Young restless dirty laundry

Okay this sounds dumb I know. I’ve never posted on Reddit so I guess I’ll just get into it, my fiancé (M25) and I (F22) have been together for 5 years. We’ve had our ups and downs but have come to a place where we feel our relationship is quite healthy. We communicate properly, both have jobs, and cars. We have a lot of trust in each other.
This is going to be complicated but bare with me. We live in an apartment complex with a shared laundry room. Other residents often leave clothing in the laundry room, stuff they don’t want, usually with a free sign but sometimes just left there. We also had a roommate for a few months (this is important later).
A few weeks ago my fiancé said our dogs had chew up a pair of my underwear, this is common for my dogs, but I totally spaced checking it out and figured he threw them away. Well last week I was cleaning and came across this pair of underwear and realized that these aren’t mine. This isn’t the first time I’ve found female clothing in our apartment I didn’t recognize, but the shared laundry room made things alittle difficult, especially with messy neighbors who leave their clothes everywhere constantly. However, our dogs don’t chew up clean clothing. Only dirty clothes.
Then a couple of days ago I found a pink dollar tree razor inside the laundry basket. Now I’m alittle ashamed to admit this, but I almost never do laundry. My fiancé takes care of that for both of us, so it’s become considered “his chore” along with taking out the garbage, while I do the dishes and other things. Finding this pink cheap razor in the clean laundry basket was weird because it wasn’t mixed in with the clothes or anything, it looked like it was placed there and a pile a clothes was placed on top of it. He tells me our old roommate (M47) used cheap pink razors cuz they were cheap and apparently “ you get more razors when you get the pink ones” ? And the females clothes were from the laundry room.
I really really want to believe him, I love this man so much. We’ve been through so much together. We had a miscarriage last year and have been trying for a baby the last few months and now I’m scared. I’ve gone through his phone and found nothing. What should I do? Do I believe him? For now I’ve kind of just ignored that any of it has happened because I don’t know what to do. I really want to believe him, but it sounds ridiculous. Thank you for reading, sorry if it isn’t great, I’ve never made a post on Reddit before.

1 . Compared to the original, this is an unwatchable travesty on every level.
2 . Compared to the live-action remakes of this generation, it is pretty good, and the '89 songs are obviously still great...

1. . . . But, the nuances in change and inflection, as well as the dramatic high notes added to change what were already perfect songs into what are now try-hard ballads, can be jarring and/or feel dense in your ears.
   
2. The three new songs are shockingly, offensively bad. Terribly written cheap cliches, horribly sung, and unnecessarily character-bending; low-hangy-fruity metaphors about "uncharted water" vs "gravity" like wtf bitches, I know this was a kid's film but it wasn't some like "goo-goo-ga-ga teletubbies dumb-dumb spoonfeed me and beat me over the head" level infant show you assholes, what is this: a. Ariel's new song is so awful it's actually hurtful and degrading to viewers everywhere- fans and nonfans alike. And referring to herself using the third person is not an Ariel thing, it's a loser thing; b. Eric's strangely effeminate, emasculating, and desperate plea to be rescued by his fantasy girl in the form of his song is just unbelievable. Unbelievable what they did to that man, what a pansy they reduced him to. c. Scuttle's song ironically seems the most appropriate, at least in that it's short and funny enough without altering the character or tone much at all.
   
3. Eric is emasculated on various levels (and he is wearing Aladdin's vest, why). He doesn't ever get to prove himself, he doesn't get to annihilate Ursula and save Ariel, and they've even given him a mother who basically keeps his balls in her purse: why?
   
4. That's not Ariel. Not physically, not energetically. If this girl is confused/offended to find that people don't think she looks like Ariel, then she obviously needs mental help. And, she often sounds like JLo, as in weirdly nasal and shrill. She doesn't fit the bill, stop trying to pretend she does. We have fucking eyes lol the jig is up wtf are you doing. Be embarrassed already and go delete this movie from history right now. The dinglehopper, the iconic hair flip breaking the surface? This shit wasn't written for dreadlocks, neither could be practically accomplished in dreadlocks. Singing longingly at him from the rock, hair flowing wildly and brightly in the wind? Now we have some heavy head of a mop struggling humiliatingly and painfully to prop itself on a rock in some grim display despite it being broad fucking daylight somehow? wtf you clowns. You would have at least made the sea surface fucking sparkle and stuff if it didn't only overemphasize how drab your mermaid inherently is.
   

Those aren't her sisters, what with their random new names. That's not Ursula, and Ursula is not Ariel's auntie. That's not Triton, mainly because Triton was never before alluded to as a total zeus-gigolo king-bigelow collecting daughters from every culture the way Ariel collects endless thingamabobs from the surface.

1. Those are not Sebastian, Scuttle, and Flounder, but they are endearing enough for this film, and they're a likable trio.
   
2. The girl who plays Vanessa is the best part of this film and the best actor here: her screen time is like a total of 60-90 seconds in all, and yet she has the most intense and fulfilling resemblance to the energy of the cartoon character she is portraying. She for me made this remake worth it over anything else here.
   
3. The graphics are not superb if you care about that stuff. I don't really so it didn't bug me, but nobody looks like they're underwater during dialogues and there are no bubbles ever. The distant shots of her swimming through the water are lovely.
   
4. The dresses. The world's most iconic dresses: the blue town dress with the blue bouncy bow, the pink dining gown, the shimmering purple gown, even the white shipwreck thingy with ropes that Scuttle designed. Not a single one of them anywhere to be found in the remake, how dare they...?
   

Instead, we get this cheap, dull frump of a frilly tulle nightmare from some hell dimension where tears are the only currency, paired with some dirty rag of a headband...? wtf man. They didn't even try. They literally kidnapped a Knott's Berry Farm employee in the midst of her jam-making shift, beat her up, stole her smock, and threw it at this random black kid, and then rolled cameras like "here- you be ariel i guess. we have no time, this much so far has already cost $17 billion, hurry, the goal was to launder money not actually spend any, quiCK!"
And what is that weird tube top she wears as a mermaid? WTF is that? A piece of her own fin that she skinned off and plastered across her chest...? Why does it have scales dude it still looks alive and what the fuck is wrong with ALL of you sisters and your skin looking like your fins in the form of fancy tops? Is this how your skin just grows, like those are your tits? Because if not, then you found fish that look exactly like yourselves and harvested them for fashion, if not self-mutilated.

1. Two-hour run time = too long.
   
2. It'll make you nostalgic over the original so you'll likely rewatch the '89 classic to wash this one out of your mouth.
   

I ended it there.
​
And then a new wave started forming so I continued lol.

1. There is a painful recurring issue in this movie: some moments and lines are nearly identical to a point that is almost so fulfilling to relive ... and then there's this slight yet awkward change in the delivery or the word inflection or something that creates this huge THUD in energy, like it just FALLS so LIMP on your head. They invite the comparison and use it to hook your engagement for a second, manipulating you through a nostalgia-mimic-tease, then they immediately drop the ball and make it SUCK and force you to just bo0m DISSOCIATE so hard. I can't explain what a gross, violating feeling it is. It's like, do something way different, OR keep everything the exact same, DON'T meander about somewhere in the middle where there is zero meaning, and DON'T embark upon recreating a scene or a line only to deviate from it mid-sequence or mid-sentence.
   
2. It's creepy any time she pops her head above water lurking to secretly observe Eric. It's like horrifying. Why is it always dark, why is she always wriggling her fingers like an excited witch over the rocks, and why does her hair look like the girl's from The Ring.
   
3. In Aladdin, they do this weird thing where "the help" gets involved in the background like in a Shakespearean play, to aid in the young lovers' love, which I thought was annoying. Then they photocopied that general subplot into this remake too, shamelessly, carelessly, as not-Grimsby and some random new lady nobody asked for are to be some unsung heroes now.
   
4. Also, they morphed Eric into Princess Jasmine in this remake, what with his "but i don't wanna be a prince, i wanna go beyond the palace walls, oppressive parent-figure!" just to complete his character transformation into a woman, I guess?
   
5. Ariel is the valiant knight who kills Ursula, and she doesn't wed Erica in the end, just to complete her character transformation into a man, I guess?
   
6. Ariel suddenly chiming in passionately during "Under the Sea" is a humiliating misunderstanding of the whole plot.
   
7. Scuttle was honestly okay. Of all the horrible things of this movie, she's not among them. Obnoxious, slapsticky, raspy, blunt ass: she's not Scuttle, but she's a good enough rendition of his general energy. Most importantly, kids will likely enjoy Scuttle and Sebastian more than anything else over the grueling two hours.
   
8. There's nothing to say about Triton, because there was nothing there. Just the low monotone echoes of some hispanic dude in the distance? He was like a ghost, played by a ghost.
   

There's nothing to say about Ursula, because there was nothing there. She was almost exactly like the cartoon one for the most part, only like the general skeleton form or outline of her with nothing inside. Or like a cardboard cutout of her that somebody apathetically toted about the scenery as if just to get a reference the way they do in pre-shoots and rehearsals and shit. The parts where she should be intensely belting or spitting shit out, she is muted; the parts where she should be calm, she is belting shit out and making a spectacle out of her confused, talentless self.

1. There's no grand orchestral opening scene introducing the sisters- huge letdown from the film's onset. But at least it plummets your expectations to a safe below ground haven from whence you might endure the rest of the, like I said, grueling hours.
   
2. The glittery sparkling ocean surface and dreamy land/seascapes: nowhere to be found. The gorgeous glistening seaside castle: fucking gone man. There are just zero shimmers, sparkles, bubbles, or color pops in this bleak abysmal damp cave of a fucking movie, people, when that was like 94% of the freaking aesthetic, energy, spirit, function, lullaby, and purpose of the goddamn original. I'll kill you all for this shit.
   
3. In the end, all the wealthy black fisherman in broken down boats (?) within a blink of an eye suddenly find themselves surrounded by terrifying sci-fi fish-people-aliens, some just chilling there in their own personal boats like this is their uncle's lagoon, five seconds away from murdering this entire village if they so choose, nonchalantly flapping their gigantic slimy fins all over the place with such a sense of belonging somehow like this is their comfort zone, rubbing their titty-scales on everybody's personal property, making out with the locals and shit- like holy smokes they came together pretty quick, no shock, no nothing, fucking none of these humans are scared, confused, or even like squeamish? BUT the only other time you saw this shit was when that gigantic octopus almost ate all of your babies at the last wedding: why are you so calm that being your only other association to these creatures...?! And if you're this calm and unfazed by sea-people, then what the fuck was even the main conflict of this entire film? Ariel could have been flapping her way through the city streets emasculating Eric in public instead of just in private this whole time, obviously nobody here cares, fish, human, pegasus, black queen, what have you, they're all within the realm of possibility- nay, probability. In the cartoon, the mermaids respect fucking boundaries in the end, they're just waving goodbye from their ocean border, they're not crawling into the people's fucking houses at high tide wagging their fish genitals at humanity looking to breed a new species in the name of a wedding nobody invited them to wtf is this.
   
4. The original's a father-daughter story before it's a boy-girl-love story. Anybody who gives a shit about that movie knows that. Doing things like giving Erica extra songs/story pieces as if he's co-star of the narrative is such a mortifyingly dense misconception of such an otherwise uniquely gorgeous, deep story singing a whole other tune entirely. Legitimately shameful.
   

