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2009.01.05 04:55 Alabama
2010.04.28 02:48 transcendhate Cross Stitch
Cross stitch community - patterns, discussions, and competitions!
2009.09.06 20:48 ksan Evangelion
God's in his heaven. All's right with the world.
2023.06.01 00:38 ApprehensiveAngle352 [18F] looking for a casual [relationship]?
Hey there! I’m (I’ll tell you my real name in dms as to avoid the rare chance of one of my friends finding this). I’m an 18 year old girl from the states, south New Jersey specifically. I’m bi so if you’re a girl or boy it doesn’t matter.
I’m not looking for anything serious at the moment. Just someone to get to know. If you fit any of these standards feel free to message me:
- I’m quite mature for my age, and I like someone with similar maturity. -I’m not interested in anyone over 20, or anyone under 16, so please keep scrolling if you are either of those things. -I’m a sucker for dark hair and eyes though this isn’t a must. -you must introduce yourself in your message to me. Please don’t waste my time as I will not respond to just a “hey”.
A bit about me, I love 80s rock, cars (I do model cars), I draw, and love video games. I have one Helluva sense of humor (in my opinion), and am a quite sarcastic individual (though I can be serious if need be) I’m also starting a band. As far as looks, I’m 5’2 (and a half 😡), about 155 lbs (though I’m currently on a weigh loss journey), I have gray/blue eyes and long-ish light blonde hair. My style’s kinda tomboy-ish, so that’s pretty cool.
If you made it to the end, congratulations, you get a cookie. Please put the word “vanilla” somewhere in your post so I know you read the whole thing. And say something that will catch my attention. If I find you interesting I’ll reply.
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ApprehensiveAngle352 to
MeetPeople [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 00:37 Less_Ant_6633 Surplus steel tube from a gov. auction, located in Arizona...
2023.06.01 00:33 irish-riviera Vermont BANS The Well Regulated Militia, Necessary To The Security Of A Free State, I know this has already been posted but is anyone aware of any lawsuits being filed yet?
submitted by irish-riviera to VTGuns [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 00:31 Theblueguardien Discussion about LP (small amount of maths)
I've started playing ranked more seriously to get to plat with a friend of mine.
The issue here is, that we two currently have a 75% win rate over 16 games, which is pretty good in my opinion and I am usually playing well no matter if we win or lose. Yet my LP gains are kinda screwed. If my (probably false) calculations are correct:
All the following assumes that LP gain will not decrease further, which is unrealistic obviously.
-26LP on loss, +20 on win
=>26/20 = 1.3
=> Win 1.3 * as many games as losses
=> 65% Wr to stay even in LP
Also, an average league game let's say lasts about 25 minutes. This means with a 100% win rate and +20LP on win, you need about 5 games per division. Times four divisions mean 20 games to rank up one rank.
=> On 100% win rate it takes 20 games or 8.3h game length for one rank
You'd still have to add loading time, queue time and champ select time with dodges on top of that of course. And that is if you never lose a single game.
Now let's assume a 75% win rate as we have so far, which means we lose 1/4 games.
So, win 3 games => gain 60LP, lose one => 34 LP, win 3 more => 94LP, lose one => 68LP, win 3 more => Division up!
This times 4 divisions again => 11/division * 4 = 44 games to rank up * 25 minutes = 18.3h ingame time with a 75% win rate, which is also unrealistically high to maintain.
With decreasing win rate this of course scales up exponentially (again feel free to do the math, I won't be bothered to do so right now). Considering some games might be a lot longer, or 10 minutes shorter I'd say my estimate is on the lower side of possible game length.
That's kind of scuffed is it not? (Feel free to check the math)
My proposal should be that you should only have to have a 55% win rate at any time to stay even, anything higher doesn't feel right.
In this example: +20LP on win => -22LP on loss
This would seem a lot more fair and respectful of your time to me.
Yes, we are currently outperforming that, but LP gains will only get worse as I rank up. When we reach plat, which I'm confident we will, I don't see us staying there long / ranking up further when we probably have to have a 70% wr or sth...
Is there anything that can be done about this?
https://www.op.gg/summoners/euw/FloatyBoi https://euw.whatismymmr.com/FloatyBoi submitted by
Theblueguardien to
leagueoflegends [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 00:31 sqt1388 MURP or Ms in Engineer Management?
I recently graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Urban Planning, and my university has a dual program where I could start my Master's in Urban and Regional Planning (MURP) while completing my Bachelor's (BURP). Basically, I could use my MURP classes as electives for my BURP degree.
But here's the thing: I'm starting to realize that my Master's program feels a lot like my undergrad. The professor who wrote my recommendation letter warned me about this. They said it's a great program and I'll do well, but unless it's free, I shouldn't do my Master at the same University because it would feel repetitive. I went ahead with it because my job covers the tuition, but turns out the professor was right. Thankfully I’m only a semester in so still room to pivot and it not be that painful.
A coworker of mine, we work at our home state DOT, told me about this online Master's program in Engineering Management at a State University. You don't need a Bachelor's in Civil Engineering to get in, and it's covered by our work tuition program. But here's the catch: I'm a planner, not an engineer. I'm not sure if this would be beneficial for me, except maybe to diversify my skills/ resume and help even the field if I want to move into a higher-level management position at the DOT (historically our upper management had been exclusively Engineers but recently they have removed a degree in engineering as a requirement for our planning department and a few others that are not heavy engineering). But who knows? I might not stay at the DOT forever, so would it be better to just stick with my MURP?
I really value your input, guys. You've been a great sounding board for these ideas.
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sqt1388 to
urbanplanning [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 00:29 e__elll My boss keeps interrupting my lunch break.
In my state (California), employees are entitled to a 30 minute uninterrupted lunch break, and if it interrupted for even a minute for any work-related reason, the employer must pay the employee an one extra hour of wages called “premium pay.”
However at my job, our lunch breaks are paid, and oftentimes, our food too. Which is why even though my boss constantly interrupts my lunch for work issues, I helplessly feel as if my boss owns my time.
Yesterday was the defining incident. I was 15 minutes into eating before I was pulled out of the kitchen by my annoyed employer to deal with a client’s meltdown in our lobby. Then we were bombarded by calls, so I had no choice but to stay and help my coworkers.
It was a while before I could go back to the kitchen and resume eating, but my employer just had to pass by while I’m eating and remind me again “I needed to be out front the minute something happens.”
I’m not sure if I should quit due to the stress. I feel like I should be grateful to work in a place with paid breaks and free lunches, and understand that with busy jobs, employees are expected to “take one for the team.”
What should I do or how should I think? Should I quit, bring up premium pay, or should I suck it up considering the circumstances?
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e__elll to
Advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 00:29 fredzvinyl Ideas for very VERY small wedding ceremony?
I need ideas about where to get married and then take photos in or around Boston that’s reachable via the T. It’s literally going to be a 5-person thing (us, a parent, a friend and a photographer).
We will eventually have a whole reception out of state. So I’m wanting very cheap or free options where we could get like 30-45 mins of no one bugging us. Ideally those places would also be a nice backdrop to the photos.
What do you think?
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fredzvinyl to
boston [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 00:29 Peanutbuttered Killing off Reddit Apps, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Back when I was a teenager, I created
/whatcouldgowrong - a lighthearted GIF-sharing subreddit that illustrates why a dumb idea will lead to a dumb consequence. It was made after seeing a funny GIF of a man hopping into a shopping cart and rolling down a hill only to tumble in the way we all knew was coming. This page has been around for 10 years, and we have seen a lot of changes take place on the site which impact the quality of service for users and moderators - some good, some bad. Reddit's latest corporate decision is metaphorically the equivalent of hopping into a shopping cart and drifting down a steep hill - and therefore deserves to be stickied at the top of the sub.
With the help of some dedicated moderators, we grew this page to 7.5 million subscribers with a quarter of a billion page views per year. Contrary to how the page began (in which there wasn't much upkeep to do), to manage a page of this size requires good moderation tools - tools that allow moderators to quickly and efficiently sort and filter posts.
Many of the best tools for moderating that we have found comes in the form of third-party apps (not created by Reddit). My personal choice is Apollo by Christian Selig, on which you might be reading this post right now. However, Reddit's decision to raise the price for access to its API means that third-party apps might need to pay millions of dollars to Reddit or shut down. Reddit's decision to raise the price for access to its API also means that some of the best tools moderators have to keep content appropriate for each subreddit will no longer exist - which will not only impact moderators but the experience of Reddit's users.
For those who don't know, Reddit moderators do not receive income or monetization from subreddits they create or the views they provide - this is a voluntary position. For larger subreddits, this means that the task of filtering rule-breaking posts, banning spammers, and also ensuring NSFW content doesn't show up on your phone when you're at work, is about to become much more difficult for us to do. What takes 3 seconds to do in Apollo takes 30 seconds to do in Reddit's official app.
I imagine moderators will not be increasing the time they spend moderating by 10x. Additionally, the plethora of 10/10-level abusive messages that moderators receive for doing their job (
even on a lighthearted and noncontroversial sub such as this one) certainly makes spending 10 times the amount of time moderating not worth it for many - but this is besides the point.
As stated by Apollo developer:
Why is the pricing so high? It would cost me a comical $20 million dollars a year to keep my app running as-is, an app that like many third-party apps, have many moderators that depend on it.
I'm not sure if you understand how important third party apps are to the Reddit ecosystem. Not only do they provide an opportunity for folks who don't like the official app to be able to still use Reddit on-the-go, but many of the moderators who serve as the backbone of the entire site rely on third-party apps to do their job.
As a number, Apollo currently has over 7000 moderators of subreddits with over 20K subscribers who use Apollo, from Pics, to AskReddit, to Apple, to IAmA, etc. It would be easy to imagine that combined with other third-party apps across iOS and Android that well over 10,000 of the top subreddits use third-party apps to moderate and keep their community operating.
This is equivalent to going to a construction site and taking away all the workers' favorite tools, only to replace them with different, corporate-mandated ones. Except the construction workers are also building your houses for free.
Why infuriate so many people and communities?
-iamthatis
If you are a Reddit user or moderator that will be impacted by third-party apps shutting down, please share your opinion on how the experience of using Reddit and moderating Reddit will change for you in light of these recent developments.
Hopefully, Reddit reverses its idea because I am not sure many posts on
/whatcouldgowrong can top it.
Related articles:
MacRumors Android Authority TechCrunch 9to5Mac
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Peanutbuttered to
Whatcouldgowrong [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 00:29 Conciliation Overwatch 2 offers no incentive for new players to continue playing.
My observations are shaped by my longstanding experience with Overwatch 1, my enthusiastic entry into Overwatch 2, recent game sessions with friends new to Overwatch 2, and my own endeavor to create a fresh account, culminating in fifty Quick Play victories.
I devoted over 1000 hours to the original Overwatch, falling for the game with a kind of aimless passion. When Overwatch 2 was announced, I found myself defending Blizzard, making sense of the complex delay in PvE and the essential rollout of PvP.
