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2023.06.01 00:06 Twayneeded Oct 2022

I had to work on the weekend today. Left at 6:30 and got home at 1:30. I stopped off to get a salad for lunch and got home and ate it. Considering I worked all day I sat down and watched tv for 20 min. My wife was cleaning after I got home. I then got up to put up the laundry the wife had left in the chair for the last 2 weeks since the last time I put up the laundry. she then started yelling at me that the only time i help is when she is mad. Honestly I couldn't even tell she was mad because she has been in the same mood for a month already and I couldn't tell the difference. She has been in the mood for the past 4-5 years anyway i've just gotten used to it.
OC wanted to stay home from church on today and then yc did too. I kept them all day and took them to the park at 3:30pm while wife was still at her school working. She found out they went to the park after i told oc to tell her about petting a hamster at the park. She got very angry that i didn't tell her we left the house to go to the park.
Making my life miserable hasn't stopped. We no longer say I love you and no longer say goodnight. I have caught her yelling at the kids multiple times at night,but of course I'm the problem not her. Today I had to work and my wife was taking the kids to the state fair. I unfortunately left my work uniform at home and had to come home to change and take a shower after working out. The wife was still home and gave me a pissed off go to hell look when she opened the door. I got home at the usual time and texted her to tell me when she left so I could have supper ready when they get here so we could be in time for the scouts. She texted back that she would barely have time to get to scouts much less come home and eat supper first. I then texted her ok just swing by and pick me up so we don't waste gas. She left late and told me that she wouldn't have time. This woman controls every aspect of her time when on trips. She could have left early enough for some family time before scouts. I feel like she is trying to alienate me from my kids already. I can tell this is going to be a rough divorce. She went to bed early
and never said goodnight. I can't count the number of times she has gotten mad at me for going to be without telling her goodnight much less I love you. We rarely say love anymore and I never hear a kind word out of her mouth.
This morning as usual I was getting the kids dressed as I usually do. I usually just start dressing them while they are waking up and they usually do fine. OC i do not dress because he is older and will do it himself after he completely wakes up but he is also difficult to wake up. Yc does not do anything herself and she is the one I dress while waking up. She is usually chipper and happy afterwards. Wife came into the room and started berating me for not working with the kids to wake them up. They will not wake up this way with me. So I leave the room after essentially being told I don't know how to parent my kids. The kids were not crying or hurt in any way until the wife came into the room and yc instantly started crying. After they woke up I could not find my daughters shoes. I searched the house including the kids' bedrooms. I tell my wife who then as usual starts to berate me and then goes and looks for them. After a few minutes she finds them in the Oc room hidden beneath a pile of toys that they had made the previous night. Oc room is absolutely disgusting and piles of toys and blankets everywhere. How was I supposed to know to look under that specific pile? it would take a long time to sift through all of his crap. Wife then goes on a tangent about not getting any help cleaning the house, completely ignoring the number of times i have cleaned the house and his room and them messing it up within days of it being cleaned and her not helping to enforce them cleaning their own rooms. I go back to my yc because i usually brush her hair in the morning. She didn't want me to brush her hair and I told her mommy is busy and is already mad so please let me do it. She started crying and my wife instantly started asking what I did to her. Wife instead of telling yc to go back to me to brush her hair, told her to gather her brush and spray and she would do it after they got to school.
I just need her to back me up and stop instantly giving in to the kids every single time they start to get upset. I am afraid the precedent is already set and cannot be overcome easily and will never be overcome so long as she doesnt make it a team effort. It's just making both of our lives more difficult but she doesn't have a backbone when it comes to the kids.
Wife asked me to pay the gas card today so she could fill up. I messed up and had to reset the password. I updated the password on our google sheet and then texted her that i paid it, had to reset the password, and saved it on the google sheet drive. She came home and started to gripe at me for resetting the password and said that I probably didn't remember the password. I told her I saved it on the google sheet and she said that I should have told her that. When I said I did she got mad at me and told me that I didn't. I then reread the text that I sent her about it and she got even more upset because she had an excuse because she was busy. Then she started to tell me that I never believe her when she says that I didn't tell her things and only occasionally have proof that I am right. That statement makes no sense. If I have proof that something she accused me of is wrong, why am I supposed to believe her the other times when she was wrong this time? I feel like I am being gaslighted.
Wife had a state exam today. She has been really busy and studying for it for a month or so. She asked me to change the guinea pigs blanket and food. I agreed and did as she asked. Afterwards she got home and talked to ychild about the guinea pigs. The ychild told her about changing the pigs habitat i overheard her talking to ychild about how I don't take of them very often.
I didn't even want the guinea pigs. We are supposed to be saving up for ychild surgery and then she went and bought the guinea pigs because the ochild threw a fit about them. We spent over $100 on them on a whim essentially. When I was given an aquarium for free, I was told that I could only have it if I cared for it, that she would not do anything to help the fish/aquarium.
I feel like the same should hold true here. She/kids wanted them so they should have to take care of them but now i am being shamed to my ychild by my own wife because she has to take care of them.
Got woken up by my wife this morning because my alarm didn't go off (i forgot to turn it back on after turning it off on friday.) She started griping that now she had to get the kids ready then go and finish her things. I told her not to worry that I would get the kids dressed 1st before I took care of myself. She then angrily told me to just go to the bathroom and get ready, she would
deal with the kids, so I did. We found my ochild overdue library books in the floorboard of my car's backseat (must have fallen out of his backpack) the previous thursday. After we found them I put them in his backpack and later discovered they had taken them out and were leaving them strange places. I did this several times before I put them on top of the bookshelf so they don't get lost. This morning after the alarm fisco wife started griping at me because I didn't put the books in ochilds backpack. I started to explain where i put them and why i had done that. She didnt care she said it was stupid and for me to get off my high horse. I keep feeling there is no winning in this relationship, there is only pain. I decided to reread some of the early journal entries today and noticed some things and figured I would put them here. I am no longer stating where my wife sleeps and when I wake up alone because for almost a year I have slept in my bed alone and woken up alone. I am no longer stating what housework i do mostly because I always cook, do the dishes, and laundry.
Today is Halloween trunk or treats we will be going too. I have done 3 loads of laundry and put up the kids clothes that my wife has left on the chair and then moved to the bed that has sat unfolded for 2 weeks. I cooked supper last night,did the dishes today, and then mowed the lawn and pulled the weeds in the front and back yards.Afterwards i came inside and wife started griping at me because she assumes i wanted to take a shower after all the things I did and we only had 20 minutes before we left for the events. I decided to just change clothes and throw on some cologne. I sprayed one spritz and next time my wife came into the room she said I must have sprayed myself directly, she makes fun of me when I spray it in the air and walk through, and said she could smell me down the hall. She then started complaining about how she didnt even think about putting perfume on but now she couldn't because we would clash. I don't think she has ever complimented my cologne but she sure does like to complain about it. When we get to the church we had a decent time then came time to clean the pumpkins. Afterwards we went to clean our hands. We had left our buckets so i went back to get them while my wife and ychild went to wash up. Me and Ychild washed our hands as well. Afterwards we waiting outside the bathrooms to find them. I get a text asking if we were coming to get the pumpkins. They had gotten out before us,my wife was mad that I didnt come to the pumpkins instead of waiting outside the bathrooms. She started to gripe at me in public and I got upset with her, i didnt say anything but she knew i was upset from the look I gave her.
Halloween night. Got home and discussed where to go for trick or treating. After getting in the car my wife almost instantly started getting on me about money, almost accusing me of hoarding money. I explained to her about keeping some money in case of an emergency but that just made her worse. I don't know what to do. I don't understand how we can be making this much money but have nothing to show for it. Last year around this time we were living solo off of my paycheck. She has been making 2k a month and then recently 3.5k a month net. She now brings home more money than I do and yet every check she demands my entire paycheck. How can 6.5k a month net us almost nothing in return. Something is wrong and I don't know what it is.
Nov 2022
submitted by Twayneeded to twayneeded [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 00:05 Twayneeded Nov 2022