. . . AND THEN rewriting the "love story" so that Ariel's "a more empowered female" as if to admit you mislabeled the original Ariel "unempowered," as in, you obviously oppressed her by overlooking everything beautiful and true about her, projecting all of this shit "to fix" that didn't even exist, and by "fixing it" as you have, you only stripped the girl of her voice. Your movie makes it clear you have no idea what the film you're "recreating" is even about, and your capacity to grasp the basic symbolism, themes, and meanings of even children's films is below a third-grade level.
​

SO and I just unexpectedly rescued this poor sweet baby from a vacant property last night and we have been getting her settled in today. She is 8-10 weeks old and 1.5 lbs per the Petco vet (I know, not the best option but we really wanted to get her a basic evaluation ASAP without a wait). Because of her age and size, per the vets advice and per the heavy Googling I’ve been doing, it seems that most if not all topical medications, flea collars, etc will not be safe to use for another 2-4 weeks.
We have given her two gentle Dawn soap baths so far (having bought a flea comb for the second go) which have been able to get a lot of them out but I don’t think she’s out of the woods yet. I still see her itch and pick at herself like crazy, have found the occasional stray crawler on her, and I know we also have to account for eggs hatching.
She is currently quarantined in our master bathroom. We had her in the guest bathroom originally but moved her because we recently had work done on the master shower and can’t use it right now anyway while a part needs to be replaced, thus less frequent coming and going. However I’m worried about the close bedroom proximity now and am wary of fleas being near my own sleeping area.
I’ve been washing every towel and bath mat she’s come into contact with on the highest setting that can be safely used. I’m trying to keep any clothes that we’ve worn while being heavily in contact with her in a separate pile in the laundry room to be washed, and I decided to invest in a sealable plastic bin to keep my unwashed-but-pre-kitten clothes in until I can get them to the wash (delayed rn while cycling both cat towels and our shower towels - which have of course been in the affected areas). Once those are clean I might store other items in it for protection if it feels needed.
We have no carpet except for in our screened patio area, which she has briefly had partial access to for enrichment, but it is sealed off from the interior of the house. Our interior is mostly wood floors except the bathrooms which have tile. Even so, I vacuumed like mad earlier this evening in the guest bathroom and in areas in close proximity to either bathroom, then dumped the contents outside. I hate littering and wouldn’t do this under almost any circumstance but we have some sheets of cardboard still up that were used to barricade a tight spot in the guest that I may throw out the window and leave until the trash truck comes. I will vacuum daily until the fleas are in the rearview mirror, and will move her somewhere safe to thoroughly clean the master bath when possible.
Is there anything else I should do? I have hella OCD tendencies surrounding bugs/contamination and I’m really concerned about my bedding, my clean clothes, and some collectable stuffed toys I have in my office room (adjacent to guest bath; I keep the door closed but that probably doesn’t help much). I want to do whatever I can to lessen the chances of spreading while we wait this ordeal out.
Thank you for any advice. This is my first time with both taking in a kitten this young and with directly taking a stray animal into my home instead of adopting from a rescue (meaning treating fleas, getting vax/spay appointments, etc all on my own). I love her a ton already but do feel a little overwhelmed in the moment 🥲

im just now recovering from years of almost constantly being depressed and suicidal everyday, i moved out of an abusive house, i got more confident, and now i fucked it all up and i feel lost and scared.
i first tried it from my moms boyfriend, then i ended up stealing one from where i work. after 2 days i felt horrible and guilty both for vaping and stealing from where i and my mom work, shes the supervisor so i gave her the vape and 20 dollars to cover it. but it was harder to stop than i thought, next day i had a panic attack i wanted to smoke so bad.
im so back and forth, i want to be "pure" again but i want to get the happiness from the vape again. and i feel so dirty and unlovable because i got addicted to nicotine/vape. i feel like human trash, i feel bad that im even having to recover and im gonna feel bad if i dive back into it.
i feel like i should just separate myself from my friends and give them gifts and whatever they want as an apology for being what i am. i dont even feel comfortable venting or talking about it to them because i feel so trashy about smoking, especially at a young age, i can feel the judgement, im scared nobody will like me anymore and im not strong enough to change it.

After doing a quick search on this sub I feel like it's fair to say that personal hygiene is not as uncommon as an issue as it should be, so I'm not trying to sound like a broken record but I really need advice about this. Me (22F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been together for about 2.5 years, and I didn't really start having issues with his personal hygiene until more recently for some reason. I didn't even notice for the first year, maybe? It's all the basic things like not brushing his teeth enough, not washing his hands, etc.
For example, we spend quite a bit of time together, and there are days where he'll leave for work in the morning without brushing his teeth and then I'll see him when he gets home from work until we go to bed, and he still won't brush his teeth before going to bed (even though I do every night. He just waits for me in bed while I'm in the bathroom doing my skincare and brushing my teeth). And this might happen for days in a row, I wouldn't be surprised if there have been times he's gone 5+ days without brushing his teeth but I don't know for sure because maybe he does it when I'm not there but I doubt it because usually he does it after I remind him like 800 times.
And I rarely see him wash his hands. Like hardly ever, almost never. This man works outside all day...his hands are DIRTY. His nails are caked with dirt and dust and yet he still doesn't wash his hands. Doesn't wash them after using the bathroom (#1 or #2, which in my opinion hands should be washed after both, I don't care if you don't wipe after going pee you're still touching your dick), like literally never unless I ask him to after being intimate or something like that.
So yeah. There are a few other things too I guess, like not washing his face at least once a day unless he showers (which he does most days but still), and leaving stinky laundry on the floor. It just feels like he doesn't care about taking care of himself at all and it gets really hard to be intimate with someone when all you can think about is when the last time they brushed their teeth or washed their hands was. He just has no routine at all when it comes to personal hygiene other than showering, but even then there are times when he might go a few days without showering as well.
Something else I might add is just that we both have ADHD, so I feel like that's not a fair excuse anymore. I still brush my teeth twice daily, have a morning/night routine, and probably wash my hands an excessive amount tbh, so I feel like asking him to just brush his teeth and wash his hands a little more often shouldn't be that big of a deal. I've even been doing research about how to help some of his avoidance towards these things but he just doesn't really keep up with any of my suggestions.
I just don't want to hurt his feelings, I'm afraid that if I bring it up he'll think I'm trying to shame him or that I don't want to be with him anymore when in reality this is a pretty easy fix, but if it doesn't get fixed I'm not sure what I'll do or how long I'll be able to put up with it. I feel like at this point and at this age he should have it figured out and I don't want to have to keep pestering him. I ask all the time if he wants to brush his teeth with me or if he wants to wash his face with me and whatnot and he just always chooses not to. I just want him to care about himself a little more. So what's the best way to have this conversation without it coming across too harsh?
TLDR; How can I talk to my (22F) boyfriend (23M) about his personal hygiene (brushing teeth/washing hands) without hurting his feelings or making him insecure about our relationship/my love for him?