I engaged heavily with the betas as they became available, and since the official launch, I've completed each Overwatch 2 Battlepass.
I was also an Apex Legends player at one point, logging a few hundred hours between Season 0 and Season 6, although my recent activity has dwindled.
Starting Apex Legends, it seemed they'd borrowed substantially from Overwatch. However, one stark difference was the challenge of acquiring skins, a noticeably slower contrast to Overwatch.
Apex did offer lootboxes, akin to Overwatch, but at a drastically reduced frequency. This fact amplified my appreciation for Overwatch, where you were rewarded frequently and could amass hundreds, even thousands of loot boxes, without spending a cent.
Over the years, I did spend between $100-$200 on Overwatch, never feeling compelled to purchase lootboxes like I did in Apex Legends for a shot at skins or other customizations. Instead, I did it because I was happy with the game, and felt good about spending some money on it a few different times.
However, Overwatch 2 deviates from this system.
I struggle to see why a new player would enjoy the Overwatch 2 experience.
This realization dawned on me following comments from my friend, a hardcore Apex Legends player who initially enjoyed the gameplay of Overwatch 2. But eventually, he questioned the point of playing the game, outside of our group sessions, as he felt he'd made zero progress and had received next to nothing despite investing over 50 hours.
He found Apex Legends, despite its less frequent lootboxes, incredibly more rewarding than Overwatch 2. The complete opposite of my initial opinion, on the release of Apex Legends.
Testing his perspective, I created a new account and played until I had 50 Quick Play wins. The result? Not a single intriguing cosmetic item, nor enough credits to purchase more than a few voice lines for my main played characters.
The hero progression of unlocking heroes that were originally free, felt satisfying initially, until I unlocked about 65% of the cast, at which point it became painfully slow.
The elements that made Overwatch enjoyable beyond the gameplay are absent in Overwatch 2. I am at a loss to understand how a newcomer could find this game appealing unless their friends are playing.
In my view, Overwatch should be more generous with its cosmetics, considering its larger collection compared to Apex Legends. I don't demand the latest $25 items from lootboxes, but I do believe the original Overwatch 1 skins and voice lines should be more easily accessible.
Overwatch 2 currently struggles with its player relationships. If the expectations of the players are not being met and they're further required to invest in microtransactions, the game should at least ensure the passive elements are enjoyable enough to retain new players.
Half of the uniqueness in this game comes from voiceline interactions. These small things, like the ability to drop a funny or interactive voiceline, elevate the gaming experience.
Why not reintroduce lootboxes, without the option to purchase them with real money? Or increase the rate of earning Overwatch credits that can't be spent on "Premium" items? The few hundred credits I earned from 75 games (50 Wins) equated to less than two Overwatch 1 loot boxes, whereas I would have likely accumulated around 30 by then.
The new player experience is a disappointment. I won't attempt to introduce new players to this game until a more engaging system is in place, as the current state is frankly disheartening.
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Conciliation to
Overwatch [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 00:28 Arbgarry Kawasaki er5 fuel tap (petcock)
Typical Kawasaki fuel tap, seals went bad, carbs were fully stripped and rebuilt 3 weeks ago, so float valve held back the free flowing petrol from a full tank, this forced fuel up the vacuum pipe to the main carb, letting fuel in to cylinder 2 and the air box, thus hydro locking the engine, also put 5 litres of fuel in the crankcase, all fluieds now drained, flushed multiple times and bike runs fine from an external tank.
My question, my mate took the fuel tap off the bike, and fully disassembled it, I've a fair idea how it goes back together, but the diaphragm is confusing me, diaphragm has 2 rubber parts, separated with a metal connector, im guessing the plastic part that goes in the same side, goes in-between the rubber? Then the spring goes in to push on the flat side of the metal connector?
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Arbgarry to
motorcycles [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 00:26 Upstairs_Living_3102 SafePepe: The Next Moonshot, Missed PEPE? Here's Your Second Chance! Fair Launch, Safety-Centric, Rewarding, and Primed for Lift-off!
Attention crypto voyagers! If you looked on with regret as the PEPE rocket left for the moon, brace yourself for a second chance! Presenting SafePepe - a revolution in the DeFi galaxy, centered around safety, rewards, and fair launch!
https://linktr.ee/safepepe In the tempestuous waters of crypto, SafePepe is a beacon of safety. Each holder reaps a generous 2% BUSD reward on every transaction that rolls across the network. All you have to do is hold SafePepe in your wallet, and watch as your balance inflates! And for those weary of rug pulls, rest easy. SafePepe has locked liquidity, reinforcing the safety barriers around your investment.
Launched on the principles of fairness and transparency, SafePepe is currently sitting pretty at a 20k market cap. However, this token is not just primed, it's ready for an exponential ascent. With a solid foundation and a robust plan, SafePepe is all geared up to follow in the footsteps of its predecessor, PEPE, and embark on a moonshot journey.
The excitement doesn't stop there! As we make our grand appearance on CoinMarketCap (CMC), we're set to renounce ownership, catapulting SafePepe into the realm of true decentralization. This is a token that belongs to the community, run by the community. The decision to renounce ownership symbolizes our commitment to create a truly decentralized, transparent, and community-driven platform.
As we take our position on the CMC stage, we're also dropping all transaction taxes to an absolute 0%. This is a huge step in creating a seamless, friction-free trading experience for all SafePepe holders. The focus is to keep it simple and rewarding for you, the backbone of SafePepe.
So, don't sit on the sidelines and watch this spaceship take off without you. Secure your seat on the SafePepe rocket! We're not just another token in the market, we're a project with a vision - to redefine the norms of DeFi, ensure safety, and reward our community. The countdown has begun - SafePepe is set to soar. Will you be on board?
Remember, as always, to do your own research. But keep SafePepe on your radar – it's your golden ticket to a safe, rewarding, and untaxed journey through the crypto cosmos!
submitted by
Upstairs_Living_3102 to
CryptoMars [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 00:25 Thistastesboggin Thursday 1st June - Fiver Feed : Five things to do today in Glasgow for around a Fiver or FREE!
Thursday 1st June - Fiver Feed : Five things to do today in Glasgow for around a Fiver or FREE!
Instagram
here for extra stuff and things, come join the fun! (Disclaimer - may not actually be any fun)
Shoutout for
Glasgow Science Festival 1st - 11th June, 100's of activities, most are free!
- Zines - Ahhhh May Zine Fair - £Free (Ticketed)
- A fair for the unvanquished and the tireless; artists who engage in the radical act of DIY publishing give platforms to the never-ready-for-prime-time voices. Browse and buy zines from SPAM Press, From Glasgow To Saturn, Set The Zine and more.
- 13:00 - 15:00 Dining Hall @ Glasgow University Union 32 University Avenue G12 8LX
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- Night Market - Summer Bonanza - £6 for 2/£3.50/£3/£2 (Booking Required)
- A glittering late-night emporium bringing the very best local traders to make one homegrown extravaganza!
- 17:30 - 22:30 Cottiers 93-95 Hyndland St G11 5PU
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- Talk - The Govan Heritage Dialogues - £Free
- Conserving the Built Heritage in the Public Interest. Led by David Robertson. The major refurbishment of Govan Old church requires reflection on the conservation strategies followed on similar historic buildings in Glasgow.
- 18:30 - 21:00 Govan Old Parish Church 866 Govan Rd Govan G51 3UU
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- Gig - Electric Honey Presents The 30th Anniversary Showcase - £Five£6 On the Door
- Student run Electric Honey Records, once home of Belle & Sebastian, Snow Patrol and Biffy Clyro, present their annual showcase featuring live sets from Scunnurt, Land of Rubber Men, Wine Moms and Sophie Gibson.
- 18:30 - 22:30 Stereo 22 Renfield Ln G2 5AR
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- Poetry/Pride - Versaye Pride Edition! - £Free
- Featuring a whole host of talent (queer only) including featured poets Michael Mullen & Anna Secret Poet, an LGBT History Quiz and a singalong!
- 20:25 - 22:15 Set Cafe Bar Tron Theatre 25 Chisholm St G1 5HB
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2023.06.01 00:24 Reptani Pray the Conquistadores, Ch. 13: Broken Puppet
First Previous Next
Hold fast to dreams For if dreams die Life is a broken-winged bird That cannot fly. — Langston Hughes
Catalogue Description Self-Monitoring Behavioural Management Report: Casimir Szymański, Scazim Institute of Science and Technology - English Translation Date: 15 Summer-2 3429 (Standard Parimthian Calendar) November 23rd, 2162 (Gregorian Calendar) Held by: The UK National Archives, Kew Legal status: Public Record(s) My father worshipped a fabricated, pagan prophet.
The Senghavi of the Parimthian Empire are principally joined under the ditheistic religion called Siedi, which I do not subscribe to. Of course, the Senghavi's literature, art, and faith flooded the whole of Earth upon their arrival a century ago. From this ocean of civilised culture, my degenerate species drew a sample, claimed it as our own, and polluted it with a distorted, appropriated, dumbed-down doctrine.
The central figure in this corrupt sample of Siedi was a man whom my father called Jesus Christ. He was said to have offered himself as a sacrifice that could be made to a single God. It was a final sacrifice, one beyond lambs or cattle or people. One that would atone for humanity's sins, so that we could have the free choice between the eternal presence of God and the eternal absence of "Him."
My father dressed himself in black, with a standing collar whose white fabric was exposed at the centre. That much, I could recall. He preached to hopeful humans in what was called a
church, though I did not know what he was preaching. At the very least, my childhood is fuzzy in that regard.
The pain that throbbed through my skull, after the blonde savage had slammed my head against the ridges of the airlock, faded into the background. I could not focus; perhaps, I thought, one of their improvised explosives had gone off by accident. There was blue Senghavi blood staining my dress shirt. The rush of air escaping into vacuum pierced my ears.
Perhaps it was thirst of water, which binds most sapient beings—the Sons of Liberty had reached an agreement with the Colonial Defence Force to allow spacecraft delivering food, water, and medical aid, only to unleash the anti-collision lasers of this cursed spaceliner upon those very ships.
Or perhaps it was the explosion, as I initially thought, an inadvertent complication which had wrought injury and death over my countrymen, and which had forced the terrorist savages to attempt to patch up the many hull breaches left by debris.
Or perhaps it was simply the stress of betraying, in my desperate efforts to save everyone from this senseless violence, the greatest secret of the Senghavi Terrans: our antimatter research. Word of it had likely been forwarded already, hundreds of light-years away, to that pink-hued marble which was Parimth itself.