After being accused of squirreling away money last night, today I took out $400 out of my checking account and deposited it in our joint account. I also changed my direct deposit to put $100 into my account and the balance into our joint account. This left me with $60 to my sole name. I told my wife what I did. When she got home she didn't say anything. I had already cooked supper (in the oven) by the time they made it inside. When ochild asked what we were having and I told him (made from scratch chicken pot pie) he said he didn't like it and my wife said to him “I feel your pain.” It hurt. I cannot help but think what would have been had I said something similar to what she cooked (if she ever cooks again.) Children fell asleep shortly after supper. Wife spent the evening on her computer and phone (tik tok) while I did 2 loads of laundry right in front of her. She eventually left to go take a bath. It really doesn't feel very good to be completely unappreciated.
Today we decided to clean the house.My wife spent literally the entire day cleaning ochilds room and didn't even finish because we went and unexpectedly visited my cousin. In the same amount of time. I cleaned the living room including the walls and vacuumed, swept and mopped the kitchen, hallways, doorway,and bathroom. Cleaned the bathroom and toilet, cleaned the washedryer area (absolutely disgusting) and cooked supper. While doing all of this my wife said something along the lines of it takes her so long because she deep cleans, implying I only superficially clean. I would rather have a superficially clean looking house than an obviously trashy, cluttered, disgusting house because she never has time to deep clean. I tried to put the kids to bed at 10:30 and they fought and argued. I eventually got them down but my wife was saying that they are allowed to stay up late on the weekends. Ridiculous that 10:30 is too early to put the kids to bed on a weekend.
I woke up this morning after the time change and thought we were already late for church so I decided to make banana bread. Turns out I forgot about the time change and I had to stay home to make sure it didn't burn. After my wife got back home we decided to continue cleaning the house. My wife once again spent the rest of the day cleaning ochilds room. While I did the dishes and then completely cleaned the fronts of all the cabinets (disgusting caked on things) and cleaned inside out the fridge. I also did 4 loads of laundry later in front of the kids watching a movie and my wife while she was working on her computer. Wife actually said thank you for helping. Wasn't wanting a thank you. I just want her to stop saying I never help.
After all the cleaning this weekend I woke up to a busy wife. She eventually got upset because I did the dishes but didn't wash her coffee cup that was sitting in the middle of the cluttered table where she put it and not in the sink. After work we ate at Sonic on the way to scouts. I made the kids go to bed at a decent hour but they refused to stay in bed. I eventually went to bed a little early and heard the kids bother their mother. I have no authority to make them go to bed because I cannot overrule their mommy like she can me.
I tried to wake the kids up. I was not mean. Ochild kept crying that he wanted his mom to come wake him up. I told him she was busy but he insisted. She came in while i was dressing ychild. She got hm dressed and he went back to sleep while I brushed ychilds teeth and combed her hair. I caught ochild back in bed and told him to go brush his teeth. He got mad and started stomping his feet and slamming doors on his way to the bathroom. My wife,as usual,asked me what I had done. She just assumes that I piss off the kids on purpose, not that their lack of discipline is responsible for their poor behavior when I have done nothing wrong.
Day started off not too terrible. My wife and kids came home a little late because they stopped at Walmart on the way home. The kids came in carrying sonic ice cream and “I mentioned oh nothing for me?” Wife looked annoyed that I said that and I said I was surprised she did that right before supper because now they aren't going to be hungry. We had leftovers a little while later when ychild said she was hungry, so I let her choose what dish she wanted to eat. She chose chicken enchilada casserole. I made it for her and let her sit on the couch while I made mine. When I came into the living room she was sitting next to my wife with the bowl on the couch and her phone on her lap. We have a rule that the bowl must be in her lap to reduce messiness because she is inattentive. I made her put her phone next to her and eat her food from the bowl in her lap. She started crying (I wasn't being mean) and I could tell my wife was getting annoyed because I made her cry (she hears crying all day long and doesn't want to hear it when she gets home.) She continued to cry and the wife went to the bathroom. I kept trying to convince her to eat and she was being difficult and wouldn't talk to me barely. I discovered that she didn't want to eat the green chiles so I moved them to the side of the bowl so she could eat the rest. She started screaming that she wanted mommy to do it. I told her mommy was in the bathroom and asked her again why she didn't want to eat. I eventually told her that if she didn't eat I was going to clean off a section of the table and she would eat in the kitchen with me. She still wouldn't stop crying or eat and I took her to the kitchen. The wife eventually came out of the bathroom and asked what all the commotion was and why was I getting on to ychild. When she saw her mother come into the kitchen she fell backwards out of the chair and hit the floor. The wife started berating me that ychild would not eat so long as she is crying and kept talking down to me about trying to take care of the situation. She said I shouldn’t have kept talking to her and just let her cry. Once again she has countermanded me in front of the children. I believe this is why ychild started crying so that mommy would get onto daddy and she would her her way. I eventually left the room because I couldn't stand her about me like that. Eventually they make it back into the living room. A few minutes later I noticed the dog was eating the food leftover from her bowl. I asked how she ate and my wife answered more than half and was upset that I asked. About 30 minutes later ychild said she was hungry again and my wife made her spaghettios. I dont think this is a good lesson to teach ychild. That she can just cry to get her way and then later eat whatever she wants.
Today is veterans day and I had the day off work. I woke up to help get the kids ready. My wife said she was surprised I was up. I felt I had to because in the past she would always complain if on a day off I slept in. I heard her complain that her clothes were always put in a pile and were wrinkled. I stopped putting up her laundry a long time ago. I am still the only one that puts up laundry 9 out of 10 times. This is just proof of the pudding that she doesn't even put up her own laundry let alone help out with the household laundry. This is after watching me put up 4 loads of laundry in front of her the previous weekend. After she got home from work she asked me what I had done all day. This is something she used to do all the time when she worked a 9-5 job and I worked 4-10s having an extra day off a week. She used to demand that I spent my extra day cleaning the house and doing chores. This is despite the fact that we both still worked 40 hours a week, mine was just convenient in that I had more consecutive time off. She used to always say that if she had that much time off the house would be spotless. Then when she got layed off or got the summer off once she became a teacher nothing would be done, much less housework.
My wife spent all morning taking a test for school and then went and spent the day volunteering for a local church woman to sit with her while her husband was gone due to her just having had given birth. I had the kids all day to myself with minimal fussing and did the dishes and cooked supper. They started to fuss once she came back home. yChild began to uncontrollably cry and scream over some issue after I went to bed. I have learned from experience not to try and parent at night when my wife is in control from the number of times I've been snapped at that she is taking care of it, so I stayed in bed. She ended up calling her sister to deal with her and I heard her ask where I was and my wife gave her a sarcastic response about me being in bed. She later got the kids in bed with much fussing and came home back into the bedroom to change and bitched me out for not coming in there to help. It's another case of damned if you do and damned if you don't.
My wife spent the morning again taking a test. I got the kids up and dressed and fed. She then came home from the test, ate lunch, and headed back to her school at around 11:30. Ychild wanted to go with her. I spent all day with my son watching our favorite anime. It was a fun day. I also did 3 loads of laundry and cooked supper for us. My wife and ychild did not get home till 11:00 pm and ychild has surgery tomorrow.
Ychild’s surgery went well. No issues other than a lethargic child.
ychild refuses to take her pain medicine from the surgery. My wife suggested she take the medicine with her and get her to take it while waiting for school to start. ychild ended up staying in my wifes classroom all day sleeping and developed a rash where the tube was put in. I stayed a little later than I normally would and got home around 4:45. My wife was already home and I walked into the kitchen and saw that the dishes were done. I had told my wife I would do them later today. I talked to her and asked her how long she had been home to already have done the dishes cause she usually gets home after 5. She told me it only took 15 minutes to do the dishes and she didn't understand why it takes me hours(it doesn't take me that long.). I then realized that what I thought was a nice gesture was just another way for her to put me down. Later she started telling me about ychild’s day and started to talk about how she should have stayed home. She started to berate me for not taking the day off and staying with her. I told her we had talked about it but had decided to try for school anyway. I guess I am supposed to overrule her, that will never happen, or volunteer to stay instead of having a healthy discussion and decision, she just blames me for everything that ends up not going the way she decides.
I worked from home today to stay with ychild.
It's my birthday today. Heard from some family and friends. Arrived at inlaws house for Thanksgiving. I decided to, without being asked, help trim trees and clean up the pasture. Mil and fil praised me in front of my wife, that wasn't my intention.
Thanksgiving day. My wife has made several comments today about me sitting around not doing anything. It has rained the whole day and there is literally nothing for me to do. We were watching McClintock today. It came to the end where John Wayne spanked his wife and my wife asked if they really did that back then. I commented probably not they most likely did a lot worse, she made a comment about being sure because I lived back then. Once again I forgot to just keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself.
It's official. One year without sex. Today we drive back home from the in-laws. Today has been a constant barrage of bs from my wife. Fortunately my in-laws heard some of it. My SIL told me she was sorry.
Next Entry Dec 2022
submitted by Twayneeded to twayneeded [link] [comments]