TRACK 1: Hello
[Verse 1]
Hello, it's me
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time's supposed to heal ya, but I ain't done much healing
Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
[Pre-Chorus]
There's such a difference between us
And a million miles
[Chorus]
Hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call, you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least, I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore
[Verse 2]
Hello, how are you?
It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry
I hope that you're well
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?
[Pre-Chorus]
It's no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time
[Chorus]
So hello from the other side (Other side)
I must've called a thousand times (Thousand times)
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call, you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside (Outside)
At least, I can say that I've tried (I've tried)
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore
[Bridge]
(Highs, highs, highs, highs, lows, lows, lows, lows)
Ooh, anymore
(Highs, highs, highs, highs, lows, lows, lows, lows)
Ooh, anymore
(Highs, highs, highs, highs, lows, lows, lows, lows)
Ooh, anymore
(Highs, highs, highs, highs, lows, lows, lows, lows)
Anymore
[Chorus]
Hello from the other side (Other side)
I must've called a thousand times (Thousand times)
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call, you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside (Outside)
At least, I can say that I've tried (I've tried)
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore
TRACK 2: Send My Love (To Your New Lover)
[Intro]
Just the guitar?
Okay, cool
[Verse 1]
This was all you, none of it me
You put your hands on, on my body and told me
Mmm, told me you were ready
For the big one, for the big jump
I'd be your last love, everlasting, you and me
Mmm, that was what you told me
[Pre-Chorus]
I'm giving you up
I've forgiven it all
You set me free
[Chorus]
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
[Verse 2]
I was too strong, you were trembling
You couldn't handle the hot heat rising (Rising)
Mmm, baby, I'm still rising
I was running, you were walking
You couldn't keep up, you were falling down (Down)
Mmm, there's only one way down
[Pre-Chorus]
I'm giving you up
I've forgiven it all
You set me free, oh
[Chorus]
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
[Bridge]
If you're ready, if you're ready
If you're ready, I am ready
If you're ready, if you're ready
We both know we ain't kids no more
No, we ain't kids no more
[Pre-Chorus]
I'm giving you up
I've forgiven it all
You set me free
[Chorus]
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
[Outro]
If you're ready, if you're ready
(Send my love to your new lover)
If you're ready, are you ready?
(Treat her better)
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
If you're ready, if you're ready
(Send my love to your new lover)
If you're ready, are you ready?
(Treat her better)
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
TRACK 3: I Miss You
[Verse 1]
I want every single piece of you
I want your heaven and your oceans too
Treat me soft but touch me cruel
I wanna teach you things you never knew, baby
Bring the floor up to my knees
Let me fall into your gravity
Then kiss me back to life to see
Your body standing over me
[Pre-Chorus]
Baby, don't let the lights go down
Baby, don't let the lights go down
Baby, don't let the lights go down
Lights go down, lights go down
Lights go down, lights go down
Down, down, down
[Chorus]
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight, don't let go
Baby, give me light
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight, don't let go
Baby, give me light
[Verse 2]
I love the way your body moves
Towards me from across the room
Brushing past my every groove
No one has me like you do, baby
Bring your heart, I'll bring my soul
But be delicate with my ego
I wanna step into your great unknown
With you and me setting the tone
[Pre-Chorus]
Baby, don't let the lights go down
Baby, don't let the lights go down
Baby, don't let the lights go down
Lights go down, lights go down
Lights go down, lights go down
Down, down, down
[Chorus]
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight, don't let go
Baby, give me light
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight, don't let go
Baby, give me light
[Bridge]
We play so dirty in the dark
'Cause we are living worlds apart
It only makes it harder, baby
It only makes it harder, baby
Harder, baby, harder, baby
[Chorus]
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight, don't let go
Baby, give me light
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight, don't let go
Baby, give me light
[Outro]
I miss you, I miss you
I miss you, I miss you
I miss you, I miss you
I miss you, I miss you
TRACK 4: When We Were Young
[Verse 1]
Everybody loves the things you do
From the way you talk to the way you move
Everybody here is watching you
'Cause you feel like home, you're like a dream come true
But if by chance you're here alone
Can I have a moment before I go?
'Cause I've been by myself all night long
Hoping you're someone I used to know
[Pre-Chorus]
You look like a movie
You sound like a song
My God, this reminds me
Of when we were young
[Chorus]
Let me photograph you in this light
In case it is the last time that we might
Be exactly like we were before we realised
We were sad of getting old, it made us restless
It was just like a movie
It was just like a song
[Verse 2]
I was so scared to face my fears
Nobody told me that you'd be here
And I swear you'd moved overseas
That's what you said when you left me
[Pre-Chorus]
You still look like a movie
You still sound like a song
My God, this reminds me
Of when we were young
[Chorus]
Let me photograph you in this light
In case it is the last time that we might
Be exactly like we were before we realised
We were sad of getting old, it made us restless
It was just like a movie
It was just like a song
[Refrain]
(When we were young)
(When we were young)
(When we were young)
(When we were young)
[Bridge]
It's hard to admit that everything just takes me back
To when you were there, to when you were there
And a part of me keeps holding on just in case it hasn't gone
'Cause I still care, do you still care?
[Breakdown]
It was just like a movie
It was just like a song
My God, this reminds me
Of when we were young
[Refrain]
(When we were young)
(When we were young)
(When we were young)
(When we were young)
[Chorus]
Let me photograph you in this light
In case it is the last time that we might
Be exactly like we were before we realised
We were sad of getting old, it made us restless
Oh, I'm so mad I'm getting old, it makes me reckless
It was just like a movie
It was just like a song
When we were young
TRACK 5: Remedy
[Verse 1]
I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be
So desperate to find a way out of my world and finally breathe
Right before my eyes I saw my heart, it came to life
This ain't easy, it's not meant to be, every story has its scars
[Chorus]
But when the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see that I will be your remedy
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see that I will be
I will be your remedy
[Verse 2]
No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you
Come whatever, I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through
Your love, it is my truth and I will always love you
Love you, oh
[Chorus]
When the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see that I will be your remedy
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see that I will be
I will be your remedy
Ohhh, ohhh
When the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see that I will be, I will be
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see that I will be, I will be
I will be your remedy, mmm, mm-hmm
TRACK 6: Water Under The Bridge
[Verse 1]
If you're not the one for me
Then how come I can bring you to your knees?
If you're not the one for me
Why do I hate the idea of being free?
And if I'm not the one for you
You've gotta stop holding me the way you do
Oh honey, if I’m not the one for you
Why have we been through what we have been through?
[Pre-Chorus]
It's so cold out here in your wilderness
I want you to be my keeper
But not if you are so reckless
[Chorus]
If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me
Our love ain't water under the bridge
If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me
Our love ain't water under the bridge
Say that our love ain't water under the bridge
[Verse 2]
What are you waiting for?
You never seem to make it through the door
And who are you hiding from?
It ain't no life to live like you're on the run
Have I ever asked for much?
The only thing that I want is your love
[Chorus]
If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me
Our love ain't water under the bridge
If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me
Our love ain't water under the bridge
Say that our love ain't water under the bridge
[Pre-Chorus]
It's so cold in your wilderness
I want you to be my keeper
But not if you are so reckless
[Chorus]
If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me
Our love ain't water under the bridge
If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me
Our love ain't water under the bridge
[Outro]
Say it ain't so, say it ain't so
Say it ain't so, say it ain't so
Say that our love ain't water under the bridge (Say it ain't so, say it ain't so)
Say it ain't so, say it ain't so
Say it ain't so, say it ain't so
Say it ain't so, say it ain't so
Say that our love ain't water under the bridge (Say it ain't so, say it ain't so)
Say it ain't so, say it ain't so
Say that our love ain't water under the bridge
TRACK 7: River Lea
[Verse 1]
Everybody tells me it's 'bout time that I moved on
That I need to learn to lighten up and learn how to be young
But my heart is a valley, it's so shallow and manmade
I'm scared to death if I let you in that you'll see I'm just a fake
Sometimes I feel lonely in the arms of your touch
But I know that's just me 'cause nothing ever is enough
When I was a child I grew up by the River Lea
There was something in the water, now that something's in me
[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, I can't go back, but the reeds are growing out of my fingertips
I can't go back to the river
[Chorus]
But, it's in my roots, in my veins
In my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain
Oh, it's in my roots, in my veins
In my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain
So, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea
Yeah, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea
[Verse 2]
I should probably tell you now before it's way too late
That I never meant to hurt you or lie straight to your face
Consider this my apology, I know it's years in advance
But, I would rather say it now in case I never get the chance
[Pre-Chorus]
No, I can't go back, but the reeds are growing out of my fingertips
I can't go back to the river
[Chorus]
But, it's in my roots, in my veins
In my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain
Oh, it's in my roots, in my veins
In my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain
So, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea
Yeah, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea
So, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea
Yeah, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea
[Outro]
River Lea, River Lea
River Lea
The River Lea-ea-ea
The River Lea-ea-ea
The River Lea-ea-ea
TRACK 8: Love in the Dark
[Verse 1]
Take your eyes off of me so I can leave
I'm far too ashamed to do it with you watching me
This is never ending, we have been here before
But I can't stay this time 'cause I don't love you anymore
[Pre-Chorus]
Please stay where you are, don't come any closer
Don't try to change my mind, I'm being cruel to be kind
[Chorus]
I can't love you in the dark
It feels like we're oceans apart
There is so much space between us
Baby, we're already defeated
Ah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, everything changed me
[Verse 2]
You have given me something that I can't live without
You mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt
But I don't want to carry on like everything is fine
The longer we ignore it all, the more that we will fight
[Pre-Chorus]
Please don't fall apart, I can't face your breaking heart
I'm trying to be brave, stop asking me to stay
[Chorus]
I can't love you in the dark
It feels like we're oceans apart
There is so much space between us
Baby, we're already defeated
Ah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, everything changed me
[Bridge]
We're not the only ones
I don't regret a thing
Every word I've said
You know I'll always mean
It is the world to me
That you are in my life
But I want to live and not just survive
[Instrumental Interlude]
[Chorus]
That's why I can't love you in the dark
It feels like we're oceans apart
There is so much space between us
Baby, we're already defeated
'Cause ah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, everything changed me
And I-I-I-I-I don't think you can save me
TRACK 9: Million Years Ago
[Verse 1]
I only wanted to have fun
Learning to fly, learning to run
I let my heart decide the way
When I was young
Deep down, I must have always known
That this would be inevitable
To earn my stripes, I'd have to pay
And bare my soul
[Chorus]
I know I'm not the only one
Who regrets the things they've done
Sometimes, I just feel it's only me
Who can't stand the reflection that they see
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky, not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry
I miss the air, I miss my friends
I miss my mother, I miss it when
Life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago
[Verse 2]
When I walk around all of the streets
Where I grew up and found my feet
They can't look me in the eye
It's like they're scared of me
I try to think of things to say
Like a joke or a memory
But they don't recognize me now
In the light of day
[Chorus]
I know I'm not the only one
Who regrets the things they've done
Sometimes, I just feel it's only me
Who never became who they thought they'd be
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky, not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry
I miss the air, I miss my friends
I miss my mother, I miss it when
Life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago
[Outro]
A million years ago
TRACK 10: All I Ask
[Verse 1]
I will leave my heart at the door
I won't say a word
They've all been said before, you know
So why don't we just play pretend
Like we're not scared of what is coming next
Or scared of having nothing left?
[Pre-Chorus]
Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is
[Chorus]
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do
What lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?
[Verse 2]
I don't need your honesty
It's already in your eyes
And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me
No one knows me like you do
And since you're the only one that mattered
Tell me, who do I run to?
[Pre-Chorus]
Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is
[Chorus]
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do
What lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?
[Bridge]
Let this be our lesson in love
Let this be the way we remember us
I don't want to be cruel or vicious
And I ain't asking for forgiveness
All I ask is
[Chorus]
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do
What lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?
TRACK 11: Sweetest Devotion
[Intro]
[Verse 1]
With your loving, there ain't nothing that I can't adore
The way I'm running with you, honey
Means we can break every law
I find it funny that you're the only one I never looked for
There is something in your loving that tears down my walls
[Pre-Chorus]
I wasn't ready then, I'm ready now
I'm heading straight for you
You will only be eternally
The one that I belong to
[Chorus]
The sweetest devotion
Hit me like an explosion
All of my life, I've been frozen
The sweetest devotion I know
[Verse 2]
I'll forever be whatever you want me to be
I'll go under and all over for your clarity
When you wonder if I'm gonna lose my way home
Just remember, that come whatever, I'll be yours all along
[Pre-Chorus]
I wasn't ready then, I'm ready now
I'm heading straight for you
You will only be eternally
The one that I belong to
[Chorus]
The sweetest devotion
Hit me like an explosion
All of my life, I've been frozen
The sweetest devotion I know
[Bridge]
I've been looking for you, baby
In every face that I've ever known
And there is something 'bout the way you love me
That finally feels like home
You're my light, you're my darkness
You're the right kind of madness
You're my hope, you're my despair
You're my scope of everything, everywhere
[Chorus]
The sweetest devotion
Hit me like an explosion
All of my life, I've been frozen
The sweetest devotion I know
[Outro]
Sweetest, it's the sweetest
Sweetest, it's the sweetest
Sweetest, it's the sweetest
Sweetest, it's the sweetest devotion
TRACK 12: Can't Let Go
[Verse 1]
When did it go wrong? I will never know
I have loved you all my life
How did it slow down? I go round and around
Thinking about it all the time
​
[Pre-Chorus]
I gave you heaven on a platter, baby
I gave you everything you never gave me
I never lied and I never faked it
Only wanted for you to save me
This love, it ain't over yet
There's too much that I haven't said
[Chorus]
Did you find the note that I wrote?
I hid it in the seam of your coat
It was hard to write with a lump in my throat
Do you even know that I can't let go?
[Verse 2]
Why were you so cold? Let the truth be told
Tell me, was it all for the thrill?
What was I thinking? I gave you everything
But you still went for the kill
[Pre-Chorus]
I gave you heaven on a platter, baby
I gave you everything you never gave me
I never lied and I never faked it
Only wanted for you to save me
[Chorus]
Did you find the note that I wrote?
I hid it in the seam of your coat
It was hard to write with a lump in my throat
Do you even know that I can't let go?
[Bridge]
Ooh, sometimes I feel like I'm in the dark
Ooh, I thought I'd die in your arms
[Chorus]
Did you find the note that I wrote?
I hid it in the seam of your coat
It was hard to write, I had a lump in my throat
Do you even know that I can't let go?
[Outro]
Hope you know, I won't let go
TRACK 13: Lay Me Down
[Verse 1]
I would never lie to you unless you tell me to
Every part of me, all my words to hold
And hold against me, why won't you let it be?
[Pre-Chorus]
Don't you ever say my love, "open up your heart"
No I'm not gonna do it standing up
The words don't come out right when you're right in front of me
Help me baby, won't you turn off the lights
[Chorus]
Lay me down ('til the morning)
Lay me down (through the night)
Lay me down (I can fall in)
Lay me down (Won’t you)
Lay me down (I can baby)
Lay me down (Someone believe me)
[Verse 2]
I would never break the rules unless you tell me to
You can read my mind, be it truth or lies
Lie down beside me, why won't you let it be?
[Pre-Chorus]
Don't you ever say my love opened up your heart
No I'm not gonna do it standing up
The words don't come out right when you're right in front of me
Help me baby, won't you turn off the lights
[Chorus]
Lay me down ('til the morning)
Lay me down (through the night)
Lay me down (I can fall in)
Lay me down (Won't you)
Lay me down (I can baby)
Lay me down (Someone believe me)
[Bridge]
Lay down with me
Lay down with me
Lay down with me
Lay down with me
[Pre-Chorus]
Words don't come out right when you're right in front of me
Help me baby, won't you turn off the lights
[Chorus]
Lay me down ('til the morning)
Lay me down (through the night)
Lay me down (I can fall in)
Lay me down (Won't you)
Lay me down (I can baby)
Lay me down (Someone believe me)
TRACK 14: Why Do You Love Me
[Intro]
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me?
[Verse 1]
Why do you love me?
There must be something in the water
'Cause, baby, I'm in deeper than I knew
How do you keep me coming back for more
After all we've been through?
[Pre-Chorus]
I can't decide if I should run and hide
[Chorus]
It's above and beyond me, it's out of my hands
Your love drives me crazy, it's hard to understand
Just why I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
[Verse 2]
Who knows why I love you
It could be something in the air I breathe
Whatever it is, I depend on it
And where does the time go?
I spend every single moment daydreaming of you
[Pre-Chorus]
I can't describe how I feel, it feels right
[Chorus]
It's above and beyond me, it's out of my hands
Your love drives me crazy, it's hard to understand
Just why I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
[Bridge]
You were a shot in the dark that blew me away
And you left your mark, and it never will fade
You've ignited a spark, let the fires away
Are you ready, ready?
You have a place in my heart that will always be yours
You are the peak and art of my universe
Every piece and part, you were the first
I am ready, ready
[Chorus]
It's above and beyond me, it's out of my hands
Your love drives me crazy, it's hard to understand
Just why I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you
[Chorus]
It's above and beyond me, it's out of my hands
Your love drives me crazy, it's hard to understand
Just why I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
[Outro]
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?