Or perhaps it was all three; thirst, explosion, and stress. In any case, my mind shut it all out, and something lost from my childhood flashed before me:
We're standing on the cracked street of the Vennec Human Reservation. In the distance, the Senghavi's white, glassy spires reach above the clouds, their accents of luminescence dim in the broad daylight. I hold a ball in my palm. It's wrapped in white leather held together with red stitching. I toss it to Dad. Instead of his clerical uniform, he wears the normal "T-shirt" and "cargo shorts." Along with the clerical getup, they are just two of the many sorts of clothing which the Senghavi have invented for humanity. I toss the ball to Dad, and he swings a primitive wooden bat. The ball goes soaring, further than he meant to. He jogs down the road to retrieve it, then gives me the wooden bat. The breeze ruffles his hair just as he ruffles mine with his hand. "Now, you try," he says. "It's just practice, that's all." For some reason, he lifts one leg in the air, then pitches the ball to me. I swing. The impact of the ball shakes through the wood, and it goes careening off to the left. "I did it!" I yell. "But it went out of bounds." "Heyyyy, that's not bad," Dad says with a reassuring voice. "Good job, just try to go a little more right next time." Mom comes out onto the front porch, the breeze ruffling her dress as she waves to Dad. "Dinner's ready, and Mom's pie is... almost ready." I stare blankly at her until I realise that she is talking about her Mom, Grandma, who is the best at making pumpkin pie. "The pie!" I shout, running and jumping to the front door. "I totally forgot about that!" I am ready to speed my way through dinner just so I can get to dessert, but Dad stops me before my first bite. Of course, I think. We need to say grace. Me, Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Grandpa all hold hands, thanking God for our food, and then dig in. But Mom and Dad just talk about work, and I am too focused on finishing my food quickly to pitch in. Finally—Grandma's pie! When you bite into the soft, smooth filling, you can instantly tell it's been made with fresh pumpkins, not the boring canned ones. The taste of cinnamon and spice is balanced out perfectly with the coolness of the whipped cream. The flavour spreads through my tongue and nostrils, filling my entire brain with a feeling of amazing-ness. If I wrote the Simple-Speak Dictionary for Senghavi Terrans, I'd put Grandma's pie next to the translation of "perfection." I should save a slice, I think, for the Senghavi kid. Even though it's only been a week since I met him through the playground fence, we already told each other where we live, and I want to get to know him more. He doesn't live on the Vennec Human Reservation, but his house is just a bike-ride away in Fellye Neighborhood. I wonder if anyone's ever given pumpkin pie to an alien before. Even though humans only invented it fifty years ago, it makes me feel proud of my species! When Mom tucks me into bed, kissing my forehead, I tell her what I'm going to do. "Oh, you wild thing," she coos. "You're so much like your father. And you have his eyes, you know? Just stay safe." "Don't worry, I'll do my best." >!
"Good night. I love you." !<
>!
"I love you, too, Mom," I say. I hug her tightly from my bed, and a warm, fuzzy feeling blossoms within me. I can hardly fall asleep in my excitement. !<
Luckily, Fellye Neighborhood doesn't take apartheid that seriously, and I don't think anybody cares about an eight year-old human riding his bicycle around the gates. Next evening, I do just that, peddling out of the Reservation's entrance into the violet dusk. When I get to Mensim's address, I ring the hi-tech front doorbell, and a really tall Senghavi shows up. "Oh, dear," she says in Parimthian. "A barbarian hatchling—by what name do you go?" "I'm Casimir," I say nervously. I don't pay that much attention in school, but I know just enough Parimthian to talk to the Senghavi woman. "Are you Mrs. Munghazi? Is Mensim fe Munghazi here? I got two slices of pie. You can have one, too!" She looks at me suspiciously, antennae twitching. "That would be Teacher Munghazi to you; I know not why you natives invented these odd 'Mister' and 'Missis' honorifics. Hold on—Ghanvati! A native hatchling stands at our doorstep!" Ghanvati must be Mensim's dad. I wonder where his other moms are; only one has shown up to the door. Ghanvati shows up with two of them—they are both shorter and daintier than Teacher Munghazi, their raptorial forelimbs folded shyly against their bodies. In front of the group of three is Mensim, and I involuntarily gasped with excitement. "Mensim!" "This is your new companion?" Ghanvati asks Mensim. Mensim's papery forewings flicker with affirmation. "I met him at school." "What, pray tell, is the point of apartheid if it does not actually keep natives away from Senghavi?" whines one of Ghanvati's wives. Ghanvati's antennae droop as if to say "I don't know," while Mensim lifts my arms, inspecting me like I am a test animal in a mad scientist's laboratory. "How do you guys not get cut all the time?" he asks, tracing his tarsal hairs over my bare skin. "You're so fleshy!" "I do get cut all the time," I giggled. "We just use band-aids. Oh, do you wanna eat a pumpkin pie?" It turned out that pumpkin pie is bad for alien stomachs. Mensim had to go to the bathroom for a long time, and three of his moms got mad at me. When I got back, Dad and Mom were arguing. I snuck close to the back porch, making sure they couldn't hear me. "Yes, they leave some people alone," Dad said. "Obviously, they can't spy on every single human who believes in human religions. But Katarzyna, they still need people to make an example out of, and I don't want to be that person!" "Casimir is a responsible kid," Mom retorts. "I told him he can't tell anyone what you do, and he listens to me." "He's eight years old. You can't just let him wander around aliens with a secret that could have me killed! Or have *you *killed!" Mom cups Dad's cheek and looks him in the eye. She's a lot shorter than him. "Look, love. You're a great father, and I think it's amazing that you spend time with him. But you're the only person he talks to. You know just as well as I do that he needs to talk to other kids! It's not healthy; even Teacher Perevvoxath agreed. And now he finally has a friend." Dad sighs, running his hands through his black hair. My hair. "You really think aliens are a substitute for human interaction?" >!
"I think every human needs a person they can talk to, and Casimir found one. If you really care about him, stop preaching for a while! Your church isn't gonna die without you. It'll be okay." !<
The next day, I visit Mensim's house after school again. And the next day after that, and the next after that. His dad Ghanvati is formally named Engineer Munghazi. I am to call his moms Teacher Munghazi, Teacher Munghazi, Teacher Munghazi, Accountant Munghazi, Priestess Munghazi, Doctor Munghazi, and Maidservant Munghazi. A couple weeks later, Mensim and I are lounging together on his couch, watching a Parimthian war movie. The main characters are fighting against the evil forces of the Imperium of Orion. Under his head capsule, Mensim is munching something called Synth-Fruit, which is imported from a faraway planet called Mryi. I eat Pop-Tarts, which I'm pretty sure are toxic to him. "Come on, just give me one," Mensim exclaims, reaching over to steal the sweet snacks from me. "It can't be that bad!" I lift the Pop-Tarts away from him, laughing. "Stoppit, you're attacking me! Pay attention to the movie, or I'm gonna shoot you!" "But I just want one..." "It's gonna poison you, and you're gonna get your weird alien throw-up all over me!" Priestess Munghazi, the oldest of his moms, bursts into the living room, her jewellery clinking over her clerical cape. "Your sister conveyed to me quite the disturbing piece of news, Mensim," Priestess Munghazi cries. "The father of Casimir is a priest of a most barbarous and evil perversion of the Siedi faith. Ghanvati and I spoke, and we agreed that you are not to consort with this primitive, pagan savage any longer." I drop my crumbly Pop-Tart on the couch, confused at the sudden order. "But Priestess Munghazi, I'm not dangerous or evil. I'm just a kid." "Nonsense! You are dangerous; your father is a barbarian worshipper of this evil, primate paganism that is called Christianity, and a most woeful effect is begot that even self-respecting Senghavi have 'gone native,' as they say. Mensim, if you continue to consort with this native spawn, I will be impelled to inform the Siedi Court, and they may by chance see to it that he is executed!" "W-Wait!" Mensim says, holding up the remote to pause our movie. He gets off of me, suddenly losing interest in my Pop-Tart, his vestigial forewings rising with concern. "Please, Mother. I promise he won't be any trouble." My blood runs cold. Dad, executed? Just because what he believes in isn't "civilised" enough? Actually, I thought that Mom told him to stop preaching for a while. Mensim scrambles to *his *father's sleeping quarters, and I trail frantically after him. "Father," Mensim says. "Is Casimir's father's job so ghastly that he should be executed by the Siedi Court?" "We can't just let the natives spread the same barbarous religions that they used to kill each other," Ghanvati replies, his secondary arms clasped together. "It's a threat to safe, moral society. Priestess Munghazi told me his father spreads evil and paganism. I have no reason not to trust the oldest of your mothers." "But Casimir's my best friend! If you tell the Siedi Court about his father, I'll... I'll run away! I'll hate you!" Distressed vibrations emanate through the floor beneath my feet; Mensim's antennae and papery forewings and hindwings go limp. Something like lilies and the earthy scent of rain fills the air. "My dearest Mensim," Ghanvati says softly, dipping his head capsule with compassion. "I will hold off, just this once. It would be apt of you not to cause me to reconsider." "T-thank you, Engineer Munghazi," I say, wiping my own tears. "My dad's not a bad person, I promise." *After confronting his dad, Mensim and I keep on watching movies and playing digital games. He always wins when we wrestle, but I still haven't given up (even though Priestess Munghazi always tells us to stop roughhousing). * I even bring my Lego pieces to his house. He doesn't know what Legos are, but later, in his sleeping quarters, we build together. He makes a cool-looking spaceship that he calls a "negative energy generator." "Hey, you took all the cool black and grey pieces," I complain. "Now I can't finish my army base!" "This is cooler than your army base," Mensim says proudly. "Father used to work in one. It uses the superposition of squeezed vacuum states to produce a field of negative energy density." "I have no idea what that means, but that sounds really smart." *"No kidding! It's how people make wormholes and fly all the way to other stars." * "Well, my army guys could beat your negative energy-thingy. They have machine guns." "My guys could just fly a [~million billion trillion kilometres] away, and yours can't do anything about it!" "Then your guys are wimps. But my guys aren't. Because they're the Army!" >! *We also explore the pine forest in his backyard. Within just two more weeks, we have uncovered all sorts of interesting things, like a piece of a real human skull. One time, we found a human foot sculpted and smoothed out of stone—who would make such a thing?—and a dead metal device with the icon of a bitten-out-of apple printed on it. *!<