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submitted by WeCleanBathroom to u/WeCleanBathroom [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 00:04 AbaloneFunny5213 I’m disgusted by my partner

I’ll probably feel bad about posting this in an hour but I need to tell someone about this.
I was raised in a very clean home of daughters, he was raised in a home of only boys. I think that’s why nothing seems to disgust him.
I’m EXTREMELY squeemish, so what just happened is making me feel so unbelievably disgusted.
He made me a coffee, I took a sip and there was a lump in it. I spat it out and it was old cabbage… we have not had cabbage for a few days so where did it come from and how did it happen????
I can still feel it on my tongue, I feel like throwing up. I brushed my teeth, lips over and over.
This stuff happens ALL the time. Sometimes if he cooks something I will find a texture that shouldn’t be there, dog hairs, etc. I am way too squeemish for this.
I’m so respectful when I cook, I was things well, peel off any bad parts of vegetables, make sure my hands are clean etc. His hands are always dirty by the way, he says they’re just stained with dirt but if I smell them I can smell a million different gross things from ages past embedded into them.
submitted by AbaloneFunny5213 to venting [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 00:01 Ziegemon_1 Finally beat S-10

For anyone struggling, I was finally able to do it, on controller, with AT, tc5 and all the assists on full. I got 1:24:600. I had been running Tcs 1, and only abs on, but never got better than bronze. For me, figuring out how to nail the turn going into the first straight and the last two high speed curves. For the first one I lifted at the line marker, turned into the corner, braked hard in the straight bit then tried to stay on the line with as much throttle as I could without hitting a curb. For the two high speed curves at the end I would lift about halfway between the white sign you go under and the apex, hugging the apex as close as I could without touching the curb then just hit the brakes in the indicated braking zone for the second one and was able to carry through with good speed. I found the rest of the track to be way more forgiving than those spots. Happy to be done with missions and license tests, now on to cleaning up the remaining circuit experiences and the rest of the Pokédex.
submitted by Ziegemon_1 to granturismo [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 00:01 maohaze How does trich get into sealed and pasteurized jars and bags?

I've lost several bags and jars this week due to trichoderma. I just don't understand how it's entering my very clean and sanitized work space. And how it's destroying my grain jars and bags after they've been pasteurized and sealed? How is this possible?
What am I doing wrong?
submitted by maohaze to ContamFam [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 00:00 Shagrrotten I’m surprised that I haven’t seen more talk about how Taxi Driver influenced the finale.

