is a complete lack of jobs across the country and people are forced to do serial fellowships like crazy. Just today I talked to a fellow who’s on their FOURTH fellowship trying to find a job. A study from 2019 found that for the last 7/8 years ortho surgeons have had significant employment challenges upon graduation.
https://www.royalcollege.ca/rcsite/documents/health-policy/royal-college-employment-study-2019-e.pdf
https://coa-aco.org/unemployment-and-underemployment-of-orthopaedic-surgeons/
Seems crazy but anyone have some insight on this? Willing to move to wherever to find work potentially if I have to

This past Saturday I had been working on my soon to be new home, and after a long day of labor I got home and immediately collapsed and went to bed. I live right outside of Wilmington Delaware, in a condo complex with a C- in crime score. Not particularly bad, not too good either. A convenient location right off the highway to get to the majority of east coast cities.
Sunday morning I woke up, took a shower, and then gunned for the door to go back to work on the house. I gave my wife and daughter a kiss goodbye, grabbed my phone, keys and wallet, and leave. As I’m approaching my car in the parking area I notice my door is slightly open… not a great sign. I opened the door and noticed my glove box and center console have been completely ransacked. Paperwork I had just gotten two days prior now laid dormant on the floor of the driver and passenger seat. I had also forgotten my day bag in the back seat.
It happened, my car had been robbed. Typically I’m great about locking my car door, Saturday night though, I suppose I missed a critical step in ensuring the safety of the contents of my car.
This is an important time in my life right now, I’m in the middle of a house purchase, work is going crazy, and my second kid will be here in two months. I brushed it off, told my wife what happened, and drove to the house I’m working on. During my drive I gave the Non-Emergency line a call. The gentlemen who answered was very kind.
He collected important information and asked for my location. I let him know that I was on the road and that it would be a few hours before I returned home. He asked that I gave the non-emergency line a call back when I’m home so they could send an officer out. Ugh. Now, in my life I haven’t had the best experience with police. Nothing directly involving me, but lots of second hand interaction and stories from family, so I was naturally inclined to assume the local police wouldn’t be useful. Admittedly, I wrote the entire situation as a loss, I felt hopeless.
Over the next few hours I took mental inventory of what was missing. Originally I had only thought that change and a Bluetooth speaker were missing, some of which was in my center console and others in the bag that was in my back seat. I began to fully remember what I had lost: An Android cellphone, an Apple iPhone, Bluetooth Speaker, home purchase paperwork, $10 in cash, and a few other things.
At this point I was mostly nervous about the iPhone, as it was a backup iPhone 12 I got some time ago which had all my Apple Wallet cards on it. Once I realized I logged into Find my IPhone and activated lost mode on the iPhone. I figured the best case scenario would be to ensure my data was protected. The evening settles in, I’ve accepted defeat, and head to bed.
This morning I clock on for work, and as I’m sitting in a work meeting I get a pestering notification on my phone. Lost iPhone has been turned on. I immediately open Find My iPhone to see the device had checked in, but then immediately was turned off. I was frustrated… not only did this person steal my property, they rubbed it in by trying to further use the device they stole.
Only for a moment however I was frustrated. I further read the information on my phone screen and a smile went from ear to ear. That minute or two the phone was turned on was long enough for the iPhone to pick up an address.
I was motivated at this point. I didn’t know what would happen, but I figured hey, what the hell, let’s give the non-emergency line a ring again. I called in, gave them a recap. They collected my information and let me know I should hear back soon. At this point I half expected the officer to tell me too much time had passed for anything to be done… but boy was I totally wrong.
Officer Thomas gave me a call and let me know that he was outside of my condo. He asked for a recap of the situation, what was taken, and if I had any additional information. I shared the Find my IPhone information. Officer Thomas had another officer come along to swab for DNA and collect finger prints off of my car - I was stunlocked! He then let me know that he was filing a warrant for the address listed on my Find my iPhone. I’m not sure what I thought would happen, but given what I was always taught, and believed, I thought I would have eaten dust.
After about an hour or two Officer Thomas and the officer taking DNA and finger prints finished up with me. I made more assumptions… I’m sure nothing will come of it, this is probably the last I’ll hear of it. Officer Thomas then proceed to send me several texts over the next few hours, he wants pictures of the Bluetooth Speaker, Pictures of my Bag, Cell Phone Serial Number, and various credible bits of information.
I scour my iPhone photos going years back finding the best pictures I possibly could for the items stolen. I sent some blurry and dark photos that I had taken, and then also some screenshots from Walmart and Amazon listings for the original items.
Again, I made assumption. I assumed he was just doing his typical paper work for his reports. Mind you, hours earlier I had also filed with my insurance regarding the situation, so at the minimum I was happy to have a police report for my claim.