There were also other human body parts made out of ancient stone, too: the cracked half of a man's face buried a foot deep, a muscly arm sticking out of the soil. Even a private part, which I snickered at, though Mensim seemed unfazed. There is something else we start to do. My parents have given me "the talk," and Mensim told me that his parents gave him the Senghavi version of it. And so even as we talk and play in the woods, we experiment—because we are curious, and why should we not be? A fragment of a memory in the forest; Mensim's raptorial forelimbs are set on my shoulders as his compound eyes look into my primate eyes, and he says, "You cannot tell anyone about this. Anyone. Absolutely no one." I don't know how, but Priestess Munghazi learned of what we were doing, and now she expresses anger and disgust alike, her wings and antennae wild and rigid. Ghanvati is the same. Mensim and I... We're actually making them reconsider their decision not to tell the Siedi Court about my dad. A fragment of a memory... I feel like I am in space, stranded aboard a spaceliner that has been hijacked by terrorists, its atmosphere venting amid a backdrop of violence... But I am not, I am in the forest that Mensim and I talked and played in; I am in Mensim's home, terrified as I am yelled at by Ghanvati, whose compassion no longer shines through, accompanied by Priestess Munghazi. "By the names of the Gods, it's those false, pagan corruptions which humans have named as their religions, that are spouted by your father," Priestess Munghazi spits. I am teary-eyed and snot-nosed from guilt and embarrassment. "How horrid is the link between the state of barbarism and a most revolting and shameful propensity for bizarre and perverted behaviour!" Then I am in my own family's living room, and the mom I love so dearly yells at me, too, but my father is quieter and only seems disappointed. This must be the first time in my life that I have felt true shame, I think; the kind that leaves you with an emptiness inside. Like the whole point of existing just vanished inside of me. *The worst part is that I cannot even lean on Mom's shoulder, because she is distressed—because she knows what will happen— * "This is all on you, Casimir!" she screeches, tears in her eyes. "All on you!" I remember telling Priestess Munghazi that 'I'm not dangerous or evil; I'm just a kid,' but now I can't be sure anymore. I can tell I am different in the eyes of my family. They are disgusted by me. After Priestess Munghazi tells the Siedi Court of my father's evil, barbaric Christian teachings, the Parimthian soldiers bring my father to the gallows. Their snow-white exoskeletons gleam under a burning sun. They have dressed him in his clerical uniform, and the camera is close enough that I can see his cross necklace. I have been grounded in my room; still, I have a television to see the live broadcast. Hanging works for primates and mantids alike. It happens in the Forum of Movvaeti, the venue for public events in our area, where my father is a lesser criminal compared to the native leaders and Senghavi malcontents who have dissented from Colonial Governor Nieve fe Skellth. He is joined with seven other convicts, three humans and four Senghavi, and their crimes are read to the crowd—blasphemy, paganism, monogamy, witchcraft, seditious libel, insulting the Parimthian Crown, treason against the Parimthian Crown, and refusal to quarter Parimthian soldiers. Why? None of this feels right. Why should my father be killed because of what he says and believes? Why can't these people be judged with fairness, rather than at the whim of some distant space emperor? Not only have I been grounded, but I grow cold without my mother's touch. I want to hold someone's hand while watching Dad lose his life, but nobody is there. Mom brings me food, but she doesn't even look at me. Why can't she look at me? Why can't she speak to me? I just want things to be the way they used to be, when Dad would help me practise hitting a ball with a bat on the street. I watch him turn down a caped, bejewelled priestess of the Siedi faith, who thought she could make my dad accept their Gods before his death. Before a modest crowd of humans and Senghavi alike, all eight of the convicts have their arms and legs bound with rope. I am begging myself to turn the TV off, but I can't bring myself to. The Senghavi executioner uses some kind of hi-tech display to remove the supports from beneath the convicts' feet. My stomach flips over inside of me, a nausea of shame filling my body. I can't deny it any longer. This is my fault—this is why my family avoids me—this is why they are disgusted by me—and Dad falls and his head jerks when the noose goes taut. As he hangs there, I cannot tell for how long he remains alive. My insides are cold. After the broadcast ends, after night falls and I sit in the moonlight spilling faintly through my windows, that is when it all comes out. I sob alone. I scream for Mom to help me and be there for me, but she does not come. Her harsh voice resonates through my memory; this is all on me. I am a disgrace to everyone I love, and that is why they have left me here. Why they avoid me as if I am a disease. The only thing I want is to see Dad again, but he is gone forever. I curl up on my room floor. What is this? What is this loneliness? This stinging hatred I feel against myself? No one, human or mantid, will be there for me. I cry until my throat cannot ache any more harshly, until my eyes cannot sting any more painfully, and then I go cold inside, my body shivering in the moonlight. I retreat into my happy memories with Dad until it is too painful to bear. I wish so dearly I could end it all, to take my own life and join Dad in the heaven that he believed in. There is a belt in my closet that I can use on myself in the way the Siedi Court killed Dad. But beneath the sickly well of shame, the nausea and crushing humiliation at the stupid antics of Mensim and I, with which Mom's brief gaze pierces me—beneath the weight of knowing that I will never fill the torturous vacuum Dad left, knowing that I am a foul and disgusting son to the mother I so desperately need, that I see no end to the infinite river of anxiety and guilt pouring through the hole left in my heart—beneath my isolation and my longing for human touch—something breaks inside of me. An emptiness of purpose. There is no point in going on, and I feel nothing, not even the desire to stop living. There is one exception: A hatred of myself, and of the humans I loved as family. One day, Mom appears in my doorway, and she just stands there. Before, I would've welcomed being offered interaction with her beyond just receiving food, but now I am numb, my eyes all out of tears to cry. "Pack your things," she says, her voice flat. She still doesn't look at me; the eyes she once said I inherited from Dad, she now shuns. "You're going to a residential school." Indigenous Residential Schools; that is what Colonial Governor Nieve fe Skellth calls them, I think. They're for human kids who have trouble letting go of their "savage" roots; kids that the normal schools aren't enough to civilise. Schools that show you how to act Senghavi, to think Senghavi, to... be Senghavi. There was a human kid in normal school whose sister went there, but they said that something had happened to her there; something in that residential school had changed her before she finally returned. But I feel no fear as I pack my clothes into my bags. Every time I look in my bedroom mirror, a violent feeling rushes to my chest, only to dissipate into the hatred-tinged numbness I have grown so used to. Finally, the time comes to depart. In the early morning, I am already aboard the autonomous public transport. It pulls out of the cracked street I once played with Dad in, passing by the entrance of Fellye Neighborhood, driving off into the fiery, violet Terran dawn. I see my faded reflection in the window, and my chest jumps with revulsion. So I look down, fidgeting with my touchpad—then the numbness abruptly leaves, and my tears fall once again. Forgive me for all the redaction, Doctor Morgthax. While I will not disclose what I wrote, you are correct, as always, about the act of writing. There is some semblance of psychological relief in typing one's sullen inner thoughts onto a touchpad. As if one can be heard without being heard.
By the time I drifted back to reality, my mouth and lips dry from dehydration, the hijackers had patched up the holes punched through the hull by the accidental explosion. Plenty of Senghavi passengers were spilling cerulean blood from beneath their exoskeletal coverings; though they were all alive, they needed medical attention.
Two hundred-something Senghavi civilians aboard this luxury spaceliner, and none had yet died. That stroke of luck offered me a glimmer of hope.
Pavok, the child, was emitting vibrations through the floor in his despair, the smell of rain and lilies becoming evident to me. It is starkly fascinating, the evolutionary dissimilarity between how native Terrans and Senghavi Terrans cry.
Those ships were delivering medical aid and critical provisions to the passengers, Commander Lokprel barked, the neutrino signals that encoded his gruff voice coming out from the intercom. Why did you laser them?
"Stop playing games," Jake snapped wearily into his radio. I recalled that his full name was Jacob Weaver, as Commander Lokprel had mentioned. A drop of blood streaked down his face. "We know what you're up to."
Paranoia will get you nowhere, Jacob. If we don't work with each other, you won't survive. We have detected an explosion aboard the spaceliner. Is anyone dead?
"Not yet," Jake growled. "But Fenni Svim will be if your forces keep approaching!"
Fenni Svim—the Senghavi from the Vellir Veneti Physics Lab, against whose skull Jake had pressed his pistol to halt the CDF's initial approach, hours ago—stiffened in her seat. I had never known the nuclear researcher very well before this barbarous event, but I prayed to the Gods of Siedi (whom I do not really believe in) that she would be okay.
Many of the passengers were still being kept by the windows to deter snipers. They included Pavok, behind whom Khadija stood guard.
"Sorry for attacking you," Jake suddenly said to me, his voice worn-out. "It's like Khadija said. The bugs know that humans are strong when they're united. It's why they try to play us against ourselves, to ally with just some of us, to try to make us hate each other; to hate ourselves. It's how they tore the United States apart. Everything they do... It's to make us ashamed of our species, our own culture, to lose hope in the future. If we were united, Casimir... they'd be terrified of us. And make no mistake—we're uniting again."
"E-even if what you say about mankind is true," I croaked, "Our species would not have settled anywhere but Earth. Our culture and history would still have been negligible and primitive, the richness and complexity of the Senghavi, still greater by many orders of magnitude."
"Casimir, did you go to one of the Indigenous Residential Schools?" Khadija asked.
"Y-yes," I managed, dusting off my formal wear and cleaning my glasses. "I was sent to one as a child. They are for those of us savage natives which conventional education could not sufficiently civilise."
Khadija's eyes softened with compassion, and she gestured to my wrist. "I asked because of that code on your wrist. I've heard about some of the things that happen in those places. The cruelty; the abuse."
I glanced at the abstract identification code tattooed onto my skin, faded with time. I hadn't thought about it in ages; it was but a remnant of my childhood, and I never paid it any attention.
"Residential schooling is necessary and proper," I tell her. "It is similar to human-mantid apartheid in its purpose; it keeps the public safe from savagery. "
"If we get out of this alive, I'm gonna take you with me to Russia," she said, wiping sweat from her brow. "Specifically, Moscow. It's where I lived after the fall of Türkiye. Man controls it, not the Senghavi."
I was already aware that a vast, untamed region named Zvorriu-Sai, located in Earth's northeastern quarter-sphere, is called Russia in simple-speak. A decade ago, Nieve fe Skellth had tried to civilise the hunter-gatherers who lived there, but his troops starved and froze in the snow.
It was with the multitude of planetary habitat fabricators that his army had been using that the native primates of Zvorriu-Sai constructed such cities as Moscow or Saint Petersburg.
"Russian civilization goes back over a millennium," Khadija explained. "I don't give a fuck about what the Senghavi have built on this planet; Russian architecture is my favourite, hands down. Anyway, it's the most stable and self-sufficient of the ten countries we've got left. Hard to invade, you know? It's seen better days, but the cities are nice, the economy is good. I think you'll find it's a hell of a lot less 'savage' than whatever the fuck the Parimthian Empire is doing."
To corroborate her claims, she showed me a photo from the gallery of her cracked, dusty touchpad. Before a busy canal, the waters tinted orange by a rising sun, a more relaxed version of her smiled into the camera alongside some human of the phenotype I had seen in the video of Tokyo. Looming over them was an intricate, palatial structure topped with colourful, onion-shaped domes.
"How... quaint," I replied, unsure of what to say, though it ignited dry laughter in Khadija.
"Looks like we got a communiqué from the UN," another hijacker announced, his mask still covering his face. I couldn't place his accent at all. He held up his own touchpad, displaying photos of the Colonial Governor herself—Perellanth fe Sumur—flanked by armed UN military personnel. They were clad in urban camouflage that was marred with blood. The black, plant-like extraterrestrial gazed defeatedly in the sterile lighting.
The UN had captured her! The Crown's decision to appoint a Vire as the leader of a Senghavi colony had been no small event. I was certain that after all the talk of Senghavi Terran independence, then followed by the Colonial Governor's capture, His Imperial Majesty regretted his progressivist decision.