In Taxi Driver, after the shootout, the newspaper articles talk about Travis Bickle being a hero when we who have been with him through the movie know that he's a psycho killer who snapped and will end up doing it again, but the narrative is that he’s "a hero cleaning up the streets".
To the public at large, because of the movie made about the events of the show, Barry ended up looking like the pawn, Gene got the blame for Janice's death, Sally gets to start over and still be involved in acting, Hank dies holding Cristobal's hand (but not the real Cristobal), Fuches gets away and heals his relationship with Barry, Jim Moss gets a version of justice for his daughter, and John thinks his dad is a hero.
It’s a fucked up ending in the best way, I thought. A really complicated ending. And that Barry movie to those of us in the audience who have followed these people and know what the real story was, can laugh at how wrong the movie's story of events is, but then you see John watching it and know that that's what people think was the truth. Just as people thought Travis was a hero but we know he wasn’t, the public thinks Barry was a hero and wasn’t.
I saw some people talking about the Taxi Driver connection on Twitter, but knowing that it’s one of Hader’s favorite movies I was surprised that I hadn’t seen any talk of the connection here so I thought I’d bring it up.
submitted by Shagrrotten to Barry [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 00:00 StackAndDeploy Me(34M) and my wife(38F) (1 year married) are fighting a lot and having trouble communicating.

There have been a number of fights these past few months. I consider myself a patient person, but my wife does try my patience. I certainly get on her nerves too.
We just got back from traveling. She leaves for work and I work from home. I left a pile of clothes on the bed in order to find my belt. I try to stay focused on work during the day and do chores after work is complete, so the pile stays. I pick my wife up from work early. I go back to work on my computer for a couple hours. She keeps signaling to me that she is displeased with the state of things at the house. The bed has clothes on it, the table has papers. She got a grocery delivery that I helped bring in but did not put away. She's saying things like "I have a headache and all I want to do is lay down." She'll sigh heavily at the documents on the dining room table.
When I was done working I went into the kitchen. She was relaxing, watching TV. I eat meat and she does not. I went into the fridge and she asked what I was doing. I told her I was making some ground beef. She told me she was hoping I'd make a stir fry. I told her I didn't want to make a stir fry, it takes much longer to make than ground beef. The groceries are still not put away and she expresses that she would like me to do that too. Not sure why she couldn't put them away while I worked, but she decided to do that herself while I cooked dinner.
So, I ate some dinner and then came back into the kitchen to clean up. Work is over and dinner is over, it's time for me to do some cleaning. I'm throwing away things in the kitchen, putting things back in drawers, taking things from the dining room and putting them away. My wife is in the kitchen (it's small), and she's hovering over the counter where some of my food prep is located. I leave the kitchen area to start doing some other chores and before I can take my 4th step she says to me in an annoyed tone, "Are you going to clean up the mess you made in the kitchen?"
I'm frustrated at that question because it implies that I wasn't going to clean it up; the only reason I didn't clean it up is because she was physically in the way. But I told her, yeah I was gong to clean it, and then went back into the kitchen and reached over her to put stuff away. I put some seeds that were on the counter in a fruit bowl (where they were when I prepared my dinner) and she got upset that I didn't put them away in the "right spot." I assumed that she put the seeds in the fruit bowl area on purpose so that she could make breakfast with them or something. I certainly don't remember originally putting seeds in the fruit bowl. I try to explain that but she gets really condescending about how they "obviously don't go in the fruit bowl."
That kind of talk is what gets to me. I told her, "you know, if you have an issue with that, you can always put the nuts away yourself." Then she goes on and on about how I'm being messy and I haven't cleaned the kitchen and the bed and the table and the groceries. That makes me extra mad because I am actively doing those things and am about to clear the table and the bed. Meanwhile she hasn't unpacked at all, and the table is full of her own messes...I find that really frustrating.
So then we get into a fighting death spiral where she condescends and interrupts my explanations and I raise my voice and she tells me she doesn't like the way I'm talking to her, and I tell her she's being demanding and naggy. I tell her there is plenty of shit she can do around here instead of bossing me around. She tells me that she's been working all day and doesn't feel well, and I'm telling her I've been working and active non-stop too. I do say snippy mean things like "it's not like you do anything around the house, you're the one watching TV, have you seen me sitting around?" She does do stuff around the house, I'm just mad.
So the way I see it; she gets very passive aggressive and signals her discontent. She becomes demanding, micromanages, and condescends. Then I get angry, raise my voice, and say mean blanket statements.
When apology time comes around, she asks me to apologize for yelling and saying mean things. I oblige. Then when we rehash the situation, my wife cannot see a flaw in the way she acted. She will condescendingly say "Sorry for asking you to clean up your mess." Again, this kind of talk drives me crazy. It's like because she didn't say anything that sounds mean on paper and it's all context, she is completely free of guilt and doesn't bother taking responsibility for being rude. Then the fighting just starts all over again.
This is just one stupid argument, of which there have been many. About finances, or bad habits, or home ownership, or family plans. What advice do you have?
submitted by StackAndDeploy to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 00:00 billysnake Help with Android usb-c port

I have a weird issue with my Android phone (Pixel 7).
I've been using Android auto in my car for a long time without any issue. Earlier this week I took the car to a carwash to clean the interior of the car, since then the phone is unable to connect to Android auto.
I've tried multiple good cables, and none work. Phone charges without issue, and there doesn't seem to be any dirt in the port.
I've tried cleaning the port with water, compressed air, etc... I've tried resetting the car dashboard to factory settings... still won't connect to Android auto.
I suspect some car cleaning product could have got on the usb-c cable that was dangling between the seats, and it could then have spread to the phone usb-c port.

Any ideas on how I could clean it or why it stopped working?
submitted by billysnake to techsupport [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 00:00 Twayneeded Dec 2022