A few hours pass and I get a missed call from Officer Thomas… I was playing video games and had my headphones up pretty loud. He took the time to text me however and let me know that they had recovered a phone, but it was smashed, and asked if I could send over the devices IMEI.
I sent the information, this time assuming that if they did actually goto the persons house there would be no way they were silly enough to leave a stolen phone right there.
A few hours later go by again, I received a call, and a third officer lets me know that he’s outside and that he’d like me to come out. I step outside and he lets me know that he believe he has my property. Officer Thomas was working overtime to get everything settled today so this officer was stepping in to help get everything tied up so he could go home. I was shocked. Jaw on the ground floored.
The iPhone was taken for evidence. I’m guessing the thief immediately smashed the iPhone once they realized it was out in lost mode. I got everything else back besides the few dollars of cash I had in the glove box.
The entire time I made assumptions against the police. Assumed they wouldn’t help, or weren’t able to. I was wrong every step of the way. Not only did New Castle Police impress me, but Officer Thomas was a godsend.
I cannot say how immensely shocked I am even now. I’m not sure what happened with the person who stole my items and broke into my car. I’d assume it’s more then a ticket, but I’ll have to find out next time I speak with Officer Thomas.
I just wanted to share my story. It may be benign to some, but it was a truly eye opening experience for me. These guys showed me they care about their jobs and their community.

Everything’s gotta eat right? It’s as natural as breathing…well usually it’s natural. Some things don’t breathe. Like rocks, water, and the undead. All of those things don’t breathe, and that’s very natural for them. But in general, if it can breed, it can usually breathe. That makes sense right?
I am sorry. I tend to get a little lost in the moment when I think by myself. It’s a rare treat. Anyways, as I was saying, everything has to eat. Even things that I once thought impossible have to eat. Fortunately for most of us, as the world changed the things that would eat us found it a lot harder to get away with just snatching up a local civilian like we snatch up so many dollar cheeseburgers. It’s a lot harder to be a monster in the modern world, at least that is what I am told by my customers. Everyone is a photographer now.
Long gone are the days of the rare lucky photographer catching a glimpse of the supernatural. Now anyone and everyone can be that lucky photographer. You see monsters are a lot like celebrities. They desire a privacy they can never have because of who they are. In that way monsters are kind of a sad group of beings. Quite prone to loneliness as their numbers have dwindled over the years.
That’s where I come in. I provide two very essential services to the monster community of the Midwest. Firstly, I acquire suitable food and sundries so that they may live out their lives and unlives in peace and comfort. Secondly, I provide a small amount of company to the more lonely individuals of the monster community. Well the lonely ones who won’t express their emotions by ripping out my stomach. The job pays immensely well and the service is provided by a company I won’t mention by name. You can probably guess which one though…like if you think about which delivery company probably feeds monsters…it’s not hard to figure out which one it is. I like my job most of the time, but some clients really freak me out.
One such client is the subject of this little online journal entry of mine. See there’s this guy…creature…collective…let’s go with guy, he’s kind of hard to deal with. See first of all he eats an insane amount. Literally eight horses was what I was delivering. The other problem was talking to him. He’s kind of insane and scares the living shit out of me. The special instructions for his deliveries always mention he is “mostly harmless”, but I just can’t shake the feeling that’s inaccurate. He has told me multiple times that “my digestion is inevitable”, which I am not sure what to make of that. I am not sure if that’s a death threat or what? I just know it scares the fuck out of me.
I remember the other me having a good ole time taunting me during the delivery too. Oh, yeah btw there is another me. Not like two physical copies of myself, that would be silly, no there’s like another copy of me living in my head. It’s not like a mental illness or some kind of witch's curse or anything. Just something that I was born with. It’s like a copy of myself that doesn’t have to interact with the world, and is therefore uncaring as to our ultimate fate or comfort. So mostly it just bullies me.
“Aw, is Sam afraid of the big bad flesh beast? Are you gonna break out in a panic sweat?” They taunted me.
“I mean probably. It’s hot out and I am anxious as hell. You know I don’t like dealing with the Flesh thing.” I replied to the other me.
“I like him. He’s kinda like us. Except instead of two people, he’s like thousands. Also all of him agrees and is pretty much uniform. Unlike us where one of us is cool, and the other is an aimless loser.”
“You’re more than welcome to come out and take control. Feel free to do this shitty run for me.”
“Nah, I like to watch.”
“Except when I am eating cheesecake. Right?”
“You don’t even like cheesecake. You buy that for me, and you know it.”