"We... We did it!" Jake exclaimed, his voice disbelieving. "We took down Perellanth!"
You achieved nothing, Commander Lokprel retorted over the intercom. Not beyond the promotion of Benghoviu fe Prim to Acting Colonial Governor. If you kill Governor Sumur, Governor Benghoviu will become the permanent Colonial Governor as per the chain of command, and he will carry on the fine work of his predecessor.
Jake seemed to consider that situation a fair one, and he nodded to himself subtly. "Okay, sure. But if you do nothing, we'll still kill our first hostage."
What I can promise you is that Delegate Essintsya fe Baryn will submit an Act to the Forum of Delegates to recognize the sovereignty of the UN. It will be deliberated over for months, but it is your only realistic option. In return, we demand that you allow the passengers injured by one of your explosives to board CDF medical ships.
I recalled that the Forum of Delegates had voted Benghoviu fe Prim as Vice Colonial Governor just a year ago. And before even that, the Senghavi who lived on Vennec—my home continent on Earth—had popularly elected the ever-prudent Essintsya fe Baryn to the Forum. She was quite the economic liberal, as her sort was called.
Delegate Baryn's statements on the social contract between a people and their government, as well as her rejection that the Parimthian Crown ruled by divine right, had resonated deeply with me.
Jake's eyes hardened, and he turned his radio back on. "I said no games!"
There are no games here, Jacob! We only aim to preserve as much sapient life as possible. And you are out of options.
The hijacker who had shown Colonial Governor Sumur's prison photo gave Jake a withering look. "We're dragging this on, man. I don't want anyone to die."
"Don't talk to me about death, Ramiro. Not after what happened in the US."
The so-called United States of America... called Gholo Vieda in Parimthian. That region was Nieve fe Skellth's last successful conquest before he attempted to take on the vast, snowy expanses of Zvorriu-Sai. I wondered if, like Khadija's experience in Türkiye in the Niethvahi region, Jake had witnessed firsthand the cultural assimilation and political integration of Gholo Vieda into the rest of Parimthian Earth.
The conquest of Gholo Vieda and Niethvahi were the great accomplishments of Perellanth's predecessor, of course; but, in my opinion, the devotion of the (now captured) Perellanth to the causes of liberty, reason, equality, and sapientism far outshadowed anything that Nieve had done. I am certain, however, that the Parimthian Crown disagrees.
In any case, my faith in CDF Commander Lokprel loth Fonvie had not risen. Perhaps that was a good thing; otherwise, I might have regretted betraying the knowledge of antimatter research in order to elicit a more competent Parimthian intervention.
More security forces took up positions around the spaceliner, each ship split sharply into sunlight and shadow amid the black of space. The hijacker called Ramiro pointed to a series of smaller craft, which seemed to be pulling away from the luxury spaceliner. Escape pods!
"Hostages are falling through our fingers," Ramiro said. "We need to do something."
"Go to the rear," Khadija ordered. "Stop anyone else from sneaking out!"
Jake's radio crackled with the voice of someone in the cockpit. We've intercepted a neutrino transmission from the new guy, Benghoviu fe Prim. He's calling for some kind of emergency council at the highest levels in the Parimthian Empire.
I scoffed internally. The Crown would intervene for the sake of investigating all this talk of antimatter, whose alluring utility had hitherto been confined to theory and fiction. But it was doubtful that His Imperial Majesty would agree to an emergency council for the sake of his colonists' security and well-being. As (relatively) progressivist as he was in policy, he was still very much a punitive emperor, not a rewarding one.
"I told the commander to stop advancing—dammit!" Jake spat. "We're only letting medical craft get any closer. Fire at the corvettes!"
Affirmative, his radio crackled. Targets in sight.
The spaceliner's anti-collision lasers flashed against several faraway spacecraft. A succession of oxygen-fueled fires, each lasting for a [~split-second] against the vacuum of space, flared in the distance. Even so, the growing array of naval craft began to close in upon us again, surrounding the spaceliner in every dimension.
Switching again to the neutrino-connected channel, Jake gave a disgusted scowl. "Are you deaf, Commander? If your people keep getting closer, the deal is off!"
The more you fire, the closer we will get, *Lokprel said. *We are just making sure it is safe for the medical craft. As long as you refrain from harming them, we will not hurt you.
The hijacker in the cockpit radioed to Jake again, her voice sounding more alarmed.
We're picking up a massive object on our scanners. It's headed our way.
"How massive are we talking?" Jake asked.
It's... some kind of warship, I think. Over a hundred times our size.
"You're joking, right?"
"A Parimthian spacecraft carrier," murmured a soft, whimpery voice.
It was Fenni Svim again, her praying raptorial forelimbs tucked close in fear.
"The Imperial Parimthian Navy?" I asked. "They're really here?"
"Y-you shouldn't act surprised," Fenni said. "I know you were speaking to someone on the P-Parimthian side. You leaked our greatest secret, Casimir."
"R-right."
"What's she talking about, dude?" Khadija asked. Suspicion of betrayal lingered in her dark eyes. She had believed the lie that I was only calling a loved one when I contacted Mensim, >! who is at present an agent of Parimth!<; she had trusted me, and defended me against Jake's wrath.
I didn't answer. The very reason we needed antimatter was that the colonists' outerspace spanned but a meagre few millionths of the Parimthian Empire's total volume. I did not know what exactly a spacecraft carrier one hundred times the size of our spaceliner could do for the hostages, but it would be far more competent than the comparatively flimsy Colonial Defence Force.
Finally, after so many years of strategic modesty in the administration of the Crown's distant colony, of his Earth, as His Imperial Majesty suffered expense upon expense in countering the Imperium of Orion... Parimth had sent a warship of the Imperial Parimthian Navy, here in full force!
There was no need to inquire as to its distance; I could see it through my window. It was far enough that I could view the whole of its great form. Senghavi architecture, of course, is usually round, white, and glassy, traced with glowing accents; however, the imperial warship was boxy and shadowy black, visible only by the silhouette that it carved into the beaming sun.
Already, dozens of smaller craft—operated by some of the finest Senghavi pilots in the Milky Way—began spilling out from the spacecraft carrier, moving in the shadow of their gargantuan mothership. As even the hostage passengers became aware of its presence, the muted chatter and whimpering, which had been ambient across the aisles of the spaceliner, finally ceased.
Because of me, all of us—colonists and savages alike—were, for the first time in a decade, going to face a military intervention by Parimth itself.
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2023.06.01 00:22 Sad-Fudge1812 WIBTA for leaving when he wasnt truthful from the start
My husband and I are the same age, both in our early 20's and got married fairly soon after meeting each other. While we were dating I made sure tell him I have BPD and had been on medication for it, years before, for a short amount of time.
Throughout our relationship though I'd have noticed things, especially his lack of ability to focus and finish a task he started, for example he'd start the dishes and halfway through start cleaning something else and I'd have asked him in a joking but serious way like do you have ADHD? There's no reason why you would just forget you were doing dishes after walking away for two seconds. He would usually respond with a joke or something or that he just forgot or got sidetracked.
So we get married and move to another country and it just gets worse, to the point where the house is always dirty. When we met and he first came to my apartment he was shocked because it was CLEAN, I clean often and I have a rule where I don't go to bed with a dirty house until I started living with him. This is especially hard for me as I feel like I'm in hell in a dirty, disorganised place. Also he has stated that he was on medication as a child and refuses to go back on ti as an adult.
It came around where I think we were trying to clean our home and I said seriously why is this so hard for you to do keep stuff clean and I think he said because I have ADHD and I say no you don't because I've asked many times before and he say I do and we called his mom and she confirmed it. I felt so blindsided and hurt because why would he not have told me this BEFORE we got married. Recently after thinking it over I've come to conclusion that most of my frustration comes from him not disclosing his ADHD to me before we got married. When trying to talk to him about this I said it feels a little unfair to marry me knowing you have ADHD or any other mental or physical illness and not disclose it to me. I know myself and I know how I can be in terms of cleanliness and organisation so I wouldn't have gotten married to someone with ADHD as severe as his had I known.
I just feel completely unhappy as I have to keep asking him to pick up after himself and be less forgetful, which I now know isn't laziness but him actually not being able to have a mental list and execute it and while I understand that it's causing me to have to carry much more of the mental load and I'm considering getting a divorce because this is not what I signed up for, had I known and still said yes I wouldn't be complaining but to keep this from me the entire time feels unfair and when I told him that it feels unfair to not have been able to make an informed decision today he just got mad at me and left the house.
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2023.06.01 00:22 DefiledTarnished How can I become a better ally to trans women?
Let me preface this, I am not a chaser. I have had this allegation levied at me before but I assure you with 100% certainty that I'm not in the game just to put some heels behind some ears, my primary goal as of 2023 with over 500 pieces of legislation passed in the United States on pace to double that near the end of the year is to show my love and support for trans women, though I've taken to just calling them what they are women. I did find love on this subreddit about a month ago but uh, different time, different account before I 'quit' reddit.
Yes, I must admit I am not a practicing leftist, but, I love to learn and I figured that this community would be a good place to do that as this is a fairly left subreddit without getting into "wokescold" territory where I'll get told that I should give black trans women money, as a black man, because I'm apart of a group that causes so much violence against them.
so, all I'm asking is, is there maybe some reading I can engage with? Videos I should watch? Things I should do? As of 2023 I'm still pretty new to being progressive given I grew up in a conservative Democrat voting house hold. Conservative in the sense of well, LGBT stuff is a mess and the F-word got throne around my home more than the N-word just to shed some light, given I'm from beautiful Little Rock Arkansas' rice country.
So yeah, I love and respect trans women as the queens they are and I want to do my part to make America a place worthy of them, even if I am just a lowly footstool.
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2023.06.01 00:21 BarbaroGenius-1-2-3 [REQUEST] whats my ideology?
15 year old macedonian male, orthodox christian
Economy: -I believe that capitalism is a good system however i despise big corporations.
-There should be a fixated price on sliced and unsliced white bread due to it being a necessity.
-Extreme quality control when it comes to both import and export.
-Modernization of indistry including eco friendly technology. -Economy based of small businesses and artisans aswell as large companies.
-i kinda like the social market plan but jot really.
-only a pinch of diringisme for a slight squeez on the market.
Social issues: -All are equal no matter race, sexuality, gender or religeon. -Poverty must be kept to a minimum if not to a 0.
-Petty theft should only give you 2 months rehab, and drug abusers should also acquire rehabilitation from their addiction.
-Pedophilia and other paraphilias should be punishable by death and death alone as i belive that sterilization is not enough for such wretched human beings. Same goes for cannibals and mass murderers.
-Divorce should not bring social stigma. However divorcing a husband/wofe only for profit must give you as much social stigma as you deserve.
-Instead of preying on innocent drivers that went 2 miles off the speed limit, maybe do your actual jobs? Maybe it could solve crime.