Tonight was grocery night. My wife started in on me with the kids in the car about all the problems in our marriage. She says I blame her for the last year, that I no longer look at or tough her. Which is strange since she told me she is resentful of me and I remind her of her grandfather. Why would I initiate with someone who doesnt show me they love me or have any desire for me. I tried but I no longer love her and I don't desire her any longer. She commented on my weight loss, asking her how much more I wanted to lose, I told her another 20 pounds maybe. Then she said that I would look sick if I lost that much weight. She asked if there were any particular reason I wanted to lose weight. She also stated that I must despise her because she has no desire to lose weight. Then stated she had recently lost 13 pounds. She started to complain that I only talked about my boss, which is true because she is really the only person I speak to at work, besides Byron, but he is new. She doesn't seem to understand how isolated I am at work. She then started in on me about not helping around the house, which is funny because she has commented many times on how much I do, yet she always seems to forget it within a week or 2. She kept telling me how I never speak to her and I told her I cant because if I do I will just get in trouble because of my memory, then she proved me right by bitching at me because I ask questions about things she has told me. She also threw out a lot of excuses because she has been stressed and busy with college. She then asked if we could start over and I said yes. Why can't she ever start this shit when we are without the kids.
Today we went to church, then got some Little Caesars pizza. After lunch my wife went to the school to do some things. It is 9:00 pm as I write this and she has been gone for 8 hours. I bathed the kids, did the dishes, cooked the kids supper, and I did my laundry and put up 4 loads of laundry, 2 of which she had done but as usual she will not put up. I put up the childrens clothes from their luggage from Thanksgiving, one week later. I put up all the laundry except for my wifes. She still has clothes lying in the chair from over a month ago, and clothes lying in 2 piles on the bedroom floor that have been there for 3 months. I did some digging and found a conversation between my wife and MIL and SIL. My wife swept the hallway in Oct, the 1st time in a very long time, and posted the picture to a facebook messenger group the 3 of them are on. As usual MIL chimed in with why don't I help. My wife said because that would interfere with sitting on my but and playing video games. MIL then said its ridiculous because my wife works twice as hard as I do and I should help. My wife is lying to her MIL and either lying to herself or actually believes I don't do anything. She will find out eventually how much I do and dont do when she actually has to do all this shit herself. Also, I spent an hour or 2 outside trimming the trees away from the house, dead limbs, And then stacking them for bulk pickup. My wife just got home, I have the kids in bed and she gets mad because she now has to clean her desk because I am working from home tomorrow and she doesn't want me to touch her things. She then raised her voice at the state of the house because she is the only one that actually sees it, only one that cleans it, and the only one that doesn't have time to clean it. I haven't spent more than an hour today not working and she just belittled everything I did today.
Today didn't start out great. I am working from home today due to meetings and a dr appointment. I told my wife earlier in the week but she forgot and was upset that I didn't tell her. I had my dr appointment and then my meeting I couldn't miss. Afterwards, I started on dishes and supper. Wife and kids came home while I was doing that and the only person to come greet me was my ychild. My wife never came to say hello or see what I was doing, she didn't say thank you for cooking supper or what a great meal it was. In fact one of the first things she said to me was after I couldn't find the bbq sauce. She came into the kitchen, looked in the back at the top of the fridge and found it. I asked her where it was and she just looked at me and said somewhere I would have never found it. It was so dejecting and spiteful. After supper I finished the dishes and took out the trash while they were gone for church. Speaking of trash, every week i pick up the trash from my ochilds room. The vast majority of the trash is fast food drinks that my wife left on the side table when she sleeps there every night.
We have inlaws coming in for Christmas later this week. We had to pick-up groceries today and we are meeting up with SIL and BIL to look at Christmas lights, so I didn't have much time today to prepare. While my wife was gone to shop with her church friends I cleaned off the back porch and swept the front yard into a large pile for the kids to play in. I worked late doing so and barely managed to finish before she got back home before we left for the SIl’s. We were gone late and got back around midnight.
Had church this morning and ate lunch in town while running errands. After we got back my wife spent the rest of the day picking up and cleaning ychilds room. She ended up throwing away 3 garbage bags full of clothes and 5 large toys that were destroyed. While she was doing this I picked up the living room, did laundry, and put up 5 loads of laundry. Once again I refused to put up her laundry so instead I just moved it from there where it has been folded on the chairs since I folded then and put them there 4 months ago. I put them in her computer chair. Now she has those clothes plus the clothes in the laundry baskets on the bedroom floor that have been there for 8 months in a pile unfolded. I heard her enter the bedroom and make a comment about being happy that the chairs were clear until she realized I hadn't actually put up her laundry and just moved them. I then cooked supper but had to put up some groceries that she had gotten earlier and placed on the stove.
I woke up this morning to a question from my wife about a bag of treats that she said I put up from the kitchen table. I told her I hadn't seen them. She told me I shouldn't have put up the groceries the previous night and how I didn't put anything up from the table, just the groceries that were on the stove. She began to say she misspoke and meant the stove. She got angry and started to mock my answers. She was still angry and we got ready to leave for work. She started to walk past me out the door and I made kissy noises for a goodbye kiss. She got mad at me for that. We left for work and I got back in time to thaw something for supper. Around 5:50 she called me to tell me she was on the way home, which I thought was a little late but she had to stop at the store. I cooked sloppy joes for supper and the kids ate well. After supper I played a little bit on the computer with my ochild. I heard her looking for the kids special Christmas PJ’s for polar express day the next day at school. She was frantically looking for them and getting angry at me because I did the laundry last (haha like she has done it in a while) and didn't know where they were. I heard her in my ochilds room digging through his closet. I heard her ask him where they were and he said he didn't know daddy did the laundry last. She then said she knows “that's why shit gets lost.” It was very hurtful, disrespectful, and derogatory to say something like that, especially in front of my child and have him participate in the conversation. I helped look for them and found them under my ochilds pillows on his bed. There was no apology or any thankfulness when I found them. Later after I got the kids to bed my wife came and sat on her side of the couch using her phone and laptop. She muttered something about ‘that sounds about right.” I asked if she was talking to me and before I could finish “or was she talking to herself about a text” she answered me with a very angry look on her face and a very hurtful tone that “not everything is about you.” I was obviously very hurt by this so I got up to fill up on water and went to bed. She started to tell me it was a text from her mom about her dad but stopped talking when I was checking locks. She got irritated and refused to elaborate. I went to bed and refused to kiss her or tell her goodnight. This was not a very good day.
Christmas Eve. Wife and MIl went to town today for many hours, leaving me and my FIL home alone. I asked if he would be interested in 1883 since he had heard of it from one of his hands. He said yes and we started watching it. We were probably on episode 5-6 when they returned. I had checked several time if he wanted to keep watching it and he said yes. Wife and MIL returned around episode 6-7. SIL and BIl some over at about episode 7-8 and SIL asked him if he liked it. I didn't hear him but I was told he said it was fine, had a lot of action but sometimes felt like watching paint dry. After several more times of asking if he was ok watching the show he replied we went this far might as well watch it. MIL made several biting comments about wanting to watch something else. I find this funny because she never complains when he controls the TV at his house unless it is behind his back. She doesn't have the same limitations with me. I respected his wishes and continued to the end. After the show ended MIL cornered me in the hallway berating me for watching that show and trapping him all day watching it, saying that he didn't want to watch that show. I returned to the living room and asked him if he liked the show or was bothered by finishing the season. He said no and asked me why I asked. I said I just wanted to make sure.
Christmas day. After yesterday I was eager to finish this weekend but I am glad the kids had such a good time.
Today I had my 1st meeting with my new therapist. We went over some reasons why I was seeking a divorce and what/when to tell the kids. He did encourage me to speak to my wife about separating rather than filing prior like my lawyer suggested.
Tonight my wife confronted me about the use of towels to clean myself off after taking care of myself when I sleep alone. She mentioned how we hadn't had sex in 13 months. Which is hard to do when you are never alone together. I mentioned this and she talked about one time we had 4 days sleeping alone together when we took the kids to the inlaws a few months ago. I told her she didn't try anything either and I was tired of asking after being rejected for the past 7 years. We argued some more and eventually she got angry and started to leave. I then suggested that maybe we should discuss separating. She returned and asked me if that is what I wanted. I said yes and she got very angry and started yelling at me. She eventually left and went to sit on the couch for about 30 min. She eventually returned and we had a heart to heart. I told her all of the things that I was resentful about and she argued with me on every point. She seemed incredulous about splitting custody with the kids. Exclaiming how I wouldn't be able to afford living alone while paying child support. I asked for 50/50 saying did she just want me to become a weekend dad and she was upset at having to switch the kids every week. Eventually the kids woke up and came into the bedroom. She started talking in terms that my son could understand saying that everything is going to change and not for the good. My son can be very emotional and he started to cry. We couldn't get the kids to bed and eventually she lost it and started hitting herself in the head with a brush and then went to the bedroom door and started shaking it violently and I am not sure if she hit herself in the head with it. She left the room and I layed down with the kids to calm them. She eventually returned and we spoke amicably and she asked me to give us a chance and attend couples counseling. I agreed and she went to lay down with the kids.
I am so thankful I recorded it.
Today my wife spent the day with her sister and our kids at the zoo. She didn't get back until almost midnight and we didn't get a chance to talk. She went to sleep with the kids.
This morning my wife and I had a discussion. She admitted to almost everything that I said to her the other night. Saying that she was sorry and that she is going to try and not yell at me anymore or criticize me when I do the housework and it is not up to her standards. I am still skeptical but I am willing to see how things go.
Next Entry Jan 2023
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2023.05.31 23:59 quirkyactor The Best Parts