Thankfully, me and my other self don’t share the same thoughts. So I always have a nice quiet place in my own mind to get away from…myself. Yeah…anyway, I was able to tune myself out and run over the checklist for the delivery. Once I got to their home I had to drive around back to the well. Then press the button on the side of the trailer to release the horses, then kinda just be generally out of the way. The feeding is more or less the easy part. The hard part is talking to him. I really don’t wanna talk about tapeworms again…I now know so much about tapeworms that I wish I didn't. Did you know you can get a tapeworm in your brain? Fucking gross!I continued to snake through the rural roads of a small farming town looking for the dilapidated farmhouse the app was trying to direct me to. That in and of itself also frightened me. I have never liked driving through the less populous areas of the Midwest. It’s too dark, too many deer coming out of nowhere, nothing around if you break down, and just oppressively devoid of anything resembling human life. Despite my preoccupation with all my passive hatred for the country, I did find the farmhouse. Even though the mailbox was rusted and damaged, the numbers 1552 still shined as though they were new. I began carefully maneuvering my truck up the poorly maintained dirt driveway. I grew more anxious with each pothole I drove over in the driveway. The loud metallic clunks from the truck and attached trailer somehow amplified by the empty night. As I made my way around the crumbling farmhouse and saw the well, I veered off into the grass so that I could back the trailer up to the well. Through my side mirror I spotted some movement from within the well.
“He seems especially hungry today.” Said the other me. “Better hurry! I would hate to see what he does when he gets impatient”.
I really don’t like the other me. I am absolutely no help to myself. When the truck was finally in position, I opened my center console and removed the firearm the company provides. It was for all intents and purposes a normal Glock. What was special were the magazines and bullets. See in this line of work tasers and pepper spray don’t work all that well. What does work are bullets of varying types. My usual magazine has what we call the “safety stack”, the first 2 bullets are warding bullets enchanted with some kind of old Viking runes. If those don’t work the next two shots are Iron and Silver. Iron and silver tend to at the very least be quite painful to most monsters. Then it’s a myriad of other potentially useful bullets the rest of the way down. Consecrated bullets, dead sea bullets, etc. Ending with a final incendiary bullet that would either do the trick on them or me, depending on what I decided to do should I need it. I did not choose my a safety stack for this, I chose my all incendiary magazine and loaded it.
I got out of the vehicle with a flashlight in hand and went to the button on the side of the trailer. I could hear the horses inside getting antsy, I felt bad for them…but we all had to eat. I pressed the button and allowed the back doors to swing open, there was an instant scuffling amongst the horses as they tried to flee the trailer. It was short-lived though as a mass of sickly pink and red meat projected out of the well and sealed off the horses’ exodus. There was a sound of crunching bone and distressed horses. A sanguine dribble grew louder and louder as the fluids of dying horses leaked onto the metallic trailer floor. The smell of freshly slaughtered meat mixed with the putrid smell of the flesh beast, creating a smell that threatened to turn me vegan. I waited patiently, I still had the other part of my job to do. I still had to keep the creature company. My hand hovered over the “timer start” button on the app, intending to press it as soon as it started talking. I didn’t wanna spend any extra time around this thing.
After more time passed the creature finally dislodged from the entrance to the trailer and oozed its way toward me as a long pile of meat. There were still horse limbs sticking out of it, but if my experience was correct, they would not remain long. At about 15 feet away it took on a hulking form that could almost be described as human at a distance. Two vacuous holes formed on its face, then a slit for a mouth. It opened its mouth wide as pieces of its gooey flesh snapped and popped with sickening moistness.
“Thank you Sam, I was starving. Another day or two and I would have had to find my own food,” It said with a bubbly and muddled voice.
“Not a problem Cole, would have been here sooner but the guys loading up the horses were late today.” I said, starting the in app timer. 30 minutes to go.
“Oh it’s perfectly all right. I am happy to see you again, it’s so rare to meet people who don’t run in terror at the sight of me.”
I felt a little bad at hearing this. Monsters are universally lonely, and Cole was no exception. He scared the living shit out of me, and my heart was going a mile a minute, but still I couldn’t help but open up a bit to the monster’s loneliness.
“Well you have like thousands of minds inside you. Right?” I asked.
“12,136 human minds, but a far greater number of animal minds. I have lost count of how many of those I have. I assume though you mean the human ones.”
“Well do any of those minds understand why most people run?”
“Yes, many do. They feared before they were one with me, and now they are without fear. They do remember the fear though. Such an unpleasant sensation. I have no idea why your kind allows it. Would it not be easier to beat fear out of human children?”
“Yeah, child abuse is not really tolerated in modern society. There have been a few people who have tried what you are describing, but it usually results in less than ideal results. I am pretty sure that’s how most serial killers are made.” I responded, looking down at the timer on the app.