-Infrastructure to the max, even add a railroad to for extra transport.
About the nation: - I am a good patriot at heart and believe the current government is simply a kabal of corrupt profit-minded shysters who plan on doing nothing with their position but further dig my country into its own grave.
-Family, identity and tradtion are important and the state must preserve its culture by all means.
-Macedonia must reclaim its ethnic borders.
Foreign policy: -SLAVA UKRAINI🇺🇦
-russia should either collapse into warlord states or become a puppet democracy to the west, either way it should not rise as a super power for the next 200 years.
-China and the US both suck as superpowers.
-Fuck the EU
-NATO is a good concept but it should not be oriented around just defence and definitely not have the US as its leader, all members must be equal.
-Bulgaria and Greece suck. Quit stealing our history and the. Calling us the ones that stole your history.
Military: -is currently 8000. Should be 10000 strong.
-actually manufactoring our own weapons and tanks.
-at least serve 6 months in the army as to have at least the bare minimum of experience to defend the country in case of a war.
Misc: -fast transition to eco friendly tech
-an extreme emphasis on culture.
-maybe make movie theaters have movies and plays more often.
-everyone must get a good and free education.
-ban tole boothes vecause these things were made by satan himself for fuck sake.
-free healthcare.
Edit here is a bonus!
Ideologies i like: Conservatism, national conservatism, christian democracy, stratocracy, left wing nationalism, social nationalism, social patriotism, social democracy, agrarianism.
Ideologies i am neutral with: Anarchism, socialism, despotic governments that give a shot about their people, liberalism.
Ideologies i hate: Fascism, nazism, anything that has "esoteric" at the strat of it , communism, stalinism, maoism, anarcho capitalism, syndicalism, dictatorships in general, the american system of doing things.
People i like: Winston Churchill, FDR, Ludwig Erhard, Boris Yeltsin, Metodija andonov Cento, Goce Delcev, Dame Gruev, Jane Sanda ski, Ataturk, Cemal Bayar.
People i hate: Stalin, mao, mussolini, hirohito and i bet you know who else is on this list
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2023.06.01 00:19 Daikaiser Reused content despite not uploading any videos
I've been thinking of creating short videos lately as a hobby and decided to check out the features and functionality in the dashboard. The one think I don't understand and fairly confused about is in the 'Earn' section, I have a notice that I can't monetize my channel due to 'Reused Content'. I have never uploaded anything to my channel so I'm not sure what's going on here. Is this a normal thing that happens? It's also stating my last day to appeal was February 20, 2019.
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2023.06.01 00:19 Suspicious_Stuff_705 Awful Carvana Experience
Hello everyone,
I wanted to share a frustrating experience I had with Carvana. I went through purchasing a car from them, but I didn't sign any contracts. Despite this, Carvana charged my account the full amount, including the shipping fee, five days after I completed the steps, even though the car wasn't scheduled for delivery for another month.
To give you some context, I'm currently in the process of moving to another state, but I haven't arrived there yet. My plan was to have the car shipped to my new state. Carvana informed me that if I didn't provide a temporary driving license from the new state by 9 PM that evening, they would cancel the car. Unfortunately, I couldn't obtain the license because I wasn't physically present in the new state at that time. My intention was to keep rescheduling the delivery until I reached the new state, at which point I would quickly upload my license to prevent the cancellation and proceed with the shipment. During a conversation with a Carvana representative, they assured me that I could cancel the car and receive a full refund, including the shipping fee. I was surprised by this information, so I repeated the full amount several times and had them confirm what they were saying. Although the call was recorded on their end, I don't have access to the recording, unfortunately.
I received a refund for the car itself, but the shipping fee has not been refunded. When I called Carvana to inquire about it, they informed me that the shipping fee is non-refundable and there is nothing they can do about it. I would never have cancelled the car if they hadn't misled me! It doesn't seem fair that I'm being charged $990 for absolutely nothing. I would be willing to pay a reasonable fee for their time (perhaps for the underwriting job, which may have taken around five minutes), but $990 is incredibly excessive. I'm completely shocked by this situation.
Is there anything I can do at this point? Losing that money for nothing is not something I can afford, and I'm seeking advice on how to handle this matter.
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2023.06.01 00:19 Twayneeded Oct 2021
21/10/1
I worked with ychild to get her to clean her room. i did not help her but tried to tell her step by step on cleaning. ochild found out and started cleaning his room. He did well but missed something small. I asked him to finish this one section and he flipped out. I did not yell at him but did start to become heated because he was throwing a fit like a toddler. spouse came bursting into the room yelling at me for yelling at ochild.I think ochild knows he just can just yell and stomp to get spouse's attention and I will get in trouble and he will get to do whatever he wants. This is when I finally made up my mind that the only option is divorce. I cannot think that this marriage is fixable now. I did the dishes, cooked supper, cleaned the living room, swept, and vacuumed. spouse asked me when was the last time I cleaned the toilets. spouse slept with the kids.
21/10/2
spouse spent all day in her room working on her school work. I got the dash cams working in both of our vehicles. Worked with the dogl while walking with her harness. I put up all the laundry except for her shirts because there is no room in our closet and we are out of hangers. I picked up all the torn up trash and dog poop in the backyard. Did a water change in the aquarium. ychild has torn up her room that she cleaned the other day. I spent about an hour outside playing with ychild and ochild. I managed to get the kids in bed around 10-10:30pm. spouse announced that she was taking a bath. At the end of the bath I went in. She started talking about how after everyone went to bed she was going to stay up in the livingroom to work on school. She then told me i came in there for a reason and to tell her what was going on. So I asked if I could go down on her that night. She got angry and told me "does not need to be taken care of." I closed the door and left but I could hear her still going off on me. I feel deflated and unloved again. I don't know why I keep trying to bring the spark back in the marriage. spouse slept in our bed last night and ychild joined us. Today I cooked a breakfast supper and made pizza for lunch. I woke up at 3:30 am and couldn't get back to sleep.
21/10/3
I started this journal and decided to try and write about the previous 2 weeks events. My goal is now to record the things I do in the house, my interactions with spouse and the kids, where spouse sleeps, and anything noteworthy on a daily basis. This morning I tried to talk to spouse (she sighed and looked annoyed when I started talking) about an interaction I had with ychild on our way to get breakfast this morning. ychild decided to talk in a way that makes it sound like she is cussing even when she isnt. I told her what I told ychild and spouse snapped at me when I tried to get into the details. If I know I am going to talk to spouse about something non-spontaneous I'm going to try and start recording the interactions. I cooked supper. spouse slept in our bed last night, ychild joined us after waking up.
21/10/4
Today we went to the state fair. It started out as usual when we go on the trip. late start, blaming, getting mad, yelling, her being upset. After getting to the fair the day went well. We didn't argue very much and the day was actually nice but long. Wife had a school meeting at 5. Went out to eat for supper then ice cream with the kids. As usual fight started when the kids only wanted to sit with Wife. Get home kids bathed and put in bed. Wife bought a special deodorant to help with smells in the breast/pubic area (something she is self conscious about) I helped apply it and try and kiss her breasts. She turns away and says she is cold. Helped wife put together kids lunch and backpacks for the next morning. Take the trash out. I shower and notice my wife isn't in bed when I get out so I assumed she was sleeping with the kids. She was sitting in the living room in the dark with her phone on facebook. Wife said she was going to bed but didn't want to "do anything." I go to bed also so I can spend some time with her. Once again I try and cuddle with her. I roll next to her and place my hand on her leg. I don't move it because it tickles or annoys her. After 5 min without her trying to cuddle and with her face buried in facebook I roll over. She can tell I was upset and said that she didn't try and cuddle cause my arm was pinning her down. This isn't true it was only on her leg and i wasn't applying any pressure. YChild ended up in our bed during the night.
21/10/5
Went to work today. no goodmorning or goodbye kiss. Worked all day, picked up the kids, brought them home and emptied their backpacks. Wife got home about 10min later. No hey how was your day. no hello kiss. Nothing. She disappeared into the bedroom again. Worked with Ychild on her letters because she isn't doing well in school. had a breakfast supper. Took the dogs for a walk. made OChild lunch. She complained because I had not yet done the dishes. Waited till the last minute to get their backpacks/clothes together for the morning. Complained because things were missing. feels like I never hear anything positive only ever complaints. Went to bed and wife finally makes it in. I don't really attempt to cuddle just put my arm on her leg and accidentally scratched. Thought I had made her mad so I pulled my hand back. A few minutes later and she rolled over and spooned with me (little spoon.) Its been years since this happened. Is she doing that because of my persistence and she is trying to make me happy? or is it because of a positive change. Only time will tell (success.)
21/10/6
Woke up and wife wasn't in the bed. I don't know if she woke up early or went to lay down with the kids in the night. She was in a mood when i got up. Complained because I hadn't put up the kids school laundry when it came out of the dryer so the clothes are now wrinkly. I let myself relax last night and did not do as many chores. I need to work on that and try and stay busy. ran into trouble picking the kids up from school. Their school fund raisers were supposed to come out with the kids. Ochild did not bring them out because he didn't listen to instructions from his teacher. Wife had to swing by and pick them up because I was already on the way home and the line was seriously backed up. Got home did the dishes, cooked supper, folded the laundry and put a load of laundry in, and gathered and took the trash out. Wife spent the evening once again in our bedroom but this time it was working on activities to help our daughter learn better for school. She did have a school meeting at 7 pm. I thought the kids would shower on the next day so I did not tell them to bath, but was overruled agrily by wife and gave my daughter a shower because her hair was dirty. Kids got to bed 1 hour late because wife kept overruling me on telling them to go lay down. After kids went to bed I got on my computer to play games. I put too large a load in the dryer and it took a long time to dry so I was not able to put it up before bed time. Wife went into the kitchen to make the kids lunches. I asked if I could do anything to help and she said no. I layed down in bed a little later than I was planning. Wife was very angry when she opened the dryer because I hadn't taken the clothes out and folded them, I had washed our large pile of clothes instead of the kids 1 day of clothes, when I folded the laundry I didn't put the towels in the bathroom because i did not want to interrupt her meeting so she yelled at me because the towels were not in the bathroom when she went to take a shower. I was berated very badly and once again felt unappreciated, emasculated, and unloved (hated maybe.) She said that I was doing more around the house only because I felt our marriage was failing (in a sarcastic tone of voice) and I wanted to be praised. I am doing it because it helps with my depression and honestly I am trying to get into the habit for when I inevitably divorce her. I turned off my emotions and went to sleep. No kiss goodnight and even saying goodnight.