I gotta share with you how parts of this game made me feel, how somehow, Tears of the Kingdom never stopped surprising me, even now in the postgame as I clean up shrines.
But nothing compares to Find the Fifth Sage.
To me it's just the most heartbreaking, moving section of the game, combined with the seamless integration of sky, land, and depths, plus paying off a lot of the questions we had about Zonai areas in Breath of the Wild. It's fan service, it's deepening and advancing the current story, and it's a beautiful integration of gameplay, scope, and writing. Plus the MUSIC!
I remember exploring the ruins and following the river. I remember gasping when arriving at Dragonhead Isle and instead of a terrifying boss, it was...calm and sunny. Than the mask. The flight directly into Tobio's Hollow. Then down. Than the factory. The spirit temple.
I was pleasantly surprised to see the integrated aspect in the Lomei Labyrinths, my new favorite side quests.
Just...really special stuff.
submitted by quirkyactor to TOTK [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 23:58 Yolink_3 How long can a landlord hold your application fee and how long do they have to make a decision on your application ?

I’ve applied for a unit with one other applicant and we have a service animal. The person I originally applied with is no longer working in the leasing office and passed on the application to another coworker. When I originally applied, it was explained to me that it would take 4-5 business days. I originally applied on May 8, 2023. It is now May 31, 2023 and I still have not received an answer whether a decision was made or not. I have made numerous calls and wrote multiple emails to the leasing office asking if there was any other information they needed from me, and the lady who is helping me out, told me that, she has all the information she needs for the application. I have been very patient with the leasing office with this whole application process, but we are approaching 3 1/2 weeks to a month before a decision is made. I have called and tried to speak with the manager, but the person who answers the phone in the leasing office only takes messages for the manager. Whenever I leave my name and number for the manager to call me back, I never end up getting a call back. I currently live at a privately owned apartment building where I am moving out by the end of June. I have asked multiple people how long it usually takes to hear back and I was told that it usually takes a week at most. Also, to make it clear, both applicants backgrounds are clean, and we have more than quadruple, the monthly income requirement that they stated on the application. Am I entitled to get my money back for the application fee and also the background check fee because at this point, I think it’s time to look elsewhere.
submitted by Yolink_3 to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 23:58 kcto-oaxaca AITAH for not wanting to be around my in-laws anymore?

My GF and I have been together for 4 years, we just bought a house a year ago. Safe to say that neither of our moms (no dad on either side) reacted well to us being gay. Her mom took a "I don't want to lose you but I don't like your lifestyle" approach while mine turned from plain nasty to a incredibly supportive ally. It took two years for me to actually forgive her, my GF witnessed none of her nasty comments or actions because I made sure of it. I always noticed her mother's disgust when we visited her though, making sour faces when we held hands and twisting her mouth. I always wanted to stay someplace else maybe an airbnb when we visited but I knew it would be world War 3 between my GF and her family. We are Mexican visiting family and staying somewhere else is seen as a slap in the face.
When we bought the house my GF was overseas working so I took the job of house searching and I found a gem. Low price, great location but needed a lot of work. I was able to take out a housing loan from my job that covered 60% of the house (my GF covers each monthly payment but the house is on my name)and my GF asked her grandparents for a cash loan to cover the rest. Her mother medled so much in the process that the seller told me to please keep the negotiation between us. I took care of repairs, cleaning out weeds, bugs and mold, etc. However to her mom it was always her daughter's house not mine as she was the one paying both loans and to hurry up paying my loan to change the deed of the house to my GFs name. I don't care about money, I was okay with changing the name of the deed but it irked me so much that none of my efforts were even accepted. Alex(GF) and I have talked about wanting children and had asked her brother (26M) if he would be willing to donate. He has a 2 year old with his wife(23F), they have been together for two years now. He initially accepted but his wife went crying to their mom and well obviously that came to head when she told Alex and me that she didn't approve, that the children I would carry would not be Alex, that it was not natural. It obviously crushed us. Now Alex brother has told her that he is not so sure as he doesn't feel comfortable doing so. It crushed me, more so that even if I am not treated as an aunt by them I always take care of her niece when both parents don't feel up to the task, even carried books for her all over Europe, went hunting for the perfect necklace for her bautizm, etc each thing I do they just thank Alex. I don't want to be around that, not even her niece as they always comment on how it could be Alexs daughter because they look so much a like and it hurts so much. I just don't know how to handle this feeling. Family is very important to my GF and she has been such a sweetheart, I know it hurts her that I don't wish to interact with them anymore.
I wish to know if I'm being too emotional over this as I am not willing to be present on holidays or important events with them anymore, I know this puts my GF in a tight spot.
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2023.05.31 23:57 MEK42 [WANTED] Your record collection (or part of it) for my record shop in Portland, OR

Hey all. I run a record shop called Too Many Records in Portland, OR and we're actively looking to grab some collections of some fun used stuff. I figured I'd shoot my shot on as I've done a lot of buying and selling over the years here for my personal collection.
Long story short, if you are looking to offload your collection or a chunk of it, regardless of where you are (in the USA) I'll figure out how to get it. If you're close enough to me, we can figure out something in person. Otherwise, I have large distro boxes I can send you that you can fill up and send back my way.
Worth mentioning (although I'm sure most people understand this) - if I'm buying in bulk, I'll be buying below the actual value of the record that will allow me, over time, to make money after I clean/price/store them. If you're looking to get max value for a record I wouldn't recommend entertaining me, selling on here with your own post would be much more lucrative. This is more so for people who just want to see stuff gone as fast and easy as possible, and/or want to support a brick and mortar shop! That being said, I try to pay very fairly with my bulk rate and I'm not in the mindset of ripping anyone off, I always want people to feel happy when we close a deal.
Feel free to DM me if you're interested and I'd love to chat.

submitted by MEK42 to VinylCollectors [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 23:57 P0cketT0t I don't feel like myself anymore.