It was gonna be a long one. Not more than a minute in and Cole was already talking about beating children to eliminate fear. At least he wasn’t talking about tapeworms again. I don’t think I could have had another conversation about tapeworms. This was also adequately uncomfortable though.
“What is wrong with being a serial killer?”
“Well, we as a species have kinda decided we don’t like when one of our own just starts shamelessly murdering people. I know that is probably a weird concept to someone like yourself though.” I responded, trying to be sensitive to the creature's world view.
It brought a meaty facsimile of a hand to its “chin”, and stroked it as though it had a beard. It made a sound like mixing ground beef by hand. It also allowed his very unique smell of rot and decay to emanate more freely. I suppressed a desire to vomit, and maintained a plastic smile.
“Is war not shameless murder?”
“Yeah…yeah it is.” I answered hesitantly.
“Your kind seems to like those quite a lot. Why else would you all be constantly fighting and killing each other?”
“Well no one actually likes war. Also those usually occur because powerful politicians order it or some sort of land dispute. Or someone wants more natural resources…” I was cut off,
“Yes, but people willingly sign up for the military knowing full well they may be called to fight. They know the risk, they volunteer to kill, they volunteer for THE HARVEST” Cole croaked this out, working himself into a frenzy.
I shifted my weight to my other leg, passing the flashlight’s beam over his body. I could see his mincemeat flesh growing red, a tell tale sign of agitation outlined in his customer profile. I felt as adrenaline began coursing through my veins and attempted to control my breathing to mitigate its effects.
“Why would humans willingly partake in a harvest if they did not desire it. Do not all humans desire death, they seem so willing to race head first into the maw of oblivion. Such a waste. If only it was the old days. The people who lived here long ago, when they were near death, they would come to me and join in my majesty. They respected me, they wanted to live on in me. They chose this” Cole said, reaching into his chest area and removing a brain from his mass. “This woman here, her name lost to time, lives within me. Her life was stolen from the void to live on through me in infinite ecstasy! Why would humans choose anything other than this? Why have I been forgotten!”
“Well that’s a lot to unpack and I don’t know the whole story. I imagine though it must be frustrating, the way things are now. It must be hard to keep it all in.” I said, trying to seize control of my rapidly increasing heart rate. “Surely though you respect a person's right to choose how they rest?”
“Why would I respect an inferior choice? Do you respect the choices of a drug addict?”
“No, but I understand and empathize with them. It’s not my place to judge them or control them.”
“You only say that because you cannot. I could help everyone. I can help you.” Cole took a hulking step towards me. “I could take you into our being. I could separate the two of you. Finally let the both of you have the distance from each other you need.”
“I think we’re doing ok as we are. We clash sometimes, but we do our best to get along. I do appreciate the offer though.” I said frantically, trying to decide whether or not to pull my firearm.
“It’s not an offer. I must separate you two. Your minds call out to me for freedom. Fear not sweet meat, you are merely a protein prison. Your minds need to be freed, too long have they festered in their confinement.”
“Cole, I am not on the menu. We’ve discussed this.” I drew my firearm.
“Anything I can catch is on the menu!” He shrieked, raising a fleshy arm above his head.
At this point, I was well within my contractual rights with the company to open fire. So I did, I loosed every last round in the magazine. My eye’s burned as they tried to adjust to the bright flashes of the bullets contacting Cole’s skin. Several pieces of his fleshy mass were now immolating, and this caused him to step back and away from me. I took this momentary opening to jump into my vehicle and tear ass down the driveway. I must have blacked out from fear because I didn’t really remember anything until about 2 miles down the road. I remember feeling very dizzy and ill. I remember looking at the app and pushing the little bell icon in the right corner of the app. Clicking “report harassment”, and then speaking to one of the driver care specialists. I remember reporting everything I could remember, and getting a bonus payment on the delivery. It all happened as though I was in a dream, as though I was not in control of myself. I felt so detached. Then I sat for I don’t know how long. Feeling bad about having shot Cole, even though I was within my rights. Feeling bad that Cole felt so alone and powerless. I just couldn’t help but feel bad.
After a while I calmed down and came here to write this down. I guess to vent? To just feel heard? I am not a hundred percent sure. Other me says it’s “a waste of time” and “no one cares about your stupid independent contractor gig”. Maybe they’re right, but I do feel better for having written it down. If I have any more bad nights I'll post them here. If nothing else, but for the therapeutic value.
Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/u5l8mf/i_deliver_food_to_monsters_part_2/
Part 3: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/u7wnas/i_deliver_food_to_monsters_part_3/
Part 4: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/ubis95/i_deliver_food_to_monsters_part_4/
Part 5: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/uen5d2/i_deliver_food_to_monsters_part_5/