I (37F) bought a 2 bedroom condo and the cost of living went up, so I rented the spare room to a young kid (22M) because i have outrageous medical expenses. He was raised in the foster system, and clearly was not taught how to care for himself and his home.
I need advice on how to best to address some things. Namely, hygiene. He showers at best once a week but usually it's once every 2 weeks or more. He surprisingly doesn't have BO, but he does smell dirty, greasy, and of stale alcohol. I have no idea how to bring this up, I don't know if there is a neurodivergent/executive dysfunction or trauma component to his lack of self care. But he leaves literal ass prints on the toilet seat and doesn't seem to notice.
Because he doesn't shower much and does laundry even less frequently, my washing machine and dryer are really gross after he uses them and I had to buy washing machine cleaner to run afterwards. I don't know if he's ever washed his bedding. I have no idea how to bring this up.
There are some other issues surrounding alcoholism and my being mislead about that, and cleaning and maintenance which I feel comfortable asserting myself about. He's a nice kid, and I don't really want to kick him out if I don't have to, but is there any way to politely bring these issues up? Does anyone have any resources for adulting that include information on personal hygiene? He could also use help budgeting money and with nutrition but honestly that's the least of my concerns right now.

y'all prolly don't care but I did it anyway so ¯(ツ)¯
Rank Song
1 Michael Jackson - Ghosts
2 afi - Miseria Cantare - The Beginning
3 a-ha - Take On Me
4 Journey - Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)
5 Pearl Jam - Future Days
6 Evanescence - Bring Me To Life
7 Alter Bridge - The Other Side
8 Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody
9 Killswitch Engaged - This Fire
10 Motorhead - the game
11 Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
12 Michael Jackson - Earth Song
13 Michael Jackson - Remember the Time
14 Saliva - I Walk Alone
15 Linkin’ Park - Crawling
16 Michael Jackson - Stranger In Moscow
17 Michael Jackson - Man In The Mirror
18 Michael Jackson - Bad
19 Imagine Dragons & JID - Enemy
20 Michael Jackson - Blood On The Dance Floor
21 BANKS - The Devil
22 Eminem - Godzilla ft. Juice WRLD
23 Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
24 Billie Eilish, Khalid - lovely
25 Luniz - I Got 5 On It
26 Dr. Dre - ETA (with Snoop Dogg, Busta Rhymes & Anderson .Paak)
27 Michael Jackson - They Don’t Care About Us
28 grandson & Jessie Reyez - Rain
29 The Cranberries - Zombie
30 Linkin Park - BURN IT DOWN
31 Bruno Mars, Anderson .Paak, Silk Sonic - Smokin Out The Window
32 Earth, Wind & Fire - September
33 Doja Cat - Woman
34 Linkin Park - Numb
35 Shakespears Sister - Stay
36 Michael Jackson - The Way You Make Me Feel
37 Britney Spears - Toxic
38 Michael Jackson - Billie Jean
39 Michael Jackson - Beat It
40 Michael Jackson - Thriller
41 Michael Jackson - Smooth Criminal
42 Bray Wyatt – Shatter
43 Doja Cat - Vegas
44 Linkin Park - In The End
45 Dr. Dre - The Scenic Route (with Rick Ross & Anderson .Paak)
46 Imagine Dragons - Natural
47 Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson - Scream
48 Imagine Dragons - Cutthroat
49 Coolio - Gangsta's Paradise (feat. L.V.)
50 Nirvana - Something In The Way
51 Limp Bizkit - Rollin'
52 Katy Perry - California Gurls ft. Snoop Dogg
53 Doja Cat ft. SZA - Kiss Me More
54 Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
55 Post Malone, Swae Lee - Sunflower )
56 Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart
57 Living Colour - Cult Of Personality (Official Video)
58 Queen - Killer Queen
59 Queen - Another One Bites the Dust
60 BANKS - Skinnydipped
61 Doja Cat - Say So
62 Michael Jackson - In the Closet
63 Rev Theory - Voices
64 Disney - We Don't Talk About Bruno
65 Michael Jackson - Rock With You
66 Britney Spears - Circus
67 Madison Beer - I Have Never Felt More Alive
68 Dua Lipa - Physical
69 Eminem - River ft. Ed Sheeran
70 Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit
71 Imagine Dragons - Bones
72 Britney Spears - Oops!...I Did It Again
73 Lil Nas X - MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name)
74 Doja Cat - Get Into It (Yuh)
75 Dua Lipa - New Rules
76 Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra)
77 Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
78 Michael Jackson - Jam
79 Eminem - Lose Yourself
80 Queen - I Want to Break Free
81 Childish Gambino - This Is America
82 Joji - Glimpse of Us
83 Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong
84 Hamilton - The Room Where It Happens
85 Snoop Dogg - Gin And Juice
86 Michael Jackson - Heal The World
87 Louis Armstrong - What A Wonderful World
88 NF - The Search
89 Hamilton - Satisfied
90 Ren - Money Game
91 Queen - We Are The Champions nn
92 Tech N9ne - Face Off (feat. Joey Cool, King Iso & Dwayne Johnson)
93 Jessica Darrow - Surface Pressure
94 Michael Jackson - Money
95 Motionless In White - Demons in Your Dreams
96 Joji - SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK
97 BANKS - Gimme (Official Video)
98 Dua Lipa - Break My Heart (Official Video)
99 Idina Menzel, AURORA - Into the Unknown (From Frozen 2)
100 Warriors (ft. Imagine Dragons) Worlds 2014 - League of Legends
101 Dr. Dre - The Next Episode (Official Music Video) ft. Snoop Dogg, Kurupt, Nate Dogg
102 Eminem - Venom
103 Céline Dion - Ashes (from Deadpool 2 Motion Picture Soundtrack)
104 I Want You Back - The Jackson 5
105 Imagine Dragons - Sharks (Official Music Video)
106 Joan Jett & The Blackhearts Bad Reputation - Official Music Video (1983)
107 Guns N' Roses - Welcome To The Jungle
108 FOZZY - Judas (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
109 Waterproof Blonde - Just Close Your Eyes
110 Sam B - Who do you Voodoo, Bitch
111 Skillet - Legendary
112 Billie Eilish - bury a friend
113 Ren - Money Game part 2
114 Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
115 Kevin Sherwood - Where Are We Going?
116 twenty one pilots - Heathens
117 Eminem - Without Me
118 Heavy - Linkin Park (feat. Kiiara)
119 Lady Gaga - Paparazzi
120 As The World Caves In - Sarah Cothran
121 Dr. Dre - Still D.R.E. ft. Snoop Dogg
122 Obie Trice ft. Eminem & Dr Dre - Shit hits the fan
123 Eminem - Big Weenie
124 Michael Jackson - Black Or White
125 SZA - Kill Bill Feat. Doja Cat
126 Clean Bandit - Symphony (feat. Zara Larsson)
127 Dua Lipa - Levitating Featuring DaBaby
128 Imagine Dragons - Believer
129 Mario Judah - Die Very Rough
130 Dua Lipa - IDGAF
131 Sabrina Carpenter - Thumbs
132 Ed Sheeran - Bad Habits
133 Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
134 Ariana Grande - thank u, next
135 D'LOURDES - How Did You Get So Good?
136 Queen - We Will Rock You
137 Imagine Dragons - Thunder
138 Eminem - White America
139 Olivia Rodrigo - good 4 u
140 Lorde - Royals
141 Billie Eilish - bad guy
142 Wiz Khalifa - See You Again ft. Charlie Puth
143 Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah
144 Michael Jackson - Who Is It
145 Hamilton - We Know
146 Michael Jackson - Speed Demon
147 BAD BUNNY - CHAMBEA
148 K/DA - MORE ft. Madison Beer, (G)I-DLE, Lexie Liu, Jaira Burns, Seraphine
149 Shaman’s Harvest - Broken Dreams
150 Michael Jackson - I Just Can't Stop Loving You
151 Skillet - Hero
152 Michael Jackson - Leave Me Alone
153 Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons w/ Logic & Ty Dolla $ign ft X Ambassadors - Sucker for Pain
154 Ava Max - Sweet but Psycho
155 RISE (ft. The Glitch Mob, Mako, and The Word Alive)
156 Downstait - Kingdom
157 Hamilton - Say No To This
158 Eminem - Survival
159 Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way
160 Alter Bridge - Metalingus
161 Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time
162 Michael Jackson - Dirty Diana
163 Michael Jackson - P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)
164 Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Main Theme - Lifelight
165 PinkPantheress, Ice Spice - Boy’s a liar Pt. 2
166 Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive
167 Motorhead - line in the sand (Evolution)
168 K/DA - POP/STARS (ft. Madison Beer, (G)I-DLE, Jaira Burns)
169 Dua Lipa - Don't Start Now
170 Sam Smith, Kim Petras - Unholy
171 Imagine Dragons - Bad Liar
172 Ed Sheeran - Beautiful People (feat. Khalid)
173 Imagine Dragons - Birds
174 BANKS - Deadend
175 Mark Crozer and The Rels - Broken Out In Love
176 NWA - Gangsta Gangsta
177 Bon Jovi - Livin' On A Prayer
178 Toto - Africa
179 Michael Jackson - Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
180 Ariana Grande - 7 rings
181 Eric Reprid - Vam
182 Imagine Dragons - Demons
183 Halsey - Without Me
184 Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa - One Kiss
185 Mark Ronson - Uptown Funk ft. Bruno Mars
186 Jim Johnston - Domination
187 K/DA - DRUM GO DUM ft. Aluna, Wolftyla, Bekuh BOOM
188 Lil Candypaint & Bhad Bhabie - 22 (Remix)
189 Dr. Dre - Gospel (with Eminem)
190 Lady Gaga - Applause
191 Shawn Mendes, Camila Cabello - Señorita
192 Billie Eilish - when the party's over
193 Phoenix (ft. Cailin Russo and Chrissy Costanza)
194 K/DA - I’LL SHOW YOU ft. TWICE, Bekuh BOOM, Annika Wells
195 Idina Menzel, Evan Rachel Wood - Show Yourself
196 Ash Costello - Brutality
197 The Gentle Men - Obsession
198 Imagine Dragons - Whatever It Takes
199 Demi Lovato - Sorry Not Sorry
200 Ed Sheeran - Perfect
201 BANKS - Beggin For Thread
202 2WEI and Edda Hayes - Warriors
203 Queen - Don't Stop Me Now
204 Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg - Nuthin' But A G Thang
205 Fall Out Boy - Centuries
206 The Greatest Showman Cast - The Greatest Show
207 Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande - Rain On Me
208 Valerie Broussard - Awaken
209 Eminem - Rap God
210 The Weeknd - Blinding Lights
211 PVRIS - Burn It All Down
212 Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up) (Part 1)
213 Michael Jackson - Will You Be There
214 K/DA - THE BADDEST ft. (G)I-DLE, Bea Miller, Wolftyla
215 twenty one pilots - Stressed Out
216 Tears For Fears - Everybody Wants To Rule The World
217 K/DA - VILLAIN ft. Madison Beer and Kim Petras
218 Loren Allred - Never Enough
219 Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe
220 One Direction - Drag Me Down
221 Endeverafter - No More Words
222 Eminem - Fall
223 Zendaya, Zac Efron - Rewrite The Stars
224 Lil Nas X - Old Town Road ft. Billy Ray Cyrus
225 Disney - Remember Me
226 Bone Thugs N Harmony - 1st of tha Month
227 Lukas Graham - 7 Years
228 Whitney Houston - I Wanna Dance With Somebody
229 Ed Sheeran - Shape of You
230 Camila Cabello - Havana ft. Young Thug
231 Selena Gomez, Marshmello - Wolves
232 ZAYN - Dusk Till Dawn ft. Sia
233 The Greatest Showman Cast - This Is Me
234 Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved
235 Lil Nas X - STAR WALKIN'
236 Dove Cameron - If Only
237 U.S.A. For Africa - We Are the World
238 Dr. Dre - Fallin Up (with Thurz & Cocoa Sarai)
239 Tyler, the Creator - SORRY NOT SORRY
240 Nicki Taylor - Worlds Collide
241 Taylor Swift - Blank Space
242 Maroon 5 - Girls Like You ft. Cardi B
243 The Gentle Men - 2019 Guy
244 The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
245 Eminem ft. Rihanna - The Monster
246 Charlie Puth - Attention
247 Bruno Mars - Grenade
248 Queen - Radio Ga Ga (Official Video)
249 Julia Michaels - What A Time ft. Niall Horan
250 The Greatest Showman Cast - A Million Dreams
251 Rihanna - Umbrella ft. JAY-Z
252 Lady Gaga - Poker Face
253 Clean Bandit - Rockabye feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie
254 Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna
255 Sam Smith - I'm Not The Only One
256 The Chainsmokers - Closer ft. Halsey
257 Eminem - Not Afraid
258 BAD BUNNY - BOOKER T
259 Ellie Goulding - Love Me Like You Do
260 Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper - Shallow
261 David Guetta - Titanium ft. Sia
262 E-40 - Captain Save A Hoe ft. The Click, D-Shot, B-Legit, Suga T
263 Sofia Carson - Love Is The Name
264 Christina Perri - A Thousand Years
265 Maroon 5 - Moves Like Jagger ft. Christina Aguilera
266 Against The Current - Legends Never Die
267 Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers
268 Abba - Dancing Queen
269 Eminem - My Name Is
270 Shawn Mendes - Stitches
271 Malia J - Smells Like Teen Spirit
272 One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful
273 ZAYN, Taylor Swift - I Don’t Wanna Live Forever
274 Lil Nas X - Panini
275 Fergie - Glamorous ft. Ludacris
276 Ke$ha - TiK ToK
277 Sabrina Carpenter - Can't Blame a Girl for Trying
278 Shawn Mendes - Treat You Better
279 Shawn Mendes - There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back
280 Marshmello & Anne-Marie - FRIENDS
281 Pitbull - Timber ft. Ke$ha
282 CORPSE - E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE! ft. Savage Ga$p
283 Hudson Mohawke - Cbat