⚠️Quick trigger warning: mention of self harm and depression ⚠️
I haven't been feeling like myself for the last couple of weeks. I don't look at myself in mirror anymore, I will literally walk straight to the shower and avoid the bathroom mirror. I don't take selfies anymore. I don't want to have sex a lot of the time anymore because I don't want my husband to see me naked anymore, it has gotten to the point where if i even see myself naked next to him i sink into a depression the rest of the night. I drink more, when I used to not drink at all.
I play with my kids all day and cook and clean then go to work from 4pm to 12 am. My husband wants to take me out more but I don't want to be seen by people, I leave going to the park to my husband and use that time to clean the house, when in reality I just don't want to be seen by people. I've been self harming more lately (cutting) I have tons of scars on my thighs now and try to hide them.
I yell and put myself down more. I feel like I do everything and nothing at the same time. I feel like I'm the disposable parent, the one that doesn't really need to be there, because my kids get more excited to see my husband than they do me. I'm tired and want to be left a lone most days. I love my husband and my kids. But I've not been myself lately and I'm worried of the affects it'll have on my family.
I work out when I can to try and lose weight, but I only have about 30 minutes every day i also have been portioning my food better. I have lost 10lbs in 2 months but it's not good enough. My husband has lost 12lbs and all he has done was eat less. I used to be so confident and now all that confidence is gone. I'm not sure what happened. How do I get it back? Does it ever come back?
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2023.05.31 23:55 BurningAbyss2023 With what % of my RM should I do an exercise?

Hi everyone, Little by little I am beginning to introduce myself more to weight lifting, clean, jeark and snatch because my trainers have taught me when I was doing physical preparation for boxing.
Now I'm wanting to start a little more seriously in this sport or for crossfit, so I ask my trainer that I put on some accessory weight lifting exercises to improve, what I don't know is how much I should handle and I don't know on the basis either. to what.
I don't remember where I read that your clean is like 80% of your squat and I don't know how much % of your military press, etc... Does anyone have a table to have a guide?
Of course I know that this table is not the reality for everyone, because each one is more or less strong, etc. But I want to have some guide to know where to start.
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2023.05.31 23:55 Boredandtiredbroke My friends have become unruly. They are are harassing my neighbors.

I live in an apartment, I just let them live in my apartment now. I got them to stop eating my shit and give them eat scraps instead(veggies). Took a lot of work to get them stop them shitting on my carpet but my scolding of them and constant "cleaning" of the carpet has subsided.
Anyways, they see my hatred of the dogs constantly barking, waking me from my sleep and especially when my smoke, they started dive bombing the neighbors walking their dogs. Vibe sorta became a parriah to the locals and have been directly contacted and confronted by the Corp that runs the place. I've scolded them but they seem to feel my anger against my neighbors and the maintenance that piss me off.
While I enjoy their loyalty and care about me, this shit can get me ejected from my apartment.
Yes I live with crows inside my apartment, think it's two murders that formed into one but I'm ignorant how their behavior is. Bi guesstimate probably 20-30. Bi only know Fred as he rides and sits on my shoulder when I go for my walks.
Obviously they don't speak English but I'm trying so hard at this point trying to telling them to behave. Obviously human standards are foreign to my murder(s).
Sorry to rant but this is sorta esscalationg
submitted by Boredandtiredbroke to crows [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 23:55 Illustrious_Yam_5820 My rebuttal to "blocking gives them too much power". PRO BLOCKING POST

Love is not about power. When I gave to my ex, it was to give and not to receive back. There was no power struggle in my mind. I loved him fully and gave it a good faith go with full generosity of heart.
The ex has all the "power" the instant they dump you. Whether they look at you with pity, disgust, or disinterest, there's nothing you can magically do to make them "respect" your "power". Sure, no melting down is always appreciated but let me be apparently the first to tell you the person who dumped you and walked away doesn't care about how you appear especially in relation to them. Trying to be a stone cold robot who is completely unaffected and unbothered is inauthentic unless you LITERALLY don't care at all about your ex (in which case why were you in relationship with someone you didn't even care about).
Staring at your phone hoping for a call on your birthday, an apology, a text, the constant anxiety with notifications and ringtones. The letdown realizing not only did they dump you but they are DEFINITELY not trying to contact your sorry arse.
Even if you ARE moving on, healthy and indifferent, look at all the people on here who say "I was doing great for weeks/months/YEARS and then my ex texted me a long apology asking to meet up, wishing happy holidays missing me, now I am a disheveled mess, I never expected to feel this way WHAT DO I DO".
THAT is giving your ex too much power. And if you TRULY ARE unbothered and indifferent -why do you care what they think of you blocking them? You literally JUST said you are indifferent. Indifferent means I truly don't care about what he's doing, including whether or not he's trying to text me, what he "might think" about me blocking him (plot twist, the person who dumped you weeks or months or years ago definitely isn't checking in on you thinking about you daily, if they were they wouldn't have dumped you). If you're TRULY indifferent and unbothered and moved on and "empowered", why can't you live your life free of fear what he/she will perceive about YOUR actions? Oh you moved on so you want to allow every possible avenue for this person to pop up later?
That's like saying my neighbor Deb is always letting her dog poop in my yard and not cleaning up after it. I am indifferent about the dog, so I'm just not going to put up a fence around my yard.
You aren't proving anything to anyone and you're lying to yourself, unless of course you truly are a person who was only ever interested in power and image rather than true, humbling, real love.
Come, go, stay, leave? No- I have boundaries. And I'm allowed to have boundaries. Not everything is about your ex. So many of you/us spend the entire relationship thinking about what he or she thinks, feels, wants, needs. Do something for yourself for a change.
Why do you feel like you're doing a shameful thing blocking someone who walked out on you or possibly treated you like a dog (not my dog, she lives like royalty)? You're allowed to "walk out" on them too. If it's an emergency, they can call 911. You are not a therapist, support line, free prostitute delivery service, mother, father, sugar daddy. You are allowed to block. The ex will probably respect you more for having boundaries rather than being a person who's like "don't worry! I don't have any feelings! Do whatever you want to me, I'll just be here! I'll give you attention if you want it because your messages make my phone ping! I don't care about myself or my time!"
submitted by Illustrious_Yam_5820 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 23:53 kr13g1ng Ruining relationships because of doubt