21/10/7
Woke up at 3:30 am alone in bed. I assume the wife slept with the kids. I couldn't go back to sleep so I laid in bed. Closer to the alarm time of 4:30ish I got ready for work. When my wife came in I had to say good morning,she wasn't even going to talk to me. I had to initiate the conversation. I left 5 min early because I didn't want to be around her. I had to kiss/tell her goodbye which is usual. I'm not sure the last time the morning routine was initiated by her. several times in our marriage I have experimented with how long we would go without a kiss or an I love you that wasn’t initiated by me. Usually its several weeks and I almost feel like seeing how long it would take this time. Got home with the kids and stopped for our weekly
treat. Wife did not spend as much time in the bedroom as usual. I was tired so I did not feel like doing any cleaning. I cooked supper and we watched a show during supper. Afterwards she joined me and the kids in walking the dogs. We got back and watched a few more shows and then I helped her with lunches and getting the kids things together. Anytime something didn't go perfect she always had little comments and blamed me (like when she couldn't find Ychilds clothes or if a tape was missing.) all in all, the day wasn't bad and wasn't good either. I went to bed a little early and she decided to stay up and watch one of her own movies. I did not kiss her or say I love you. She did not say anything about it.
21/10/8
Woke up at a normal time. Wife and Ychild were in bed with me. The morning went ok and Ychild was very chipper and loving. Got home from work with the kids and went out picked up groceries and ate out. we stopped at some yard sales and had a decent fun time with minimal arguing. Got home and put up the groceries. wife's parents were coming over the next day and "we" cleaned the house. I did the dishes, cleaned the counters, vacuumed and shampooed the carpets, picked up the living room, cleaned off the fireplace, put up the clothes in the living room. It was 10:30 I kept telling the kids to go to bed and Wife kept overriding me. Telling me its the weekend and the kids should be able to stay up. I think 10:30 is too late for an 8 and 5 year old to stay up. I told wife I was tired and was going to bed. She complained that she was going to have to stay up and clean the house by herself. She said i didn't do enough. The only thing she could come up with when i asked her what i didn't do was keep the entertainment center clean and organized. Apparently i'm fine living in an empty house. Funny when she was a stay at home mom after she got laid off and then during the pandemic, the house was never cleaned. She stayed home all day everyday and never cleaned nor cooked supper or did the dishes. I feel like I am bending over backwards not only am I not receiving credit for what I have done. I am actually getting complaints for not doing enough. She eventually went to bed with the kids while I slept in my bed alone again. Not that I wanted her company after making me feel like that.
21/10/9
Got up around 7:00. I finished cleaning the carpets in the living room, cleaned the trash from the carpets, and swept the bathroom. We went looking at garage sales. Parents got there a little late in the day and spent more time with her sister than they did with us which is usually. I tried to get the kids to go to bed at a decent hour but was once again overruled by my Wife. She said the kids are on a school break and should be able to stay up later. I agreed but didnt think staying up till 11:30 at night should be the answer. They should be in bed at 9:30 and asleep at 10:00. Needless to say Wife slept with the kids.
21/10/10
Today we spent a great deal of the day traveling and going to yard and estate sales. It was a decent day with minimal arguing except for right before supper trying to get the kids to not cry when we wont buy them everything they want. Wife said I am fuel to the fire for the kids. It upset me that she constantly bad mouths my parenting style. Apparently not putting up with children throwing fits and actually punishing them instead of just letting everything play out without saying anything is a bad day. A thunderstorm came late in the evening and none of us went to bed before it passed. Wife slept with the kids again.
21/10/11
We all woke up early and took wife to work. When we got back I let the kids play and be kids. We did work on Ychilds worksheets for school. Ochild had a dr apt then we went to pick up wife. Got home and cooked supper and did the dishes. I also vacuumed the livingroom. spouse spent the entire evening in the bedroom working on schoolwork. Wife slept with the kids again.
21/10/12
Woke up with Ychild in my bed and wife at work. Had a good day with the kids. Ychild lost one of her (only pairs) of shoes. They played all day in the living room having a good time. Had leftovers for supper. Wife spent all evening in the bedroom working on schoolwork. Wife slept with the kids again. I was feeling very alone again. Just reminded me how we don't have much of a marriage.
21/10/13
Woke up early alone in bed. Had a good day with the kids. Helped them build a big fort in the living room. I did some woodworking today and got the pole saw from our neighbor. Walked the dogs before supper. Supper didn't turn out well, the pork chops were freezer burnt so we got taco casa. Wife spent the evening in the bedroom working on schoolwork. Another thunderstorm rolled in around bedtime. Wife slept with the kids again. That's 6 days straight sleeping in my bed alone.
21/10/14
Woke up at 3:30am got up but went back to bed and eventually sleep around 4:30-5:00. Woke up with Ychild in bed. I took the kids to several stores today and changed the water in the aquarium . Wife got back home and let the kids play. Once my wife got home I cooked supper and washed the dishes while she disappeared into the bedroom. Went back there and she was just laying in bed saying she was tired while watching tv. I convinced her to come and eat supper with the family at the table. Afterwards she went back to the bedroom for more bed and tv. She would rather spend time laying in bed and watching tv than spend a little time with me. I have been all alone with 2 kids all day (actually for the last 4 days.) Ochild convinced her to come out of the bedroom to show her something on his tv. I don't know what to do and no longer feel connected to my wife, I feel like I am all alone. Wife came out and before laying down with the kids mentioned I havent kissed her goodnight in a few days and to come kiss her. It was just a smooch but at least she took notice. I told her it feels like she wanted me to do that lately.She told me she was just stressed and tired from school work. She slept with the kids again tonight.
21/10/15
Woke up with Ychild in bed with me. Got the kids up and fed them breakfast. Wife got home early and we went to an estate sale. I made hotdogs for supper. Kids went to bed late. Wife complained about them not being asleep. I told her what she said about them being on a school break and me getting in trouble with her earlier for putting them to bed before 10:00 pm. It didn't matter, it was still my fault and still upset. Wife slept with the kids again.
21/10/16
Wife got up earlier than me. We left the house around 9 to go look at some neighborhood garage sales. had a decent day in the car with minimal fussing. Got home a little later than planned. Had Ychild start cleaning her messy room. Wife started complaining about the messy house again saying she is the only one who cleans. Apparently I am not doing a good enough job. What a surprise. did some laundry today. got the kids to bed around 9:30. They were constantly out of bed until 11:00pm with different things. I was getting upset with them and my wife strolled in and took over as usual as soon as the kids started crying. She actually came to bed with me tonight. I tried to cuddle with her but as usual she huffed as soon as I put my arm around her. She said she doesn't mind me cuddling, she just doesnt like it when I move my hand. She made no effort to return the love. I am glad for these interactions because it reminds me that I am not loved and why I want a divorce.
21/10/17
Woke up around 6:00 am with a stomach ache and bloated. Down to 238 lbs. Wife spent the day in the bedroom working on school. I did some laundry, trimmed the trees in the yard, and put out bulk pickup items. Cooked chicken fajitas for supper. Wife came down sick with something and went to bed early. Kids were asleep by 9:00. Wife was asleep by the time I came to bed.
21/10/18
Went to work. Not a bad day there. Got home and cooked supper, took the dogs for a walk. Tried to put the kids to bed at 8:00 Ychild started crying and got wife to agree to let her sleep in our bed tonight. All they have to do is turn on the water works. The wife doesn't want to hear them cry so she caves. Ychild slept with me and wife.
21/10/19
Went to work. Picked up the kids and went home. Cooked hotdogs for supper. Put up some laundry. Wife cut the Ochild and my hair. Didn't go for walk today. Got kids to bed on time. Wife slept with the kids.
21/10/20
Worked from home today. Picked the kids up for a half day. Stopped at chick-fil-a for lunch. Went to the fish store with the kids. Met Wife for the Ychild's parent teacher conference. Cooked chicken fajita nachos for lunch. Gathered trash, did laundry, and did the dishes. Cut out the pumpkin with the kids. Wife and I watched Netflix until bed. We lay down and I decided to try cuddling again. I rolled over to her and she actually reciprocated. She put her leg around mine and held my hand. It felt really nice.
21/10/21
Went to work. It was an uneventful morning and work. Picked up the kids and called my wife to meet us at DQ for a treat. We got home and my wife wasn't feeling well. She didn't eat supper. Me and my kids took the dogs for a walk while my wife stayed behind and took a bath. We watched netflix until bed again. Got the kids in bed on time. When the kids threw a fit when they wanted Wife to cover them up she said something in a low voice and refused to tell me what she said. I kept asking her and she finally told me "it's probably why you resent me." I didn't say anything because it was partially true. I do resent her because the kids prefer her, but they only prefer her because she constantly gives in their fits and I do not. So I keep being the bad guy and she get to be the fun yes mom. Later we started working on the kids' lunches. I got a bottled drink off the table and started to open it.She asked if it was old and I said i don't think so. She started to complain at me because she didn't want to give the kids an old drink. I started to explain why I didn't think it was old (the cap still had seals on most of the cap.) She told me I was talking too loud (I wasn't, I was talking in a normal voice.) She told me she didn't need me anymore so I left and went to bed. We went to bed angry with
each other.
21/10/22
Woke up still angry at her because it was such a little issue to get mad about. Things like this happen all the time. Little things that don't matter in the long run end up being blown up beyond what it should have. had a decent day at work then went and got the kids. ate at the olive garden. Ochild asked if he could have her phone. I explained to him that he could only have his tablet, not her phone or tablet. He got upset and wife immediately caved and gave him her phone. I explained to my wife that we agreed 2 weeks ago and they haven't had either this entire time. their behavior is much better but she said she isn't feeling well and just didn't want to hear it. i got home and unloaded the groceries. My wife started complaining about me unloading the groceries wrong. Apparently I'm supposed to put them on the table starting at the far end then work down the table from there. Like it makes a difference if you take an extra step either way the entire table is filled up and it doesn't matter which end you start on. Then my wife complained that I hadn't cleaned up the blood drops from the dog yet. I literally was only home for 2 minutes before she got home then we left but it's supposed to be my job to get it done with no time to spare. I cleaned it up and she started complaining that I cleaned it wrong. I used a baby wipe when I should have used clorox wipes. There is litteral pee on the floor and she is worried that the blood wasn't sanitized. Makes no sense. This all happened within 20 minutes. Needless to say she slept with the kids again.
21/10/23
Woke up for overtime on a saturday. i worked 7 hours on a boat on the lake. Come home and the wife is sitting on the couch watching tv and the kids are right next to her zoned out with electronics. she didn't do anything all day and has been binge watching netflix. she said
She wanted to go to a local festival today. I fixed myself a pbj for lunch then did the dishes. We went next door to help the neighbors put on their pool cover. After that we went to watch a country band perform at a local festival. We were there for 2 hours and she seemed
upset with me because she knows i do not like crowds and i told her i was there because it's what she wanted to do. that's supposed to be my job to do things i don't like to support her but I guess i am actually supposed to like it to avoid offending her. The kids were
horrible and kept fighting over her phone. It seems like im never gonna get her to put her foot down. Came back home and watched the last episode of season one of our favorite shows. Kids stayed up late and the wife slept with the kids.