The stray my s/o rescued from downtown has to go. Not only can I not deal with loud meows from 11:30pm- 4am. I’ve also stepped in his poop before because he shits outside his litter. Somehow he’ll shut the door to get in the litter room and shits on the floor. He scratch me while trying to do laundry. Still wearing bandages on my thumb. He doesn’t like being pet but will rub his stank butt all over you. After attacking me he went in time out to the litter room, once let out he pissed on my living room carpet. I’m trying to conceive and I don’t want this dirty untamed cat in my home. Mind you I have a senior cat and she behaves just fine. No animal even if it wasn’t a cat is worth this. I just needed to vent.

The adult titles are Bijou and The Ribald Tales of Canterbury.

This is the 50th application and 10th interview I've had since leaving my no-good job, anything over 15$ per hour simply is not at my grasp where I live in Cleveland- I gotta go out on my own. I really need help figuring out how I can make it out here- working a 9-5 has all but killed me. Thank you all in advance even for just reading.
I always wanted to start a business and now, I have the perfect reason. I figured this is the time, I graduated with an Entrepreneurship degree and I have experience, I figured I'd leave some of my talents and my situation and hear the advice some people have to say!
My Finances
I live rent free and have practically no expenseses, I have 8,000 in savings, 5,000 of which can be liquidated into cash easily in the next 2 weeks. No blaring personal debts including CC. So I'd say I have 5,000 of a startup budget.
My Personal Profile
I have all the time in the world, anything to make this work, I am physically strong so I am not afraid of lifting, labor, my education is in the business realm but otherwise competent in general studies, I worked in food service, landscaping, building materials, and retail. I have experience with many outdoor projects but I am not a skilled laborer like a carpenter or mason, etc.
Other than that I live in a middle class town in NE Ohio, I am young and my contacts are limited, but I am willing to get my hands dirty doing the labor myself, I did it for other men that hated me, I would gladly do it for myself.
I had one idea, a cleaning business, mainly due to the fact there is little liability, low startup costs, and all you need is raw hard work and a proper price point, it seems easy to start and a few consistent contacts/clients and I could be set up making a good income in a few measly months!
That's what came to my mind this morning, but before I commit, I wanted to get other ideas, what do you guys think?

Every time i watch mikey i turn into an evangelist (im not religious 🤣) I always compare him to the embodiment of sin; greed and gluttony. Then i go on a rant 😭😭
Hes just so messy w/o thinking of the workers (have yall seen where he had literal CHICKEN BONE all over the table), he eats wayyyy more than his fair share and uses his bare hands to handle food w others or his uses his dirty utensils, he mispronounces words either on purpose or not, he perfers young girls, and lately only been going to expensive buffets either to plz his (obviously money hungry/high maintenance) gf or to garner the most views on vids. Hes just so...gluttonous GREEDY!!!!!!😭
Ive watched him for YEARS and its a shame who he's become (even when he invited young girls to eat w him which was so weird). Although i do watch his vids u still you cant help but noticed how different he is whether him showing more of his personality or not. Anyway some of yall have valid reasons to dislike him and some of yall are just....racists.....unfortunately.

Okay, so I can't be the only one who was disappointed that Shulk and Rex don't come with any quests when you unlock them from challenge mode. Let alone the fact that you can't inherit their classes. I understand it wouldn't make sense in the canon. But Land of Challenge always did non-canon fanservice of characters from other games interacting with each other. So I think it's dumb they couldn't do it for Shulk and Rex here. So I've come up with some quests for them to feel more like substantial rewards for beating both games.
Shulk & Rex Hero quest:
Basically, the cutscenes you'll get will be similar to Elma's in XC2. Where Nopon Archsage is the one responsible for bringing Shulk and Rex back into Aionios. They're still acting as avatars of Origin but the mysterious power of the Archsage has allowed it so that both Shulk and Rex can still walk around Aionios while still being in Origin. Kind of like how the Archsage in XC2 was able to bring Elma to Alrest and alter the time dilation so that she isn't gone for too long on Mira.
​
Shulk's Ascension Quest:
The main idea for Shulk's quest will be dealing with the sudden return of Fog Rifts and Fog Beasts in Aionios. The group is traveling when they suddenly encounter a Fog Beast. Shulk advises they inform Melia about the matter and how to deal with the return of the Fog Rifts. We get a nice touching reunion with Shulk and Melia as they catch up on things. And we learn that many Fog Rifts have started appearing all over Aionios recently after being gone for eons. Shulk and Melia then explain to the Ouroboros gang what the Fog Rifts and Fog Beasts are and how they relate to the Black Fog. And that in the past they once dealt with them before Aionios was created. So now the main party has learned the true nature of the Black Fog and volunteers to assist in destroying the Fog rifts and beasts. So you travel to various spots on Aionios where there is a lot of Black Fog as that's where the Rifts have formed.
During the mission Shulk starts to ponder why the Fog Rifts are showing up again all of a sudden. And suspects that someone might be creating these rifts to form. He also talks about Origin's construction to the party after some battles against Fog Beasts. And how he was one of the leading designers of it and intricate details on how it works that Nia didn't tell us. We then find that the Fog Rifts that have now been reforming have been caused by the actual Consul A experimenting with the Black Fog. Finding a way to make sure that the fog doesn't destroy Aionios to permanently preserve the Endless Now for Z. But accidents with the experiments had caused Fog Rifts to form again once more.
The party catches him in another experiment with the Black Fog. And they managed to stop him. But not before another accident causes another Fog Rift to form. However instead what's summoned isn't a Fog Beast but a Fog Zanza. Shulk wonders how this is even possible. And starts to piece together that the Fog Beasts are not only a result of the worlds fusing together but also they're the restless spirits of those that died on Bionis and Alrest. Explaining why the Fog King in Future Connected looked like Inferno Guldo from XC2. Applying more of the Gnosis lore from Xenosaga. Fog Zanza proves to be far more powerful than any Fog Beast before. As Fog Zanza is acting Zanza's desire to destroy the world and remake it anew.
The quest ends with the party destroying Fog Zanza and Noah promising Shulk that they will stop Moebius and save their worlds before the Black Fog destroys Aionios.
​
Rex's Ascension Quest:
At camp, Rex is looking at his family photo with wives and kids. Wishing they could all be together again. Mio asks what the photo is which startles Rex. After he composes himself he explains to Mio that it's a photo of him and his family. Even giving it to her to look at. He then talks about how after Z hijacked Origin a lot of soldiers that make up Keves and Agnus were all children 1-20 from the two worlds. And thus separated from their parents who are all trapped in Origin. He was one of the lucky few that didn't get put into Origin and talks about how he would love to see his kids again as they were reborn to be a part of the Agnian army. He mentions how he already found two of them and wants to find out where his 3rd kid is. His son Milton. The one he had with Mythra. He doesn't mention to Mio that she's his daughter as he doesn't know the best way to tell her. Mio decides that they should help Rex find his son. And will travel to all the Agnian colonies they know to find them.
So the party goes around to a few Agnian colonies only to come up short. They then decide to go to Agnus Castle and see if there are any documents on file on Milton on where he was stationed or if he had already reached homecoming. We get a very touching reunion with Rex and Nia. Where Nia accidentally acts like her normal self when the Ouroboros party shows up unannounced. Only to turn around and be greeted by Rex. Tears swell up in her eyes and she dashes towards her husband faster than Kite did with Juniper. Tackling Rex to the ground and surprising everyone around them. After that funny moment. She gladly tells them where to find the records of all the soldiers. She then asks Rex to talk to her alone while the party goes looking through the documents.
Both husband and wife are so glad to see each other again after over a thousand years. The two look from afar at Mio and ask if either one of them has told her about them being their daughter. They say neither one haven't and is unsure what the best course of action would be. Whether to tell them or not. As Rex mentions he and Shulk never mentioned their familial relationship with Glimmer and Nikol.
The party comes back and they sadly can't find any information on Milton. Which deeply saddens Rex but he was ready to accept they might have already reached homecoming a long time ago. Taion suggests that there is one other place they haven't tried. That is the lost colony that Nimue is from. As no documents of that colony exist due to the hidden nature of the colony.
They all rush to the lost colony and sure enough they learn that Milton does indeed live there. However, he currently isn't in the colony. They find out from Stella that Milton has a bad habit of searching for treasure. And has often constantly dug holes around the colony looking for any. She suspects that because he's already searched every inch of the colony for treasure he likely went outside looking for more.
So the party has to search around Cadensia Region to find him as he hadn't gotten far. And we managed to save him from a giant sea monster. There we see that Milton looks very much like Rex from Xenoblade 2 only now with blonde hair. This helps save Monolithsoft from having to make a completely new model. So it'll just be young Rex's head on an Agnian soldier's body with blonde hair. I fully give credit to XenDrawsStuff as Mythra's kid looking like a blonde Rex was their idea. But I also thought it was a nice cost-saving measure.
After they save Milton Rex chews him out for the dangerous stunt he did much like how he did with Glimmer in FR. Once they return to the colony Rex apologizes to Milton for snapping at him before and the two bond over their love of digging up treasure. Rex mentioning how he used to be a salvager. The party looks on at the two from afar and Eunie comments how Milton looks pretty similar to Rex. Taion believes that could be a natural thing that can happen between parent and child from what they learned in the City.
Mio ponders on it too, as she takes Rex's photo out of her pocket. As she looks at it more and thinks back to how Nia interacted with Rex, she realizes that that's her in the photo. And once she notices the baby she's carrying as well as how similar she looks to Nia, something she hadn't really thought of before, she puts the pieces together that she's Rex's and Nia's daughter. And while she doesn't completely understand it or is fully confident about it, she decides to keep it to herself. As she feels it's best that Rex come forward with this once he feels comfortable.
And done. Please give me your thoughts and critiques on these quest ideas.

