Spankingtube

Throwaway since I have friends who know my normal username
I've always been into spanking, and my fiance says she enjoys getting spanked but part of me thinks she's just being nice. She doesn't know how much I'm into it though. I've always wanted to spank someone super hard, kind of like this - https://www.spankingtube.com/video/74947/daddy-watches-her-get-spanked-pov-f-f-spanking
I never want to hurt my fiance or make her cry like in the video, and I never want to put her in the position of forcing herself to be spanked just for my enjoyment. Part of me wants to ask her if she would be okay with exploring hard spankings together but I'm worried she will think I am crazy for even wanting to spank her that hard. Idk am I crazy?

http://www.spankingtube.com/video/17398/new-paddle-test

One time I forgot to clear my history on my computer and my dad discovered that I had been hanging out on spankingtube. That was an awkward conversation mostly because he kept laughing as he asked me about it.