21/10//24
Had a decent night's sleep. The kids were screaming when I woke up. Kids had a full day of playing. I took Ochild with me when I went to the store and I bought him lunch. We get home and I throw the kids' laundry into the washer. Wife and the kids made a pumpkin into a puppy for
Ochild's book report. I take Ychild to the store to get her own pumpkin. Kids are playing a game with a hula-hoop like mirror-mirror. My son asks the mirror who is the laziest and he puts it up to me. It really hurt my feelings. Wife talked to him and told him all the things I do (dishes, cooking supper, laundry, sweep/mop, vacuuming, gardening, mowing.) She listed all these things. I talked to her about it later and she said "well" like she really thinks I am lazy. She just listed off all the things I do and she talks to me like I am lazy. Ychild threw a fit at bedtime because her required stuffed animal is dirty from the dog. I begin telling her that she needs to take care of it and this wouldn't happen. Wife gets onto me about trying to teach her life lessons. Wife allows ychild to sleep in our bed with us. I don't think any of my lessons will ever stick when wife is there to overrule me and go softer on the kids. At least I didn't sleep alone tonight.
21/10/25
Woke up and went to work. Uneventful day at work. Get the gets and bring them home. I put up the laundry and started a new load. Picked up the living room and then cooked supper (smothered pork chops.) Afterward we walked the dogs (wife got home and was tired so she changed into pajamas) ychild was upset and wants her mommy to walk with us so she got peeved but changed into street clothes and we walked together as a family. We get back and sit on the couch for the next 3 hours watching netflix. Put the kids to bed then finish our netflix binge. After I volunteered to help fix the kids' lunch for the next day. She praised me for the speed that I made their lunch. Unfortunately ychild had spilled something in her lunchbox and I cleaned it. It got wet when I cleaned and my wife flipped out and got in a bad mood. the next 20 min was kicking me out of the kitchen, complained because i forgot to bring ychild's sweater in from the car, upset because i did not put the laundry into the dryer. I went to bed alone.
21/10/26
Woke up with my wife and ychild in bed with me. I started getting ready and my wife started complaining to ychild that she will have to go dig through the laundry basket to get socks because they never get put up. I spent all my time between getting home and cooking supper and putting up laundry. The both of us sat on our butts and watched netflix for hours the previous evening. we could have done those together but we didn't. Instead it's my fault because I didn't do it. Its tiring bending over backwards, feeling like you are doing the brunt of the housework, the only one working, the only one cooking and feeling unappreciated and getting bitched at for minor things. especially the 1st thing in the morning to our ychild within earshot of me. She is very passive aggressive and saying these things to my kids undermines my authority and prevents me from being an effective parent. Its things like this that leads me to believe that's why my son thinks I am lazy. I wonder what she has said to him so that I didn't overhear. I got the kids from school and brought them home. I immediately put up the clothes that had been folded but not put up. I cleaned the fish tank of dead fish and snails. I cooked supper (hamburgers), i wasn't feeling well so we didn't go for a walk, I got an old laptop together for Ochild to use. Wife and I watched TV for about an hour and got on my computer. Went to bed alone.
21/10/27
Wife and I had an argument at the end of the night. Went to bed upset.
21/10/28
Woke up with my wife and ychild in bed. Didn't say goodbye to my wife when I left. I had a decent day at work. Picked up the kids and brought them home. We didn't walk the dogs today. Wife had to stay late at school. Wife went to bed early with the kids.
21/10/29
Woke up in bed alone. Left again without saying goodbye to my wife. She was upset but I guess doesnt realize that our marriage is in trouble or just doesn't care and wants to maintain an illusion. Didn't have to pick up the kids from school today. We went out to eat for supper. Wife slept with the kids again. came home and mowed the lawn. We ended up eating out at Tuscan Slice. came home and the wife slept with the kids.
21/10/30
Woke up alone. Worked 10 hours of overtime. got home and immediately left to go do some halloween stuff at the big church. had a decent time with little arguing. Afterwards I ate at CFLA. Daughter got upset because she wanted to switch seats and I said no. I am tired of giving in
to the kids' every demand. When she started throwing a fit and told her she was about to get a spanking. Wife got upset because I will actually spank them and she thinks it doesn't do any good. The kids only really seem to do this when they know mommy is around cause when it's just me they behave. They know they can always get mommy on their side and turn her against daddy just by crying. The wife stayed in the bedroom working on schoolwork after we got back. The kids stayed up really late (11:30). went to bed alone.
21/10/31
Woke up alone a little later. Wife and ychild had slept with me. We ended up staying home most of the day. Wife stayed in the bedroom working on schoolwork. I played with the kids, swept, vacuumed, did the laundry, cleaned the living room, and cleaned the aquarium. We went to a local church event for trunk or treat and then we took the kids trick or treating down downtown. It was a decent night. We got home and the kids went to bed a little late.
Nov 2021 submitted by
Twayneeded to
twayneeded [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 00:18 billytime69 Want to save money? I called 9 of the biggest insurance companies to compare their prices. Here is what I found.
TL;DR Travelers is the cheapest
I called 9 large insurance companies and got quotes for Auto, Home, and Umbrella coverage. Although the price to insure my home may be different from yours, it wouldn't be crazy to assume that those who were cheapest on my list would be cheap for you as well, and it may be worth a look.
For all these quotes, I included every discount offered that I was eligible for: prepayment, bundling, etc. For apps that I would have to download to watch my driving in exchange for a discount, I applied the full discount to the quote because I already have the app with my current insurance provider, and was able to achieve the full discount easily.
My wife and I live in a condo, have had no insurance claims, and have spotless driving records. We applied for fairly standard homeowner's and auto policies, but added a $50,000 sewage backup policy, and the umbrella policy is $1,000,000. Our deductible is $500 across the board.
Company Name
Total Cost / Auto Cost / Home Cost / Umbrella Cost
Allstate
$468 $295 $126 $47
American Family Insurance
$292 $163 $96 $34
Amica
$376 $259 $104 $13
Farmers
$567 $460 $67 $40
Liberty Mutual
$376 $203 $105 $68
Nationwide
$301 $207 $78 $16
Progressive
$431 $305 $105 $22
State Farm
$320 $210 $86 $25
Travelers
$225 $148 $60 $17
We had Nationwide, but we will be switching to Travelers immediately. Hope this information helps some of you out there.
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billytime69 to
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2023.06.01 00:18 irjdkanymore I don't know if it's reasonable to sustain this relationship?
I'm tired of driving back and forth to my partner. It's been 2.5 years long-distance and it'll be another 2 years before we can even think about living together. I feel like we're stuck in this phase where it's just me driving back and forth to them. I work full-time, sometimes part-time and keep busy with hobbies. I rent a room b/c I honestly cannot afford to live alone on my salary. I've had shitty situations with roommates in the past. My partner is a full-time student in a doctorate program. I've noticed that both of us have gained a significant amount of weight throughout this relationship. I'm honestly afraid to look at the scale at this point. I've picked up really bad eating habits with them. I think this relationship brought on a different type of stress than I've been accustomed to.
The first year I met them, they weren't in school. So dynamics were a bit different. Lately, I've been reflecting and I feel like I give up my time, gas money, and energy to spend time with them when they have time. I've tried to be accommodating b/c school comes first but I have not been able to put myself first in this relationship. Even when I visit, I'm limited on the hours I can visit. Also they do not have an income so it's been very difficult. I've taken the financial responsibility to offset the costs of our dates, activities, events, or whatever. When we spend time w/ their family, that costs even more money that I cannot budget for or even expect b/c it just happens. Yet I make a pretty low salary for the cost of living in my area.
It doesn't feel fair to me. I'm always so exhausted and can't even stick to my budget b/c there are too many variables. They live rent free with their mom. They're currently full time in a doctorate program. So there is very little time for me. I've become accustomed to seeing them on a very rigid schedule. Sometimes we won't see each other for weeks. Texts/calls are limited in a way where I'm always told, "Well, I have to go or sorry to cut you off." At first I was very understanding and now I'm beyond frustrated b/c it feels like whenever I get comfortable in the conversation or with them, there is a limit and I'm cut off. Then other times it's like they're overwhelmingly wanting to spend time w/ me, in their time off affection, and etc... when I need to reacclimate to being around them in that capacity.
I'm not certain if I have the patience for another 2 years. I love this person greatly but this has been incredibly difficult and I find myself getting more and more frustrated even when we talk things out. I want to settle down. I want to live with my partner and start taking milestones towards settling down. I'm tired of the back and forth. I want to have a conversation without being cut off.
I've also been working on myself the past year. Started therapy, finding hobbies, and building social connections. Recently, I've been super involved in my hobbies. They came w/ me to one event and got upset w/ me, I felt bad, missed out on another event I planned on going to (even invited my partner) w/some friends but they weren't happy until I spent that time in the way they intended. I was so emotionally exhausted that I just cancelled everything for the remainder of the week. Another thing I cannot prepare for is when we're upset with each other and how draining that can be.They were mainly upset b/c they felt like I have a life outside of them and they're not included in my plans and they're struggling socially and they have absolutely nothing planned on their time off(they're doing clinical right now).I've literally planned so many of our dates in the past... I don't see why I always have to be responsible. It would honestly be nice if they planned something instead of expecting me to constantly take charge.I was also very upset and resentful that I didn't get to do the events I planned on doing and how I lost so much energy to do the things I wanted b/c of the whole situation.
I also feel like I want freedom, flexibility and my time back. I want to know if I intend to commit to something, nothing out of my control will prevent that. I've had to sacrifice so much for this relationship, time, money, inner peace, and energy. I've been really depressed lately and this relationship has only made it worse. They haven't even noticed that I'm actually depressed b/c they're so overwhelmed. When I communicate my frustrations or reasons why I'm upset they start crying and I feel guilty for saying how I feel or what frustrates me & it always goes back to how they're overwhelmed and how they can't handle things. I feel like I have to say what they want to hear b/c they're so sad but it's building resentment. Lots and lots of resentment. I am struggling with setting boundaries b/c for some reason I feel like this bad person when I try to. I don't know if this relationship is worth it. I don't know if I'm getting the things I need from it. I really don't know if sacrificing my sleep, my money, or my inner peace is worth the love, trust, and relationship I have with this person. I am so tired of going back and forth for nothing to change. I am so confused and cannot look at this objectively b/c they have made me feel incredibly loved, accepted, and make time/effort for me when they can. I just think the things I truly value from them aren't possible for a while and I don't know if this is something that'll pass with time or won't. They do make efforts in other ways but I'm honestly at the point where I don't think it's making any difference for me. I'm so conflicted between what I feel like I need and my love for them.
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2023.06.01 00:14 Intrepid-College-991 [18/M] looking for friends
hey there, would love to have people around my age to talk to and just let my mind wander. girls are preferred. We can chat about anything and it can be SFW/NSFW whatever your preference. i'm into cars, movies, music, tv, the outdoors, cooking, and gaming. Feel free to send me a message:) (fair warning i do post nsfw stuff on my profile just fyi)
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Intrepid-College-991 to
MeetNewPeopleHere [link] [comments]