So, it's basically this, a criminal or bully or disadaptative and chaotic family, alcoholic, agressive and so on, have kids, they inherit the agressiveness and are non raised properly, (no love either, growing only on violence), he or she grows to become the same shit as their parents thinking is normal or just not realizing it (like explosive behaviour and rage), probably the family don't believe in therapy mostly because they know how disfunctional they are, butas long as they survive, who cares? (That is why you see them with no friends at all, just focused on working, drinking for depression and so on) a therapist would disband the family even, and take the offspring to a foster care, to at least make them deal with the mental health problems that has developed since the womb, remember a lot of cortisol+ alcohol and maybe even antidepressants. And when he or she becomes and adult (probably with already a criminal history) starts to realize that something is wrong (only when its too late already onfurtunately), and the process starts, just to end up in rehab, special needs jobs and so on, probably tdah, squizophrenia, sociopathy and stuff, while is hated by the rest of the people he/she had known, oh and with some untreatable disease that because and the low income (you will find out that narcicistic families tend to expand in poverty), end up dying really young. And we tend to end up alone, best cases low income neighborhood and a "stable" job, toher times criminality, and worst case scenarios, homelessness or suicide. So what is the story from here? They just had kids for social pressure or by accident ( even multiple times) because a normal family plans to be financially stable to start having kids, or at least in adulthood they are already. So bullies tend to empathize with bullies, criminals to criminals and so on. That is why we are sent to AAA or self support group, oh yes. So, we do not choose to be this way, some therapists usually study for helping educated people, that is why cluster b personality is often treated only in jail, that is the stupid sistem of how its made. No wonder why there is a high difference between neighborhoods right? Because even for the ritch they can spoil a kid, and end up messing him/her up. (Usually is when they became ritch by fraud or being a jerk). And here we are...hated people, with bad attitude, low self control no matter the IQ, because discipline is more important at the long run. And we end up aging faster, body and brain. Loneliness contributes too. So how to stop huh?
For those who are teenagers reading this... Please practice yoga since now and forget the beer, at least for now, it will improve a lot your life, go to any kind of specialty formation to boost up income (then collegue if you want). And boredom is not bad at all. At least as you grow up. Plant trees even. Being a jerk, or the drunkest, or a pothead is not really cool. It actually makes you more stupid on the long run. And opting to a less quality couple or even none at all. As somebody who falls in love with people who will never even think to consider me as a partner, thrust me, it hurts, and will continue for the rest of the life, and if you manage to meet someone, while not listening to this (go to therapy too or a counselor) it will be a trouble marriage that will end in divorce, always, ALWAYS, because as the same that you have dirty rags, your partner will too, and the dumbest part is that both will be together by the rush of not dying alone + dealing alone with consequences. And problems will begin like one was a buglar and the other an armed robber or even worse.
How do we help ourselves?? What can we do other than deal with consequences that will ruin our lives mostly because nobody corrected us in our family and our neighbors always saw us as rotten since the begining?? So they didn't wanted to "mess with us" either? Because yes, maybe their kids became friends with us, but eventually will leave us apart because of the stuff we did, and even their parents were shouting them to not blend with us because we are a bad influence (and end up screwing them too, they realize later and they hate us for that).
We are now alone, and the only thing we can appeal to is to not end in jail (the stupid "realistic goals").
Motherfucking life.
And im just 26 so be careful it gets worse, fast. I sill havent fully paid for my mistakes and I'm scared and angry as hell. So at least i can try to save your asses. Pd: for your group of friends you are the lost cause one. No wonder why they call you only for party, drugs, beer and stuff? Because they see you a value of 0, and wont even care for what will happen to you.
We are all formed scapegoats already.
Time bombs that they are waiting to see explode. The, eventually will pay one way or another, and what is worse, we are. And we will pay more. Another recomendattion, do and ets, hiv test now, any other question, at least we can help us to save us.

Reminder that English is not my native language, I translated this using my own knowledge of English and the use of translation tools, if you find any errors please let me know.
​
Morikawa and Matsui went out of that Karaoke room, but they both stayed in front of the door, refusing to look at each other and understanding little by little the madness they had just done and witnessed.
Matsui began to feel horribly ashamed; the excitement had disappeared and then he understood that he kissed without permission Morikawa, touched her breasts, and licked them. Embarrassment began to invade him, he felt stupid and scared what would Morikawa think of him now? The desire to run away was getting stronger and stronger.
He looked towards the end of the corridor seeing the exit of the Karaoke, it's not far, he can just run away, escape from this hopeless situation.
But hadn't he done the same with Yoshizuka after their dance? That had brought no good.
He charged up his courage and looked at Morikawa with more effort than he should have started to speak "I-I... I beg your pardon" he said his voice broken and sounding almost like a whisper, expecting at any moment Morikawa's outburst towards his person.
Morikawa also had to find some courage to look at the boy, things aren't any better for her after all, she had done something rather obscene with him.
She didn't know how to feel about that, Matsui has always been somewhat complicated for her, does she like him? It's kind of confusing, she always feels good with him, talking or just hanging out and she felt jealous and hurt when she saw him dancing with Yoshizuka and the other girl.
And worse was now, despite everything they witnessed what made her hotter than anything else was Matsui's touch on her, her body, her breasts more precisely her mouth, all of that felt much more stimulating than any touch she would have given herself alone.
And when she heard him apologize, she could only ask "Pardon for what?" she questioned not understanding why those words.
"I-I kissed you without permission" Pronounced the boy "I touched you" he said mortified by that act.
Morikawa thought if she should feel bad about that, the answer came fast as a no, she liked what he did to her, it was embarrassing because everyone was watching them, and she definitely would have preferred their first time like that to be in a more private place where they both had the time to go further.
"Y-you don't have to apologize, if you really had done it without my permission, I would have pushed you... That... I liked that, what we did" Hearing it Matsui couldn't believe her.
She liked what he did to her, it certainly stroked his pride in a good way.
"r-really?" He questioned still not quite believing it.
She nodded with some embarrassment.
That made them both stand in silence looking at each other, it took several minutes before what comes from talking to each other settled in their minds.
"So, should we go back home?" asked Matsui.
"Sure... My parents will get restless if I don't come back early" Morikawa replied.
That said, they both walked out of the karaoke, holding hands.
A few hours passed since then and both had returned to their respective home, the shower Matsui took was good to free his mind from the great confusion that had taken over him from the day's events.
It was calmer that it then dawned on him what should have been the most important thing... He had been invited to an orgy.
Clearly, he didn't surprise them, they were doing it and expected him to arrive, he had been invited to an orgy of guys he barely knows.
His phone rang with the sound of a message, he picked it up and looked at Uchida's number.
"Did you like what you saw?" Says the message sent by the bold girl who the week before had been talking to him almost non-stop.
Matsui didn't know what to answer her, he had seen her give Kido a fellatio, of course he heard her moan, so she was probably naked having sex, but at that moment he was completely focused on Morikawa.
"What was that all about?" he answered her by throwing himself on his bed.
"That was our little group activity, the four of us had unlimited fun... Although seeing how you and the president acted, I should better say the six of us had unlimited fun" Matsui looked at the message, not knowing at all what to reply.
He feels that any message he can send may end up condemning him, he tries to think things through calmly, gather his thoughts and breathe calmly, but that is proving to be somewhat useless.
What should he answer? Uchida is getting him and Morikawa into a bunch of orgies.
"Are you all right?" uttered a female voice that snapped him out of his thoughts and his growing panic.
His mother looks at him from the entrance of his room.
"I heard you, start breathing hard and so I opened up to see what's going on" Pronounced the woman approaching her son who seemed to have just come from going through a rather stressful experience.
"I-I... I think I almost had a panic attack" Matsui realized where these doubts had almost taken him.
"Horrible thing that, I had a few at your age" His mother pronounced stroking his hair gently after sitting on the bed.
"You?" the boy asked confused "I don't see you having a panic attack."
"Maybe not now, but when I was young... When I was young, I used to panic about not living up to the expectations placed on me, that's why I'm always nice to you, I don't want you to feel that burden."
His mother was the one who taught him dance and it is true that Matsui has no memory of her ever being very severe with him how he had seen other dance instructors, she was always understanding and patient congratulating his successes and letting him know of his failures, but never aggressively, maybe that's why is mother has a strong character and he a weak one.
"That... That made me weak."
"Weak?" Questioned his mother as if he came from saying the most absurd thing "Honey you danced in front of a group of professionals at the age of 7 without the slightest hint of embarrassment, at 13 you danced sensual tango with a woman twice your age to the point that I had to keep her away from you for a while because she was starting to look at you funny after that" That last Matsui didn't know.
"But... That's when I dance, outside of that I'm shy and... God I can't even manage to speak clearly to the girl I like after all we've done" His mother sighed listening to him.
"You know your father is the expert at this. I admit to not being the most empathetic and the one who can least relate to how you feel, but I know you honey. When you dance or when you don't, you are a strong and brave little man, you are not a comic book character, you don't transform into someone else when you dance, you are the same precious son of mine" She pressed a kiss to his forehead, an act of gentleness rarely present in his mother "Whatever it is that has you like this I know you can cope."
She gave him one last smile before walking out of the room, leaving him alone.
Matsui watched his mother leave going over the conversation he comes from having with his mother in his head.
"I'm the same person... Dancing or not dancing... It's me... Just me" he let out a sigh, picked up the phone and answered the message.
He put the phone aside and lay down on the bed.
The message Matsui put to Uchida was "I'm sorry, I don't want to participate in something like that" It was something simple, but also something that cost him a lot, since after all, by refusing, he knows that he is forever turning away from Uchida, Yoshizuka and if Morikawa agrees to join them... Then also from her.
With all his heart he hopes Morikawa won't accept, but if she does... he will accept the pain and move on, as his father said, because after all he is brave, as his mother said.