So as a start, I have a mixture of BPD and Asperger's, along with extreme paranoia because of being taken advantage of by people I've been with in the past many years because I'm too desperate (so I'm just a mixture of all kinds of damaged)
I keep having the consistent issue of doubting that my partner really loves me, they barely give me attention throughout the day unless I message them first, and I feel like I have to beg for attention to get any back (it is an online relationship, but the online part never bothered me nor is the issue), and with previous relationships, even the most attentive person gets frustrated because I'm too hateful towards myself and always think they secretly don't want to be with me, ruining the relationship slowly by making them feel like I'm guilt tripping them all the time because I tell them how I feel. Feel like the relationship won't last much longer because they'll just snap and throw me away.
I got yelled at by a previous partner because I got upset that they told me that they were cheating on me, and they made it feel like it's all my fault, and even though I know it's not, my mind also tells me that if I was a more worthy partner they wouldn't have cheated in the first place, and she made me feel that way purposefully. I ruined it just because she got more and more mad and frustrated with me because I doubted that she loved me, when she wouldn't show proof otherwise, and drove her away. I've been in about 25 relationships now and I seem to drive everyone away because I'm too depressing and they don't want to help me or even be with me. The mixture of having BPD, Asperger's, and potent paranoia makes me so hard to be with because people can't handle the amount of attention I need, but all I ask is for them to give me their free time ONLY, I don't give a care in the world if they're busy with things like work, but I need their free time, but I've yet to find someone willing to, I'm very very loving and overly affectionate, but I never get the amount I give, not even close. Makes me think that the best person to date would be someone exactly like me.
Wish there was a way to forget everything that's ever happened to me, start a clean slate, I can't stop thinking about one person, it drives me crazy that I miss her so much even though she mistreated me! Every day all I think about is how I lost that one person, and I won't ever get them back, I actually lose sense of my surroundings when I think of her and I feel like I'm losing my mind.
I think I made this post too long, and already regret even saying anything (probably should've wrote in a journal or something), but I felt like trying to ask if anyone had any kind of advice on how to handle this level of just, everything. Even taking some kind of medicine to help wouldn't bother me if I had to. Too scared to get professional help because then I feel like I'm bothering the therapist by wasting their time. I guess I just needed to vent? (Was going to delete this, but decided I'll post anyway and deal with whatever consequences happen after, don't have much to lose 😒)
submitted by kr13g1ng to BorderlinePDisorder [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 23:53 Silver_Sentence2557 AITA - I feel sort of upset at how boyfriend (M20) manages time and priorities.

AITA for getting a bit upset that this is how he chooses to manage his time daily?
Tldr: Boyfriend goes to moms, then gym and comes home around 9:30-10 every day. We cohabit. He pays all the bills at home except grocery. I take care of chores, groceries and our dogs. Haven’t brought it up yet but intend to once I do better with my own responsibilities at home.
Long story:
Is it bad that I feel a little bit upset that my boyfriend chooses to go to his moms house for like 2 hours a day after work then goes to the gym and comes back home around 9/10 Monday-Friday? I have no problem that he wants to go see his mom and wants to go to the gym.
I guess I feel a bit bothered that instead of coming home and taking care of our dogs (I work 4pm-930pm and he works 8am-430pm) or doin any house work he’d rather go to his moms to eat dinner for about an hour or two (usually wat I pack for him through the day) then goes to the gym for another hour or two then comes home, I feed him dinner, shower, give him sex then he goes to bed and repeat. Before y’all assume we sit down and eat together and spend a little time together.
I know I’m not perfect at taking care of the house. I work 5 hours a day Monday-Friday and make like 5-10$ less than him while he works like 8 1/2 - 9 shifts in construction Monday-Friday.
I appreciate that he he takes care of all the bills but it also feels sorta unfair that he’s able to just do whatever everyday instead of coming home while I’m at home everyday taking care of our two dogs, mostly managing our IG account, food prep, cooking, cleaning and laundry. I don’t think he doesn’t deserve to do stuff he enjoys but I feel like our home/family should be the priority idk. I wake up in the mornings with him to help him get his day started and try to go bed around the same time but i usually up sleeping later bc the insomnia but I still wake up at 6:30/7 am with him. I get stuff done during the day, come home around 9:30/10pm depending if I need to stop anywhere first. Go to bed around 12-3 usually.
I know I’m struggling to adjust to these responsibilities and I’m so far from perfect. I have little to no drive a lot of days so it’s hard to always be productive and not tired (depression and insomnia). Is it wrong for me to feel sort of upset at the way he’s managing his time and priorities. I’m not gonna act like I’m perfect and get everything done but still I’m trying to do better. I’ve actively chosen not to say anything YET because I don’t want to start a fight and he flips it on me somehow saying I don’t do anything whatever but when I approach him it will be when I am doing a better job at maintaining our home. Also for context he actually just returned to work so he’s been working for the past two weeks.
submitted by Silver_Sentence2557 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 23:51 tiredpiratess Intersection of GH and PTO?

If you give, say, 30 GH per week and the nanny uses PTO or sick leave in that week, how does that work?
Example 1: 30 GH/ week, nanny takes 1 week off. She gets paid for 30 hours, yes?
Example 2: 30 GH/ week, nanny takes Monday off, nanny works 26 hours T-F. We still just pay her 30 hours? Or do we pay her 32 hours because most work days are 6 hours?
I guess example 2 could also cover things like (paid) federal holidays, etc.
Trying to clean up an offer letter and want to make sure I have accounted for everything.
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2023.05.31 23:51 invalid333 Boyfriend (29m) lied about having kids…

I (22f) have been dating him only for a month, but we got serious rather quickly. We talked quite a bit about it since he ‘came clean’. There was one time that his online gaming buddy let it slip that he had kids but I just thought it was an inside joke or something like I didn’t hear him correctly. After than I asked him directly if he had kids and he said no. Come last night on my way down to see him he texts me that he lied about something, he was sorry, and that in the moment he panicked.
I just do know how I feel, kids are not at all a dealbreaker for me in this relationship.
Q’s: -yes he pays the baby mama full child support -yes he sees them every three months as he is on the road for work -I’ve seen pictures -he knows what he did (lying about them) is wrong -he didn’t tell me on the first date (or soon thereafter) because he didn’t want me to walk away and also he is protective of them
Pretty much idk how I feel. I feel a little betrayed yet if I was in this situation I don’t think I would have told someone about my kids until I knew I wanted a more serious relationship with that person, but at the same time I straight up asked and he lied.
TLDR: Bf of one month lied abt having kids, feels bad, idk how to feel.
submitted by invalid333 to relationships [link] [comments]