Hey there, readers! Here's chapter five for your reading pleasure! Please consider leaving a comment or review as those really do just pick me right up!
I've Been Reincarnated as a Bunny Girl?! (Chapter 5)
by
ShadowDragon88
A fine drizzle was coming down on the town of Starlight Rose. A familiar wolf-kin beasta in red robes that appeared to be shimmering despite the cloudy gloom of the day was walking along the main road. In his right hand, he held a long polished oak staff, topped with a red glowing gemstone the size of his fist. In his left hand, held away from his body, was a tan leather satchel, the drawstring tied in a knot. It appeared full, and seemed to shudder and wriggle. Felixin smiled and nodded to passing villagers.
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"Hey there, Felixin," came the rumbling voice of Earl Shatterknuckle. The blonde dwarf, presently wearing just simple brown leather trousers, fell in step beside his taller friend. Felixin looked down at the dwarf, whose smaller frame was bulging with muscles, with blue and gold glowing tattoos tracing intricate spider-web-like symbols across his chest and arms, smiling back.
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"Good day to you, Earl," the wolf said. There was a spitting-chittering sound coming from the bag, making Felixin pause and frown before giving the satchel a good whack with his magical staff. "Quiet, you!" he hissed at it.
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"Caught yourself another evil spirit, eh?" Earl said with a smirk.
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"Oh yes, and this one was quite the nasty piece of work. I'm on my way back to my lab to properly dispose of it. I think it's from some destroyed remnant of Eld technology, one of the ones that gained sentience, or at least some spiritual semblance to it," Felixin said as he gave the bag another whack when it started to make some electronic beeping sounds.
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"Oh?" Earl asked, curious. "I remember more than once we had some nasty run-ins with Eld-tech back when we were adventurers."
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"I remember you and Melthi being the ones to turn the blasted machines on, both times when cautioned not to," Felixin said pointedly, making the dwarf chuckle.
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"What can I say? We're both curious by nature!"
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"Yes, that's one word for it," Felixin said with a smile, remembering his adventuring days and the party of friends he would regularly travel with. "Anyways. For some reason, about six years ago, they suddenly became much more prevalent. Thankfully, their numbers have been dropping back down over the years."
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"What makes you think this one is from Eld tech?"
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"It kept saying 'Does not compute!' over and over again, while also identifying some kind of rabbit threat." Felixin's mood seemed to shift and his ears laid back on his head, while his tail dipped, almost long enough to drag on the ground behind him. "And when it mentioned rabbits, it made me think of my little princess."
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Earl rolled his eyes as he reached up and clapped the town wizard on the back. "Ah, Kiana'll be back to visit before you know it."
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"I know... it's just, one minute she was this little delicate baby girl, and the next minute, she was this amazing young woman, all ready to up and go out."
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"Didn't Kiana kick down a couple of brick walls when she was a baby?" Earl asked, scratching his head. Felixin waved a dismissive paw at that.
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"Pure coincidences. Those walls were clearly unsound and improperly constructed, so much so that when she was having one of her tantrums just a little punch or kick was enough to send them tumbling down. We're lucky she wasn't hurt or scared, just confused and curious more than anything. Anyways, I just get so worried when I think of her, out there on the open road. Just so... vulnerable. Thankfully I made sure to instill in her a proper sense of caution." Earl snorted at that.
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Meanwhile...
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Kiana let out a roar of fury as her trusted tetsubo connected with the raised steel shield of the bandit before her. The metal dented and warped just as the bandit, shield and all, became airborne. They traveled in an arc straight towards a stone tower connected to an old run-down fort the bandits had holed up in. The screaming man smashed into the top of the tower, crumbling it, his screams instantly going silent.
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"Fire!" Kiana heard a deep voice shout. There were several blasts and, thanks to Kiana's speed, she watched as five cannonballs headed in her direction. To the ordinary person, the black metallic spheres were probably nearly impossible to follow. To Kiana, it looked as though they were moving incredibly slow. She simply stepped aside from four of them, letting them explode into the nearby hillside. As the fifth one hurtled her way, she crouched slightly, raising her tetsubo like a baseball bat. She swung and smacked the cannonball, her tetsubo making a loud DING, and sent it flying right back where it had come from. The two bandits manning the cannon were obliterated along with the weapon itself, as well as a good chunk of the fort wall.
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"She's some kind of demon!" one of the bandits cried. The man, really more of a boy, no older than Kiana, leapt down from the fort wall onto a carriage they had recently stolen from some traveling aristocrats. He then leapt onto the ground and sprinted out into the forest, stripping off the black cloak with the red eye in the center.
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"DAMMIT!" the bandit leader cursed, pulling off his tricorn hat and dabbing his bald sweaty head with a handkerchief. While the remaining men were busy barring the windows or reloading and firing the cannons, he was gnashing his teeth. After a moment's hesitation, he pointed to a nearby subordinate. "You! Follow me. We'll unleash the troll on her."
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The other bandit paled, audibly gulping. "Th-the troll? Are you sure th-that's wise?" Just as he finished asking that, another cannonball destroyed another cannon, making the entire structure shudder.
​
"We don't have any other options. Hopefully, after it kills her, it'll be injured enough for us to finish it off... or the other way around if she kills it." The other bandit grimaced at the options laid before them, but nodded solemnly. Outside, Kiana smacked another cannonball back at the cannon that fired it, being careful not to send it flying towards the base of the tower. According to one of the kidnapped merchants that had managed to escape and make it all the way to town, the cells where the bandits were holding their ransom victims were all on the ground floor. Kiana stopped when she heard a loud guttural roar, followed by a rapid series of loud BOOMs. Bandits ran by the windows and open holes of the fort, while the front gate slowly opened.
​
Out stumbled a massive creature. Its flesh was a dark brown, and had a texture not unlike tree bark. Its long arms and legs were thicker than the old oak trees in the forest near Starlight Rose. Its gnarled hands, with thick thorn-like protrusions sticking from the knuckles, balled into fists, fists that were as big as Kiana was tall. Its barrel-chest heaved, with white criss-crossing scars in its bark-flesh. It didn't have much in the way of a neck, and its head looked just like a tree stump, complete with root-like tendrils wriggling back and forth. It's mouth was partially concealed by the tendrils, until it reared back and opened its gaping maw, revealing rows of broken yellow teeth, to let out a bellow that shook the ground. From the top of its head grew two slightly spiraling branch-like horns.
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"These idiots somehow managed to get a forest troll?" Kiana asked out loud, a smirk appearing on her face. "And this was only a gold-ranked quest? Something tells me I'm in for a sweet bonus."
​
The beast stopped as its knot-like eyes, of which there were at least seven, caught sight of the bunny girl. Up above from the second story windows and holes and from on the roof, the remaining bandits, many of them injured, looked down. Most were smirking, some of the more foolish ones shouted out taunts. The bandit leader stood there, looking grim-faced, but taking some satisfaction in knowing that despite their losses today, the annoying source of their problems was about to end, one way or another.
​
Kiana stuck the end of her tetsubo into the dirt, large and surprisingly quick thudding steps shaking the ground. The beast was lumbering towards Kiana, who didn't look the least bit afraid. While not intelligent enough to be truly sentient, the troll did have enough sense to know that its prey should be running. And the fact that it was just calmly standing there, staring at it, only angered it further. With a final roar, the forest troll charged forward. It balled up a massive fist, and swung straight for Kiana. Kiana swung her own fist, the two colliding.
​
There was a very loud, sickening crunch and pop. The bandits looked down in shock and horror as where the now screaming troll's fist and forearm had been, there was a bloody and jagged stump that ended just above the right elbow. The troll screeched and lunged at Kiana, hoping to impale her on its horns. But the bunny girl simply kicked, knocking the head clean off the rest of its body. The head bounced off a tree and rolled for a bit, settling in the dirt, a look of surprise on the stump-like face. The rest of the body tumbled over three times before coming to a rest near the make-shift stables, where the carriages and horses of the abducted nobles were kept. Kiana looked back up at the fort, making the majority of the bandits shrink back and shudder. A few of them began to wave white tablecloths hastily tied to sticks and tree branches.
​
A short time later the bandits, now in shackles, were being marched to the mechanical cart as the local sheriff and his deputies led them. Except for the severely injured ones, who were shackled to stretchers and loaded up into a seperate mechanical carriage. Kiana looked on as bodies were checked for possible survivors, there being very few to find, as the merchants and a few nobles were led by deputies out from the fort. Kiana smiled at them and nodded to their looks of awe, some of them having gotten a good look at the show of force the petite bunny girl had demonstrated. Ignoring the ones who shrank back away from her in fright, Kiana spotted the sheriff, a large older man in his mid-fifties with salt and pepper close-cropped hair and a matching mustache. He was wearing the classic green cloak, directing his deputies. He turned to face her as she approached.
​
"I think that's all cleared up," Kiana said, her voice chipper, belaying the fact she had a smattering of blood and gore staining her fur.
​
"I'd have to agree with you, young lady," Sheriff Tonsol said, his voice even. In truth, he had tried to avoid enlisting the aid of any adventurers until pressure from various merchants and nobility forced his hand. And even then he had expected it to involve a large party and, more than likely, some lives lost from the hostages. He was a little surprised when the girl reached into her satchel to produce a clipboard with a form on it, as well as an ink pen.
​
"In that case, would you mind signing this form indicating that I completed the job satisfactorily?" Tonsol looked at the form for a minute, and then his mouth curved upwards. He let out a chuckle and signed his name on the indicated line, writing in the date as well.
​
"Satisfactorily is putting it lightly, miss," he said, handing the clipboard and pen back to the bunny girl. "I had no idea that they had a forest troll in their possession. I went ahead and bumped up the reward."
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"Oh wow, thank you, sir!" Kiana said, looking excited.
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Tonsol smiled, something his deputies claimed to be a rare sight to behold. "Well, you earned it. I'm just glad you were able to get them to surrender without harming any hostages. Well, without them harming any more than the ones they did last time someone came out here to free them."
​
"I'm glad I could help!" Kiana said, bowing a little. "Now, I'm going to head back into town." She spread her arms wide and indicated to herself. "I'm really in need of a bath at this point."
​
"If you don't mind waiting a minute, you can ride back to town with us. It's faster than walking."
​
"Oh, thanks for the offer, but I'm good." Kiana waved, before jogging back to where she'd left her tetsubo and pack, Mirabelle coiled around it protectively. She grabbed the items up, quickly looking through the travel pack to make sure she still had everything, and nodded to herself, satisfied. She slipped the pack onto her back, then scooped her pet snake into her arms, and started to jog down the road in the direction of the town of Hengecliffe. Picking up speed, she rapidly became a blur, and in just a few seconds she was coming to a sliding stop in front of the town gates, startling a couple of bored-looking guards.
​
She greeted them and let Mirabelle down before they let her inside. They stared at the snake with the big pink ribbon around its neck slithering obediently behind the bunny girl. She stopped off at the local guild hall to drop off the signed paperwork and collect her now even heftier reward. She noticed a few stares in her general direction, and some unhappy grumbling from some fellow adventurers, but otherwise no one said anything.
​
Kiana then headed to the town inn where she still had a room for another night. Thankful again that this world had indoor plumbing, with hot water to boot, Kiana wasted no time in stripping off her gore-coated clothes, which she would wash in the laundry room down the hall, and enjoyed a nice steamy shower. She didn't have to worry about possible intruders, as Mirabelle sat coiled on the bed, ever vigilant.
​
"Today was a good day," Kiana said, stepping out of the shower and drying herself off, a feat that took several minutes with a towel. This left her gray and white fur all fluffed-out, which led to her brushing it out. Kiana had grown accustomed to the care and maintenance of her fur, taking pride in keeping it clean. She then donned her underwear and a cream-colored sundress from her pack, carefully putting her dirty clothes in the laundry sack in her pack. She smiled and stroked Mirabelle's head, the snake letting out a contented purr-like hiss.
​
"I'm going to go out and enjoy the rest of the afternoon in town. You stay here and guard the pack, okay?" she asked, slipping her mithril knuckles into her dress pockets, along with a small money pouch. Mirabelle hissed, thumping her tail on the bed in response, curling up tighter around Kiana's belongings.
​
"Good girl," she praised, before heading out, locking the door behind herself for good measure. Kiana smiled as she stepped out onto the paved sidewalk, carriages passing by on the street. Hengecliffe was much larger than Starlight Rose, with paved streets and even streetlights. Centrally located in a region of plains, it served as a trading hub. Kiana walked along, noticing a few men and women looking her over. Some seemed to do so with distaste, more than likely not enjoying the sight of a beasta. But most seemed to be pleasant people observing a new face.
​
"Well now, if my eyes are not deceiving me, it seems that an angel from the heavens has decided to grace us mere mortals with her presence." Kiana's ears twitched at the sound of the male voice. She paused and turned, looking down an alley, where a man leaning up against the side of a building stood, looking her over. He was wearing brown leather trousers, a white linen shirt, and a belt with a large buckle which, matching the large buckles on his boots, made him look a bit like a pirate. The goatee and the cutlass sheathed at his side were also not helping.
​
"Hello, beautiful," he said, giving Kiana a wink. Kiana rolled her eyes, and moved to keep walking, only to find a squat bald man standing in her way, grinning sinisterly. Kiana checked behind herself and saw another man, a larger one with a completely shaved head, arms crossed with a club under one arm. "Now, how about we all go somewhere more... private," the pirate-looking moron asked, giving Kiana a smug wink.
​
"Wow, you idiots have no idea just how badly you messed up," Kiana said, walking into the alley, the two guys following right behind her. The men chuckled. Passersby stopped when they heard three loud thuds coming from the alley, all of which made the nearby buildings shudder. They saw a bunny beasta girl walking out, brushing some dust off her sundress. She smiled and waved and continued on her way, leaving behind three broken figures. Two were lying in craters in the pavement of the alley, while the third, this one with a cutlass laying at his booted feet, was standing... his head laying all the way back in a hole in the brick wall right behind him.
​
Later that evening...
​
Kiana was sitting just outside the town walls on a hill, watching the stars come out. After sixteen years, it still mystified her to look up at the night sky, and not see any of the old constellations. She smiled as a shooting star streaked its way across the sky. Suddenly, Kiana felt a surge of energy just course through her. Her eyes faintly started to glow with the blue light, and she felt a strange pulsing in her chest. Looking around, she felt a strange magnetic pull coming from the south.
​
Starting as a jog, Kiana soon found herself sprinting outright across the countryside. She ran, as a blur, following the pull, her eyes gradually glowing brighter and brighter, shining with the crackling blue energy. Then, she came to a stop. She stood at the foot of a mountain, itself part of a larger range. Looking up at the mass of rock and ice, she could see broiling clouds up over it, flashes of lightning briefly illuminating the rocky and snowy peaks. With one such flash, Kiana saw something move. Something big. Kiana's glowing eyes went wide.
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"Oh wooooooooow," she said, her jaw hanging open. There were rumbles as the giant coiled mass shifted. Several avalanches were caused by the serpentine body, buried under tons and tons of snow. At the very peak of the mountain, a gargantuan head rose.
​
"Is that a giant... cobra?" Kiana asked under her breath. Indeed, that was what the creature that seemed to dwarf the Spire appeared to be. In the light of the lightning, she saw that its scales were a deep blue, almost purple. There were stripes running down its back, but they were glowing a bright bioluminescent blue. That same glow radiated from the creature's reptilian eyes, and the inside of its hood. The same glowing blue as Kiana's eyes.
​
"What... are you?" Kiana asked, quietly.
​
I can ask the same of you, little one, a deep female voice hissed in Kiana's head. She winced and looked around. She then looked back up at the creature, her veins flooded with adrenaline. There was another flash of lightning, and in that very instant, the creature's head was bent down low, right in front of her. Kiana almost jumped back, but stopped herself. As the snake-entity looked her over with an eye that was twice as tall as she was, Kiana felt a sense of calm overtake her.
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"Are you... a storm dragon? A real storm dragon?" Kiana asked, reaching out and touching the creature's cheek with her hand. It flicked out a blood red tongue, its mouth curling up a little at the corners.
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That is something that little ones like to call my kind, she said. Kiana figured right then and there that this was a female.
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"A monk said that... my spirit is like one of yours," Kiana said, breathlessly.
​
Your soulsong feels similar to one of our kind, little one, she said, turning her head and gently nuzzling the top of Kiana's head, making her ears lay flat. The storm dragon's head was almost as large as the entirety of her hometown.
​
"My... soulsong?" Kiana asked. The monk she had met hadn't said anything about them.
​
The song of your innermost being. It stands out from the loud and noisy cacophony that happens when most little ones gather together in large groups. Yours is beautiful, and a little... fluttery. The dragon gave her a wink. She reared up and opened her mouth. Electricity danced between the dragon's fangs, before she shot out a sonic boom. The raging storm above abated, the clouds dispersing, leaving only a crystal clear night sky for miles and miles around. She then turned and looked down at Kiana. The bunny girl felt the storm dragon's gaze. She felt a radiating warmth coming from her. It reminded Kiana of her mother.
​
It was so nice to meet you, little one. It was quite the pleasant surprise to awaken to. She let out a proud roar, and her body began to undulate. Sections of the mountain range began to crumble as large sections of mountain were crushed and smashed by the body slamming into them. The body of the dragon rose into the air, beginning to gracefully slither about. Levitating there, partially coiled, the sheer size of the storm dragon just boggled the bunny girl's mind.
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"Will I see you again?" Kiana asked, feeling a little sad. She had just met this beautiful and amazing being, and already they were leaving.
​
Of course, little one, the mental voice in her mind chuckled warmly. I have listened to your beautiful soulsong, and I have shared my soulsong with you.
​
"I... I don't understand what that means," Kiana said, confused.
​
You will, little one, she said, you are still young, but my soulsong has resonated within you. When you stop and listen, it will become easier and easier to hear it. And thus, the bond has begun to form. In time, you shall understand. With a flick of the creature's tail, there was a flash of lightning that radiated from within the hood, and she was gone. Kiana stood there, her eyes readjusting to the dark.
​
"This world is so awesome," she said, a smile on her face, as she began to job back towards town. She figured that if the town gates were closed and locked, she could just jump over the wall.
​
Meanwhile...
​
The lone figure stood in the dark, staring at where the great serpent had been levitating. They were sitting on a log in a small clearing, where they had set up camp. The individual in question was polishing their armor when a gray blur had shot right past them. And then, where it had been heading, the giant serpent, an actual storm dragon, arose. They sat there in stunned silence. They knew right then and there, that it had been a sign from the gods. As they unsheathed their katana, it began to thrum with magical energy, the blade becoming engulfed in bright purple flames.
​
The light of the purple flames illuminated his green face, glinting off his polished tusks. "Soon, the war shall begin," said the orc, sheathing the blade and cutting off its purple light. The same purple light shone from his eyes.
​
Name: Kiana
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Species: Beasta (Rabbit-Kin)
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Age: 16
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Skills: Sibling Wrangler, Babysitter, Puppy-Dog Eyes, Master Martial Arts, Brawling, Heavy Weapon Proficiency, Sarcasm Mastery, Eyerolling Mastery, Beast Taming Level 3
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Class: (Official) Master-Level Dragon Monk: Storm Dragon School, Storm Dragon Hatchling.
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Str: 141
Int: 12
Dex: 140
Cha: 12
Wis: 10
Con: 172
Languages: Common, Draconic
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Equipment: Adventurer's Pack, Steelwood Tetsubo, Mastercraft Mithril Knuckles (x2), Rope (25 Ft.), Canteen (Full), Road Rations, Spare Clothes, Bedroll, Health Potion (x2), Books (x3)
I really hope that you enjoyed the new chapter! Thank you for reading so far!
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I (26 f) have been having the worst ADHD symptoms of my life this past week. I bought some paint to patch up a few spots in my house, ended up getting hyper fixated and decided to paint my bathroom a god awful red color. I’ve spent the past two days layering on coats of primer to get rid of the red, and I’m honestly fucking up my walls at this point. I have the worst brain fog and keep going down these hyperfixation rabbit holes where I realize I’ve been painting for hours and haven’t eaten anything, went to the bathroom, or drank any water. I have about a billion things I want to do (work out, clean my house, do laundry, see a friend) and can’t seem to do any of them. I’m distracted, confused, spacey, irritable and restless. I don’t understand what’s going on because I’m usually good at managing my ADHD symptoms, but this week my ADHD is managing me. Sos!!

He left me with a floor covered in dirty laundry. What am I going to do when I can't smell him anymore? When I can't pretend it's him I'm holding instead of my own shoulders? Who is going to dry my tears when our sheets don't have his scent anymore? I'll have no one to calm me down after a nightmare. No one to slow my breath during a panic attack. I'm desperately scavenging around for anything I can do to keep him here, with me, next to me. He was the only thing to ever make me feel so incredibly safe and warm. So relaxed. My first love left me a widow. I'm 23. And I'm all alone.

My partner loves video games whereas I am not as enthusiastic, sometimes I play for fun.
Normally after we come back from work, I do the housework so he can relax from the workday, and I generally like doing the work myself.
But I was very tired days ago + my shark week, so I asked him if he can do the housework and he got really upset telling me how this new game Diablo 4 came out and all his friends agreed to starting together and I’m ruining this important thing.
I pleaded multiple times, and he knows I have general anxiety when house is messy. So I just left for my parent’s house. He kept calling me telling me my attitude is ass then asking me to come back and I feel like all this time he could have just done the work. Idk
Edits:
1) I meant shark week as my period, not a TV show. 2) He never told me about this game, he doesn’t talk to me about games because I’m dun understand. He usually talks about his law school stuff 3 The housework needed done is just dirty dishes, laundry, and the things throw everywhere when he comes back, would have taken 30min at most I feel like instead of arguing with me. I ran to my parents house because I hate confrontations gives me huge mental problems and I wanted to stop crying/shaking.

I (27F) tried to post this on a separate forum but did not receive any response which made me feel more alone than before I posted. So let’s just make the pain a bit worse I guess.
Pretty much just going to lay out what happened to me as best as I can. Recently it's been a major struggle to come to terms with just about everything that had happened to me but here I go.
So the first event happened to me around I want to say the ages of six and eight but my memory is hazy and it was with a childhood friend. Because it was a girl and of my catholic upbringing there was so much confusion. I didn't know what was just kids exploring. I didn't know what was considered inappropriate, but now looking back it all was. I was exposed far too young to sexual actions and the person wasn't much older than me so I never believed I fit under the 'abused' category.
I never told anyone what was going on. I feared I would get laughed at. I thought it was just us being friends. And then it got weird as I got older. Friends don't show each other porn, don't literally do the things they saw on the video at this age. It was just all so confusing for me. Once everyone started making fun of me and telling me I was a lesbian for simply existing. My siblings and the people I would go to school with would tease me about me being a lesbian and a part of me wonder did they know? how did they find out? was she telling people? was i a lesbian? and so once i hit middle school I confronted my abuser.
i asked her why she did what she did and said that it was wrong. it was in the lunch room, i will never forget the day. she laughed in my face, and so did her friend who couldn't believe what she heard. then she just hooked onto my best friend and shoved their close bond in my face. I remember from that moment I stopped trusting myself, I stopped feeling like anything anyone said was the truth, nothing in the world made sense anymore. Because I was sure of what happened yet she denied my reality completely.
Obviously I was too young to understand what was happening, but I still completely took it out on myself. I was suddenly disgusting, my body was gross, especially my growing body. I hated everything about myself and I didn't think I would ever be chosen. I felt shunned and laughed at and like everyone was in on a joke about me that I didn't understand. So I shut in to myself and went into my books instead.
Then the next event happened. From the seventh to eighth grade my brother's best friend would sneak into my room and grab my breast. I would just freeze in fear. I wouldn't move and I wouldn't speak. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to do. He just kept doing it. And he would get bolder, just doing it in my room or in the back of the car. It was sickening. And then he would ask disgusting pestering questions on facebook. There was no escaping him. I always feared he would come over my house when no one was home and really mess with me. But thankfully that never happened. Eventually it subsided and I never told anyone again. I only revealed it to my mom after too much wine a few years ago. But my brother still doesn't know. I don’t want to ruin their friendship. And so I just kept it within myself and let it eat away at me.
I started to violently hate my chest, I still don't like to look at them. I feel like I look like Jabba the hutt and I know that is not healthy in the least bit. But I just really started to despise them. Why did they have to grow so big? Why did people have to stare? Why did it bring attention I didn't ask for?
All through high school I refused to date. I was completely devoid of any sort of self esteem or confidence and I just hated every single day of going to school. I dropped out my senior year and really didn't do much except smoke with my friend. I tried to fit in but always felt out of place or like I was living in someone elses world and not my own. I was just numb. I was lucky to not go down too dark of a path, but I did shut down internally more than anything and stifled myself from a lot of experiences in fear that I would just get taken advantage of.
And then the week after I dropped out of high school I was raped at a party when I was black out wasted. It happened in my friends car. And when I asked her what happened she said "You fucked someone in my car that's what happened" and when I told her it was rape she laughed at me and told me not to be ridiculous. I remember rubbing the bruises on my throat as I replayed the words my friends repeated to me. "You were just too fucked up." "I didn't even know you were into him and suddenly bam".
For years I never admitted what happened to me. But I always felt off. I never felt good about the event. It made me feel dirty and like I needed a shower. I remember waking up and just wanting to go home. Nothing made sense anymore. But again, I just brushed it off and avoided avoided avoided.
I lived my best life. I took control in the way I thought I could. Which was extremely damaging. I dated guys with girlfriends, I messed around with guys I really shouldn't have that sort of thing. And then in my mid twenties someone I was hooking up with raped me after I said no repeatedly. I had to physically kick him off me. I felt myself closing around me as I kept asking him what did you do? What did you do? He told me I was just confused. Then he cornered me at a party the next time he saw me and told me we were just two consensual adults having fun which couldn't be further from the truth. I thought I deserved it, I thought it was just karma for all the dudes with girlfriends I messed around with.
Just not too sure where to go from here, but just ready to find support and not take this on alone. I am in therapy but the work doesn’t seem to be working, I fear I will never have a normal life while my abusers are off happy and in relationships.
If anyone has a great surviving to thriving story I’d love to hear it.